Archive of Our Own

When the heavens opened just before Wei Ying’s train reached the station closest to Lan Zhan’s house, it felt like the last insult. She just wanted to sit and cry, staring out of the train window, thinking about the warm, hooded coat she hadn’t been able to pick up before she left.

The train pulled into the station and Wei Ying dragged her rucksack onto her back. It was too heavy, too crammed full, while not even coming close to carrying anything that she really needed. Like a place to sleep.

Wei Ying knew that the sun was setting as she left the train, but the blanket of dark clouds made it seem darker. She wished she had her phone again, to make sure she had remembered the direction towards Lan Zhan’s address, then stepped out of the station and started trudging in the rain. There were no taxis out here. Just a couple of miles walk to the country place that Lan Zhan lived in now. The house she had moved to last year, announcing it out of nowhere.

When Wei Ying finally reached the oversized gates to Lan Zhan’s place, she was soaked to her skin and shivering. There was no name or number to be seen, but Wei Ying recognised it from the photos she had made Lan Zhan show her, even while she had been lamenting losing her best friend to the back country, never to be seen again.

For a second Wei Ying worried that the gates might be locked. She had no idea what she would do if they were. They were nowhere near the actual house, if Wei Ying remembered right. But when she leaned on them, too tired to push with her arms, the gates thankfully gave way.

Inside, the grounds were just like in the photo - thick with plants, lush in the pouring rain. Lan Zhan had spoken of her plans to grow food, to become as self-sufficient as she could. Looking at how much space there was and how the various plants seemed to be thriving, Wei Ying didn’t doubt that Lan Zhan had managed it.

Wei Ying followed the winding paths until the house came into view. It was a renovated courtyard house, very fashionable now. Instead of most of the walls, the house had sliding glass doors and floor-to-ceiling windows. Wei Ying had marvelled at the fact that you could slide a door open at almost any part of the house to be out on the wide veranda that circled it. She had imagined how lovely it could feel to do that, so the outside felt like just an extension of the house.

Now, lights on against the dark and rain, the house glowed like the beacon of hope it was for Wei Ying. If Lan Zhan would just let her stay, even for a few days. A few days and she could figure something out. She had no idea what, but surely she would when she had a chance to think.

She felt almost drunk as she walked the remaining distance to the house. Finally making it under the roof of the veranda weirdly made her feel even more soaked than when she was still being rained on. Wei Ying got to the door and reached out a shivering hand to knock. She wrapped her arms around herself and waited.

When Lan Zhan eventually opened the door, Wei Ying burst into wracking sobs.

Wei Ying stepped out of the shower and onto the soft mat that Lan Zhan had put down for her. There was also a towel and some warm-looking clothes.

Lan Zhan hadn’t even seemed to bat an eyelid with Wei Ying turning up on her doorstep, drenched and bawling. She had pulled Wei Ying into a hug, soaking herself at the same time. She had dried Wei Ying’s tears with her sleeve and hadn’t asked her any questions, just led her to her spare room and offered up the bathroom and bed. Thinking about Lan Zhan’s immediate acceptance of her presence made her want to cry again.

She dried her body, then scrubbed at her hair. She didn’t have the energy to blow it dry, but also didn’t want to drip water all over the comfy clothes Lan Zhan had provided. She could have pulled her own bed clothes out of the rucksack, but Lan Zhan’s were right there, freely offered. It made her feel welcome and warm inside. Surely Lan Zhan wouldn't give her clothes to wear if she was upset at Wei Ying just showing up?

As she turned to pick up the clothes, Wei Ying caught sight of herself in the full-length mirror. She closed her eyes, took a breath, then turned side-on.

Her bump was there. It wasn’t obvious, you wouldn’t notice it when she was dressed, but like this, naked, it was there. Where she used to have a slight softness, leading down to her mound, it was now firm with a rise. She laughed at herself. It was the same rise she had seen in the mirror that morning, prompting what had happened. It wasn’t like it would have disappeared, but so many other things had changed since then that part of her felt like maybe this should have too.

No, it was still there. Her baby. Growing inside her, making its presence known. She pulled on the comfy, warm clothes that Lan Zhan had provided for her and left the bathroom.

Wei Ying found Lan Zhan in the kitchen, tea ready to pour. Lan Zhan flashed that tiny smile, the one that Wei Ying liked best, and gestured for her to sit down.

“Are you hungry?” Lan Zhan asked.

Wei Ying shrugged. She was starving, but she knew Lan Zhan would already have eaten dinner.

Lan Zhan looked at her for a moment, then stood up. “I will make you something.”

Wei Ying reached out to catch Lan Zhan’s sleeve. “You don’t have to, jiejie, I’ll manage. Please, don’t put yourself out.”

Lan Zhan looked at her, then removed Wei Ying’s fingers from her sleeve, putting her hand on the table. “I will make you something.”

Wei Ying nodded, tears welling up again. She dashed them away with a fist, looking away. Lan Zhan had changed out of her wet top. Wei Ying didn’t want to douse another one tonight. She just had to get herself together. She hadn’t cried when Yu-ayi had made her leave. She hadn’t cried on the train. Why was she being so soppy now?

Lan Zhan pulled some baozi out of the fridge and spoke as she put them into her steamer. “You may stay as long as you like.”

Wei Ying sniffled. “You don’t mean that, Lan Zhan.” Lan Zhan cut her a look. “No, you don’t –” her breath hitched. “You don’t know what I did. You can’t –”

Lan Zhan walked over and took her chin, tilting it up so Wei Ying had to look at her. “Nevertheless, you may stay.”

Wei Ying shook her head. Lan Zhan didn’t know. She should tell her, but it seemed like so much on top of everything else. To tell Lan Zhan, who would be so disappointed in her. Her throat felt closed.

Lan Zhan stroked a hand through Wei Ying’s damp hair, more tactile than Wei Ying was used to. “We can talk about it tomorrow. But you can stay, you don’t have to worry about that.”

Wei Ying nodded, crying again. She would be a dried up husk by the time she was done.

The baozi were good. Wei Ying assumed that Lan Zhan must have made them ahead for a meal the next day, but once she started eating she couldn’t feel guilty about using them up. They were stuffed with vegetables and pork. There was no chilli oil to add, but Wei Ying didn’t care. She would never complain about Lan Zhan’s bland cooking ever again. She had never understood people who said, “The baby needed it,” but now she did. It felt like her whole body was leaning into taking the sustenance in, especially after the weeks of eating barely anything while she had been nauseous all day.

When she finally finished eating, Lan Zhan poured her more tie guan yin tea. Lan Zhan never drank it before bed, so she must have made some specifically for Wei Ying. Wei Ying didn’t prefer the flavour, but right then the soothing effect was welcome. She drank it as quickly as she could, careful not to burn her mouth.

Lan Zhan watched her the whole time. She had seated herself back at the table, leaning back into the chair. It was more open than Wei Ying had ever seen her in the city, where she would regularly correct Wei Ying’s posture. Now Lan Zhan held her teacup in two hands, having further relaxed the more Wei Ying ate.

When Wei Ying finished her tea, Lan Zhan nodded, like she had completed some task successfully. “You should get some sleep.”

It was too early to go to bed, but as soon as Lan Zhan said it, it was all Wei Ying wanted. When she had dumped her soaked backpack on the guest room floor, on a towel Lan Zhan put down, she had seen the guest bed. It looked so comfy, with muted blues and creams on the cloud-soft quilt and large pillows. It had looked like she could get lost in there, safe and cosy.

She sighed heavily and pushed to her feet. The dragging fatigue that had plagued her for weeks seemed to have subsided in the last ten days or so, but she still felt like she could sleep forever.

Lan Zhan stood up with her and escorted Wei Ying back to the guest bedroom. She got the bedside lamp on and waited while Wei Ying brushed her teeth. Then she held up the covers while Wei Ying climbed under them. She tucked them back down, making sure they were folded down nicely around Wei Ying.

Wei Ying reached out and took Lan Zhan’s hand. “Thank you, Lan Zhan.”

Lan Zhan smiled and squeezed Wei Ying’s hand. “No need for thanks between us.” It was something she had said before and it made Wei Ying smile back up at her. “Sleep well, Wei Ying.”

Wei Ying nodded, her head already sinking into the plush pillows. “Goodnight, Lan Zhan.”

Lan Zhan switched off the light, but left the door slightly ajar when she left, like she wanted to be able to check on Wei Ying in the night. It allowed some soft light into the room as she drifted off to sleep.

Wei Ying woke slowly, feeling like the whole world around her was mellow and vague. Time seemed suspended while she woke, until she remembered the day before and her stomach soured. She opened her eyes.

The light in Lan Zhan’s guest room was beautiful, bright despite the closed blinds. Of course, cream blinds weren’t exactly good for keeping the daylight out. Instead they just seemed to make it diffuse and soft.

She had no idea what time it was, but Wei Ying knew that Lan Zhan would be up already. She wanted to stay in bed and drift, but she really couldn’t put it off anymore. Lan Zhan had said she was free to stay, but she didn’t know. Wei Ying wasn’t alone; she had brought an unintended visitor with her.

Wei Ying visited the bathroom and brushed her teeth, grimacing at her reflection while she brushed. She thought back over her options for somewhere to live. A-jie was still living in Singapore while The Peacock’s job kept them there. They had talked about buying a house to come back to, but hadn’t done so yet. If only they had, Wei Ying could have offered to house-sit for them and had somewhere to stay at least until she had the baby, if not longer.

She considered Wen Qing. She and her brother had parted from the rest of the (terrible) Wens and gone to live with a minor branch of the family, who had very little money. Wei Ying was sure Wen Qing of all people would understand need and let her stay, just until she got on her feet, but Wei Ying would need to find her number or address from someone else. She took a moment to feel the ache of her missing phone again, then spat and rinsed. Maybe Lan Zhan would have a hidden laptop so she could email some people?

Wei Ying thought about getting dressed, but she knew she was just delaying the inevitable, and perversely wanted to stay in Lan Zhan’s comfy sleep clothes if she wasn’t going to be staying long. She may as well get as much comfort as she could while she could.

She checked the kitchen, but there was no Lan Zhan. There were various vegetables on the wide, wooden table, damp like they had just been washed. Wei Ying tried to identify them, but she wasn’t exactly a plant or vegetable expert.

The sliding doors out from the kitchen into the garden were open, a cool breeze cutting through the warmth from the bright morning sun. She stepped out onto the wide veranda, the sun-heated wooden decking warming her feet pleasantly. She spotted Lan Zhan, who was washing more vegetables under an outdoor tap. When she saw Wei Ying, she nodded a greeting.

Wei Ying leaned on the veranda railing and watched while Lan Zhan finished up, dumping the wet plants into a wicker basket set to the side. She hitched it up to her hip and made her way up to the veranda, placing the basket down and gesturing Wei Ying back inside.

“You seemed busy,” Wei Ying said, amused. She knew this was part of why Lan Zhan had moved out here, but hearing about it was different from seeing it. Lan Zhan, the person who had battled with her for top of their class, who had set the university alight with her bright, academic intelligence, moving out to the country to grow plants.

“Mn.” Lan Zhan doffed her scuffed-looking sandals at the door and padded barefoot across the cool kitchen tiles. “I wanted enough for us to eat, and I will be selling some too.”

Wei Ying’s eyebrows went up. “You grow enough to sell?”

Lan Zhan gave a one-sided shrug. “Some things. Other things I have to buy, like meat.”

Wei Ying grinned. “A proper trader, jiejie.”

Lan Zhan eyed her, looking amused. She was wearing a loose cotton t-shirt, tight at the sleeves. With a start, Wei Ying realised that she wasn’t wearing a bra. It wasn’t like Lan Zhan was large-chested to need to wear one all the time, but it still made her blush to notice. But then who would she need to wear one for? It was just Lan Zhan by herself, and now just Wei Ying, her best friend and also a girl. No bras needed, really. The thought felt freeing.

“Coffee?” Lan Zhan asked.

Wei Ying nodded, then remembered. “Uh, yes, but it will need to be decaf. Do you have any?”

Lan Zhan eyed her and Wei Ying looked away. She was, after all, the person who had said that decaf coffee was pointless. But since she shouldn’t have caffeine, she had found she still enjoyed drinking it.

“I do,” Lan Zhan just said, and set a coffee machine that Wei Ying hadn’t noticed to percolating.

Lan Zhan moved around the kitchen, pulling ingredients out of all sorts of different cupboards filled with various jars, pots, and pitchers. She made congee, which wasn’t Wei Ying’s favourite breakfast food, but it was quick to make and filling. She scraped the bottom of her bowl with relish.

When they had finished, Lan Zhan made Wei Ying sit while she washed up. Wei Ying cradled her second coffee and worried the nail on her thumb while she waited. They both knew that they needed to talk about why Wei Ying was there.

When Lan Zhan was done, she dried her hands on a tea towel and poured herself more tea from the pot. She sat down and looked at Wei Ying.

“I’m pregnant,” Wei Ying blurted out.

Lan Zhan blinked. “Pregnant?”

Wei Ying nodded, an almost frantic gesture. “I told the Jiangs yesterday and they, she –”

Lan Zhan nodded that she understood, lips tight. “She kicked you out.”

“And sacked me from the family business.” Wei Ying shook her head. “I don’t blame her really. I’m such a fuckup, bringing shame to the family, pregnant outside of marriage, no partner.” She put her mug down, then didn’t know what to do with her hands and picked it back up, avoiding Lan Zhan’s gaze. She didn’t want to see the judgement there. Lan Zhan had never liked Haoran.

“You are not a fuckup.” Lan Zhan’s voice was so fierce that Wei Ying’s head jerked back up. “You are not.”

Wei Ying smiled wanly at Lan Zhan’s insistence. She leaned back and rubbed her stomach. “This would say otherwise.”

Lan Zhan’s gaze softened as she looked down to Wei Ying’s belly. “How long?” Her voice was gentler too.

“Four months. I just started to really show, which is why I had to tell them.” She snorted. “It’s not like I could keep it a secret much longer.”

“And no partner?” Lan Zhan asked.

Wei Ying quirked her lips. So Lan Zhan had caught that, had she. “Yeah.” She tried to sound breezy. “Haoran wasn’t ready to be a dad, you know?”

From Lan Zhan’s scowl it was clear she wasn’t buying light and breezy. “He proves again that he is not worth your time. Yours, or the baby’s.”

Wei Ying blew out an ironic laugh. “Well, you were right about him after all.” They had argued about it. Not bitterly, but enough that Wei Ying had wondered if that had played a part in Lan Zhan deciding to move. She had also berated herself for thinking that she and her relationship was just that important to Lan Zhan.

Lan Zhan looked a little subdued and spoke in a low tone. “I didn’t want to be right.”

Wei Ying smiled sadly. “I know.” She continued to rub her tiny bump. “But hey, he had pretty good genetics though, right? So I just have to hope that being raised by me makes the difference in personality.” She laughed, trying to make it funny.

Lan Zhan looked at her intently again. “Wei Ying, you may stay here as long as you like.”

Wei Ying shook her head. “No, no, Lan Zhan, you moved here to get away from people. You don’t want me here disturbing your peace.” She rubbed at her belly.

Lan Zhan was looking at her with a piercing stare. “I didn’t –” She stopped and seemed to gather herself. “This is different.”

Wei Ying laughed, a bitter sound. “You don’t have to pity me, Lan Zhan.”

“I don’t,” Lan Zhan bit out. “You are my friend and I want you to stay.”

“You want me to stay?” Wei Ying repeated. Lan Zhan nodded. We Ying felt a pleased glow and fell back on her usual teasing. “Did you miss me, jiejie?”

Lan Zhan glared at her, but still nodded once. “I did.”

The pleased glow overflowed, stealing her teasing and making Wei Ying feel like she wanted to cry. “I missed you too. So much. I wanted to call you every day, but I didn’t want to bug you and make you think that I couldn’t—” Couldn’t manage without her. But she hadn’t really, had she. Exhibit A was under her hand. And Haoran had berated her often enough for ‘moping’ after Lan Zhan had left. She swallowed, pulling herself back to the topic. “It won’t just be me, though.” She gestured at her stomach. “In five months there will be a baby, crying, up all night.”

The small smile that Wei Ying always loved peeked onto Lan Zhan’s face. “Mn.”

Wei Ying sat back in surprise at the unexpected expression. “You want that? You want a baby in the house?”

“I like children,” Lan Zhan said, simply.

Wei Ying blew out a breath. “Okay, yeah, okay.” She nodded, smiled with relief. “So just until I get on my feet.”

Lan Zhan frowned at that. “Wei Ying, you can stay. For good, if you want. You and the baby.”

Wei Ying looked at Lan Zhan for what felt like an age, then started to laugh. She threw back her head. “Well! Fucking hell!” She looked at Lan Zhan, still shocked, but trusting that Lan Zhan had no poker face. If she said it, it was because she was genuinely happy at the idea. She held out a hand to Lan Zhan across the table. “Hey, Lan Zhan, wanna raise a baby with me?”

Lan Zhan ducked her head, the way she always did when she was laughing, like it was something to hide. But she still looked up and caught Wei Ying’s eyes. “I do.”

It felt like her world, tilted upside down since the day before, had righted itself. She didn’t need to find somewhere else to stay. She didn’t need to get that heavy backpack on again and take more trains to figure out something. Lan Zhan wanted her here, and wanted the baby here too. Not just out of pity, but because she liked children.

Her baby would get the most wonderful woman to help raise her. And even if Lan Zhan couldn’t cope with a tiny baby after all, she would still be there for Wei Ying. Surely between the two of them they could erase any trace of that pig Haoran, who had laughed when she’d told him about the baby. Laughed and claimed it couldn’t be his, that she must have been cheating on him like the low-class slut she was. Wei Ying had been inscensed; he knew that he was her first and only. But he had left her that day and blocked her, across all his social media and on his phone. Huaisang had called her two days later to ask if it was true that Haoran had dumped her for cheating on him, as he had been claiming across the internet.

But she could forget about him, about the mess he had made of her reputation. And she could stop worrying about being 25 with no job and no home. Because she could stay here, with Lan Zhan, the best person in the world.

They almost fought the first day. Wei Ying was tired after they had talked, but still got dressed and felt fully alive for the first time in weeks. She had presented herself outside to Lan Zhan and asked that she be put to work.

Lan Zhan had looked at her horrified, like she had just offered to perform an animal sacrifice. “No, Wei Ying, you don’t need to do anything. You should rest.”

Wei Ying had been deeply affronted, and Lan Zhan had been stubborn about taking care of Wei Ying and the baby. They had finally compromised on Wei Ying helping only with tasks that didn’t require any lifting or much stretching. Lan Zhan had still looked displeased, but Wei Ying had reminded her that she was not made of spun glass.

It was why Wei Ying ended up sitting cross-legged in a plot of dirt while she happily made rows with her fingers and planted seeds, watering them and talking to them about how lovely their life would be, full of Lan Zhan’s beautiful garden and sunshine. She felt a little like the plants herself, having tumbled into having a comfy, warm bed with Lan Zhan to take care of her.

She talked to the baby, too. It was something she had started when she had found out, but stopped when Haoran had reacted so poorly. Now she told the baby about Lan Zhan and how lucky they were. Occasional happy, fat tears rolled down her cheeks and plinked into the dirt. She made jokes to the seeds about how she was helping them grow.

Wei Ying was almost finished with seeding the two wide plots Lan Zhan had assigned to her when she heard Lan Zhan approaching and looked around.

“Do you want to come to the market with me?” Lan Zhan had a large wicker basket slung on her back, the woven straps pressing into her shoulders.

Wei Ying pushed to her feet. “Um, I don’t know.” She followed Lan Zhan as she made her way through the garden to a driveway that she hadn’t even known existed. She really should explore if this was going to be her new home.

The driveway had been cut into a slope that went under the house, where a large basement had been created. Lan Zhan had a black Ruiqi pickup, one that looked pretty new, and a dark blue moped parked next to it. She stopped and turned to raise her eyebrows at Wei Ying.

“Uh.” She didn’t really want to go anywhere. Yesterday had been so horrible, suddenly homeless, scrambling to get to Lan Zhan’s and feel safe. Somehow she didn’t want to leave right now, even to go with Lan Zhan and be nosy at the market.

Lan Zhan tilted her head. “You can stay here.”

Wei Ying let out a breath. “You’re sure?”

“Of course.” Lan Zhan picked up some keys off a hook on the wall, hanging next to some very neatly stored tools and what looked like a spare helmet. Another was hanging off the moped handlebars.

Lan Zhan perched on the moped, the basket still balanced on her back, but also resting on the passenger seat behind her. Clearly she had been planning to take the truck if Wei Ying was joining her. Wei Ying wanted to feel helpful so she grabbed the helmet and unfastened it, handing it to Lan Zhan when she was settled. She could see the benefit of Lan Zhan’s shorter hair from the ease with which she pulled the helmet on.

Wei Ying stepped back to allow Lan Zhan to set off safely, but before she left she lifted up the face-plate on the helmet and looked at Wei Ying.

“Please make yourself comfortable while I’m gone. This is your home now.”

Wei Ying let out an undignified giggle, feeling almost guilty, like Lan Zhan could see her plans to explore and find out what other secrets the house had. “Okay. But don’t blame me if I find all of the secret rooms that you keep your ex-boyfriends in.”

Lan Zhan rolled her eyes, then started the moped. She waved, then set off, climbing the slope out of the garage slowly. Wei Ying jogged after her and helped open the well-hidden gates, even bigger than the ones she had come in through last night. Then she waved again as Lan Zhan putted up the road.

She closed the gates back over and leaned against them, almost giddy with anticipation. First she wanted to know what else was in the basement and where it came up into the house. Granted she had only really seen the kitchen and the guest room, but it felt like hunting for a secret passageway.

The garage was as she had seen; neat and well-ordered. Even the tiny drawers for little fiddly things were all labelled, making Wei Ying grin. She had spotted an archway through to somewhere else, however, and quickly succumbed to her curiosity.

It was dark through the archway, but Wei Ying easily found the light switches, flicking them and bathing the room in soft, yellow light. When the basement had been put in there had been spotlights set up on the floor around the edges, and in the ceiling. It looked like a storeroom, pretty straightforward, but the lighting made it seem more magical. There were barrels, pots on shelves, baskets, and boxes. Wei Ying presumed this was where Lan Zhan stored and pickled foods for later. She took a moment to consider how retreating to country living was easy for those with enough money. But then she couldn’t complain when she was benefiting from it too.

There was another archway into a much smaller room, this one with bottles of varying colour glass. She looked closer and everything was labelled too. There were also some purchased bottles of baijiu. Wei Ying looked at them sadly for a moment, then continued on. After the baby she could drink all she wanted.

The steps upstairs were also well lit. It was the opposite of those basements in horror films, where every shadow seemed to loom. This was beautifully lit to feel like a grotto, like something you would find fairies in.

She climbed the stairs and pushed open the wooden door at the top to find herself in the hallway next to the main living room. When she closed the door again it settled neatly back into place, but was still plainly visible as a door. So not a secret passageway after all.

Wei Ying hadn’t been into the living room, so she pushed open the wide, sliding doors. It was breathtaking. It seemed to take up most of the back portion of the house, framed by the same floor-to-ceiling sliding glass doors to the outside, overlooking another part of the veranda and the garden. It was like something out of a magazine. There was a brazier, not currently lit, and wide sofas either side. There were multiple places you could sit and enjoy the view, or read, or sit with tea and enjoy your peace.

The floor was wooden, wide and textured, with soft rugs that felt like clouds to walk on. Wei Ying imagined a baby crawling around the room and could picture it so easily. It was clean and welcoming. There was even a corner that would easily accommodate a toy chest. Her chest felt overflowing at the beauty of the home Lan Zhan was apparently just giving to her. She had been stunned by the large kitchen, but this was almost too much to accept.

She was used to the excesses of the rich, but this house was different. The Jiangs' house, the house she grew up in and lived in until yesterday, was modern and classy. The furniture was sleek, minimalist, and designed to convey taste. This, however, was country living for the rich. Everything was comfortable, soft, but still in matching hues of cream, beige, blue. Still of a quality that spoke of wealth.

Wei Ying sat down heavily on one of the sofas, shoving a cushion behind her back for support. Before yesterday, she had never really questioned the wealth she had grown up around. Sure, she had been grateful for the Jiangs finding her and bringing her in, but she had worked hard every day to pay them back. She had done the degree they had wanted her to, joined the family business, worked all hours to ensure it was successful and that Jiang Cheng would have a thriving company to take over when it was time.

And of course she had pissed off Yu-ayi. Sometimes for things she had done, and sometimes to take the blame off Yanli or Jiang Cheng. When she had summoned the courage to tell them about the baby, she had anticipated the anger, the disappointment, the criticism. She had never, ever anticipated this. Being kicked out, being stripped of her job, her family, her home. Her support. Even as Yu-ayi had said it, had thrown every insult at her and claimed she was no longer welcome in the house, Wei Ying had been sure that it would be one of those things where Jiang-shushu would override her. There would be arguments for days about it, Wei Ying feeling guilty for coming between them again, but it would pass.

He hadn’t done it, though. Jiang-shushu had looked at her like she had done something far worse than accidentally get pregnant before being married. He looked horrified in a way she couldn’t understand, then left the room. Left her to Yu-ayi, for her to kick Wei Ying out. Even Jiang Cheng, who had clearly been listening at the doorway, had given up the pretence and confronted her while she shoved as much stuff as she could into her rucksack in the ten minutes Yu-ayi gave her.

“Is it true?” He had asked. “What Haoran’s saying about you?”

She had felt bitter and sick. Was Jiang Cheng really asking her that? He was her brother, didn’t he know her?

She had barked out a bitter laugh. “Of course.” She let her sarcasm twist her words, but Jiang Cheng hadn’t seemed to hear it.

“Then you deserve this,” he’d said.

Wei Ying looked at him for a few seconds. “A-Cheng –” She reached towards him, stunned that he believed the lies, but he had shaken her away and stalked out, leaving her with Yu-ayi.

And just like that, everything she thought she could rely on was gone.

Except. Lan Zhan. She had been pushed from a plane with no warning, but Lan Zhan was her parachute. Lan Zhan was the wide, soft landing set out to catch her. She pushed away the un-filial bitterness and focused on that. She would make sure that Lan Zhan didn’t regret it.

Wei Ying swung herself up into the passenger seat of the pickup truck. It was high enough up that she liked it, looking down on everything around her. There was something weirdly pleasing about being in very high or very low vehicles. She didn’t know where that came from.

Lan Zhan closed the door for her so she wouldn’t have to reach out to it. Then she circled in front of the truck and climbed in on her side. Wei Ying almost bounced in her seat, excited to go out and see some of the small village that was now her closest neighbour. They had found a wonderful routine together. But Wei Ying hadn’t realised how tired and worn down she had been until she could sleep as much as she wanted, and spend days just helping to work on whatever Lan Zhan was doing.

However, a month of self-imposed isolation had circled from peaceful and healing into too much for Wei Ying. The house and the wide lands and gardens were beautiful, but now she wanted some hubbub around her, if even for an afternoon.

It felt slightly a shame that they weren’t taking the moped. She liked the thought of clinging on behind Lan Zhan, the big wicker basket on her own back as they wove along the roads. But a sharp look from Lan Zhan had put paid to that idea. It probably wouldn’t have worked as well anyway, with her belly growing so fast. She was clearly pregnant now and so had chosen a flowy top to wear over a sleeveless top she had stolen from Lan Zhan. Her own clothes were mainly t-shirts for casualwear, but more and more lately she had preferred her arms to be bare.

Lan Zhan didn’t seem to mind her purloining her clothes, even though they did stretch obviously over her bump. The loose and flowy blouse she pulled over made her feel less conspicuous. Not that anyone from this remote village was likely to know that she wasn’t married, had no partner, and had a ruined online reputation.

The goods they were going to sell were strapped into the back of the truck. Lan Zhan hadn’t let her help carry them out, so Wei Ying had put herself in charge of making sure they didn’t rattle around in the back. She was pleased to hear nothing shifting as Lan Zhan steered the truck out onto the road.

Wei Ying had little idea of how far away the village was. She had seen it on the map when she had first input Lan Zhan’s new address into her phone more than a year ago, but distances on zoomed out maps didn’t tell her much. She had been more interested in how far it was from Shanghai and how long it would take to get between them to worry about the distance to the local village hub.

Everything seemed a little disconnected in Wei Ying’s mind until they passed the train station. She had walked the roads in the gloomy rain, head down and ploughing on. It was lovely to see it all in the bright sunshine. Trees and plants which had seemed oppressive and foreboding that night, now vivid and swaying in the light breeze.

She started to spot other houses dotted around, heralding the approach to the village, although Wei Ying still felt like they must be in the outskirts when Lan Zhan turned onto a road that had an archway half-way down and a series of stalls setting up beyond it, leading to the covered market. She exclaimed, sitting up and peering around at everything.

She saw Lan Zhan turn her head, amused at Wei Ying’s reaction. The village was small, but it seemed so full of character. The buildings were a mishmash of older, traditional buildings, some looking converted, some slightly dilapidated. Others were low-slung structures, more recent looking, interspersed with fancier buildings.

The people also seemed just as varied. Living in a city, she was used to seeing a range of people, from the very rich, to very poor, locals, foreigners, and more. In a small village she had thought that maybe the people would be all the same. She knew that her images were all from dramas or news reports, and it seemed that they hadn’t given a clear picture of how distinct the people were.

They pulled up at a spot next to another truck and Lan Zhan nodded at the man who was hefting large watermelons to a makeshift stall. They climbed out of the truck and people started to throng around them, clearly interested in what they had brought and each wanting to get in before anyone else did.

“What can I do?” Wei Ying asked, ready to be put to work.

Lan Zhan put a string bag into her hands and a clip of notes. “Go and buy some of our essentials.” There was a list pinned to the bag, making Wei Ying laugh.

“Okay, okay, I’ll get out of your hair.” She didn’t mind, really. She wanted to look around inside the market, to speak to people and feel like a part of the world again, despite how much she liked getting to have just her and Lan Zhan most of the time.

The market was busy, but not so much that it wasn’t easy to move around. Everywhere she looked there were goods of all kinds, produce and wares. She wanted to pore over everything, but she tried to stick to the list at least a little while things were still new. She should have plenty of time to get to know it all if this was going to be her local market.

Wei Ying did spot a stall selling wrap-around skirts that looked cool and comfortable. She couldn’t wear many of her fitted clothes anymore and these seemed perfect for adjusting around her growing figure. She haggled gleefully with the old ayi behind the stall to buy three, laughing when the woman claimed that Wei Ying was taking the food from her mouth with the price they settled on, but the glitter in her eyes showed how much she enjoyed the barter. She also slipped a fourth skirt into the bag she gave to Wei Ying, with a wink that made Wei Ying laugh again.

Wei Ying found rice being sold by a younger-looking woman with strong arms. She clearly needed them to haul the sacks she had in place. She looked at Wei Ying with a gleam in her eyes that Wei Ying didn’t quite understand.

“Can I help you, mei nü?” the woman asked when the man ahead of her lifted a sack of rice to his shoulder and moved off.

Wei Ying smiled wryly at the flattery. “Yes please.” She consulted the list to order the right amount of rice that Lan Zhan wanted.

The woman nodded and used a scoop to dish out and weigh the rice. “You’re new around here?”

Wei Ying nodded. “Yeah, I moved here recently, up the hill.” She pointed vaguely in the direction that she and Lan Zhan had come from.

The woman tilted her head like Wei Ying had said something particularly noteworthy. “Past the train station?” Wei Ying nodded and the woman smiled, a knowing look. “With Lan xiao jie?”

“Yes,” Wei Ying said, and the smile became a smirk.

The woman handed over the rice and took the payment, giving Wei Ying a once-over. “Lucky Lan xiao jie.”

Wei Ying felt slightly flustered, unsure why, but took the rice and continued on. When she looked back, the woman was looking after her, a smirk still on her face. Wei Ying shook her head, confused at the interaction. Maybe the woman and Lan Zhan were friends?

The man at a stall selling nuts was far less confusing, though he did tease her outrageously, offering her extra roasted peanuts if she would come home and marry his son. His wife, watching the whole thing with amusement, said she would happily have someone else around to help wash the clothes and feed the children.

Wei Ying spotted a stall with huge woks of tofu simmering. The woman manning the kettles had red knuckles and a slight stoop, but was quick enough to herd Wei Ying in and convince her to buy some for her and Lan Zhan to eat for lunch. There were smaller pans of different sauces and pickles to choose from. Wei Ying added a hot chilli one to her own and a soy garlic one to Lan Zhan’s. She hadn’t finished buying what they needed, but the tofu was served in deep bowls. She grabbed chopsticks and spoons, promising to bring them back, and headed straight back to Lan Zhan.

The little table Lan Zhan had brought was set up and covered in goods when Wei Ying approached. Lan Zhan was leaning back against the back of the truck, ignoring the chairs that she herself had made sure to pack. The patrons seemed to have settled down to a steady flow and Wei Ying easily slipped around to the back of the stall and handed over Lan Zhan’s tofu.

Lan Zhan raised her eyebrows. “Thank you.” She pulled out one of the chairs for Wei Ying to sit, then took the other herself. “Li-ayi got you, then?”

Wei Ying grinned. “It seems so.” She nodded at the bowls. “It’s tasty, though.”

“Mn,” Lan Zhan agreed.

They ate while Wei Ying talked about things she had seen, only interrupted by the occasional customer who Lan Zhan served like a pro, her stocks dwindling pretty quickly. When Wei Ying had finished her food, she showed the skirts to Lan Zhan, who nodded her approval at their comfort, and the logic of getting them as maternity wear.

When Lan Zhan finished eating, Wei Ying stretched. “I’ll head back in to get the rest.”

Lan Zhan stood up too. “I will join you.” At Wei Ying’s sound of surprise, Lan Zhan gestured at the stall. “Most of it has sold, and Wang shushu will watch over the rest.” She nodded at the watermelon man one stall over and he nodded back, reclined in his own chair and looking almost half asleep.

Going back into the market was even more fun with Lan Zhan along. Wei got to excitedly point things out and drag Lan Zhan to stalls by her wrist. Without even meaning to, Wei Ying ended up with a number of other items of clothing. Whenever she admired something, somehow, without her even noticing, Lan Zhan would get them for her, adding to the array of bags in her hands.

They passed by the stall selling rice with the strong-armed woman at one point, and the woman broke into a smirk again, for some reason.

“Lan xiao jie.” Her greeting to Lan Zhan seemed full of – something. A meaning Wei Ying didn’t quite get.

Lan Zhan raised her eyebrows and nodded at the woman, either not noticing the strange undertones, or ignoring them altogether. She placed a palm at the small of Wei Ying’s back and escorted her onwards.

Wei Ying almost didn’t stop at the stall of babywear. It wasn’t that she hadn’t noticed it, but somehow it felt forbidden. Like she wasn’t allowed to coo over tiny outfits anymore. But Lan Zhan stopped and raised one eyebrow, like she was asking if Wei Ying minded them stopping. It was all it took for her to fall on the stall like a starving woman.

“Look at this, Lan Zhan!” She held up a tiny red babygrow, embellished with gold, clearly meant for new year celebrations. She felt a complex roiling in her stomach; by next new year the baby would be with them and could possibly even wear something like it. It made it feel both more real and unreal at the same time.

Lan Zhan added it to a pile she was gathering and Wei Ying knew they would be taking home a collection of baby clothes. She flushed, feeling her heart speeding up. It was so – concrete. Real. Tangible. There would be a small person who would wear those clothes.

The ayi behind the stall talked quite a lot while they browsed, pointing out more things, telling them how much they would need tiny mittens and hats, as well as terry cloths and towels. Wei Ying tried to rein it in a little, but the woman had clearly pegged Lan Zhan, who simply added things to the pile, causing them to walk away with three packed parcels of baby clothes.

When Wei Ying went to apologise, Lan Zhan cut her off, uncharacteristically. “We will come back for more another time.”

She looked so pleased that it settled Wei Ying’s nerves and she huffed a large sigh, letting out a tension she hadn’t even realised had crept into her shoulders. “Fine, fine. You get your way.”

She shot a small smile at Lan Zhan, who quirked her own tiny smile back.

By the time they made it home, the long, golden light of the evening was settling over everything. Wei Ying, denied the chance to help carry things into the house – and still throwing amused grumblings at Lan Zhan coddling her – started the watering of the plants, now that direct sunlight was off them.

She walked around, the hose set to a light spray. Lan Zhan said she over-watered, so she figured she’d do a very light dusting over everything, then Lan Zhan could add what she thought was necessary. The day had been exactly what she'd needed, but it had also been a little overwhelming. Lan Zhan belonged here. The house, the garden, the village, and everything, all fit around her like a comfortable overcoat. Wei Ying still felt like she was playacting. Like someone would suddenly point at her, shouting, “You don’t belong here!” and send her back to Shanghai.

Lan Zhan came up behind her and reached out for the hose, her chest pressing lightly against Wei Ying’s back and her broad palm skating down Wei Ying’s arm.

“You are watering that too much.”

Wei Ying laughed. “I thought I was just doing a gentle mist!” She happily relinquished the hose, sighing slightly when Lan Zhan moved away from her. “That was still too much?”

“For that plant,” she nodded at it, “yes.”

Wei Ying grinned and stretched out her back. “Fine, I’ll just watch you, then.”

Lan Zhan smiled that tiny smile at her again, the one Wei Ying liked best. “Good.”

“Good morning, Wei Ying.”

Lan Huan’s voice was a surprise, but Wei Ying grinned up at him and stretched out her back. “Huan-ge! What a lovely surprise!”

Lan Huan reached out a hand to help her up. She didn’t really need it; while her bump was definitely bigger, it wasn’t so cumbersome that she couldn’t stand. But it was polite to accept the offer and Wei Ying groaned as she unbent, realising she must have spent too much time in one position.

“I hadn’t mentioned to A-Zhan that I’d be coming over today.” He bent down to pick up the basket that Wei Ying had been about to grab. She smiled and gestured for him to lead the way. “She sent me to get you so we could have some tea.” He tilted his head back towards where they had come from. “What were you doing?”

“Oh, weeding. It’s the thing I’m best at; planting and weeding. Lan Zhan doesn’t let me water or prune because she says I don’t know when to stop.”

Lan Huan laughed. “She says the same to me. She says I have a black thumb.”

They were laughing as they reached the veranda, where Lan Zhan was waiting. Wei Ying was surprised to see that she looked annoyed and impatient, almost snatching the basket off Lan Huan and putting it aside, then turning to go in. Wei Ying gestured for Lan Huan to go in first, but he bowed and made her go in front of him.

The mood didn’t change with the tea either. Lan Zhan seemed almost snappy in her responses to questions Wei Ying couldn’t see any issue with. It was like she didn’t want Lan Huan there, even though Wei Ying knew that they were close.

Unsure why Lan Zhan was being so peevish, Wei Ying reached out to settle a hand on her arm. Lan Zhan looked at her and her expression softened, but Lan Huan’s brow settled into a frown. His lips tightened. “So, Wei Ying, just how long are you planning to stay here? Being taken care of by my sister?”

With a sudden rush, all of the previous, innocent-seeming questions connected with this one and Wei Ying realised why Lan Huan was there. Lan Zhan had told him about her being there. And about the baby. So he had come by, a surprise visit, to check up. To see what Wei Ying was doing. To check his sister wasn’t being taken advantage of. Lan Zhan had never done much social media, and even that had dropped off when she had moved out here. But Lan Huan did. And he would have seen all of the rumours and lies that Haoran had been spreading about her.

She felt her face start to go red. A tidal wave of shame and guilt swamped her, followed by an anger so deep it almost didn’t register. Even here, even hidden from the world with Lan Zhan, she couldn’t escape.

“Excuse me.” Wei Ying pushed back her chair, wincing at the harsh scrape of the wood on the tiles. “I need to –” She gestured vaguely off, then stepped backwards, almost tripping on the chair. “I have to –”

As she left the room, Wei Ying Lan Zhan saying, “Ge.” Her voice was low and harsh. She shook her head. Nothing could come between the Lan siblings, it had always been joked. They were so close and such friends.

Except Wei Ying. She could come into any family and tear it apart. Wei Ying: leech. Yu-ayi had said it often enough.

Wei Ying made it into her bedroom and closed the door, but it didn’t feel like enough. She stumbled into the bathroom and locked it, sitting on the toilet lid and burying her face in her hands.

Hot tears flowed down her face, bitter, angry, guilt-ridden and shameful. It felt like too much. She should get her things, remove herself. Stop being a leech and actually just fend for herself. But where would she go? She cursed herself for not having planned any contingencies. She had been living with Lan Zhan for over a month and hadn’t tried to get Wen Qing’s number, hadn’t reached out at all.

She had felt safe. Sheltered. Able to regroup and lick her wounds. To hide from the outside world. She had been a fool.

Wei Ying had no idea how long she had been in there when there was a knock on the bathroom door, but her tears had dried and her head was aching.

“Wei Ying?” It was Lan Zhan. Wei Ying snuffled, blinking as she lifted her head from her hands and realised that it had gone dark around her. “Wei Ying? Please let me in.”

Wei Ying stood and flicked on the bathroom light, wincing at the sudden light in the room. She unlocked the door, but couldn’t make herself open it. She sat back down on the toilet.

The door opened and when their eyes met Wei Ying blinked at sudden tears again. She angrily wiped at them, hating how pathetic pregnancy had made her. She had never cried this much in her life, before five months ago.

When the fragmented tears cleared, she realised that Lan Zhan had knelt down on the floor in front of her. She lifted her hands and cradled Wei Ying’s cheeks, using her thumbs to wipe at the tears on her cheeks.

“I am sorry, Wei Ying.”

“No!” Wei Ying reached up to grab Lan Zhan’s wrists. “No, you don’t apologise, please. It’s me, I’m the problem. I’m the one who…I just turned up. You’re too good, you would never turn away a pregnant woman, but that didn’t mean that I could just leech–” Her breath hitched as Lan Zhan’s hands on her cheeks tightened, pausing her flood of self-reproof.

“Wei Ying, that’s not correct,” Lan Zhan said, her eyes boring into Wei Ying’s. Wei Ying tried to shake her head, but Lan Zhan held it firm. “No, you have to listen.” She almost growled out a huff of frustration. “You are never a leech, never a burden, never unwanted. Not to me. Not ever to me.” Wei Ying licked her lips, tasting the salt of her tears. “You think you are taking advantage of me, when really it’s me who gains everything from having you here.”

Lan Zhan seemed to set her jaw, look away, then looked back. “I have the company of my best friend, all to myself. I know myself well enough to know that I am selfish, possessive –” Wei Ying tried to shake her head again, but Lan Zhan held her firm. “I am. I don’t want to share your company with everyone. I like that we have a quiet place where we can be happy.” Lan Zhan swallowed, hesitating, then went on. “And I like that there will be a baby. That I will get to be a part of its life. To help raise it.” She finally let go of Wei Ying and let her arms fall to her side. “So never feel like you’re taking advantage of me. Because I am taking so much advantage of you and your situation that yours can’t even count.”

Wei Ying couldn’t bear the quiet pain in Lan Zhan’s voice. She reached out to cup her shoulder. “Hey, Lan Zhan, shhhhh, come on, you’re too good–” She quelled at Lan Zhan’s sharp look. “Okay, then, okay.” She laughed, a thick sound. “Maybe it’s okay because we’re both taking advantage.” Lan Zhan frowned. “No, listen. If I feel like I’m the lucky one, and you feel like you’re the lucky one, then maybe we’re both just lucky? Maybe it’s okay that we take from each other, because we both get something we want. A trade where everyone is happy.”

“Not a trade.” Lan Zhan sounded almost petulant and Wei Ying laughed, pulling her into a hug. Lan Zhan clung to her, holding so tight.

“Not a trade, an arrangement. A lifestyle choice.” She pulled back and kissed Lan Zhan on the forehead. “Two best friends, making a life together."

Lan Zhan’s hands gripped tighter. “Yes.”

“And any men that come into our lives will always be secondary to our friendship and our baby.” Lan Zhan’s lips tightened and she looked away. “Come on, Lan Zhan, we need to be realistic that you’ll probably find someone one day. Even hidden away here your beauty is renowned.”

Lan Zhan looked back at her. “You are more likely to find a man than I ever will.”

Wei Ying shook her head. “Not me. I’ve sworn off men now.”

Lan Zhan pushed to her feet and held out a hand to pull Wei Ying up. “I swore off them long before that.”

Wei Ying laughed and nudged her with her shoulder. “But seriously, though, Lan Zhan. If we’re doing this. If you’re really sure, I need to know that you’ll tell me if you ever change your mind.” Lan Zhan opened her mouth and Wei Ying knew that she was going to say she wouldn’t. “Promise.”

Lan Zhan rolled her eyes, but nodded. Wei Ying nodded back.

“Right.” She heaved a sigh. “I should go and apologise to Lan Huan.”

Lan Zhan stopped Wei Ying next to the sink. “There is no need.” She bent to pull a flannel out of the unit under the sink. “I sent him home.”

“What?” Wei Ying felt sour. “But–”

Lan Zhan dampened the flannel under the tap with cool water and lifted it to wipe Wei Ying’s face. “It is he who owes you an apology. He came into your home and implied things that he had no right to. I advised him that he would be welcome back when it was to apologise to you.”

Wei Ying gaped and Lan Zhan used the opportunity to wipe her lips and around her mouth. Wei Ying spluttered and tried to bat Lan Zhan’s hands away, but she just held her chin with one hand and continued wiping with the other until she was done.

Wei Ying’s face and eyes felt less swollen and messy, which was nice, but she still needed to speak. “Lan Zhan–”

Lan Zhan just shook her head at her. “He knows that he was in the wrong, Wei Ying.”

She scrunched her nose. “Still.” But there was nothing more to say.

Lan Zhan took her hand and tugged her out of the bathroom. “Come on. You can chop for dinner.”

Wei Ying grumbled, but followed along, heart beating strangely fast. So many feelings were crashing about inside her, but Lan Zhan’s hand was warm on hers. And they were both lucky. Both getting benefits from the arrangement. Wei Ying could cope with that.

Wei Ying wiped her hand across her forehead again and felt the gritty rasp that told her she had just spread dirt across her face again. It was to be expected when working like this, but she always swore she would remember to bring out a cloth like Lan Zhan did, then promptly forgot every time.

“Oh!” A voice startled Wei Ying and she almost overbalanced into the trellis holding up the plants one plot over. A hand shot into view and grabbed her before she could fall. “Careful!”

Wei Ying got her feet under her, then almost yanked her arm away.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to make you jump!” The hand belonged to a rangy woman, with bright eyes and a ready smile. “I just didn’t expect anyone other than Lan Zhan.” The smile became teasing. “I didn’t know she had a guest.”

Wei Ying blinked. “I live here.”

The woman’s eyebrows went up. “Oh! Oh.” The smile slipped. “Oh, well. Okay.” She looked crestfallen for a moment, then seemed to rally. “I’m Zhao Xinyi, I live in town.” ‘Town’ was what the locals called the larger town one over from the nearby village. “I came to speak to Lan Zhan.”

Wei Ying bowed slightly, remembering her manners. “Oh, right, yes, sorry. I’m Wei Ying, I’m –” She hesitated, unsure how to explain that she was a pregnant friend, come to hide herself away at Lan Zhan’s home.

The smile came back fully to Zhao Xinyi’s face. “It’s okay, you don’t need to explain.” She winked. “I know.”

Wei Ying felt slightly baffled. “We’re friends,” she explained.

Zhao Xinyi gave a slight laugh. “Oh yes, friends! That’s all that you are!”

“Well, we’re good friends.” Wei Ying stuttered out, not really sure what they were talking about, but starting to get a feeling.

Zhao Xinyi smiled, a little sly thing tucked in the corner of her mouth, and raised her eyebrows at Wei Ying. “Yes, I bet.” She sighed and the smile deepened. “I can think of a number of people who would very much like to be good friends with Lan Zhan.”

The emphasis made it completely clear for Wei Ying. She wasn’t stupid, she knew what Zhao Xinyi was implying, but it was so far from their reality that she spoke without thinking. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Lan Zhan is my best friend.” Her voice caught slightly on the last word, like she was about to cry, and she wished it hadn’t. That she didn’t feel like she was showing weakness in front of this stranger, this woman who thought she knew Lan Zhan, who thought she knew Wei Ying, and what they were to each other.

Zhao Xinyi looked slightly taken aback. “I’m sorry –” she shook her head. “I’m just – I assumed –”

Wei Ying drew herself up, growing bump making her feel a little unwieldy. “Well, you assumed wrong.”

Zhao Xinyi seemed to finally notice her bump and nodded, holding up her hands placatingly. “Okay, no problem.” She pointed along the path and smiled again, slightly forced. “I’ll go and find A-Zhan.”

Wei Ying bristled at the smile and the name. She wanted to tell Zhao Xinyi she couldn’t talk to Lan Zhan today, but she had already started making her way down the path, clearly knowing her way around. Wei Ying hesitated for only a second before she followed. She wasn’t exactly stealthy in her condition, but the garden was a riot of verdant plants that she could keep behind.

When Zhao Xinyi approached Lan Zhan, she raised a hand and called a greeting. Lan Zhan was crouched down over a plot and looked up. She said something, but Wei Ying was too far away to hear her, or Zhao Xinyi's low response. It was so clear that Zhao Xinyi was flirting. She leaned close to say whatever it was they were talking about, like Lan Zhan couldn’t hear her. She would have heard her fine if Zhao Xinyi hadn’t lowered her voice. At one point she actually laid a hand on Lan Zhan’s arm.

Wei Ying held her breath, but while Lan Zhan looked down at the hand, she didn’t draw her arm away.

Finally, eventually, whatever Zhao Xinyi had come here to talk about was concluded and she left. Lan Zhan moved as though to escort her to the gate, but Zhao Xinyi waved her off, laughing. Wei Ying ducked back into the foliage until she was sure Zhao Xinyi was gone.

After at least five minutes, Wei Ying took a deep breath, mind reeling. She stepped back out onto the path and looked at Lan Zhan. She stared and couldn’t figure out why she hadn’t seen it before. The signs were all there. But it wasn’t like being a lesbian was a common thing. Wei Ying herself didn’t think she’d ever met a lesbian in her life.

Except she had. Her best friend had been one all along and she just – hadn’t seen it. Hadn’t wanted to see it? No, that wasn’t fair to herself. There were stereotypes and Wei Ying didn’t buy into them. It would be wrong of her to assume anyone’s sexuality just based on their clothes and hair. But still. So many things she had said about men now made so much more sense. Lan Zhan wasn’t exactly hiding it, but Wei Ying hadn’t seen.

Wei Ying hadn’t seen, but others had. She felt a curl of jealousy in her stomach and leaned over as though she could ease it. The woman at the market had seen it, she realised. Zhao Xinyi had seen it. Seen it, and wanted Lan Zhan. These women knew Lan Zhan better than Wei Ying herself had.

Maybe they had even had sex with her.

She pictured Lan Zhan, curled up in bed with Zhao Xinyi, arm around her, both sleeping, soft together. The jealousy roared. She didn’t want anyone else to see Lan Zhan like that.

What an awful, selfish person she was. Yu-ayi had said it many times, and she was right. Who would be jealous of Lan Zhan finding someone to be happy with? Who would want to deny her the chance at that joy? What was Wei Ying? A friend who was pregnant with someone else’s baby, that was all. She wasn’t a girlfriend or a wife, to act and feel so bitter. It might be her home for now, but what if Lan Zhan wanted Zhao Xinyi, or someone else, to move in?

Again the image of it swirled in her mind. Of them going to bed together, the door closed on Wei Ying, alone on the other side of it. Hearing them laugh together through the walls. Hearing other things. Waking up to them both at the table, drinking tea - because of course Zhao Xinyi would prefer tea, like Lan Zhan – judging Wei Ying for sleeping in so late.

Zhao Xinyi would be asked, “Who is that other woman who lives in your house?” and she would laugh, carelessly. “Oh, that’s Wei Ying. She got herself in trouble and Lan Zhan is too nice to kick her out.”

Wei Ying felt sick. She crouched, wrapping her arms around her knees, but her belly was too big now. She plopped to the ground, sitting, curled into herself, only realising she was crying when fat tears landed on her bare legs, leaving trails through the fine dirt she always streaked on herself. Zhao Xinyi had looked as clean as Lan Zhan. She would probably never end up with dusty, dirty knees from kneeling in the soil.

A part of Wei Ying, deep and confused, wondered at how she was spiralling. Why had realising that Lan Zhan was a lesbian led to Wei Ying sitting on the ground, sobbing? It made no sense, but she still wept bitter tears for herself, for the fact that she would lose Lan Zhan to another woman, something that hadn’t seemed so terrible when she had thought Lan Zhan would marry a man.

It was pregnancy hormones. The thought arrived fully formed in her mind, like that confused part of her had figured it out and held up a sign. Wei Ying wasn’t the kind of person to sit and cry over something like this, surely? She laughed, as sharp as the tears had been, and sat doing both for at least a few more minutes until she managed to get herself under control. She thanked whatever gods Lan Zhan imbued in the garden that Lan Zhan hadn’t spotted her like that.

Eventually, finally, Wei Ying got back to her feet, snuffling, and dragged her arm across her eyes to wipe the worst of the tears.

She walked towards Lan Zhan who was standing now, digging a hole for the saplings, then bedding them in. Her white tank top was clinging to her back as she moved, sweat-damp. Wei Ying had never really found sweat attractive, but on Lan Zhan it looked good. No wonder Zhao Xinyi was interested. Look at her – Lan Zhan was gorgeous. Lesbians everywhere were so lucky.

As she watched, Lan Zhan stood up and arched her back, wiping her forehead on her cloth, then flicking it off to the side. She turned slightly and caught Wei Ying looking at her. She raised her eyebrows and Wei Ying waved.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” Lan Zhan echoed. Then she leaned in to peer at Wei Ying more closely. “Are you okay? Have you been crying?” She put down her spade and stepped carefully through the plants until she reached the path, approaching Wei Ying with a concerned expression.

Wei Ying shook her head and waved her hands. “No no, it’s okay, I’m okay.” She shrugged. “Hormones, I’m pretty sure.” She laughed. “I ended up sitting on the ground crying and laughing at the same time. It’s so stupid!”

Lan Zhan’s lips pressed into a line. “Not stupid. Don’t talk about yourself like that.”

Wei Ying laughed again, not sure what to say in the face of such sincerity. She swallowed and changed the subject. “I met Zhao Xinyi. She seemed nice.” Wei Ying hated her on principle, but that wasn’t Zhao Xinyi’s fault.

Lan Zhan raised her eyebrows. “Hm? Yes.”

Wei Ying nodded, ducking her head so that Lan Zhan wouldn’t see that she was about to start crying again. “I think – “ she swallowed around a knot in her throat. “Do you – will you date her? She wants to.”

She glanced up to see that Lan Zhan was completely still, watching Wei Ying with an intense stare. She probably hadn’t expected Wei Ying to figure it out. After all, she had spent all the rest of their friendship wrapped in her own ignorance.

“I think you’ll be –” The knot seemed to be growing in her throat.

“No.” Lan Zhan’s voice cut through. “I will not date her.”

Wei Ying looked up in surprise. “What? Why not? She clearly really likes you.”

Lan Zhan stared for another few seconds, then shrugged one shoulder. “I do not think of her that way. I am not interested.”

“Oh.” The jealousy that Wei Ying hadn’t realised was almost throttling her, eased, unwinding its hold on her heart. “Oh, wow, okay.” She laughed, feeling almost hysterical with relief. “Poor Zhao Xinyi. I think she’s very smitten.” She could have sympathy for her now.

Lan Zhan shrugged again, with what almost seemed like an eye-roll. “Mn.”

“‘Mn’? Is that all you can say, Lan Zhan? When you’re breaking a woman’s heart?” She clutched her own heart theatrically. “Have you left a trail of poor, desolate women in your wake, pining for their Zhan-jie, wishing she would spare them another look?” The teasing came so naturally, especially with the lightness of the relief.

Lan Zhan didn’t rise to it. She reached out and started dusting off Wei Ying’s backside, where she had been sitting on the ground. Wei Ying laughed and let her, then grabbed onto Lan Zhan’s arm. “Hey, jiejie? Let's get lunch, okay?”

Lan Zhan held out her arm for Wei Ying to take.

Wei Ying rolled onto her other side, trying to convince her body to go back to sleep. She usually slept on her front, which of course was right out now. She could still sleep a little on her back, but more and more the baby wriggled too much when she did.

She had been able to feel it move for weeks now. When the slight, uncertain flutterings had become actual, noticeable shifts, Wei Ying had told Lan Zhan in passing, but tried not to make a big deal out of it. No one else could feel it but her, after all, and it felt so selfish to ask Lan Zhan to get excited about something only Wei Ying could feel.

Huffing, Wei Ying accepted that she would not be getting more sleep and rolled onto her back, hand resting on her bump. It felt forbidden, given all of the rules she had grown up absorbing, but at the same time she had read that they were old wives tales. Rubbing your bump didn’t make the baby any more fussy, not really. But mainly she did it because she knew that Yu-ayi would have scolded her for it. She didn’t get a right to tell Wei Ying what to do anymore, especially not as a little voice in her mind.

As expected, the move to her back seemed to wake the baby completely. It was so odd to think of the wriggling thing inside her as a baby, but it was. Tiny, and, she guessed, objecting to Wei Ying’s spine being uncomfortable to lie on.

Wei Ying patted her bump again. “Okay, okay, baby, I’ll get up in a minute, stop complaining.”

She didn’t know if it was a reaction to her voice, her hand patting, or just a coincidence, but the baby kicked hard, and Wei Ying felt it. Not just inside, but under her palm, something shifting under her skin.

Wei Ying gasped and sat up, looking down at her belly. Another kick, and she was sure she could see it as well.

She threw back the covers, hand cradling her bump, and ran out of the door to her bedroom. It was an overcast day, a little drizzly, so Lan Zhan would probably be in the kitchen or her workroom outside. She tried the kitchen first, and there Lan Zhan was, tea at her side, a book held in one hand.

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying skidded to a halt next to her and reached out to grab her free hand. She thrust it towards her stomach, directly over where the baby was still kicking, probably now objecting to Wei Ying jossling it around. “Feel.”

Lan Zhan turned, immediately understanding, a look of intense focus on her face. She didn’t have to wait long. Within seconds there was another kick, hard enough that Wei Ying almost winced.

Lan Zhan’s lips opened in awe and her eyes, sparkling, looked up to meet Wei Ying’s. Wei Ying felt her eyes prickling. “Jiejie.”

Lan Zhan stood and pulled Wei Ying against her, arms wrapping around to hold her close. Wei Ying buried her nose into the crook of her neck, feeling shaky and overwhelmed. Lan Zhan had felt it too.

“It’s a baby, Lan Zhan,” she said, nonsensically.

Lan Zhan rocked her. “It is.” Her hand slipped back down to cradle Wei Ying’s bump, her breath stuttering when she felt the baby still kicking. “It’s your baby.”

Wei Ying nodded, but croaked out, “Our baby. It will be our baby.”

Lan Zhan gripped Wei Ying tighter. “Ours. Our baby.”

“Yes.” Wei Ying pulled back slightly so she could look at Lan Zhan, who seemed to also have damp eyes. “Ours. It will be both of ours.”

Lan Zhan’s jaw clenched, her throat working hard as though around a lump. She nodded, taking trembling breaths, then ducked her own head against Wei Ying’s shoulder. Wei Ying held her, stroking the soft, short hair at the nape of her neck. “We’re in it together, right, Lan Zhan?”

She felt Lan Zhan nod against her shoulder, taking a surreptitious sniff. “Always.” She sniffed again, then lifted her head, looking at Wei Ying like she was made of gold. “Always together.”

Wei Ying felt a joyful elation that she couldn’t place, but she didn’t have to. She was here, with Lan Zhan, and their baby was moving. This she could share, this was theirs, together. She threw herself back into Lan Zhan’s arms and held on.

Lan Zhan did some research and found a well-respected birthing hospital about an hour’s drive away. She booked Wei Ying an appointment for some prenatal tests, something that Wei Ying had presumed she wouldn’t get when fleeing to the country, but Lan Zhan was insistent.

The doctors were friendly, but firm, competently directing Wei Ying through all of the various tests and discussions. They were wholly unsurprised at Wei Ying’s insistence that Lan Zhan be allowed to be there through it all, though Lan Zhan herself ducked to hide a pleased smile.

She was gently chided for not attending sooner, but all of the results were positive. The baby was growing well, slightly above average size, and developing right on cue. Wei Ying felt smug, as though she had any actual conscious control over the whole affair. Lan Zhan looked happy too, a self-satisfied look settling onto her face. She probably deserved credit more, honestly, for making sure Wei Ying was eating and resting appropriately.

The doctor booked Wei Ying in for another appointment in a few weeks' time, which she objected to. The hospital was warm and so well-appointed that Wei Ying knew it must be costing Lan Zhan quite a bit to choose it instead of a normal hospital. But Lan Zhan just shot her a quelling look and dutifully entered the details onto her phone.

When they climbed back into the truck, Wei Ying felt a strange mix of emotions. Not being sure what was going on, she whined about wanting you dunzi until Lan Zhan pulled over to get it.

As far as Wei Ying could tell, before she arrived Lan Zhan would mainly read in the evenings, after finishing up the day’s work. After a hard day, though, Wei Ying wanted to relax. They had quickly settled into a new routine of Wei Ying putting on whatever show had most recently caught her attention, and Lan Zhan pretending to read for a few episodes. She always cracked, though, and gave up the pretence to cuddle up with Wei Ying and get far too invested in whatever plot was happening.

Recently, though, Wei Ying had been feeling more and more – hot. Warm and, frankly, horny. She was craving more and more physical touch, and snuggled in closer to Lan Zhan, who just shifted to allow it. Part of her thought Lan Zhan might object, might even pretend reluctance while letting Wei Ying continue, but she just – accommodated. Turned herself, shifted arms or legs, to allow Wei Ying to get in closer. They were now pressed so tight together that it was notable. One of them should have said something. The fact that neither had was almost strange in itself.

Her skin felt sensitive and tingly. Lan Zhan’s arms were bare and wrapped around her. Everywhere they touched, skin to skin, Wei Ying felt shivery and hot. It pulsed in time between her legs. She felt almost feverish with how turned on she was, how much she just wanted to push her hand between her legs and touch herself. She’d done it already once today, and if she wanted she could claim she was tired and go to do it again. Get herself off, quickly and efficiently, then take a nap.

But Lan Zhan… Lan Zhan was here, and her arms were firm around Wei Ying. Firm, lesbian arms. Wei Ying felt like she was opening her eyes for the first time. She had seen Lan Zhan, known how beautiful and attractive she was, but something about knowing she was a lesbian felt like those magic eye puzzles; you saw it all one way and thought that was all, then something clicked and suddenly you saw the full picture.

A voice in her head tried to claim that she should not take more advantage of Lan Zhan, and anyway she was a woman. And Wei Ying wasn’t into women, right? But the steady pulse of her pussy seemed to easily drown it out. And Lan Zhan wasn’t pulling away from her.

Wei Ying shifted again and Lan Zhan moved so she was almost lying on the sofa, Wei Ying moved with her until she was practically on top of Lan Zhan, belly between them, their legs slotting together. Lan Zhan was stroking her broad palm down Wei Ying’s back and, without thinking, without planning, Wei Ying pressed in with her hips, barely biting back a sound at the intense pleasure that rolled through her.

Wei Ying hoped that Lan Zhan hadn’t noticed, but she froze, her hand stilling. “Wei Ying?”

Wei Ying groaned and buried her head against Lan Zhan’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Lan Zhan, it’s just so – I’m –” Her mouth was pressed against Lan Zhan’s collarbone, lips moving on the skin. She let them move up towards the base of Lan Zhan’s throat, still mouthing. When her tongue peeked out and tasted the salty-sweetness of her skin, Lan Zhan sucked in a sharp breath.

Lan Zhan lifted Wei Ying’s head and looked at her, eyes intent on hers, like she was looking for something. Wei Ying knew she must look as horny as she felt, mouth open and wanting, face flushed. But she couldn’t stop herself. She felt like a raging ball of want and need.

“Jiejie,” she breathed.

Lan Zhan dragged her in closer and kissed her. Wei Ying made an embarrassing sound into it, kissing back with desperate abandon, grinding her hips into Lan Zhan, as much as she could with her bump in the way.

The kiss was messy and deep, exactly as filthy as Wei Ying needed. She moaned into it, aching with desperation and frustration at not getting the friction she needed. The damn bump.

Lan Zhan pulled back out of the kiss and Wei Ying made a sound of objection, but Lan Zhan was turning her, manoeuvring her so her back was to Lan Zhan’s chest, wrapped in her arms and hips cradled back against Lan Zhan’s.

“I’ve got you.” Lan Zhan’s voice was low and rich by her ear and Wei Ying shuddered at it, shivering again when Lan Zhan started to mouth at her neck.

One of Lan Zhan’s hands pushed up under Wei Ying’s top, cradling one breast and rubbing firm fingers against her nipple, already peaked and tender. Wei Ying rolled her hips against nothing, moaning with shameless abandon.

Lan Zhan’s other hand pushed down under the waistband of Wei Ying’s shorts, palm cradling her bump for a few seconds, before going lower, clever fingers moving easily under the elastic of her underwear and down between her folds. Wei Ying arched, rocking her hips up, moaning in frustration as Lan Zhan slid her fingers either side of Wei Ying’s clit. Lan Zhan let out a low huff of breath, clearly amused.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying admonished.

Lan Zhan shushed her, then drew her fingers back up in a line up to Wei Ying’s clit, brushing it, then pressing more firmly. Wei Ying choked on a moan, body shaking and tense. Lan Zhan did it again and it felt like she was drawing all of Wei Ying’s tension into that one movement. Her fingers sped up and it was the final straw for Wei Ying, who crashed into her orgasm with an intensity she had never felt before. Lan Zhan pressed her fingers into Wei Ying’s clit and held it as Wei Ying rode it out, shuddering and panting.

When Wei Ying’s body finally eased, she was disorientated by Lan Zhan moving from under her, letting her drop onto the sofa. For a split second, she thought Lan Zhan was leaving and she opened her mouth to object, but then she was back, tugging off Wei Ying’s shorts and underwear, then shoving her legs apart to kneel between them. She leaned in and kissed Wei Ying, almost savage, then lowered herself to rest between Wei Ying’s thighs.

“I can’t–” Wei Ying started to say, but her breath was stolen by Lan Zhan licking a stripe up the same path her fingers had just been. Her pelvis jerked into it.

“You can’t what?”

Wei Ying hadn’t realised that she’d let her head drop back and she lifted it again to look down at Lan Zhan. “I –” she stammered. “I can’t come twice. And –” she swallowed “- I can’t come from head.”

Lan Zhan gave a small, one-sided smirk. “I see.” She leaned back down and pressed her mouth against Wei Ying’s pussy, tongue pushing in like the filthiest kiss. Wei Ying felt a throb in time with it, despite what she’d said.

Lan Zhan wasn’t loud, but as she mouthed at Wei Ying, tongue pressing in firmly, Wei Ying could almost feel the low moans she was letting out. It felt – incredible. They were having sex. She was having sex with Lan Zhan. And knowing how much pleasure Lan Zhan was taking from what she was doing was a revelation. Wei Ying had always felt like being gone down on was a chore, perfunctory. Lan Zhan made it seem like she was the one being done the favour. It allowed Wei Ying to relax into it, to enjoy the feelings without worrying. And when she saw Lan Zhan reach down with her own hand to unfasten her shorts and shove a hand in, clearly stroking herself in time with her tongue, Wei Ying made a shattered sound.

Her top was pushed up where Lan Zhan had left it, her tits exposed, and she saw Lan Zhan look up at them more than once, peeking over her bump. Wei Ying lifted one hand from where it had been gripping her thigh and started playing with one of her nipples. Lan Zhan’s groan reverberated against her clit and she redoubled her efforts, making Wei Ying jerk her hips, fucking up into Lan Zhan’s willing mouth. It was the filthiest thing she had ever done and she wanted more.

“Lan Zhan,” she moaned. “Oh fuck, Lan Zhan.”

Lan Zhan mouthed at her, tongue moving faster with more intensity. Wei Ying watched Lan Zhan’s hand speed up with it. She licked her lips and managed to stutter out, “Come with me, Lan Zhan. I want to – I want –” The words dissolved as she started shaking, coming with long, deep pulses wracking her body. She felt rather than saw Lan Zhan spasm, the hand that was still wrapped around Wei Ying’s thigh tightening to almost painful.

The thought of Lan Zhan coming, making herself come because going down on Wei Ying turned her on so much, was overwhelming. It made Wei Ying reel and, with a shocked gasp, she came again, riding it out against Lan Zhan’s willing tongue.

Wei Ying felt like the whole world had evaporated until she blinked and it came floating back. Lan Zhan had lifted her head and was resting her chin on Wei Ying, watching her with a small smile, blinking slowly like a satisfied cat.

Wei Ying couldn’t help but laugh. “So smug, Jiejie!”

“Mn,” Lan Zhan agreed. Wei Ying threw back her head to cackle.

After a few moments, Lan Zhan pressed a kiss to the inside of Wei Ying’s thigh. “I will get you some water.”

Wei Ying smiled at her. “Yeah, you wore me out.” Lan Zhan stood, still looking smug. “You’re the best friend a pregnant girl could ever ask for.”

Lan Zhan paused and looked at her, something almost knowing in her gaze. “Hmm.” She didn’t elaborate and left to get the drink.

When Wei Ying woke up, she tried to remember what the plans were for the day. There was something…? Facts were trying to make themselves known, but she was cosy, listening to the rain outside, pattering down.

It was the rain that finally reminded her. The market. They were meant to go to the market. She sighed and flopped onto her back. If it was raining like this a lot of people would have cancelled for the day. No one liked being rained on, and even with covers over the stalls, big drips would splash down. Their plans would have to wait.

Also, she and Lan Zhan had had sex the evening before.

Wei Ying blew out a breath. They had finished watching the film, lying on the sofa side by side, Lan Zhan again stroking Wei Ying absentmindedly. Wei Ying had felt like a dozing cat, satisfied and in a semi-waking state, barely keeping up with the plot and not caring at all.

When Lan Zhan had risen to go to bed, Wei Ying hadn’t been sure of the protocol. Did you follow your friend to sleep in their bed when they had given you three orgasms? Maybe Lan Zhan didn’t want Wei Ying in her bed? Maybe she wanted to sleep alone.

When Wei Ying had sat up, Lan Zhan had hesitated for a moment, but had leaned down to kiss Wei Ying softly, at the corner of her mouth.

“Good night, Wei Ying.”

“Night!” Wei Ying had tried to remember what she usually sounded like and knew she had missed the mark. She had gone to her own bed.

Lying under the covers, Wei Ying let out a gusty sigh. Maybe Lan Zhan knew that this was Wei Ying’s pregnant body being needy. She certainly didn’t remember thinking about women that way, not until she had realised that Lan Zhan was a lesbian, and she had been pregnant then too. She had read that pregnancy could give you a heightened sex drive – could it make you attracted to women as well? The evidence seemed to suggest so.

More importantly, Wei Ying thought, pressing her thighs together, would Lan Zhan want to do it again? She certainly did, right now, if her body had any say in the matter.

She padded into the kitchen to find Lan Zhan sitting at the table, reading another book. She looked up as Wei Ying walked in, making Wei Ying stop, her breathing coming too heavily. She was so turned on, feeling desperate, and sure that Lan Zhan just looking at her was making it worse.

“Lan Zhan –” was all she got out before Lan Zhan stood and approached. Wei Ying knew her mouth was open, but couldn’t seem to close it as she almost panted.

Lan Zhan gripped her shoulders and maneovered her so she was pushed back against the table, the lip of it digging into the back of her thighs. In seconds her sleep-shorts were gone and Lan Zhan had lifted her up to sit on the table and lean back.

“We eat here,” Wei Ying objected.

Lan Zhan raised one eyebrow. “Do you care that much?”

Wei Ying threw back her head, laughing. “I really don’t!”

Lan Zhan fell to her knees and pushed Wei Ying’s thighs open, leaning straight in to put her mouth where Wei Ying was wettest. She groaned at the soft, needy sound that Lan Zhan made, like it was her who had a tongue on her pussy. She wrapped her arms around Wei Ying’s thighs and pulled her to the edge of the table, diving in like she was starving for it. Like she had been waiting for Wei Ying to get up.

Wei Ying propped herself up on one elbow and reached down with the other hand to hold the back of Lan Zhan’s head, her fingers tangling in the short hair. “Lan Zhan, oh fuck, Lan Zhan, I need it, I need you.”

Lan Zhan made a rough, deep sound, and pressed in more, tonguing at Wei Ying’s clit. Wei Ying was already shuddering, already right on the edge of coming. She tried to hold it off, to show that she could last, that she had stamina, but it was too much, too good. She came with a patchy moan, her hips jerking into Lan Zhan’s mouth over and over.

She had barely finished when Lan Zhan stood up and leaned over her. Her hands pushed up Wei Ying’s strappy top, letting her look and touch as she wanted. Wei Ying tried to speak, but Lan Zhan’s mouth was on hers, kissing her as deep and filthy as she just had Wei Ying’s pussy. She tasted like Wei Ying, her mouth wet, and it was so hot. Wei Ying tried to drag her in closer, but Lan Zhan grabbed Wei Ying’s hand and pushed it down between her legs, grinding against it.

“Yeah,” Wei Ying breathed against Lan Zhan’s mouth. “Yeah, Lan Zhan.”

Lan Zhan fumbled to unfasten her trousers while they kissed. When Wei Ying tried to help, Lan Zhan batted her hand away until she had them open. Then she grabbed Wei Ying’s hand again and thrust it down into her underwear.

Wei Ying turned her wrist so her fingers could seek, sliding with warm and wet ease into Lan Zhan’s folds. It was so different, and yet so familiar. She told herself that this was Lan Zhan, this was Lan Zhan’s pussy, her wetness, her clit so clear and firm. The thought made her moan again and she tried to stroke, but Lan Zhan just held her wrist and thrust herself against Wei Ying’s fingers. It was so hot, Lan Zhan using her to get off. Making Wei Ying do it. She wanted to watch Lan Zhan come so much.

It didn’t take long. Lan Zhan had apparently been as turned on as Wei Ying, because her kisses started to become messier, her breathing heavier. Wei Ying slid her fingers in time with Lan Zhan’s grinding, mouth open so they were just breathing against each other. Lan Zhan tensed, shaking, then shuddered. Wei Ying opened her eyes and pulled back so she could watch, her own hips lifting in sympathetic pleasure.

“Fuck, Lan Zhan, you’re so hot. You’re so beautiful.” She couldn’t help the awe in her voice. She had never felt so alive, so powerful, as knowing that Lan Zhan had come because of her. She crooked her fingers, desperate to carry on, but Lan Zhan hissed and pulled her wrist away.

“Awww, Lan Zhan. Too much?” She kissed Lan Zhan gently, once, twice. “You can’t go again?” She flexed her wrist to show Lan Zhan she wanted to carry on.

Lan Zhan flicked up a one-sided smile and pressed in some kisses of her own, Wei Ying closing her eyes into them again. “You need breakfast.”

Wei Ying pulled back and huffed. “I needed this more.”

Lan Zhan stepped back, letting Wei Ying’s legs down. “And you’ve had it. Now you must eat, to keep your strength up.”

Wei Ying’s stomach seemed to be listening as it made a loud sound, making Wei Ying laugh. “Okay, okay, fine.” She looked up at Lan Zhan coyly. “Jiejie knows how to take care of me.”

Lan Zhan looked pleased. “I do.” She helped Wei Ying to her feet and back into her sleep shorts, then slapped her lightly on the backside, making Wei Ying start. “Go and get dressed.”

Wei Ying groaned. “Lan Zhan, it’s raining. We can’t go to the market, and the plants won’t need watering.” She held out her arms. “I’m comfy like this.” Lan Zhan didn’t look impressed so Wei Ying chanced a cheeky justification. “I’m easier to get at like this, aren’t I?” She slid her own hand across her belly. Her strappy top had slipped back down with the loss of Lan Zhan’s hands, so Wei Ying slipped her palm up, pushing the top ahead of it.

Lan Zhan’s eyes dropped and her lips parted, watching. Wei Ying thought she had won for a moment, then Lan Zhan tapped her behind again.

“Dressed.”

“Urgh, fine.” Wei Ying pulled a fake pouty face, which broke into a smile when Lan Zhan gripped her chin and pulled her in for another kiss.

It was like a dam had broken for Lan Zhan and she kissed Wei Ying all the time. Wei Ying certainly wasn’t complaining - half the time the kisses became more and Wei Ying had never had so many orgasms in her life.

When she told Lan Zhan this, Lan Zhan pulled a face. She never mentioned Haoran’s name, but she had this look on her face when she was thinking about him. It was disdain and dislike in equal parts. She also muttered something, which turned out to be, “Unacceptable,” when Wei Ying made her repeat it.

Wei Ying, sprawled out in post-orgasmic bliss across her bed, grinned. “You’re right. It’s completely unacceptable.” She eyed Lan Zhan, who was naked next to her, her own limbs loose from getting herself off while she’d gone down on Wei Ying. “Did you know that the night I got pregnant I didn’t have any at all?”

Lan Zhan jerked upright to look at her. “None?” Wei Ying shook her head, making Lan Zhan’s jaw clench. Then she rolled between Wei Ying’s legs again, parting them. “Then I will make up for that.”

Wei Ying laughed, breathless and delighted.

While all of the kissing and orgasms were wonderful, Wei Ying had two thoughts that kept circling in her mind.

The first was about her own feelings. She would find herself staring at Lan Zhan’s mouth, wanting to kiss her, touch her all of the time. To feel her tongue on Wei Ying’s pussy, making her wild, over and over. But she hadn’t felt these things before.

She and Lan Zhan had been friends for years, and in bed at night Wei Ying thought about that time. She had loved Lan Zhan, felt desperate for her time and attention. At school, she had bugged Lan Zhan over and over, only to be pushed away, ignored, glared at. Then they had gone to separate universities and when they had both come back, four years later, Lan Zhan had been different, and not just the newly short hair and changed sense of dress.

When Wei Ying had pestered to spend time together, Lan Zhan had said yes. There had been no more glares, instead Lan Zhan had seemed to go out of her way to do things for Wei Ying, to care for her. They had become best friends, something that Wei Ying cherished.

But she hadn’t seen that Lan Zhan was into women, and she herself certainly hadn’t been. Sure, she thought about it, like most people did. And women could look amazing. Who could claim that they were able to keep their eyes away from the swell of a good cleavage? It was normal. She had even thought about kissing Lan Zhan once or twice, laughing to herself about how much fun it would be to practise together. All girls, best friends, thought about that, she was sure.

Now, she was pregnant, and overwhelmed with ways that her changing body demanded things. Like sex, like orgasms. And Lan Zhan was right there, willing to provide.

So, wasn’t it just another way that Wei Ying was taking advantage of Lan Zhan? So selfish that she needed all of Lan Zhan’s attention, even her kisses, her hands, her tongue. It felt amazing, but one day she wouldn’t be pregnant anymore. The demands of her body would change back, and what would happen then?

‘Thanks for all the orgasms, Lan Zhan, you were great. Now go away, I don’t want you anymore.’

She never wanted to hurt Lan Zhan, but wasn’t she setting them both up for that? Which led to Wei Ying’s second circling thought. Would Lan Zhan really be all that upset when it happened?

Looking back, it was clear that Lan Zhan had known she was a lesbian when she came back from university, but she had never given any indication that she was attracted to Wei Ying. They had spent so much time together, almost joined at the hip until Wei Ying started dating Haoran, but Lan Zhan hadn’t even told her she was into women.

It had been Wei Ying’s needy body that had pushed them into what they were doing. Which was Lan Zhan doing lots for Wei Ying, but not letting Wei Ying reciprocate. Sure, Lan Zhan always made sure that she came, but except for that one morning in the kitchen, she always did it for herself. She never expected or indicated that Wei Ying should use her own hands or mouth in return, even when Wei Ying wanted to.

They also never shared a bed. Lan Zhan was private about her bedroom, which was fine, Wei Ying respected that. Wei Ying’s bed was wide and comfortable, when they made it that far. But Lan Zhan never stayed the night in Wei Ying’s bed.

Maybe, maybe Lan Zhan just liked to have sex. She clearly really enjoyed going down on a woman, given how much she seemed to love doing it to Wei Ying. Some days she felt like she barely saw Lan Zhan face to face! But she touched herself while she did it. So maybe she liked to do it, but didn’t want to think about it being Wei Ying, so she didn’t want Wei Ying to do it back to her.

And if that was the case, then Lan Zhan might be a little sad to lose some regular sex once Wei Ying had the baby, but she wouldn’t be hurt in the way that Wei Ying really worried about. Which should have made Wei Ying feel better about it, but instead it somehow made her feel worse.

She knew that she should talk to Lan Zhan about it. Lan Zhan would be able to tell her which it was. But then she would know for certain that either she would be hurting Lan Zhan - a terrible option. Or that Lan Zhan wouldn’t be hurt at all - somehow worse.

Months passed at a leisurely pace, but still strangely so fast. Into her third trimester, Wei Ying began to feel truly unwieldy. She had thought that her bump was big before, but she had been a fool.

“Stop moving.” Wei Ying glared down at her belly, only for it to shift almost entirely from one side to the other. She looked up in awe at Lan Zhan. “Did you see that?”

Lan Zhan had a smile on her face, the one she seemed to carry a lot lately. “Mn. He’s ready to come out.”

Wei Ying rested her hand over where the baby was pressing. “Well, she’s got at least another six to eight weeks and needs to calm down so I can get anything done.”

Lan Zhan was convinced it was going to be a boy, so Wei Ying had decided it would be a girl just to be contrary. It made Lan Zhan purse her lips slightly, which made Wei Ying kiss them, and that always ended up fun. Though things had become more difficult to achieve, and Wei Ying didn’t feel that overpowering need to have sex anymore. But she still liked getting kissed and touched, and Lan Zhan hadn’t objected.

On the next market day, Wei Ying bowed out of the trip. She loved going, but she was far enough along that the thought of spending time in the truck, plus sitting or standing at the market, was just too much.

Lan Zhan was very understanding, kissing Wei Ying on the forehead before she left, but Wei Ying still felt irritated at the things her body wouldn’t let her do. She loved most elements of being pregnant, knowing that the bigger she got, the closer she was to meeting her baby, but she really hated it when it stopped her doing things she wanted to. She was too used to being the capable one, the one other people relied on. Having to rest and stay at home felt like she was letting Lan Zhan down.

She intended to continue the embroidery piece she had started for the baby’s bedroom, but when she sat down she felt too tired to hold her body up that way, even with the stand Lan Zhan had made for her. She let herself curl up on the sofa instead, on her side so that the baby wouldn’t complain, and watched some generic daytime television, which turned out to be a film she hadn’t seen in years. She settled in to watch it, hand pressing against where the baby was stretching, wincing at the shift.

Wei Ying woke slowly, blinking in confusion. She had no idea how long she had slept, but the tv was showing something completely different, the film having evidently finished while she slept. She felt groggy, but better, more rested than she had in days. It was wonderful when the baby’s desire for sleep coincided with her own. Too often when she settled down, the baby woke up and started kicking and stretching.

Of course she needed to use the bathroom, but once she was done, she grabbed some water from the kitchen, surprised to hear the engine of Lan Zhan coming back. She checked the time and realised she had slept for at least four hours, maybe even five.

Wei Ying gave a laugh and patted her belly. “Well done, baby! Now if you could just do that at midnight each night I think things would be fine.”

She padded over to her outdoor flip flops, still sitting where she had kicked them off when she came in, and shuffled out, through the garden to the drive.

Lan Zhan had parked the truck up outside the garage and was unloading numerous lengths of green bamboo. They certainly usually bought supplies when they were at the market, but this was unusual to say the least. When Lan Zhan spotted her, Wei Ying raised her eyebrows. Lan Zhan stacked the armful of long, thick bamboo she had been carrying and dusted her hands off to come over to Wei Ying.

“Hi.” Wei Ying smiled, feeling a little fuddled from the sleep and how it made it seem like Lan Zhan had only just left to come straight back.

Lan Zhan gave her a small smile. “Hello.” She looked closely at Wei Ying. “Did you sleep?”

“Oh boy, did I sleep.” Wei Ying stretched out her back. “To me it feels like you only just left!”

Lan Zhan nodded happily. “Good.”

Wei Ying pointed at the bamboo still on the truck. “What’s this for?”

Lan Zhan gave a one-sided shrug. “A project.”

“A project?” Wei Ying repeated.

“Mn.” Lan Zhan gave another small smile, clearly not planning to share, and walked back over to the truck, restarting her transfer of the bamboo to a pile off to the side. Each piece was at least 2-3 metres long, and would probably take two hands to wrap around. She watched for a few minutes, enjoying the way that Lan Zhan’s arms flexed when she hoisted each bundle to her shoulder.

Finally her aching feet reminded her of where she was and she shook herself off. “Fine, keep your secrets.” She twinkled a cheeky smile at Lan Zhan. “I’ll just have to find another way to get you to tell me.”

Lan Zhan shot her a look that, if it were a few months earlier, would definitely have resulted in Wei Ying on her back, crying with pleasure. She huffed at it this time, and turned to sway her way back into the house. She was suddenly starving and wanted to capitalise on it. Her appetite could be tricky when she was tired.

Wei Ying settled herself at the table just down from the kitchen veranda once she had her food – some protein-rich snacks Lan Zhan had prepared - and a pot of tea. She browsed through one of the baby books that she had already read, and flipped through another one that was dense with information, but not very readable. The chairs by the table weren’t massively comfortable in her current condition, they dug into the backs of her thighs and made her back ache a little, but she wanted to be able to try and catch what Lan Zhan was doing.

As it turned out, Lan Zhan was carting the bamboo to the main, central part of the paved courtyard, stacking it, then leaving it there. As the sun started setting, she washed her hands in the outside tap, then made her way over to the table to sit down.

“What would you like for dinner?”

Wei Ying looked at her for a moment. “You’re really not going to tell me what the bamboo is for?”

“You will find out.” Lan Zhan’s voice was low and amused. She was clearly very much enjoying herself.

Wei Ying blew out a frustrated breath. “Fine.” She leaned back in her chair. “Then I want century eggs.”

She was being deliberately awkward, choosing a favourite of hers, but something Lan Zhan would have needed to start making at least three months before. Lan Zhan, though, just nodded and pushed herself to her feet.

Wei Ying sat forward. “What? Lan Zhan? You have the eggs?”

Lan Zhan nodded again. “Mn. The duck eggs we bought.”

Wei Ying thought back but couldn’t specifically remember bringing home duck eggs, and certainly didn’t remember Lan Zhan doing anything with them. She struggled to get to her feet and Lan Zhan put a hand under her elbow to help her. “Where are they?”

When she was firmly standing, Lan Zhan offered her arm, which Wei Ying gladly took, and led them to the outhouse where she stored various foods that didn’t fit in the basement, and where the larger wood-fired wok was. Wei Ying had helped out with storing many different foods, but never seen any eggs.

Lan Zhan loosed her arm when they neared one of the back shelves and pulled down a well-wrapped cloth bundle inside a basket. Then she held out her arm again and Wei Ying, still incredulous, took it.

“I can’t believe you made them.”

Lan Zhan just smiled and escorted Wei Ying back to the table to sit while lunch was laid on. When everything was set out, Wei Ying set upon it like she hadn’t eaten in weeks.

When she was done, she licked her fingers, wanting to eat more, but feeling too full. She sat back with a ‘whooof’ sound. “Wow. They were so good.” Lan Zhan had a pleased look on her face, which was thoroughly deserved. “I still can’t believe you made them yourself.” She eyed the remaining eggs, anticipating the future pleasure of eating them. “If we had some of our own ducks we could have some on the go all the time.”

Lan Zhan tilted her head. “We could.”

Wei Ying’s eyes widened. “Have ducks?” Lan Zhan nodded. “Oh wow, we could.” A whole world of possibilities that she hadn’t considered for the garden started to grow in her mind. “We could make a pond for them with a little run.” Lan Zhan’s smile grew at Wei Ying’s enthusiasm. “And maybe some chickens! And goats!”

“One step at a time,” Lan Zhan said. “But yes, eventually.”

Wei Ying wanted to throw herself into Lan Zhan’s arms, but couldn’t get up quickly enough. Instead she reached out and gripped Lan Zhan’s hand. “Would you really want to?”

Lan Zhan’s face was soft as she looked at Wei Ying. “Of course.” Then she ducked her head at Wei Ying’s bump. “And taking care of animals will be good for the baby too.”

Wei Ying covered her mouth with her other hand, imagining a toddler waddling around after chickens and ducks. The thought was just too delightful. She met Lan Zhan’s eyes and could see she was thinking the same.

“I could be in charge of the animals, and you the plants.” Wei Ying felt a giddiness she hadn’t anticipated. Sure, they could justify Wei Ying taking it easy now, but when the baby was born and growing up, she had to be of use.

Lan Zhan nodded, tilting her head. “You could.”

Wei Ying clapped her hands, then looked down at her belly, patting it. “Hear that, baby? Better hurry up and get here so that you can play with ducks and chickens.” She had a sudden idea and looked up at Lan Zhan. “And bunnies.” Lan Zhan’s smile was worth it.

“And bunnies,” she agreed. Lan Zhan leaned in and spoke quietly to Wei Ying’s bump. “Hurry up, baby.”

Wei Ying came out of the bathroom, torn between rubbing her aching belly and her aching back. Lan Zhan looked up at her as she almost staggered into the kitchen. “Stomach still upset?”

Wei Ying pulled a face, but nodded. It was her fifth trip to the bathroom that morning.

Being pregnant certainly removed any pretence of dignity. Somehow Lan Zhan knew about all of her bodily functions and, most bizarrely, it didn’t seem to bother her. Wei Ying felt more concerned herself, although increasingly less so as her due date had drawn near. At one of her last appointments a woman who was on her third pregnancy – third! – had advised her to ‘leave your dignity on the doorstep when you arrive at the hospital, and don’t bother picking it back up on the way out.’

Wei Ying had laughed, but as she got closer and closer to giving birth she felt so much of that concern dropping away. If it meant having her body back from the wriggling, writhing beast that always stirred right when she was trying to sleep, she would take any number of people knowing her bathroom habits. She would post them willingly on the internet, for all to read, to not be woken up by a heel to her diaphragm again.

Lan Zhan helped Wei Ying get into one of the chairs, then started to prepare some more dates and pineapple. As good as they were meant to be for her and the baby, Wei Ying was sick of the sight of both. But when she had suggested not having anymore, Lan Zhan had got that pinched look she got when she was unhappy. Lan Zhan seemed to see it as her job to make sure Wei Ying was as healthy as possible, so Wei Ying could do what she needed.

What Wei Ying needed was to get the baby out of her. She pushed up to her feet again and Lan Zhan raised her eyebrows.

“It hurts too much,” she explained. “The chair is making my back ache.” She stomped, as much as she could, into the lounge and tried to sit on the sofa, but she had barely made it down before she wanted to stand again. She let out a shriek of frustration. “I can’t get fucking comfortable!”

Lan Zhan, who had followed her into the lounge with the stupid little dishes of dates and pineapple, paused to eye her.

“Don’t fucking look at me like that, the baby can’t understand swearing yet,” Wei Ying snapped. Lan Zhan had suggested that they cut cursing out of their vocabulary on the run up to the birth, so they would be used to it by the time the baby was born. Lan Zhan never swore, but Wei Ying had found her diplomacy amusing and gone along. But that had been when she was at seven months pregnant and not unable to even sit down anymore.

Lan Zhan placed the dishes down. “Wei Ying, this could be a sign that labour may be on the way.”

“What,” Wei Ying scoffed, “me being a total bitch to you when you don’t deserve it?” She rocked her hips, trying to get the ache in her back to loosen. “Then I’ve been in labour for years.”

Lan Zhan’s mouth quirked into a small smile and it made Wei Ying laugh, holding her belly so it wouldn't jiggle too much.

“Does this feel different to the previous false contractions that you’ve had?” Lan Zhan tilted her head. Though it wasn’t an uncommon gesture from her, this time it made Wei Ying feel like she was a specimen to be studied and felt another wave of irritation.

“Not really?” She thought. “Maybe? I don’t fucking know.” She was swearing deliberately now. “I can’t settle.”

Lan Zhan made a considering sound. “These are all possible signs of labour.”

“I fucking know!” Wei Ying snapped, then she closed her eyes. “Sorry, sorry, Lan Zhan.”

Lan Zhan came over and stood behind Wei Ying, hands dropping to massage Wei Ying’s lower back. “I wish I could help more.” Her voice was close, low and rich in Wei Ying’s ear. She felt an inexplicable pang of arousal lance through her and sighed, letting Lan Zhan take some of her weight.

Wei Ying turned her head and nuzzled against Lan Zhan’s neck. “You help more than enough.” She kissed the soft skin, letting her tongue brush it. “Hey, I heard that sex can help bring on labour too, right?”

She felt rather than heard Lan Zhan’s low laugh. “Possibly not the best plan right now.”

Wei Ying sighed, but she knew Lan Zhan was right.

Her aches and pains intensified, but she didn’t want to bug Lan Zhan with them. She couldn’t get comfortable, sitting, then standing, then walking around the kitchen, the veranda, the garden. Lan Zhan seemed to be everywhere she was, while never seeming to follow or hover. She just happened to be weeding that patch, watering those plants, fixing that bit of railing. It would have made Wei Ying laugh if she hadn’t felt so miserable in her own body.

It was almost a relief when the general aches and pressure lanced suddenly into a crippling spasm that rocked through her entire body. She barely managed to gasp out, “Lan Zhan!” and Lan Zhan was there, holding her up, gripping her tight.

“Hospital,” Lan Zhan bit out, and Wei Ying could only nod as her body shuddered.

When the contraction was over, Lan Zhan made Wei Ying sit on one of the benches while she ran to grab Wei Ying’s bags, already long prepared. Wei Ying had never seen Lan Zhan run like that before. She couldn’t sit, though, full of adrenalin, and pushed up to her feet, starting the walk to the truck.

Lan Zhan found her doubled over, gripping one of the pomelo trees for support as another contraction wracked her.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan admonished, but her hands on Wei Ying’s back were gentle and supporting.

They made it to the truck. Then they made it to the hospital. It was an hour drive, but Wei Ying couldn’t remember much of it. Just pain and effort. Just her whole body getting in on the labour action, curling around her belly, which was hard with strain.

The doctors and nurses tried to settle Wei Ying into a bed, but she shoved them off, desperate to get their hands off her and stay standing.

“I can’t,” she gasped out. “I need to stand, to walk.”

The doctor, a middle-aged man, nodded at her condescendingly and Wei Ying wanted to punch him.

Thankfully the doctor left and the nurse helped Wei Ying get down to the business of giving birth. Lan Zhan was there through it all, wiping her face, giving her sips of water, holding Wei Ying’s hand even when she must have been crushing it in return.

The pain was intense and everything seemed drag by, disappearing into a neverending fog of effort, breathing, and pushing. Her body had a mind of its own, but she kept going, giving it everything she had, until finally, eventually, it was over and her baby, their baby, was placed in her arms.

“He’s perfect,” Wei Ying breathed. She looked up at Lan Zhan to find her eyes shining. She reached out a hand and tugged Lan Zhan closer, until she half-sat on the bed, arm around Wei Ying’s shoulders. “Look, Lan Zhan.”

“Mn. He is.” Lan Zhan’s voice was low, thick.

Wei Ying laughed, a breathless, exhausted sound. “Hi, A-Yuan.”

Lan Zhan drove so cautiously it was almost comical. The hour drive took closer to two, and Wei Ying teased Lan Zhan, but she understood. A-Yuan was so tiny. He seemed so fragile in a way he hadn’t while still inside her. Then he had been a wriggling, shoving mass, stamping on her bladder. Now he was small and delicate. Just looking at his hands made her feel swept away with love and fierce protectiveness.

When they finally made it home, Lan Zhan seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. She jumped out and opened Wei Ying’s door, taking A-Yuan’s baby carrier carefully, then holding her hand out to help Wei Ying down.

Inside the house everything felt – different. It was the same, familiar, everything as they had left it when Lan Zhan had bundled them into the truck, but now it had A-Yuan in it. A baby. A tiny, new, fresh human. For Wei Ying to fuck up.

She started to breathe hard.

“Lan Zhan,” she said Lan Zhan, who had been bustling around, getting ready to move A-Yuan, stopped and looked at her. “Can we do this?” A-Yuan was sleeping, but he would wake up. He would have all sorts of needs and – She felt her eyes welling with tears. “He’s going to depend on me and I have no idea what I’m doing.” She took in a shuddering breath. “What do I do?”

Lan Zhan came straight over to her and wrapped her arms around Wei Ying. “You will be a wonderful mother.” Wei Ying wept into her shoulder, not really clear why she was crying, but feeling so overwhelmed with a need to do everything right, terrified that she would fail. “We will do this together.”

She clung to Lan Zhan and breathed. Together. She couldn’t ruin everything, make all of the mistakes, if Lan Zhan was there, could she? Lan Zhan was perfect, she would make sure that Wei Ying didn’t fail at this.

Lan Zhan rocked her, humming a quiet, lovely song, until Wei Ying’s tears dried up into sniffles. They pulled back and Lan Zhan smiled at her, stroking her hair gently, interrupted by a rustling from A-Yuan and the faint beginnings of a cry.

They got back to the task of doting.

Later that evening, when they were finally going to bed, Wei Ying held A-Yuan close to her, knowing that she should separate off, but so very loath to not have Lan Zhan by her side. She wanted to take Lan Zhan with her, for them to stay together. Lan Zhan, hovering, seemed to almost want the same. She was a few seconds away from taking a deep breath and just committing to going alone to her room, when Lan Zhan burst out with, “Sleep in my room.”

Wei Ying opened her mouth, blinking. “Your room?”

Lan Zhan’s ears were flushed crimson, but she took a breath and seemed to compose herself slightly more. “Yes. I can help with A-Yuan if he wakes in the night. And –” She bit her lip and Wei Ying couldn't help but stare at the uncharacteristic sign of being unsure. “And – and –”

“Yes,” Wei Ying interrupted before Lan Zhan could second-guess herself and possibly withdraw the offer. “Yes, it’s a great idea.” She couldn’t help the beam of joy on her face. “A-Yuan would miss you if you weren‘t there.”

The small look of pleasure that suffused Lan Zhan’s face made Wei Ying’s heart swell.

It took them a while to get settled, especially as Wei Ying had to try not to look like she was ogling Lan Zhan’s room, committing things to memory. A-Yuan grumbled a little when Wei Ying placed him in his basket, making her tear up at how cute he was. Like a tiny old man, making his woes known. She stroked his round belly until he drifted back to sleep, then flopped back on the bed with a huff.

She watched upside down as Lan Zhan emerged from her bathroom, face scrubbed and night clothes on. The sight made Wei Ying sit up and look again. Lan Zhan evidently slept in low-slung pyjama pants and a ribbed, strappy top that clung almost indecently to her breasts. Her short hair was damp and pushed back off her face. The whole look made Wei Ying’s mouth water. She wanted to push up the top and put her mouth on Lan Zhan.

The pang of arousal brought with it a pang of pain, reminding her that the hospital had recommended waiting six weeks before having sex. But that had been with a man, she was sure. The implication had certainly been that Wei Ying should refrain from taking something into her, but surely Lan Zhan’s mouth on her didn’t count?

Or, well, even if it did, surely it didn’t count her mouth on Lan Zhan?

Wei Ying felt herself flushing with the thought. They hadn’t done…that. Lan Zhan had gently dissuaded Wei Ying from using her hands or her mouth, which Wei Ying had accepted at the time. She had been pregnant and full of hormones. Lan Zhan must have been thinking the same and not wanting to get into a habit that birth would break for them.

But maybe…? She wasn’t pregnant now?

Lan Zhan’s voice broke her out of her revere. “Wei Ying.” Wei Ying looked up at her, blinking. “Bathroom.”

Wei Ying groaned. “No, Lan Zhan, I’m too tired.” When Lan Zhan’s stare didn’t relent, she pushed up to her feet, muttering, and went to perform her nightly ablutions. Lan Zhan had set her out a new toothbrush, which was so very thoughtful, and made her smile despite her tiredness. They had talked at length before the birth about how Wei Ying would do the month, and being able to brush her teeth and at least hand-wash somewhat had been dealbreakers - there was no way she wasn’t going to do that.

When she was done, Wei Ying came out to find Lan Zhan lying on her stomach, peering over the edge of the bed at A-Yuan, a peaceful look on her face. Wei Ying smiled at the sight.

“Watching our son sleeping?”

Lan Zhan looked up at her, the same soft look on her face. “Mn.” She looked back down at A-Yuan. “He looks like you.”

Wei Ying smiled and walked around the bed. Lan Zhan shifted over just enough to let Wei Ying climb in and spooned up behind her when she had settled. Their hips settled together, knees bent, and Wei Ying sighed happily at the touch of Lan Zhan’s lips to the nape of her neck.

The confinement month went by so quickly that Wei Ying was shocked to realise it was coming to an end. Lan Zhan had made it all seem so effortless, making her the right meals with the right ingredients she had grown either in their garden, or sourced in the months leading up and stored ready for use. Her meals had lots of ginger, to make up for the spices she wasn’t allowed, and daily “snacks” of goji berries and jujubes.

She was definitely looking forward to a shower, though. And a different variety of foods. And getting out of the house! She understood the value of the month and had really enjoyed it, but was glad it was done.

Wei Ying and Lan Zhan took to tying A-Yuan to them with a wide sash that Lan Zhan had researched for the purpose. He was so light, but after carrying him for any length her arms started to tire. Lan Zhan seemed to manage a little better, her biceps thicker from more time spent in the garden, but she definitely seemed to enjoy working with A-Yuan tucked against her, asleep.

Wanting to walk for her postpartum health, now that she was outside the first month, Wei Ying also liked to strap A-Yuan to her and saunter around the garden, pausing to stoop down here and there to do some weeding, leaving the unwanted plants to wither on the paths in little piles, until Lan Zhan tidied them away into the compost.

Things were settling into a routine, led by A-Yuan’s tiny demands. Wei Ying felt happier than she had in years. Now that A-Yuan was there and she could see how happy it made Lan Zhan, she felt like a final weight had been lifted. They were a family. They were together.

The first day that Wai Ying went outside, the first thing she noticed was a new chair, arranged on the veranda by the table just outside the kitchen. She paused to stare at it. It was wide, with low, flat arms, made of bamboo.

She turned to look at Lan Zhan, who was clearly trying to suppress a smile.

“What’s this?” She pointed at the chair, which had a series of cushions on it, making it appear extremely comfortable.

Lan Zhan nodded towards it. “For you. For A-Yuan.”

Wei Ying gave a small laugh. “You made it?” She didn’t need to wait for Lan Zhan’s nod; she knew. This was what Lan Zhan had bought the bamboo for. In everything happening, she had forgotten entirely.

She handed A-Yuan over to Lan Zhan and dropped into the chair. It was perfect. Completely perfect. It cradled her back at the perfect angle for holding A-Yuan, and the frame supported her arms, so they wouldn’t get tired. She could lean back and probably even nap in it, but it was still upright enough that she could access the table, eat, drink.

She turned awed eyes on Lan Zhan, who was watching her with a pleased, satisfied air. She held out her hands and Lan Zhan leaned in to give A-Yuan back to her. She wriggled in delight at the perfect fit. She had no idea how Lan Zhan had managed to get all of the measurements right.

“Lan Zhan.” She held Lan Zhan gaze. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

Lan Zhan ducked her head. “No need for thanks between us.”

Wei Ying was just finishing up nursing A-Yuan when the bell by the gate clanged. Lan Zhan had installed it while Wei Ying was doing her month. It meant they could lock the gate, which settled an anxiety in Wei Ying about A-Yuan’s safety that she hadn’t even realised she'd had. Knowing visitors couldn’t just stroll into the garden made her feel more relaxed, but of course they still needed a way for people to alert them they were there.

Wei Ying was on the veranda, just outside the kitchen, sitting in the comfortable chair that Lan Zhan had made for her. She lifted A-Yuan to her shoulder to pat his back, her towel in place just in case he brought up some of the milk. She felt like an old pro now, even while simultaneously marvelling at how strange it was to be trusted in charge of this small person.

Lan Zhan was out in the garden, so when the bell clanged again Wei Ying continued ignoring it. Lan Zhan was probably on her way, disentangling herself from whatever task she had been in the middle of. There was always so much for Lan Zhan to do, but whenever Wei Ying offered to help, Lan Zhan gave her The Look and said, “You are recovering and taking care of our son.” It made Wei Ying glow. “Our” son. Hers and Lan Zhan’s.

A-Yuan let out a gusty, sharp burp and Wei Ying burst out laughing at how loud it was. She brought him down from her shoulder, still laughing.

“How rude, A-Yuan! What a noisy boy!” A-Yuan watched her with a focus and adoration that was hard to not smile and laugh at. Lately A-Yuan also seemed to be trying to smile back at her. It was different from the mouth twitching that had happened before. He looked at her when she laughed and his mouth moved. She was sure he would be smiling and laughing very soon.

“You’re going to be so smiling and laughing, aren’t you, baby,” she told A-Yuan. When his mouth opened and closed she laughed again. “Yes you are! We’re going to make you the happiest baby in the whole world!”

“A-Ying!”

Wei Ying’s head snapped around at the voice, sure she must be imagining it. Sure she must be mistaken. But Yanli was there, next to Lan Zhan, now breaking into a run towards the veranda. Wei Ying felt breathless, her heart hammering.

“A-jie –” she managed to croak out. She stood, clutching A-Yuan to her, desperate to throw herself into Yanli’s arms, but clinging to her baby.

Yanli ran up the steps to the veranda, her eyes full of joy as she looked at Wei Ying, her gaze dropping to A-Yuan, then rising back up.

“A-Ying.” She stopped in front of Wei Ying, her hands coming up to cup her shoulders. “Oh A-Ying, look what you did.”

Her voice was so full of joy and pride that Wei Ying couldn’t stop the sudden flow of tears down her face. “A-jie.” Her voice hitched with tears, and she saw that Yanli had started to cry as well. “You’re here.”

Yanli’s hands gripped her tighter and Wei Ying moved in against her, A-Yuan safe between them. “I’m here, mei-mei, I’m here.”

They rested against each other, both crying and saying very little, until Lan Zhan brought out some tea, which broke them apart. Wei Ying sniffled, shifting A-Yuan over so that she could wipe her eyes, then gestured for Yanli to sit.

Yanli sat down, but her eyes were still on Wei Ying and A-Yuan. “May I hold him?”

Wei Ying laughed. “Of course!” She thrust A-Yuan at Yanli, who cradled him correctly without even having to be shown. “This is A-Yuan.” Seeing her jiejie holding him so close, bending over him tenderly, repeating his name, made Wei Ying’s throat thicken again.

Lan Zhan held out some tissues and Wei Ying gave a low, damp laugh. “Thank you.” Lan Zhan just nodded, a small smile on her face.

Wei Ying turned back to Yanli, who seemed to have been watching the exchange. “What are you doing here? Why aren’t you in Singapore? How did you find me?”

All of the questions seemed to take a lot of telling. Yanli had been in Singapore and unable to get hold of Wei Ying, whose online accounts had all gone dormant. Their family had seemed to know something, but wouldn’t explain anything. They just told her that there was nothing to worry about.

“I saw some very strange things, so I didn’t really believe them without speaking to you.” Yanli gently rocked A-Yuan while she spoke, almost unconsciously. A-Yuan had eyed her for a few moments, then drifted off. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Wei Ying knew that Yanli was trying to spare her mentioning the horrible rumours that had been spread. She had tried not to think about Yanli seeing anything. It had been easy enough to focus on burying her head in pregnancy and then A-Yuan.

“I thought that maybe you were avoiding me, avoiding everyone, just working and staying away from it all. But the more I pushed to be allowed to speak to you, the more vague everyone got.” Yanli sounded annoyed, her lips pursing. It made Wei Ying feel a glow of warmth, knowing that Yanli had tried so much.

Finally she had been able to come back to Shanghai, travelling ahead of Zixuan, to reopen their house in preparation for moving back.

“You’re coming back for good?” Wei Ying interjected. At Yanli’s happy nod, Wei Ying clapped in excitement. “A-jie!”

Yanli smiled, but looked down to check that the noise hadn’t woken A-Yuan. Lan Zhan, a quiet observer to the conversation, said, “He is used to Wei Ying.”

Wei Ying laughed, throwing her head back. “He is!” She looked back at Yanli. “He can sleep through anything.” She knew there was a lot of pride in her voice, but A-Yuan deserved it. She jiggled her legs. “But why are you coming back? I thought you were meant to be in Singapore for at least another year?”

Yanli shrugged one shoulder. “Some things changed. It moved our timeline.” Wei Ying made a questioning face, but Yanli waved her off. “I’ll tell you all about that later, first this.”

Wei Ying nodded and Yanli went on, describing how she had returned home a few weeks before, excited to be back and looking forward to finally getting to see Wei Ying, to confirm she was alright.

“That was when I found out what they had done to you.” Her voice was low, real anger laced through it. Her jaw was tight. Wei Ying had never seen her so angry at her family and it made Wei Ying feel antsy. She didn’t want to be the cause of friction for Yanli and her parents or brother.

“I mean, it was my fault really, I was – I didn’t –” She swallowed around a thick throat, licking her lips as Yanli and Lan Zhan both turned fierce looks her way.

“Wei Ying – “

“A-Ying, no –”

They both paused when they realised that the other had started speaking, but then Lan Zhan gestured for Yanli to go on.

“I know you didn’t do all of those things that horrible man said.” She held Wei Ying’s gaze until Wei Ying nodded, not trusting her voice. “You wouldn’t do those things. But Jiang Cheng finally broke and told me that you were pregnant.” Yanli shook her head and when she looked at Wei Ying again there were tears back in her eyes. “They kicked you out?”

Wei Ying felt like she couldn’t move or speak to confirm, but Lan Zhan spoke up. “They did.”

Yanli nodded like she had suspected. “No one would tell me where you had gone, but I found out you weren’t working at the company anymore, and that no one knew where you had gone. They made it sound like you left by choice, that you just disappeared, but I knew you would have at least let me know.”

Wei Ying nodded urgently. “I didn’t have my phone.” She felt a wash of guilt though. She could have asked Lan Zhan to take her to an internet cafe and found some way to get back into one of her accounts. But it had been easier to remain here, in the bubble Lan Zhan had created, away from all of that. She had been so sure that everyone would have written her off. When Jiang Cheng had even believed the lies, she had assumed that Yanli must too. But – “I should have tried harder to –”

Yanli interrupted her, voice sharp. “No.” She seemed to realise she had been terse and glanced down at A-Yuan to check that she hadn’t disturbed him. He hadn’t even twitched. “No, A-Ying,” she went on. “Your own family threw you out. All of your friends online had –” she gestured to encompass everything “because of your boyfriend, who you should have been able to trust. Of course you didn’t know what else to do but to get through it.”

Wei Ying shook her head, guilt rising. “I should have trusted you more, I should have found a way –”

Lan Zhan reached out and took her hand, lacing their fingers together. Wei Ying gripped her back with both hands.

Yanli had leaned forward. “Please don’t, A-Ying. Please. I’m not angry at you, I’m just so happy you had somewhere to go.” She nodded at Lan Zhan. “Someone to take you in.” She bounced A-Yuan slightly. “That you have this beautiful boy.” She sighed. “Please don’t make yourself feel bad for any of it. I’m just happy that I found you.”

Wei Ying swallowed and gave a watery smile. “I’m so happy you found me. How did you?”

Lan Zhan interjected. “Brother?”

Yanli gave a small, huffed laugh. “Exactly. I hoped that Wei Ying had come to you, but I didn’t know where you were, just the loose description that Wei Ying had given me. But I knew your brother would know. It just took me time to run him down.” Wei Ying raised her eyebrows. “Well, I didn’t know where he lived now, and I don’t have his contacts. He’s pretty private online, and to meet with him through his work needs an appointment weeks in advance.”

Wei Ying barked a laugh. “You got an appointment through his work?”

Yanli nodded, smiling. “I did! I used Zixuan’s connections. He was pretty embarrassed when he saw it was me, but he gave me your address.” She stroked a gentle hand across A-Yuan’s head. “He also told me that you’d had the baby already.” She looked back up at Wei Ying. “I was so excited to meet him.” She stroked his head again. “My tiny nephew.”

“He is.” Wei Ying felt like a bright glow was burning in her chest looking at the two of them together. Her sister and her son, and next to her, still holding her hand, her Lan Zhan. She wasn’t sure why she had ever wanted anything else material in her life. Remembering a desire for designer clothes or a new phone, all seemed so far away and no longer important.

When Yanli looked back up from A-Yuan her eyes were bright. “So, do you think he’ll be excited to have a cousin?”

Wei Ying’s mouth dropped open. “A-jie! You’re not!”

Yanli nodded, beaming. “I am, I am. Nearly four months now.” She gestured down at herself. “Not much to see yet, but I’ll definitely want your advice.”

Wei Ying clapped a hand to her chest. “I’ll tell you everything!” She lifted her hand holding Lan Zhan’s and shook it. “And Lan Zhan can help too, she was there all the way through it and looked after me so well.” She beamed at Lan Zhan, who smiled at her, soft and indulgent. “She still looks after me.”

Yanli looked at Lan Zhan and nodded her head. “Thank you, Lan Zhan, for taking care of my sister.”

Lan Zhan nodded back. “It is always my pleasure.”

Yanli couldn’t stay over, but she would stay for dinner. Lan Zhan went inside to start preparations and Wei Ying took Yanli for a walk around the gardens. She put A-Yuan in his sling and she showed Yanli all of the things that she recognised, or had helped with.

“That’s mint,” she pointed out. “Lan Zhan started growing it when I got here. She made teas with it that really helped my sickness.”

Yanli pulled a face. “Yes.”

Wei Ying nodded in sympathy. “I’ll get Lan Zhan to pick some for you to take away with you. It really did help.”

Yanli smiled and linked arms with Wei Ying. “I’m so happy that you found your way back to each other.”

Wei Ying beamed. “Me too. She’s the best.”

“She is.” Yanli sighed. “I always suspected how she felt about you, but I didn’t know you felt the same way. It’s lovely to see the two of you so in love.”

Wei Ying stopped, shock and embarrassment coursing through her. “What do you mean?” Yanli shook her head like she didn’t understand what Wei Ying was asking. “What do you mean how she felt about me?”

Yanli gestured. “You know, how she’s in love with you.” Wei Ying felt like her heart skipped two beats, but Yanli just tilted her head and went on. “She was so careful to try and hide it, but I could see how much she cared. I’m pretty sure she didn’t think you would reciprocate, so to see you both so happy together, with your son, is wonderful.”

Wei Ying’s thoughts were raging, trying to make sense of everything. Lan Zhan had been in love with her? Since when? And was it really so clear how Wei Ying felt about Lan Zhan? Did Lan Zhan know? And Yanli knew about them, that they were together, and she wasn’t upset or angry or disgusted. She was happy for Wei Ying, happy for Lan Zhan.

Yanli had started to walk again, moving towards the pomelo tree and saying something about the size of the fruit. Wei Ying tried to shake off the riot of thoughts and emotions and focus on the walk. She pushed the feelings aside and just concentrated on talking. She could do that, she was used to it.

Wei Ying waited until she had finished feeding A-Yuan and he was settled down to say anything. She had no idea what she was going to say, how she was going to say it, until it just came out.

She watched Lan Zhan as she readied for bed, heart beating too rapidly. She suddenly regretted waiting, putting it off until now, because if it didn’t go well, they would still have to share a bed. Or Wei Ying would have to move back down to her old bedroom. She didn’t want that, she loved sleeping next to Lan Zhan.

“Lan Zhan.” The words burst out of her as Lan Zhan finally lifted up the covers. Lan Zhan paused. Wei Ying licked her lips and swallowed reflexively. “Lan Zhan, do you like me?”

That hadn’t been what she had meant to say. She had meant to tell Lan Zhan how she felt, but the thought Yanli had put into her head was right there. To make up for it, she quickly stammered out, “Because I like you. I – I – I like you. A lot.”

Lan Zhan remained still, watching Wei Ying, who was wringing her hands together. When the silence became too much, Wei Ying opened her mouth to speak again, not even knowing what she was planning to say, but Lan Zhan finally spoke.

“I do.” She wasn’t looking at Wei Ying now. Her eyes were on the bed.

“You do?” Wei Ying got up onto her knees and shuffled closer to Lan Zhan. “Do you?”

Lan Zhan looked up at her. “I do.”

Wei Ying laughed, she couldn’t help it. “You like me?” At Lan Zhan’s nod she couldn’t help it, she leaned forward, almost toppling, and gripped onto Lan Zhan’s shoulders. Lan Zhan’s arms circled her immediately, holding her up. “Lan Zhaaaaaan.” Wei Ying buried her face into Lan Zhan’s neck.

After a moment, Lan Zhan pulled back. “You like me?” She sounded quiet, like she wasn’t sure.

“Didn’t you hear me?” Wei Ying grinned at her. “I like you so much. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

Wei Ying couldn’t be sure who moved in first, but they were kissing. It was urgent and messy, like it was their first time all over again. Wei Ying laughed into it and shuffled her knees closer so they were touching all along their fronts.

Wei Ying broke the kiss. “Hey, jiejie, look, I can get closer to you without my bump in the way!” She wriggled her hips against Lan Zhan, who cupped under her backside and lifted slightly to push her further onto the bed, then climbed on after. Wei Ying clung on, dragging Lan Zhan back to her, desperate to feel her close, to know that this was real.

Both kneeling, they quickly all but toppled while kissing. Wei Ying laughed again, unable to stop with the giddiness bubbling inside of her. She shifted her legs around to the front and Lan Zhan took the opportunity to push her back into the bed, lying on top. Wei Ying knew where it was going and she didn’t want that. Or she did want it, but she wanted something else first.

“Wait, jiejie,” Wei Ying muttered into their kiss. Lan Zhan paused and Wei Ying used it as a chance to roll them until she was on top, leaning down to kiss Lan Zhan, then shifting to the side so she could get her hands on Lan Zhan’s body. She stroked down, fingers finding the hem of Lan Zhan’s underwear, and slipped her fingers underneath.

A hand gripped her wrist and held her from going any further. Wei Ying jerked out of the kiss. “What?”

Lan Zhan shook her head. “You don’t have to.”

Wei Ying frowned, confused. “I know.”

“I don’t need you to do that.” There was something about Lan Zhan’s look that made her seem – nervous?

“Do you not want me to? Wei Ying asked. Lan Zhan looked at her and swallowed. “Because if you don’t want to, that’s fine, but –” she waved a hand, glanced down Lan Zhan’s body, licked her lips. “But if you’re just worried about me,” she laughed, a breathless sound, “you really don’t have to be. I want this.”

Lan Zhan’s gaze was intense, lips parted as she looked at Wei Ying. “You want this?”

Wei Ying moved closer. “Yes. Jiejie, yes.” She reached out and cupped Lan Zhan’s jaw. “I want this. I want you.”

Their eyes held for another second and then Lan Zhan dragged her back into a kiss, so deep and consuming that Wei Ying felt she could hardly breathe. Lan Zhan rolled them so she could press Wei Ying into the mattress with her whole body, but Wei Ying pushed back, breaking out of the kiss to mutter, “Let me, Lan Zhan.”

Lan Zhan rolled back, pulling Wei Ying with her and spreading her legs. Wei Ying grinned into the kiss and reached down to help Lan Zhan pull off her underwear. She then pushed her hands up Lan Zhan’s ribbed vest and made it clear she wanted that to come off too. When Lan Zhan’s breasts appeared Wei Ying couldn’t help a small groan and she leaned down to lick one, teasing the nipple with the tip of her tongue. Lan Zhan made a tiny, helpless sound that Wei Ying filed away for later. Right now she had a plan.

She worked down Lan Zhan’s body, putting her mouth in all of the places she had looked at and wanted to touch like this, the little peeks of skin that would show when Lan Zhan was working around the house and garden. Lan Zhan’s hands were in her hair, holding it up and away from Wei Ying’s face so she could watch her. She even pulled it a little, which made Wei Ying pant.

As she got closer to the dark spread of hair between Lan Zhan’s legs Wei Ying felt an overwhelming flush of want. A tiny part of her mind pointed out that if it turned out she didn’t like it, it would have been an awful thing to do to Lan Zhan. But she pushed it away. Even if it wasn’t the most fun, she would enjoy making Lan Zhan feel good.

Wei Ying pressed her mouth into Lan Zhan’s pussy, her tongue coming out to taste without even a conscious thought. She moaned into it, surrounded by the warm, wet, and musky scent of Lan Zhan. Her own pussy throbbed in time as she kissed, wet and messy, no idea if what she was doing was the right way, but not caring right then. Lan Zhan’s huff of breath at least indicated it wasn’t the wrong way.

Lan Zhan’s grip on her hair got stronger and pressed Wei Ying’s face in further. It felt amazing and she licked a firm stripe between Lan Zhan’s folds, feeling the firm swell of her clit under her tongue. She swirled her tongue around it and Lan Zhan seemed to spasm, bucking her hips up into Wei Ying’s mouth and using her hold to grind against her. It was so hot that Wei Ying stopped moving, just letting her tongue work alongside Lan Zhan’s circling hips. She used the small sounds Lan Zhan was making, the breaks and gasps in her breaths, to find the movements that worked best and kept doing those.

As Lan Zhan ground against her, Wei Ying understood why Lan Zhan would get herself off while doing this to Wei Ying. Her own hips were jerking, pressing her thighs together to try and get more friction. She pulled a hand away from holding Lan Zhan’s thighs to thrust it down into her own underwear and get some relief and kept working. She wanted to stay there forever, listening to Lan Zhan, using her mouth until it was useless for anything else.

As she had the thought, Lan Zhan gave a series of jerks against her mouth and pressed her in, holding her there. She felt long, deep spasms against her tongue and realised that Lan Zhan was coming. She had made Lan Zhan come, with her mouth. She was elated, but also a little shocked that she had made it happen so soon. She had been prepared to take any time needed, and now wanted to immediately do it again.

Wei Ying looked up at Lan Zhan to watch her face, head thrown back and mouth open and she seemed to start to breathe again. She opened her eyes and looked down at Wei Ying, who took the opportunity to lick one more swipe and make Lan Zhan shudder. Then she pulled her mouth away.

“Can I do it again?” Wei Ying’s voice was low and broke slightly, like she was out of breath. She felt like she was, desperate to go down on Lan Zhan again, and to get herself off, her clit aching with need. But Lan Zhan seemed to have other ideas. She dragged Wei Ying up and kissed her, then rolled her while Wei Ying was still trying to figure out what was happening. Lan Zhan got them lying on their sides, pressed so tight up behind Wei Ying, and pushed Wei Ying’s hand out of the way, replacing it with her own.

Her mouth was pressed close to Wei Ying’s ear and as she fingered her, stroking her relentlessly, intent. She spoke to Wei Ying, her voice rough.

“Want you – only you. I love you, Wei Ying, love you so much, come for me, come on, I love you, love you, love you.”

The double onslaught, the physical pleasure and the words, was stunning. Lan Zhan’s other arm held her tight around her waist, then slid up to cup one breast. Lan Zhan’s pelvis was moving in time with her hand, making Wei Ying’s hips move too, and together it took less than a minute until Wei Ying was whining and gasping through an orgasm so intense she felt like she might actually start crying.

Lan Zhan's voice continued in her ear, crooning encouragement and endearments and Wei Ying came back down to her body, out of breath and happy beyond measure.

When Wei Ying woke up, she felt more deeply rested than she had since before she got pregnant. She smiled at the memory of the night before, even the part where Lan Zhan had made them get up to pee and wash up, taking care of her. They had gone to sleep nestled together. A pair. A couple.

Lan Zhan wasn’t in bed, but that wasn’t so unusual. Wei Ying wondered if she might feel a pang of worry about it, but she wasn’t concerned at all. Lan Zhan loved her. She would never lie about that.

A-Yuan wasn’t there either, so Lan Zhan must have taken him to feed him. They liked to bottle-feed him during the night so either of them could do it, and to make sure that he wouldn’t only eat directly from the breast. She also knew that Lan Zhan really enjoyed getting to do it.

Wei Ying rummaged through Lan Zhan’s clothes to pull on some of her comfy sweats, realising very belatedly why she had always liked wearing Lan Zhan’s clothes so much. There was so much she was going to have to look back on with new eyesight.

Lan Zhan was in the kitchen, A-Yuan in his sling. Wei Ying came up behind her and wrapped her arms around her, placing a soft kiss on Lan Zhan’s neck. “Morning.”

Lan Zhan turned, her face soft and happy. “Good morning.” Wei Ying couldn’t help leaning in for a slow kiss, Lan Zhan’s eyes falling closed and leaning in straight away.

They were broken apart by A-Yuan making a loud squeal, jolting Wei Ying into a laugh.

“I’m so sorry, little man.” She kissed his forehead. “Was Mama not paying you enough attention? I had to kiss your A-Ma first.” She gestured up at Lan Zhan’s face. “Look how beautiful she is! I didn’t have a chance.”

A-Yuan watched her with avid eyes and made another sound. She and Lan Zhan both laughed. Wei Ying couldn’t help her eyes dragging back up to Lan Zhan again.

“Hi.”

Lan Zhan’s eyes crinkled. “Hi.”

“I love you,” Wei Ying blurted out. “I meant to say it back last night, but –”

Lan Zhan shook her head, her ears bright pink. “You don’t have to –”

“Stop telling me what I don’t have to do! I know I don’t have to do anything.” She paused, looking at Lan Zhan. “But I want to. So much.”

They kissed again, and she could feel how much care there was in it from Lan Zhan. She couldn’t help smiling into their kiss, ruining it slightly. “How much do you like me, Jiejie?” Her tone was teasing and Lan Zhan huffed.

“Too much.”

Wei Ying barked out a laugh, then laughed more when A-Yuan wriggled excitedly at her. Lan Zhan looked so happy, more happy than Wei Ying had ever seen her before.

Lan Zhan kissed her again, then pulled away. “Come on, time for breakfast.”

Wei Ying sighed, a deep, happy breath of contentment. “Okay. Breakfast. Then we talk about getting those ducks."