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He slowly opened his eyes, having difficulty adapting to the room's darkness. It seemed like he was back on his bed. He vaguely remembered falling asleep on top of his desk; both Haruka and Touma must be angry at him for his constant self-neglect. It was something he would have to make up to them later on.
He slid off the bed and fumbled for his shoes, putting them on once they were found. He walked as light and as silently as a gentle breeze, opening the door to his room and finding the living room dark and quiet. He lit up every candle with a single movement of his hand, lazily illuminating the space.
He looked at the couch and the windowsill: Neither Haruka nor Touma were anywhere to be found; they probably went together somewhere. The thought made him smile relaxedly—he was happy to know how well they got along. It was, in actuality, an example he should also be following.
He went straight to his study through the living room, which was just as messy as always. He could already hear Haruka complaining over how careless he was during his investigations, but it, inevitably, always ended up like this. Time should be used to read and test out the theories he made with all the information he compiled. It was a constant trial and error; he didn’t have the time to think about tidying up some papers.
Even after explaining it to Haruka, he still couldn’t understand him and thus always complained about being the only one who tried to keep the house tidy, though he still kept doing all house chores with admirable dedication.
Touma sometimes helped him, though the few chores he could do were minimal, as he had been banned from trying to do most of them. That one time he managed to set fire to the water he tried boiling in the cauldron was enough to let Minami and Haruka know how ridiculously dangerous Touma was when left in charge of any chore.
While Minami buttoned up his dark-as-night heavy leather cape over his shoulders, he thought about every time Haruka came to lecture him for leaving his clothes on the floor or how Touma always came back completely covered in dirt each time he went hunting; each memory was as precious to him as the lives of his familiars and always made him remember why he worked so hard every day.
He grabbed his hat and, pressing the brim against his lips, a string of words flowed like a mysterious chant, causing it to be covered in warm light as white flowers emerged from it. He put it on and left the veil that adorned it to fall over his face. Then, he went over to his desk to grab his staff, made from the wood of a maple as old as its owner. Now ready, he headed out of the study.
When he opened the main door he found a snowy landscape, as depressing and lonely as one would expect from the harsh winter. The full moon shined on the night sky, giving him the feeling that it would try to guide him this time around. He took a deep breath and then ventured along the forest path.
The cries of the forest’s bugs and the howls of its owls were the only sounds that reached his ears. The night’s landscape always seemed much more beautiful to him than the day’s; for some reason, he felt freer, and full of a unique energy.
He remembered his mother used to tell him that the night was the home of witches and demons, of all those damned and abhorrent beings from the hand of their creator. Only the heretics, sinners, and the blasphemous reunited under the moonlight to profess words of adoration to a being the church called the evil incarnate. Minami never understood what they meant; he sincerely never cared, either.
After being expelled from the monastery for becoming the friend of a beautiful snake and exiled from his town for speaking out against all the arrogant and absurd teachings, life had become way easier. Sometimes he was capable of hearing his mother’s voice telling him that he would regret his actions, but that he could always go back to her to get back on the correct path.
So stupid and unnecessary. So many years had passed since and he never thought to go back on his knees to ask for forgiveness, not even on the worst times: when he was injured for stealing food from a farmer’s warehouse, or when had gone weeks without a single bite of anything other than the cold snow that accumulated on the streets. In his exhausted mind, death was always preferable to all of his other options. However, to his good fortune, he did not need to succumb to the alluring and seductive prose of the reaper, all because of a man who found him in his most desperate moments.
The man took him under his wing and instructed him as his disciple. According to him, Minami had a natural talent for magic, and leaving him to die on the side of the road would be a most idiotic idea; and even then, he gave him the choice to either become a mage or to keep living as a wanderer. Minami did not think twice then and signed the pact—the one that would become his only real regret.
To say that lady luck had been on his side for being found by that man was too much, but maybe his mistake had been letting him get so involved in his life. Sakura Haruki threw him away like someone who discarded a toy that had already broken down.
He didn’t give him an explanation, not even a goodbye—he just disappeared from existence entirely. Minami never heard from that man again, much less from his own lips.
Some time after, continuing his journey without a destination, he found a black dog that terrorized the townsfolk from a small town down north. All they could tell him was that the dog appeared at the side of the road every night, as if it was waiting for any fool to scare to death and devour their soul.
Just a silly superstition; that was what Minami thought after learning that it was a Grimm lost from its guiding duties. It seemed like it had been abandoned by a family of mages who took it in despite what it was. It wasn’t hard to guess the reason for its actions, and neither did he blame it for what it did. A world where the unknown was judged and condemned only led to an incessant search for peace and certainty.
Minami tried to explain it to the entity, but the dog didn't seem to want to leave. That being the case, he had no choice but to ask if it wanted to be part of his family. The dog hesitated long enough to deem it prudent, but finally accepted a pledge that made it into his familiar.
Touma Inumaru was the name Minami had granted him, and even though the questioning gaze of his familiar asked for an explanation of such a name, he never knew how to explain it in a way that wouldn’t make him disappointed for the lack of a deeper meaning. It was fitting; there was no other reason.
On the other hand, Haruka was found at the mercy of a cold winter day. A box with the body of a lifeless little kitten watched by another, identical one next to it. Minami didn’t take too long to realize it was the soul of that feline. When asked why it was still there, the kitten answered that it didn’t know how to cross to the other side, but that it didn’t want to, either.
Hearing it say that its life had been an unjust one and that it didn’t even get a chance to prove itself made Minami feel moved by its situation. It didn’t take long for him to adopt the little one after he noticed how quickly Touma took a liking to it, even if the kitten rejected him time and time again. In the end, Minami had no choice other than to bring it with him and make it into his familiar.
Unlike Touma, the kitten accepted his name, Haruka Isumi, without too much of a fuss, though it was obvious how happy it made him to finally have a home.
It was in this way that Minami got his little family.
While he reminisced about the past, he did not notice something slick and cold slide up his arm and wrap itself like a scarf around his neck. It was a pair of yellow eyes and a hiss that captured his attention.
“Ah, Ryou-san. So you fell asleep inside my bag again,” said Minami with gentleness as he petted the snake’s head with a finger.
The viper hissed, showing its small tongue as if it was talking to him.
“I did not escape from home; I just wanted to go out for a walk. Inumaru-san and Isumi-san also do. Way more times than me, I could say,” his tone seemed to be one of protest, but his face was as serene as always.
He got another hiss.
“I’m not going to kill anyone, Ryou-san. I’m also not hunting anyone from the church.” He frowned slightly. “You know we just live peacefully in the forest.”
The viper hissed again.
“You guessed. In truth, I’m going to see him,” his voice came out almost as a whisper. Minami stopped walking when he felt Ryou-san getting inside his cape again and started sliding down his body and onto the floor.
“I know you’re not happy,” he said, amused, smiling softly. “Go straight back home when you’re done. Don’t stay wandering outside until morning. Understood?”
The snake gave him a brief look and then started sliding through the snow, almost instantly going out of sight. Minami then resumed his walk, thinking about Ryou-san’s very unpleasant but very true words. Was he really letting himself be tempted by him? Was it really a problem that he felt weak because of their closeness?
Ryou always had a particular way to perceive and understand certain situations, and Minami guessed it was normal that he didn’t understand the kind of relationship he had formed with the youngest son of the Midou family.
Rather than being a sweet and simple feeling, what they had built together was based on interest and a need to not feel abandoned again, much less wounded by those who did not know how to appreciate their sacrifices. Being loved even if it wasn't genuine managed to fill part of the emptiness they felt. At least, that was what Minami thought of their relationship. Whether Torao felt the same or not didn’t really matter to him.
Their meeting could even be described as worthy of a tragic romance novel: a wounded dragon trying to hide his reality in a depressing, almost human form that was unable to conceal the immensity of its power, found by a wandering mage who carried the rejection and hatred of the world on his shoulders.
Minami still remembered Torao’s pitiful attempt at manipulating him to stop him from speaking about his whereabouts, offering him immeasurable riches as if it were the only possible solution. It was due to the mage’s lack of reaction that the dragon realized how uncomfortable the situation was. Even though Minami understood it was nothing more than a rich child throwing a tantrum, instead of mocking him or using him, he decided to help him without saying anything.
It took Minami some time to understand why he cared for Torao and why he didn’t mind talking or getting involved more than was necessary. Many times, he thought it was the resemblance between that injured dragon and his past self that wandered for many years in total uncertainty. If it weren’t for Haruki, he would have died somewhere in the forest, forgotten even by the mother that awaited his return. Maybe he didn’t want Torao to go down the same path.
Shortly after, he realized he was just trying to repay a self-imposed moral debt. Even so, as the days spent with the dragon went by, he understood that they didn’t only have the same wounds, but they also shared other, more positive traits. Unwittingly, he learned to trust the comfort he felt in their nightly talks and the safety that the other’s company gave him.
Torao was less serious and imposing than he ever imagined, he seemed to have a talent to exasperate him to the point of feeling tempted to rip out his tongue just so he could avoid listening to such a disproportionate amount of self-confidence. However, he had a hypnotic charm and a wit charismatic enough to make him enjoy their little debates and their usual fights; which, for some reason, always seemed to have double entendres that lit a warmth on his stomach.
He remembered then the first time he witnessed his childish side, and couldn’t stop a little laugh from escaping from his lips like a sigh; he wanted to see him more than he thought.
Minami stopped walking in front of nothing in particular—at least, that is what it looked like at first glance. For a mage as skillful and used to the magic of a dragon as him, it was easy to notice the immense amount of mana that extended further from the visible foliage. It was a mantle created by Torao to fool any curious person from invading his zone, but mostly to evade his family, being then baptized as his ‘leisure zone’.
Minami extended his staff and traced a simile in the air using his own mana. The symbol fused with the magic of the dragon and enveloped his body in a cloudy and ethereal glow as if he had been accepted and encouraged to advance, something he was quick to do.
The environment itself suffered a sudden change; even when the snow was still present under his feet, the intense cold didn’t burn the tip of his nose anymore. Neither did he feel the constant need to be alert as if he was being watched at all times. Due to this, he let himself relax and calmly breathe.
It did not take him long to find a clearing in the middle of the forest, whose view was hidden by a cottage to which the ostentatious and eccentric path he had been following was directed, one decorated with shiny and expensive bricks.
He remembered the first time he saw the ‘humble’ cottage Torao had insisted on building for their fortuitous encounters; it had been impossible not to laugh. The dragon had been so puzzled that he got upset at not understanding Minami’s constant teasing, but Minami still took his time to explain to him exactly what was wrong. He understood the dragon’s covetous and materialistic nature, but embedding gold ingots as big as those on bricks to build a path, using an enormous emerald as the door’s handle, having a statue of himself made from marble with two rubies embedded as eyes to guard the entrance—it was the opposite of modest and austere.
Torao also found it humorous when the mage deigned to share his impressions and admitted that those were some of the details he thought each house should have. Minami didn’t even want to imagine what his true home would look like.
He advanced through the golden path, focusing on the smoke coming from the chimney and the lights that illuminated the house’s interior. He was the one who arrived late this time. Maybe he had to apologize. He climbed up the staircase and, before he had the opportunity to knock, the door opened before him.
A tall and tanned man barely covered by a robe leaned against the doorframe; his brown hair fell over his face as it dripped a little bit of water and covered hypnotizing, seductive ruby-red eyes that didn’t look away from Minami. The mage was able to notice the small sneering smirk on his face, which announced the beginning of nonstop complaining. However, Minami spoke before the other could, saying softly:
“Mido-san, did no one ever teach you that answering the door with barely any clothes on is impolite?” His eyes ran through the dragon’s sculpted body from head to toe. “Not everyone would be pleased to see you showing so much skin.”
“That’s your way of apologizing for making me wait?” Rebutted the dragon with feigned arrogance as he leaned towards Minami. “Plus, you're wrong. Anyone would be feasting after seeing me like this. Though you have more benefits than just looking.” He narrowed his eyes, accentuating his smirk even more.
Minami hummed in answer and pressed a hand against the other’s chest, just to push him away and finally enter the cottage. The warmth of the fireplace quickly hit him, melting away any leftover cold from his body. He took off his cape and perched it over the coat hanger by the entrance.
Before taking another step, Minami felt his hat being taken off his head. He turned around to see the culprit and found him with a fine smile adorning his lips. He observed the dragon putting the hat over the coat and walk past him as he wagged his tail with derision. Minami only sighed and left him be.
“Want a glass of wine?” Said Torao as he showed him a bottle.
Minami didn’t answer immediately, keeping his eyes on said bottle, and inevitably feeling the situation slightly humorous.
“Did you grab another bottle from the family cellar? One of these days they will notice their wine collection has depleted quite a bit thanks to your lack of self-control,” Minami said calmly, still smiling.
He sat down on the barstool by the kitchen’s aisle, observing the dragon open that wine bottle much like a professional, and similarly, pour the contents into two glasses in front of the mage with that same grace.
“Losing one or two bottles won’t make a difference,” Torao made a strange grimace as he talked. “They insist I take everything I need, so that’s what I do.”
“I don’t think that meant you could take advantage of their resources to sneak out twice a month to get drunk in a ‘modest’ cottage in the forest with a useless, penniless mage,” Minami’s words carried a hint of playfulness that made the small smile on his lips quite counterproductive.
“Since when did you start treating me like this? I think it’s too small of a gesture to invite you to a little place like this and offer you wine that costs a few thousand gold.” The confidence with which Torao said his words made Minami laugh lightly. The dragon took one of the wine glasses and saw the mage through it. “But if you at least want to brag about the sex, I have no problem listening to you.”
Minami raised his shoulders to question it. He grabbed the stem of his own glass and swirled the liquid gently.
“I don’t have anything to say about it. I also don’t know who I’d tell I’m fucking a dragon without them considering calling the church.” His voice sounded a little softer than before, giving Torao a skeptical look as he took a drink from his glass.
“Well, I think it’d be funny to see their reaction if you said that to their faces. You could take the freedom of explaining a little.” Torao said, narrowing his eyes and drinking a little more of the wine.
“It’s too early to talk about things like this, Midou-san. We’ve barely drunk one glass.”
“Sorry, my mistake.” Torao drank a little more. He picked up the bottle and refilled both their glasses. “Has anything happened since the last time we saw each other?”
“Nothing in particular. Things have become more peaceful since the Midou family decided to take control of this zone,” Minami said without much importance, taking another sip from his glass. “I wonder if that was because of someone’s whims.” He looked at the dragon again, receiving a little scoff from him. “Truthfully, I’m thankful. Since the knights stopped showing up around here, I’m not afraid of letting Inumaru-san and Isumi-san go alone to the city.”
“It’s surprising how overprotective you can be, though there are reasons to be so.” the dragon looked away as he drank from his glass. “Anyway, you should learn to give them some space. But well, I have no right to tell you how to raise your familiars.”
Minami busied himself with taking small sips from his drink while he pondered the words spoken by the dragon. It was true that since they became a family, he constantly tried to keep them close and in his line of sight, but he always considered it more an act of worry than possessiveness or control. He wondered if it was really like that, and not his fear of being abandoned instead.
“Hey.” Called Torao.
By the time he realized, he had already drunk the rest of the wine in one single swig. Minami didn’t feel like saying anything about it and just left the glass on the table, tentatively looking at the bottle. Torao noticed his intentions and left him to refill his glass, though less fully than before.
He heard Minami click his tongue, which made him chuckle, finishing the wine left over in his glass. The mage held his own and swished it around, looking more thoughtful than before, and that change in attitude didn’t go past Torao, who served himself some more wine and drank it all in one swing.
“The way you talk about them makes it seem like they are capable of taking care of themselves. Isn’t Touma a Grimm? Even if Haruka is only the spirit of a cat, there’s nothing to worry about as long as they’re together,” Torao tried to sound reasonable, but he wasn’t sure if that would really work with Minami.
“I guess you’re right…” The mage whispered before drinking the last drops of his wine.
Minami reached out to take the bottle, but Torao removed it from his reach, getting an annoyed glare that he completely ignored. The dragon stood up and grabbed both glasses alongside the bottle; he was sure they had already drunk enough—especially the mage, who currently seemed to exist more in his own world than the reality they both shared. He then held Minami’s wrist and urged him to get up, getting a confused look from him, but he did not show any resistance.
The dragon then released him and proceeded to hold him by the waist to help him sit up on the table. He pressed both arms to the mage’s sides to take away any room to escape, being surrounded by Minami’s legs in return. Torao narrowed his eyes, checking Minami's disposition, who only hummed in return.
“You need to do something about that foolishness of yours—about thinking you have a solution for everything,” Torao whispered, finding comfort in a more impersonal tone that made his voice sound deeper than it actually was. “You cannot always be in control, Minami.”
“I don’t remember having asked for your opinion on this,” the sourness in his voice could have made the mood more tense, but the way he looked at Torao was enough to make him understand that it wasn’t exactly a rejection. “Midou-san, I believe that you are better at kissing me than trying to cheer me up with words.”
“Haha… Maybe my talent doesn't go beyond satisfying you in a more mundane way,” he said with resignation, but rather than looking disappointed, he hurried to catch Minami’s lips softly and gently.
The mage didn’t think twice before reciprocating the gesture, feeling his body shiver from the gentleness of the other’s careful motions. It felt as if it were the kiss of two innocent children who experimented in their eagerness to express a love bigger than themselves. It wasn't as if Minami knew what that actually felt like, but that’s how he imagined it the first time they kissed, though reality had been different.
Even if he didn’t want it, some of the emotion Torao awoke inside of him made him remember old anecdotes that he preferred to leave buried until his very last day alive. The dragon’s hands ran through his clothes as if it were the first time he touched that body whose weakest points he already knew so well. Why was he being so gentle? Why did he want to treat him so well? Why right now?
“Midou-san…” Was the only thing he could say when they parted to recover their breaths, but his call was lost between the sighs and moans that Torao forced out of him with only kisses.
The dragon unbuttoned and removed every ribbon that stopped him from slipping off the garments that covered the mage’s delicate body. For Torao, it wasn't particularly challenging to leave him in just his undershirt, not even when he had to release Minami to remove his annoying pants out of the way. Besides, it was always a pleasure to feel the need that Minami welcomed him back with when he returned to the spot between his legs. Minami imprisoned him with more intensity, refusing to let him go again. To Torao, that childish gesture was the cutest thing in the world, and he couldn’t do anything else other than give him what he needed.
He slid one hand between the inner side of the mage’s thighs, while the other tried to sneak inside the remaining garments and caress every inch of that soft and smooth skin, until he managed to trap one of the nipples between his fingers, playing with it.
At this point, Minami had gotten rid of every trace of gentleness or consideration as he needily strived to devour the other’s lips in a kiss. This was how he liked it. That’s how he needed it to be. Torao was never gentle and kind with him, that’s not how Minami wanted him to be.
If Torao wanted to use his body to satisfy his lust to the point of destroying him, he couldn’t care less. That was the way they worked; few words, without concern for the business of others and without the need to fake cordialities. He was always rough, intense, and hungrier than anyone else; if he suddenly wanted to treat Minami with care, he wouldn't know how to react. He didn’t want to get lost again. He was sure he wouldn’t be able to bear falling into the same lie of the reflection of a man who was only a ghost in his memories.
Haruki always had been kind and good at doing things at his own rhythm, one that always made him daydream as he felt caresses running over every inch of his body. Fantasies of a love that never was, and which now tasted as bitter as medicine on his tongue. If he could get rid of it, if he could stop thinking, maybe his heart wouldn’t feel as heavy as it did.
The dragon’s touch felt more distant than it should have. His moans came out of his mouth by inertia and all he could do was try to breathe so as to not drown in his own pain. His arms clung tighter to Torao’s back, scratching and blindly searching for the other’s lips, embracing the numbness that the warmth of his tongue gave him.
Many times, he thought this was what they both needed—that they were attuned by the desperation to make their burdens disappear with the temporary ecstasy. He truly believed that things were like this and that was why they went so well, but now he realized that it was a lie he chose to believe and cling to as if it were his song of salvation.
When did he start to need him so much? Why did he give him the power to soothe his heart’s wounds with his presence alone? When did he allow the tears to fall and expose his weakness? He didn’t want Torao to touch him like that, he didn’t want him to kiss away the tears. He wanted to fade away and forget all the overwhelming feelings that made him feel so lost.
Minami opened his eyes, not knowing when he closed them, and between the tears, he found Torao’s attentive gaze, one he did not understand no matter how much he tried to find the answer.
“Since when can you make such a gentle expression...? Why are you looking at me like that…?” Minami’s voice stuttered, his raspy throat making it hard to speak, but he still tried to pronounce each syllable.
“Is there something wrong with me worrying over someone who started crying out of the blue? I think you have a very superficial view of me.” Torao said with a gentle and comforting tone, making sure Minami was the only one that could hear him.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t even notice…” Minami almost pulled away enough so he could wipe the traces of tears that still covered his cheeks, However, he was stopped by the hand pressed behind his head.
“Don’t apologize. I’m sure we never agreed the only thing we would do here was have sex with no strings attached. I mean, just because we’ve been doing that until now doesn’t mean we have to make it the sole purpose for our meetings.” The dragon joked carelessly, noticing how the corner of Minami’s lips curved into a clumsy smile. Torao carefully leaned closer to the other’s tear-stained face and slowly kissed his cheeks again, starting to pepper small ones all over.
Minami parted his lips, but what came out were soft sighs of adoration over the dragon’s unbecoming actions. Even if those words were true, for him it was enough that they did this just once, that these signs of affection became an illusion and transformed into a dream—one from an unusual moment, one that would sound like a lie when he remembered it in the future.
Even if it was allowed for him to treasure it as reality, he couldn’t let himself further any of these feelings. Torao was not for him to keep, and he never would be. Minami also couldn't promise to stay by his side for the rest of their lives. It was too much time for feelings as fragile and precious as this—ones that would likely disappear come the winter breeze.
He would allow himself to be seduced by those caresses, and thus would he embrace every moment as if it were the last. After all, the only thing he needed was to drown this loneliness, even if it was with lies; and, maybe, heal the dragon’s wounds just enough until he decided that he did not want Minami anymore.
That was all they needed.
That was all he needed.