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Yep, he was definitely dead. There was no other reasonable explanation as to why the world wasn’t around him anymore.
Oh, wait… never mind; the world was there, it was just spinning and occasionally getting further away.
But… that didn’t make sense..? Did it?
Okay, hold on. The world was definitely there, so maybe… maybe Beef wasn’t there..? Yeah, that made more sen—
Nope, the sudden pounding pain and pressure that built up in his head told him that he was, in fact, there.
So what was happening?
Ohhhhh! That would make more sense! He’s hurt!
Oh dear… that’s not good…
“…eef? Can you hear m… …uddy..?”
Kind of..?
“…c’mon Beef, just let us… …ou can hear…”
Oh, dang… People need words to communicate… whoops…
“Nrghff,” Beef managed push past his fluffy-feeling throat. Like I said: words. But the other voice cut off his thoughts.
“…Oh thank goo…s”
Thank… goose..? What..?
The Canadian part of Beef smiled.
“Beef? What… …smiling for?” The voice started to become more firm in his surroundings — less floaty and hollow and echoey.
“Goose,” Beef giggled out.
“What? Did you say ‘goose’?” The voice seemed to zoom into sharp focus so aggressively that it made Beef’s head spin more.
For some reason, the tone made Beef feel like he was in trouble.
“Yeah..? You, uh- thanked goose..?” He struggled to explain himself through the fogginess that clouded his mind. “Like, uhh…”
“Wha- never mind. Beef, can you look at me?”
Expecting this request to be easy to fulfil, Beef turned his head a little so that he faced the voice more directly. However, his eyelids wouldn’t budge.
After a few ticks of struggling, Beef decided to try and pry one eye open at a time, which led to a rather odd looking seven seconds of facial expressions.
Now Beef was looking up — quite far at that — a the green face of a… uh… green goat..? Robot? A green robot goat? Wait… maybe it was a creeper—
Creeper!?!?
Beef’s eyes shot wide open with panic. He didn’t know how a creeper was this close without exploding, but he didn’t care, all that he needed to do was get away from this mob!
“Woah, woah, calm down, Beef! No need to panic like that! I know I need a haircut, but it’s not that bad!” The green robot goat/creeper thing cracked a small smile (something that creepers definitely couldn’t do) and giggled a little at his own joke. Beef took that as a good sign, though he couldn’t stop his muddled up and loopy brain from thinking creepers have reached sentience!
“What..? Where..?” Beef’s eyes felt like they crossed as his vision got all blurry. He couldn’t make out his surroundings at all.
“You took a pretty nasty fall,” the voice explained. “We all decided to leave you with me until Grian and Cub are done with the new medical centre.”
It took more than a few moments for Beef to comprehend what the other was saying. “Fall..?”
“Yeah, some phantoms got the better of you.”
“Phantoms..?” Beef was utterly lost; his brain was only just now also catching up on the rest of the sentence that the voice said before. “Cub? Grain? Who..?”
And amused snort nearly shook the room, then the voice seemed to get concerned. “Wait..? You don’t know who Grian and Cub are?”
Beef just kept staring at the person, eyes wide. Green-guy’s eyes narrowed before he spoke again.
“Uh… who- who am I? What’s my name?”
Everything felt wrong in that moment; Beef knew that he should know this person, but there was no familiarity, no sparks in his brain that told him he recognised this very unique looking green robot goat/creeper.
“Was zum Teuful…”
“What?”
Green-guy pulled out his communicator, holding it close to his face, and started typing with aggressive taps that probably could brake the screen. Beef couldn’t see what he was typing from his position laying down on a bed, so he took this time to sit up more and gauge his surroundings, see if anything caught his eye or sparked his memory. He settled himself with his back leaning against the wall behind him.
*INSERT DESC OF MOUNT GOATMORE*
Just as Beef finished looking around the room, he heard someone burst in through the door. All that he could see from behind a warped holographic admin panel projecting from a comm (this comm was significantly larger than Goat-guy’s) was a green space suit.
“Thank you for coming so quickly, Zizuma.” Relief was thick in his voice.
“Thank you for contacting me right away, unlike the rest of you buffoons.” Said ‘Zizuma’ had to hold back most of his annoyance and impatience, but he let some slip through. Rushed footsteps brought him closer to Beef’s side.
“Oh no… What happened now?”
Zizuma just waved him off as he placed his full attention onto Beef. It made Beef a little uncomfortable — very uneasy.
“Beef, do you mind if I take a look at your code? I already looked at the code of the phantom that attacked you, and I found a few concerning things. I just want to confirm and/or deny some of my suspicions.”
Beef doubted that he could say no; this Zizuma was huge, towering over the Goat-guy and, from what Beef could see through the green armour, was also absolutely ripped.
So he nodded his head slowly, trying not to flare up the spinning again.
“Thank you,” Zizuma began. “Now, you may feel a slight tickle…”
Docm77 > X you need to come to my base right now
Etho > Beef..?
Xisuma > Okay. Do I need to bring anything?
Etho > What’s wrong? Doc, tell me
Docm77 > Just your comm
Docm77 > You’ll need to take a look at his code
Etho > His code!?! What’s going on?!? Is he okay?!?!
Xisuma > K, I’ll be there in a minute or so
Etho > Doc!!! What’s happening to him??!?!?!?
StressMonster101 > Etho, calm down luv. I’m sure he’ll be fine. Xisuma and Doc are very capable, just let them work
Etho > No! I need to know what’s happening to Beef!!! Tell me Doc!!!!!!!
Etho > Doc!!!
Etho > DOC PLEASE DUDE
ZombieCleo > c’mon Etho, he’ll be fine
Etho > NO!!! TELL ME.
Keralis1 > calm down, sweet face. I know Shashwam will help him in no time! Just be patient for a little bit
ZombieCleo > Bdubs, can you go check on Etho?
BdoubleO100 > already omw
Etho > please…
Zizuma was right, it tickled. But Beef would be an idiot to try move away from the ‘attack’. So he tried to stay still and stifle any giggles before they could make him look like a baby in front of these very tall and intimidating men.
It was barely a few minutes before he was done. However, the look on his face was definitely not promising.
“What is it, X..?” Goat-guy spoke hesitantly from behind Zizuma.
“Not good, that’s what it is. He’s missing a lot of lines; fortunately, none of them seem to be core functional lines, but instead…” his frown deepened from behind his purple helmet visor. “Instead, he’s missing almost everything from the remnants of offhand memories his foremind already forgot, to core memories and deep interpersonal relations.”
“Oh… definitely not good th—“
“Where is he?!? What’s happening?!?! Docm, you bastard, why didn’t you answer me?!?” A white-haired man with a mask barged into the room, out of breath from indignation rather than running.
The only word that Beef’s brain supplied him for this man was ‘cute’… His breathe hitched as his heart skipped a beat.
The sound of heavier, clumsier footsteps outside the door shook Beef from his thoughts.
“I… I tried… to stop… him… He’s a… a fast… ninja…” Now, this (short and almost manic looking) person was definitely winded from his trek here. His brain supplied him the word ‘Bdubs’, but he didn’t really know what to make of it.
“Beef! Are you okay?” The masked man rushed up to Beef’s side, pushing the probably-admin out of the way.
Beef’s heart skipped another beat and his stomach nearly dropped. His breathing quickened into short gasps.
This cute— no, hot man with a sexy mask and incredibly soft looking hair was beyond concerned for him and very, very close…
Beef couldn’t help it as his eyes wondered over the man’s face, already trying to picture what was under the mask. Then the multicoloured eyes caught his gaze. A faint scar ran through his eyebrow and over his cheekbone, disappearing behind the mask, on the left side of his face. That eye was red as it sparkled with concern. The other eye was a deep grey, glistening in the light.
Before Beef could look more, the masked man’s light eyebrows drew together in confusion.
“What’s that face for, Beef?” He asked, moving his mask a little farther up his face.
Beef bit his lip, unsure of what to say and how everyone knew his name. His eyes flicked over the face once more.
“Uh, Beef..?” The one in the space suit — Zizuma! — drew closer. “Do you know who that man is?”
“Whatd’ya mean? Why wouldn’t he—“ the masked man started, not moving from his spot close to Beef, but simply looking up to stare indignantly at Zizuma.
“Hold on, Etho— Can you answer me Beef?”
Looking from Zizuma to the masked man — Etho? — and then back again, Beef tried to just tell him with his eyes so that he wouldn’t upset Etho.
He understood.
“I’ll start looking right away.” Zizuma took out his comm and started typing. A few different pockets buzzed before he put it away again.
“Wait, looking for what?” Goat-guy — did he have a name yet..? — asked, confusion making his voice a little tight.
“For the missing parts of his code. If I can find them soon enough, it means they won’t have slipped into the void. But if they did…”
“What?” Now Etho(?) was up, starting towards the space suit, one hand touching his mask to make sure it was in place. “What missing code? What happened?”
Beef eyes fell to his butt before he could even think. He blushed a little as he looked away.
“The phantom must have been glitched. It managed to tear out some of his code, none of the function pieces, but rather the memories. He doesn’t know who we are.”
Etho just stared for a moment, then he continued to stare. He couldn’t speak; and he didn’t have to.
“What do you mean, ‘he doesn’t know who we are’? Like, he doesn’t remember Hermitcraft? At all?” The short guy — Bdubs? — was in disbelief. “All because of a phantom?! See, this is why I sleep!! Those things are demons!”
Goat-guy smiled a little at that, but Beef could only vaguely understand why.
Suddenly, Etho turned to face Beef again. He crossed the distance between them in only one step and got much closer than he had before.
“C’mon Beefers! You know me! Ladders! I go up and I go down, right? And- and, uh, you remember Pause! Team Canada: one unstoppable force!” Etho’s — Ladders..? — eyes were searching for anything in Beef’s. He was desperate. “Oh! And you remember the first CTM the three of us did, right! It’s was the Ruins of the Mindcrackers!
“That was where me and Pause started calling you ‘mom’ — which was beyond weird, I know — and it was where I started breaching! Then I accidentally breached your face on the monument and we all tried to fix it! And then later that day, you painted your face to make it look like the messy jumble of blocks! And you got the most deaths out of all of us! I got the least, but no need to brag or anything. And we played with tonnes of fireworks! They were so pretty!
“Then after that we played Ruins of the Mindrackers Two! And when we got to the monument we found out that your face on it was all blown up and melty like on the first one! And then—“
“Etho..? You’re scaring him…” The short guy placed his hand on Etho’s shoulder.
But Etho shrugged it off, much more aggressive than necessary.
“No! Beef isn’t scared of—“ Etho looked frantically back at Beef, searching for fear.
Which he found quickly.
“Oh my god I am so sorry… I’m so so sorry, Beef… I just thought…” Tears were threatening to escape his eyes as he readjusted his mask over his face.
Beef tried to shake off the fear as quickly as he could. Etho just continued to stare at him. He had backed off a little, but was still too close for Beef to breathe normally. As he noticed that the short guy was the only other one left in the room, Beef stared back at Etho. He planned to only look at Etho’s face, but his eyes had other plans as they started drifting down the masked man’s body.
He was wearing a poufy, green vest and a tight black shirt that went just below his elbows. Beef couldn’t help but stare at how well the fabric hugged his arms. Fingerless gloves added some bulk to his otherwise fairly dainty looking hands (which did something to Beef…). Loose and cuffed black pants were pulled tighter in all of the right spots on his long legs, and black sandals—
“Beef, what is that face for?” Etho put his hands on his hips.
Beef’s eyes flicked to the slight pop of Etho’s hip before meeting his eyes again, and he immediately went bright red with blush.
“Nothin’,” he managed to say through his embarrassment. An awkward silence followed until Etho exhaled heavily.
“Do you really not recognise me? We’ve been through so much together…”
Beef’s mind churned through that sentence, trying to decipher exactly what he meant. Then a (probably desperate) lightbulb popped up.
Maybe Etho was his… his… his boyfriend…?
But the lightbulb flickered out as he realised how awful it would be if he asked and was completely wrong. So, Beef decided to ask a very normal question that anyone would ask their first time meeting anyone.
“Are you single?” He was a lot quieter than he meant to be.
The Bdubs immediately burst into manic giggles as Etho’s eyes widened. He actually fell backward a step — that was how taken aback he was by that question.
Beef wanted to crawl into a hole and die forever.
“yes…” Etho was so quiet that Beef hardly heard him over the other’s laughing.
Beef decided to save the idea of ‘crawling into a whole and dying’ for later instead. He still had a chance.
Etho was still wide-eyed as he stared at Beef. Then he turned to the shorter man.
“Bdubs? Can you leave for a moment?” He sounded serious, but not at all demanding; it made Beef want to follow the suggestion, regardless of the fact that it wasn’t pointed at him.
It seemed to snap the short guy — Bdubs — out of his giggle fit.
“Why?” Bdubs cocked his head to the side, almost like a puppy would.
“Just… please?” He readjusted his mask.
A few ticks of silence followed. Then…
“Fine.” Bdubs shrugged his shoulders in defeat as he padded his way out of the room, closing the door with a reassuring click behind him.
Etho waited a bit before turning his attention back to Beef.
“Hi, I’m Etho. We are currently on the Hermitcraft server, of which the both of us are members.” Etho stepped closer again, but this time he kept a good distance and held out his hand.
Beef reached forward and shook it. “Well, I’m Beef… but you already knew that. Can you explain what’s going on?”
Etho’s eyes crinkled slightly in a way that said he was smiling. “Of course.” He looked down at the bed Beef was sitting on, a silent question. Beef brought his legs up to sit cross-legged and smiled up at Etho, giving his permission. “I’m sorry about… all of that… I kind of panicked a little…”
“A little? I’d hate to see you panic a lot then!”
Etho smiled at him again; this time it crinkled his eyes much more. “Yeah… maybe that was an understatement..?”
They both laughed for a moment.
“Right, so, ‘What is Hermitcraft?’ You might ask. It’s a server of 24 odd people, all very talented. We are currently in the seventh season, or rendition, of the server. Each new season is on a new world. Xisuma, the man in the green armour, is our admin.”
“I see. And that means that the short guy is also a member of Hermitcraft?”
That made Etho snort. “Yeah, that’s Bdubs, or BdoubleO100. Also, he loves it when people talk about him being short, trust me.” Something in the way that Etho’s voice lilted made Beef want to trust him, just to see how Bdubs would react.
“How do I know you? You said something about ‘Team Canada’ before, right?”
A fond look sparkled in Etho’s eyes as he explained how they met and some of their adventures together.
The recount told Beef that him and Etho were definitely not dating, which made him want to slap his old memories for being so stupid.
After a while, Beef’s curiosity got the better of him.
“Do you always wear that mask?”
Etho got silent as he snapped his head away to look at the ground. He painfully noticed how him and Beef had been subconsciously scooting closer together as they spoke.
“Yeah, I do.” The way that Etho said it made Beef not want to ask why. But he was still curious.
“Have I ever seen you without it?”
After longer than was comfortable, Etho brought his head up to look around the room, almost as if he were checking if anyone else was there. He took extra long looks at the windows too.
“Yeah,” he eventually managed. “Both you and Pause have. It was an accident though. I didn’t mean to…”
Beef just wanted to comfort Etho; he just wanted to wrap his arms around him and tell him that ‘it’s okay’. And maybe he only wanted to do that because Etho looked like he needed it. Or maybe his reasons were a little more… selfish.
Regardless, he scooted a little closer, waiting for Etho to look back at him, which he did almost right away. Beef looked into his eyes, asking for permission to get ever closer. He didn’t get it as Etho instead leaned over to Beef, falling into his arms. Beef gratefully held him, definitely feeling happier than he should have, considering why.
“I was so scared Beef,” Etho choked out. “When Doc said in chat that he needed X to look at your code, I nearly cried on the spot. And then he wouldn’t tell me what was wrong, and I couldn’t take it. I was just so scared that I’d lose you. I’m so glad you’re gunna be okay.”
Beef squeezed harder. Then, without thinking, his hand drew up to Etho’s hair. At first, Etho tensed up at the new touch, but he quickly melted into the affection, leaning more heavily into Beef’s arms.
They stayed like that for longer than either of them would admit, but once they pulled apart again, Etho couldn’t bring himself to get up. Beef grabbed him by the hips and scooted to the side of the bed more. He placed Etho next to him.
“Can you tell me some more stories of us?” Beef looked through his eyelashes over at Etho as he requested the stories. Etho gulped before he smiled at him.
“Sure.” Etho thought for a moment before his face lit up. He started telling Beef about season five and NHO. They stayed like that for a very long time.
Xisuma > Etho, how’s Beef doing?
Etho > he’s asleep right now
StressMonster101 > awwww how cute <3
Xisuma > that’s good.
Xisuma whispers to Etho > we’ve found some of his code, but not all of it. I can search the void a little, but I’m afraid that lots of his memories are long gone by now. I’m sorry.
Etho whispers to Xisuma > okay
Xisuma whispers to Etho > almost all of his mechanics memories and muscle memories are gone because they are heavier in the code, but that’s fine because I can easily duplicate them from someone else. The more specific memories however… those ones can’t be replaced. There does seem to be lots of them, but he has certainly made a million more memories than we could ever find.
Etho whispers to Xisuma > thanks for telling me
GoodTimeWithScar > wait, so, waht was wrong with Beef?
Docm77 > a glitched out phantom managed to tear out some of his code, but we found a lot of it, and X can just duplicate other stuff from other people to help.
MumboJumbo > they can do that?!
TangoTek > really..?
Grain > what parts of his code?
Docm77 > well… it’s almost entirely his memories because they are the easiest to access
iJevin > easiest to access? Does that mean that whenever X looks at our code he sees our memories first..?
Docm77 > I haven’t really thought of that… X?
Xisuma > no need to panic everyone. I have not seen any of anyones memories
Xisuma > except for Biffa, but that was for another reason entirely…
Grian > good, and I recommend you continue to stay away from mine…
Xisuma > Grian, I wouldn’t even dare to look at your memories, even if I was paid a million diamonds.
Grain > Hey!!! What’s that supposed to mean?!?
StressMonster101 > lol
GoodTimeWithScar > XD
Etho laughed quietly at his comm, trying not to wake Beef who was sleeping on his shoulder. His mind kept replaying the first few moments that Beef was looking at him.
He held a weird look in his eyes, and Etho couldn’t place it. Then, Beef had the same look later when he was just silently looking at him.
Then Beef asked if Etho was single.
The thought sent shivers through him.
It was silly to think that Beef suddenly had a crush on him! Just ridiculous! They had been friends for so long; Etho would know if Beef thought of him as anything more than a friend.
But Etho’s mind went back to when Beef and Pause saw his face, the memory having recently resurfaced when Beef asked. An almost similar, weird look flashed across Beef’s face immediately, but he was quick to replace it with guilt as he spun around, apologizing profusely.
And now, how Beef was so comfortable with touching him, even though, despite what anyone else felt, Beef had only really just met him. He shivered as he remembered the feeling of Beef’s hand in his hair… and on his hips… The old Beef wouldn’t have dared to touch Etho like that — he knew that Etho didn’t like touch — but now, even Etho wanted more of it.
Thinking about all of this made Etho feel…
Weird.
So, to distract himself, he started playing a game on his comm (he made sure that the volume was all the way down). He smiled at the familiar bright colours of the platformer.
Beef woke up slowly.
At first, it was just a few blinks of consciousness every now and then, then it became moments.
He caught glimpses of a colourful game being played with dainty fingers. He slowly remembered where he was—
And who he was sleeping on.
His first thought was to back away and apologize, but seeing as Etho didn’t seem to mind…
He stayed there and watched as Etho played his game.
After a couple minutes, Beef noticed that in the time he was asleep, Etho had moved to under the blankets with him. That thought made heat begin to pool in his stomach. He took the risk of pretending to shuffle in his sleep to get closer.
Etho almost immediately stopped moving in the game and looked over at Beef — well, Beef’s eyes were closed, but that’s what he assumed was happening. Etho brought his hand up to pet at Beef’s hair for a moment. The touch sent electric shocks all through Beef. Once Etho pulled his hand away, he instead leaned his head onto Beef’s and continued playing the game.
Beef had to hold back the scream that was threatening to escape him.
Unfortunately, the touch didn’t last for long as Etho jumped away when he heard clumsy footsteps outside the door. He sat down on the nearest chair and continued playing his game as if everything was normal.
Beef pretended to stir from his slumber at the sudden movement, but accidentally made eye contact with Etho.
Etho just winked at him before readjusting his mask slightly.
Beef almost passed out again.
The clumsy footsteps stopped outside the door before knocking somewhat angrily.
“Come on in, Bdubs,” Etho called.
The door opened to reveal a royally pissed short guy.
“You tell me to leave so you can have your private time with this Beef that doesn’t remember you and obviously… you know what! And then you don’t even answer my messages! What were you two doing that could have possibly taken that much time?!?! ‘Oh, he’s sleeping’ yeah freaking right, ‘he’s sleeping’!” Bdubs was stomping closer and closer to Etho, pointing his finger and gesturing wildly with his other hand. “Do you really think I’m that stupid?”
“Woah, calm down, Bdubs!” Etho tried making himself smaller in his chair, even though he was nearly double the height of the angry little man. He readjusted his mask again. “What are you talking about?”
“What we’re you two doing?!?!”
“Nothing! I swear! What are you even talking about?” Etho’s eyes widened as he stared up at Bdubs. He was panicking and could hardly breathe through his mask.
“Tell me what you did to him!!!” He nearly screamed.
“Etho..?” A meek voice that sounded terrified and pained caught their attention.
Beef’s head had started spinning again, and this time it wasn’t from how cute Etho was. No, the yelling and shouting and accusing was too much and Beef couldn’t handle it.
Bdubs quieted down when he saw Beef’s face contorted in pain, and Etho didn’t hesitate to rush over and see what was wrong.
“Hey now, Beefers, it’s okay. Can you tell me what’s wrong?” Etho was about to place a hand on his shoulder, but thought better of it.
“Everything… sp-spinning…” The room was knocking him around like he was in a washing machine.
“Okay, just calm down. Do you think you can drink this health potion for me?”
Beef started to shake his head, but that just made everything a million times worse.
Now Bdubs was standing awkwardly to the side, feeling guilty and completely out of place.
“Well don’t just stand there! Message Doc and Xisuma! Tell them to come back here!” Etho shot a desperate look back at Bdubs, who fumbled with his comm before typing. Etho turned his attention back to Beef. “It’s okay, bud. Just try and focus on me, alright?”
All that Beef wanted to do was listen, so he tried his hardest to keep the world still for long enough to find the masked man. He eventually did.
“Perfect, you’re doing great, Beef. Can you drink this now?” Etho held out a health potion for Beef to take.
But by the time he reached his hand up, the spinning had stopped completely.
“Etho..? It’s g-gone I think…”
“Really?”
“Yeah… I’m sor—“
“Do not say sorry, Beef. None of this is you’re fault.” Etho looked deep into Beef’s eyes with an expression he couldn’t place. It made Beef want to cry, though.
“Uhh, Doc and Xisuma are almo—“ just as Bdubs started talking, the door burst open.
“Is he okay?” Xisuma immediately called out, rushing into the room with long strides and taking a place next to the bed.
“Yeah, I’m fi—“
“What happened to him?” Etho questioned Xisuma, not daring to move from his spot beside Beef.
Doc cleared his throat from behind everyone. “Bdubs said that Beef described it as ‘spinning’, right?” Etho nodded. “Well, that most likely means that some line of his code are conflicting. And, because of this whole memory issue, it’s likely caused by him making new memories that contradict with what few memories he still had.”
“What does that mean?”
Xisuma answered for him. “It’s simple. We just have to get rid of the new memories he’s made, and put the old ones back in.
“Luckily, our search in the void ended up being very beneficial. We found almost all of his core and functional memories, as well as every strong interpersonal relation memory.
“The process of putting them back in should only take less than an hour.”
No one spoke for a moment while they processed what Xisuma said. But one part caught Etho’s attention.
“Get rid of his new memories? Is that necessary?” The question made Bdubs scoff as he remembered what he was so angry about before.
“Why is that an issue, Etho?” Bdubs mocked.
Xisuma shot a warning look at Bdubs before answering.
“It’s for the best, yes. Having a chunk of your memory that doesn’t remember anything from before it and takes up the space that something else should be in has the potential to wreck a lot of havoc on his code. Not to mention how disorienting it will be for him to think of.” Xisuma shot a concerned look between Beef and Etho. “I mean, it’s there’s a specific thing that you would want Beef to remember, then I can save it, as long as it doesn’t interfere with anything else. But that would mean that I have to feel the experience of the memory from Beef’s perspective to extract and record it…”
Etho stood up quickly and stuffed his hands in his pockets, sauntering away ‘without’ much concern. “No, no, don’t worry about it. That sounds like more trouble than it’s worth.”
Bdubs took the moment to angrily stomp out of the room.
Xisuma and Doc shared a look.
“What’s his problem..?” Xisuma raised an eyebrow from behind his visor.
Etho and Beef shrugged.
Doc cleared his throat again before speaking.
“I would recommend that we start this process as soon as possible… If you’re okay with that, Beef?”
Everyone looked expectantly at Beef.
Etho looked completely torn, which matched exactly how Beef felt.
“Yeah, yeah, let’s uh, get on with it, I guess.”
Xisuma was skeptical, but he didn’t say anything. This decision was entirely Beef’s, and nothing should change that. He was definitely curious, and he definitely thought up some different things that could have happened that neither of them would want to forget, but he quickly shook those thoughts from his head.
Even when all of Beef’s memories were in front of him on a silver platter, he still didn’t dare to look at what could have happened between the two.
“Okay, so, I’m going to have to knock you out Beef. The process will be much safer and take significantly less time if you’re asleep during it.”
Beef nodded.
“And Etho? You can stay if you want, but I would prefer to be alone. That goes for you too, Doc.”
Doc immediately brought his hands up in surrender as he left the building. But Etho hesitated. He looked hopeless.
“I can leave for a moment if you two would like to talk first?” There was no judgement. No teasing tone. No mockery.
“We’ll only take a moment, Xisuma, thank you.” It was Beef who spoke, because Etho couldn’t.
Without another word, X got up and left.
They stared at each other, not quite knowing what to say or how to say it. Again, it was Beef who spoke first.
“I think it’s pretty obvious, but I like you, Etho. And I don’t know if the other me does…” Beef stood up to be more at eye level with Etho. “You don’t have to say it back, you don’t have to reciprocate any of my feelings. You don’t even have to acknowledge these feelings in a few minutes. We could both forget that this ever happened.”
“But I don’t want to…” he was quiet and small and insecure, but he was sure. Etho knew that he didn’t want to forget.
“Then you can tell other me, or ask other me, or something. Or, if you don’t want to be the one to say something, I can leave myself a note. We could—“ Beef was so caught up in thinking about these possible ways to remember, that he didn’t even notice Etho bring his hand up to his mask. He didn’t notice that Etho’s face was bare as he got very close, very quickly. He didn’t notice until Etho’s hand drifted up to cup Beef’s face. Then he was met with lips on his.
The touch was so very gentle and soft. It felt like Etho thought he would break Beef if he did too much. And at the same time, it felt right, like this was how it was always supposed to be. Beef melted into it; he couldn’t stop himself as he pulled Etho closer to him and kissed him deeper, never wanting the moment to end.
But end it did as Etho pulled away much too soon, the both of them completely out of breath and begging for more time to do it all again. But Etho’s touch softened and softened more until it was gone, and Beef got colder and colder more until he was a shivering mess.
Then Etho got close again and whispered into his ear with a low voice, almost too quiet for Beef to even hear.
“I’ll remind you.”
He pulled away again and Beef got to see his face.
The scar from his eye continued all the way down to his chin. And many more scars littered his whole face, most notably a chunk from his nose. His chin was pointy and his jawline soft. His lips were a very light shade of pink and his cheeks were red with blush.
“You’re beautiful.” And he really meant it.
Etho smiled an insecure and adorable smile before he placed his mask back on, readjusting it until it fit perfectly over his face.
“I should probably go now,” Etho nearly whispered as he looked at the floor. Beef was about to let him go until a thought made him call out.
“Wait!” Etho spun around to face Beef as he looked at the floor. He slowly brought his eyes up to look at Etho. “Promise to tell me… please…”
His face softened before he looked into Beef’s eyes with the most genuine and earnest look.
“I promise.”
“Good,” Beef smiled. “I’ll see you in an hour then.”
“I can’t wait,” Etho smirked back, eliciting an eyebrow raise and a giggle.
He left without another word, letting Xisuma in at the same time.
They both sat down in their respective spots without a word. It was a few minutes later when X looked up from his screens.
“Are you ready, Beef?”
“As ready as I can be,” he huffed without much reassurance.
Xisuma shot him a concerned look. “Are you sure?”
“How can I not be?”
“Did your talk with Etho go well?”
Beef nodded and Xisuma sighed. He just wished he knew how to help.
“Even when they don’t remember what being a Hermit is, they still don’t ever want to tell their admin what’s wrong.” He spoke mostly to himself as he shook his head with a smile.
Beef laughed at that. Then there was a few moments of silence.
“I’m ready,” Beef said, this time a little more convincingly.
“I’m glad to hear that. And I’ll see you in an hour. Goodnight, Beef.”
Before Beef could answer, Xisuma pressed a button and he was sound asleep.
— — —
Beef was sure he was late to something. His joints ached like he’d been sleeping for too long — which was normal for everyone and not just because he was old — and his brain seemed all foggy. When he managed to open his eyes, he had no idea where he was, well, it definitely wasn’t his Hacienda.
He tried to sit up, but just moving gave him a massive head rush. Then, he remembered something tearing into his side and skull, and ripping off his elytra. He remembered falling, and falling, and falling…
And then there was nothing but darkness.
The head rush passed after a few moments, and Beef took the time to look around. His eyes immediately fell onto an exhausted and sweating, helmetless Xisuma. His head was in his hands and he was breathing heavily.
“X..? Are you o—“
His head snapped up. “Beef! Oh thank Xelqua! You’re awake! I was so scared that I messed it up!”
“What..? Messed what up? Why are you sweating..?”
“Don’t worry, all of your questions will be answered right away. I just need to get Etho.” Xisuma stood up, only to fall back down immediately, his hands reaching for his head again. “I’ll just get him… in a second… jeez…” he panted.
“Xisuma, are you okay? What’s wrong?”
Xisuma waved him off before standing up again, this time just barely managing to stay on his feet. He clumsily walked over to the door to reveal a pacing Etho.
Etho immediately looked into the room, his eyes falling on Beef. He then seemed to notice how awful Xisuma looked.
“Xisuma..? Are you okay? Should I call Doc?”
“No, this is nor… normal… I’m fi… I’m, uhh…” Xisuma took the moment to completely pass out, falling into Etho’s arms.
“Normal?!”
Beef jumped up out of the bed, ignoring the slight head rush he got, and rushed over to help Xisuma. The both of them were able to drag X to the bed that Beef had been occupying.
Only once he was in the bed and Doc was on his way, did Beef look at Etho.
“What is happening? Why am I here and why is X passed out and why were you pacing outside?” Beef looked nearly manic from his confusion.
Etho couldn’t help but notice that the weird look wasn’t there at all. It hurt his heart.
“You got beat up by a glitched out phantom that managed to rip your memory-code out. X and Doc found most of your memories and X just put them back into your code.” The explanation was pretty monotone and without any enthusiasm.
Beef’s brain took a while to churn through what he said.
“A phantom stole my memories? That can happen?”
“Apparently.”
“How did you know that that was what happened? Did Xisuma just look at my code or something?”
“Well, not really. X saw something about the phantom, he never said much about it, then Doc called him over here because you didn’t know who Grian, Cub, or him were.” Etho still didn’t have much enthusiasm in his voice, like this was a normal occasion and he was just filling his friend in on the boring parts of the day. “I got here, totally not panicked at all, and you didn’t recognise me either. Then I just watched over you while X and Doc found your missing code.”
Beef could hardly comprehend what Etho was saying. Etho let him take it all in.
“I didn’t remember you guys at all..?” Etho responded by shaking his head. “I didn’t… uh, say anything stupid, right?”
Etho’s heart skipped for a moment, hoping that Beef was thinking about what he wanted him to. “Nothing any more stupid than usual, I guess.”
“Oh, okay, goo— wait, Hey! That’s rude!” The both of them giggled until Doc arrived, which didn’t take long.
“Etho? Where is he?” Doc was much more panicked than Beef had ever seen him.
Etho moved to the side to let Doc see the shining — sweaty — figure that was fast asleep on the bed.
“Thanks,” he said before realizing what he walked in on. “Are you two all caught up?”
Beef looked at Etho, wondering if that really was everything.
“Yep yep.”
“Good. I’ll just make sure X is okay. And Beef, he might want to look at your code once he wakes up, so don’t go too far.”
Beef nodded before leaving the room with Etho.
They just walked in silence as Beef continued to think through what he was told happen. Etho interrupted his thoughts by stopping in his tracks.
“What do you think about going to see Pause? Maybe playing a CTM or something?”
Beef looked back at him, a huge smile on his face.
“That would be great! Like, right now? I can message him!” Beef eagerly yanked out his comm, all ecstatic and grinning like an idiot.
An adorable idiot…
Etho pushed that thought away. This Beef was his friend, and nothing more. He’d known this Beef for years and years and years, and he would be the idiot if he ever dared to break that.
He took that memory and placed it into a mental box. He took his time taping up the box, making sure that it was airtight in hopes of snuffing out the flame he felt. He pushed that box into a dark, dark corner of his mind, somewhere that he wouldn’t accidentally trip on it.
He looked back at Beef just as he finished typing the message.
“Hopefully he answers sooner than he usually does! Let’s go get ready to leave!” And Beef dragged Etho along the path.
Etho just smiled.