Archive of Our Own ^beta

Dear Axel,

Do you still want me to call you that? I just figured since you told me last time… Ah, anyway~! The last letter I wrote was to Sora, and that was foreverrrr ago, so I’m a bit rusty. Bear with me while I work out like, everything.

And before you say anything, yes, I know we have Gummi phones, but… I dunno. This just seems a bit more…personal? Like it’s just you and me. And also I don’t have your number.

(I’m kidding. Please don’t pout.)

Anyway, I’m leaving for Master Yen Sid’s tower soon. I need to get back into it, and the boys can’t always have all the fun, y’know? Besides that, I’m a bit rusty with my keyblade so…

Let me know if you’re gonna go too, and we can go together!

See you soon,

Kairi

♡

Dear Axel,

I’m here!!! The trip over wasn’t too bad, actually, which was nice. A bit bumpy, but not the worst it could’ve been. It feels weird to be back here, after… Ah, anyway, I’ve settled in, and my training’s gonna start tomorrow. Did you know you can get jet lag from being on a gummi ship? I didn’t, until now.

Anyway, Master Yen Sid told me to rest up for tomorrow, and then I can jump into training tomorrow, once I don’t feel like I’m gonna fall asleep on my feet. I asked him who would be training me, and he just smiled and said “you’ll see.” Don’t tell me it’s you. And if it is, get ready to get your ass kicked!

Oh, shoot, I gotta go! Dinner’s ready, but I’ll talk to you tomorrow, alright?

Kairi

♡

Hey Axel,

I’m so sorry!!! I know it’s been…a few days, ahaha, but uh… I have a good excuse this time, I promise. Okay, okay. Deep breath…

Alright, so! Remember how I said Yen Sid wouldn’t tell me who my teacher was?? Well, I woke up late this morning (stop laughing!!! I know you are, you fucking asshole!) and after I got dressed and rushed downstairs, he said he “had a surprise for me.” Ominous, much? I thought he was like, fucking with me or something, but I figured, alright, let’s see what this is, and-

Master Aqua is here!!! I almost had a heart attack, but I managed to keep it cool and I hugged her, and she told me that she’s gonna oversee my training!!! How cool is that???

We did a few warm-up exercises, and stuff, just to get me used to my keyblade again, and then we did a few practice matches. I forgot how much strength it takes to swing that thing! My shoulder is gonna feel this tomorrow for sure…

We worked on some magic towards the end. Stuff like cure, thunder, and water… Water is Master Aqua’s specialty, and I’m a bit jealous to be honest. The way she does it is just…gorgeous and I know only Water.

…I’ll get there. She said my body and heart just needs to relearn everything, and I’ll get there. I just have to work on it.

(When are you gonna get here, anyway, huh?? You better show up. Remember, you promised.)

Anyway, I’ll talk to you later, okay?

Kairi

♡

Dear Axel,

Hey. I know it’s..really, really later, wherever you are, and I’m really sorry for bother you (I’m usually not, but for this, I really, REALLY am) but-

I had a nightmare.

….Ah, this is so stupid. What am I, a little kid? I- look, you can just…

If you were here, you’d probably tell me to talk about it, right? And say something like, “you’ll feel better once it’s off your chest” or whatever, yeah?

…Okay. I’ll- I’ll try.

It’s just… Mm. I was in… I don’t even know where. I think I was in the Dark Meridian at first, ‘cause I could hear the ocean and there was sand underneath my feet, but when I looked up, the sun was setting. I was back on Destiny Islands. ….

…

Sora was there. And Riku, too. And we were all just…sitting there, on the tree, like we used to. And we were talking about the raft and going to see other worlds. And.. I dunno, I just- I felt really cold, the hair on the back of my neck stood up, and when I went to look at them…

They were gone. Both of them.

And I tried to- God, this is so dumb, but I tried to… I tried to follow them, but- there were hands all over me, suddenly, and I couldn’t get away, and- and then I tried to scream, but the darkness went down my throat and-

…Sorry, I- I don’t wanna scare you, or anything, but…

I woke up after that. Thankfully. Couldn’t go back to sleep, so here I am now, out in the courtyard, writing this to you. …My head hurts.

I miss them. And- I dunno, I think that was my mind just…fucking with me. Or at least I’m worried about something. ….Sora’s gone, and so is Riku ‘cause he went off to look for him AGAIN and I’m HERE, I KNOW that, so I dunno why-

….I guess I- I just don’t wanna be left behind again. So that’s why I’m here, training, to make sure that doesn’t happen again, but-

But I’m scared. What if they don’t need me anymore?

No, I can’t think like that. I shouldn’t, right? …Then why do I feel-

Is this how you felt? When you became a Somebody again? Did everything feel overwhelming?

I don’t…Look, just…please keep this between us okay? I… I know that Riku has to go look for him, and it’s not like I DON’T want him to, I want Sora back more than anything, but… I’m worried. For him and for Riku. And- and I’m upset and frustrated, because I’m being left behind AGAIN, even though I don’t think I’d be much help, right now, but I just-

UGH!!!! This is so fucking stupid. (don’t make that face at me, by the way, you have a worse mouth than me.) I just- if they were here right now, I’d kick their asses.

They’re not here, though. It’s…just me. And you, too, I guess.

….I’m sorry to dump all this on you, by the way. Guess it’s a good thing this letter won’t be seeing the light of day, huh?

(if it DOES, you’ll be getting the like. Heavily edited version.)

…This is gonna sound selfish, but whatever. I miss you. I wish you were here.
Do you know when you’ll get here? We can spar, for real this time, and I’m gonna win. Don’t go easy on me, okay?

Thanks, Axel. I should talk to you late at night more often, heh~

…It’s late. I’ve kept you for too long. I’m gonna…head to bed, I guess, and I’ll talk to you in the morning, okay?

Goodnight (oh, and thanks.)

Kairi

♡

Dear Axel,

Aqua spilled the beans and said you’ll be arriving later today. FINALLY!!!! I’ve been going crazy here. I love her, she’s great, but like… I wanna show off what I’ve learned!! And you can be my test subject :)

I won’t spoil anything, but let’s just say I’ve been working hard and-

Well. You’ll see!

Anyway, when you get here, come and find me.

Oh, and if I win, you have to get me some sea salt ice cream. Good? Good! <3

….I’m really glad you’re coming. I’ve missed you.

Anyway, I’ll see you in a bit, alright? Don’t make me wait too long.

Kairi