Chapter Text
Tony Stark was not afraid of dying.
Truly, he wasn’t. So when he snapped his fingers holding all the infinity stones in his hand he knew that death was a possibility but he also knew that he’d do anything to give Pepper, Morgan and the Spiderkid an opportunity to continue to live in a world where they could be safe. Safe to live, safe to grow, safe to thrive.
So Tony Stark snapped his fingers and accepted death like an old friend, feeling the ghost of Pepper’s lips on his cheek right before he died. It was worth it. The world was saved, Thanos was no more. Tony could rest.
So when his eyes snapped open and he hit himself with the window of what seemed to be a small plane, he was very confused. Running his hand through what seemed to be long hair was downright baffling and the fact that the speakers of the plane mentioned that he’d be touching down in Seattle of all places was just wrong.
An hour after waking up and having a small meltdown in the ladies’ bathroom of all places, Tony waiting for his next plane. Because of course Seattle wasn’t his final destination. No, according to Tony’s plane ticket he was going to somewhere called Forks… which sounded strangely familiar.
So to recap. Tony Stark, Iron Man… had died after wielding the infinity stones and had woken up as a teenage girl named Isabella Marie Swan who was on her way to some place called Forks in Washington. He had a small flip phone on his person and according to the date on his plane ticket the date was the 17th of January of 2005. The world must’ve hated him.
All in all, it was not as bad. Tony was not used to being a teenage girl, but he could pretend it was all a fake it till you make it with him and until he knew more about this girl, he’d be running in the dark. When he got on the plane he rummaged through his bag, finding a diary and smiling to himself as he cracked it open and began reading about what was now his life.
It took it less than twenty minutes to decide that Bella’s life sucked. It sucked real bad, the girl had the personality of a wet rug and it showed, even in her personal diary. But then again, Tony had been presented with the perfect opportunity to change it.
He was moving in with the girl’s dad, a man who saw her only once a year and had no way of knowing how much of a personality ‘Bella’ had developed over the last couple of months. So if Isabella was suddenly going to become incredibly interested in cars and such, it was Tony’s business. The diary was very helpful, since he now knew the name of his new dad. A police chief named Charlie Swan. There was even a photo of the man stuck somewhere in the diary, with a younger Bella in a fishing boat.
Tony had to admit that he was very proud of the mustache that Charlie sported and silently mourned his own beard. He was never going to be able to grow a beard again… which sucked, but he’d deal with it… eventually.
He spotted Charlie almost immediately as he walked out of the gate pushing his small trolley. It was weird answering to the name Bells, but Tony decided that Charlie was actually a nice man who was trying his best to be a good father and that was golden in Tony’s book. Surprisingly on their way back to Forks from Port Angeles, Tony found himself talking to Charlie about cars.
The man seemed surprised by Bella’s new interest in cars, but was more than happy to keep the conversation flowing, especially when Tony told him that he was planning on opening his own mechanic shop in Forks. Because Tony Stark was nothing if not adaptable and he needed a stable income, pronto.
So Tony Stark had a plan, he’d finish this year of schooling by actually entirely finishing schooling while planning on going on college. Although that plan changed ever so slightly when he saw Charlie’s face falling at the idea of Tony leaving so soon after finally moving in. So again, Tony was adaptable… and getting attached way too soon. But he was going to finish school, open his mechanic shop and stay in Forks with Charlie. Who needed a college degree anyways? Not Tony Motherfukcing Stark anyway.
All in all, Tony should have been more observant of his surroundings, but to be fair he had been distracted with the whole dying and waking up as a teenage girl in a different world where Tony Stark didn’t exist as a person and dial up internet connection was still a thing (he hated it). He also had several things in mind, like actually fixing up the piece of scrap that masqueraded as a red pickup truck and selling it forward to get a decent car, setting up his Mechanic Shop and figuring out how Charlie’s coffee thing worked.
Because that had been a conversation. Tony didn’t know how to cook anything other than slightly burnt eggs… Charlie was a very basic person when it came to food. So Tony could easily see the two of them living on cereal and coffee… which was not ideal, so he also needed to sort that out.
The sound that the pickup truck made as Tony drove himself to school that morning grated on his nerves. He really needed to get around fixing it, if only he could get the proper tools, he’d have to add scavenging to his ever growing list of things to do. So when he found a parking space and finally turned off the red beast he enjoyed the silence. He’d also need to see if Charlie had any decent cassette tapes. Maybe Charlie was a fan of decent music.
Tony made his way into the main office cursing the rain and the cold under his breath and then proceeded to charm the secretary into allowing him to test out most of the syllabus. Tony Stark wouldn’t spend more than the necessary time in school, thank you very much. So Mrs. Cope had been helpful to set him a schedule so that she could talk to the teachers so that he could be tested and see which subjects he could drop (hopefully all of them).
With his timetable in hand Tony proceeded to avoid students and make it to his first class of the day. It seemed that everyone and their mother knew about Bella Swan arriving in Forks. And it also seemed that the school was so small that everyone knew what to look for and while Bella Swan was as pale as any kid in the school she was technically new blood.
Tony being Tony knew how to deal with people, so he effortlessly waved off the students that tried to approach him. Class was as boring as Tony figured it would be, so he had extra motivation to get the hell out. By the time he walked into the cafeteria for recess and was ushered into a table by a girl named … Jasmine, or something like that. Jasmine was a chatterbox and Tony was more than happy to remain silent and allowed her to fill the space with her voice.
“And there’s the Cullens.”
Tony’s brain came to a stop as something seemed to connect, a memory resurfacing from one of his conversations with Peter. It had been something that Peter did, ramble on about all the things. And the kid was always talking about new media, so Tony could remember names and things. Cullen had been something that Peter had mentioned.
“Sorry, what?”
“The Cullens, Doctor Cullen’s family,” Jasmine explained and proceeded to explain everything she knew about the Cullen family, much to Tony’s growing horror.
It made no sense. It made absolutely no sense and yet… Tony had basically discovered time travel, he had saved the world using magical rocks from space, he was friends with a demigod. So… suddenly realizing that he was stuck in one of the stories that Peter used to read. So Tony came to the bitter realization that yes, his life was possibly a joke.
His life was a joke and now there were teenage vampires in it… and furries, if he recalled correctly. He eyed the table where the vampires were seated and tried to remember all of the things that Peter had complained about. He remembered that Peter was firmly Team Edward, that much Tony remembered. Peter had complained enough about Edward being a toxic boyfriend to Bella, who was now Tony.
So Tony knew that he’d keep himself firmly away from the toxic vampire. He was Tony Stark, he didn’t do teen drama. He left the cafeteria before lunch ended and made his way back to the main office to speak to Mrs. Cope because he did remember Peter complaining about Edward wanting to kill Bella in biology class and Tony had biology class after recess and he was not going to die, if only because Charlie had just recently gotten his daughter back and Tony would be damned before he left the kind man alone in the world.
Mrs. Cope was hilariously easy to charm and Tony briefly wondered about the state of America’s education system, but he didn’t care much for it as he drove out of the parking lot, because there was no way that he’d be taking a gym class ever again in life. Ever.
Before driving back home Tony remembered that Charlie had asked him to stop by the supermarket and had actually given Tony money for it. Thing is, for the life of him, Tony couldn’t remember ever having to go to a supermarket… but how hard could it possibly be?
Turns out that it was really hard. There were many brands and many things and Tony was completely lost trying to decide which brand of canned tuna was best because apparently it came in water and oil and Tony wasn’t sure which one was best. Why would you need two types of canned tuna anyway? And don’t even get him starting on washing products, there was a whole aisle full of those.
Tony wondered if Thor had ever felt this way while living on Earth. Because Tony felt like a fish out of water in the worst sense. He was about to give up and just go home and try later when a kind voice got him out of his thoughts. He looked to his side only to see a really beautiful woman that strangely reminded him of his mother (Maria Stark that was) in all of her elegant glory. And then he noticed her eyes, golden eyes. Another vampire, maybe from the same vampire family that was in school… Vampire mom? There was a mom, possibly.
“Do you need any help?” Vampire mom asked.
Tony nodded at her, first because he did need help and second because he figured that Vampire mom was safe to meet rather than a toxic teen vampire.
“I really have no idea what I’m doing,” Tony admitted, “but I can’t disappoint the old man,” he laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head.
“Do you have a list?” Vampire mom asked.
“Uh, yeah, here you go,” Tony said, handing his crumpled list to vampire mom. He hoped that she could read his chicken scratch.
As it turned out, Vampire Mom could read his list and was very helpful, explaining to Tony the different products and the food he had chosen. He had bashfully admitted that he and Charlie couldn’t cook, hence all the canned and premade food. Vampire Mom, whose name was Esme, was a godsend and reminded Tony way too much of Maria. Not that he’d tell her, but it was pretty nostalgic to see her.
“I’m finishing school early,” Tony said to Charlie when the man sat down at the kitchen table, opening the bags from the diner.
Tony had already dug into his burger and was staring at Charlie trying to gauge the man's reaction.
“What?” Charlie asked, looking at Tony.
“I’m testing out the rest of the grade and senior year too… I don’t like school… at all, so I’m going to test it out and just focus on my mechanic shop. It's going to be the best one in all of Forks, so there’s that.”
“And college?” Charlie asked curiously.
“Don’t need a college degree to fix a car, dad,” Tony said, barely even hesitating at using the word dad, “By the way do you have any tools I could use to fix up the truck, it has an irritating noise that’s driving me insane.”
“Tell you what, Bells, Jacob wants to be a mechanic and has a workshop in the back of his house, why don’t you drive down to La Push after school tomorrow and go to Billy’s house?”
“Uh… I don’t really remember where Billy’s house is,” Tony replied.
“How about I take you there on the weekend then?”
Tony smiled at the man, “sounds great.”
“Are you sure you can test out of school, Bells?” Charlie asked after a while.
“Of course I can,” Tony said smugly.
Charlie didn’t look entirely enthusiastic but didn’t try to contradict Tony. That night Tony spent the rest of his time messing up with the outdated computer and began the base file for JARVIS’ code, because Tony could have been stuck in a strange world with Vampires and such, there was no way he was going to miss the opportunity to bring Jarvis online to take over the internet while it was still under development.
The week was long, but Tony managed to get a schedule with all the tests that he’d be taking along with being allowed to skip the classes for self study in the small library of the school, which meant unlimited access to the school computers, which Tony made use of. By the time the week was over Tony had a rough version of Jarvis’ full code and had tested out of three school subjects.
He was also surprised to have remembered that Jacob was the furry that was in a love triangle with Bella and the toxic vampire, so he also needed to deal with that in a timely manner.