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Han Yujin wasn’t weak. He hadn’t fought his way through two years of training and Boys Planet just to be called weak. But he was sick often, a weaker immune system that he’s had since he was a kid. Everyone had gotten used to it on the show so there was no one to ask questions when Yujin woke up and immediately took about five different pills and vitamins. It’s just that no one really knew how bad it could actually get. For the most part, he’d managed to keep himself healthy, only getting a few fevers here and there during Boys Planet, but the stress they were under now was completely different.
Today, he’d woken up with all the normal signs of being sick he was used to. Sweating, chills, and becoming wildly dizzy when he’d tried to sit up. He drops his head into his hands as he finally manages to sit up, trying not to whine as he does. They were headed to Japan today so he needed to get it together fast.
“Yujin-ah,” Hanbin’s voice rings from the hallway, “We have about 45 minutes until we need to go. You still have to shower.”
It takes him a moment to even realize that his leader had even spoken, but it was apparently long enough for Hanbin to get worried. A cold hand pressing against his forehead makes him flinch slightly.
“Aish, do you have another fever? Hao-hyung, can you get Yujin’s medicine?” Hanbin calls as he runs a soothing hand through the maknae’s sweat slicked hair.
“Is he sick?” Taerae’s voice filters through the fog in Yujin’s mind.
There’s a brief conversation between who Yujin thinks is the three oldest members and Taerae as Hao helps him drink some water and take his fever reducers, gently shushing him when he fusses. He’s coherent enough to know they’re talking about him, but he’s just not able to pick apart what they’re actually saying. He’s jerked slightly into focus when someone helps him stand up, holding most of his weight as someone else starts gently pulling his pajamas off and then slips some comfortable, but more appropriate clothes for the airport.
He’s eventually herded into the kitchen and sat down between Matthew and Gyuvin, a small bowl of soup with some rice placed in front of him. He blinks at it dumbly for a few moments before Matthew nudges him.
“Do you want some help?” Bless his Matthew-hyung for giving him a choice.
He nods slowly, “Please, hyung.”
These moments were really the only times he was willing to let himself be babied by his members, most of them jumping at the opportunity, but some of them like Matthew always allowed him to control how much babying they did.
His state doesn’t get much better as Matthew spoon feeds him bits of soup. None of them liked using his fever reducers unless they absolutely had to. They were hospital grade and made him so loopy that the only change was the fact that his fever wouldn’t get worse. He still has to have someone help him walk, slip his shoes on, fit a mask on his face, and get him into the van.
“We should keep Yujin between Jiwoong-hyung and Gunwook,” Hanbin says, “They’ll be able to keep fans away from him better than Hao and I can.”
“But Jiwoong-hyung is always in the back,” Ricky speaks up.
“I can stay with Yujin,” Matthew says, trying not to jostle said maknae who’s head was resting on his shoulder, “So that Jiwoon-hyung can stay at the back.”
Jiwoong nods, “They’ll be close enough to the front that they can get your attention if anything goes wrong.”
And with that it’s decided. Yujin allows himself to float for a while before he takes notice of something through his haze. He feels warm. Really warm. Matthew always runs hot so there’s a good chance he hasn’t noticed, but Yujin does.
“Hyung,” He mumbles, trying to get the attention of literally any of his eight members, “...Hyung!”
Eight heads snap towards him, “What’s wrong Yujin-ah?”
“Hot… don’t think the pills worked,” He slurs out.
“It’s silent for a moment before Gunwook whispers a quiet, “Oh fuck.”
This hasn’t happened to them before. In fact, the last time his fever reducers had failed, he was barely 13 years old. There’s really no time for them to do anything as the van comes to a stop allowing the screams of their fans to leak into the car.
“We’ll have to deal with this inside,” Their manager says, “The longer we wait in here, the more attention we draw, we need to go.”
It’s abundantly clear that his members aren’t happy with what their manager had said, but there’s nothing they can do about it. Yujin reaches up and slaps his cheeks to try and force himself to wake up. It works enough and he’s able to get out of the van by himself. He stands next to Gunwoo, mask pulled high on his face as he tries not to flinch at the flashing camera lights.
Everything considered, he does a good enough job of pretending he’s fine. At least until they get inside the airport. Somehow they’d gotten mixed up and Yujin is now flanked by Ricky and Hao as more and more fans start crowding around them. Hanbin is just up ahead, pushing his way through the crowd with the help of their very few security guards and staff. Yujin is being shoved back and forth which only serves to make his head throb.
At first, it’s not the worst mob they’d ever experienced, but then a hand reaches out and manages to grab a chunk of the hoodie that Yujin was wearing. He doesn’t even notice at first, it’s not until the person yanks him that all hell breaks loose.
Yujin is pulled harshly to the side, out of reach and sight from his members, and stumbles into the person that pulled him. There’s a terrifying moment when he meets her gaze and he realizes he knows who this sasaeng is. She was an older lady who’d been caught stalking him outside his school. In a moment of panic and because of the feverish haze, he shoves himself away from her, tripping over his own feet and losing his balance. He feels the back of his head knock against the ground, but he doesn’t register any pain.
Suddenly, all of his worst fears are happening at once. He’s alone, no familiar faces near him, sick as all hell and the woman is getting closer, fans screaming all around them.
Then, there’s hands under his arms and he can hear Jiwoong yelling. He can feel Hao’s rings digging into his skin through his clothes as he’s pulled up. His brain feels like it’s boiling, leaking out of his ears and his eyes feel like they’re going to pop.
Hao is dragging him somewhere when something, a door he assumes, clicks and then there’s quiet.
Quiet until Hanbin’s voice filters in, “What happened?”
He sounds angrier than Yujin’s ever heard him, voice trembling slightly with his rage.
“That woman grabbed him,” Hao says, “She pulled him away before me or Ricky could react.”
The conversation escapes him after that, Yujin focusing more on not freaking out. There’s a pounding in his head and a wave of dizziness that’s nearly knocking him off his feet. He stumbles slightly, bumping into Gyuvin who immediately wraps an arm around the younger’s waist. The dizzy episode only gets worse, making him whimper as he reaches up to hold his head.
“Yujin?” Gyuvin sounds terrified, “Hey, what’s wrong?”
His loud voice draws attention to them and the fact that Yujin is halfway to the floor, legs crumpled beneath him as Gyuvin desperately tries to hold him up. Everyone can definitely hear the pitiful noises he’s making.
“Put me down,” He moans, trying to push down the raging nausea that’s threatening to ruin Gyuvin’s favorite shoes.
He’s not sure how much of his babbling they can understand, but Gyuvin must catch at least part of it because soon enough he feels the floor meet his back.
“Yujin-ah,” Their manager’s voice sounds from somewhere above him, “You need to tell me if this is seizure level.”
Through the overlapping panic of his hyungs, he can feel a wave of dread wash over him. He hadn’t even considered this could be leading to a seizure, but he takes a quick note of what he can and nods, “Think so…”
His manager miraculously understands and quickly moves Yujin on his side, bracing against him. He really doesn’t want to have a seizure in front of his members and, as he’s trying to fight it off, he feels himself sobbing.
There’s muffled voices and shuffling behind him, then Hanbin’s voice breaks through, “You’re okay, Yujin. Aegi. just breathe, hyung is right here.”
The nickname gets to him quicker than anything else Hanbin had said and it’s the last thing he latches onto as the seizure starts.
No matter how many seizures he has, it never gets easier. Things come back in chunks, starting with his hearing. It’s mostly quiet, save for a few sniffles somewhere and a conversation that’s slowly becoming clearer.
“-Supposed to be out this long?” He thinks that’s Jiwoong.
He hears a hum in a response, “Usually it takes people a while to come out of them, just give him a minute.”
“Does he get them often?” Maybe Taerae asks.
Yujin finally manages to regain some sense of movement as his head twitches to the side.
“Aegi? Are you back with us?” He’s suddenly aware of the repetitive movement of who he assumes to be Hanbin running a hand up and down his arm.
He hasn’t managed to get his tongue to work so he just grunts and does his best to nod, though it probably looks just as jerky as it feels. After a few seconds, he forces his eyes open and blinks a few times to focus his vision. He pushes against Hanbin’s grasp and onto his back, looking up at his leader who looks more distressed than Yujin has ever seen him.
“How are you feeling?” Their manager’s face appears next to Hanbin.
“Hurts,” He says.
“Normal hurt or hospital hurt?”
“Normal,” He answers.
There’s brief protests as he forces himself up onto his elbows and then fully upright. His body also protests the sudden movement, vision swimming for a moment as his hand shoots out to steady himself on whoever is closest.
“Medicine?” He asks, his brain still catching up with the whole talking thing.
“Right here,” Blindly, he reaches out until his hand finds the two pills and he pops them into his mouth, swallowing them dry.
“Flight?”
“Rescheduled, we have a while till we need to get to the gate.”
With that, Yujin allows himself to relax and fall backwards into his leader’s chest, exhaustion finally catching up to him. Hanbin reacts quickly and starts rhythmically massaging the nape of the younger’s neck. He just floats for a little, allowing the seizure and subsequent adrenaline rush to wear off.
“You need to eat,” Hao says, kneeling in front of him and holding out a pack of crackers.
Hanbin reaches out to take them, but Yujin gets to them first. Now that his other medicine is working properly, he’s more aware than he’s been all day.
Once he finishes the crackers, he turns to look at the rest of the group, “Ask your questions now, I’ll probably sleep the rest of today.”
“Were you ever going to tell us?” Gunwook sounds understandably upset.
He sighs deeply, “I hoped I wouldn’t have had to. It’s been years since I’ve had an episode this bad. I thought it was just a dizzy spell at first.”
“Do you get those often?”
“The dizzy spells or the seizures?” He asks back, “Seizures are rare, dizzy spells less so. I’m just good at hiding them.”
All of his members make noises of protest at that.
“You shouldn’t have hid them from us, what if something had happened like today and no one knew where you were?” Hanbin says, frown deepening.
“That wouldn’t ha-” Yujin starts, only to be jostled slightly as Hanbin turns him so they’re facing each other.
“It doesn’t matter if you think it wouldn’t happen. Yujin, you have to understand how terrified we all were during this,” Hanbin’s voice starts shaking and, to Yujin’s slight horror, his eyes start watering, “We care about you, Yujin. This whole thing affects all of us, granted not to the same level as you, but we’re a family now. Don’t hide things like this from us if you don’t want us to worry, it’ll just make us worse.”
Yujin stares at his leader, who now has a few tears dripping down his cheeks, before glancing around to take note of everyone else. Hao is sitting with Ricky, hand running through the younger’s hair to calm him, Gyuvin’s eyes are still misty and red, Matthew looks sicker than Yujin feels, and the rest of them are in no better condition.
Slowly, Hanbin’s words wash over him and the tips of his fingers go cold, “Hyung…”
Like before, eight heads snap to attention and he can feel Hanbin begin to panic, “Hyung didn’t mean to get upset, I’m sorry-”
Yujin rubs at his eyes to try, and fail, to stop the tears that have started, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come out like this.”
“Yujin-ah, can you look at me?” Jiwoong’s voice is soft and draws Yujin’s attention before he can even think about it, the elder wiping his tears gently, “There you are. We don’t want to make you upset, but you need to understand that it was dangerous to keep it from us. On Boys Planet it was fine because there were staff around us all the time, but now you need to trust us some more okay?”
Jiwoong coos when Yujin lets out another hefty sob, nodding at his eldest hyung’s words. With Hanbin’s help, they move Yujin to Jiwoong’s arms, who immediately wraps him up tightly. The rest of the group moves to sit around them too, multiple sets of hands soothing him as he cries.
Before long, due to the exhausting day and now a second time crying, Yujin starts nodding off, head dropping against Jiwoong’s shoulder.
“Aegi,” Hanbin whispers, “We need to get to the gate, then you can sleep.”
He whines a little, not wanting to move from the comfortable position he was in currently. Plus he was so tired.
“I can carry him, there shouldn’t be any fans right?” Gunwook says.
“No, they think you already left,” Their manager confirms.
It takes a minute, but eventually they get Yujin on Gunwook’s back, the second youngest offering to carry him before even being asked. The walk to their gate is infinitely easier now that there’s no fans around them and they make it to their destination quickly.
Finally, Yujin gets to his seat, right next to Hanbin who seems wary to let the youngest out of his sight. He all but melts into the usually uncomfortable airplane seat, feeling as though he’d never felt anything more comfortable.
“Sleep, aegi,” Hanbin says, brushing a few strands of hair from Yujin’s face, “I’ll wake you up when we get there.”
All he can do is hum, sleep already pulling him under, knowing that he’ll be safe with his hyungs.