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Alice shifts her weight from foot to foot and gives her girlfriend a sideways glance. Miranda meets her gaze and smiles. When Alice grimaces in return, Miranda grabs her hand and gives it a squeeze.
"It'll be fine," Miranda says. "They're going to love you."
"I still don't know why we couldn't do this at Camp Half-Blood. I'm out of my element here."
Miranda shrugs and knocks again on the door of her apartment. "They wanted to have a more formal meeting here. I think it's sweet. They want to get to know you."
"Yeah, they want to get to know whether I'll be good for you."
"They don't have that power. I've already decided that you're good for me, and if they disagree, then…."
"Then they can bite me," Alice offers.
Miranda laughs, a sound that helps the tension ease from Alice's mind. "Yes, that." She turns back to the door. "They're not answering. They're probably playing video games again. I'm just going to go in."
"You live here," Alice says, "why didn't you just go in in the first place?"
"I thought they'd be impressed if you were gentlemanly enough to knock."
"I wasn't even the one knocking."
"Yes, well." Miranda opens the door. "Billie, Sherman?"
The sound of gunshots makes Miranda flinch. Alice goes inside and pulls Miranda along by the hand. "Billie, Sherman!" she yells, much louder than Miranda.
The duo is in the living room, and they are indeed playing video games. Sherman is sitting on the edge of his seat, cursing repeatedly under his breath as Billie wins by a large margin with a smug smile.
"Hi," Miranda says. She takes her hand back from Alice, which makes Alice frown, but she has to acknowledge that it's probably a good move. Billie and Sherman are already skeptical of their relationship, they don't need another reason to distrust Alice.
"Welcome back," Billie says.
Sherman stands up and turns off the TV. "Right, done with that."
"Only cause you lost~!" Billie says in a singsong voice. Sherman gives her a rude gesture and she grins.
"Do you guys want to say hi to Alice?" Miranda prompts.
"Hi, Alice," Sherman says with all the enthusiasm of a highschooler being told to say the national anthem.
"Welcome to our humble abode," Billie adds, the smile gone and a hint of hostility in her voice. Alice almost reaches for Miranda's hand again, but thinks better of it.
"So, um," Alice says. "What's up with you two?"
"Oh, you know," Sherman says, "just meeting my little sister's new girlfriend who's a thief and a liar."
Alice gapes at him. "You're dating a child of Hermes! He's no better than I am!"
"Yeah, well, I'm old enough to know how to manage him!"
"I'm only a year younger than you," Miranda mutters. Then, louder, "It's ok, relax. Alice isn't going to steal from us. Or lie to us. Right, Alice?"
Alice looks at her. She gives Alice a pointed look. "Right," Alice says at last, although she silently mourns the idea of stealing the fancy headphones she saw in the entryway.
Miranda clears her throat and stares at Sherman. He crosses his arms. Billie nudges his shoulder, and he sighs. "Alright, alright. I'm… sorry."
"Good," Miranda says. She smiles around at them all. "So, who wants dinner?"
Various agreements. Alice relaxes again. Miranda has this effect on her- making her stop being so tense. Alice's world is too often a flurry of movement, of chaos, and Miranda is always the tether that keeps her sane. Miranda reminds her to slow down, to smell the flowers, to take care of herself. That's why Alice is so uncharacteristically nervous for this evening- she really wants to prove that she's worthy of the angel that is Miranda Gardiner.
Miranda leads the way to the kitchen, where Sherman serves up chili from a crockpot. Alice could swear that he glares at her the entire time he's scooping chili into her bowl.
They sit down at the table in the dining room, which comes as a bit of a surprise to Alice.
"You don't, like, eat in the living room?" she asks without thinking about it.
Billie snorts and slathers about a gallon of hot sauce into her chili. "Why would we do that?"
Alice shrugs. "I dunno. That's what I do when I'm home. The other Hermes kids usually do, too."
"Well, yeah," Sherman says, "because you're Hermes kids."
She raises her eyebrows. "Does Connor know that you talk like this about Hermes kids?"
He points his fork at her. (Seriously, who eats chili with a fork?) "If you tell him anything bad about me, I swear…."
"Sherman," Miranda chides, "she's a guest."
"Yeah, I'm a guest," Alice agrees with a superior smile, which earns her a quick glare from Miranda. She clears her throat and tries to sound a bit more humble (not her forte) when she asks, "Can I have the hot sauce? Please?"
Billie passes it and watches her with judging eyes as she pours a little bit of hot sauce on her chili. She resists the urge to point out that neither Miranda nor Sherman have any hot sauce at all, so really Billie shouldn't be looking at her like she doesn't have enough hot sauce.
"So," Alice says, trying to find a good topic to talk about. "Um, why do you all live here?"
Miranda almost spits out her mouthful of chili and she gives Alice a wide eyed look like why would you say that?! But it's too late for Alice to take it back.
Billie sits up straighter and looks down at Alice with a frown. "Because our mortal parents can't take care of us, and our godly parents don't care about us."
"Ah!" Alice fights a laugh, because her tendency is to laugh when she's uncomfortable, and she finds it hard to believe that anyone else in the room would appreciate laughter at the moment. "Right, that's… yeah. Um… why don't you live at Camp Half-Blood full time?"
"We used to," Sherman says. His voice is surprisingly not sharp. Not soft, of course, but at least he doesn't sound like he wants to stab her. "Billie started college this year, though, and she didn't want to live alone. Mir and I go back and forth from here to Camp during the school year."
Alice nods, and smiles. "Mir?"
Miranda shakes her head. "Don't call me that. Please, I love nicknames like 'honey' or 'darling,' but if you start calling me 'Mir,' too…."
Sherman grins at her. "I thought you liked that nickname!"
Miranda rolls her eyes, but a hint of a smile is on her lips. "No, you didn't, because I told you from the very beginning that I do not like that nickname."
"Connor's rubbing off on you," Alice notes. Sherman glares at her for a moment before shrugging and conceding that point.
After an awkward pause, Miranda asks, "Alice, how's your mom doing?"
Alice looks at her and understands what Miranda wants her to do. She explains to Billie and Sherman, "I'm a full time camper now, but I wasn't for a couple years because my mom has, um, cancer… I used to be the only one there to take care of her, but the monster attacks weren't helping, and I wasn't very good at fighting yet, so. She remarried last year and her husband is great, so I'm a full time camper now. I visit her on holidays and some weekends."
She clears her throat and scoops up a spoonful of chili, then drops it back into her bowl. Billie and Sherman are silent, but she thinks she can sense them being at least a little more sympathetic to her now. "And she's doing great. Thanks for asking."
The next half hour or so seems to go well. Every time there's a bump in the conversation, Miranda jumps in to fix it. Every time Alice starts tensing up again, Miranda squeezes her hand under the table, and Alice remembers how to relax. Billie and Sherman even seem to be warming up to Alice, which is a relief.
When dinner is almost over, Miranda stands up and announces, "I have to go to the bathroom. Be nice."
Alice blinks. "I'm offended that you think I won't be!"
"I wasn't talking to you." She smiles at Alice, and walks off.
As soon as the bathroom door closes, Sherman leans in. "If you hurt her, I swear-"
"I wouldn't!" Alice is shocked by how immediately her nerves come back in Miranda's absence. "I don't want her to get hurt either!"
Billie frowns disapprovingly at Sherman, and for one shining moment, Alice thinks Billie's about to come to her defense. But what she says is, "That wasn't even a threat." She turns her glare onto Alice. "If Miranda ever feels sad because of you, I will tear apart everything and everyone you love. Do you understand?"
Alice blinks, too taken aback to respond. Her mind flicks to everyone she loves: Julia, Miranda, Cecil, Connor, her mother, gods, even Ellis could make the list. After a moment, she says, "That's just my mom, then. If you hurt Connor or Ellis, Sherman will never forgive you. Obviously you can't hurt Miranda. And even if you tried to hurt Julia or Cecil, Connor would come back with a vengeance, and Sherman… may or may not take his side." She takes a bite of chili and says with her mouth full, "I'd like to keep my mom, though, so you have my word that Miranda will never cry because of me."
Billie blinks a few times, then shocks Alice by smiling. She exchanges a glance with Sherman, who shrugs, then turns back to Alice. "Well, then," she says. She holds out her hand, and after a moment, Alice shakes it. "You have my official blessing to date my little sister."
"To be clear," Sherman says, "you are not good enough for Miranda." Alice winces and bites back a snappy remark. "No one's good enough for Miranda." She waits for him to continue, but he just keeps eating.
Alice snorts. "Good thing you're not her biological brother, then."
Was there a worse thing she could've said? No, probably not. But she doesn't have much time to regret it because Sherman drops his spoon- no, sorry, fork, because he's eating chili with a fork- and jumps to his feet. Billie does, too, and she grabs his arms before he can launch himself over the table to attack Alice.
She sets down her spoon (she's eating her chili with a spoon like a NORMAL PERSON) and meets his eyes. He growls at her. Billie gives her a why would you do that sort of look.
"Let me make this clear," Alice says. "I love Miranda and she loves me. We're going to date whether you like it or not." She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. What would Miranda want her to say? "But… I'm sorry for… saying that. I know Miranda's your sister as much as she is Billie's. So, even though I don't need your blessing… I would like it."
She opens her eyes. Sherman is still on his feet and his eyes are still blazing with fury, but he doesn't seem to be making any violent moves, which she counts as a win.
"Um, excuse me?" Miranda says. Alice flinches and looks at the doorway, where Miranda is watching them with a nervous look. "What's going on?"
Billie sits down, and Sherman slowly follows her example.
"It's nothing," Alice says, even though she already knows that Miranda can see through her lies.
Miranda frowns and looks at Sherman. "Let me hear your side first."
"His side first?" Alice says. "What about my side?"
"I always hear his side first. Usually, everyone else's side makes it look bad for him. At least he's a bit more honest about who's to blame."
Sherman picks at his food and glares at it. There's a long pause before he finally says, "Your girlfriend said something dumb and… then admitted that it was dumb." He looks up and meets Alice's eyes. "I've gotta respect that bit, at least."
Alice gasps. "You respect me?!"
"I respect that bit, I said!" But he smiles, and Alice laughs, and the tension retreats from the room.
Miranda smiles and sits down beside Alice, and when Alice reaches for her hand over the table, Miranda lets her take it and neither Billie nor Sherman say anything about it.