Chapter Text
Kim Taehyung had once been beautiful. He remembered a time when he had soft, silky brown hair like chestnut and honey, eyes a deep dark chocolate and a smile that could stop a grown man in his tracks.
He had a slender body, lithe and willowy and skin so soft and lush, it bruised at the lightest touch. A delicate little doll, they used to call him. The prettiest prettiest doll. But everyone knows that dolls are made to be played with.
Played with, broken and beaten and finally thrown out with the rest of the trash. Taehyung pressed the ice pack under his eye, wincing. The man had been drunk, angry, horny and broke. Taehyung had told him he wouldn’t suck him off unless he paid upfront.
And the bastard had punched him in the face. And now, Taehyung would be out of business for two days at last. Not a lot of men wanted to fuck a mouth on an ugly bruised face.
And Taehyung’s leg was hurting too much for him to go all the way, no matter how much they offered to pay him. A gust of wind came through the broken shards of the nearest window and Taehyung shivered.
He was in the dirty bathroom of a seedy club in some alleyway, dressed in a threadbare plaid shirt and a pair of leggings that were more holes than fabric. He had worn some of his old fishnet stockings underneath them, the cheap fabric chafing his skin.
As he pressed the icepack against his cheekbones, Taehyung let himself cry. The first few years on the street, Taehyung had thought that if he didn’t cry he could get tougher.
Now he realized crying was like a valve to release some of the pressure that kept building up behind his skull. It was an outlet. A reprieve almost. So when he felt like crying, Taehyung cried. Wherever he was. It didn’t bother him if people stared.
People always stared. Besides he always felt better afterwards, even if his circumstances never improved. Swallowing the dryness in his throat, Taehyung grabbed the crutch from against the wall, slotting it under his arm . He wasn’t completely immobile without them .
With a little effort , could certainly walk. But they helped keep the pressure off his foot. So he used them whenever he could. A social worker had got it for him after catching Taehyung curled up on a subway, unable to move because of how much his leg hurt.
The kind lady had taken him home and gotten his leg looked at and then when the doctor said that corrective surgery would cost a few million won, she had given him an apologetic smile. Taehyung hadn’t minded at all.
The lady had shown him more kindness than his own family and friends had and he was grateful . He accepted her gift of 50,000 Won and a nice hot meal, and the crutch too.
It had taken some getting used to but Taehyung had quickly learned that the best way to use crutches was by considering them as an extension of his own limbs. These days he was quick on his feet with them and he only left them at home when he was going to turn a trick.
It wasn’t easy, putting weight on his sore foot. But Taehyung shouldered through the nights because he had to. Hunger was more painful than any pain in his body. Hunger drove you insane. So he endured it.
He was usually in a lot of pain on those nights but by now, Taehyung had numbed himself to pain.
Taehyung began to find comfort in the aches that plagued him every night: his leg from the badly healed bone fracture, his hands from doing odd jobs for people all day just for a few measly bucks, his insides from letting some bastard fuck him raw in the back of his truck.
He told himself that the pain was a reminder that he was alive. They had tossed him out of the pack, thrown him out of his home, separated him from everything he knew and loved in the hope that it would kill him, but it hadn’t. They had failed.
Taehyung was alive. He had survived. Taehyung’s pain was…constant. He couldn’t escape it. It was better to embrace it. Like an old friend he could trust to always be there. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The apartment he rented with Jimin was on the first floor of a relatively nice building. They moved here after Jimin found out he was pregnant. The omega wolf had been stunned, had no idea who the father was. But they had come up with a plan pretty quick.
After two days of mourning what could have been but never would be, they had put up an ad in the papers for adoption. Pups born of pure omegas were rare and there were a lot of rich couples without kids, looking to pay good money for the chance to be a parent.
They would have to give the baby up but Jimin had told Tae that he didn’t feel nearly as guilt as he should. He would feel worse trying to raise the pup here as the child of a whore. It wasn’t an insult to either of them.
People tried to use it as such but Tae and Jimin knew it didn’t define them. They did it to survive. That’s all. It was like any other job, really. At least that’s what they’d told themselves, in the ten years they’d been together as brothers.
So it was for the best that they give the baby up and Jimin had agreed to the adoption all though his wolf ached at the thought of it. Besides, he was going to get paid for it and perhaps, with the money , Tae and him could finally move out of Seoul and go somewhere else.
Jimin spoke of a village in Busan, not far from where he was born. He said that everything cost less there and the people were kind. And Taehyung and Jimin could buy a little hut or cottage and live out the rest of their lives in peace.
Taehyung could stay at home and cook because of his leg and Jimin would work in the fields and bring home money.
It was a fanciful dream, perhaps a bit too much for two scrawny prostitutes who couldn’t afford more than two square meals a day. But dreams cost nothing, and were the only luxury and Tae and Jimin could afford to indulge in.
Dragging himself up the stairs with the crutch by his side, Taehyung was panting by the time he reached the door. He used his key to let himself in, calling out a cheeky, “ Honey, I’m home.”
As he entered. Jimin sat on the couch, a half opened pack of crisps on his lap, staring at the old laptop on the table. Taehyung had stolen it from a client.
Well, the client had left it at his place and Taehyung had acted like he’d never seen it when the man had come looking for it again. He lost the customer of course but the laptop was a huge help. Taehyung could look for jobs faster, because everything was online these days.
But he had no education so he didn’t really get any of those jobs. But still, no harm in trying right? Taehyung was sure that someday, some diner or café would hire him , even if it was to wash dishes and clean the floors and stuff. It would be an improvement.
A steady pay check. Jimin couldn’t work anymore, his scent cloyingly obvious in pregnancy and Taehyung didn’t want him to anyway, lest the baby get hurt. Taehyung felt very protective over the little one, although he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep the baby once it arrived.
But as long as the pup was with them, he would take good care of it. “I puked twice.” Jimin pouted. “ I should have just not eaten. You skipped breakfast and let me have the sandwich and I couldn’t even keep it down.” The mention of food made Taehyung’s stomach growl.
He hadn’t eaten since last night and it was now four in the evening. But he waved off Jimin’s concern. “Did you eat your prenatals?” He asked, squinting a bit to take in the sigh of his best friend on the couch.
The vision in his right eye was getting worse he thought with a grimace. Jimin nodded and held out the packet of crisps . Taehyung took it but didn’t eat any, instead rolling the bag up and using a rubber band to keep the air out.
Jimin had a lot of cravings and salted chips were one of them. He would wake up in the night wanting more. He moved to place the bag in the dented tin box with the rest of their snacks. It was woefully empty and Taehyung wanted to cry again.
The 15000 won in his wallet wasn’t going to be of much use to them for too long. “Tae..” Jimin said softly and he quickly smiled, turning to his friend.
“Yeah, Chim?” He moved to lower himself to the floor next to the boy and Jimin ran soft fingers through his hair, the touch gentle and soothing against Taehyung’s throbbing skull.
Jimin’s touch was the only gentle thing he had known these ten years and Taehyung let himself enjoy it, leaning into the older boy’s thigh, letting his eyes flutter shut. “Someone answered the ad.” Jimin whispered. Taehyung went still, heart leaping in his chest.
“What?” He gasped, staring at the boy in shock. Jimin nodded. “They’re from the Jeon pack, in Busan.” Just as quick as it had risen, Taehyung’s hopes crashed and burned, icy cold shooting up his veins as he fought to keep his composure.
The name alone was enough to send him into a panic attack, and he dug his fingers nails into the flesh of his thigh, the physical hurt distracting him from the mental anguish that filled his heart. “ The.. Jeon pack?” He whispered, the name bitter on his tongue.
Fate was a cruel , cruel mistress, he thought angry tears welling inside him. What had he ever done to deserve this. But he stayed quiet. He hadn’t told Jimin about his old pack, merely claiming to be a runaway. And he couldn’t say anything now. Not when Jimin looked so hopeful.
“Yeah. They called a few hours ago.” Jimin smiled. “ Tae do you think this is it?” Taehyung stared at him, willing himself not to start sobbing . He wanted to cry and beg Jimin to say no. He wasn’t ready. He wouldn’t ever be ready to face anyone from that place.
They wouldn’t even remember him probably. They wouldn’t even know. And that would just make it all so much more unbearable for him. To them he was nothing. He had no value . And thought he wanted to prove them wrong, he knew deep down he couldn’t .
There was nothing in him of value. And that was the truth. Trying to stave off the nausea in his chest, he exhaled shakily. “I think we need to know more , Jimin.” He said carefully, voice only shaking a little bit. Jimin nodded, humming.
“I know. But the guy sounded really nice. He had a really deep voice too and I told him the truth you know. About what I did and not knowing about the pups parentage . He said it was okay. Their pack has a shaman apparently and he can tell if the baby has any health issues.
And even if it did , they would be able to heal it in the womb itself.” Jimin sounded awed. Taehyung on the other hand could only stare. He knew all about the shaman in the Jeon pack. A liar. He had looked Jungkook in the eyes and lied to him about Taehyung.
Had called Taehyung a whore and a thief in front of the whole pack and Taehyung would never forget the look on his mate’s face when the man had said it. Jungkook had stared at him like he was worthless. And over the years many people have made him feel that way.
Many people have called him that. But the only time Taehyung had believed it so completely was when his own mate had looked at him that way. He snuggled closer to Jimin, licking his lips. There was no point, he thought tiredly, thinking of the past.
Everytime he thought of it, he relived it. And time didn’t heal wounds. Memories reopened them. It had been ten years. Jungkook had married a week after Taehyung had left the pack. Kicked out of the pack to be more precise but, well, semantics.
He had found his way to Seoul and Taehyung had sat , alone and cold and wet under the awning of some store, watching the ceremony play out on national television.
Drenched to the core and starving, he had stared at the handsome man next to his mate and all he could think was that It was supposed to be him, there on the alpha’s side. He was his true mate.
And yet Taehyung had spent that night and every night after for the last ten years, alone and cold and hungry. Punished for something he never did. Jungkook had taken a minute , one small minute to judge him unworthy and Taehyung had spent the rest of his life paying for it.
Taehyung pulled himself to the present , mulling over Jimin’s words again. “What does he want to do , next?” Taehyung asked carefully. Jimin leaned in closer. “He wants to meet us. With his pack alpha.” Of course. The pack alpha would be involved in bringing in any new member.
It was to be expected. But it still hurt him. Deeply. It was a painful ache, one mixed with a lot of longing. Taehyung had once worked in a recycling factory that recycled old books. He’s taken a lot of romance novels from there because Jimin loved reading them.
The omega despite their circumstances was a romantic. Jimin’s mate had been killed when he was just eleven. And he had run away from an abusive father. And the omega loved reading about true mates and happily ever afters.
Taehyung had read one , out of curiosity. It had left a sore taste in his mouth. All the books had the heroes groveling in apology, realizing the error of their ways and begging for a chance.
And Taehyung had fooled himself for a long time those first few years, that Jungkook would come looking for him. That he would realize his mistakes and come to set things right. And Taehyung had even imagined yelling and cursing the alpha out, but ultimately forgiving him.
Because he was his mate . the moon goddess had picked him out for him. They were meant to be together right? But the days turned to weeks. The weeks to months and the months to years. Taehyung waited and waited and waited. But Jungkook never came.
And Taehyung’s heart , that had once held the alpha in it, got whittled away into nothing but dust.
So now he would have to rely on his mind. And his mind told him that if this man belonged to the Jeon pack, he was probably wealthy and stable. The Jeon Pack was one of the most prosperous packs in the country after all. The baby would have a good life. It wasn’t about him.
It was never about him. Taehyung was nothing more than background noise in the life of people who actually mattered. Like the baby. The baby mattered . A lot.
And if giving the baby the life it deserved meant setting aside his own pain and swallowing whatever little bits of pride he had left, then Taehyung would do it. He would do it a hundred times over.
“So let’s meet him.” He said softly and Jimin’s fingers stopped.
“Really?” Jimin asked eagerly and Taehyung smiled. “Yeah, let’s go meet the head alpha of the Jeon pack. “ His voice was hollow .
“Do you know who he is?” Jimin asked curiously. Taehyung swallowed. “ His name is Jeon Jungkook.”
And he’s the worst thing to ever happen to me.