Archive of Our Own ^beta

Being an idol again – freelancing, even – has taught Shizuku many things; chiefly that she’s not sure she ever really was an idol until this point.

Could she really inspire people, following instructions to the letter as she did? Was speaking only from scripts and never in her own words really going to reach people? Shizuku can’t help but feel it wouldn’t. To call it fraudulent would sit something in the space between disrespectful and (unfortunately) true. 

More More Jump is a blessing, in that regard, and many others. To be able to contribute in ways other than following the mould made for her – it makes it feel that much more real. Suddenly, her ideas, her thoughts, her contributions have merit – and with Airi’s keen eye for business, many of them have been given form.

…Airi. How it delights her to think that after all this time, she gets to stand on stage right next to her. As if Shizuku wouldn’t have volunteered everything she’d had heaped upon her shoulders just for the chance, back then. Once upon a time, Airi had been her distant, shining ideal that she'd ever-so-fruitlessly tried to reach, and always fell short of grasping. Today, Airi is the girl who sits at her shoulder, rolls her eyes at her bad jokes, and seems to do nothing but make Shizuku’s dreams come true.

She splashes her face with a little water, and shakes it off. No, she’s getting a tad overexcited about this. Shiho’s warned her many a time about letting her apparently ardent feelings get the better of her, and that just won’t do – not when Shizuku is this close to having everything she’s ever dreamed of fall neatly into place.

Morning practice is just more exciting when it’s the four of them. Minori’s endless energy is infectious – tempered with Haruka’s gentle scolding, should her inner golden retriever emerge. Shizuku has only met the girl’s beloved Samo-chan once, but it’s led her to believe quite strongly that pets resemble their owners… or was it the other way around? Haruka seems to be holding the lead, but truth be told, Minori does more pulling than following…

(Her dog analogy might be running away from her, here…)

Airi claps her hands. “Come on, let’s get one more run-through done before class starts. From the top!”

Shizuku is more than happy to dance to Airi’s tune – even more so when the choreography brings them side-by-side; even more so when it allows for her to catch the briefest glimpse of Airi as she’s shining her brightest. There’s a part of her that wishes she had the chops to be their choreographer – if only so she could sit in the audience and watch her. It may be precisely for this reason that she isn’t quite suited for such a role… Airi does such a good job, anyway. 

Her focus withers a little bit towards the end – compared to Airi or Haruka, her stamina does tend to flag a little bit. Minori is gasping for breath as Airi releases them; she splays out on the floor, staring at the sun. Haruka presses a chilled bottle of water against her cheek – when she yelps and rolls away, Haruka covers her mouth and giggles.

“Oh, so you did have something left in the tank—”

“N-no! That was just my body reacting…!”

They’re so close, Shizuku can’t help but think. Haruka is still cagey and distant with anyone outside of their group, but Minori drags out the best of her, she thinks. It’s nice.

“Shizuku, you ran out of beans at the end there, huh?” 

“Ah—”

Airi knocks her on the head, before taking a seat beside her, leaning against the wall. It’s true. Airi always knows. Shizuku puts aside the rush she gets from it – glances to her side.

“I knew you’d notice… yes, I was getting a bit tired towards the end. I’ve been having trouble getting a good night’s sleep, since it’s been so warm at night recently…”

Airi considers that, before shrugging. “Well, it’s not really an issue. We train for longer than we’d perform exactly for that reason, and it’s not like we’re taking breaks to emcee. I think you’re doing fine – so long as you’re aware of it.”

It’s very Airi, for her to bring this up – something that isn’t really a problem, just something she could work on. Perhaps she could go for slightly longer runs with Haruka…? Ah, but she might run out of time before class…

“No miso soup today?” Airi notes the colour of the liquid in her flask – and, honestly. Airi has many talents, but understanding the appropriate time for certain beverages certainly isn’t one of them.

“In this heat? Of course not,” Shizuku frowns. “I brought some of that electrolyte-drink Haruka told us about last time. She says it’ll help us recover for afternoon practice – and it’s rather tasty chilled.”

“Oh, really? Can I have a sip?” Airi holds out a hand; Shizuku gives her her bottle without really thinking about it. It’s only after Airi puts her lips to it that the implication hits her – and she has to really fight to not react. 

“Hey, yeah, this isn’t bad,” Airi smacks her lips a few times, before glancing back at Shizuku, and raising an eyebrow. “Uh, you good? The heat’s got you all flushed.”

It’s not the heat!

“Mm, I’m fine…” she mumbles, which is more of a half-truth than she really means, but it’s not not true, because she truly is fine with this, it’s just – a little much, maybe. Airi doesn’t seem to think so, though.

“Well, let’s move you out of the sun, in any case,” Airi gets up, and offers her a hand. “I wouldn’t want your delicate face getting all freckled like mine, y’hear?”

Shizuku frowns. Airi does this often – trades a compliment for an insult in the same breath. It’s frustrating – really, really frustrating. Enough to make Shizuku crinkle up her nose about it, which only ever earns her a frown anyway. 

“I think you have nice skin… I know you take good care of it…” She can’t help but grumble, even as she takes the hand that’s offered, and allows herself to be pulled to her feet. Despite her protests, it really is nicer in the shade. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Airi’s good at brushing her off, too. “I’m talking about your baby-soft cheeks, Shizuku. They’re an asset for an idol!”

Airi’s hands squish her cheeks, just for a moment – the contact is enough to break her concentration, and she can’t help but feel her face flush again. Airi’s hands are cool, even on a hot day like today, which makes the sensation rather strange. It feels nice.

“Airi, can you tell me what you think of this?” And just like that, Haruka steals Airi’s attention away from her.

It’s a little petty of her to feel jealous, Shizuku knows. Airi is a popular girl, and she doesn’t have infinite time. Much of it she’s already devoting to making More More Jump the best they can be – so she really shouldn’t be so selfish. 

Yet, she selfishly, selfishly wishes that sometimes she could have Airi all to herself. Just for a little bit. 

Maybe then she’d listen – maybe then she’d believe the words that tumble out of Shizuku’s mouth every time she hears her put herself down. Maybe then she’d understand just how strongly Shizuku feels about this – about her. 

For someone so dazzling – well, Shizuku thinks it’s a shame she’s so blinded by her own radiance that she can’t see it for herself.

Airi keeps brushing her off, though. It happens again, and again – at practice, at their training camp, even during classes. For all the blessings she’s received since meeting Minori, she should be content – and yet, she wants more.

She’s seen how much Minori loves Haruka – and, whether or not Haruka can reciprocate isn’t the problem. Haruka believes her – and they’ve grown closer as a result, haven’t they? Shizuku wants that – for herself and Airi. For the girl who she’s always to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with. No – to hold close, even.

She can’t even scratch the surface of that, though, unless Airi starts to put stock in what she’s saying. Shizuku’s sure she’s been saying the right things – how many times can she tell Airi how much she loves every part of her? While Shizuku thinks she might never exhaust the list of things she loves about her, Airi might take it strangely, maybe, if Shizuku mentions how cute her knees are.

Airi’s being assailed by the juniors who love her so (how delightful to find out that her Shiho’s beloved Saki is such a fan of Airi) when the idea strikes her. She’s mentioned before that Ena is a loyal friend – and even better, Ena’s known Airi far longer than Shizuku has. Mizuki is such a sweetheart, too, and a creative problem-solver… wait, wouldn’t asking the two of them also give them an opportunity to get closer?

Yes, this might be killing two birds with one stone. Shizuku can’t help but feel pleased with herself.

“So, what’s this all about?” Ena’s demeanour is all business, as far as Shizuku can tell. No wonder, from someone so good at wrangling Airi. She takes a sip of her hot chocolate; it leaves a little moustache on her top lip that she doesn’t seem to notice. No wonder Airi finds her so charming.

“Ena, you’ve got a lil’ something,” Mizuki points at their own face, glancing briefly towards Shizuku. Ena glances at what Shizuku presumes must be her reflection in the glass of her phone, then quietly, hastily wipes her mouth with a napkin. 

“Well?” She turns back to Shizuku.

“Um… well, as I’m sure you could gather, it’s about Airi…” Shizuku might have put enough thought into this to ask these two specifically, but she’s certainly finding now that they’re in front of her, finding exactly what she wants to say is a smidge trickier than she’d expected.

After all, it’s Airi. Of course Shizuku loves her. Who doesn’t? She’s everyone’s favourite variety idol. For Shizuku to want to claim she feels most strongly about her – is that egotistical?

“Airi? Oh god, are you two fighting? You need me to go get her to pull her head in?” Ena looks appalled, having already pulled out her phone – and if Ena’s anything like Minori when it comes to texting, she’s already halfway through a message.

“Oh, no, no! Nothing like that. Much the opposite, rather,” Shizuku can’t help but put a hand to her cheek. “She’s been rather sweet lately.”

“Then…? You said it was something about Airi. Did something happen?”

“I suppose that’s the problem,” she says, softly, “Nothing has. I simply… wish she would regard me a little more fondly.”

The two of them lean forward in their chairs, interest clearly piqued. Shizuku wonders how wretched the blush across her cheeks must be. She’s not usually so timid about this sort of thing, but being scrutinised is a little…

She glances back up, though, and their faces aren’t nearly so scary as she might have thought. 

“So that’s what it was…” Ena folds her arms, looking away from them, as if in a daydream. Shizuku can only imagine what she might be thinking of. She hopes it’s nice.

“I never thought you’d call us because you wanted to confess , Shizuku,” Mizuki wiggles a little, with what Shizuku hopes to be excitement. 

“What? Airi’s my best friend. Who else would she ask?” 

“Well, I thought she might talk to Minori or Haruka first…” Mizuki shrugs, while Ena frowns.

Shizuku shakes her head, though. “Truth be told, I’m a little concerned what Haruka might think. I worry that she might try and talk me out of it.”

“I suppose idols aren’t really meant to date, huh?” Mizuki thumbs their chin.

“What? I mean, yeah, sure, but they’re not with an agency. Who cares?” Shizuku’s heart lifts a little as Ena scoffs.

“I mean, I guess…”

…nonetheless, this has rather gotten away from her. She should have asked what she intended to ask from the very beginning.

“With that said, Ena,” Shizuku coughs, “I realise I’m being rather forward, but – I would like to ask for your blessing in pursuing Airi.” She dips her head down, hoping to convey that she’s rather serious about this. 

“I—” She can hear Ena snort. Oh no. “Well, I’m not her Dad, but, uh, yeah. She’d be an idiot to turn you down.” Oh, thank goodness.

“I’m so relieved,” Shizuku tilts her head back up, eyes shining. It would have been rather terrible if Ena of all people didn’t approve. “I don’t quite know what I would do if you’d said no.”

“Yeah, no, there was no way that was going to happen,” Ena shakes her head, like the possibility had never even crossed her mind. “As if I don’t hear enough about you from Airi, I get to hear secondhand accounts from this one.” Ena gestures at Mizuki, who suddenly stares sheepishly into their cup.  

“In any case,” Ena rests her chin in her palm, “What have you tried thus far?”

“Um…” Shizuku racks her brain. It’d be tough to say she’d been trying specific things… “Well, I try to tell her I love her most days, but she doesn’t seem to take me seriously. When we eat lunch together, sometimes she’ll let me feed her. I try to buy her the sweets she likes whenever I can, but Haruka scolds me if I do it too often… so, I try to do it a bit more discreetly these days.”

Ena and Mizuki’s faces take on a funny expression; Shizuku can’t quite parse it.

“Hm? Is something wrong?”

“No, no,” Mizuki blinks, “Is, uh, that all?”

“Well, let’s see…” Shizuku thumbs her chin. “When we went away on a training camp, we had this lovely walk on the beach together at night, just the two of us. I tried to tell her how much she meant to me, and I think she took it well…? We held hands on the way back… Other than that, hmm… oh, one time I thought I might pretend to be a cat, since she loves them so much, and she ended up petting my hair for hours! Then—”

“Okay, okay, time out!” Mizuki puts their hands up – Shizuku worries she’s overstepped. “This is more of an issue than I thought it would be.”

“Airi…” Ena’s face is in her hands. “You’re so fucking stupid…” 

“A-Airi’s not stupid!” Shizuku feels the urgent need to protest this, frantic. Mizuki places one hand gently on her shoulder, though, and she settles just a bit. Though, Ena’s looking rather upset, and Shizuku can’t help but feel that this is her fault…

“Well, she’s definitely pushing the boundaries of dense,” Mizuki sighs. “I don’t think you’re doing anything particularly wrong, Shizuku, but…”

“But…?”

“I think we need a slightly more forceful approach,” Ena mumbles from between her hands, before lifting her head. “Something foolproof. Airi-proof, even.”

“Hmm, I mean, it just needs to click for her, right?” Mizuki folds their arms. “Okay, okay. So, get this. You take her somewhere she likes, you know – get her feeling comfortable, like you two can be honest with each other.”

Shizuku hums, tilting her head. That would be…? It’d be nice to take her to a café, but it’s not like there’s one in particular that comes to mind…

Oh, of course! The rooftop. Airi loves practice!

“Then, once you have her in your sights, you need to stress how important she is to you—”

“Slow down, Enanan!” Mizuki elbows her; Ena looks mildly offended, rolls her eyes. “First, you’ve got to set the mood – you’ve gotta show just how much you pay attention to her. You could compliment her usual outfit, or if you’re going out to eat – show that you remember her regular order. Then…”

Shizuku nods intently. Well, Airi normally wears her regular practice clothing, so that might be a little hard… but she can certainly go out of her way to find her some proper Japanese sweets – that much, at least, she can do.

Ena chimes in, merrily, “Once you’ve got her guard down, that’s when you confess – but! You’ve got to make it clear that you’re serious about this – that you’re in it for the long haul. You’re not pressuring her to return your feelings right away, right?”

Mizuki hums in agreement. “Right~”

Then, like they’d rehearsed it – ““There’s no way she could misinterpret it if you do all that!””

Warmth fills her chest – if Ena and Mizuki are this confident, then they must be right. After all, the two of them are so close. Shizuku must ask Ena if Mizuki ever told her about that problem she was having…

…but that might be for another time. For now, she’s the one on the receiving end – and she has good advice, a plan, and a way to move forward. 

Watch out, Airi! 

Shizuku’s been acting real freaking weird the last couple months. It’s crept up on Airi – started as what she thought were regular old Shizuku-isms, but the more Airi thinks about it, the more it bothers her.

Ever since they formed More More Jump, sure, Shizuku’s been clingier than Airi might have ever expected her to be – but that’s just how she is. A bona-fide sweetheart with less shame than most, and fewer social inhibitions than just about anyone she knows. 

It’s just that she’s a little bit… well.

“Oh, Airi, you looked so lovely here,” she says, pointing at the screen as they replay their stream. “I just can’t get enough of your twirl.”

Shizuku compliments freely and often; it’s just who she is. It’s not an issue, so much so as it is that Airi feels like she’s being targeted a little. She’s not blind to what Shizuku’s doing; she knows Shizuku probably still thinks that she’s got some sort of complex about how Haruka and Shizuku are a certain type of idol, and people like herself and Minori fall into a different category (and, well, she might be right about it, but she’s working on that, ‘kay?). 

Even still, that doesn’t mean Airi needs her to point out every little detail. They’re all pretty conscientious of Minori – if anyone needs the ego boost, it’s definitely her, plucky as she might be. Shizuku can be a little clumsy about trying to help when she’s got it in her head someone’s doing something wrong, but she’s usually right… somehow.

Which is the perplexing thing, right? Because surely if Airi ever needed it, it would’ve been right as they were starting out, no? Not that Shizuku wasn’t all over her anyway, but even so. This is – this is definitely new… ish. Something’s changed, anyway.

“Hey, Haruka,” Airi catches her at the end of practice, on the rare occasion where both of the others have left ahead. “Is it just me, or has Shizuku been acting a little odd recently?”

Haruka tilts her head, unimpeachable smile plastered across her face. It used to piss Airi off, a bit, just how good her poker face is. It still does, a bit, but nowadays it’s mostly just unnerving. “What do you mean?”

“Look, I’m saying this between us, as the two rational members of the More More Circus,” Airi feels a tad mean for that one, but it’s not that far beyond that pale. “Don’t you think Shizuku has been a little clingy, recently?”

Clingy might not have been the perfect word to use, but it’s the nicest way Airi can think of to say “all up her in her business” without insinuating Shizuku’s up to something. Which she might be – bless her heart – but god knows.

“Clingy…? Is that what you’d call it…?” Ha. So she has noticed something. Haruka rightens herself, and smiles. “I’d say she’s acting as she normally does.” Huh?

Airi isn’t really sure how to push the conversation further, but… what the hell does that mean? Either Haruka knows something, or Airi really is losing all of her beans at once. 

“Airi!” Shizuku tackle-hugs her, and the opportunity to figure out what Haruka’s grinning about is lost. “I need to go pick something up from town; can you come with me?”

“Woah –“ Airi thinks for a second, “Yeah, I’ve got time. What do you need?”

“I’m almost out of my favourite hand crème,” she says, “I thought I’d pick up another bottle before I run out entirely.”

Oh, Airi knows the one. “The little blue bottle, from the store on the second floor of the mall?” Shizuku nods fervently. 

“Sure thing. I’m not in a hurry today or anything.” And, if anything else, it’ll be a good opportunity to try and figure out what’s gotten Shizuku so wound up. Airi feels Shizuku squeeze her tight as she lathers on the gratitude; she just rolls her eyes.

Haruka keeps the exact same expression on her face until they part ways for the evening. Damn her.

On their way to the mall, Airi tries to puzzle out something odd about Shizuku, but honestly… she’s just Shizuku . She snuggles up close whenever they need to stop for a light; her eyes sparkle when she talks about how excited she is for their stream. She’s been stepping up a lot recently – suggesting more ideas, taking plans into her own hands – Airi’s proud, a bit. There’s confidence in Shizuku’s step where there used to be hesitance – maybe she wonders a little less if the only thing she has to offer is the perfect Shizuku Hinomori. Airi hopes that’s the case. All she can do is count her blessings that she’s the one who gets to watch it all happen, standing shoulder-to-sh… upper arm with her. 

“I still think a baking stream would go over well with our viewers,” Shizuku hums, “They loved the part of our training camp where we had to drink those strange smoothies.”

“I mean, I wouldn’t mind, but…” Baking is one of her strengths, that’s for sure, but the other three of them have next to no baking experience – it puts her in the limelight in a way that feels like a lot of pressure. They’ve only just gotten back from their training camp, too.

“And, I’d get to try your lovely sweets again…” Shizuku’s practically drooling at the thought – Airi snorts. 

“You know, you can just ask me to bake something, Shizuku,” She’d do it, for her. 

“Really!?” The thought seems to snap Shizuku back to reality. “I can? You will?”

“I mean, if I have the time,” Airi elbows her, “You know how busy we are.”

“…I’ll think long and hard about what I want you to make!” 

Airi’s kind of in love with this side of Shizuku, too – where she gets all pumped and earnestly serious about the silliest of things. Some of her friends (Ena) have, historically, been a little greedy (Ena) when asking for her to bake something (Ena), but Shizuku’s always like this – she never feels taken for granted. It’s nice.

“Hey, we’re here,” Airi tugs at Shizuku’s sleeve; somewhere between the baking stream and Airi getting a little gooey, they’d made their way through the mall and up the escalator. “Yikes…”

A big ‘sale’ banner is plastered across the top of the entrance. Uh oh.

“Ah…” Shizuku frowns. The store is teeming with people – the store attendants are busy enough with the people queued with items to purchase that there’s absolutely zero chance of having one help them find the bottle in question.

“Any idea where in the store it might be?” Airi doubts it, given it’s been a while – this store tends to change their layout every so often too, so finding anything specific tends to be a bit of a mission.

“I’m sorry…” She grimaces, and Airi sighs.

“Don’t worry about it,” Airi puts her hands on her hips. “You check the left side; I’ll start on the right.”

“Right!” Shizuku toddles off to the left side of the store, squeezing between the people still browsing. It’s kind of surprising that the store is this busy so late in the evening, but – well, that’s the power of a sale, she supposes.

The right side of the store mostly seems to be nice-smelling things; the front of the store is mostly candles – then, perfumes.

Come to think of it, when was the last time she bought new perfume? She’s meant to be here to help Shizuku, but hey, when in Rome…

Finding a decent perfume is a bit of a trial and error sort of deal – Airi’s halfway up her arm in scents before she finds something that doesn’t register as off to her nostrils. It’s a richer scent – floral, certainly, but not something Airi could name. She flips the bottle over, to check the tag, and – 

“Sheesh,” Airi puts it back down. That’s a good few month’s allowance. 

“Don’t you want to get it?” Shizuku’s breath in her ear would make Airi jump, if this hadn’t happened a thousand times before. She’s gotten good enough, reflexively, to at least not make a scene about it. Still, if she’s this close… 

“Not with that price tag,” Airi huffs. “I was just thinking about getting something for our next live. It’d be nice to have a signature scent.”

“I think you smell lovely as is…” Shizuku mumbles. Girl?

“Right after practise??” Airi’s pretty sure she’s just smelling the perfume she has on her arm, but – still, what . “Look, you might smell like roses rain or shine, but I am definitely in need of a shower.”

“Hmmm…” Shizuku frowns for just a moment, before wrapping her arms around Airi. “I found it, see?”

In Shizuku’s hand is one tiny blue bottle, with the brand name Airi recognises. Still, there’s another issue with the situation.

“Shizuku,” Airi coughs, “We’re in public.”

“Hm?” Airi wiggles out of her grasp; Shizuku just pouts, which trips Airi’s guilt a little more than she’d like. She doesn’t have to look so sad about it! It’s not like Airi isn’t a little bit in love with Shizuku’s wanton acts of affection (she’s a good hugger), it’s just – they’re in the mall. Come on…

“Go buy your thing, okay? I’ll wait outside,” it’s better for Airi’s wallet if she doesn’t keep perusing the merchandise. The more she thinks about how nice that perfume smelled, the harder it gets to resist…

The line is, at the least, fast-moving, and Shizuku comes back fast enough, little bag in hand.

“It was half-price! I should have bought two…” Shizuku comments, nonetheless satisfied.

“You can always come back next time they have a sale.” They start making for the exit, now that Shizuku has what they came for.

“True…” Shizuku hums in assent.

It’s just about getting dark outside – were they really there that long? Hmm…

“Oh, Airi, look!” Shizuku points towards the café that sits by the entrance to the mall – seems like they’ve got a special on – a full platter of wagashi for two… oh… “Want to go see?”

It takes all of Airi’s willpower to refuse such a heavenly offer. “I… will get murdered at home if I ruin my appetite for dinner.” Not entirely true, but not entirely a lie.

“It should be alright if we get something substantial after, no?” Ah, there it is. The weirdly, strangely persistent Shizuku Airi’s caught glimpses of the last few months. It’s not like she’s wrong – they’ve gone out to eat after practice before. It’s just – ah… 

“I really shouldn’t,” Airi grumbles, turning away and making to head outside, but Shizuku tugs at her sleeve.

“You don’t want to go with me?” Oh, hell. What’s with the pleading? 

“It’s not like that,” Airi sighs. It is so super not like that. “Look, we can go another time, okay? Maybe on the weekend.”

“The promotion says it ends tomorrow…” Shizuku continues to pout, and point at the sign. Guh… Airi’s not infallible – she is absolutely weak to this sort of needling. And if the promotion really is ending tomorrow, then… wouldn’t it be a shame if they didn’t go? Maybe this is what Shizuku’s been angling for this whole time – just to spend a bit of time together.

“Fine, fine, I get it, let’s — ah.“ Like clockwork, her phone buzzes. Shizuku looks at her with interest as she checks it. 

Ah…

It’s her mother, asking if she’ll be home for dinner, and if she couldn’t pick up a few groceries on the way home.

It’s not like her siblings are going to starve if she says no – they have food in the fridge, they have rice, but…

Ugh.

“Sorry, Shizuku,” Airi holds up her phone, defeated. “Mom wants me to pick up a few things.”

“Oh…” Shizuku’s entire person droops. “I see…” She looks more bummed out about it than Airi feels. They won’t have time tomorrow, since they’ll have post-stream review to do, so it’s today or nothing.

Still, home calls. She’s gotta do what she’s (sigh) gotta do.

“Hey, cheer up, yeah?” Airi nudges her with her elbow. “We can go somewhere next time.”

“Mmhmm,” Shizuku nods, but with absolutely none of her usual energy. Airi can’t help but feel like she’s committed some sort of major crime here, but… well, it is what it is. 

That feeling sticks with her through dinner – even through until bedtime, when Ena texts her, out of the blue.

ena: You’re such a fucking moron.
airi: ????????

Ena leaves her on read. It’s certainly not the first time Ena’s blown up at her without context, but Airi is absolutely lost as to what in the fresh hell could be up her ass. They’ve barely spoken all week! Airi’s been busy with MMJ work, and Ena’s been busy with her doujin circle.

If Airi didn’t know better, she’d say Ena and Shizuku were in on some sort of grand conspiracy to guilt-trip her or something. Ugh. Whatever. Ena’s a big girl, she can figure out her shit in her own time. Airi’s got plenty enough to do what with Shizuku acting up.

Still, that uneasy feeling sits like a weight on her chest, all the evening until she finally falls asleep.

Shizuku is… fine, the next day at school. They eat lunch together like normal; they chat like normal, everything is just fine. Maybe Airi’s imagining things – maybe she’s off the hook. Whatever the case, Shizuku seems unbothered by it, so Airi should be too.

…it doesn’t stop her from keeping an eye on things, though. Their stream starts and finishes without a hitch; Minori hits a home run with the questions she answers in their post practice Q&A, so Airi makes sure to ruffle her hair a bit and praise her. She’s coming along so well, that girl. She doesn’t miss the ever-brief envious look Shizuku tosses their way, though.

“Is there anything else we wanted to talk about?” Haruka’s the one to put a pin in their discussion for the evening – there’s not much else to say. Shizuku shakes her head; Minori is busy enjoying the praise she’s received.

“Looks like that’s it, then,” Airi follows up. “Good stuff today, girls. Minori, you needed to head off early today, right? Don’t let us keep you.”

Shizuku nods. “I’ll handle clean-up today, so you three can head on out if you’d like.”

Uh-oh. Airi had… better make sure she puts the camera away properly, just in case. “I’ll stay and help. Haruka, Minori, you two can go.”

“Well, if you’re sure—”

“Thanks, guys! I’ll make it up to you next practise!!” 

Minori dashes off at the speed of light; Haruka waves as she makes her way out as well, which leaves just the two of them. 

Truthfully, putting the camera back doesn’t require two people, but it’s easier still if one person’s able to hold the camera while the other puts away the tripod. Shizuku seems happy for the company for one. 

Airi zips the camera back into its case, and huffs. Shizuku has the tripod folded up, but rather than carrying it, she’s leant it against the wall. 

“Hey, we need to take that downstairs—ah,” Airi stops in her tracks as Shizuku pulls out a whole platter of wagashi from her bag. Checking the label on the sticker, it’s – oh, Shizuku.

“I didn’t want you to miss out, so I went back last night, and got some to take-away…” she says, sheepishly. Airi’s heart swells; she could just kiss the girl for how sweet she is (pun not intended).

“Shizuku, you really didn’t have to do that…” is what Airi says, but she’s fairly certain her face reveals just how delighted she is. They look really good, too – warabimochi, uiro, monaka, higashi and more – this must have been expensive. “Hey, how much do I owe you?”

“Not a thing!”, Shizuku frowns, clearly affronted at the concept of Airi paying her back. Ugh.

“Come on, that must have been expensive—” Ah, Airi’s a little weak under Shizuku’s stare. She folds her brow, and that’s just about it for her.

Airi sighs. “Okay, okay. Thank you, Shizuku. I’m really happy you got this for me. Honestly.”

That’s all it takes to turn Shizuku’s pout into a beaming smile – she pats the ground next to her, and Airi not-so-begrudgingly takes a seat, as they tuck into what Shizuku’s brought.

Shizuku really is such a sweetheart, Airi can’t help but think, as she bites into daifuku. Here she was, worrying about how upset Shizuku was, and all Shizuku was thinking about was how to make her happy. Her stomach churns at the thought – Airi’s still not sure she deserves this.

“Hey, Airi,” Shizuku speaks up, once the platter is mostly-eaten. “Can I tell you something? Will you promise you won’t laugh?”

Oh, there it is. So there was something on Shizuku’s mind, after all.

“Of course!” Airi thumps her chest. It’s quite literally the least she could do after Shizuku’s gone and been so sweet to her. “You know me, Shizuku. I’ll listen to whatever’s on your mind, promise.”

And yet, Shizuku seems unable to meet Airi’s eyes. Hey, is it really bothering you that much? Shizuku’s not really someone to get caught up on the small things, so what could be –

“Airi, I love you.”

Pff. “Yeah, yeah, I know, I know, I –” The look on Shizuku’s face stops her dead. She’s not sure what exactly she was expecting, but she wasn’t expecting wide eyes and flushed cheeks. “Shizuku…?”

“Airi, I love you,” Shizuku repeats, with the same expression. Airi’s tongue goes dry. Okay, okay, so she’s – she just means – “I really love you.” 

Ha, Shizuku’s being a little intense today, right…?

Airi finds herself backpedalling just a bit, scooching backwards until she hits the wall. Shizuku leans forward – her eyes are almost wet. No, this is definitely a little out of sorts for Shizuku, but surely she just – she just…

“I want us to be more than friends,” Shizuku says, and shatters any excuse Airi might have to think otherwise. Her heart might have stopped beating in her chest. She might have stopped breathing. She’s not entirely sure, because she just can’t stop staring at Shizuku’s face. “Do you…?”

Shizuku, the girl who cried on Airi’s shoulder after a string of mean comments. Shizuku, who hugs like a bear and smiles like the sun. Shizuku, who always tells Airi how much she loves her.

Shizuku, who always tells her how much she loves her.

The meaning of Ena’s text message comes home to roost. Airi may, in fact, be a fucking moron.

Shizuku hovers close enough to Airi’s face that she can feel her breath – ragged, shaky. Shizuku must be terrified right now; is this what yesterday was about? Is this what everything these last few months has been about?

“It’s,” Airi’s tongue feels like lead in her mouth. It’s hard to speak. “It’s not like I, um, don’t feel the same…” It’s such a weak response. She deserves something better than that, but…

“Then…!” A hesitant smile creeps its way onto Shizuku’s lips – Airi can see the light sparkle in her perfect, perfect aquamarine eyes. Her face falls, though, when Airi stops for breath. It’s like Airi can read every thought that crosses her mind. She doesn’t feel the same, but…?

“It’s just,” Oh, god. “It’s… me.” 

The parts that Airi hates most about herself seep out of her when she’s thrown this off-guard. She’s out of witty one-liners; she’s without comebacks; she doesn’t even have a crappy pun to make herself feel like she can salvage this. Shizuku’s confessing – confessing – and the first thing that comes out of Airi’s mouth is to put herself down. It’s…

“Mm,” Shizuku takes Airi’s hands in her own, and presses them gently to her lips. “It’s you. That’s the best part.”

Oh. She might cry, actually.

“How the hell can you say that with a straight face…?” Airi mumbles, burying her face in her knees. She doesn’t want Shizuku to look at her right now – not yet. She just needs a moment. “You’re so…”

“Hmmm?” Airi can’t see her, but she can hear the way Shizuku tilts her head, like a little puppy dog. She’s so cute it hurts. God. Is this real? 

“Okay,” Airi nods, into herself. “Okay. Sorry, I just – I just needed a sec.”

“That’s okay,” Shizuku says, in the softest voice ever, with the most patient expression ever. That only makes Airi’s chest tighten more. Why can’t she be normal about this? 

“I,’ Airi measures her words carefully, “like you a lot, obviously.” Shizuku perks up again, excited. Ugh. Airi wants nothing more than to pet her head and ruffle her hair. She’s so cute.

“I would,” she swallows, thickly, “Also like to be more than friends.” She bites her tongue before she can add an ‘if you’re okay with that’. Shizuku might pout again, and that might kill her for real. This is definitely, like, the least cool response to a confession anyone in history has ever made, but it’s dire straits out here. Airi’s heart might burst before she can think of anything cooler.

Shizuku beams, and clasps her hands together. “Yay!” 

Pff. Maybe it’s better this way. Shizuku is a bit of a goofball at heart, even if she can spout some killer lines and make Airi’s heart skip more than just a few beats, so… well, it is what it is. It’s not like Airi was prepared to be confessed to on the school rooftop, of all places. 

Shizuku’s face comes startlingly close all of a sudden, and Airi has to reflexively clamp her hand over Shizuku’s mouth to stop from happening what’s about to happen.

“Whoa, whoa – time out!” Airi panics; Shizuku draws back, and pouts.

“But, I thought…” Shizuku stares at her knees, “…that’s what you do, once you’re dating… I’ve wanted to do it for so long.”

It might be a miracle if Airi makes it off this rooftop without suffering cardiac arrest, actually. That’s so – she’s so… Airi buries her face in my hands.

“I just,” she’s stumbling over her words, again, “I’m not prepared, okay – I can’t look at your gorgeous face that close without losing functionality in all of my brain cells.”

“Looking at me is the issue?” Shizuku cocks her head. 

“Kind of,” Airi mumbles, “You’re just so… I think you’re so, so beautiful, and it scrambles me up a bit, Shizuku. Cut me some slack, okay?”

“Then…” Shizuku brings her hand up to Airi’s eyes, and covers them, like a blindfold. Suddenly, Airi can’t see a thing. “What about this? Is this okay?”

It… might be. It might be. Airi thinks her whole body might be shaking, but…

“It’s… okay.” She consents, quietly. She’s not sure if she’s telling the truth but she might, in fact, want this – maybe – if it’s okay, if it’s –

Shizuku’s lips short-circuit any sort of thought pattern she might have had. Her lips are a little dry. They’re really soft. That’s about everything Airi can think before it’s over.

Shizuku pulls away and immediately curls up into a ball, face completely flushed. 

“You’re acting sheepish now…? Listen, you,” Airi says, as if she has any room to talk whatsoever.

“How…” Shizuku mumbles into her knees, “…was it?”

She’s so stupid cute. Airi scoots behind her – like Shizuku always does to her, and wraps her arms around the girl, so her cheek rests against Shizuku’s shoulder.

“Warm,” she settles on, for lack of any other way to describe it, “It was warm.”

“I’m glad…” Shizuku giggles, face still buried in her knees. They stay like that, for a moment.

When Shizuku unfurls from her ball, her face is a little less bright pink, and Airi’s heartbeat has slowed down to something a little less overwhelming. 

“So,” Airi swirls the water in her drink bottle. “You’ve been a little off for like, months now. Is that what this was about?”

“Ah,” Shizuku stares at her feet. She’s still hugging her legs, even now. “I thought you might notice. Yes, I… actually, I planned to tell you yesterday. Mizuki and Ena helped me out with planning it – they thought telling you at a café might be nicer than the rooftop, and mentioned the one at the mall.”

Oh, and it all comes together. So Ena, that rat, was in on it from the very beginning. Figures. Airi rests her head in her hands. God damn it, girl.

“I’m… so sorry,” It’s almost impressive how stupid she’s been. “If I’d known, then, I… well, I guess I wouldn’t have known.”

Shizuku laughs, something soft and quiet. “I wasn’t sure what to do after that. I thought you just might not be interested, but – well, Ena said I should try again for sure, and then I remembered that Minori had to leave practice early. You always offer to stay if I volunteer to clean-up, so I thought I’d have another opportunity today.”

The flush is still pink in Shizuku cheeks as Airi realises just how thoroughly she’s been played, from start to finish. Is she really that easy? Has Shizuku got her wrapped around her little finger that much?

“Ugh…” Airi buries her head in her knees again. “Much as I’m loath to admit it, Ena really pulled through for me, huh.”

“Mmhmm! She was very helpful,” Shizuku nods, a warm smile playing on her lips, “Mizuki too. I’ll have to thank them properly later.”

“We can both do that. I owe them just as much – actually, scratch that, I owe them more than you.”

Shizuku laughs a little fuller this time. Still, there’s more to worry about.

“I guess,” Airi thumbs her chin, “That just leaves Haruka. I’m… a little concerned how she might react.”

“Oh, don’t worry!” Shizuku sits up straight, “We can hide it from her, if we need to.”

“Yeah, I think she’s gonna find out anyway…” Airi shakes her head, “Even the best actors are gonna slip up eventually. I just hope she’s not too mad.”

Shizuku’s still beaming, though. “I’m sure it’ll work out, somehow. I bet Minori will be excited.”

“Yeah…” Too excited, probably. That’s… a problem for tomorrow, though. “Hey, we should probably get going, huh? Don’t want to get locked up here.”

Shizuku leaps to her feet, frantic. Airi has to wonder if she forgot that was a possibility in the first place. This girl…

They clean up quickly – Airi is guilted into taking home their leftovers, so she can share them with her sisters, at least – and get back to doing what they were actually supposed to be doing – you know, putting the camera away?

Shizuku grabs the tripod, and Airi grabs the camera case. Then, she holds out her right hand. Shizuku stares at her for a second, before beaming at her, happy as can be – and takes it.

ena: You’re welcome.
airi: yeah, yeah, jackass. you were right. shizuku and i’s treat whenever all four of us are free next.
ena: ✌️

Shizuku volunteers to go refill their water bottles; it’s been warm, so they’ve been drinking a lot. It’s when she vanishes that Airi goes and takes a seat next to Haruka, as casually as she can. This could go either really well, or really poorly. Both she and Shizuku agreed it was best if Airi handled this conversation, so – well, here goes nothing.

“Oh, by the way, Haruka, I wanted to talk to you about something,” Airi says, ever-so-careful to not betray anything in the tone of her voice.

“Oh, about you and Shizuku dating? Congratulations, by the way.”

Well. Okay. Cool.

“Uh,” Airi isn’t sure what in the hell she’s supposed to respond with, here. “Thanks.”

“Of course,” Haruka smiles, like she always does.

“You’re not… concerned…?” Airi furrows her brow, frowns. This is a little too easy, isn’t it…?

“Mm, I think it’ll be a little difficult to conceal from our fans, but there are ways we can leverage that sort of fanservice to our advantage,” Haruka says, smiling. Always smiling. Ugh, figures she’d say something like that. At least she’s amenable to the idea, Airi supposes. “And, since you two have crossed the line about that, it means I don’t have to hold back anymore either.”

Airi raises an eyebrow. “You don’t…?”

Without responding, Haruka stands up and walks over to Minori.

“Minori, can you tilt your head up for me?”

“Hm? Sure, okay—mmmmm!??”

Haruka quickly, swiftly, and completely casually kisses Minori on the lips, then tosses Airi a knowing, winning smile.

Huh. 

It takes a moment for it all to process, but Airi realises she’s been upstaged.

“Minori? What happened?” Shizuku comes back with impeccable timing; she’s baffled. Haruka does nothing to clarify the situation. Minori’s bluescreened.

Maybe… maybe Shizuku isn’t the one Airi should be worried about. 

After all, it takes four clowns to make a More More Circus.