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It’s a very average day, as far as Gong Jun's days are concerned. He started the morning with filming for his current drama, then pre-recorded several interviews before doing a photoshoot with his studio to show off the outfit he’s wearing to the fashion event he’s currently attending. He likes work, he enjoys being booked and busy and is under no illusions that he will always be this in demand.
It’s easy to remember when work wasn’t coming in like this, when he didn’t have a bank account that meant security for the rest of his life. He’s not going to take it for granted, and he really, truly, genuinely does like working.
At least this is what he’s telling himself as he suppresses the urge to check his phone for the eleventh time in the last five minutes.
This might be a very average day but tomorrow will be anything but.
Tomorrow, he has no work. Months ago, Zhehan had talked to his studio and asked for one day where Gong Jun had absolutely no commitments. Where he would be completely incommunicado, no matter what happened. One day just for them.
Gong Jun doesn’t know what Zhehan has planned for them. He had been completely tight lipped, no matter what Gong Jun had done to try and find out.
“Don’t worry, you’ll love it,” was all Zhehan had said.
Gong Jun isn’t worried. After so many years together, Zhehan knows him better than anyone else. And even so, just spending an entire day together without interruption is already the most valuable gift Gong Jun could ever receive.
He just needs this event to end so he can go home to Zhehan. Everything after that is just a bonus.
It seems to take forever. Gong Jun sits in the front row, in full view of the cameras, a polite smile and an attentive expression on his face. It isn't fake. He is genuinely interested in fashion and the fashion industry. While acting is his true passion, the connections he is forging now are his back-up plan for a possible future in which he may – for one reason or another – no longer wish to be constantly in the public eye.
At last the event is over and Gong Jun is on his way, earbuds plugged in, his carry-on slung over his shoulder. It's been a long day, and all he wants now is to get on the plane and go home where Zhehan and an entire free day are waiting for him.
His eyes are glued to his phone as he catches up with the texts Zhehan had sent him during the afternoon, knowing very well that Gong Jun wouldn't be able to read them until he was on his way to the airport. He teases the things he has planned for tomorrow, and there are also pics of him and Lufei saying clearly how much they look forward to seeing him.
Gong Jun smiles as he walks on autopilot to the white car that is waiting for him, the door already open. As soon as he's safely inside they are on their way. He leans back into the seat, ready to close his eyes for a bit as the car drives through the dark city streets and onto the bridge.
Gong Jun's eyes snap open again. As tired as he is, he is absolutely certain that there is no bridge anywhere on the way to the airport.
A million possibilities flash through Gong Jun's head. Did a sasaeng finally manage to swap out his car? But then, wouldn't they be in the car with him? Considering how his phone is still in his hand and his wrists remain unbound, either his abductors think he couldn’t resist, or he isn't being abducted at all.
He suddenly regrets sending his bodyguard home early. His desire for a private, quiet ride to the airport, and his preoccupation with his day with Zhehan is what got him into this mess. But he is a grown man and all things considered, he is in a pretty good position. It’s probably just a huge misunderstanding.
Gong Jun calls out to the driver. “Sir, did you make a wrong turn somewhere? Are we taking the scenic route?” No response. Maybe it’s hard to hear him all the way in the back. He climbs forward, and his breath catches at the sight of the beautiful, glittering water on each side of the bridge. There are boats illuminated by lanterns floating on the surface, little dots of light in the darkness. And then he sees the strangest sign: “Naihe Bridge, Exit in 6 years”.
There is only one Naihe Bridge that Gong Jun can think of. It is probably just some casual vandalism by some punks. That is, until he sees another one – “Naihe Bridge, Exit in 5 years”. It starts to feel less like a coincidence.
He opens his maps app; it’s useless. It takes him several tries before someone finally picks up his call. Hearing Zhehan’s voice is a relief, but his words chill Gong Jun to the core. “What kind of a sick joke is this? Gong Jun died two years ago.”
For a moment Gong Jun questions what he just heard, not wanting to believe that such cruel words could possibly hold some truth. Perhaps this is a part of some elaborate prank by Zhehan, something to bring a little chuckle before he arrives. But before he can say a word, the call ends, leaving him with chilling silence.
He tries calling again, but the call goes straight to voicemail without a second ring, further souring the nagging feeling inside. If this is a prank, it isn’t a fun one, and he will have to mention this to Zhehan when he arrives. If he arrives, for the bridge seems never ending.
The lanterns twinkle upon the eerily still waters, each one harboring a different shape. Some are smaller, as if they were crafted from the hands of small children, while others are larger, created by those with more experience, but although beautiful, Gong Jun can’t shake off the strange sense of unease.
“Sir?” He tries again, knocking on the glass, and this time, the driver turns. But as he turns, Gong Jun isn’t greeted with the kind face of an elder. He’s greeted by this terrifying beast of nightmares that twists its head unnaturally.
Gong Jun exclaims with fright and struggles with the handle, his terror growing as the driver reaches towards him with a hand of melted flesh. He jerks the silver handle, kicking until the door suddenly opens and sends him toppling to the wooden ground below.
He expects the monstrosity to follow him, but when he looks up, the vehicle is gone, and all that remains is a gruesome crime scene with what looks like a familiar, bloody human body lying upon the center of the bridge.
Gong Jun has no desire to see his own corpse. He can tell from a distance it’s him. He knows all his angles and this one shouldn’t be possible. Add in the nightmare creature, Naihe Bridge, Zhehan’s familiar but gutted voice saying he died–
Gong Jun can do the math.
Nobody seems to be coming for him. The bridge is empty, just him and him there. Gong Jun has the feeling he’s expected to go look at himself. Instead, he looks at the sky.
The stars are the clearest he’s ever seen—and incredibly wrong. Looking up at the eerie, swooping constellations, he feels a lump rise in his throat.
I don’t want to be dead, he thinks and bursts into tears.
As the big sobs shake out the worst of the shock, determination takes its place. He gulps in air. He is not leaving Zhehan behind. He is not going to have spent all this time away from Zhehan, preparing for their future, to have that future cut off. He is not going to let Zhehan become that sad voice on the telephone. He simply won’t.
He stands again. He looks down the bridge. He turns his back on it.
“I am not going to be dead.” He starts walking.
He’s barely taken three steps when footsteps begin to echo beside his own.
“I might be able to help you with that,” a quiet, familiar voice says. “I’m very good at not dying.”
Gong Jun jumps. A cloudy figure materializes, but even before it’s formed, Gong Jun recognizes Zhehan’s voice. But robes, guan, a younger face…
“...Xu Jin?” Gong Jun asks.
Not-Zhehan smiles.
“But…you’re a character.”
Xu Jin laughs quietly. “That’s the part of this you’re worried about?”
Gong Jun rakes his hands through his hair, feeling crazy, feeling like he wants to scream.
But he doesn’t. Part of him is afraid not-Zhehan will disappear and leave him alone if he does. He takes a breath and answers the question with one of his own.
“Am I dead?” It’s a phrase he never expected to say off set.
Xu Jin smiles enigmatically and pauses. “Did you hear what I said? I’m very good at not dying. I’m alive. So are you.”
“But how-?”
“Huang-zhentan!” he inclines his neck over his shoulder. Gong Jun startles at the sudden shift in his tone. “Explain it to him.”
Hearing nothing, Gong Jun grudgingly turns to look in the direction the other man is speaking, back to the site of the crash. There is someone else there now, squatting down, studying the other Gong Jun. Brushing off his jeans, he stands and approaches them. Before Gong Jun can even be thankful that he doesn’t have to look at his bloodied body, he feels a sense of dread as the man who walks up to him does so with Zhehan’s face.
Gong Jun feels like running away.
“You’re not dead because that man isn’t you,” the man says knowingly, his eyebrows quirked in amusement, but Gong Jun isn’t sure how this is supposed to be funny. “Not yet, anyway.” Far from the explanation he had expected, this just brings up more questions. “A lot can change in a few years, kid, don’t I know it.” He talks like an old man and it’s jarring.
“…Are you trying to say this is me in the future?” This scenario feels familiar, like a game he used to play, but can no longer remember the rules.
“It might be. It might not be. It’s hard to tell sometimes,” Huang Weiping says cryptically, then shrugs.
Gong Jun wants to pull on his own hair. He is dead, but also not dead. And that body over there isn’t his, but it could be. This story is worse than some of the scripts he rejected in the past.
He doesn’t understand what is going on but he wants to leave.
“I am not playing this game!” he shouts, giving in to his flight instinct. Pointing in the direction he came from, he says, “I’m going to walk away now. And if I have to walk all the way back to the studio, so be it.” With these words, he turns around on the spot and storms off, determined to elude this absurd situation and even weirder characters.
“Wait! It won’t…,” Xu Jin tries to stop him but is held back by Huang Weiping patting his shoulder. “Let him. He will find out soon enough.”
Focusing on the back of a sign in the distance, Gong Jun marches, unperturbed by the man calling after him. Although he really doesn’t know what’s going on, he won’t let them exercise control over him. Maybe he fell asleep in the car. It has happened before and his dreams are usually pretty vivid. Although he has never had one that felt this… real, threatening even. He shakes his head. It’s a dream; it must be.
Meanwhile, fog envelopes the bridge, impairing Gong Jun’s sight. Searching for anything in the neverending gray, he suddenly sees something dark and sprints towards it.
When he thinks he can almost touch it, he breaks out of the fog and stares at the two figures in front of him.
“Looks like you do need our help,” Huang Weiping calls out in greeting.
Gong Jun’s eyes widen. Nope.
He takes off running past them. He’ll get off this bridge and back to Zhehan and forget this ever happened.
Huang Weiping and Xu Jin watch Gong Jun sprint past them three more times before he comes to a panting stop in front of them.
“Got it out of your system?”
Gong Jun isn’t sure which of them said it, their voices so similar, so Zhehan. He misses Zhehan.
“What do I need to do?” He gives in. If he wants to see the real Zhehan he’ll have to listen to these not-Zhehans.
“Less.”
Gong Jun gasps, seeing a familiar figure appear behind the prince and detective. He knows this version of Zhehan nearly as well as he knows the real one.
“Let’s walk while we talk,” A-Xu nods at the not-Zhehans and holds his hand out to Gong Jun.
He hesitates for a moment, ultimately deciding if there was anyone he could trust right now it would be A-Xu.
Gong Jun nearly freezes up again as they walk further down the bridge. They aren’t supposed to get closer to the Naihe Bridge!
“All I ever wanted from Lao Wen was his company as I lived out my remaining days. But still, he tried to extend my life by risking his own.”
The fog clears. There is now a fork in the bridge. One has a sign that says “Naihe Bridge” but the years until exit are smudged out.
The other sign just says, “Present”.
“I’ve been working for our future,” Gong Jun blurts out. “I’ll slow down in a few years at most.”
“The future isn’t guaranteed, Xiao Jun.”
"I do my best for us, so we can be safe and free. So we won't have to worry about anything," he's pleading now, because he can't help but sense the disapproval in A-Xu's voice.
"Of course, you do," A-Xu smiles, just before gripping his arm to squeeze it gently. It breaks Gong Jun's heart.
He knows this gesture all too well, he knows this smile all too well. Tears are threatening to fall now, but he does his best not to crumble right then and there. He can't. Not until he's back to Zhehan.
"It is for us. I do this for us, for our future."
"I know, Xiao Jun. And he knows it, too. Still… the future is a fickle thing. Look at me. I was supposed to die young and I ended up being an immortal!" A-Xu's smile has a gremlin tone to it now, something so like Zhehan it's unbearable.
Gong Jun closes his eyes, trying to escape that vision he had so many times on set. Zhehan feels so far away, he misses him so much it's like missing a limb.
"What should I do, then?"
"You’re smart. I'm sure you've understood already. Make the right decision."
Gong Jun opens his eyes and glares at both signs in front of him. "Yes, I'll do that."
He starts walking toward the “Present” sign. He doesn't run because you should never rush the present. He walks with determined steps.
He doesn't speed up nor slow down when another set of steps comes closer.
"You've stopped running." Gong Jun still walks with even steps. Soon a purple-haired, bratty not-Zhehan is walking beside him and ogling him from head to toe. "Mind if I walk with you, gorgeous?"
Gong Jun takes a deep breath and turns. Ke Luo's easy, bright expression is a welcome reprieve from the heartache of seeing A-Xu just moments before, his hand touching him, pushing him onwards. He's all vibrant energy, mouth tilted in a pleased smirk, posture cock-sure and confident. His flirting isn't quite the same as Zhehan's, just a touch too arrogant, not quite smooth enough, but it's close. The closeness is comforting, almost as much as it is unsettling. Alike, but not.
"There's plenty of space," he hedges after a beat, "Feel free."
He's rewarded with that smirk blooming into a more familiar grin, so like Zhehan when he's gotten what he wants that it leaves him breathless. "Why, thank you. Though I guess I wouldn't mind walking behind you, either. You cut quite the figure." The backs of Gong Jun's ears heat at that. "Whether I see you come or see you go, it's always a good view." Those words are taken right out of Zhehan's mouth. It almost makes him stumble, but he feels something in his shoulders settle and ease instead.
Isn't that just the thing? All of these people, all of them are characters. Reflections of Zhehan that he's left behind, immortalized on screen. They're all Zhehan. He finds, suddenly, that he misses Zhehan's real laugh, his real smile, the cadence of his real voice, with a fierceness that leaves his bones shivering.
Ke Luo seems to see it in him. His smile now is the closest to Zhehan he's seen on anyone since beginning this hellride.
"Hey, Junjun," he leans over and nudges him with his elbow, expression fond. "Walking with you is fun and all, but don't you think it's about time you woke up?"
Gong Jun stops walking and stares at the road ahead where it stretches endlessly into a misty haze. He thought he was dreaming from the start; he must have been wearier after the long day than he realized. A glance to the side reveals he is standing even with the blocky white “Present” sign. Gong Jun knows with the utter certainty that only comes in dreams that if he takes one more step, something will change.
He turns at a rustle and sees a crowd of not-Zhehans behind him—all the characters Zhehan gave life to and learned something from in return. A-Xu stands front and center and Gong Jun thinks that makes sense. After all, A-Xu brought him and Zhehan together.
“Thank you,” Gong Jun says. “I won't forget what you—”
—he wakes with a start as the car stops beside the airport's discreet VIP entrance and feels irrationally disgruntled that the dream ended so abruptly. Where was the closure? After everything, he didn't even get to dramatically step forward on the path he chose? Rude.
In a daze, he gathers his belongings and steps out of the car, slipping on a black mask. (He has three extras in his bag, but he knows Zhehan will delight in lending him a white one for his return.) His hair is still styled and full of product from the show but he squashes it down with a bucket hat purloined from Zhehan's closet during his last visit. He'll exchange it for a new one tomorrow.
Check-in and security pass in a blur—he has navigated far more chaotic situations on far less sleep—and finally he's ensconced in a VIP Lounge's private room, staring at his phone. He needs to hear Zhehan’s real voice.
“Ah, he lives!” Zhehan says in greeting.
A wide grin and each word emphasized as he pretends to address Lufei, Gong Jun can picture him very clearly. The words give him goosebumps.
“Zhehan, hi.” Gong Jun forces his voice out, almost normal. He’s glad it’s not a video call.
“Did you know that slugs have four noses?” Zhehan asks after a slight pause.
“Uh—no.”
“I didn’t either.” He hums. “But it’s a myth, actually. Just learned that from a video.”
Chuckling in surprise, the tension in Gong Jun’s shoulders lessens right away. He shakes his head, tugs down his mask, and turns on the camera.
The first thing he sees on the other end is a close-up of Lufei’s nose. “Just one!” Zhehan laughs and switches to the front-facing camera in a swift blur. He’s lounging on the sofa, hair shower-damp, wearing one of Gong Jun’s sweatshirts.
The sight of his smile is enough to calm most of Gong Jun’s nerves. Zhehan eliminates the rest like an expert: talking more about slugs, his day, and plans for tomorrow—in vague hints and hushed innuendos he refuses to elaborate on. By the time he falls quiet, Gong Jun’s slouched against the backrest, feeling brave.
“I had a dream about you,” he admits. “In the car.”
“Oh?”
“I got lost and you—helped me out.” He doesn’t tell Zhehan about the corpse or the macabre countdown, doesn’t bother differentiating between the men he’d encountered. He’s self-aware, most of the time. Not so good at bridging subjects. “I spend too much time thinking about the future.”
Zhehan blinks, confused. “Junjun?”
“I like my job.”
“Of course. What—”
“If I decided to quit everything within a year,” Gong Jun pauses, “would you think it’s completely crazy?”
"You're asking me?" Zhehan snorts. "I've done crazier things in my life."
It's true. Even without thinking, Gong Jun remembers five crazy things Zhehan has done. After pondering about it for three seconds, he comes up with eleven.
"Also, knowing you, even if you quit within a year, you would have calculated it all through. Right, mister financial expert?"
Gong Jun huffs. Zhehan knows him too well.
"I would be worried if you wanted to quit everything within a day," Zhehan admits, "and tell you to sleep on it. But if you didn't change your mind the following day, I'd stay by your side to support you."
"Zhehan," Gong Jun whispers, his eyes tearing up. That whole dream has left him weirdly emotional.
"I'm always with you. You know that, right?"
"Yeah," Gong Jun confirms, feeling calmer. "Thank you."
"No need to thank me." Zhehan smiles. "By the way, when does your flight take off?"
Gong Jun checks his watch. "In forty minutes."
"Isn't it time for boarding then?"
"Oh my god!" Gong Jun jumps up, grabs his bag, and fumbles to put on his mask.
"Are you still lost in your dream, sleepyhead?" Zhehan laughs. "Maybe you should catch some more sleep on the plane."
"No." Gong Jun grimaces. He really isn't in the mood to get back into that dream. He just wants to get home and wrap his arms around Zhehan—the real Zhehan, his Zhehan.
Zhehan chuckles. "Well, I'll be waiting for you. Have a safe flight, Junjun."
"Thanks." Gong Jun smiles, even though Zhehan can't see his face due to the mask. "See you soon."
"Sooner than you think."
"What—" Before Gong Jun can finish his question, Zhehan ends the call with a mischievous smirk.
He’s still pondering the comment as he boards the plane, settles in, and the plane ascends. There’s a moment as he moves to his seat that he wonders… maybe Zhehan is on the plane?! But no, that’s impossible. He’s home, with Lufei; Gong Jun just saw that.
Is Zhehan going to risk meeting him at the airport? He imagines it: Zhehan holding a sign with his name on it, right there in front of everyone, like some 90s American movie. It’s not even far-fetched, really, just… not the time for that, yet.
Truth be told, he imagines Zhehan in the airport often, but it’s a dream of them traveling together. It’s his favorite daydream. Going wherever the wind takes them, seeing mountains and oceans and cities and ruins, places they’ve never been and places they want to share with each other.
He imagines kissing Zhehan at the Trevi Fountain. Making a new wish—together, this time—for the next chapter of their lives.
Wandering their own jianghu.
Far below the plane he sees a river winding through the land. Gong Jun shivers with lingering unease and distracts himself by wondering who Zhehan would encounter in such a dream.
Lao Wen, naturally. But who else? Indulgently, he hopes for Yuan Che. His optimism and unwavering loyalty would be a balm to Zhehan’s distress. Lin Shen, with his calm demeanor and psychoanalysis, would make a good guide.
As the river curves out of sight, his unease goes with it.
He finds himself humming xin ruo xiang yang.
All too soon the plane is descending. He feels so much lighter already, fingers drumming on the armrest and knee bouncing impatiently. He’s close, so close to Zhehan now.
Closer than he expected, in fact.
Gong Jun gets off the plane and makes his way to the VIP exit. He can't wait to see Zhehan in person. He tries his best not to rush through the airport as he texts Zhehan that he has arrived. They’ll see each other in a bit. Zhehan texts back he hopes traffic won't be too bad.
Gong Jun is still looking at his phone when he reaches the exit, so he doesn't notice the person in a facemask and glasses standing right outside. He's about to dial Zhehan's number when he trips on something and loses his balance. He knows he's about to fall but all he manages to do in his haste is to grab onto something, tipping his small suitcase over with him.
Just as he braces himself for the impact of falling on the concrete floor, he feels a hand grab his wrist and pull him upwards.
“Careful, bao,” a familiar voice whispers into his ear when he's upright again.
It makes him freeze up for a moment. Then he remembers Zhehan's words from their call earlier and all of it clicks into place suddenly.
He drops his bag, wraps his arms around Zhehan, and hugs him as tight as he can, as if he were trying to make sure he's real.
He is.
Gong Jun feels like crying and laughing, and kissing that silly grin off Zhehan’s face all at once, prying eyes be damned. Instead, he rests his chin on Zhehan's shoulder and takes a deep breath.
Then, all too soon, Zhehan taps on his shoulder. They part and he helps Gong Jun pick up his stuff before he walks towards a parked car near the exit.
“Come on, Junjun. The car is waiting.”
His unease returns as he climbs into the car. Zhehan notices and chatters pleasantly about the past few weeks, not expecting Gong Jun to contribute but also not letting go of his hand. It’s good. Grounding. Luckily they arrive home without incident—no deaths or otherworldly drivers or even worse, sasaeng—and soon Zhehan drags both Gong Jun and his suitcase through their front door. Lufei greets them with excited yips and a ton of slobber. Gong Jun might’ve minded the mess years ago but not anymore.
The homecoming is interrupted by a stomach rumbling. His own, Gong Jun realizes with a blush.
“Ah,” he says as Zhehan laughs fondly. “I can probably throw something together–”
“Nah, I’ve got it covered.” He must make a face because Zhehan sticks out his tongue. “Don’t worry, I didn’t cook. Delivery’s already on the way.”
As they eat, Lufei begs for table scraps and Zhehan fishes for details. “So tell me more about this dream?”
“Zhehan…”
A gremlin smile lights up his face. “Junjun, was it a sex dream? ” he teases, wiggling his eyebrows. Gong Jun groans and tosses a pillow in his face. Zhehan retaliates and pushes him down onto the couch, dinner forgotten.
A while later, as they’re putting up the leftovers and cleaning, Zhehan nudges his shoulder. “So, I’m assuming you have some kind of spreadsheet to show me about this whole plan of yours?”
Gong Jun pauses. He does have a spreadsheet, and more. But plans can wait. Shaking his head, he pulls Zhehan into his arms and kisses him soundly. “The future will be there tomorrow. Tonight, all I want is to be with you.”
“Sounds good to me,” Zhehan replies, beaming, and tugs Gong Jun in for another kiss.