Chapter Text
“You stink! Why aren’t you like Fizzarolli?”
Blitzo took a breath and desperately attempted to suppress the urge to punt the snot nosed brat in front of him into the sun. He wanted to, oh did he fucking want to, but he also neededd this job and that meant playing nice. For just one fucking day he’d love it if the tiny shits in the park didn’t remind him of how undesirable he was compared to his robotic coworker.
Blitzo put on his best stage smile and knelt down. “Well my buddy Fizz is super busy with important clown work. But, maybe I can help you out instead! Would you like a balloon animal?”
The child responded by kicking Blitzo in the shins, hard. Blitzo stumbled to the ground, holding his shin and cursing loudly. The little bastard blew a raspberry and ran away before the older imp had the chance to recover and give chase. Blitz rose to his feet and grumbled under his breath. He checked his watch. 5pm? Satan’s fucking foreskin he wanted the next two hours to be OVER WITH.
The clown limped back to his cart. It was fully stocked with everything someone would need to provide the masses with cheap, shitty, rubber bastardizations of common fauna. Not that anyone actually asked him for anything. They either wanted to know where the bathroom was or when the “real clown” was going to perform. Most days he just mindlessly pushed the cart around Loo Loo Land until his shift was up. Today he got to do it with a limp . Fucking yippee.
“Excuse me! You! Clown man! Come over here, we have need of you!”
Blitz flinched at the piercing voice that cut through the air. Whoever this lady was, she sounded…fancy. Maybe a noble? Oh great, this was going to be so fucking fun wasn't it. Alright Blitzo, game face. Do whatever this lady wants and you can go find a dark corner to sulk in until you’re off.
“Welcome to Loo Loo Land! How can I be of assist…”
Blitzo trailed off, eyes going wide and jaw going slack as he turned around to face who addressed him. Standing right there in front of him next to a VERY pompous looking lady was fucking Stolas Ars Goetia . The little prince he had been…hired…to play with and then subsequently tasked with robbing blind. Holy fucking SHIT! What was HE doing here?
“Mummy, Daddy can we please just go home?”
That question was answered by another, much younger voice. Blitzo looked between the two nobles and saw a small girl, her hand holding Stolas’ tightly. Their daughter, he guessed. She was about 7 years old, Blitzo guessed, and was clearly not having a good time. A frown split her face and she looked hot, tired, and very irritated. Oh great! Maybe this one will kick him in the NUTS this time.
“Just one moment dear,” Stolas said. His voice was…melodic. Pleasant Almost entirely unlike his wife’s(?). “We’ll just take a quick picture and then be on our way. Would you be willing to take a picture of us?”
That question was directed at Blitzo. It seemed like the prince didn’t recognize him, thank fuck. The imp turned to the prince to answer and took a moment to really size him up. First, he was tall. Too fucking tall. Like, 9 feet tall. Second, he looked almost exactly like Blitzo remembered him. The white faceplate, the freaky second pair of eyes above his face, the gray-blue feathers that covered his body. Yup that was Stolas alright. Still, he had definitely grown into his figure. Maturity had aged him gracefully.
He was fucking HOT .
Wait where the fuck did that come from? Blitzo shook his head slightly, also realizing that he had been staring at Stolas in silence for like 15 seconds instead of responding to his question.
“Uh, sure, yeah I’ll take a picture of you.”
“Oh splendid!” Stolas hooted out. “Come here Stella, Octavia. Let's squeeze in so we fit in the frame.”
Stolas levitated (fucking levitated!) a camera over to Blitzo, who awkwardly grabbed it from the air and pointed it at the family. Stolas put on a smile that was far, far too wide while Stella and Octavia both looked incredibly dour. Poor guy was trying way too hard and getting nothing.
“Alright everyone, say Loo Loo.”
Only Stolas followed the instruction, and Blitzo snapped the picture. He was about to hand the camera back before the damned thing spat out a genuine polaroid of all things. Satan, were these people from the 1800s?
“Can we go now?” the child asked/whined.
“Yes Stolas can we?” The noblewoman also asked. “This place reeks of the plebeians, I want to go home and wash it off of me.”
Wow, what an asshole.
“Just a moment Octavia,” Stolas said, directing his attention to his daughter. So she was Octavia then, Blitzo assumed. “We need to wait for the photo to develop so we know it looks good!”
Octavia looked like she was about to burst into tears, and Blitzo did not want to deal with a crying child right now. He needed to keep her occupied for a few minutes. Alright, time to actually do his job.
“Hey there sweetheart!” Blitzo said with as chipper a voice as he could muster. The girl looked at him with a surprised look on her face, and Blitzo pushed forward. “You’re daddy right here is a prince, right? So that would make you a princess, right?”
Octavia blinked a couple of times before awkwardly answering. “Y-yes?”
“Well it's an honor, your majesty.” Blitzo gave her a deep bow, going low enough that his horns scraped against the ground. Snapping back up like a spring, he knelt down and leaned in, whispering in her ear. “Between you and me, you’re the prettiest princess in the whole park.”
A small smile appeared on Octavias’ face. “Really?”
“Yeah really!” Blitzo said, before suddenly putting on an overly serious face. “But, you’re missing something very important for a princess.”
“W-what? I am?” Octavia looked down, inspecting herself in a slight panic.
Before the panic could develop into anything serious Blitzo put his smile back one before loudly declaring, “You’re missing your crown!”
With a smooth and practiced motion the clown pulled a long balloon from his belt and inflated it with a single breath. In front of a mesmerized Octavia he deftly twisted the balloon around, contorting it into an evermore complex shape. After around 30 seconds he finished, and with a flourish he fell to one knee and presented his creation to the young owlette deferentially.
“Your crown, your majesty.”
Octavia looked at the balloon crown with awe before clapping her hands excitedly.
“Thank you Mr. Clown.” She took the crown from him and put it on her head.
It fit perfectly, and Blitzo let himself feel a twinge of pride at getting the measurement right on the fly. She looked up at the crown on her head before squinting at something.
“What is that?” Octavia pointed at the ornament Blitzo had included on the crown.
“Oh that? That's a horse!” Blitzo said enthusiastically. “Horses are the most regal and noble of creatures, perfect for a regal and noble princess like you.”
Octavia beamed. “I love it!”:
“As you should! Horses make everything better, don’t let the neeeigh-sayers tell you otherwise.”
Stella groaned in annoyance at the pun, but much to Blitzo’s surprise Octavia (and Stolas) let out a genuine laugh. The imp felt a smile blossom on his face. At least someone appreciated his masterful comedy.
“Oh look, the photo is finished, come along now Octavia.”
Stella strode forward and grabbed Octavia’s hand before marching towards the exit. The child stumbled after her mother and waved at Blitzo as she was pulled away.
“Bye Mr. Clown! Thank you for the crown!.”
Blitzo waved back at the girl. She was the first kid he ran into that didn’t hate his guts for not being Fizz. Which made her his favorite, by default maybe but his favorite nonetheless.
“Thank you Blitzo, It's nice to see Octavia smile after a bit of a rough day.”
“Oh it's no problem Stol-”
Blitzo froze in shock at the realization that Stolas did, in fact, recognize him. He looked up at the prince. Stolas was looking at him with a smile on his face, and Blitzo felt his heart skip a beat.
He’s really Hot
‘Shut the fuck up brain.’
“It's nice to see you after such a long time. How have you been?”
Blitzo was taken aback by the question. Why would Stolas care how we had been? “Oh…uh…I’ve been…fine?”
Stolas opened his mouth to respond before a screeching voice filled the air.
“Stolas! Hurry up or I’m making the chauffeur leave you here!”
The prince grimaced for a moment before giving Blitzo a wry smile.
“Duty calls. Have a good day Blitzo.”
The prince walked away before Blitzo could respond, and the clown was left standing alone by his cart again. After a minute of him processing all that had just happened he let out an incredulous laugh and shook his head. All in all, that was probably the best interaction he had with a guest since he started working at this shithole. With a bit more energy in his step, he pushed his cart towards his favorite hiding place.
A part of him was worried that Stolas recognized him. He did steal like a few hundred thousand souls worth of random crap from him when they were kids. But the prince hadn’t seemed too upset and he shrugged the feeling off. Whatever. It wasn’t like he was ever going to see him again.
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“Did you have a good day Octavia?” Stolas asked as he tucked his daughter into bed.
“Yes daddy,” she said, eyes looking fondly at the slightly deflated balloon crown on her nightstand.
“That's wonderful to hear starfire. I’m happy you enjoyed yourself.”
“I liked Mr. Clown.” Octavia yawned and snuggled into her covers. “I’d like to..see..him..again…”
She had drifted off, and Stolas planted a soft kiss on her forehead before leaving the room.
“Me too dear, me too.”
It had been a shock, seeing his old friend Blitzo at the amusement park. He had wondered what had happened to the imp after their wonderful day together. Paimon never let him return to the circus, it was “too beneath him” to go to such a place more than once. By the time he was old enough to move freely the circus had long since disappeared, and Stolas never was able to track Blitzo down. He had accepted that he would likely never see his first and only friend ever again, much as it saddened him.
But apparently fate had other options. Blitzo working at Loo Loo Land? What were the odds? …Not that low now that Stolas thought about it, given that Blitzo was a performer. Whatever, he had the chance to meet with him again. Blitzo looked so much different as an adult (And he had aged well. There was no way it was legal for someone to look that good in clown makeup). Stolas had wanted to talk longer but it was best to not push things with Stella when she was already in a bad mood. Oh well, they would have plenty of time to catch up when he took Octavia back to Loo Loo Land, preferably without his wife.
With a flick of his wrist he summoned a phone and dialed the Loo Loo Land customer service number. After waiting what was frankly an unacceptable amount of time he was finally patched through with an agent.
“Hello? I was wondering if you could give me details on your season passes.”