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A sense of unease worms in Akito’s chest as he approaches the door to the Aoyagi household. It’s not like he’s never been here before, but he’s never had to knock before, never had to enter alone.
Never had to interact with Toya’s parents without him.
It’s just a little scary, but he has to, for Toya’s sake.
The house is still intimidating, even after he’s been here so many times; looming grey walls and a door which looks far too fancy. Akito isn’t used to being around this much money. Still, he knocks.
After a few moments, he hears heavy footsteps. The door opens and he makes eye contact with his least favourite of the three people who could have opened the door.
He has to maintain his front of politeness lest he gets kicked out, Akito reminds himself.
“Oh, Shinonome. Toya’s sick right now, he can’t see you.”
Akito holds back a huff of annoyance. “Good afternoon, Aoyagi-san. I actually have Toya’s schoolwork from today, and, uh… some snacks and stuff for him. I wanted to stay a while, if that’s alright.”
Harumichi raises an eyebrow. “You’ll get sick.”
“Ah, please don’t worry about that,” Akito says, waving a hand dismissively. “I have insane, uh… antibodies, or whatever. I don’t get sick.”
A moment passes before the man sighs. “If you insist.” His face crinkles in what must be annoyance. “Though I must warn you, Toya has been in a foul mood all day. Don’t be surprised if he chases you away, I’ve barely been able to get a word in, even when I tried to help.”
Akito has to physically restrain himself at that, because how fucking dare Harumichi of all people criticise Toya for being sick. Toya hates being sick, and knowing his father, his attempts at ‘help’ probably entailed berating him for not going to school and insisting that he recover and catch up before tomorrow. Akito can barely imagine how horrible Toya is feeling right now, any shred of frustration from him is completely justified.
Akito smiles and ignores his blood boiling in his veins. “Thank you, Aoyagi-san.”
He enters the house and removes his shoes as quickly as possible. “I’ll go to his room. I may end up using the kitchen for drinks and stuff, if that’s alright.”
“Okay. Just don’t disturb me, I’m working.”
Akito nods, grateful that he has an excuse to pretend Harumichi doesn’t exist. “Thank you, Aoyagi-san. Good luck with your work.”
They exchange nods, and Akito darts up the stairs. He’d been seriously worried when Toya texted him in the morning saying he was staying off sick. There’s the illness itself, for one; it must be serious for him to willingly stay off school. But the thing that concerns him more is how Toya must be feeling emotionally. Toya hates being sick more than anything in the world, Akito knows that; he isn’t sure exactly why, but it always hits Toya particularly hard, leaving him frustrated and upset and in so much mental and physical pain. The thought of his dear partner being stuck alone with all the suffering being sick entails for him breaks Akito’s heart a little.
Akito had left school as quickly as possible, running to the convenience store to collect supplies and then sprinting most of the way to the Aoyagi house. He just wants to see Toya.
He approaches the door and knocks; when there’s no answer, he opens it a little.
“Dad, I told you to leave me alone. Get out, go away.” The voice is croaky and full of frustration, but it’s present. That’s enough.
Akito enters the room and gently shuts the door behind him, placing his bags at the end of the bed. Toya whines under the covers. “Please, dad.”
With a gentle exhale, Akito lays his hand in Toya’s hair. It’s messy, he notes. “Toya, love, it’s me.” He speaks quietly just in case there’s any headache or oversensitivity.
With a muffled questioning sound, Toya rolls over; his eyes are half-closed and glossed over. “A–Akito..?”
“Mhm, the one and only.” He leans down to press a gentle kiss onto his partner’s hair. “I came as soon as school let out. I’m sorry I couldn’t be here sooner.”
“N–No, Akito, you can’t be here, you’ll— ngh, you’ll get sick.” Toya contradicts his words as he says them, clutching the end of Akito’s jacket.
Akito chuckles a little, continuing to pet his partner’s hair, trying to detangle it a bit. “Dude, how many times have you seen me sick in the time we’ve known each other? I’ll be fine.”
“Still, I’m…” Toya coughs a little, unable to finish his sentence.
“Sick? Yeah, you are.” Akito moves back, smiling at the way Toya’s hands try to follow him. “So let me take care of you, partner.”
Toya groans in what must be resignation. Akito moves to pick up the bag, sitting on the floor beside the bed. “I got you some snacks and drinks. Medicine, too. What have you had?”
Toya doesn’t answer. Akito nudges him gently. “Toya?”
“Mm… feel sick.”
Akito jolts, leaning back to grab the bin just in case. “Like, you’re gonna be sick?”
“No, just… feel sick.” He grunts, curling into himself. “Feel awful, Aki.”
The pain in his voice breaks Akito’s heart. He leans forward to gently brush Toya’s hair out of his eyes. “I know, partner. But we’re gonna get you through this, alright? I’ve got you.”
Toya doesn’t respond, instead grabbing Akito’s wrist and pulling his hand into his chest. The ginger smiles slightly. “Toya, can you tell me what you’ve had to eat today? And any medicine you’ve taken?”
“Mmng— I had some porridge this morning. And, uh… painkillers n’ cough syrup.”
“Okay, cool.” Akito gently eases his hand out of Toya’s grip to look through the bag; the little whine he earns makes him feel incredibly guilty for it. “If you had that in the morning, you need to eat something. You want something hot or cold?”
Toya groans. “Don’t wanna… anything…”
“I know, partner. But you gotta,” Akito says gently. “Your body’s not gonna be able to get better if you don’t eat.”
His partner turns in the bed, stubborn. Akito sighs. “Will you try just a little? For me, Toya?”
“…Fine.”
“Thank you. Well done, Toya.” Akito smiles. “So, what would you like? I got some ramen and snacks, but I can make anything you have here, too.”
“Ngh… ramen.”
“Cool,” Akito says, fishing the plastic cup from the bag. “You want any more meds before I go make it?”
Toya points to his desk. “Headache.”
Looking across, there’s a box of ibuprofen on the table; Akito quickly grabs it and gets the water bottle on Toya’s bedside, handing them both to the boy. “Can you take that on your own or d’you need help?”
“‘M fine…”
“Alright.” Akito leans forward to kiss Toya’s forehead. “I’m gonna go make the ramen, okay? I’ll just be five minutes.”
He moves to leave, but is pulled back in again by Toya’s hands on his jacket. “W–Wait, Aki… don’t go, please…”
Turning back, Toya looks… terrified.
Again, Akito’s heart breaks.
He leans down again and speaks as gently as he can. “Toya, can you let go of me a sec? I’m not going away yet, don’t worry, I just wanna grab something.”
“P–Promise you won’t leave if I let go?”
“I swear on my life, Toya.”
Hesitantly, Toya loosens his grip on the fabric enough that Akito can pull away. He scans around the room until he finds Toya’s schoolbag, approaching it and unclipping the little orange cat plushie he keeps on it. He takes Toya’s phone from the bedside and starts a call with himself then sets both items down on the mattress beside his partner’s head.
“Look, we’re on call with each other. I have to go make your food, but I’ll talk to you the whole time, okay?” He nudges the plushie. “And this little cat is a stand-in for me. You always say it looks like me, right?”
Toya stares at the items for a moment before pulling the cat close to his face. “Okay,” he whispers, shaky.
Akito smiles. “Cool. Like I said, I’ll be quick. Are you okay for me to leave the room now?”
Toya gives a barely discernible nod.
Akito pats his head one more time and approaches the door, closing it gently behind him. He puts his phone on speaker. “Hey, can you hear me okay?”
“Mhm.”
“Do you want me to just talk to you while I make everything?”
“...Please.”
“Y’know, your brother came and attacked me at school today, askin’ if I knew anything about how you were,” Akito says with a chuckle; he makes it to the kitchen and flicks the kettle on. “When I told him I was coming here he even gave me some money. The cookies in the bag are from him, by the way.”
“Oh…”
“Hey, don’t sound sad about it, he was just worried.” He takes some chopsticks out of the drawer; there’s a particular set with blue petal decorations that Toya finds pretty, so he takes those. “If I were sick Ena would probably treat me like a biohazard.”
“Mm.”
“I had math today, unfortunately. You’re probably gonna have to tutor me again, sorry.” The kettle finishes boiling; Akito takes it and pours it into the ramen cup. “D’you want anything else while I’m down here?”
He gives Toya a moment to think, filling the cup with a little extra cold water so it’s not too hot. A muffled voice comes through the phone after a few seconds. “Coffee.”
Akito chuckles. “Alright.” He knows that coffee might not be the best idea while Toya’s sick, but right now, he’s going to give his partner whatever he wants. Anything to make him feel better.
“Hey, I’m gonna mute the phone for a second, alright? Just while the coffee machine’s running. I can still hear you, though.”
“‘Kay…”
With the coffee machine set up, he mutes the phone, flinching a bit when it starts running. Those things are way too loud. He turns his mic back on as soon as it’s finished. “Hey, it’s done. I’ll be up in a sec.”
“Mhm.”
Akito quickly pours the coffee into a mug and picks up both cups, carefully carrying them up the stairs. Again, he enters the room as quietly as he can. Toya shifts in the bed to look at him.
“See? Told you I’d be quick,” Akito says, clicking off his phone. He places the items on the nightstand, helping Toya up into a sitting position. “I didn’t put the flavour packet in the ramen, wasn’t sure if it’d be too strong. It’s there if you want it though.”
“Mm… thank you, Aki…”
Truth be told, Akito feels a bit like melting every time he hears the nickname, but he’ll let it slide for today. He nudges his partner’s shoulder. “Shift over.”
Toya obliges, albeit slow and shaky, and Akito slides in beside him. He hands over the cup ramen. “Just tell me when you want the coffee. I got water too.”
They fall into silence after that; Toya looks exhausted, and Akito knows that he can’t make conversation right now. Things are peaceful until Toya drops his chopsticks, hands trembling. “Oh.”
Toya stares blankly at the cup before picking them up again, but as soon as he lifts the next mouthful the noodles slip out of the grip. His hands are shaking too much. Akito gently takes the cup; he doesn’t want Toya to drop it and get burned. He picks up the noodles himself and holds it up to his partner’s face. “Here.”
“Huh..?”
“Eat it.”
“B–But… you can’t…”
“Yes, I can, partner.” Akito lowers the chopsticks for a moment. “I said, I just wanna get you feeling better. You have to eat to do that, and I don’t mind helping.”
Toya sighs quietly, but opens his mouth. Akito is content to feed him like this, and to be honest, it’s actually a little cute. Not that he’d ever tell Toya that. After a while, he’s finished a quarter of the noodles and half of the coffee.
“Think that’s all I can handle…”
Akito smiles, placing the cup back on the bedside. “Alright. Is there anything you want right now?” Gently, he grasps Toya’s hand. “Whatever you want, say the word and I’ll do my best.”
Toya looks blankly around his room for a good minute before he reacts. Akito waits. “Mm… book.”
Following his partner’s gaze, there’s a red book laid on the desk, a flower press bookmark sticking out of the end. Toya groans. “Wanna read, but… head hurts…”
“Why don’t I read it to you, then? You can rest your eyes for a bit.” Akito doesn’t wait for an answer, climbing out of the bed and approaching the desk, moving the cups while he’s at it. He sits back down and nudges Toya’s shoulders. “Lie down, you can rest on my lap.”
“‘Kay. Thanks, Aki.” He shifts so that his head leans on Akito’s thigh, half-covered in blankets.
Akito opens the book; the bookmark is set in the page separating two chapters, so Toya must have left off at the end of the chapter. One hand idly falls into Toya’s hair, and Akito folds his free leg up to rest the book on it. “Should I just start reading from the beginning of the chapter?”
“Mhmm… ‘s an interrogation scene, you like those.”
“Oh, cool.” Akito clears his throat and starts reading, absentmindedly scratching Toya’s scalp as he does so. It’s something he knows his partner finds soothing.
The book is quite interesting, actually; the main character is an innocent suspect, and though Akito lacks context, it looks like she’s being framed intentionally by some unknown person. While he doubts he’ll read any after today, Akito gets into it enough to read out loud without feeling awkward. It’s comforting once they both ease into it. Toya’s weight and warmth on his leg is pleasant, and the house is quiet aside from his voice, his partner’s soft breathing, and the occasional rustling of sheets and turning of pages. It’s nice.
Until he feels shaking. Akito looks down, and Toya is crying, hiding behind his hands.
He sets the book aside without a second thought, moving to gently ease Toya back up. “Hey, hey, Toya, my love, what’s wrong?”
Toya props himself up on an arm. They make brief eye contact before he looks back down. “Sorry. ‘M sorry,” he whimpers, free hand coming up to curl into Akito’s jacket. “I’m sorry, Aki, I—”
“Shh, stop apologising, just tell me what’s up.”
“I— I hate it, Aki,” he sobs, fully curling into Akito now. “Feel— I feel h-horrible, can’t do anything… I– I wanna rest, but I can’t sleep, an’— m-my dad kept coming in, couldn’t… couldn’t talk, and— and—”
His breathing picks up, on the border of being unmanageable. Akito scoops Toya into his arms and sets his partner on his lap; Toya lets him, too weak to resist. Akito gently wipes tears from his cheeks. “Toya, I know it’s scary, and you can cry and rant as much as you need to. But you gotta breathe, okay?” He tugs him a little closer, so their chests thump together, Toya’s head hooked over his shoulder. “When I breathe in, you breathe out. Just follow what I’m doing.”
Toya makes a little choking noise, but nods. Akito takes a deep, deep breath, emphasising it enough that Toya’s chest follows his; his partner coughs out some air. He exhales, and Toya drags a shuddering inhale. Akito rubs his back in a hug. “Well done, just like that. You can keep talking, just make sure you breathe with me.”
They repeat the cycle a few times, breathing together until Toya is able to keep up. Only then does he speak again. “I— I hate it. I feel so– so awful, Aki, I feel disgusting.” His voice isn’t coming out in wracking sobs anymore, but he’s still crying. Akito doesn’t comfort him yet, as much as it hurts; Toya needs to get this all out. “I don’t wanna feel like this— gross and sick, it all— everything hurts, Aki, just wanna sleep, w-want this stupid illness to just kill me already—”
Akito has to step in at that; “No, Toya, no, it’s just a cold. It’s not gonna kill you, nor would I let it, okay? You’re sick, you’re not thinking straight. Let it out. You’ll feel better for it, I’m here.”
“I’m sorry. ‘M sorry.” Toya’s hands grip into Akito’s jacket as if it’s the only thing keeping him on Earth. “I know. I–I’m being dramatic, it’s not— I’m just a little sick, I shouldn’t—”
“Hey, no, that’s not right either,” Akito murmurs, bringing one hand up to comb through Toya’s hair again. It’s sticky with sweat. “You’re sick. Doesn’t matter how bad it is, if you don’t feel good then you can be as upset as you want. I’m gonna be here no matter what. I’m gonna take care of you, got that?”
Toya exhales a shuddering breath into Akito’s neck, shoving his face into the fabric of the hoodie. “Th–Thank you, Aki, thank you…”
Toya shouldn’t sound that relieved about getting basic help when he’s this sick.
…Deep down, Akito knows that’s part of the reason he hates it so much. He pushes the thought away for now.
“You’re gonna be alright, Toya. It’ll pass in just a few days. I’ll stay, I won’t leave you alone.” Akito cranes his neck to kiss his partner’s hair. “Just try to calm down a bit. You can cry, I’ve got you.”
They sit like that until Akito’s legs are numb, with Toya crying out his frustration and Akito murmuring comforts in his ear. Neither of them make any significant movements in that half hour.
Toya is the first to move. He shifts off of Akito’s lap with a soft groan. “Sorry.”
“No, nothin’ to apologise for, partner.” Akito leans across to take Toya’s hand again, thumbing over his knuckles. “How are you feeling? D’you think I can do anything to make you feel better right now?”
“Ngh… feel dirty. I haven’t—” He turns away, looking almost guilty. “Haven’t gotten out of bed, so…”
“That’s alright. You want a bath? Shower?” His hand moves to wipe a few remaining tear tracks from Toya’s face.
“Can’t… I’m having hot and cold flashes, the water would be uncomfortable…”
“Alright, okay.” Akito thinks for a moment before landing on something. “Why don’t you let me wash your hair? You can just put your head over the side of the bathtub.”
Toya curls into himself a little. “I–I don’t… you can’t—”
“If you’re worried ‘cause you feel like I’m doing too much for you, stop it.” Akito allows his voice to become a little sterner; Toya needs to understand this. “I’m here for you, partner. You didn’t ask me to come over, did you? I chose to. I just wanna help in any way I can.” He pulls Toya forward, so their foreheads bump together. “Please, let me do this, partner.”
“...Alright,” Toya chokes out.
They hold each other for another few moments before Akito eases his way out of the bed, once again feeling tremendously guilty. He approaches Toya’s closet. “I’ll wash your hair, and we’ll get you in some fresh clothes. Should help you feel better. Anything in particular you wanna wear?”
The only response he gets is Toya pointing at him; it takes a moment to register the request, but Akito chuckles when he does figure it out. He slips off his school jacket and places it over the chair. “Alright. I’m gonna borrow some of your stuff so I don’t get my uniform wet.”
Toya shifts to point at one of the drawers now. “Your stuff from last time is in there. ‘S clean.”
“Cool, thanks.”
In a few minutes, Akito’s changed and gathered fresh (or his own) clothes for Toya. He bundles them in his arms and turns to his partner. “I’m gonna go put these in the bathroom, okay? I’ll be back in a sec to help you through.”
Toya nods, and Akito darts back and forth between the rooms as quickly as he can. When he returns, his partner is standing, leaning heavily on the bed and shaking dangerously. Akito rushes forward to hold him. “Hey, hey, you alright?”
“Mm… tried to follow you, nh— dizzy…” His head drops onto Akito’s shoulder.
“Alright, just give yourself a minute. I’ll help you.”
Eventually, Toya nods, and Akito moves to properly wrap an arm around his waist. He’s halfway to carrying his partner like this. If it came to that, he wouldn’t mind. It doesn’t, though; they stumble into the bathroom, and Toya sinks down onto the pillows Akito had set up on the floor beside the bathtub.
The slights had been off in Toya’s bedroom to keep the headache from getting worse, so Akito hasn’t had a good look at his partner’s face until now. He looks… bad. Eyes puffy from crying with dark eyebags, skin paler than usual, except for his red nose. Akito feels so bad for him; it’s his duty right now to help Toya feel better however he can. He lays some towels on the edge of the tub and gently guides Toya’s neck onto them. “That comfortable enough?”
Toya groans an affirmative, and Akito perches on the edge of the tub beside his partner’s head, with one leg in the bath and one on the floor. He takes the showerhead, a plastic cup, and some soaps and lays them in the tub. “I’m gonna start, okay? Tell me if it’s too hot or cold or if you want me to stop.”
As well as he can in the position, Toya nods. Akito rolls up his pants and turns on the shower, adjusting the temperature until he’s satisfied, then starts spraying it onto Toya’s hair. He keeps the water pressure low. Toya grumbles after a moment. “Hot…”
Immediately, Akito turns it away from his head, adjusting the taps again. Toya nods when he puts it back on his hair. Being careful not to get any water in his partner’s face, Akito moves the shower head around until the hair is soaked through. He oozes some shampoo into his hand and plants both hands into Toya’s hair, gently starting to lather it up. Toya relaxes back a little more.
Then, Akito has an idea.
He shifts his hands so they’re resting on each side of his partner’s head, pressing a little firmer and rubbing rhythmic patterns into his scalp, assisted by the slide of the soap. Toya exhales a pleased sigh almost immediately.
“‘S’at nice?”
“Mhmm. Feels good. Keep going.”
Toya’s always had a thing for having his hair ruffled or pet or touched at all by Akito. Of course he’d love head massages. Akito’s almost embarrassed not to have thought of this sooner.
“Alright, tell me when you want me to wash the soap out.”
They both ease into it; Toya is becoming visibly more relaxed with every second that Akito rubs his head, and it’s quite a calming motion to perform. Five minutes pass in silence.
“Hey, Toya,” Akito starts, and his partner gives a hum in response. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but… you mentioned your dad when you were upset earlier. Did something happen?”
Toya groans, bringing his hands up to press against his eyes. “Nothing… nothing happened, I just. He came in to ask if I was going to school, couldn’t… couldn’t explain it well, and I got frustrated. Snapped a bit. And he… y’know.”
Tears are starting to well in his eyes again. Akito slows his motions a little. “It’s okay. You’re fine, Toya, your dad’s just a dick.”
“I… I started it, though.” A little quieter, he adds, “Keep going.”
Akito obliges, pressing harder again; he’s grateful for the little outlet it provides to channel his anger. “Doesn’t matter. Even if you got annoyed first, your dad’s still a grown adult, and you’re a sick teenager. He should be able to cope. You’re allowed to be frustrated right now, Toya.”
“I… yeah, yeah. Okay.” He removes his hands from his face. “Aki, c-can you sing for me..?”
Akito chuckles. His partner is so cute, even like this; it’s honestly unfair. After a moment, he sings out the gentle opening notes of Cinema. Toya relaxes again.
After half an hour of quiet singing and soft touch, Toya asks to go back to his room. Akito finishes washing his hair and helps him change; when he has the jacket on, Toya pulls the collar up to his face and inhales deeply. Akito smiles.
Now, they’re back on the bed, with Akito sitting behind Toya to towel-dry his hair, another gesture that he leans into. When Akito’s done, his partner just flops backwards onto him, back resting on his chest. Toya looks up at him. Pretty silver eyes flutter open to meet his.
“Aki,” Toya barely whispers, the corners of his lips finally curling up into the gentle smile Akito has been waiting to see all day. “Thank you. I feel a bit better.”
Akito can’t do anything but smile back and lean down to kiss his partner’s nose. “Anytime, love.”