Chapter Text
Daniel created a groupchat
Daniel renamed the groupchat to "F1 weirdos 🏎🙈"
Daniel added Sebastian as Gridmum
Daniel added Kimi as Icedad
Daniel added Max as Baby Lion
Daniel added Sergio as Checo Cruise
Daniel added Charles as Banana-man
Daniel added Carlos as Smooth Operator
Daniel added Lewis as #Blessed
Daniel added George as Shirtless child
Daniel added Lando as Streamer child
Daniel added Oscar as Aussie Pastry
Daniel added Esteban as Baguette
Daniel added Pierre as French Pear
Daniel added Fernando as Oldie
Daniel added Lance as Maple-boy
Daniel added Guanyu as Prada Kid
Daniel added Valtteri as Naked Finn
Daniel added Kevin as Door Smasher
Daniel added Nico as Hulkie
Daniel added Yuki as Short King
Daniel added Nyck as Debris
Daniel added Mick as Golden Retriever
Daniel added Logan as Baby Eagle
Daniel added Alex as Mad Cat Child
Daniel : Hello everyone!
Golden Retriever: Hey Daniel!
Smooth Operator : ¡Holà!
Maple-boy : Hi!
#Blessed : No.
Aussie Pastry : Why not?
Icedad : Bwoah, just no
Debris: What happened before for you to say no like that?
Naked Finn : 2016 happened kid
Oldie : Daniel, seriously?
Streamer child : I'M NOT A FUCKING CHILD! CHANGE MY NAME!
Baby Lion : DANIEL! I'M NOT A BABY!
Baguette : You really had to call me that, really?
Short King : I'M NOT SHORT!
French Pear : You are Yuki, stop lying.
Short King : Shut up you frenchman, you left me, don't talk to me!
French Pear : We talked about it Yuki! It was getting too much at AlphaTauri, I needed a change!
Short King : You left me. End of discussion. Bye, traitor.
French Pear : YUKI!
Mad Cat Child : GEORGE! BRING YOUR STUPID ASS HERE AND GIVE ME MY HELMET BACK!
Shirtless child : NEVER, I'M KEEPING IT!
Mad Cat child : I FUCKING NEED IT! GIVE IT BACK!
Gridmum : Okay... ENOUGH! EVERYONE CALM DOWN AND STOP CURSING!
: ...
Gridmum : Okay, thank you. Now Daniel, why did you created this group? Even more when you know very well how the last one ended
Daniel : Because I thought it could be better to share things between us drivers and reserve drivers. That could help the rookies be included on the grid and for persons that need help with their mental health and struggles to feel less alone and more secure
Icedad : Bwoah, that's actually a good idea, I'm impressed
Gridmum : There is someting I still want to know, why Kimi and I are here, we are retired
Baby Lion : BECAUSE WE NEED YOU!
Banana-boy : Yeah! Who is going to take care of us now!
Checo Cruise : And more importantly, who is going to supervise and stop the twitch quartet from doing too many dumb things?
Gridmum : You kind of got a point there, I can give you that
Icedad : Bwoah, I agree
Golden Retriever : You need a nickname too Daniel! Can you make me an admin, I want to change it!
Golden Retriever is now an admin
Golden Retriever change Daniel to Honey Badger
Golden Retriever : Here you go! It's better like that!
Honey Badger : I agree, thanks Mick
Oldie : I have a question, why don't we add others retired drivers then? I have a little idea of who I could add
#Blessed : Alonso, no, don't you dare
Oldie : Daniel, can you make me an admin? I won't mind the name you gave me if you do
Honey Badger : And if I don't?
Oldie : You don't even want to know 🔪
Honey Badger : 😰
Oldie : And I can assure you we will have some drama that could be really interesting
Short King : 🍿
French Pear : Share some Yukes
Short King : No.
Streamer child : 🥛
Debris : Yuki! Can I have some?
Short King : *give some to Nyck* Here my favorite teammate
French Pear : Yuki...
Mad Cat Child : Fernando! Tell us, we can wait any longer! 🧃
Oldie : Daniel, can I?
Honey Badger : Alright, you can
#Blessed : Daniel no-
Oldie is now an admin
Oldie added Nico as Britney
Oldie is no longer an admin
Britney : Hum... Hi?
Naked Finn :
Baby Lion : Oh, hi Britney! 👋
Britney : Hi kid, why am I here? I think I'm retired.
#Blessed : And we don't want to see you ever again, you can go and leave this group now, we don't want you
Britney : Oh really? Then why was I added?
Honey Badger : Because we wanted drama, Yuki and Pierre are starting to be a bit boring
Short King : I'm not boring. Pierre sure is.
French Pear : Yuki for fuck sake! Stop being like that!
Streamer child : 🥛🍿
Smooth Operator : Cariño no
Streamer child : ☹️
Short King : No. You left me for that fancy french team of yours. Now bear with it.
French Pear : Putain mais Yuki! AlphaTauri was getting too much! I was there for all my career! I needed a change!
Golden Retriever : Seb? Kimi? Pierre and Yuki are fighting again, where are you?
Door Smasher : Shhhhh Mick! It's getting interesting! Do like I tought you, watch and enjoy the drama
Golden Retriever : But-
Hulkie : Shhhh
Short King : You left me. Now be happy with your french friend.
French Pear : You really are going to be a little bitch like that?
Short King : 🖕
Gridmum : STOP RIGHT THERE! Seriously, we leave the chat for fifteen minutes and you do that! You're really going to break your friendship just for that?
Short King : HE. LEFT. ME.
Gridmum : Yuki, stop.
Short King : No!
Icedad : Yuki....
Short King : Sorry
Icedad : Good
Baby Eagle : Hum... is it always like that? 😧
Shirtless child : Most of the time yes
Naked Finn :
Aussie Pastry : We are going to die 😰
Gridmum : No, you're not, don't worry.
Gridmum : Also, Kevin, what are you teaching my child?
Door Smasher : I'm teaching him how to be a real man
Gridmum : You better stop right now.
Britney : You know that it's going to be a lot worse at Mercedes... he will be around Toto and Lewis all the time.
#Blessed : Shut up, I'm not an asshole teaching shit to kids like you or Alonso!
Door Smasher : Ouch
Oldie : That was not necessary
Gridmum : Okay enough! Everyone stop right there! If you want this chat to survive and not be the same disaster as in 2016, you behave!
Britney : Okay 🙄
#Blessed : Yeah yeah okay
Gridmum : Thank you
Prada Kid : Now... Seb, Kimi, why weren't you responding?
Honey Badger : 10€ they were taking a nap
Banana-boy : 10€ they were making out
Maple-boy : 10€ one of them was sucking the other
Gridmum : Lance! Charles! Fernando what are you teaching to my kids!
Oldie : For once, it as nothing to do with me
Streamer child : Wait! You are together?!
Gridmum : ...
Icedad : Bwoah, maybe yes, maybe no
Banana-boy : They are
Gridmum : Charles!
Maple-boy : They so are
Gridmum : Lance!
Golden Retriever : Yup, they are! And they are living together!
Gridmum : Mick!
Naked Finn :
Baby Lion : How did you know! Why don't we know too!
Icedad : We didn't want to tell it to the whole world for the moment.
Baguette : Since when?
Icedad : Since Seb's last world championship win
Naked Finn :
Icedad : Bwoah stop
Naked Finn : No thank you
Baby Lion : But how Lance, Charles and Mick know?
Golden Retriever : I always spend a part of my holidays with them at their house
Britney : Favorite child
Icedad : Shut up Rosberg, at least he is someone's favorite
Britney : Who said I wasn't?
Banana-boy : I once walked in on them making out in Mattia's office. That was awkward
Gridmum : Sorry Charles
Maple-boy : That's nothing! I was traumatized!
Gridmum : Lance no
Maple-boy : I walked in on them fucking in Seb's driver's room!
Gridmum is disconnected
Icedad : Still sorry for that kid. Now I'm going to see Seb, he is embarrassed because of what you said
Maple-boy : Oh... say sorry for me, I didn't want to upset him...
Icedad : Don't worry it's nothing, you're not the first one that walked in on us and you're not the most embarrassing one
Baby Lion : Wait what!
Icedad : Bwoah, that's a story for another time. Bye.
Icedad is disconnected
Baguette : Well... I did not expected that...
Checo Cruise : I think no one did...
Honey Badger : So... who gets 10€?
Baby Lion : Daniel... that's not important right now, we have to let all of this sink in...
Naked Finn :
Streamer child : Twitch quartet! Assemble!
Banana-boy : 🫡
Shirtless child : 🫡
Mad Cat child : 🫡
Baby Eagle : I- I don't even want to ask
Aussie Pastry : This is chaos
Naked Finn :
