Chapter Text
Bulma didn't know what to do. For years she had studied her husband's health, and combed through the data on the pods they’d salvaged and the information gathered from other sources. And now it had drawn her to one conclusion.
Her husband needed his tail.
So did her son. And her daughter. And her oldest friend. And his kids. And his grandkid.
God it freaked her out that Goku was a grandpa.
But that wasn't the problem. The problem was tails.
Sayians had hormones that humans just didn’t. And those hormones, like human hormones, regulated many things. Moods, fertility, electrolyte balances and many other important things in the body. An overproduction or lack of certain hormones could be dangerous.
In this case it was under production. She managed to create a synthetic version, but it wasn’t going to work forever. The safest and most long term plan was to get their tails back. Which wasn’t a problem, considering that a wish could get it done. The problem was convincing people that it was a good idea.
There was the great ape to deal with. Vegeta had control of it, but that was a genetic quirk they couldn’t guarantee Trunks and Bulla had inherited. The theory that the human DNA in them would allow for some kind of basic reasoning couldn’t be understood until they actually transformed. The whole idea was based on the fact that Gohan, in his Ape form, had been directable. But that could have been a fluke.
Then there was the weakness it gave them. Vegeta had said that Tail training was possible, but it was a painful process. Not to mention the training technique was unknown to him, because Freeza had forbidden any but the very elite from doing it. It was why Raditz, despite being an adult, still had the weakness. Though incredibly strong for a third class, he hadn’t been given an exemption. And getting that information out of Vegeta had been like pulling nails. The man just didn’t like talking about Nappa or Raditz.
The final problem was mentality. Goku still felt a lot of guilt over his grandfather. Gohan was terrified of anything to do with losing control. Trunks had been interested, but worried how they would explain their new appendages. Bulla didn’t appear to have an opinion..
But Bulma would not be deterred. Which was why she had invited the saiyan blooded she knew to her lab to talk about this.
Goku popped into existence in her lab with both his sons, so all she had to do was call in Vegeta and Trunks. Once assembled she didn’t bother with niceties.
“We need to wish your tails back before you guys get sick.”
She was greeted by silence. She used this as an excuse to forge forward. "Look, I told you guy about the vitamins I was giving you? They were hormone replacements. I had hoped that it was something I could fix myself, but it looks like I can't. I think that given enough time I might be able to come up with a way to fix this, but not before you guys start suffering. So I figured we would wish back your tails and I can keep working on something until-"
"I'm sorry, those vitamins were HORMONES!" Gohan snapped, not at all happy he'd been lied to about something so important. "Why didn't you tell us that to start with?"
"Because I didn't want you making any rash decisions. Vegeta said that if you wished the problem away, you might cause problems with your power regulation, and considering what we've learnt about Saiyans and hybrids over the years I Didn't want anyone winding up dead for stupid rushed reasons.”
"When you started asking questions about tails, I thought it was some scientific curiosity." Vegeta said.
"So what exactly will happen if we don't get them back?"
"Ki regulation problems. Fertility and health problems. Mental health issues. There's a whole list of things that could go wrong, but we won't know until you actually start showing symptoms of it." Bulma went to the computer, "I've been giving you a specially designed synthetic hormone design to fill the metabolic gap, but there's only so long it will help." she pulled up the Data, "Gohan, I didn't do this just out of scientific curiosity. I did this because I want you guys safe. And the fact is we don't know all that much about your bodies. Vegeta was raised to fight and conquer, and what little he does know is all to do with battlefield injuries."
Vegeta nodded, "The truth is we are in the dark. What little medical information there is on our species is locked up in Freiza's old data banks, and I highly doubt he or his leftover followers would ever want to give us the information."
Gohan looked at the Data. He didn't have a great grasp on humanoid biology, but he knew enough to know that what Bulma was saying, and the data backing her up, was real.
"This isn't good. This looks like we could end up with massive problems."
Goku felt his gut turn to ice. "Isn't there any other way? Our tails, there is a risk. The full moon-"
"Is avoidable. Our species didn't destroy our planet every time there was a full moon. We stayed indoors or in underground places. Honestly it wouldn't be that difficult to just hold up in an underground cave out in the wastelands once a month. And if something does go wrong, I have control over my Form. A trained elite against a bunch of untrained beasts would be no issue." Vegeta explained. "Worst comes to worst, we could just sedate you when the full moon comes."
"That could actually work. We'd need fail safes in place to ensure that the doors couldn't open unless the sun had risen or there was an emergency." Bulma said.
Gohan shook his head. "I really don't know about this. Vegeta may have his control, but I'm still reluctant."
"I'm not sure either. A lot could go wrong."
Bulma gave Goku a soft smile. "Goku,I know why you're so hesitant, but this is a serious health problem. You had your tail before and after you fought the 5th man, you know that you've come far enough to be smart about this."
"Smart isn't my strong point Bulma." Goku said.
"That's for damn sure." Vegeta mumbled, and was promptly ignored.
"Well you've got my smarts to help you."
"There's some finer points we'll have to talk about before we do this, and obviously we'll have to talk ChiChi around."
There was an awkward silence then.
"Oh, We're definitely going to need you to bring that data with you. Mom probably doesn't want Goten to have his tail back."
"She probably won't like Goku getting his back either." Bulma said. "God knows it's gonna take me a while to get used to Vegeta having his back."
"ChiChi won't really care about mine." Goku realized what he said a second too late.
"Why not. I think her husband regrowing a limb is going to be something she's not happy with."
Goku made eye contact with Gohan and then took a deep breath. "It's not up to ChiChi what I do with my body."
Vegeta barked a laugh in shock, "Growing a backbone all of a sudden?"
Bulma just stared at him, eyes wide. "Well if you're sure, we can start gathering the balls today."
DZ DZ DZ DZ DZ
Gohan took the spare Dragon radar to help find them, taking Goten and Trunks with him.
Goku went with Bulma and Vegeta, and the first hour of the journey was suspiciously quiet. Eventually Bulma coughed, before she asked the question Goku had been dreading since they boarded.
"So, is everything okay at home?"
Goku stared out the window, tense.
"Just answer her Kakarot. She won't stop till she knows." Vegeta snapped, not happy his wife was bringing this up. Granted he was curious about Goku's statement earlier, but not enough to get all emotional about it.
"Everything is fine."
"If it was fine, you wouldn't be so worked up. Has something happened? Did you piss off the wife again?" Bulma meant it as a joke, instantly wondered if it was the right thing to say.
He laughed, and it was a nervous sound. "Well,that's just it. ChiChi kind of isn't my wife anymore."
"WHAT!?!?!?!?" Bulma screeched and the aircar jolted, listing dangerously to the side and making Vegeta complain as he was tipped out of his seat. "Not your Wife! What happened? WHEN!?WHY?!"
"Women, watch how you're flying!"
She calmed herself and steadied her flight path. "Okay. I'm calm. I'm Calm. Now Goku, can you kindly explain to me what you mean by ChiChi not being your wife?"
Goku scratched the back of his head and spent a moment thinking of the best way to tell them. "Well, she isn't. Me and ChiChi aren't together anymore. We signed the paperwork about a month back."
"Honey, sweety, please tell me you know what a divorce-"
"I know what a divorce is, Bulma. I have actually learned since then."
"Sorry, Sorry. Oh God I am sorry. How did she break it to you?"
"She didn't break anything. I decided to clear some of the woodland and build another house there."
"So you're still on Mount Paozu?"
"Well yeah. I know that's not normal for most people but we're doing well." he shrugged, “We just wanted to keep it to ourselves until we were certain of everything. And we are.”
“Oh, oh wow. That’s insane. I never thought this would happen.”
“Don’t lie Bulma, We both know that this isn’t that much of a surprise. “
“I’ll say.” Vegeta said from behind them. “The two of you made good parents ,but I’ve no idea how you hadn’t murder each other yet.”
Bulma was about to yell, but Goku Laughed, “I know right?”
Bulma rolled her eyes. “I’m still mad. I could have been helpful. I could have gotten you a lawyer so good you would have gotten everything you wanted.”
“But I do have everything I want. I’ve got a good home. I can make more of my own choice without it being an argument. I see Goten just as much as I did before and I don’t get yelled at for leaving my shoes in the mudroom instead of the shoe rack.” he grinned, “I just put a shoe rack in the mudroom. Solved that dumb problem all alone. Though ChiChi looks at it like it’s a personal insult every time she sees it.”
Vegeta stared at the man and tilted his head in thought. He didn’t know how marriage worked for the third classes, and that annoyed him a little. Kakarot was so human, but sometimes he could see the Saiyan he was supposed to be beneath the surface. The loss of culture and history played on Vegeta's mind a lot, and it was moments like this where he wished he knew more. Was it normal for their people to divorce? Or was it something where once the bond was made you couldn't leave it. Did those kinds of bonds even mean anything?
Nappa would sometimes talk about life before Freiza, but only when he was drunk and mopey. He remembered carefully drawing information from his half asleep mind, hanging on every word. He wondered how much was true and how much was wrongly remembered. Raditz had sometimes talked of his Father, but never his mother. All Vegeta knew of her was she had a civilian job, and he said no more.
He pushed that to the back of his head and instead focused on the situation at hand.
His tail.
He'd wanted to get it back for a long time, but he could never come up with a good enough reason for it. Simply stating he missed it wasn't a good enough reason to bring back a limb that could turn him into a massive monster when the moon was full. But this? This was a good excuse.
A moment of inspiration hit him then.
"I have a wish." he said, and Goku turned to him. BUlma didn't, but met his gaze in the rear view mirror.
"Hu? What?"
"I have an idea. It could be useful. Why not wish for the knowledge we need. Medical and historical. It could be good for both our health and our training. We knew of the Super Saiyan through legend and myths, maybe we can find something else there."
He waited, and Bulma gave him an unreadable look.
"That's actually really smart. Do you think it’ll work?”
Bulma pondered this for a moment. “It should be doable. I mean, he’ll likely send us to a library or a database or something.”
Excitement bubbled in Vegeta’s stomach as they began to descend onto the island the Dragon ball was on.
A half hour Later Bulma was laughing her ass off at the Fact that Goku was soaking and he was missing his shoes.
DZ DZ DZ DZ DZ
They had three of the balls and night was drawing in, so Gohan decided it was time to head home. He handed the balls over to Trunks, and said He’d try and join them the next day, but it was likely that their Parents would have to go it alone for a while.
At home he found Videl going over paperwork and looking frustrated.
“Hey Videl. Is something wrong?”
“Hm, oh it’s nothing. Dad’s got some touring plans he wanted me to check over.”
Gohan could feel the anger under the words, and shook his head, “Tell me Videl.”
She sighed heavily and lifted her head. “The more he pushes into the limelight the more people try to push him out. Being ‘savior’ worked ten years ago, but people forget. They get bored and in order to keep relevant Dad is doing a lot of promotion. And the more he does the paparazzi and clout chasers follow. I get that he likes this life, but if he’s not careful, someones gonna find something we can’t cover up.”
Gohan sat next to her and wrapped an arm around her. “We’ll have him over and talk to him. Maybe convincing him to retire is a good idea.”
She snorted at him. “That’s not happening.”
He leaned back on the couch and pulled her with him, cuddling up. “We may have another thing to cover up.” He said.
“What? What happened?”
“Nothing world destroying. But it looks like I’m getting my tail back.”
Erm, what?”
“You remember how I said I was born with a tail? Well turns out not having it has health side effects. So we are going to have to wish them back until Bulma can come up with another way of dealing with it.”
"Everyone knows you are related to the Ox King. We can just say it's something that is normal for you guys. We hid it for a while but decided not to know about Pan. Spin it right and no one will question it. "
"My Dad has a tail. It wouldn't work."
"Then we'll say you have a hybrid in your family history. Maybe a great grandparent on your Dad's side. He's a foundling, so it would work."
Gohan thought about it for a while. "Yeah, I suppose" He then smiled, "Pan will look so stinking cute with her tail."
Videl shook her head. “I'm still so mad we didn't get a chance to see her with it, but your Mom was right, we would have ended up feeling so bad about removing it. I still feel bad about it."
"I hope she will adjust easily to it."
"She will. But how are you feeling about this?"
"Honestly? I don't know. I guess my memories of my tail aren't bad." He suddenly groaned, "I'm gonna have to alter all my clothes."
Videl giggled and sat up, "Okay, let's get Dinner done and we'll talk more."
"Yeah. Hey, maybe we can convince your Dad to start some kind of training retreat. He could get away from the press, but still have people come to him for training. Everyone wins."
They left the living, not knowing that someone in a very tall tree with a very good camera and listening device had been privy to the conversation.