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Dream wakes up.
It’s sudden and abrupt and no one is around. No one is there, just like when they had finally passed out. Alone as the moment they lost their souling.
Dream wakes up…but they wish, almost desperately, that they hadn’t.
Dream does not know how they made it back to their home. Maybe Ink had stuck around, maybe someone had taken pity on Dream in passing. Either way, Dream cannot find it in themselves to care.
They don’t care. They can’t , because inexplicably they survived but their souling didn't . Their souling, their precious little one that had not had even a chance to see life. Their little love…gone.
Dream doesn’t know how they survived ( maybe because Cross still cares, he wasn’t trying to kill us, he loves us ) but it hurts. The betrayal was so much worse than anything Nightmare had put them through so far. Cross could have been the one for Dream, could have been Dream’s reason for happiness and joy and a small part that felt selfish wanted to say that it was the least that they deserved. Their child would have been the ultimate proof that Dream was capable and worthy of love. (That they aren’t worthless, that Nightmare is wrong and Dream isn’t the problem, they’re loveable, they can be loved…)
They had been so close…so close and yet the blow had dealt a heavy loss. Perhaps if it had just been Dream who had been hurt, Cross may have been forgiven. Perhaps if the child had lived…but there were too many what if’s and the reality…the reality is that the child is gone. Their child is gone.
For a brief moment, Dream is angry. Dream is so terribly angry that Ink could dare to abandon them even knowing the balance is shifted so badly only acts of desperation are keeping the multiverse together. Angry at Nightmare for daring to hurt them in a moment of pure weakness in an unfathomable way that Dream can barely comprehend. Angry that Cross could give up so easily.
Finding the letter is like pouring salt on an open wound. Dream doesn’t want to read it, doesn’t want to know, but that same small part can’t help but demand an answer for why . Just as it cannot help but be soothed by the small acknowledgment of one last promise being kept.
Dream,
By the time you read this it will probably be too late. There’s no explanation I can give that will ever make up for what I’m about to do, but regardless I wish for you to know how desperately sorry I am.
I’m sorry I’m not stronger, because I can’t protect you and have very likely hurt you.
I’m sorry Nightmare somehow found out about my relationship with you.
I’m sorry I’ve never felt good enough and now I must have proven at least that much. You always could have done so much better than any of us.
You’re the best person I know and that’s why I love you. It’s not your aura, pleasant as it is. It’s not that you contrast Nightmare. It’s that you are so loving and giving and brave.
You’re so fucking brave. I don’t know how you manage. You fight every day and I am so privileged for having been given the chance to see it. You once told me that the problem with being a good person was that your heart is always on the line. I got the chance to see that and your heart is so damn beautiful it holds whatever is left of mine.
I lost a lot when I lost my AU, the least of it being my mind. Somehow you always managed to bring me back. Every day that I spent with you I felt blessed. You were giving me a gift you didn’t know you had.
Still don’t know you have.
Dream, you’re a blessing. I don’t know how Nightmare ever reached the point he did, I don’t know how he lost himself to madness, and I won’t pretend to understand what you have been through. I lost my brother and didn’t know what to do other than hate myself. I lost my brother, but that is nothing compared to what you live through every day. Even if my brother were to claim to hate me, I cannot fathom fighting against him and somehow you have the strength to not only go against Nightmare despite his hatred towards you and the blatant disregard he has for your feelings and well being, but somehow you still love him.
I have a difficult time picturing the Nightmare of before. You mention that he was so different and maybe that’s why I just can’t see it. All I know of Nightmare are his plans for destruction and chaos. All I know of him is his desire to see the multiverse destroyed and his hatred of everyone and everything. Sometimes it’s almost like he is focused specifically on hurting you. I don’t know if it’s because he feels some sort of attachment or if, somewhere, deep down he quite possibly still cares. I don’t know anything about him the way you do.
I know this betrayal will hurt you deeply, but Dream, I must continue to be a spy, even at the expense of my soul. You have my whole heart and all the love that I have left to give, but I would give my soul to see the multiverse, to see you safe. I once made you a promise, never to leave you without first letting you know why, in some way I hope this letter to be a means of keeping that promise.
Nightmare knows. Somehow, some way, he found out about us. He knew about us and he wanted me to be the one to hurt you. I can only imagine it makes the betrayal that much worse, but no matter what his demands are, I know I could never bring myself to kill you…
Dream scoffs. He couldn’t kill them, but their child…their child who Cross still knows nothing about. Their child that now neither of them will ever know.
It hurts and Dream feels the waves of pain hit them again. They’re so tired. They just want to finish reading this so that they can at least be done with this part of the betrayal. They’ll have to face the rest eventually, but right now all they can focus on is getting past this.
You are the last person I truly feel connected with, my darling Dream. I know I have no right to call you that any longer, but just one last time I had to, I’m sorry beloved, so terribly sorry.
One day, I hope you can forgive me. I don’t deserve it and I’ll never be able to make this betrayal up to you, but I hope you can forgive me.
Goodbye Dream.
Faithfully Yours,
Cross
Dream read the letter twice.
Dream couldn’t help it. Thankful for the soundproofing they put up on their home amongst the runes, they couldn’t help but finally scream.
They screamed for as long as they could, as loud as they could. If Dream were human there’s no doubt they would have damaged themselves. As it stands the damage is limited to a few more knicks around the throat where they clawed with their fingers uncovered by gloves.
They screamed until they cried and sobbed in broken hysterics on the floor of their living room. How could they not? Already they had lost everything they hoped for and their grief caused them such pain. Being a guardian was nothing more than a curse, and Dream could not help but wish that in another life, neither Night nor they would be enemies destined to fight. Pray that they were still siblings that loved each other entirely unburdened by the empathic abilities granted by their souls.
…their soul. Dream hadn’t thought about it, but the nicks and cracks in their soul were probably impacted by all the negativity they felt. Summoning their soul hurt, the gaping wound from the souling that had been torn from them too soon leaking and oozing the same negativity that tends to surround Nightmare. The first signs of corruption on the positivity guardian become so very clear.
Why did it have to be this way?
Why couldn't they have peace?
They were so close, if only Nightmare would just listen .
As it is, Dream sits alone, small sobs escaping their lips. The apple wrapped carefully so that Dream could avoid touching it pulled out in front of them. Is this the answer they were looking for all along?
The mere thought makes Dream shudder and sigh. Another choice practically taken from them. The corruption is already whispering that Dream needs to do this.
Don't you want Nightmare back? Prove you understand your sibling? All you have to do is take the bite…
Would Dream’s death give the others peace?
Dream didn’t know, isn’t sure they want to know, but Creator it hurts.
“You could always try writing a letter.”
It had been such an offhand comment, but maybe, maybe that will help. Maybe that will give not only Dream closure but anyone who finds it if anyone bothers to look. After all, it’s not like Dream has anything left to lose.
It takes a few minutes to locate paper and a pen. Dream’s first thought is to address the letter to Cross, but after everything…after everything, even Dream knows that it was Corruption that planned everything. Cross had been used and is the catalyst, but Corruption was truly the mastermind behind the majority of Dream’s pain. It’s hard to think of Nightmare as Corruption, but somehow it rings true and that as much as anything eases some of the pain in Dream’s soul. As much as it hurt that a being sharing their brother’s memories could be the one to make Dream suffer, it was the truth.
As plain and simple as it can get, that is the unfortunate truth and reality Dream must face.
Brother Moonlight Nighty Nightmare, Dream scrawls out onto the page.
Each crossed out line hurts, but there is no one else to address this letter too. Cross will never again be allowed here, but Dream could never block Nightmare. Not truly. There had been idle hope that maybe Nightmare would accept to come talk, to just coexist and allow the fighting to stop, but that was, in itself, the hopes and dreams of who Dream had once been.
A remnant of who they are no longer.
Staring blankly, Dream doesn’t know where to start the letter, but maybe that’s for the best, to write as whatever they think or feel comes to mind. Anything less would be unworthy.
So Dream writes. They write everything they can, every emotion and thought, everything they’ve so much as wished they could say. They write until there’s nothing left and an aching numbness settles in their bones.
It’ll be better this way, won’t it?
Dream cradles their head in their hands, staring down at the floor. Selfish…they’re so selfish, but they’re allowed to be aren’t they? Everyone else was. They took and took, and Dream…Dream doesn’t have anything more they can give. Dream’s so tired of fighting.
Dream’s just…done.
They don’t think about it anymore as they fold the letter and leave this AU for an abandoned one. They don’t need to do what Night did and destroy everything, they just want their death to be peaceful. So they sit, in their AU, near where their mother once stood and Night ate the apple.
Life’s a wheel that turns and returns and Dream can think of nowhere more fitting for them to eat the apple than home.
Dream bites…
…and it all…
…fades…
… away …