Work Text:
Tony ducked as a splash of orange goop went flying over his head. In her high chair, Darcy giggled, waving her spoon in the air. Glancing at the orange splatter now decorating the wall, Tony cringed. Pepper was going to lecture him for sure when she got home. She'd told him not to give Darcy the spoon, after all.
“Well, clearly you don't like, er,” Tony looked at the jar, “mashed sweet potatoes.” Looking at the glob of orange again, he shrugged and dragged a finger through the stuff before sticking it in his mouth. Darcy laughed as his face contorted into a look of disgust. He quickly spit the goop that someone was attempting to pass off as food out. “Jeez Darcy, what is this crap? I should sue them for false advertising. That is NOT sweet potato.”
Snatching the jar from her tray, Tony chucked it in the trash on his way to the fridge. “Let's make you some real food, kid. Alright, what have we got to work with?”
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Pepper set her portfolio on the hallway table as she walked into the Malibu house. She loved her job, really she did. But some days, she really wanted to shoot someone. Especially when a mess-up was followed by a dinner date request.
“Tony? Darcy?” called Pepper as she wondered further into the house. She was heading for the workshop when a wurring noise from the kitchen caught her attention.
Shifting towards the kitchen, Pepper pause for a moment outside the door and prayed she wasn't about to face another disaster zone like the one she had a few months back. Her only comforts were the lack of sirens and crying. Taking a deep breath, she pushed oven the swinging door to see the damage.
She couldn't decide if this was better or worse than last time.
On the plus side, there was no smoke this time. Nor did there seem to be any random inventions littering the room or stains on the ceiling. She was concerned with the concoction currently sitting in the blender though. Tony had mixed up some weird power shakes before, but none of them had been blue. Or that chunky.
“Tony,” repeated Pepper as she stepped completely into the room, “what are you doing?”
“Making baby food,” replied Tony as he dipped his finger into the contents of the blender and tasted it. “Much better. You're going to like this stuff, Darce. It tastes significantly better than that not-sweet-potato crap.”
“Tony!” Pepper's sharp exclamation caught his attention again. “Language.” Eying the blender, she gestured towards the questionable liquid inside. “What is IN that?”
“Um, let me see...” Tony's eyes darted across the various food items spread in front of him. “There's turkey, herb potatoes, corn on the cob sans the cob, milk, and blueberries for taste. Oh, and ice cream. Can't forget the ice cream. It tastes much better than that jarred stuff. I'm thinking of going into the baby food industry. What do you think, Pep?”
Pepper wasn't sure what to think, so she just groaned and let her forehead hit the wall beside her. Repeatedly. While reminding herself that Darcy would NOT be better off without Tony. Even if her chances of contracting food poisoning would be greatly reduced.
“Not a good idea, huh?” Tony had gotten significantly better at reading Pepper since she moved in.
“You can't just blend a bunch of things together and call it baby food,” explained Pepper with as much patience as she could muster. She was rather happy when her voice remained level. She really did love Tony in the 'I'm raising a child with him' way, but sometimes he pushed her patience to the very edge.
“So, I guess my Cheeto puree is out?” asked Tony with a wince.
“Yes,” confirmed Pepper as she picked up Darcy from her high chair. The little girl wrapped her arms around Pepper immediately. “What made you do all this anyway?”
Tony sighed as he poured his concoction into a glass and took a gulp. At Pepper's raised eyebrow, he shrugged. “It doesn't taste bad.” Taking another drink, he started to clean up the kitchen, because Pepper would ban him again if he didn't. “And I did this so Darcy would have something she liked eating around here. I mean, have you tasted that stuff, Pep?”
“Why do you think she doesn't like it?” asked Pepper as she took another jar of baby food from the cabinet and handed it to Tony.
He popped the lid and set it on the counter before heading to the silverware drawer. “She threw a glob of it at me earlier.” Finding one of the soft spoons, he handed it to Pepper. “I tasted that stuff, Pep. It's nasty.”
Pepper shook her head as she offered a spoonful of the mashed sweet potatoes to Darcy, who happily accepted the bite. “Tony, all infants throw their food. They find it funny. It's got nothing to do with a food preference most of the time.”
“Really?” asked Tony skeptically. “Because I'm pretty sure that stuff is beyond inedible.”
“Trust me Tony, she doesn't care,” assured Pepper. “If she cared, we'd know it. Now, finish cleaning up. I was thinking we could all watch a movie tonight.”
“Bad day at work?” questioned Tony curiously as he went back to putting things away.
Pepper nodded as she continued feeding Darcy. “Helswin screwed up the calender, so I missed two board meetings I was supposed to sit in on. Then, he had the gall to ask me to dinner.”
Tony snorted. “As if you would go out with him. You can do so much better, Pep.”
“Please Tony, between you and Darcy, who has time to date?” Setting the spoon beside the jar, she hugged Darcy as the little girl leaned against her with a slight yawn. “Besides, you two are all the family I can handle.”
