Work Text:
"I need you to throw me."
"...Wha'."
"Listen, I don't think I can take doing another goddamn pillar. These stupid bloody fucking constructs suck to deal with, we've only done two of them and I already feel like shit from the previous one! The fucking Pillar that was made of glass was fucking awful to deal with because the area needed for my stuff to charge it kept shrinking until my back had to be against the pillar- and- and that's not even taking into account these fucking orb spiders that come in and explode! Into hot coals!"
"I think it might actually be some form of liquid. I'unno, 'm not a chemist."
"It still burns and sucks to walk on. I'm surprised the vacuum seal in my spacesuit hasn't given out."
"Prob'ly acidic, then."
"...To be blunt with you, Loader, I don't... I don't really care for the hypothesis on whether or not it's acidic or some sort of moon gas that ignites via the stupid things exploding. Is there even fucking oxygen here?"
Mushrooms have sprouted up around him during this unhinged rant and the resulting conversation. They continue to sprout and die off.
"Wha'ever ya say, Cap'n."
"...Can you throw me, then?"
"Yeh, sure. Where to?"
"I think we're supposed to get up to that big pillar thing over there."
"Ye think?"
"Look, I don't have a fucking clue as to why there's some barrier that's preventing us from getting away on the escape shuttle." A pause. "We've tried orbital probes, my shotgun, my taser module that attaches to my shotgun, a fully charged blast from my shotgun, your exoskeleton punches, your thunder pylon thingymajig, and wrapping a hydraulic cord around it that came from your exoskeleton. Nothing's broken it, so there's probably some external thing powering it that we need to shut off."
"And ye reckon 's up there?"
"Most likely."
"A'ight." She picks him up in the hand of the exoskeleton, quite easily.
"...Don't worry about cracking any ribs or anything, it'll probably get healed back if I stand still for a few seconds."
The Loader gives a noncommittal hum, before throwing out her thunder pylon, grappling onto it, then throwing him up, as hard as she can.
The Captain faceplants into the giant tree-pillar's side.