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It started around the water cooler as most gossip does. Jane and Lisbon. Everyone had seen the way that they looked at each other.
“He closes cases,” was the company line but everyone wondered why Teresa Lisbon put up with Patrick Jane.
And then they all started to see it. The way she smacked him playfully, coming out of the elevator. The way he stole her sandwich and went running off just for her to go running after him. There wasn’t a law enforcement officer in the city of Sacramento who hadn’t experienced the way they looked too long at each other or stood too close together.
Thus began the CBI pool on when Jane and Lisbon would get together. It seemed a harmless, funny, prank that would properly fuel the water cooler talk.
Lisbon, of course, knew that everyone assumed that something untoward was going on between her and Jane but the truth was that she didn’t care. They were friends and if people wanted to assume, then they could make asses out of themselves. What Lisbon didn’t know was that Grace Van Pelt was the official keeper of the CBI Jisbon – she was pretty proud of herself for coming up with her own version of Brangelina – pool on when Jane and Lisbon would get together or slip up and let their relationship go public.
As the years went by, any time someone asked about Jane and Lisbon to anyone else in the CBI, if they seemed like they’d be cool, they would be given Van Pelt’s anonymous email (she wasn’t going to use her work email after all!) and they could put in their guess for the time length. The guesses ranged anywhere from one month, to twenty years, to never.
No one knew that Van Pelt ran the pool. Well, not no one. Rigsby and Cho were in on it. And she was pretty sure that Jane knew, because, well, Jane knew everything – and the email from [email protected] guessing seven years seemed a little too obvious.
That was the number one rule for the pool: NO PROFESSIONAL EMAILS. The submissions had to come from personal or burner emails or Van Pelt wouldn’t add them.
Van Pelt thought for sure she was going to get fired when LaRoche figured out what she was doing. Instead, after her interview, she received an email from [email protected] guessing four years.
Who knew? LaRoche, a romantic.
Within a year of the creation of the pool, it soon expanded to people outside of the CBI. People in the courthouse, SacPD, and other law enforcement agencies soon started taking part.Van Pelt had to hand it to Minelli; he was professional till the end but the day he quit she received an email from [email protected] guessing two years.
And he wasn’t the only boss to submit a guess throughout the years.
One submission, from who Grace could only guess was Hightower from her knowing smirk when she noticed Van Pelt checking her computer, in particular made her laugh.
[email protected] – “Four years because Patrick Jane is an idiot.”
Van Pelt enjoyed the commentary, so much that she created a website and message board where people could chat. It was actually pretty fun and mostly consisted of people telling Jane stories.
Message Board
RonaldMcDonald: I heard Jane bought Lisbon a pony for her birthday! Who does that?
SACPD1: That is not normal coworker behavior
iclosecases: You’re just upset no one’s ever bought you a pony.
…
ADA1: Heard Jane just got arrested in Judge Dredd’s court for flicking Odenthal on the nose
CBI2: Lol I’m sure Odenthal had it coming
CBI3: Why does she put up with him
retiredfisherman: He closes cases.
iclosecases: I do.
…
CBI1: “I AM NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND I AM AN OFFICER OF THE LAW” – Teresa Lisbon
retiredfisheman: so I guess we can confirm the pool is very much still on.
SACPD2: she did not say this!?
CBI1: you’re right she didn’t say it, more like shouted it in front of the office elevators so loud everyone could hear.
*151 shocked emoji impressions, 217 likes*
MOD: her Chicago came out
playboymillionare: “👀”
…
RonaldMcdonald: Just overheard Jane say he could “Marry Lisbon off in a minute”
MOD: *sighs* *facepalms*
playboymillionaire: Is he offering to marry her or officiate her wedding? Because if she’s looking to get married…
MOD: @playboymillionaire if I have to direct you to the rules of the chat one more time!
…
After Red John and the downfall of the CBI she was grateful she had made the website. She often found herself reading through all the stories of Jane’s shenanigans, reminiscing on the CBI days, hoping that he was okay and that he was happy. When Jane made a deal with the FBI and returned to the U.S, a message appeared for the first time in years on the message board.
CBI5: Hey, just heard PJ made a deal with the feds. So, this means that those of us with time still on our guesses still have a shot!
CBI4: I heard Jane got a full pardon! How the %*^# did he manage that!
Ernie (the handsome one): Jane could sell cats to mice
MOD: UPDATE! Hey everyone! The pool is still on! Remember the prize is still ultimate bragging rights and idk maybe we’ll figure out something else
ADA1: So, are Jane and Lisbon working together 👀?
Van Pelt thought, now more than ever, that they had a shot. And good for them, they deserved that more than anyone else.
Not long after, Van Pelt was shocked to find a new request to join the pool and found herself wondering who could possibly be requesting to join now that hadn’t already placed a guess. The email was [email protected] with a guess of two months.
When she ran a backtrace on the email she almost fell out of her chair to discover that it belonged to none other than Special Agent in Charge Dennis Abbott.
She could never have imagined that the man who had stormed into their offices and hunted down Jane for two years would be participating in a pool on whether Jane and Lisbon would date.Grace wondered if anyone else from the FBI would hear about the pool, and soon it seemed as though Cho and Abbott had begun to share the news because more entries flooded in.
FBI1: I just saw Lisbon kiss that guy from art crimes in the bullpen, is it serious!?
FBI2: I heard he just got a transfer to DC and there’s talks of her going.
PrettyPrincess: Jane better make his move soon.
Then, Cho called her one evening.
“Hey Cho, is everything okay?” she asked, worried that something was wrong.
“Did you know that Jane and Lisbon have feelings for each other?” Cho asked, straight to the point as always.
She smiled wide as she asked, “Why!? What happened?”
“Well...” Cho started to explain the events that had led them to the Blue Bird Hotel.
“Oh, My Goodness! And then he just left for the airport?” Van Pelt exclaimed with excitement.
“Yeah, and apparently, he snuck onto Lisbon’s plane and got arrested by the TSA because Abbott has to go bail him out.”
“Do you know what she said!?” Rigsby chimed in, not being able to hold in his own excitement.
“No, I guess we’ll see.”
“UGHHH,” Rigsby and Van Pelt exclaimed in unison.
A day later, they got a text from Cho with an update.
Lisbon canceled her transfer to DC and is taking two weeks off.
A few seconds later another text came through.
Jane is also taking two weeks off.
Grace and Wayne gave each other a knowing look, “Oh my gosh it’s finally happening!”
“Do you think we should update the pool website?” Wayne asked her a few days later.
“No, they’re clearly keeping it private from everyone but us. And we never counted in the original pool. So, no, Let’s just keep it going till they’re public.”
**A few months later**
“We’re getting married!” Patrick Jane exclaimed. It was like the ‘shot heard round the world.’
Cho immediately called the Rigsbys. “They’re getting married!” he told them, smiling ear to ear.
Grace and Wayne were so excited for their family -- because truthfully they were so much more than coworkers. They were so happy in fact that it took Grace a whole three hours to realize this meant that the pool was OVER.
“WAYNE!” Grace called.
“What?!” Rigsby came rushing in.
“The pool!” Grace said, smiling up at her husband. “It’s officially over!”
“Oh, my goodness! Who do you think won?” Rigsby said eagerly sitting next to his wife.
“I don’t know, let's check.” Grace logged into the website and when she saw who had the most accurate guess she couldn’t believe her eyes.
“What?” Rigsby asked over a bite of taco.
“You’ll never guess who won,” Van Pelt said defeatedly.
“No.” “Yes.” “NO!?”
“Yep.” Grace said, popping the p with emphasis
“HOW?!”
Grace and Wayne both looked at the undeniable winner of the pool on the computer screen: [email protected]
“I don’t care what that man says he’s psychic,” Rigsby shook his head while getting up from the couch.
Smiling Grace drafted the mass email she was about to send to over 600 former CBI and California government employees. She could only imagine what tomorrow’s water cooler gossip was going to be like but it was times like this that made her miss the CBI.
MOD: UPDATE!
Hello All,
The end of the pool has finally come! Jane and Lisbon have announced that they are getting married! Can you believe it after all these years? I’ve set up a registry for them on the website if you would like to get them a wedding gift or contribute towards the construction of their new home!
I have also made a separate message board for all of us to share our favorite JISBON/Teresa Lisbon/Patrick Jane memories from the CBI days.
Time to announce the winner!
Since all emails are anonymous you will have to reveal your identity to claim your bragging rights but I think we all have an idea. Congrats to [email protected] you are the winner!
-MOD (Grace Van Pelt😉)
Message Board
CBI6: You got to be kidding me Jane fucking guessed right!!!?
RonaldMcdonald: When did he submit that!?
PrettyPrincess: No way
Bert (the tall one): No such thing as psychics my ass
CBI7: WHAT THE HELL
retiredfisherman: Patrick fucking Jane
CBI8: he....closes...cases...
iclosecases: lol just logged in after all these years.
iclosecases: Hi! Actually this is Teresa Lisbon, Patrick Jane is @profesionalshmesional
LittledogLover: You can’t bet on yourselves that’s CHEATING
profesionalshmesional: No, it’s just playing smart
tiredmom: Yeah, that’s Patrick Jane alright.
MOD: UPDATE!
