Work Text:
“Wouldn’t you wish you had a way to deal with your anxiety?”
Craig never thought he'd hear anything remotely reasonable coming out of Eric Cartman's mouth.
He really, really , hated the guy most of (all) the time and tried to stay as far away from him as possible, but that day, for some unexplainable reason, he caught himself stopping on his way out of the bathroom to really listen to what that idiot was saying, and turned around to see Cartman, the same Cartman that was using a cardboard box on his head and bumped into him while Craig was peeing, and Craig's first thought was to walk away after washing his hands.
Go back to class and ignore that fatass. But...
“... My anxiety?” he asked instead.
“I see it in you, Craig. With your parents and relationships." Cartman said, like an expert on the subject. "Imagine being able to shut them out for a little while, Craig, so you. . . ”
Craig didn’t really hear the rest of it, but those first words were enough to keep him thinking.
Anxiety.
It was a word he was definitely familiar with, but not directly, or at least, that's what he wanted to think, since he never really considered himself anxious . Well, Craig definitely liked the feeling of having everything under control, because with that, he could always keep things nice and boring, just the way he liked it, and there was nothing wrong with that. And of course, he learned the hard way that people couldn't always have control over things, but he tried his best, and he was very good at it. So, of course, Craig knew he should have left without hearing anything else that idiot could say, but then, almost without realizing it, he found himself talking:
“Well, I have to admit… Sometimes, when me and Tweek are together, it’s like he wants my… ”
Craig stopped when he noticed that fatass once again covered his head with that cardboard box. Then he sighed. Oh, right. It was because he had a stupid box on his head with a Do Not Disturb label that that conversation had started in the first place.
He went back to the class when the bell rang, as usual, and for the rest of the day, he couldn’t help but think or… try to figure out how he planned to finish that sentence he started in the bathroom.
Sometimes when me and Tweek are together, it's like he wants my full attention, and I can't really give it to him . No. That sounded wrong. Like if what Tweek could say to him didn’t matter, and it was not about that.
I feel like I can’t give him the attention he deserves? Meh.
Oh, what about…?
I’ve been feeling pretty weird these past few days because of everything besides Tweek, so it’s hard to focus on being the good boyfriend he really deserves?
Yeah, that was better. Kinda gay, though.
So, here’s the thing: Craig was pretty good at giving attention to things that were interesting for him, and there are only a few, by the way. Well, two, and Tweek was one of those two, of course.
Craig felt like anything his boyfriend could do or say was interesting and deserved his full attention, even if sometimes Tweek would bring up weird conversation topics, like the nightmares about gnomes stealing his underwear (Craig had to stay up all night with him through the phone to make sure those gnomes didn't show up) but that didn’t bother him at all because he liked Tweek a lot , so he wanted to be able to listen and help with whatever was bothering him, no matter how ridiculous it might seem for other people. Fuck those other people.
But lately, finding comforting words or solutions was hard, and he didn’t really know why. Well, there were actual reasons. Craig just simply couldn’t focus like always because of… personal issues . And yeah, he perfectly knew that, more than a problem solver, Tweek would rather have just a little of his attention and comfort from time to time. When he was panicking for whatever reason, Tweek just wanted to be heard until his words of panic, running over each other, managed to unravel into a solution. One he could get himself . That's all, but Craig…
Well, Craig must've had a goddamn hero complex when it came to his boyfriend, because even if it was just about listening, he wanted to be the best listener. He wanted Tweek to feel like the center of the world, someone who could deal with the smallest thing with a little bit of his help, and Craig not being able to give him the perfect attention because he was just worried about how to do it, it was stressing him out. A little bit.
He didn’t know why, or how all those worries first started. Maybe since the beginning and he just haven’t noticed it until now, or maybe since he stopped seing Tweek as ‘the fake-boyfriend with whom he had to pretend to keep the town happy’, to start to see him just as Tweek, the blonde-guy with freckles who was his friend but now was something between more than that and Craig’s huge crush.
Can it still be called a crush if they were already together? Craig wasn’t sure, and he was confused, so he felt really stupid too. Like Stan' gang's level of stupid, and that was a problem. He wasn't sure if it counted as a relationship problem, but there it was.
The other problem, the less important one but that it was still there, was about his family. More specifically, his dad (his mom and Tricia were OK. Most of the time, at least) because apparently, even when he had explicitly said that he liked “Gay Craig” when the whole yaoi fever exploded, eventually, his dad’s support came with some concerns that being gay wasn’t making Craig… well, less of a man? Whatever the fuck that means.
Since, like, a month ago, Craig was forced to go out with his dad every Sunday in what he called “Men’s Day”, which wouldn't be so bad except that it was at those times when he had to tolerate a lot of questions about his initiative and role in his relationship with Tweek, and hints that sought to find out which of the two was.. well, the man in their relationship. What the actual fuck.
Usually, Craig would just ignore that kind of nonsense bullshit, as a clear sign of “Stop bothering me. Go away.” but his dad never got that, and he was starting to get really annoying. Or maybe he did get it, but didn’t care because making sure your homosexual son is still man enough is way more important than pissing him off a little bit. Whatever. He just didn’t want to admit, not even himself, how much his dad was getting to him, because it was better to think he’ll eventually move into something else when he got bored of pestering him, maybe something that would not imply Craig having to spend any more father-son bonding time, and it could be over. That would make him so happy.
Of course, Craig never told his boyfriend about any of this because he didn't want him to worry, and because he knew Tweek definitely would: He would think that it was his fault for being Craig’s boyfriend, for being a boy, and because it was Tweek’s idea to get back together (and kinda officially?) after the acted break-up in front of everybody at school, but it wasn’t. Well, it was his idea, but it wasn’t Tweek’s fault that he was a boy, or that adults like Craig’s dad existed in the world to be annoying as hell when they wanted to, even if they weren’t really bad.
Even when it actually was because of Tweek’s idea about getting back together after that public break-up, that was the reason for what now they were… they , but that wasn’t something to feel guilty about. Honestly, Craig always wanted to say “Thank you” to Tweek when he thought about it, but he wasn't sure for what exact reason he wanted to thank him about.
Thank you for convincing me to accept this, us, as a couple? Thank you for letting me call you pet names? For watching Red Racer with me all the time? For being so kind to Stripe the first time you met him? For having freckles? For just being you?
Shit , Craig felt he should be ashamed of being sooo gay. But, wait. What was the whole point of this? Uhm…
Oh, yeah. The self-inflicted pressure of not being a good boyfriend, or listener, or whatever. His dad being annoying. Him not being able to focus on support Tweek when he needed it because of all this. All that sucked, but Craig just needed time to figure it out on his own without having to involve his boyfriend, because he had everything under control, right?
…
… Fuck.
He thought about Cartman and the stupid cardboard box, and maybe it was because he was too tired and stressed and cranky enough to want to burn the town down, but suddenly, the idea of taking some time to himself, away from all the things that only managed to irritate him, was a little tempting. At least for a day, Craig told himself. Yeah, there would be nothing wrong with taking a day where he could relax and focus his mind on something silly instead of being full of doubts and pressures he was self-inflicting, or thinking about what he could say or do to get his dad to finally leave him alone.
A day without listening to him or anyone else.
Just one day .
(...)
Craig had been wearing a cardboard box over his head for three days.
The last time Tweek had seen him before that was a Saturday. He had noticed that Craig was quieter than normal, which was not at all unusual because he was a the kind of person who spoke only what was necessary, so Tweek didn't want to assume anything strange. Overthinking was a bad habit of his, after all, and besides, they'd been texting each other over the weekend and everything seemed fine. Until Monday.
According to Craig's mom, their son had bought that… thing on Sunday morning with his saved money without telling them, and had been using it ever since. Now it was Tuesday, and Craig was still… well, walking down the hallways, next to Tweek, but without being really there .
The first one who started with that box thing the week before had been Cartman (Of course). On Monday, not only Craig, but several students imitated him, even the PC Principal! And the few who did not, like Tweek, were simply confused. Then he learned, thanks to Stan and Kyle, that Cartman started using the "Buddha Box'' because his therapist diagnosed him with anxiety , and since then that dumbass dedicated himself to using his phone, connected to that stupid cardboard box. They also said it was weird that Craig joined the cult, considering that he was perhaps the least anxiety-filled person they knew. Tweek was someone most likely to end up in the Buddha Boxes fever giving his... background, and maybe because he was a buddahist? Who knows.
"We would’ve expected it from you, dude, not Craig."
Oh, Tweek’s anxiety was definitely there, between all the Buddha Boxes, but instead of wanting to join the cult, it just made him want to steal them and take them to the farthest dumpster to set them on fire with a huge grin of relief because, honestly, he felt like everything was worse since they'd shown up. It made his interactions with Craig way more difficult, not to say kinda impossible. Ngh.
He thought of many possible ways to end the Buddha Boxes during the first day, and he did that just to focus his mind on that particular problem, and not on the possibility that Craig had decided to use one of those because of Tweek, who maybe was too dependent, and anxious, and whom maybe Craig had had enough of, so maybe he decided that using that stupid box was the most delicate way to indirectly tell Tweek that he was way too annoying, and he wanted to break up with him, and never see him again!
Agh! Was that overthinking? It was, wasn’t it? Tweek wasn’t sure, because all of it made perfect sense to him.
Tweek was aware that he was a complicated person to deal with, but he really thought he was getting better. Maybe not great , but definitely better. He no longer had the need to look in all directions for potential danger, or pull his hair out of nervousness, and even his tics had reduced considerably (unless he was extremely nervous) and especially since dating Craig.
He didn’t know how to explain it but Craig helped him a lot more than he could probably realize. Tweek needed the type of calm that Craig brings into his life. And of course, being a couple implied a lot of changes, for both, and even if at first their whole relationship was just to keep the town happy, now it was different. People had gotten so used to them being together that holding Craig's hand was no longer something that attracted tons of stares, (although Asian girls used to show up with yaoi art of them from time to time, and some adults still gave them money) but Tweek quickly realized that a romantic relationship wasn't something that could be faked for too long.
He and Craig had always liked each other (or at least, after that fight in the hospital. They’ve been friends ever since) and used to spend a lot of time together before the whole yaoi fever, but in a more general and "friends" sense, and now spending time together meant spending time together and it felt different.
Tweek couldn’t really explain it, but those times when they were alone, playing video games or just talking about trivial things, it just felt right . He wouldn't know how to put it any other way than ‘being with Craig feels like the place I should and want to be, and that’s it’ but that would be too agh! to express out loud. He definitely couldn't just say it without instantly wanting to move to another country to hide his embarrasment.
It had always been okay for him to have Craig be the one to take the lead on most things, couple things , because sometimes Tweek felt that deciding what to do on ‘dates’ or what movies to watch was way too much pressure (he could screw it up by choosing something Craig didn't like, or that would bore them both) but this time there seemed to be no solution to the Buddha box problem, unless he did something to make Craig want to listen to him.
Maybe if Craig could just make him understand exactly what the whole cardboard box thing was about, Tweek would know whether to panic or not, or find a way to help him. That would make everything so much easier, but no. Tweek quickly understood that this time he had to be the one to take the initiative, and well, he wouldn't get to be as good as Craig, but he could definitely do it. He had done it before, on special occasions, at least.
Of course, it wasn't as easy as Craig always made it seem.
Tweek really tried to talk to him and get his attention without being too annoying, but Craig would barely lift up that box for "Yes”, “No” or “I don’t know" answers, which didn't do any good for striking up a conversation, and then he would easily go back to focusing on his phone. At lunch, they would sit together, but Craig wouldn't even touch his food. Maybe he didn't even know they were at lunch time, and Tweek was so busy thinking of ways to deal with this issue to think about eating.
When they got out of school, he had to go to work so he wouldn't even go the same way as Craig. They would usually split up on the front door, but on the first day of that week (when Craig first showed up with the stupid Buddha Box) Tweek felt a huge panic at the idea that a Craig not paying attention to his surroundings would make him easy target for kidnapping by crab people or gnomes , so he ran after him and on the second day, and for the rest of the week, he made sure Craig got home safely, even if it meant being late for work.
On Wednesday they went (or well, Tweek went, dragging Craig by the sleeve) to a ‘ how to support our loved ones when they suffer from anxiety’ meeting. Tweek really paid attention to what the therapist in charge was explaining to him (and others) about how important it was to try to understand the need for people with anxiety to isolate themselves, and how they needed to be supported.
He knew he had to listen to a professional if he really wanted to help Craig, so he just went about his daily routine as normally as possible. He still sat next to Craig in classes, and in the cafeteria, walked him home (even when it was obvious Craig didn't notice any of those things) went to work, then home, slept the best he could, and repeated everything the next day.
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.
Then, Saturday came.
Tweek and Craig always saw each other on Saturdays because there was a Red Racer’s marathon on TV, and they used to watch it together at one or the other's house, alternating weekends. It had been a habit for the past few months, which had started as I guess we should hang out more often now that we’re a couple, but gradually it was less of a plan and more of a pleasant routine. Tweek hadn't yet admitted how much he actually enjoyed Red Racer’s Saturdays, but he didn't need to. Craig surely knew.
This Saturday, Craig was supposed to come over to Tweek's house. His parents were at the coffee shop, as usual, and thanks to had’ve been saving his gay money more carefully over the past few days, he had enough to buy some chips, sodas and chocolate bars (Craig's favorites) with the idea that he could make him feel better about his anxiety with Red Racer, candies, and a whole Saturday without worries. Tweek didn't even intend to chat about the Buddha box issue, unless Craig wanted to. He would just go out of his way to be the attentive boyfriend Craig always was with him, and make him feel better. In other circumnstances, he would like to talk about the whole thing, but first, he needed Craig to actually start talking again. Little steps, right?
The Red Racer marathon was starting at 12:00.
At 11:31, Tweek had everything set up in the living room, so he just had to wait for Craig.
At 11:43, he thought about sending him a text, but decided not to. He didn’t need to, because Craig would never miss a Red Racer Saturday. He just wouldn't do it.
At 11:57, Tweek was already sitting on the couch, tugging at his own hair in the midst of his impatience, because Craig should be there by now, and him not being there only made Tweek overthink a lot more than usual.
Shit. What if the anxiety thing was much bigger than he expected? What if Craig really was so wrapped up in it that he'd forgotten about the Red Racer marathon? What if it had gotten to the point where he didn't want to leave his house? Was it that bad? What if he used that cardboard box forever? What would happen then?
Tweek froze in place as a thought struck him like a bolt of lightning: What if it was his fault?
Craig was having a hard time dealing with anxiety. What if Tweek was one of the reasons for that anxiety? What if he was the reason? Before dating Craig, before they were even friends, Tweek had always noticed that everyone in class saw him as someone weird, someone who was always panicking, someone who was hard to deal with. Maybe Craig had reached his limit with him. Maybe he'd given some sign before and Tweek hadn't noticed because he was a terrible person.
With a heavy sigh, Tweek turned his attention to the clock on the wall. 12:18PM. Red Racer had already started, but Tweek simply grunted, grabbing his keys (and a chocolate bar) before heading out the door, walking for twenty-two minutes with his head in the clouds, until he finally reached Craig's house, and knocked firmly on the door, ruffling the fabric of his pants in his fists just as the door opened.
"Oh. Hello, Tweek." Mrs. Tucker smiled at him. She always smiled and was super nice to Tweek. Craig used to say he thinks his mom liked Tweek more than her own kids.
"Hi. Is Craig home?"
The woman nodded softly. "He's in his room. Come on in."
Craig was in his room. He was sitting on his bed, addictively using his phone, and with the fucking Buddha Box over his head. Tweek turned on the lights before approaching him and, for the first time, he refrained from exploding in panic. It wasn't because he was confident that Craig wouldn't hear him even if he did explode, but because, even in all that mixture of confusion, insecurity, anger, anguish, and probably other things besides, Tweek had one thing on his mind above all else: Craig's well-being.
He thought Craig must have been going through something too difficult for Tweek to understand. Tweek was not good at understanding a lot of things , after all. Shit , he probably wasn't good enought to support Craig the way Craig had always supported him. So… What could he do? He tried to think really hard. Craig used to ask him those questions whenever Tweek was feeling anxious about not knowing how to handle something that was stressful.
Just take a deep breath and think: What can you do?
Well, he definitely couldn't make Craig's anxiety dissapear with magic. He wished he could, but that was not gonna happen, so the next best thing he could think about was to try to help by getting rid of one of the many things that could be causing this. The problem was Tweek didn’t exactly know what those things could be, but the only one that came to his mind was…
Tweek looked at Craig.
Shit . He knew what to do, and he hated it, but maybe it was for the best.
Taking a seat at the foot of the bed, at a small distance from Craig, Tweek swallowed as he pulled out his phone. The "clicking" sounds as he typed sounded louder and more annoying than usual, but he quickly swallowed any possible regret, and pressed the button.
Send.
And then… silence .
Just for a second, because Tweek instantelly noticed that Craig's hands had stopped typing on his phone, and thought he saw his posture become straighter (ha-ha) before pulling the stupid Buddha Box off his head with one hand, almost jumping out of bed, and then he saw Tweek, finally realizing he was there, and Craig's panicked expression shifted to one of stiffness, before he picked up his phone.
"Dude, what the fuck?"
(...)
Craig had no clear idea what had happened over the last few days.
Well, actually, he kinda did. He knew he had been totally focused on his phone and silly videos he found on the internet, mostly about guinea pigs or fun facts about space. He already knew most of them, but he liked watching them anyway.
Honestly, isolating himself from everything felt good . He couldn't even remember clearly how or when things had started, just that he would go to sleep totally relaxed, and just deal with everything around him without having to actually deal with it. Instead of listening to his father and his annoying "men's talk", he just used the Buddha box the whole Sunday, and then he didn’t stop using it. He didn’t want to.
The few times he barely lifted the box to hear something being said to him, Craig was limited to responses of "yes," "no," and "I don't know." He had always been not much of a talker, so he didn't consider it a problem. Then he would go back to his own thing. His mind wasn't burdened with problems or causing him that strange pain in his throat, and he was fine. Everything was fine.
At least, that's what he thought, until his phone made a little "ding" with an incoming message. From Tweek.
"Maybe we should break up"
Craig felt absolutely nothing when he read those words, but not a nothingness of indifference, or like it didn't matter. It was nothing like... As if a huge void suddenly flooded his chest, and his mind went blank, but only for a second, because the next, he instinctively jumped out of his bed, tossing the box aside, no matter where it landed.
What he felt was an empty something . Something that hurt.
He had every intention of putting on his shoes and going to Tweek's house to find out what the hell had happened so suddenly, but he didn't need to when the first thing he saw upon returning to the real world was him, sitting at the foot of his bed, and staring at him in disbelief, as if Craig had been the one to send that message.
And Craig couldn't do anything but pick up his phone.
"Dude, what the fuck?"
Tweek was confused. “W-What?”
“What the hell is this?”
Tweek blinked. He looked at the phone, then at Craig again. He wasn’t sure he was understanding the question.
"I-It's a text message."
Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. Tweek knew that was a stupid thing to say.
"You're breaking up with me? With a text?" asked Craig. His expression may have looked impassive, but inside he was a freaking volcano erupting. His brain wouldn't stop boggling with questions: What? Why? What happened?
"I'm not. I said maybe we should, if... if you want to." Unconsciously, Tweek started to tug his own hair, and decided to stand up as well. Agh, this was so nerve-wrecking.
Craig frowned "Do you think we should?"
Shit. Was that a tricky question? Tweek felt the words get stuck on the tip of his tongue. He wanted to say Yes. I mean, no. No, I don't. I only want it if you want to, but I don't want you to want to. Agh! Why is it important? I'm trying to do what's best for you, asshole! but instead, what came out of his mouth was a vague:
"Uhm, I guess so…"
Craig didn't feel a void this time. He felt like a million rocks were embedding themselves in his chest, sinking in. Shit, shit, shit. For the first few seconds, he couldn't do much more than lower his head, staring at his socks. He didn't know how to respond to that, and without realizing it, he ended up sitting on the floor, resting his back against the bed and cursing through his teeth.
He couldn't look at Tweek, so he looked away until he noticed one of the dumb rocket-shaped stickers on the wall next to his window. Crap. Craig cleared his throat softly, trying to ignore the strange burning in his throat, still not looking at him, until he finally managed to say something.
"...Why?"
Why? It was Tweek's turn to frown.
"What do you mean why?" he sounded so genuinely confused that Craig couldn't help but look at him this time.
That confused tone was not what he expected in someone who was trying to break up with him. Seriously, what the fuck was going on?
"I mean..." Craig had been dating (and being friends with) Tweek long enough to know that being direct and clear was the best way to understand each other. He sighed, resting his head back against the mattress of his bed. "Why do you want us to break up?"
"I don't want us to break up." Tweek rebutted, almost indignant. Goddamnit .
"Then why do you think I'd want to break up with you?" he asked differently, and fortunately he seemed to get it right, because he wouldn't know how else to ask.
Craig didn't want them to break up? God, Tweek hoped not.
With a heavy sigh, he sat down on Craig's bed. His legs began to move unconsciously, as he searched for the right words to respond. Or at least, he tried to.
"Well, you suddenly wanted to stay away from everything because of your anxiety. I don't know the exact reason, and I couldn't ask you, but I just thought that... 'being away from everything' also meant being away from me and..."
Tweek had no idea how to explain it in a way that made sense, but the truth was that anything that could imply Not being with Craig would never make sense to him, and maybe if he had not been so immersed in his own thoughts, he would've notice the incredulous expression on the other boy's face.
Anxiety?
Craig frowned, somewhat confused, wanting to ask: what anxiety? Then he remembered and, fuck, had Tweek talked to Cartman too? Did that fatass give him some weird idea? Craig wanted to kick his ass, but that wasn't even the thing that mattered the most to him out of everything Tweek had said. What stuck with him was that ‘I thought being away from everything also meant being away from me.’
Why would Tweek...?
"Why would you think that?" he couldn't help but ask.
Tweek couldn't hold back a grimace. He wasn’t really sure , it was just the way the whole situation made him feel. He turned his face so Craig could’t see him. "I don’t know, dude. Maybe because it's Saturday?"
Saturday. Craig blinked.
Saturday? It was already Saturday?
But on Saturdays...
"Red Racer’s On" he understood right after he said it, and then looked at the clock on his wall. " Ah, shit ."
No way . Was he really missing the Red Racer marathon? The Red Racer marathon he always watched with Tweek? The same activity he looked forward to every single week? Craig tried to remember last Saturday: Tweek had come to his house, they had eaten fast food his mother had bought for them, because she liked to be a good hostess, especially when Tweek was visiting, which meant that this time he should have...
He looked at the (fucking) Buddha Box on the floor of his room, and the pieces slowly began to fit together.
His first thought was Damn it. Fuck you, Cartman.
The second thought was about himself being a complete asshole, because he was. He'd been so focused on himself and his own distraction from the problems, that he'd ruined everything. Goddamnit. Craig was supposed to take a little time from the self-inflicted pressure of always trying to be the best boyfriend for Tweek, and how the hell did he do that? By following a fucking Eric Cartman ’s idea, isolating himself from absolutely everything and being a shitty boyfriend instead. Great job, Craig.
"I don't want us to break up." was all he could say, and the strange weight in his chest became less intense, but it was still there.
What if he'd ruined everything already?
"...You don't?"
Why did Tweek sound so unsure? Craig thought he already knew, that everyone knew , that them and their relationship was important and special. He had always wanted to believe that he had shown Tweek that spending time with him was different than anything else. He never really said it, but he sure made it perfectly clear.
"Of course not. I just..."
Shit. How could he explain it without sounding stupid? What exactly was he supposed to explain? He sorted through his thoughts as best he could, and picked one priority out of everything he had to say. Maybe it was time to start being straightforward and embarrassingly honest.
"I like being with you, Tweek. It's one of my favorite things in the whole world.” God, there you go. Craig being so fucking gay. “I would never want to break up with you."
Tweek could feel his face heat up, starting to blush (he hated blushing, it was even more embarrassing!) while the heavy weight in Craig's chest turned into a strange warmth at the sight of it. Maybe it was not the time or the place, but he couldn't help but think it was unfair that Tweek was so unintentionally cute. He didn't know if guys were supposed to be cute, or pretty, but it didn't really matter. Craig was sure that Tweek was the living definition for those words.
Of course, he couldn't tell him that. He was already sounding too homosexual in his mind.
"Really?" he heard Tweek ask in a mumble and, god, he was so precious.
"I mean it. These past few days have been really weird for me, but I didn't mean to ignore you, nor did I ever mean to forget a Red Racer’s Saturday.” He still couldn’t believe that last part. “I'm sorry, honey."
Tweek tried to ignore how much he liked hearing that pet name, because he didn't feel any better hearing the apologies that came with it. He was supposed to be doing what was best for Craig, finding a way to support and help him, and instead, he was hearing apologies, as if Tweek had done nothing wrong, and he believed he must have been doing something wrong. After all, not having noticed Craig's signs of anxiety until he showed up at school with a cardboard box on his head was bad enough. Especially when it took just one gesture from Tweek for Craig to know when something was wrong. It wasn't fair.
"I thought..." No. What he thought wasn't the point. Tweek would get nowhere with his assumptions.
Then he wondered if this could be the chance to get answers that would help him understand better. Would Craig want to talk about it? What if he didn't want to? What if he'd rather pretend nothing happened? Gah! There were too many possibilities. His head was starting to ache.
"A-A lot of people at school started using that stupid box." he said instead. "It was very confusing, but then, when we talked to the therapist, he said....”
"What?” Craig interrupted him. “What therapist?"
They'd gone to a therapist? Craig had definitely been on another planet the last few days. At what point had they talked to a fucking therapist?
"At school. He said we had to be understanding when our loved ones suffer from anxiety, and I never thought that you..." No. That sounded wrong. Of course Craig could have his own problems, but he was so calm all the time, that Tweek never thought something like this could happen. "I just wanted to understand how to help you, but you wouldn't talk to me, so I thought maybe I was part of the problem and..."
"Stop." Craig said, before sighing. He'd really fucked everything up. "It had nothing to do with you. I just... I've been upset about some things lately, and then I made the mistake of listening to Cartman. I’m an idiot." he took a deep breath and, wow, he'd never noticed how good it felt to breathe outside of that awkward box. "I’m really sorry, Tweek."
For what, exactly? For listening to Cartman? For having ignored Tweek for days? For standing him up on a Red Racer’s Saturday? Should he ask what exactly Craig was apologizing for?
"Why were you upset?" was what he asked instead, and Craig put on that face. The Oh, everything's fine face, even when Tweek knew it wasn't. He hated when Craig acted like that.
"That's not important. The point is..."
"What? Dude, of course it’s important. It's really important if it causes you to want to ignore everyone" Tweek couldn't help but sound annoyed. "We’re supposed to be…” Shut up! Don’t say it. “I thought we could talk about these things. Maybe I could’ve helped you find a way to deal with your own anxiety.”
“Stop saying that word.” Craig snorted. “I don’t have anxiety, I was just tired of… everything .”
“Everything?”
“Everything that it isn’t you.” he said without realizing how corny it sounded. “And maybe Stripe.”
Tweek crossed his arms, tugging at the sleeves of his own clothing. This situation was more than he could usually handle, but he wasn’t exactly moved by those words, no matter how sincere and, well, kinda romantic they were. He couldn't let Craig avoid talking about the elephant in the room just because he said some nice words.
Wanting to feel on a closer level, he ended up sitting on the floor next to Craig, hugging his own knees as he tried to collect the words in his mind. Again . Why was communication so difficult?
“You can talk to me about it. About that ‘ everything’ ” he said. It was actually weird Craig didn’t want to. That was what you’d expect from a problem-solver like him. “I know I'm not as good a listener as you, but... I might be the best one if you need me to.” he quietly said, before sighing “I want to be."
Silence again.
“... Shit .” Craig ran a hand down the side of his neck and took a deep breath, without looking back at him.“Can I hug you?”
What?!
“What?” Tweek didn’t know what kind of answer he was expecting, but it was definitely not that .
“Y’know, affirmative consent? I want to hug you, and I’m supposed to ask first.”
Tweek frowned. “Are you trying to distract me?”
And Craig kinda smiled, still not looking at him. He wouldn’t be able to fight wanting to hug Tweek otherwise.
“I don’t know. Are you easily distracted?”
“Stop.”
“So, can I?”
“No!” Tweek grunted.
“Okay.” It was worth a try. “I’m not trying to distract you, I just wanted to hug you. You’re too… you. ” What’s that supposed to mean? Tweek wanted to ask, but Craig started talking again. ”And I just don’t like to feel worried or upset about things. I don’t think it’s worth it, so I always try to ignore them until they go away.”
Tweek looked at thim “And what? They didn’t this time?”
“Not unless we strap my dad onto a rocket ship straight to Mars.” Hey, that didn’t sound like a bad idea. “What do you think? You hold him down and I knock him out?”
Since he always talked with the same monotone tone, Tweek never could tell when Craig was being serious, and it was probably better not to know.
“What did he do?”
“I don't even know at this point.” Being a pain in the ass was the best possible answer. “He acts weird since you and I are dating.”
“Oh.” Tweek hugged his knees even closer, and Craig recognized his expression. “I thought he was okay with it.”
“He is, but in a kind of stupid old-fashioned way.” He couldn’t avoid talking about it anymore. Tweek wanted to know. “We have this… thing he calls ‘Men’s Day’ since a few weeks ago. He makes me go fishing with him when he doesn't even know how to fucking fish, or he takes me to the bar where he just drinks while he and his friends play cards, and it’s so boring.” He sighed.
“How did it start?”
“I don’t know. I heard him talking to my mom a few days ago, something about… how now that I’m a teenager, I have to learn how to be a proper man, whatever that means.” his mom didn’t seem to agree with that conversation, but Craig didn’t mention that. “Since then, every sunday is father-son bonding time, and I fucking hate it.”
“Did you tell him that?” Tweek asked, and Craig snorted.
“I tried. He said I had to want to do those things, because it’s what men do.” Craig was starting to hate that word. “And he still wants to be a ‘supportive dad’ so he told me we should invite you too.” And Craig knew Tweek would hate it, even more than he did. “I bet he's just trying to make sure that being gay isn't making us sissies.”
“ Oh, God. ” Tweek couldn't help hiding his face in his arms, crossed on his knees. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was hoping he would just get bored and cut it out eventually. Giving him too much attention meant I was not giving attention to you , and I hated that too.” He used his feet to kick the Buddha box even further. “I feel like I haven’t been able to be… I don’t know, the good boyfriend who is always there for you.”
“Maybe because you put a fucking box on your head and stopped talking to me.” Tweek muttered, still hiding his face.
“I mean before that. I just couldn’t focus on you or what you said to me because my head was full of my dad and his bullshit, even when I tried so hard to ignore it., and I didn't want to admit how stressful it is. I just wanted to figure out how to deal with it on my own. ”
“I’m sorry I didn’t notice…”
“Don’t.” Craig took a deep breath, and reached out to take Tweek's hand. It was soft, and warm, and felt right, as always. "If you didn't notice it's because I didn't want you to. That's all."
“You always notice when something happens to me. I want to be able to do that for you too. It's not fair that when I’m feeling anxious, you know exactly what to say, but when something like that happens to you, I just... assume things instead, and end up telling you that we should break up when I don't really want that.”
“Yeah. You almost gave me a heart attack.” Craig nodded his head gently, before looking at him. He didn’t really want to ask, but he knew he had to. "Were you…? Were you really going to break up with me?"
"Ngh… No? I mean, yeah, but I didn’t want to.” Shit. “I-I just thought it was the most, agh , logical choice to help.” Tweek said, tugging his hair with his free hand. He was getting nervous again. “I know I'm a bit of a handful, so I wasn't going to blame you if you were suddenly tired of me."
"Have I ever given you that impression?" he asked, watching him shake his head. "Next time you can ask me directly, ” That should avoid confussions. “but I warn you the answer will always be 'no'."
“You could have asked me too.” he said. Craig seemed confused. “You could’ve asked me if I wanted to go to that Men’s Day thing with you.” Tweek said, pursing his lips slightly. “I would’ve said yes, you know?”
“Why would you do that? Trust me, you don’t want to bear my dad for a whole day. It’s bulltshit.”
“Yeah, but at least I could’ve gone with you so you didn’t have to bear that bullshit all on your own.” he said with a shrug. “ We could’ve ignored him together.”
Craig did not respond. He knew Tweek was right. Maybe they would have saved themselves a lot of confusion if he had just told him about all this earlier, but at least he was glad to be doing it now. It was like taking a huge weight off his shoulders instead of just pretending it wasn't there.
They both remained in a more comfortable silence, still holding hands with the only background sound being Craig's wall clock, whose hands made a little tick, tick, tick.
“Do you always feel like you have to be a good boyfriend?” Tweek suddenly asked.
“Huh?”
“You said that before. Do you always feel that way? Like you always have to be totally good and always be there for me? For my sake?” Did Craig always feel that way? “I’m not helpless, you know?”
Craig sighed, gently pulling his blue chulo over his head so he could cover his eyes, and that way it would be less embarrassing to face that question.
“I feel like I should be perfect for you, but not because I think you’re helpless or something.” he replied, speaking a little quieter than usual. “It’s just because I want to, and because I think that’s what you deserve.”
“Deserve what? Perfection?” Tweek doubted, and Craig nodded. “That’s so stupid.” Ouch.
“Gee. Thanks, dude.”
“I-I mean…I don’t need you to be perfect all the time or something. You have your own life and problems, and you shouldn't put too much pressure on yourself just because of perfection.” Tweek said. He wasn’t exactly perfect , after all. “I just want you to be you, Craig. I like the way you are.”
Craig felt his heart melt, but tried not to make it so obvious. He smiled a bit.
“You are so gay.” he said, and Tweek felt himself blushing.
“S-Shut up. You ’re gay.”
“Yeah, I know.” Craig replied, and Tweek couldn’t help but hold back a small laugh. “ Jesus. Stop that.”
“I didn’t do anything!”
“You did. You’re being you again.”
“I’m always me, stupid.”
“Exactly. How am I not supposed to want to try to be perfect?”
Even if Craig had his eyes covered, Tweek looked at the opposite of him, embarrased. “Since when do you say such cheesy and embarrassing things, man?”
”Since you almost broke up with me.” Craig arranged the blue chulo over his head so he could see.“I have to make sure you won't think of anything like that again.”
“Maybe I will, if you keep being so corny.” he replied jokingly. Now that he knew Craig didn’t want them to break up, Tweek felt more relaxed. At least a little bit.
“It’s your fault.” he said, clinging tighter to their hands and lifting it up slightly to leave a small kiss at the back of Tweek’s hand, feeling him flinch. “See?”
“You're doing it on purpose…” He muttered, and Craig smiled, looking at their hands again.
“Thank you, Tweek. I feel better now that you know about all this.” Taking a deep breath, Craig closed his eyes for a little bit. “Now I just need to find a way to get my dad off my back.”
“Oh, right…” Tweek sighed. He wasn’t really sure how exactly he could help with that part. “I don’t know… I don’t even get why people think that because you're gay you're less of a man…”
“Or that one of us should be more of a man than the other.” Craig sighed. “It’s so stupid. I don’t want to pretend to be more manly just for my dad to leave me alone. I couldn’t even try.”
“Then, what are you gonna do?” Tweek looked at him. “What can you do?”
Craig looked at Tweek, who was looking him in the eye. God, how had he never let himself be listened to and comforted like this? It felt so good to know that in that whole stupid town there would always be someone willing to have his back, and that someone was Tweek. How was it possible to be so stupidly in love with someone? It was one of those great mysteries that, hopefully, Craig would one day figure out.
He thought briefly about that question he had asked Tweek so many times in order to help him cope with his problems. It was the first time he had to answer it, so he tried to think as best he could.
What can you do?
“... I could paint my nails black.” he finally said.
Tweek looked at him, and then he looked at Craig’s nails. Uhm, what?
“O-Okay…” Craig was definitely the King of Unexpected Answers, but Tweek wanted to be the supportive one this time. “But what would your dad say?”
“It would give him actual reasons to think I’m a sissy, but I don’t really care anymore. Maybe that’s exactly what he needs.” If you can’t fight them, join them. Or something like that. “And it’d look cool on me.”
“I guess so.” Tweek tried to imagine it, and yeah, it would look cool. Craig could make everything look cool, actually. “...I could paint them for you.”
“Really?” Craig smiled, and Tweek had that weird feeling in his chest again.
“Y-Yeah. Sometimes, my mom makes me paint her right hand’s nails. And she used to paint mine when I was little, just for a little bit. It was like a game.”
“Let me guess. She thinks that maybe that’s why you’re gay now.”
“I mean… kind of. But I’m pretty good at it.” Tweek said, and then he frowned. “Painting nails, not being gay.”
“I don’t know. I’d say you’re pretty good at being gay too.” he teased him. Tweek snorted. “Now we just need nail polish.”
“Yeah. Do you want to ask your mom?”
“No. My sister must have some in her room. I’ll go get it.”
Tweek nodded, and took a deep breath as Craig left the room.
He wasn't sure if this was the normal way to "talk about things" but at least everything seemed to be better. No more Buddha Box, no more being afraid to talk about things, no more isolating himself without explanation. It felt good to understand Craig better, and also the feeling of being able to do something that made him feel better, even if it was something as trivial as simply painting nails.
He waited patiently until Craig was back with the nail polish.
“Can you believe she had only pink? Not even blue.”
“Did you take it?”
“No. I don't want to look that much of a sissy.” he said, before sitting back down on the carpet, facing Tweek, and leaving a black nail polish between them. "I took this one from my mom's purse. I don't think she’ll notice."
“Okay. Are you sure?”
“Yeah, whatever.” He shrugged. “Worst case scenario, some kids at school will make fun of me. No big deal.”
Tweek didn’t like that idea. “They won’t. I can punch their stupid faces if they dare to.”
“Oh, then they'd better not. I still remember how much one of your punches hurt, honey.” Even if he didn't look like it, Tweek was pretty strong. He could easily kick anyone's ass. People were just lucky he was nice.
“I was thinking more, like, we could punch them together.”
“Oh, cool. More couples activities to the list.” Besides the Red Racer’s Saturdays. “I’m in. I haven’t been in detention in a while.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I think the last time was a little bit before we started dating. My mom is really happy about it.” he said, watching how Tweek carefully opened the nail polish.
“So I’m a good influence.” Tweek said, not looking at him.
“I guess? I mean, before dating it didn’t really matter to get detention, but now extra hours at school means extra hours without hanging out with you, so it’s not really worth it.”
“... Give me your hand.” Tweek mumbled, and Craig knew he was probably thinking: So cheesy.
Craig knew he was cheesy, but it was because of Tweek. Everything was because of Tweek, which was kinda crazy, considering they’ve been dating since they were ten years old. He should be over the whole “lovey-dovey cheesy” phase of a relationship, but he couldn’t help it. And yeah, sometimes he did it on purpose just because of how pretty Tweek was when he got all embarrassed.
But, better than a Tweek stuttering and embarrassed, was a Tweek talking about some crazy thing he loves, or being totally focused on a task, like this moment: He was painting Craig's nails with the utmost delicacy, never flinching or missing a single millimeter. Craig could feel Tweek's soft breathing close to his hand, and it was possible that the blond boy was too focused on his task to notice the way he was looking at him, or well, admiring him, from the tips of his messy hair to the infinitely pretty freckles scattered on his face.
“So… You used to do this with your mom?” he asked, just because remaining silent was not a good idea.
“Yeah… She really likes makeup, and she always asked for my advice when I was little, probably because my dad only wanted to talk about coffee” he said, still focused on his right hand. “So my mom would even let me pick out her dresses when she had to go out with him, and I watched her put on her makeup. It was always way too much, but the eyeliner seemed cool.”
“Eyeliner?”
“Yeah, I asked her if I could put on some once, just for a little bit.” he remembered. He never mentioned that to anyone because he didn’t want people to make fun of him, but Craig seemed surprised and, crap , maybe Tweek said too much. “I-Is it weird? You can’t break up with me now if it’s too weird. No refunds.”
“What? No, it’s just…” he sighed, smiling a bit, before taking something out of his pocket with his left hand. “Look.”
It was a black eyeliner.
“Huh?”
“It was in my mom’s purse. I've seen some guys on TV wearing it, and also rock stars, and I thought maybe I could....” he trailed off. He was gonna tell Tweek after he finished painting his nails, but now... “I don't know, maybe it would look cool. How did little Tweek look with it?”
Tweek snorted, now taking his left hand to paint his nails.
“Like a baby goth kid.” His mom sure had a picture of the occasion.
“I don't buy it. You’re the exact opposite of a goth kid.” Tweek was like the sun in the Summer’s hottest day, and not because it was only extremely bright, but because it was practically impossible to not acknowledge.
... What? God, Craig, shut up. You’re embarrassing the gays in the world.
Tweek looked at him. “So… you wanna use eyeliner too?”
“You think it’s too much?”
“No, but… I’m not sure how to put it, and I don’t want to make you look like a panda.”
Craig smiled a bit. “It's okay, babe. We can do it by trial and error.”
Tweek tried to imagine Craig with the eyeliner, and the nails black and he just… He felt like this weird twist on his stomach and the heat on his cheeks because he wasn’t sure if he was mentally prepared for it. He wasn't even sure how they ended up in this scenario, actually.
It was as he felt a tingle in his hand that Craig came back to the moment and noticed that Tweek was gently blowing on her nails to help the nail polish dry faster, and he couldn't help but stare at his pretty freckles at having him so close, and Tweek noticed, because he immediately looked at him, somewhat self-consciously.
“What?”
“What what?”
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
"Because I love looking at you." he said, and Tweek tried to act like that didn't make him blush. "And because you look extra pretty when you're so focused and calm. I like seeing you like this."
"It's just because I’m here." mused Tweek. "I don't know. I always feel calm when you're with me, except when..."
"I put a cardboard box on my head and ignore you, I know." Craig interrupted him, a slight smile on his lips. "I already said I'm sorry. Are you still upset about that?"
"Just a little bit." he said without looking at him.
Craig sighed, and used his free hand to gently touch Tweek's chin and lift his head to look up at him. God, he was so cute. Craig just wanted to drop a little kiss on his nose and hug him, but he tried to act cool, because Tweek was probably just thinking about wanting to clear up the whole Buddha Box misunderstanding completely.
"What can I do to make it up to you?"
"Nothing. I mean, I'm still a little tense about everything that happened, but... I'll be fine. I just need to process the scare correctly."
"You were scared?"
"Yeah. I was afraid we might break up. I didn't want that, even if... if I was willing to do it for you. I thought it would help you that way. " he confessed, a little embarrassed. "And I'm upset with Cartman and the cardboard boxes, I don't know."
"I'm totally willing to kick his ass, if that's what you want." Tweek just shaked his head, though wouldn’t mind seeing Cartman with his ass kicked every now and then. “Is there anything else you want to talk about? I mean, if you feel… not sure about something.” Crap, Craig wasn’t exactly good with this type of communication. “I said everything I wanted to. Did you?”
“I’m okay. I just… uhm… I was stressed out because of this during the whole week and, I don’t know, I just realized how used I am to this. To us.” he said, closing the nail polish. “It’s kinda stupid, sorry.”
“It is not. Nothing you care about can be stupid, okay?” Tweek nodded again. “Great. Now, close your eyes.”
“Huh?”
Craig took the eyeliner. “I can’t stop thinking about it since you mentioned it, so I need to see you using this thing.”
“Hey, wait…”
“I’ll be careful. Just five minutes and then you can take it off. I’m just way too curious now.”
Tweek wanted to say no, but not because he really didn’t want to use the eyeliner. The first time he used it and looked at himself in the mirror he felt… cool, and kinda pretty. He liked it a lot, but that was some time ago, and the idea of using it now was a little bit embarrassing, but Craig had his nails painted and… Well, it looked awesome. Tweek wanted to look awesome too.
“Ugh, o-okay...” he closed his eyes a little too hard, because Craig chuckled.
“Dude, relax. I’m not gonna ruin your face, trust me.” he said, and Tweek seemed to relax a little. Now Craig was the only one kind of nervous because, shit, he needed to stay calm and have a steady hand if he wanted to do this right.
He took Tweek’s chin in one of his hands to keep his head steady, looking at his pretty eyelashes and, god, focus, Craig. He took the eyeliner and slowly and calmly started his work, not wanting to mess it up. He could see his nails painted in black and couldn’t help but think Tweek did an amazing job with them. He needed to tell him that later, and a thank you, of course.
Tweek tugged his hands in his pants when he felt Craig’s breath being so close to his face. He didn’t want to say anything, but it was ticklish, so he tried to focus on not moving. Just breathe deep and calm.
“Shit.” Craig mumbled, and Tweek thought he may have messed it up.
“What?”
“Nothing. Stay still.” he said, now doing the other eye. “Man, this is way harder than I thought.”
“We should’ve asked your sister to do it.”
“No way. She’s not allowed in my room when you’re visiting.”
“What? Why not?”
“She likes you way too much, but I don’t like sharing my time with you.” Tweek was about to respond, when he stopped feeling Craig’s hand on his face. “Okay, I think I’m done.”
“That was way too quick.” Tweek opened his eyes, looking at Craig. “There, are you happy now?”
Oh, Craig was more than happy. He had to take a couple of seconds to properly take in the boy in front of him, because if Tweek had always seemed cute to him, now that his big, beautiful green eyes stood out more thanks to the eyeliner, he felt like there weren’t enough words to describe the whirlwind of weird, gay emotions that made his stomach churn.
Craig was pleased, fascinated, surprised and so… so stupidly in love that he couldn’t even take the time to feel ashamed.
Suddenly, he felt Tweek's hand pushing his face, with a grunt.
"Stop looking at me like that! It's embarrassing."
"Oh, right. Sorry, you just... " Craig took Tweek's hand, giving it a light squeeze. "I'm just happy, that's all."
"It's just eyeliner..." Tweek pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened the front camera so he could see himself. "Oh... It looks pretty good."
"Why do you sound so surprised? I did my best." Craig said, letting out a light chuckle as he sat down next to him so they could both see themselves on camera. "You look beautiful."
"Tha-Thanks... You look pretty okay yourself." Tweek said, and Craig raised his hand in front of the camera to see his nails in the frame, lifting his chin slightly.
Tweek noticed something. "Hey, the nail polish didn't dry properly." he said, putting down the phone and taking Craig's hand again, frowning.
"Yeah, I noticed it while I was putting eyeliner on you. Did I ruin it?"
"No, it's okay. It happens to my mom all the time." he took the nail polish again so he could fix it.
Craig waited patiently as he watched Tweek take care of his nails. He took those seconds to admire him for the hundredth time that day and briefly reflected on how terrifying the slightest possibility of breaking off their relationship had been, and how much he didn't want that to happen. Ever. And when Tweek began to gently blow the polish on his nails, Craig had to look away for a moment, as well as certain thoughts.
Tweek was too focused to notice the way Craig was looking at him, and that was good, because otherwise, he might have been embarrassed enough to walk away and pretend he hadn't noticed anything. Craig loved having him close, and Tweek fell for that when the hand he was holding slipped from his grip to end up on his chin, and when he looked up in confusion, all he felt were Craig's lips on his.
Tweek held back a squeal of surprise, because... yes, the kissing thing used to be by surprise, since when Craig used to ask his permission for it, Tweek's brain took a few minutes to process the information and give an affirmative answer, but Craig couldn't wait this time. Well, since he was so polite about affirmative consent, Craig had asked a while back if he could suddenly kiss Tweek on special occasions, and the other boy had said yes, though he didn't know if this one counted as special. Maybe it did.
For a boy who had spent the last few days isolated from the world and with a box on his head, Craig seemed to have remembered dental hygiene, because his lips tasted slightly minty sweet, and Tweek had to place one hand on the ground to support his own weight when he felt himself losing his balance, while his other hand ended up on Craig's neck, holding on.
Craig pulled away after a few seconds, looking him in the eyes, and Tweek felt like he was going to die.
"Y-You're going to ruin the nail polish again." he mumbled.
"Does it matter?"
Tweek looked at Craig's lips for a second.
"No, not really."
"Good." he said, before kissing him again, and this time Tweek was more willing to respond.
The first time they kissed was five months into dating. It was just an innocent action and more out of curiosity, but it felt ticklish and nice for both of them, and now a better word to describe it would be "right." It felt too right, like they had found their place in the world, side by side. Fuck any adult who said they were just kids barely learning about love.
Not quite sure how, Tweek ended up lying on the floor with Craig on top of him as they continued to kiss. They were light, soft kisses that tingled on his lips and fluttered on his chest, and Craig's parents could knock on the door at any moment and turn that ticklish moment into an extremely embarrassing one, but Tweek didn't care, and he even thought this was maybe the best Red Racer Saturday ever, not just because of the kissing, or clearing up the misunderstanding or not having broken up their relationship, but because Tweek felt like he and Craig understood each other a little more and a little better on a new level, and that was always a reason to be happy.
After so long, Tweek knew almost everything about Craig, and Craig knew almost everything about Tweek, but it was never too late to learn new things about their relationship, something they could explore, something they could improve, or something they could understand. That was amazing, and sometimes scary, but at least this time they had learned that there would be nothing scarier than the possibility of not being together.
Tweek felt a little braver with each little kiss, and he wrapped his arms around Craig's shoulders, smiling slightly when he heard him laugh softly, before placing a small kiss on his nose.
"Craig, Mom says..." they both pulled away immediately, noticing Tricia peeking through the bedroom door, stopping abruptly at the sight of them.
"Gaaah!" was the next thing Craig heard, before he felt a shove that sent him backwards onto the ground, at the same time as Tweek sat up.
"Ow! Dude!" Craig sat up as well, before looking at his sister as if he wished he was an only child. That usually happened from time to time. "What?"
"... Are you guys making a baby?” she asked innocently, and Tweek lowered his head, extremely embarrassed.
"Get out."
"Fine, but mom says lunch will be ready in ten minutes.” she sighed. “God, I can't wait for you two to get married and have a baby." they both heard her say as she was closing the door. "I know I’d be such a cool aunt…"
When the door closed, Tweek dropped dramatically to the floor again, arms and legs outstretched, expecting to die suddenly from embarrassment. Yeah, he cared now.
"Are you all right, honey?" Craig asked.
"Too much has happened in just one day. A near breakup, wearing nail polish and eyeliner, finding out your dad is being a jerk, not intentionally, and your sister walking on us while we kiss just to say she wants us to have a baby" Tweek said, hearing him laugh. "And all that just because I came all this way because you stood me up."
"Yeah..."
"Having the initiative for things is really exhausting. I don't know how you do it all the time."
Craig lay down next to him, and reached out to take Tweek's hand as they both looked up at the ceiling. There were fluorecent star stickers, the kind that glowed in the night. Tweek had given them to Craig a few months ago as a gift.
"Neither do I, but I'm proud of you. You did great."
"I'm not sure I did."
"Trust me. I might still have that box in my head if you hadn't come to my house to scare the shit out of me with the idea of breaking up with me ." he said, before bringing the hand holding Tweek's to his chest. "See? My heart is still beating fast from the scare."
Tweek could feel it, and he sighed.
"What do you think the lesson was this time?" he asked. Craig looked at him, confused. "Every time we fight about something and make up, I feel like we must have learned something."
"Well... I learned that I like you. I mean, I already knew that, but I like you a lot more than I thought possible." he said calmly. Tweek nodded softly, too much at ease to let himself be embarrassed. "And also to never pay attention to any more bullshit coming out of Cartman's mouth again."
"Good."
"What about you?" he wanted to know, and Tweek thought about it.
Just for a second, because he felt better, like everything was right again, and he loved that.
"When it comes to us, I learned that there's always something I can do." he gently turned his head to look at Craig, "Like this."
And then he kissed him, and Craig felt it too.
Everything was perfect.