Work Text:
It became clear that they were from different worlds the second Darcy just started to… talk. First it was rambling and she either didn’t notice or was frantic enough to cover with more rambling, but Jake didn’t care. He just loved to listen to her, to some equations of her work that Jake could never hope to start to understand. But she had a similar enthusiasm for her work like Steven had and it was just nice to listen.
He learned that Darcy grew up more on the move than anything, her father being a teacher, teaching in several cities across the northern states, always chasing the best offer a school could give him. He learned that Darcy had met her mother just a couple of times, neither really knowing what to do with each other. Had learned that when it became clear that Darcy wanted to become a scientist, that her father would try everything to support his daughter, even though he was still completely helpless about what to even do, never prepared to raise a child but always determined to do so. Jake learned that her father was still teaching in the south.
He didn’t share much from his own past. Jake told her about his brothers, Steven and Marc. Told her that Marc was married but left out that Steven was somehow also involved with Marc’s wife. Jake mentioned that his mother died and that his relationship hadn’t been good with her. He mentioned that he didn’t have any contact with his father anymore. And while Jake didn’t mention the abuse, he was almost sure he could hear her putting everything together. Jake told her about joining the military with Marc and he told her about Steven starting to work in several museums, working himself up to be a museum curator.
She agreed to meet him again. She agreed when he asked her out to dinner. And while he had no idea where the evening would have led them, he hadn’t assumed that they ended up in the park, just watching stars while she talked about some signals they caught that could be everything and nothing.
She never really seemed to care that he called her Ma’am and he never dared to ask for permission to continue, unsure why he was afraid she would say no.
Neither seemed she to care that touching often became too much too quickly, even if she was a tactile person.
It wasn’t like they were people that would fit together. Two completely different people, never meant to really meet.
But when she kissed him for the first time, it felt like everything fell together, two pieces from a puzzle meant to fit.
And he prayed that, whatever would happen, that she would always laugh at him and roll her eyes when he asked her if she was really sure she wanted to be with a guy that barely got his high school diploma.
~*~*~
Jane did not look impressed.
Not in the slightest. Not that Darcy had expected her to look impressed, but it would have been nice if she wouldn’t have been met with a doubtful look when she told her friend that she started to fall for Jake.
„You’re sure of that?“
„What?“
Jane raised her hands, moving her head slightly.
„I am just asking. You’re often quick to fall and then… the guy wasn’t that special.“
Darcy opened her mouth to defend herself and then decided to rather stuff a cookie in it. Jane was right and they both knew it. Jane sighed when she saw Darcy’s face and put her pen down.
„What makes you think it’s different? Because that would be great, don’t get me wrong. But while I love eating ice cream with you, I would love it to not have you crying again.“
„… fair“ Darcy grumbled and then shrugged.
„It just… feels different? He’s nice. He’s asking questions. He’s not pretending to understand what I’m doing but he asks if it’s something that… I don’t know, interests him? I kissed him and he didn’t ask for anything more? I don’t know, Jane. It just feels different.“
„Okay. That’s good. And if not, there’s enough ice cream to solve that.“
And that was it. Darcy… didn’t know what she had expected. Maybe a more stern talking. She has no idea. But in the end, it would be Jane who would sit with her on the couch, watch stupid trash movies and eat more ice cream than either of them could stomach.
But Jake stayed respectful, not straying from his Ma’am and being more chivalrous than Darcy knew she could manage in the long run. And when it was their next uncounted date, and he still pulled back even when she had started to let her hand slide more under his shirt, she couldn’t help to pull a face.
„Anything in particular that makes you not want to go further?“
Because he could wait for marriage. Who knows. She chooses to ignore the voice in her head that pointed out all her flaws.
He opened his mouth and closed it again. Looking away like he sometimes did, blushing like there was anything he needed to be embarrassed of.
That absolutely did wonders for the voice in her head, but she told it to fuck off.
She lets him think. If there’s one thing she had learned then it was that he sometimes just needed to think his words through. Jake pretended it was because he didn't want to be brash. Darcy knew it was because talking was never a thing for him. Didn’t help her anxiety, sure, but that was her problem, not his.
It took another way too long two minutes until he came apparently to a decision that made him look a mix between defeated and stubborn.
„I would love to, Ma’am but… I don’t know what you expect of me.“
„Well, not pulling back as soon as it leads to maybe being naked. Don’t get me wrong, pull back all you like when it’s too much, but I’d like to know why you pull away because right now it feels like shit and makes me doubt everything that…“
„I’m not one to make decisions, Ma’am.“
She groaned quietly.
Realizing it was the first time he had ever interrupted her.
„I know. You said you have problems with that.“
She hadn’t asked why. Hadn’t asked why it had been different when Jake had been a kid apparently and why it only applied when it came to his brothers.
Jake started to look downright desperately at her.
„Yes. But… neither in bed. I don’t want to. And I know what people expect from me.“
It took her longer than she wanted to admit to realize what he was saying while watching him withdraw into himself more and more.
„We need to talk.“
Darcy didn’t need to see the crestfallen look on his face to know that had been a shitty way to frame it.
„Nono, I mean… okay, no I meant it, we need to talk, but not that kind of talk, more… the other talk? You know, where we talk about what we might like or not like?“
Jake looks hesitantly at her and then nods.
Baby-steps, she reminded herself. He hadn’t run away yet and neither had she scared him off. He had even told her what he wanted… somehow. She just needed to remember that he wasn’t used to talking and that he hadn’t grown up with her Dad, who might have been uncomfortable during it, but had always supported Darcy to share her thoughts. She needed to remember that Jake was more or less from a different world and that now, her own world collided with his.
She could do that with Jake now, talking. Being supportive. She wanted to be.
And it wasn’t like she didn’t like the Ma’am...