Chapter Text
Jason didn’t like the Tower.
They’d been there a week already and he knew from that very first day that it was the worst place ever. Everything was too shiny, too new. He felt like if he broke something, he’d be paying off the cost of it for the rest of his life. He didn’t like how small Bucky made himself and how he smiled less. He didn’t like Steve hanging around talking about the past, ignoring how it made Bucky get even smaller. He didn’t like Stark and his stupid talking building, or his fancy lady friend who looked like the type of rich person that would have called the cops on Jason in a heartbeat if she saw him near her.
He didn’t like how Stark had laughed at his red laptop, offering to improve it, when it was the nicest thing anyone had ever bought Jason. He definitely didn’t like how Bucky’s shoulder caved in on themselves when Stark had said that. He didn’t like Stark’s stupid names for him and the way he wouldn’t let Clint bring Lucky over.
And no one would let them leave.
Apparently it was too dangerous.
But he was from Gotham, and Bucky was the Winter Soldier. They’d be fine. Jason missed their walks after lunch, and their afternoon adventures when Bucky made him stop studying. Now all they could do was wander the Tower, and be told by the talking voice where they couldn’t go. Which seemed to be everywhere.
Jason hated it.
“Bucky,” he whined, the third time Jarvis had said they couldn’t go to the rooftop garden because it wasn’t safe. Like safe how? Were they afraid they’d both jump? That Bucky would suddenly become a different person and throw Jason over the edge? At this point, he might welcome it. Except for the part where he went splat. “I hate it here,” he said as he leaned into Bucky’s body.
“I know, pal.” Bucky ran his hands through Jason’s hair, picking apart any knots in his curls. “They’re gonna have to let us out eventually.”
“Sergeant Barnes, Mr Todd is allowed to leave at any time,” Jarvis said. “It is you that is not permitted.”
Jason glared up at the ceiling, resting his chin on Bucky’s stomach. “One, no one invited you into this conversation. Two, if Bucky can’t leave, I’m not leaving, and three, fuck off.”
“Jaybug, remember how we’re trying not to curse.”
He stuck his tongue out. “Butt out,” he said to the ceiling instead.
“Good enough,” Bucky said with a grin. “What if I ask Clint to take you to his apartment block? You can see Lucky. Nat would probably go too.”
“I’m not leaving you.”
Bucky crouched down in front of him and put his hands on his shoulders. If anyone else did that to him, Jason would push them over and kick them. But when Bucky did it, it made him feel safe. “Jay, pal, nothing is going to happen to me if you go out. I’ll still be here when you come back.”
“No. You’re as bored as me, Buck. I’m not going to go have fun without you. That’s not fair.” He wrapped his hands around Bucky’s wrist. He liked how hard the metal one was and how warm the other one was. “Just because Stark is a bully who’s throwing his weight around doesn’t mean that we have to give in.”
“I can assure you, sir is just trying to protect you to the best of his ability.”
Jason frowned, pissed off and tired with it. “Do you not understand a private conversation? Are you recording us? Gonna go back to Stark and rat us out?”
Jarvis did not reply.
Jason stuck his tongue out at the ceiling again. “Let’s go to the common room.” Their apartment was safer, because there was no Jarvis, but he was so sick of being stuck in there. “Clint said he was going to watch a film, and Nat is back from her mission today, right? She said she was. Maybe we could bake something,” he said hopefully.
“Cookies?”
Jason nodded as casually as he could.
Bucky had started to teach him how to cook on their third day here, and he loved it. He loved anything Bucky was willing to do with him but cooking meant safety, meant having something to eat always, meant being able to look after himself.
Baking meant desserts, and Jason was never going to say no to that.
“But we’re not sharing with Steve or Stark.”
Bucky laughed. “You gotta forgive them at some point, bud.”
“Not until Stark is nicer to you,” he said stubbornly. “And Steve has to make it up to us. Which might be never,” he said seriously. “I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive him.”
“Whatever makes you happy.” He wrapped his arm around Jason’s shoulder and let him lean into him. “You know it’ll get easier here, right?”
He shrugged. “Maybe. When they’re nicer to you.”
“You gotta let them be nice to you too.”
Jason scowled. “No. Only you and Clint and Nat. That’s already so many people.” Three whole adults looking out for him was more than Jason had had in his entire life. He didn’t need anyone else. “C’mon. If we don’t make cookies, I’m going to go back to my school stuff.”
Bucky picked him up and threw him over his shoulder, racing down the hallway. “Can’t have that, Jaybug. Your brain will melt out of your ears.”
Jason couldn’t help giggling as he was rocked back and forth in Bucky’s hold.
***
Stark stared at them when they walked into the common room and Jason felt the smile fall from his face. He was sitting at the table, tablet in front of him as he reeled off figures into the air. He must have been telling them to ceiling dude but Jason just thought it made him look like one of the homeless people he would sometimes see talking to themselves as they walked down the street.
Clint was nowhere to be seen; he probably got bored and went to the shooting range, another place Bucky wasn’t allowed to go, or back to his own apartment in the actual city that had an awesome dog and no ceiling snitch.
Jason glared at Stark. “Did your robot spy rat us out?”
Stark raised an eyebrow at him. “Jarvis is not a spy, or a robot. He’s an AI. What are they teaching you in that online school on that terrible laptop?”
Jason wanted to stamp his foot, he was so frustrated. “Artificial Intelligence is trained by humans which means that human biases are built into their programming. ‘Jarvis’,” he said with inverted commas, “was programmed by a man who does not like or trust my primary caregiver.”
He'd just learned that term the other day when googling and he liked it a lot. Having a primary caregiver implied he had more than one person who cared about him, but specifically that he had one person who cared more about him than anyone else did.
“He has access to us at all times except our apartment, maybe, and he reports back everything to you,” he continued. “The moral impla… imple… implications of that are pretty fu—” he glanced over at Bucky and grimaced, “fudging serious. That is a cop, a snitch, and someone who controls the whole damn building wrapped into one. So fudge you and fudge your snobbery and your stupid fudging robot.”
He stomped away from Stark’s open mouth and walked over to where Bucky was grinning proudly. “Just because I’m alley trash doesn’t mean I don't have a goddamn brain. You really think I didn’t research AI when we were forced to move into this prison?”
Stark rolled his eyes. “This isn’t a prison.”
“Is Bucky allowed to leave?”
“Well, no but—”
“No buts about it. That makes it a prison.” He climbed up on the stool Bucky had pulled out for him and grinned up at him. “Okay, Buck. Let’s make white chocolate and raspberry cookies.”
Bucky leaned forward and gave him a forehead kiss. “Alright, kid. Let's try them.”
Stark made a noise behind them but Jason ignored him. He decided that if he just pretended that Stark wasn’t there, then he would disappear and leave them both alone.
The kitchen made Jason angry because he actually liked it. He hadn’t known that kitchens like this even existed. He didn’t fit into a place like this and he so desperately wanted to. He hated that. Hated feeling so pathetic.
The apartment he had lived in with his mom and Willis had been shitty long before they started renting it, and it didn’t get better as time passed. Mold grew in black clouds across the roof, and everything smelled of damp and rot. Rats scurried in the walls. Cockroaches crawled out of every little nook. The countertops were thin MDF that chipped and cracked under the tiniest bit of pressure. It had a hob that didn’t work and an oven that only worked sometimes. The fridge groaned and moaned when someone opened it.
No one ever cooked in it.
Except in the shitty microwave that only sometimes made the food warm.
This place had never been shitty a day in its life.
The Tower’s kitchen had black counters of smooth granite with red appliances that shone in the bright lights. Red doors with black dots held all the ingredients they could ever want. It was pretty and nice and he loved it and hated that he did.
He ignored the complicated emotions that didn’t quite fit inside his body because Bucky was smiling at him again while he measured out the flour.
Jason smiled back, because even when he felt bad and scared and unsure, being around Bucky made it better. “Now what, Buck?”
“Gotta get those wet ingredients ready, pal. You think you can do that?”
“Definitely,” he said with a grin.
They were mixing the ingredients all together when Clint came back from the shooting range with a clatter of noise; tripping over his own feet, grabbing the counter to stop himself, knocking the fruit bowl over and then falling over when he tried to catch all the fruit.
Jason laughed and laughed.
Cint jumped up with the grace of an acrobat which was weird considering how gracelessly he had fallen. “Jaybaby. Bucky bear,” he said, cheerfully. “Are those cookies?”
Jason shook his head. “Nope,” he said, popping the p. “These are not the drones you are looking for.” He waved his hand out.
“I knew you would love those films,” Clint said with a grin. “But seriously, let me have some cookies. I did a workout and I shot a bunch of targets and Katie Kate has Lucky because someone won't let him in the Tower so I’m sad.” He was filling up a giant cup with coffee as he talked but he made sure to turn around and show Jason just how devastated he was.
“I am literally allergic to dogs,” Stark grumbled from the table.
Jason giggled at Clint and ignored Stark. “Fine. You can have one.”
Clint grinned and swallowed down most of the coffee in his cup before refilling it.
“You’re going to give yourself a heart attack,” Bucky said, greasing up a tray as he did. “Nat said I was meant to limit your caffeine intake while she was away.”
“No, no, no,” Clint replied. “She said make sure I get my caffeine intake. Because otherwise I do not function as a human.”
“I don’t think that’s right,” Bucky replied with a wink at Jason. “But I have memory issues so what do I know?”
Clint pointed a finger at him. “You, sir, are a good man.”
Jason grinned. “Okay. You can have two cookies.”
Clint cheered, stepped by Bucky and picked Jason up, spinning him around until the room was a blur.
“Stop that,” Bucky said. “You’ll make him sick.”
Clint put Jason down on the counter, and held his arms to steady him. “Good?”
Jason nodded, still grinning. “I’m dizzy.”
“Well, this is all very cute, but some of us have actual work to do,” Stark said, standing up with his tablet. “You know to provide for you all to live in this incredible building rent-free.”
“If it’s such an issue, Stark,” Jason said as snotty as possible even though his head spun and the world spun and he was pretty sure he was going to fall off the counter. “Me and Buck will go live in Clint’s building and then you won’t have to complain about how hard you have to work.”
Stark snorted. “We’re not letting the murder puppy visit the park until we know he won’t bite the other dogs.” He tilted his head to the side. “No, wait. I can do better than that. Less shitty. We’re not letting the Murderbot out until he is confirmed to be programmed to our side.”
Jason hated how Buck tensed at the words. “Fuck you, Stark,” he said. “You don’t even work hard. We all know you handed your company over to your PA to run, and that your wealth is generational, and that your weapons were used to kill more people than I can even count.”
“Jason,” Bucky said sharply. “C’mon, buddy. You can’t speak to him like that.”
“No,” Jason said, fierce and angry. “He doesn’t get to keep being mean to you and then get away with it because what? I hurt his feelings?” Jason rolled the cookies into balls, and enjoyed the gobsmacked expression on Stark's face. “What? It’s almost like my piece of junk laptop still has access to the internet and the ability to search for someone.”
“Alright, Jay. That’s enough. I know you’re mad at him but he is letting us live here for free.” Bucky kept rolling perfect little dough balls as he spoke but it was firmer than before. It was his no nonsense voice. His cookie balls were way smoother than Jason’s lumpy attempts. “He might be excessively annoying and arrogant, but he has welcomed us into his home. Manners are free.”
“Fine.” Jason pouted, annoyed at Bucky for taking Stark’s side. “Sorry, Mr Stark. I’m sure you work super hard building your spy robots and creepy tracking programmes.”
Stark rolled his eyes. “Don’t strain yourself, baby ice queen. I’ve heard worse in the Sunday newspapers. Lash out all you want, the Ice Queen isn’t getting out of this building for at least another few months. Not until he’s cleared as safe.”
Jason narrowed his eyes. “Challenge accepted.”
“That wasn’t a challenge,” Clint said, confused.
“He said lash out as much as I wanted.” Jason grinned. “He said I could, Buck. You heard him.”
Bucky laughed, low and warm, and only ever for Jason. “I don’t think he meant it that way.”
“But he said it so I would be rude not to do it,” he insisted. “I am a guest after all and my host has made a request.”
Stark rolled his eyes. “You are a demon child. I want you to know that.”
“Thanks,” he replied with a bright smile. “Willis used to call me a mistake and said he should have drowned me when I was a baby. I like demon child better.”
Stark balked. “What the fuck?”
“Language,” Steve said, stepping into the kitchen. “Tony, c’mon. There’s a kid present.”
“He called me a demon child as well, Cap,” Jason said with the same trembling lip he used to bring out any time he wanted to get free when someone caught him stealing. “And me and Buck were making him cookies to say thank you for letting us stay here.” He wiped his eyes. “I dunno why he doesn’t like us.”
Clint choked on his coffee, he was fighting laughing so much. Even Buck had to put the cookies in the oven to hide his small grin.
“What the fuck?” Stark muttered before rounding on Steve. “Tell me you are not believing this.”
Before Steve could answer, Jason said, “We just asked if there was any way we could go out. Even to the rooftop garden. Neither of us have gotten any fresh air in days, and he called me a demon child and said no.” Jason sniffed. “I dunno, I guess we’ll just stay in our apartment from now on.”
“No,” Steve shouted like Jason knew he would. Bucky rarely let Steve in the apartment because that was their space, and Steve was always desperate to spend more time with Bucky. “We can definitely make it so you can go onto the roof. One of us will have to go with you, but you can definitely do that.”
Jason grinned, bright and happy. “Thanks.” He glanced over at Clint. “Will you take us up, Clint? We can bring up the cookies and share them. You can have…” he trailed off as he counted how many were on the tray in front of him and then figured out how many that would be with the ones in the oven. “Four,” he finally said with a nod. That would leave loads for him and Bucky.
“You are aware you were just played, right?” Bucky asked Steve, arms crossed as he rested on the counter beside Jason. “Like you know he manipulated you?”
Steve put his hands on his hips, almost pouting. “I’m starting to get that.”
Stark threw his hands into the air and stormed out, muttering something about children and bullying and cookies. Pleased warmth curled in Jason’s stomach; that would show Stark for trying to make Jason look stupid and insulting the brand new laptop Bucky had gotten him.
“You can come with us to the roof if you want,” Bucky said to Steve, making Jason glare at him. “Right, Jay?” He said with a raised eyebrow.
“Yeah, fine. Steve can come up with us.” He didn't think the beaming smile Steve shot him was a normal reaction; he didn't have to be that pleased to hang out with them. Literally no one in his whole life had been that pleased to spend time with Jason. Except maybe Buck but that didn’t count because Bucky was his… Well, he was his primary caregiver. “But he can't have any cookies.”
Bucky sighed. “Yes, he can.”
“It's fine, Buck,” Steve said easily. “I'm okay without cookies.”
He shook his head. “Jason would love to share our cookies with you, wouldn't you, pal?”
Jason sighed long and hard so all of them knew how not fine he was with it but he nodded. “I guess that's okay. You can have one, Cap. That's it. And Clint gets four and then the rest are just for me and Buck.”
“What about me?”
“Nat,” Jason shouted, jumping off the counter and running over to her. “Are you hurt?” He examined her carefully but she seemed okay. No bruises. No bandages. No stiff movement. “Did you have a good trip?”
She ruffled his hair, grinning when he pulled away with a scowl. No one was allowed to touch his hair but Bucky. “The trip was fine and I can't believe you’d doubt me,” she said in her usual confident drawl. “Of course I'm not hurt.”
He grinned. “Of course you're not.” He liked that all his adults were so dangerous that no one could damage them. “I'll count the cookies and make sure there's enough for you. Steve might have to go without.”
Clint laughed. “Cap can have one of mine.”
Bucky sighed. “Jaybug, we made thirty two cookies. There's enough for everyone, and I'm pretty sure sharing is important.”
“Nope. Sharing is for suckers,” he said. He had to make sure Bucky learned that lesson. He couldn’t let Bucky get taken advantage of again. “You gotta look out for yourself or you'll end up with nothing.”
Clint laughed. “I remember that.”
“Me too,” Nat said darkly.
Steve glanced over at Bucky. “Yeah, we've been there.”
“Whatever,” Jason said, not sure if the feeling in his gut was a good feeling or not. “I guess Steve can have some cookies but not too many,” he said sternly. “Just because you're on super serum steroids doesn't mean you get to eat more than everyone else.”
Steve crossed his finger over his heart. “Swear.”
Jason nodded firmly.
“Let's go to the roof and have a picnic,” Clint said. He grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch. “What else do we need? I've never been on a picnic.”
“Drinks,” Nat said.
Jason watched as all his grown ups, and Steve, gathered supplies for a picnic on the roof. He had a feeling that they were doing it for him but he wasn't sure if he was meant to be insulted or pleased. He decided to settle on pleased because Bucky was smiling softly as he pulled the last batch of cookies from the oven with his left hand.
“Buck, you gotta wear gloves,” Jason scolded.
“Can’t feel it, bud.”
“Lies,” he shot back. “You told me there were sensors.”
Bucky unloaded the cookies onto a plate before leaning down and kissing Jason’s forehead. Jason batted him away and hid his red cheeks in his jumper. Everyone would see and laugh at him. He was almost ten, he couldn’t just have his d— Bucky kissing him like that.
“Buck,” he whined. “Stop.”
Bucky grinned at him. “Gotta make up for ten years of missing out on forehead kisses,” he said easily like he wasn’t making a lump form in Jason’s throat.
He didn’t even know why he wanted to cry. He wiped his eyes surreptitiously. Pulling his hood up, he leaned forward and pressed his face into Bucky’s chest, hoping no one would notice how his eyes were watering. Why did Buck say things like that? Like he would have liked to have Jason his whole life? Not just for the few months they’d known each other.
“Jay, buddy.”
Jason shook his head, and pressed his face in harder, shuddering when Buck ran his hands through his curls underneath his hood. He heard the others leave and pretended he wasn’t relieved that they were gone. He wasn’t crying, but he wasn’t going to take his face away from Bucky’s warmth until his eyes stopped stinging and his throat stopped aching.
“You’re all right, Jay,” Bucky said softly. “It’s okay.”
He shook his head and gripped onto the edges of Bucky’s henley. He was really crying now. His throat ached with it. He gripped the soft material tightly, pressing his face in until it almost hurt.
Bucky didn’t move, didn’t tell him to hurry up, or to be a man, or any of the shit Willis used to say to him when he got upset. He just let Jason lean his face into his stomach and rubbed soothing circles into his scalp. When Jason finally felt like his skull wasn’t going to explode from the pressure, he wiped his eyes and nose on Bucky’s top and pulled back.
“I’m fine,” he said hoarsely. “I wasn’t crying.”
“It would be okay if you were crying though.” Bucky pushed his curls off his forehead. “You’re allowed to cry, Jaybug.”
He shook his head. “Men don’t cry.”
He crouched down in front of Jason, placing his hands on his hips and holding him still between his spread legs. “I cried last night.”
Jason shook his head. “No, you didn’t.”
“Sure did,” he said easily. “I was sad so I cried.”
Jason stared at him. Willis would never admit something like that. He would never have cried. Not ever. “Did you really?” He asked quietly.
Bucky nodded easily. “It’s okay to cry, Jaybug. It’s okay to feel anything you’ve got to feel. Sometimes that’ll be enough sadness to cry. Sometimes so much happiness you can barely keep it in.” He shrugged. “I think that’s the point of being human. At least I think that’s what Hydra was trying to take away from me. Not just my free will. Not just my ability to fight back. But all the feelings. All the ways that humans can… live, I guess. Express themselves. You get to express yourself any way you want, Jason. Tears and laughter and shouting.”
“What about you? Do you get to do all that too?”
“Sure do, buddy. That’s why I was crying last night.” He pulled Jason into a tight hug before letting him go. “Now,” he said, squeezing Jason’s shoulders in that way that made him feel safe. “Do you wanna go up and have the picnic with the others or do you want to go back to the room and watch a movie?”
“Roof garden,” he said instantly. “I’m a growing boy. I need fresh air.”
Bucky laughed. “That you do, buddy. That you do.”