Chapter Text
Part I: The Dowager Queen
Alicent comes to a shocking realization regarding her favorite child’s marriage.
For many years, Alicent regretted allowing Viserys to marry Aemond to Lucerys Velaryon.
She thought him mad when he first announced it. Lost his mind to the kiss of the poppy and babbling nonsense. But no, he was serious and insistent that Aemond marry the boy who brutalized him and stole half his sight. She fought against it for days, trying every tactic she could think of to convince Viserys that such a choice would only condemn their son to a lifetime of misery. She would have still kept fighting if her son—her dear, brave boy—did not speak up and tell her he would do it. That he would obey the king’s demand and marry the bastard prince. So, she gave in, and a year later, the bastard prince came of age, and the wedding was arranged.
Alicent will never forget how weak and helpless she felt that day, watching her pride and joy marry the bastard prince of Driftmark. And she swore to herself, then and there, that she would fix things once Aegon is named king. She will find a way to annul the marriage and free Aemond so he may marry someone worthy of him.
The year after their marriage goes as she expects. Aemond writes dutifully to her, telling her of his days, activities, and the people he meets in Driftmark. He rarely speaks of his spouse, something she understands. Only a few moons after their marriage, he writes to her that the bastard prince fell pregnant, and it fills Alicent with both relief and joy. This means her son will not have to lie with the boy anymore, and she will be a grandame once again. When the twins are born, she cries tears of relief that they are alphas of each gender, which cements Aemond’s place on Driftmark. Now, no matter what happens, Aemond is safe and secure as the father of the heir of Driftmark.
The years following the twins’ birth are marked by letters and solo visits from her son. The visits stop briefly when the Winter Fever hits the country, but the letters remain strong. Alicent is surprised by the additional birth of Daenaera and Baelon but assumes that they were born out of Aemond’s wish for a large family. Her son continues to share about his days and duties, rarely mentioning his nephew. She doesn’t ask and accepts that it is likely a sore topic for him, and gives him his space. Before she knows it, six years have passed, and she has not yet met her grandchildren, a fact that sorely troubles her.
Then comes Viserys’s demand to call not just their family home but all the Great Houses across the lands. Alicent cannot say why he wants their family reunited, but doesn’t question it as she, too, wishes to see her children together again. It leaves her nearly giddy to know that she will see her sons again and finally meet her grandchildren. The day that the servant whispers to her that House Velaryon has arrived and will join them soon, the news leaves her so excited that she cannot help smiling with joy.
But that joy quickly gives way to shock and confusion as she lays eyes on her grandchildren for the first time.
When she first sees Aerys and Alyssa from a distance, she thinks for sure that her son has been tricked and that the bastard prince has followed in his mother’s footsteps and slept with another. For why else would the twins have such dark skin and pale, curled hair? But then they grow closer, and she sees their features better and realizes, with a sinking stomach, that the twins’ faces are identical to Aemond’s. In fact, if the twins had lighter skin and straighter hair, then they would be identical to Aemond at that age. Their siblings are the same, with little Daenaera being a miniature version of her father with only a hint of Prince Lucerys in her face, and Baelon already shaping up to be the same, and the only difference being his thick, curly hair.
Oh. They look that way because Prince Lucerys is Ser Laenor’s son, she realizes, staring between the children, their parents, Lord Corlys, Princess Rhaenys, and Rhaenyra. The realization is so shocking that she spends the entirety of the summons in semi-shock. She only snaps out of it when she hears Aemond declare that he has bonded with Prince Lucerys and proudly shows off the mark for all to see.
Alicent nearly faints from the shock and horror and needs poor Daeron to help hold her up.
After the court session ends, she is too busy escorting Viserys out to pay attention to Aemond and his little family. When her husband asks her in private if they can wed Daeron to Prince Joffrey, she approves of the match without much thought. However, she later realizes that it was the right choice to make. After all, if Prince Lucerys is Ser Laenor’s son, then that means his brothers likely are, too.
They are not bastards. Rhaenyra did not commit adultery, she thinks and feels her stomach sink with guilt and horror. The feelings do not go away for moons afterward, leaving her lost in thought for days. She rethinks every interaction she ever had with Ser Laenor, Rhaenyra, and their sons and wonders if Ser Laenor’s joy at having sons was because he knew them to be genuinely his blood and not a front that he was putting on to fool them all. But mostly, she wonders how she allowed her own bitterness and anger to cloud her judgment of a truth that she did not want to see.
In the coming days, she watches Aemond and Prince Lucerys and how they interact. They are always together and touching each other in some way or another, whether it be holding hands, linked arms, shoulder touches, or secret kisses when they think no one is looking. They whisper to each other and share looks and gestures of some secret language that only they know, and parent their children together as one unit. But what she notices most is how much Aemond smiles and laughs with a joy she did not think him capable of.
He loves Prince Lucerys, she realizes, and wonders if this is the Gods way of making her pay for all her crimes and sins.
She asks Aemond, of course, because there have never been secrets between the two of them. And Aemond—her pride, her joy, her good son—looks her in the eye and confirms his feelings. “Lucerys is mine as I am his,” he tells her with affection but also as a warning to her not to interfere. “He brings me a peace I have never known before. A peace I did not think I could ever possess.”
“How can you find peace with the boy who cut out your eye?” she demands of him, expecting him to lose his temper, only to be proven wrong. Aemond remains calm and doesn’t flinch away from her glare.
“I forgave him for this and moved past it,” he explains simply.
“How can you—?!”
“He offered me his eye in return,” Aemond says, raising his voice slightly to be heard over her. “He held a knife against his face and would have cut out his eye then and there if it meant I would stop treating him so cruelly. I stopped him because the idea did not make me feel better. It did not heal me. What healed me was his sincerity, love, and devotion.”
“Lucerys looks at me as if I can do no wrong,” he continues when she remains silent. “He looks at me like a devotee looks at their god. It makes me want to do better for him. To be deserving of the image he has of me in his mind. To be deserving of his love. That love and devotion have brought me a sense of peace I have never known before in my life. A peace I will fight to keep.”
Alicent realizes then that her son is no longer the angry youth she sent away to be married. He is a man now, grown and confident, and settled in his identity as the lord husband of the Lord of Driftmark. And though she is proud of him for the man he has grown to be, she also feels a sense of loss. It feels like a crime. It feels as if she has lost yet another thing to the House of Targaryen, even though her son is hardly a possession and belongs to it more than she ever will. But she cannot think of any other way to describe her feelings. For Aemond had always been at her side, her faithful and loyal companion in all ways, but now he belongs to Prince Lucerys wholly and, therefore, to House Velaryon. He will choose them if it comes down to it.
“I thought you were lying when you wrote to me that you were happy in Driftmark,” she admits, recalling his letters where he did express moments of joy. “That you lied to protect me from my own guilt and misery.”
Aemond gives her a look of both fondness and pity. “I would not lie about such matters. Not even to you,” he admits before kissing her on the cheek in farewell as he goes back to his husband and children.
She stews in her feelings for the next few days before finally mustering up the courage to summon Prince Lucerys to her rooms to speak with him. While she knows her son is in love with the boy, she doubts it is as deeply returned. Not when she recalls the cruel pranks Prince Lucerys played a part in when they were children, and not when she recalls the fear and horror on his face when he married her son. So, she invites him to eat with her alone, and the boy comes as summoned, and when she questions him on his feelings, he shocks her with his words.
“What would I have to do to convince you that I love your son?” Prince Lucerys asks boldly, staring her in the eye with no fear or hesitation. Facing him head-on like that, for the first time since he was a child, reminds her that Aemond is not the only one who has grown up.
It throws her off enough that she has to lace her hands together on the table to hide how much they’re shaking. “Well, why do you care for Aemond? What do you like about him?” she asks, voicing the first thing that comes to mind. She can feel Ser Criston staring at her in alarm and concern, but she ignores him for now. “And… how does he make you feel? Is it the… physical nature of your relationship that you merely enjoy? Or do you hold genuine respect and love for him?”
Prince Lucerys tilts his head to the side as he seems to think over her questions seriously. She can see him running his tongue over his teeth in thought, and it reminds her of Rhaenyra when they were younger, doing the same thing as she worked out an equation or question from the maester. “Aemond has been… both a trial and a blessing to me,” he says with a little laugh as he glances around the room with his large black eyes. “Those first years of marriage were hard. We spent nearly all of our time fighting, bickering, and being nasty to each other. It only changed when the twins were born, and I grew… ill for a time. After that, we started speaking about what sort of marriage we wanted. We came to an understanding to work together to make it a happy one. And that is what we have managed to do after all this time.”
The young prince pauses then and takes in a deep breath before he breaks down his view of Aemond to her, and Alicent gets the chance to relearn this favorite son of hers. Prince Lucerys describes Aemond as a serious and solemn man with only a few interests, such as reading books, training with his sword, and riding Vhagar. He is loyal and dutiful, with a deep sense of pride in his lineage and bloodline. He can be delightfully witty and sarcastic, and does rather unforgettable impressions of people. He is smart enough to hold his own against Lord Corlys and still has a short temper and a stubborn nature.
But it is the last part of his explanation that convinces Alicent that this boy loves her son.
“I want to do better, to be better for him, because he deserves only the best. I–I suppose you could say that Aemond makes me want to be a better person. And I hope I make him feel the same,” describes Prince Lucerys, his beautiful face bright and honest and so open that Alicent doesn’t think this boy even knows how to lie. “I… I know that you do not care for me nor trust me, and I know I am not the bride that you or Aemond would have chosen for him. And I never thought I would be chosen after… after the incident on Driftmark. But I do not regret marrying him. I do not regret the life we have built together or the children we have been blessed with. Despite the difficulties and the tragedies that started our relationship, we have managed to change its course to something good and wonderful, and I will never regret that.”
Hearing that, Alicent feels something inside her—somewhere deep and hidden—break in defeat, and tears come to her eyes. She cannot control herself as she begins to cry into her hands. She cannot say for sure if her tears come from relief, remorse, or regret, but she knows why she cries. She cries for her cruelty towards this boy and his brothers for a lie that has backfired on them all. She cries for failing to bring Aemond even a sliver of the peace and joy that he feels now, but never knew as a child under her care. She cries for having lost her son to another love that she once thought of as a punishment. But mostly, she cries because she realizes now that Prince Lucerys loves her son in the same way that she still loves his mother.
She tries her best to describe some of this to the prince, but can only get out her feelings at losing Aemond, for the others are too hard for her to voice. And Prince Lucerys—for reasons she will never know—stands up and comes to her side to comfort her. His hand is warm where it rests on her shoulder, and his face is sincere when he asks for the reason behind her tears. She shares some of it, mainly how guilty she feels at not realizing how miserable Aemond was when he lived at the Red Keep.
“Aemond… he was never so happy when he lived here,” she acknowledges, and the words taste foul in her mouth. “Not as he is with you in Driftmark. And I see that now, and it makes me feel… oh, I have failed him, truly, as a mother!”
Alicent cannot help but sob again into her hands while Prince Lucerys considers her carefully with more compassion than she ever showed him. “Your Grace, I will not pretend to know how your life here at the Red Keep has been since my family and I departed many years ago. But I know Aemond as a person, and I know that part of the reason he grew up to be such a great man is due to you,” he explains quietly, leaning down a bit to meet and hold her stare. “You raised a noble alpha, and I believe he was happy here, with you and his siblings, and that he missed you all for a time.”
“But no longer,” she points out, her shoulders dropping from the weight of such knowledge. “He no longer needs us to be happy.”
Prince Lucerys furrows his brows together. “Well, perhaps, but isn’t that normal? A child is not meant to stay by their parents’ side. Not forever.”
Alicent had never heard such words before. “Whatever do you mean by that?”
Prince Lucerys glances away as he slowly explains, “Well, my father, he—he had these sayings he liked to use on Jace and me that he learned from Grandsire Corlys. One of his sayings was on parents. I don’t recall the exact words he used, but as he explained it to me after, a parent cannot accompany their child forever. Only a spouse can fulfill that role. That is why when one marries, they come to depend on their spouse for love and loyalty before their parents. They can still love and honor their parents, but their spouse should be put first, for they are the ones who will accompany one through the rest of their life.”
“And you will do that? Put Aemond first? Before R—your mother?” she wonders without thinking.
“Of course. Why else would I be here, trying to get along with you?” Prince Lucerys asks frankly, blinking his large eyes at her with complete bafflement. His words make Ser Criston bristle and his foreign guard stir, but all Alicent can do is laugh.
“That is a fair point,” she admits, smiling sadly. “I have not been kind to you, even before the… incident on Driftmark. But you are still trying to get along with me, for Aemond’s sake. I should be able to… do the same.”
Prince Lucerys glances around the room awkwardly in a manner that, not for the first time, reminds her of the departed Queen Aemma. The late queen used to do the same thing whenever the topic of children came up in dinner discussions. It is another reminder of how much this boy resembles her, from his soft features to his graceful mannerisms to his kind heart. Despite how much Alicent resents the dead woman for her hold on Viserys, which lingers even now, she can admit that Queen Aemma had always been very kind to her.
Much like her grandson now, she acknowledges, feeling a twinge of guilt and shame.
“I have brought you some gifts that Aemond and I selected on our travels,” Prince Lucerys eventually comments, gesturing with one hand to the servants who stand waiting outside her rooms. She had forgotten about them and the boxes they carried. “Would you care to see them?”
Alicent sinks back into her chair, feeling a sense of relief at his words. “Yes, please,” she answers, and Prince Lucerys quickly brings them in. The gifts are all lovely and clearly chosen with thought and consideration of both Aemond and Prince Lucerys. She enjoys unpacking each piece, but is mainly taken by an amber dress that reminds her of happier times and a green veil that she quickly puts on. But the greatest surprise is when Prince Lucerys presents one of the gifts to Ser Criston, accompanied by a request for him to accept it.
As she expects, the alpha folds his hands behind him and looks over Prince Lucerys’s head. “I do not accept bribes.”
Prince Lucerys looks sufficiently offended. “It is not—why would I try to bribe you? What would I bribe you with? And in front of Her Grace? Do you think me that foolish?” he wonders, shaking his head. “Never mind. I am getting off the subject. This is a gift that Aemond helped me pick out when we were last in Dorne. Consider it a… peace offering from me.”
He quickly holds up a hand when the knight opens his mouth, stalling the alpha from speaking. “I know that you do not want it. I know that you do not respect me or like me and may possibly even hate me for reasons I will never know. That’s all fine because I do not care much for you either. You’re a bit of a brute and a bully, and you never taught me anything in combat, even when I tried to learn.”
Ser Criston bristles at that like a cat getting its tail stepped on. “Prince Luc—!”
But Prince Lucerys doesn’t pay him any mind and continues talking. “But my husband cares for you. Very much. Very, very much! He greatly respects you and holds you in high regard.” He stops here and takes in a deep breath. “And I… I love him. Very deeply, as you clearly heard. And I want him to be happy, always, and what makes him happy is if the ones he holds dear live in peace with one another. And that is what I would like for us to do.”
Here, Prince Lucerys stops again, closes his eyes, and takes in another deep breath before continuing, “I know this will not mean much to you, but my mother told me that you are an honorable alpha. She said that it is because of how dutiful you are that she trusts you to protect Grandsire and Her Grace. And so, I, too, will trust in her judgment of you, just as I trust in my husband’s.”
Hearing all of that, Ser Criston swallows audibly as his face grows tight and stiff and his shoulders visibly rigid even under all the armor. His dark eyes have grown wider as he blinks rapidly while staring at the omega prince. Alicent cannot blame him for his shock as she is feeling much the same. She never imagined that Rhaenyra would ever call Ser Criston an honorable alpha, nor that she trusted him to protect her and Viserys. All these years, she assumed Rhaenyra had been speaking vile things of the knight to her sons, for their relationship is hardly a civil one. But apparently, Rhaenyra has treated the knight with more respect and dignity than he ever showed the princess, and she can see that it eats at Ser Criston to know that.
“Thank you… Prince Lucerys. For the gift,” the knight finally says quietly, giving a short bow to Prince Lucerys before taking the gift box from him. “You are… very kind to do so.”
“You are very welcome, Ser,” Prince Lucerys replies, giving a hesitant yet beautiful smile that Ser Criston avoids looking at because Alicent and he both know who the prince inherited that smile from. It makes her smile awkwardly, and in turn, she feels something inside her chest finally relax and breathe.
This is not the end of her troubles or worries. But it is a start to something, and for once, she is not afraid of what is to come.