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“no, this isn’t right,” I said while erasing another part of my sketch. It’s been third paper I sketched but I still cant make it right.
Damn college application and their headache deadline. You were a high school student who gonna have some damn life later at college. But unfortunately, your target prodigy was art and art need portfolio. Similar to a website things or some professional artist showcase their best work. This more like a test where you should give one best drawing whenever it’s digital or not.
Luckily, you have this one drawing that have good lighting and effects. Of course, it might not be the most meaningful art, but at least in your eyes, it’s already the best.
Now for the final art, the black and white drawing. We gonna draw according to the system prompt and in 14 days, you need to submit it.
Like what the hell?
Luckily you managed to find out that the prompt they gonna used for this year from your boyfriend, aka Law. He’s gonna have same campus as yours. Both of you already planned far ahead. If one of them cant get into same campus, then they wont give up.
And unfortunately for you, today, D-8, you still cant find any inspiration. You already holding your pencil and eraser. But you keep erasing the sketch or even abandoned the paper. Replacing it with the new one. You put your fingers into your face and slowly pulled it down. It’s frustrating.
You also got issue, youre not used to draw semi realistic or even can draw crowded things in one damn paper. It said that every parts gonna be full.
“take a rest, babe,” a soft kiss on your cheek burned down all your frustration about your application things for college. Here next to you was your boyfriend holding cup of tea, giving a soft smile. Or did he? Since you already sleep deprived, you would guess that smile just part of your hallucination.
“hey, Law,” you murmur weakly. You lay your head on the table and sigh.
“you really in bad shape,” Law chuckled. Even though it’s not that bad, but you feel giddy and self conscious after his word.
“it’s just, college…” you already talked about this to Law. You don’t want to lose and got rejected.
“I know, but you can do it,” he kissed you and smirk. “just do your best. Accepted or not, we’re still couple,”
“but, I cant handle long distance relationship…” you pout and holding his hand together. Law give a soft smile before he kiss your knuckles. “you can,”
After a while, your expression still not change. Law looked at you and caressing your hair.
“what’s wrong?” he said in stoic expression. But you can hear that he’s worried.
“it’s just, everytime I faced new challenge like this, my mind thought I cant do it and I do my job messily. Or like last time where I got into a competition but because of pressure and thought about I wont make it because it always be the same.”
Law hold your hand and rubbing his thumb on her palm. You know Law aren’t good with words, but you can feel hes trying to comfort you. Your eyes got closed.
“I am scared of new challenge, something like this. Is it because I often got rejected and lose in every single competition that even one or two test makes me want to run away?” you said again in whisper. You glad you had Law with you. He wont talk unless you asked him for advice.
“I just scared, those competition not a life decision. While this one is the big deal. I am scared… what if I lose again?” you clench his hand and hide your face inside your other arm. Law snake his hand to your head and give a small pat.
“its fine,” Law said with a soft smile. You looked at him in teary eyes.
“I know you don’t want to fail but life is a shit. But you’re a strong person,” Law tilt your chin so you can looked at him in the eyes. His gold eyes stared at yours.
“youre strong and delicate. Your digital drawing are wonderful. Do you remember when you said that AI might replace creative industries in the future and you said its already grow into wild level?”
You surprised he remembered and you answered it with a nod.
“but then you said that there’s this things called Glaze and Night shade things that would protect your art from getting scraps by AI. Your life right now just like that,” Law lean closer and kiss your forehead.
“in what way?” you chuckled and smile sweetly.
“just like when AI was in public, your life now on the edge of the cliff, just like other artists who suffered the same from AI. But then somebody make a tool to avoid AI get the art stole and combined together with other art.”
“right now you’re still on the first phase. Where youre in the middle of panic and scared. Of course you had a choice. You can choose to study literature or something else. Just like other artist reaction, they can choose to not drawing and publish their art.”
“scared, of course,” Law give space for you to understand. “but if you never try, then you don’t know what await on you. Maybe its good, or bad. As long there’s people support you---“ before he could finished his word, you lean closer and kiss his cheek.
Law stunned and loosen his grip on your hand. You give a cheeky grin. “aww, thank you honey. I love you so much!” you immediately walking away, jumping around. His words bring your mood back. But not erase all your fear. You still scared, yes. But having someone on your side and cheering you up quite weird. You never got encouragement like that.
You look away while trying to hold your smile.