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Chuuya didn‘t care much for his birthday. He never did. He wasn‘t even sure whether the date assigned as such was his actual birthday or if it was just a number that someone had chosen at random.
Chuuya never cared for his birthday. But he knew someone who did.
“Chuuya! Wake up!” A cheery voice pulled him back from the comfortable darkness. Chuuya groaned and buried his face further into his pillow. “Fuck off shitty Mackerel. We have a free day and I want to fucking sleep!” He complained. Obviously that wasn’t even remotely enough to deter his annoying, lovable asshole of a boyfriend from rudely interrupting his rest. Instead, said boyfriend jumped on top of him, squishing him with his (still not healthy, Chuuya was still working on fixing the 15 years of malnourishment that played out prior to meeting and declaring himself as the person who took care of him) entire body weight
“But it’s a special day today Chuuya! It’s not only your 18th birthday. You’ll also get your soulmark today!” Right. That was another thing he almost forgot about. In their world, every person would receive a soulmark the night after the older half of the soulbond’s 18th birthday. Something that would indicate who you were meant to spend your life with. And whenever your soulmate touched your soulmark, it would glow softly and make both sides of the connection feel warm.
Chuuya found the system a little stupid. After all, who was fate to decide who his life partner was supposed to be?! He only had one partner damnit! And that partner was the fish who’d been actively annoying him since the moment they met.
Dazai huffed in annoyance. “Come on Chibi! Let’s at least enjoy the last day we have together before you inevitably go off to find your true partner!” Now that immediately woke Chuuya up as he swiftly turned around to glare at his pet Mackerel. They’ve had this conversation countless times yet somehow, Dazai still didn’t believe Chuuya would stay with him even after getting his soulmark. Chuuya himself was quite certain his soulmate, if he even had one, would most definitely be Dazai. But Dazai, ever so convinced he didn’t deserve a soulmate, still thought Chuuya would leave him.
Now, it wasn’t exactly uncommon for someone to date one or even multiple people before finding their soulmate. Chuuya himself had only ever dated one person. Said person being: His dear partner in crime, the most annoying human being to exist. And while he’d most definitely deny it to anyone asking directly, he did love the shitty beanpole. Genuinely so. And he wouldn’t let fate decide his feelings for him.
“Shitty Dazai. You’ve been talked to about this! I won’t just leave you. Even if you’re not my soulmate. Why would I date you in the first place if I didn’t intend on staying with you?” Next to him, Dazai shrugged and looked down. “As a convenience? Or to practice how dating is supposed to work? I dunno-” Chuuya sighed and pulled his boyfriend down into bed with him. “You’re hopeless sometimes. I promise, Mackerel. I promise that I won’t break up with you for my soulmate.” He stated with all the confidence of someone who knew they had already found their partner for life.
Dazai sighed and relaxed, cuddling up to Chuuya and sneaking his arms around his waist. Chuuya gently started running his fingers through his partner's hair and closed his eyes. “Let me sleep for once damnit! We don't get free days like this often!” He could feel Dazai pout against his side and decided the best course of action here would be to squish his boyfriend in a tight hug and tie him down to the bed for a few more hours, preferably. Dazai grumbled something intelligible under his breath and buried his face in Chuuya's chest. “What was that?” The latter asked. “I said: Happy Birthday Chibi.” The former responded. Chuuya smiled and pressed a kiss to soft brown hair. “Thanks, you utter menace.”
—
They did spend about two more hours in bed before both of them were ready to get up and drag themselves over to the kitchen. After all, they had plans for the day. Dazai had insisted on baking Chocolate Chip Muffins. A horrible idea, Chuuya thought. Dazai plus kitchen had never been an equation that worked out well. Ever. And while Chuuya might be a good cook, being the one in their relationship who's responsible for letting neither of them starve, baking was a whole different ordeal. But Dazai had looked far too cute when he asked Chuuya if they could do it regardless. Curse the fish and his ability to get Chuuya to do whatever it took for him to be happy. Sometimes Chuuya really questioned how this was somehow his taste in men. But his Mackerel was happy. And that was already worth it.
A cup was pressed into his hands by said Mackerel. His morning dose of caffeine. Chuuya looked down at the drink and found that Dazai had somehow drawn a slightly wonky heart into the coffee foam. Chuuya looked up and was immediately blinded by one of Dazai's bright smiles which made him simultaneously blush and roll his eyes. Even though they've been dating since they were 15, this specific smile still always caught him off-guard. Dazai didn't have an easy life. With so many problems and depression as severe as his, moments of such genuine joy were even more precious. So of course, because of that, Chuuya obviously had to react by placing the softest of kisses on his boyfriend's lips. “Thanks, love.” He spoke quietly. Dazai almost fainted at the pet name.
Chuuya sat on the kitchen counter. Dazai stood next to him. Shoulder to shoulder, sharing a quiet start into the day with coffee and kisses, watching the sun rise further into the sky through the floor-to-ceiling windows of their apartment. “Even the sun came out to wish you a happy birthday, Chibikko! You’re really that popular aren’t ya?” Dazai asked. A compliment if it were anyone else saying it, a moment of mild insecurity since it was Dazai saying it.
Chuuya sighed and smacked the back of his partner’s head. “Are you really gonna be like this now? I swear if you go and accuse even the sun of being my soulmate then I will throw you out of the window.” Dazai’s eyes sparkled. “You promise?” Chuuya glared at him. “Heck no! I’m not letting you die!” Dazai pouted. But ultimately, he didn’t say more, simply leaning his head on Chuuya’s shoulder. Chuuya brought up a hand to card through soft, brown hair.
“You know that I won’t accept anyone who isn’t you as my soulmate, right? You’ve got nothing to worry about. And don’t even start on how fate surely assigned me someone better than you. I think we should just enjoy the day and worry about everything else later, got it, shitty Dazai?” Dazai looked up at him for a few moments, then sighed and nodded. “Yea, yea, alright. Just- Sorry.”
Chuuya threw an arm around his partner in a side hug and squeezed. Dazai choked on his own oxygen intake, but that was alright. He’d be fine. And Chuuya made very sure all his love for the idiot next to him was delivered with the hug. It seemed to calm Dazai down, so he’d be alright. “Now let’s bake these muffins before we run out of time. We’ve got a dinner reservation at 8 PM point-blank!” Dazai chuckled. “We’re not gonna take eight hours to bake! Unless your birthday really did turn you into a slow, slimy, little slug. Then we may have to reconsider.” And of course Chuuya punched him for that remark. Really, the Mackerel wasn’t even giving him a break on his birthday.
…He wouldn’t have it any other way.
—
The baking turned out just about as chaotic as you’d expect from the Double Black household. Surprisingly, Dazai was absolutely hyped to help out for once and actually put in some effort. But of course, because this was Dazai, even that didn’t stop him from messing around.
“Dazai if you even dare to think about dumping that flour on my head I will actually murder you.” Chuuya warned, making Dazai pout who looked like he’d been thinking about just that. “But Chuuya looks good with white covering his face!” He complained. Chuuya found his cheeks heating up immensely. “Oh fuck off you ass! This is flour! Give it back already, we need that!”
Begrudgingly, Dazai returned to the mixing process, putting the flour in a bowl. Chuuya rolled his eyes fondly as he crossed his arms, watching his boyfriend pay extra attention to getting the amount just right. “There we go. It’s not that difficult now, is it?” He asked. Dazai sent him a glare. “I think we should try whether your ability works on sugar. We know how it works with flour, but we haven’t tried sugar yet!” Chuuya raised a challenging eyebrow. Yes, he did love this shitty bastard. And a lot at that. But he was in no way above actually teaching him how to fly out the window. …And make sure to catch him before anything bad happens.
Dazai understood him with no words being spoken and pouted some more before adding the sugar as well. Somehow, he was quite intent on doing this himself. Well, not like Chuuya was one to complain. At least not doing anything meant that he was in perfect position to watch the other get something done for once which already was an exception in itself. Dazai doing anything? Well that was certainly a special occasion.
Dazai did make sure to annoy him as much as possible. His actions included attempting to break open the eggs by hitting them against Chuuya’s forehead, threatening to pour in an entire bag of baking powder instead of the few spoonful it was supposed to be, spilling cooking oil all over the counter and making Chuuya clean it up, eating a third of the chocolate chips that were supposed to end up in the dough and, of course: Making Chuuya lick the finished dough off his fingers when they were taste testing their creation.
Chuuya had rolled his eyes, but indulged him regardless, making sure to annoy him back just a little bit by putting in some extra effort to suck on his boyfriend’s fingers in a way suggestive enough to rile him up, before pulling away and poking his nose when one sneaky, free arm tried encircling his waist. So rather than letting Dazai continue this, he instead insisted the two of them had to finish the muffins, much to Dazai’s dismay. Chuuya simply smirked and guided his lover to help fill in the tray and place it in the oven.
Dazai sulked, arms crossed, looking at Chuuya expectantly. Chuuya threw a look at the timer. They had 30 minutes of waiting ahead of them. And since he liked his boyfriend just as much as his boyfriend liked him, he took care of the sulking by pressing Dazai up against their fridge, connecting their lips in pursuit of one of their makeout sessions. He supposed they did have a couple of minutes to kill.
—
Despite their momentary distraction, they managed to not let the muffins burn. And 30 minutes after putting them in the oven, they were done. They didn’t look perfect, the dough distribution slightly uneven, making some smaller than others, but they still tasted good. Dazai even insisted they stick small candles on top of the finished product and made Chuuya blow them out. A fucking children’s thing, that was, but somehow, it was just as annoyingly endearing as a lot of Dazai’s actions were. Truly, Chuuya couldn’t imagine a life without his menace of a boyfriend right at his side.
Their afternoon was spent sharing snacks and playing games which somehow turned into them, entangled on their couch, playing matches in between rounds of kissing. Later that day, Chuuya would end up scolding Dazai for the sheer amount of purple-ish marks left around his neck and shoulder region. But he’d wear his planned dinner outfit regardless, happy enough to show off the other’s claims. Dazai always called him a dog. But considering how much of a biter the brunette was, Chuuya sometimes questioned whether these roles should be reversed.
Later that night, Chuuya was the one driving them to their dinner place. A high-end restaurant under Port Mafia protection. It was one of these places where businessmen would hold their boring dinner meetings and cheesy couples would celebrate their five year milestone anniversaries. Though Chuuya had chosen the place simply because their food was good and it was one of the very few restaurants where his partner would actually eat something. Plus: the restaurant staff knew of them. And so none of them bat an eye at their bickering or asked them whether they needed relationship counseling, which was much more important than the confusion of the other guests. Chuuya wouldn’t let any strangers interrupt such an important dinner date with his boyfriend goddamnit! Especially not today!
Yes, Chuuya never cared about his birthday. But Dazai insisted. And so, months earlier, had made Chuuya call the restaurant to get a reservation. Turns out it was worth it, as their table was by far the best in the whole place. Of course Dazai made sure to be especially obnoxious about that part.
“See chibi?~ Wasn’t it just an amazing idea to call half a year in advance?! I think I deserve plenty of praise for this one!” He said, seemingly all-too-happy with himself. Chuuya sighed, already sensing the incoming headache. “You’re not gonna let that one go, eh?” He asked. Dazai simply grinned and his grin was answer enough.
“I wanted tonight to be special!” He started, his grin morphing into a much softer smile as he looked at Chuuya, reaching out to hold his hand. Chuuya let him. Their fingers fit together perfectly. Like they had at 15, like they still did at 18, three years later. “Especially since your 18th is such a special birthday. I mean, not only are you a legal adult now, no. You’ll also find your soulmate today! Today deserves to be special. …And I wanna make sure that you won’t just forget about me.”
There it was again. Typical Dazai and his typical problems. Chuuya squeezed his hand and then leaned across the table to kiss him stupid. Because yes, despite their bickering, they were that couple. And they absolutely didn’t care about anyone else.
“You’ll never learn, Dazai. Will ya?” Chuuya asked and shook his head. “I have a partner. That partner is you. And I don’t want someone else. That decision was clear from the start, was it? And you know that. So why are you still so insistent that I’ll just disappear and pursue some person because a stupid mark I have told me so?” Dazai shrugged and looked away, mildly embarrassed. “Because soulmates are supposed to be your perfect match. And Chibi deserves a perfect match.” His words were soft and quiet, making Chuuya feel warm. Stupid Dazai and the way he cared about him so much. And Chuuya sincerely doubted he’d ever find a more perfect match for himself. Not that he wanted to. He was tied to the Mackerel for life regardless. And no mark would take that away from them. He already had a plan for the remaining day. And for proving that he’d rather have his partner, even if they didn’t turn out to have the same soulmark, than a random person he probably never met before.
“You’re stupid, Dazai.” He stated and smacked him with a spoon. “Turn your brain off for once alright? I don’t wanna think about what fate may or may not be telling me. I just want to enjoy this date with my shitty boyfriend. That good?” And Dazai, despite the look he was still giving him, decided to shut up and squeeze his hand in a silent agreement.
With the soulmate topic pushed to the back, dinner was much better. Even if just because the contemplative expression disappeared from Dazai’s face and he simply allowed himself to have fun. Something he rarely did. Something Chuuya was still working on. His goal ‘till this day was to get Dazai to a point where he no longer worried about every step he took and every word he said. It was a slow process, but Chuuya had all the patience necessary to work with his partner.
The two of them ate, talked, bickered as they would on any normal day and watched the city skyline from the restaurant’s terrace, following the sun as it dipped behind the horizon. The sky was clear and beautiful and momentarily, Chuuya almost considered whether Dazai had somehow managed to blackmail the weather gods into giving him a sunny birthday despite the strange weather circumstances over the past days and weeks. But it was probably just a lucky coincidence.
After dinner, the two of them went straight home to enjoy the remainder of the day huddling outside on their balcony, sharing a blanket and staring at the stars while sharing a bottle of one of Chuuya’s most expensive wines. Dazai was warm next to him, sides pressed together, an arm wrapped around Chuuya’s shoulders. Chuuya nuzzled his nose in the bandage-free side of Dazai’s neck.
Dazai without his bandages was something precious. It was a part of him no one was allowed to see. No one besides Chuuya, that is. Seeing his partner like this so casually was something he never would’ve expected when their relationship started back when they were 15. But over the years, as their partnership grew closer, it was no longer uncommon for Dazai to forgo the bandages when within the safety of their home.
Chuuya was mildly tipsy, but not drunk yet. He wanted to be conscious whenever it would happen. Just a few more minutes until 12 AM. And then he’d get his soulmark. And then he’d also know whether fate would be nice enough to have him bound to a certain Mackerel of his.
Chuuya knew that Dazai didn’t have his soulmark yet. He’d seen the other’s body enough times to be sure of such a fact. Maybe tonight that would change. Maybe Dazai would also have a new addition to his skin. Maybe life would be nice to them for once.
“It’s almost time.” Dazai mumbled. Chuuya curled further into his side. “Stop worrying, shitty Dazai.” He responded, biting his boyfriend’s shoulder for good measure. Dazai’s hands were carding through his hair. It made him feel sleepy. Dazai only hummed and pulled him closer. “The moon is beautiful tonight, isn’t it?” He asked. Chuuya snorted and punched him gently. “Oh fuck off idiot. Can’t you ever say ‘I love you’ normally?” Dazai chuckled. “But I like the phrase!” He complained. Chuuya sighed, a smile tugging at his lips. “Why did I ever fall for a cheesy ass like you?” He asked. It wasn’t a question, both of them knew. They didn’t need to know how it happened to know that it happened.
“11:58.” Dazai informed. Chuuya hugged him under their blanket. “Two more minutes.” He responded. Maybe he should be more concerned. But he was also almost certain that if he were to get a soulmate, he already knew who it would be.
“I love you too, ‘Samu.” He spoke quietly, in response to his boyfriend’s previous words.
12 AM. Chuuya’s phone rang with a message alert he knew to be Kouyou’s ringtone. The woman had made it abundantly clear that she wanted to be the first to know about Chuuya’s soulmark. But Chuuya was much too busy with the tingle he felt in his right arm. A warmth he was familiar with. A warmth he connected with late nights, deep conversations, soft hugs, gentle kisses. A warmth that, to him, came in the form of bandages, dark eyes, relentless teasing and bickering, inexplicable trust and a bond that transcended all logic and reason.
Chuuya didn’t have to look at the mark to know he’d already won. But he did regardless, even if just to take his boyfriend’s worries away.
And there, on the inside of his right wrist, a heart wrapped in decorative bandages with a small hat on top. Honestly, it looked like a funny little emoji, but that was the least of Chuuya’s concerns. Instead, he looked over at his partner who was staring at him with wide eyes, one hand holding onto his own right arm, eyes blinking slowly. “C’mon, give me your wrist.” Chuuya demanded. And so Dazai did.
There, on pale skin, surrounded by scars that told the darkest of stories, sat the same mark Chuuya could see on his own arm. The same heart. The same bandages. The same hat. Chuuya looked up at his partner with a small smirk. He tapped Dazai’s mark and it glowed a beautiful golden color. “See? You’ve got absolutely nothing to worry about, Mackerel.”
Dazai remained frozen for a few moments. And then, out of seemingly nowhere, he tackled Chuuya to the ground in the tightest of hugs. Only that Chuuya had, of course, anticipated it. This was Dazai after all. And he knew his movement and breathing patterns better than he knew his own.
“There there you fucking asshole. Guess I really am stuck with you for life, aren’t I?” Chuuya asked, mildly amused, patting Dazai’s back. He had a feeling his partner wouldn’t let him go anytime soon.
“...And you’re okay with that?” Dazai asked, voice almost shy. “Being stuck with me for life and whatnot? Being stuck with me for a soulmate?” Chuuya squeezed him tightly. “Of fucking course I am. Y’know, I had a feeling from the moment we met. That we’d end up here one day. And look where we are, soulmate .”
Dazai made a noise that almost sounded like a squeal. Stupidly sweet. Stupidly endearing. Chuuya wouldn’t have it any other way. “I did too, y’know?” Dazai said, voice muffled. “I felt like if anyone were to be my soulmate, it would be you.” Chuuya chuckled and pressed a kiss to brown hair. “...Is that why you told me you loved me like a day after we first met?” He asked. He could practically feel Dazai blush against him. “Shut up! You’ll never let me live this down, will you?” He sounded so defeated. It was all the more reason to keep teasing him with that particular moment. “Never. You’re stuck with that reminder as much as you are stuck with me.”
With that worry out of the way, Chuuya could finally get to another thing that he wanted to do today. And so, after a few minutes, he sat the two of them up and smiled, looking into Dazai’s eyes. “Hey.” He whispered. “Hi.” Dazai responded. Chuuya took a deep breath, then tilted his head to the side. “Dazai?” Dazai gave him a quiet hum, telling him to go on. Chuuya grinned.
“For my birthday present, I’d like you. As my husband.” He declared.
Dazai’s eyes went wide and he stared at him in utter disbelief. Chuuya crossed his arms, expectantly. “So?” He prodded at the malfunctioning genius. “Yes or no?”
It was no big proposal, no grand romantic gesture, but neither of them were the type of person to make a huge fuss about such a thing. They were just… Them. In a way, they were always gonna end up here, together, on their balcony, making promises for a lifetime. And sure, they were only around 18. And sure, maybe they were moving far too quickly for the average human. But then again, when has anything about them ever been ‘average’, or ‘conventional’, or ‘normal’?
So it came as no surprise when Dazai tackled him into yet another hug, mumbling a string of ‘yes’ against his lips as he absolutely literally kissed him into the ground. Chuuya kissed back with just as much enthusiasm. Their blanket had fully been thrown to the side. But it didn’t matter. Like this, entangled into one another, no amount of cold air could make them shiver, for as long as they were the two of them, together.
Eventually, begrudgingly, they had to depart due to a lack of oxygen. Chuuya spent a few moments digging through his pocket before finding what he was looking for. That being: A ring he bought especially for this occasion. It was silver with a real, black diamond, size perfectly adjusted for the finger of the man whose hand he immediately seized to place it on. Dazai watched with a warm, bright expression.
“We’ve got two months to plan a wedding, soulmate .” Chuuya stated as he leaned back. “So, is there anyone specific you definitely wanna invite?”
And that was that.
In hindsight, Chuuya still would’ve gone through with the proposal, even if Dazai hadn’t turned out to be his soulmate. Because this was Dazai. Heck, he’d basically sworn his life away to the guy the moment he accepted working with him. So really, this was just an official change of title.
But through it all, he’d still be Dazai’s partner, first and foremost. Before his soulmate, before his boyfriend, before his fiancé, before his husband , they’d always be partners.
He may have only received his mark today. But to Chuuya, he’d long since been claimed by a stupidly tall, bandaged brunette. Already since back then, when he kicked him into a wall.
And nothing fate told him could change that.
It’s always been you.
It will always be you.