Chapter Text
CARRY ON, CATRA!
by
THE FRANK
Catra and Adora S. Greyskull
Part 1
New York really is the city of cities! It is indeed a place, where a girl can really have three days on the town and a side dish of morning in a single night! Well, not to brag about my socialistic abilities, but I sure had had just one of those, three in a row even, if I don’t miscalculate.
1 - 2-3, No I didn’t!
Well, it was after the thirdish of these nights it all began. It had been one slick of a jumper, that night, I say! It began at two with cocktails with Binky, proceeded to a variety at five, a sip of champagne at seven at Poppys place, dinner at eight at that place on that street what’s it’s name again ah well it’s not important, dancing on the tables with Binky at ten - not at the same restaurant though -, discussing the opportunities for Russia with a bearded man at eleven thirty, another dinner at one, sharing a cab with three people I could swear was my friends from oxford but turned out to be german tourists at two and cocktails at three again. And somewhere around sometime after that variety dancer had been drinking brandy from Binky’s hat I think I lost my stockings.
…Who the devil is Binky?
Well, anyway, somewhere between the closing of the subway and the first paper boy began to disturb the sleep of honest people, I rumbled into the rooms we rented, prepared to rouse Catra up from her beauty sleep to give me some H&E combined with her patented solution for curing the old copperbeater. However, she was sound asleep and looked so peaceful that I couldn't bring myself to it. Instead I sneaked into the kitchen to steal myself one or two of the emergency sandwiches we keep for moments like this. I would have killed for a cup of tea, but I have promised Catra on the life of my nephews NEVER to touch a gas cooker while well-oiled again. So a Tonic water from the refrigerator had to do.
As you may have experienced, sometimes the odd cocktail makes you slightly weepy and nostalgic. I began to think about my old life in back in the old country… Dear old england! Dear old white cliffs of Dover, dear old Tipperary! Dear old Coventry, dear old Brighton, where a gal could have almost as fun as here… And dear old London, where I slept in my dear old lair in my dear old bed with my dear ol… dear Catra. I began to shiver a bit, I would say that it felt kind off lonely and cold all of a sudden! I may have been a bit buzzed, but I recognize the old devil homesickness anywhere I see it! I say, had the opportunity occurred, I would have ran straight down to the docks and bought a ticket, but… since the events considering my ex-fiancee, it was to early to return. Aunt Sharon had not cooled down enough (A letter from Glimmer said that she was still “practically fuming”) so as hard as it was on an Londoners heart, I had to stay in the big apple, like a worm waiting to become a butterfly. …Or is that Larvae? Anyway, there was at least one thing I could do to get my mind off! I could just go back to the old new bed and lay down next to Catra. I pray that she wouldn’t change! I strolled out towards the bedroom again. Where she lay, still sound asleep. My Catra. My treasure. My knight. My… yes… ehrm. anyway!
Unfortunately I have to admit that in my slightly sozzled estate, I had completely forgotten where the old bedroom was!
I kept strolling around the rooms, and while it was maybe the third or fourth time we rented these rooms, I couldn’t for my life remember where to turn to reach the bedroom! I had passed the landmarks way too many times now. There were the dreadful oil paintings of a meadow in New Jersey, there was a copperstick of the statue of liberty, there was the coatrack that I had to make sure not to bump into again… Finally as I opened the right door on a whim, I found myself in the living room. Satisfied with at least having reached some familiar ground I stayed a second to look out the French windows to greet the new morning. Like they say in that one song, dum dum da dum… Mornings! You know the one, right? I say, at least the living room began to grow on me! The view, the atmosphere… even the smell! I decided that even if I couldn’t find Catra, the sofa would be good enough to rest my weary feet or whatever the poet said.
I turned around to take in the room as it slowly lit up with the rose fingered Eos fingers. (B+ in Greek litterature!) There was the table, there was the cocktail tray, there was the sofa, there was me asleep on it.
I had to rub my eyes, but there it was. I looked one time, two times, three times, but it was me! The blonde hair, the smoking, the red lipstick. I frowned. How had I managed to go to sleep without noticing? But if I was sleeping on the sofa, who was I then? Catra? But I had seen her asleep on her bed when I got in! This was becoming too much for me, and while a gentlewoman must always be a gentlewoman, there are times when you have to take extraordinary measures! I ran out of the room, opening every door until I found the room where Catra was. I ran in and grabbed what I thought was her and began to shake her awake.
“Catra! Catra! Catra! Wake up!” When she didn’t react, I shook her even more, almost screaming. “CATRA” Then I heard a well know voice behind me.
"Miss Greyskull, what is the matter? And may I inquire why you are shaking my pillow?”
I slowly turned to find Catra, fully dressed and wearing an apron, ready to begin the day. I stared at her while I opened and closed my mouth for a second, and then it all came back to me. "Catra!" I cried, "who am I?"
"I… beg your pardon miss?"
"Who am I, I said!?" With some sharpness this time.
"You are miss Adora Swordhand Greyskull, miss, daughter of the late Earl Rancor Greyskull and…"
I instantly bit her off, partly because do know my family and Catra can and will recite it up to the seventh generation if not stopped, "Are you sure!?"
"...Yes, miss Greyskull?"
"But… But I was sleeping on the sofa last night!"
“...I believe you were out on the town with some friends last night, miss?”
“That may so be, but I have still been sleeping on the sofa! I am sleeping there right now! But I can’t very well be sleeping, can I?” Catra gave me a worried glance, took a careful step forward and took my hand.
"Miss Greyskull… did you by any chance try anything stronger than a cocktail last night? Perhaps a small pill or a white powder…?"
I sweaped her hand away, and jumped three feet back (I really did! I have strong legs.) with indignation.
"CATRA!" I exclaimed. "I am not making up C&B stories! As I rumbled in last night, there you were in bed, there was I in the kitchen and there I was AGAIN on the sofa! Now, I can't be in two places at once, can I?"
Catra gave me another worried look as she seemed to be torn between different emotions. I could barely hide my excitement, to hear her explanation for this! Finally she spoke with great concern in her voice.
"Miss Greyskull… you didn't try to make tea, did you?"
"Catra! Really! I have been sleeping in two places and THAT is what you get your unmentionables in a jiffy about?"
"No, I didn’t ," I added After a rather poignant look. "I remember last time and I am not going through that mess with the insurance company again! Look, I get the feeling that you are not taking this matter very seriously!"
"Miss, I assure you…"
"And don't try to give me that old buzz about a 'natural explanation' Catra! I may have been a bit spiffed but my eyes were as trustworthy as they are now! I will show you!"
I ran out to the living room, still in my smoking. I must say that I am happy that I didn't do some sort of exclamation they always do in movies, you know the kind, 'Lady Teazle, by all that's wonderful!" Or "There you have it, officer! That's a dead body if I've ever seen one!" because I would have swallowed that whole. I stood there mouth wide as Catra entered. The sofa was empty.
"Miss Greyskull?"
"Eh...eh...eh...eh...Sofa!" I couldn't get a single word out!
"Indeed, miss."
"B...b...b...I… I…"
"Miss Greyskull, please calm down, you are upset. May I suggest you sit down, or even lay down. I will get you some tea and perhaps a…"
I didn't want tea, I was going mad! Cold water! Cold water in the face, that was the only cure, not a drop of tea or brandy! But as I opened the bathroom door, there I was again ! I was sure, I would recognize myself anywhere! Long blond hair, white smoking shirt and black trousers, (the jacket hung over the chair you don’t name). As I turned around to look at myself, I noticed I had wiped the lipstick off my lips and now I had begun… Shaving?
I stared at myself with fear and confusion, I looked back at myself with… well more annoyance than anything. I raised my hand and tried to talk but again words refused to leave my mouth. I didn't speak either. Then Catra materialized behind me.
"Lord Greyskull arrived rather late last night, Miss. I took the liberty to offer him a place to rest for the night and then breakfast and a chance to freshen up before he spoke to you."
That was too much for me and the world went black. I remember a faint yell, "ADORA!" and "SIS!" and then I was out.
When I awoke I was laying on my bed, wearing a rather nice peach coloured dress, and silk stockings. (How Catra manages to do that without waking me baffles me every time.)
Next to the bed was a plate with a few sandwiches and a steaming cup of tea. I was not convinced that I had not been dreaming, or if I still was or whatever the hay was happening. But the tea and sandwiches felt and tasted real enough. Catra always buys real butter when we're in the states, and that taste is something I will recognize anywhere! After devouring them I left the bedroom to find Catra and the other me that wasn't me waiting for me, amiably chatting. It's funny, what a difference a cup of tea makes to the mind! Any rainy morning can be turned into a sunny and charming day with a nice, steaming cup at your bedside table!
For me, the cup cleared the mists of yesterday and now I saw the truth as it was.
The other me was definitely not me, but my brother, Adam Greyskull. Lord Greyskull the fifth, if we are to be precise.
Since I haven’t really had the chance to introduce you formally to him, I can tell you that we are twins (I am the oldest), and as such we are quite the lookers both of us. I do have to say that he is a bit of an airhead but he is nice and pleasant enough. We grow up as two peas in the same pod, and when we weren't at school, we spent all holidays competing against each other. Rugby, arching, cross country running, horsing, fencing… I think I am in the lead by two points nowadays, but we don’t have the time to meet as often as before.
As I entered, he rose from his chair (All 5 ft. 7 of him. He’s grown since last time!)
“Adora!”
Well, what do you answer to that? Only one thing I say!
“Adam!”
Tow hich he replied.
“Adora!”
To which I replied, with some gusto since he obviously was going for it,
“ADAM!”
Abot that Time, Catra decided to make her voice heard with a discreet cough.
“Miss Greyskulll? Lord Greyskull?”
“YES?/Yes?”
“Perhaps a more polite greeting would be in place, Miss Greyskull?”
You can always trust Catra to take control of the situation.
“Oh! Oh yes! Jolly good to see you, bro! But what brings you to the new world? And to the big apple, I mean, you can barely stand London unless it’s a sunday.”
“Ah! Well… you see… This is most embarrassing. I had to see you, you know. And I only learned a forthnite ago where you were staying and… well, business and all that had to be dealt with so I couldn’t come here until yesterday.”
“I believe, your lordship, that miss Greyskull was wondering what reason you had to come here.”
“Ah! Ah yes! Yes. Well, Adora. You see, I am in the most bally hobble. It’s pretty rummy, at least sort off.”
“My dear Adam, say no more! You are at the right place for rummy business! I mean… If you need to open your heart to lay the troubles in the old kit bag, this is the best place for it! Catra, can you refill the nose-bags for us and get us some more tea? This sounds like something you don’t discuss on an empty stomach!”
Catra nodded and unmaterialized from the room. I refused to let Addie say anything about his troubles until we had the H&E steaming in front of us. Hard troubles always goes best with breakfast I say!
As Catra reappeared and we sat down to inhale the food, I did a slight reflection about how curouisly the world could spin sometimes. As I think I said… No, I didn’t did I? As I didn’t say, me and Adam don’t see each other as often these days. Since we both came of age, he being a man and all, became the lord Greyskull. Therefore he should be the one living in a huge London Villa or a big estate and deal with the family business, and I should live in the country knitting kittens and petting sweaters and all that. But we don’t, I live… You know where I live, and while we still own castle Greyskull, no one lives there. It’s huge and old and cold and looks like a skull. Adam lives where ever he lays his hat (currently Essex) because while I love the old beehive, he can't stand London for more than a few months at the time. He travels the world ‘pretending’ to look after the family business (On paper I should as well, at least Aunt Sharon keeps telling me that. But why should I? We have good accountants and they give me an envelope on how much money I have on my account every month anyway!) but in reality, he writes books. Under some pen name I can never remember, he is the author of the minor successful series about He-Man and the Masters of the universe. I haven’t read them, save for the occasional glance to know what the latest title is, mostly cause they seem a bit dull and slightly too much muscles, tanned skin and overadverbic fight scenes, but men are now and forever small boys.
As I had reached that point in my rumination, he had finished his eggs and spoke up. Catra gave him a look, she thinks Adam eats with a plobbyness unworthy of a gentleman. (She sometimes thinks the same about me but I am trying at least.)
“Adora! I need to get married!”
I must say, that was a surprise. Not that he has found someone, Adam is a hopeless romantic. I can’t see where he got that from. But, he is a kind-hearted soul so there was nothing to do but congratulate him!
"Oh! Well, congratulations then!"
"No! It's a disaster! I don't want to!"
“Really? Hm. Bummer. Why not? Is the lady not cute enough or have you finally decided you actually prefer boys?
"Adora, you know I can’t possibly make that choice!?”
“Well, I guess you have to, since you are getting married and the laws are still as bally un-understanding as always?”
“...Alright, yes. But that is not the problem, and I didn’t say I was getting married. I said that I had to get married!”
I had the question on my tongue, but I didn’t need to put it in two words. I knew instantly the reason. Aunt Sharon.
You see, it's pretty simple. When there is something afoot that has a slight pernicious angle to it, you can always count on aunt Sharon being either involved or the instigator.
Imagine my surprise then, when he shook his head.
“No. It’s uncle Howard.”
I think you could see my surprise from a mile away. We are not quite sure how Uncle Howard became part of the family because compared to me and Adam (And the little we remember of father) he seems like an anomaly. And even if Aunt Sharon is scary,she has an energy and at least some kind of force to drive herself forward. Unfortunately, by forcing others to pull her, but at least it’s there. Uncle Howard (Or Lord Ordac as he’s formally known, he has some sort of foreign ancestry) is sitting in his home doing nothing but brooding and watching his money grow. His only passion in life is chemistry and we see very little of him.
That meant that Adams next words led to Catra having to close my mouth.
“He summoned me to Alarum Court a month ago.”
Alarum court, or “the sacred sanctum of solitude” as we used to call it as kids has been Uncle Howards home for as long as I have known. It lies surprisingly beautiful and as far away from everything as possible in the middle of Dartmoor. The closest town is Exeter, I think that says it all.
“...Wha?”
“Yes, my words exactly! Well, I was served a nourishing but extremely grey lunch, Veal stew, cheese pie and wild cherry compote, and there was not a single drop of brandy to go with the coffee. And Uncle Howard didn’t say a word to me during the whole meal. It wasn’t until we had finished the coffee that he finally said something.”
“What did he say then?”
“Hmpf.”
“Excuse me for asking!”
“No, Dor. That was what he said. ‘Hmpf’.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Then he lit his pipe, so I figured that at least I could light a cigarette to clear the mood. And there we sat, smoking. Finally, he spoke. ‘Adam. I hold no illusions that you find this conference as dreading as I do.’. I protested of course but he cut me off. ‘No reason to lie, boy. I do not like you, I find your presence disturbing my work. But unfortunately it is my duty as the oldest in the family to make sure your fathers wish can be fulfilled.’ I said ‘what’ and he just gave me a cold look. ‘Mr Grizzlor. Please bring me the will. And a glass of lemon water.’ You remember his valet?”
“Oh yes! I remember. Didn't he look like he was covered in fur?”
“Yeah… He did. And does.. Anyway, he came back with the paper and the water for Uncle. Nothing for me, but he did give me an ashtray. Anyway, uncle Howard cleared his throat and said, ‘As you well know, the title and the estate Greyskull is Fidie. The money, however….’ He cleared his throat again ‘...Ah yes. After a few legacies and some breadcrumbs to servants, and 100 000 £ to your sister…’ Here he drew a deep breath, ‘To my son Adam Shieldfist Greyskull, I give him an immediate legacy of 150 000 £ and the rest of my fortune, 450 000 pounds should befall on him on his 25th birthday. However.’ He paused and gave me a look of purest opprobriousness, ‘as I want the family to prevail and make sure that the name greyskull stays prominent in britain, should he NOT be married within six months of his 25th birthday, he will only get 50 000 £ and the rest shall go to another benefactor. I have called you here to make sure that happens.’ ‘What, you want me to be married’ I said. ‘No, I don’t. Frankly, I prefer to see you as far away as possible, but it is my duty to at least inform you about this. And now I have. Get out of my house before the clock strikes two or I will send the dogs after you.’ Well, I instantly realized I need your support in this matter, and I went straight to London.”
“Straight to London? Adam, even with the slowest trains you must have gotten word of where I was within a few days! But it took you a whole month to get here?”
He squiggled in his chair. “...I didn’t have the feels to go to London straight away… Besides! The meeting with uncle Howard gave me inspiration to write the confrontation between He-man and the Panther people in the abyss of/”
I cut him off before he went on tangent about his darn plots.
“Adam, your birthday was in March,and now it’s June! It’s… Only a few months! Why didn’t you come earlier?”
“...I really didn’t want to go to London…”
I shook my head.
“Alright. And now you are here. How long did you hesitate before you could go to New York?”
“Just a few days. Actually. You see, I am currently working on a chapter where they visit the underground city of Uranggkk and I figured that I could find some inspiration from/”
“Alright alright. Good good, yes yes. Thank heavens for inspiration…And you want my help.”
He blushed and looked away. “Actually… I wanted both of your help. I need to find a wife.”
Ah. Of course. Even if his book sold well, keeping the Castle walls upright deemed slightly more money than a bestseller could bring.
“All right old boy! Shouldn’t be too hard! What should she look like?”
“Hmm… I don’t know. I haven’t given the idea a thought.”
“Alright… How should she be?”
“Well… I can't say, really…”
“Okay then… Any kind of hobbies?”
“Oh. Well… dreadfully silly of me, but I haven’t the faintest.”
This is where Catra entered the conversation.
“Forgive me for interrupting, your lordship. But I can tell that this situation has brought both you and Miss Greyskull some distress. Let me ask you this question: Do you want an british girl or someone else?”
He shone up.
“Oh! An British girl! Definitely an british girl! I need to understand what she says!”
Catra nodded. “I see. In that case, even if time is short, at this very moment, Miss Greyskull is unavailable to return to England. I hope you understand.”
Adam nodded. “Oh yeah! That leech thing! You escaped the snare by the second, Dor!”
“Indeed your Lordship. However, in a few weeks, we should be able to return. Perhaps, if you concentrate on finishing your book? I suggest that we visit you on the 21 of July, you are staying at your cottage in Ramsgate?”
“Oh! Yes, that sounds splendid! Splendid! Then I will have time to finish the battle of Co/”
“YES THANK YOU, ADAM!” I very rarely raise my voice, but with my brother I make exceptions. “How about you finding yourself a nice hotel and then we can have lunch! And then I will show you New York! Let’s forget everything about women for a few days, shall we?”
He was more than glad to accommodate me. We had some smashing days in The B A before he went home. I may have doubled down on my nightly endeavors because frankly, this thing with the marriage did worry me. But, I found comfort in the fact that Catra had yet to say something about the matter, which she hadn’t. So if she believed it could be achieved, then It would!
End of part 1.