Chapter Text
Pantalone burst into the meeting, fuming. It was so unlike his usual composed self that Columbina actually opened her eyes and Childe stopped saying ‘comrade’. He held up a box of crayons by the tip of his nails. The box looked like someone had stuffed it into their mouth and spat it out thirty minutes later. “Who left this on my table?” He demanded.
He scanned the room until his eyes landed on Dottore, who was sweating buckets of water. Pantalone pointed at Dottore. “It was you, wasn’t it!” He yelled. Pierro tsked. “Doctor, how many times do we have to tell you to stop eating crayons?” “But they taste so good, especially the pink one!” He protested.
Columbina gasped. “What do you mean? Are you saying that the pink one tastes the best? Because you are severely mistaken. It’s obviously the blue one.” She stated. Dottore furrowed his eyebrows, not that anyone could see due to his mask. “What are you talking about? The blue one tastes like shit someone mixed with blue fabric paint and then heated in an oven at ninety degrees and then froze and then poured cough syrup over.” Columbina opened her eyes once more. “Oh? And how do you know what shit someone mixed with blue fabric paint and then heated in an oven at ninety degrees and then froze and then poured cough syrup over tastes like?” She challenged.
The other harbingers could sense a battle and glanced at Pierro and Pulcinella to stop the fight, to which they only shrugged. Meanwhile Childe was contemplating whether or not to butt in because yellow was obviously the best, but at the same time he felt that this would not end in the type of battle he was fond of.
However, before Dottore could respond sassily, Pantalone yeeted the disgusting, saliva coated, bite mark infested box of crayon crumbs directly at Dottore’s face, who in return yelped and swatted it off. Unfortunately, it did not fully hit the doctor’s face due to his mask. However, the swatting of the box led it to land on Sandrone’s face. The quiet women shrieked and pulled it off, throwing it onto the middle of the table. There was a deep silence (not silence) as Sandrone aggressively rubbed her face while making vomit faces and noises and as Dottore carefully picked up one of the crumbs and popped it into his mouth, chewing loudly. Arlecchino inhaled and exhaled sharply and loudly in a rhythmic pattern, much to Pantalone’s annoyance. Capitano let out a loud ass sneeze. Monopoly looking ass grandpa coughed.
Finally, after what seemed like centuries, Pierro spoke. “Meeting dismissed, we’ll discuss the matter later, maybe when everyone is in a right state of mind.” As the nine harbingers cleared out, every single one of them spotted the stinky side eye Pantalone gave Dottore, who pulled out a 26 crayons Crayola box from Tsaritsa knows where and already started munching on the crayons, purposefully dropping the blue ones on the ground. Columbina, following the 5 second rule, grabbed them and stuffed them into her mouth quickly.