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it’s not fair to make me feel this much

Summary:

Antonio is invited by his best friend to attend his brother’s boyfriend’s aunt’s wedding. Antonio is Gilbert’s +1 and Francis is Gilbert’s +2, obviously. He learns that Rhode Island is filled with isolated, nonsensical Italian-American politics and that Gilbert’s brother’s boyfriend’s brother is devastatingly handsome.

Notes:

the first three paragraphs were sitting for months and then the spirit of mamma mia took over me. un-betaed... for now? i very fortunately fell in love with an Italian American and therefore know way too much about Italian America, which then inspired this. enjoy!

i'd like to thank A Job Interview by Someone_you_do_not_know for writing the best spamano fic on earth and also revitalizing my love for spamano and inspired me as well!!

edit 1/9/25: edited to be more fun! featuring recipes!
edit 7/24/26: consistency, grammar, etc.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Antonio deeply considered smashing his face into the keyboard. 

If he had to log numbers in one more time, he might lose it. You would think a degree from a well-known school would get him a pretty good job, but in reality, all it got him was an average job where he punched in numbers all day so people could have imported motorcycles or the newest vape flavor or whatever. 

His co-workers probably looked down on him for staring blankly at a screen thirty minutes before five, but Antonio was a free spirit who believed in a balanced life. He wasn’t his roommate #1, who worked as much overtime as possible (even without pay!), nor his roommate #2, who basically prayed to God to make sure his shift got canceled every day. 

Antonio left his desk ten minutes before five. After all, it was a Friday! And who didn’t want to spend their Friday evening frolicking down the city, slightly tipsy on a warm Spring night? He ran down a few blocks to the small plate restaurant he and his roommates agreed upon. It had outdoor seating and served super cute small Italian dishes. He really wanted to try the duck prosciutto he saw on the menu. 

Unsurprisingly, Francis was there first. 

“Hello, Francis!” Antonio greeted and moved to hug roommate #2. “How was your day?”  

“Ah, absolutely had the greatest day. I woke up late, made myself an omelette with some mushrooms. Strolled down the streets, visited a bookstore, got lost in the library afterwards.” Francis signed, taking in the sunset. “I love being unemployed.” 

“You are not unemployed,” a grumpy voice said behind them. 

“Gilbert!” Francis kissed roommate #1’s cheek. “I basically am when I’m not working!” 

“The free-spirited life of a flight attendant,” Antonio said, while hoping that he too would be freed from the prison of a 9-5. 

Gilbert rolled his eyes and marched forward. He talked to the host to make sure the three of them could get a table and turned back to the both of them. “Whatever, I’m starving. And I have some good news to share with you both over dinner.” 

“Oooh, meaning this is your treat?” 

Gilbert blew Francis an exaggerated kiss. “Maybe, if you keep your lips shut, Franny.” 

“So, what’s the good news?” Antonio asked after they ordered. His head spun thinking about cured meats and fresh tomatoes. 

“Well, I got invited to my brother’s boyfriend’s aunt’s wedding back home on the East Coast! You both are invited.” Gilbert took a long swing of his drink and grinned, all smug and satisfied. 

“Whose wedding?” Francis asked, “Why should we go to a random person’s wedding?” 

Gilbert turned with a deadpan expression. “Didn’t you hear? It’s Ludwig’s boyfriend’s aunt’s wedding. Her name is Maria.” 

“Yeah, Francis. It’s Ludwig’s boyfriend’s aunt’s wedding. Duh .” Antonio chided from the background. He played with the glass in front of him, he understood what Francis was worried about. But for Antonio, it was just easier to roll with the punches and poke fun at Francis a bit. 

Francis rolled his eyes, “Are you allowed to bring the both of us to a family wedding, and when we’ve never even met said family? Two plus ones?"

Gilbert shrugged, “My family has known that family forever, you would think my brother and little Feli were betrothed since birth or something! It’s fine, no worries! They’re a big family and they think the more the merrier. Besides, it’ll be awesome! I can show you guys the beaches and cool birds and shit.” Gilbert spread his arms and tried to charade a beach and a cool bird. 

Francis still appeared uneasy. “Okay, but when? Can we afford this?” 

“Oh, shut up, I know you’re going to get a free ticket from your airline.” Francis brought his hand to his chest with an indignant expression, but Gilbert continued, “But whatever, we’ll be staying at my dad’s house and everything will be free, well, except the plane tickets for me and Antonio.”

“I do like blowing off work. I’ve also never been to Massachusetts.” Francis shrugged. “What about you, Antonio?” 

“Oh, I’ve been sold since the start. Anything to take some vacation days, I’m in.” Antonio stuffed one of the fresh bread rolls in his face. It had a pretzel-like texture. “I hope the food will be good.” 

“It will be,” Gilbert said as the rest of their food came out. “Bunch of seafood and stuff. And that family loves tomatoes almost as much as you do, so you’ll knock yourself out.” 

Antonio was barely listening as he dove straight into his eggplant parmesan. 

 

-

 

And that’s how the three of them ended on an early morning plane to Boston in late June. 

“So, what’s the bride like?” Francis asked as they sat all comfortable in their seats. Antonio took the aisle seat, as he was always a bit restless. He leaned over to see Gilbert, who was seated by the window. 

“She’s a super small lady. Getting married a bit later in her life, but that’s because she’s chill as fuck. Getting married to some other guy in town, I think he liked to sell stuff at the farmer’s market or something.” 

“Farmer’s market?” Antonio asked. 

“Yeah, there’s one on Sunday. That day will probably be free, there’s not much wedding duties we have to attend to.” 

“She sounds lovely,” Francis said. “Speaking of which, maybe we can get her a gift at the farmer’s market? I didn’t prepare anything.” 

“She’ll love anything, dude. I don’t know what to give a lady in her forties.” Gilbert said, shutting his eyes from the glare of the morning sun. 

“Maybe some nice fresh produce. Or those specialty honeys, they always have those at the markets.” Antonio suggested. His mind was preoccupied with what the produce would be like in the East Coast. “What about your brother? His boyfriend? I never really got to know your family that much.” 

“They’re just like ever, you remember! You visited our apartment during college! Ludwig goes to MIT, kicking ass in engineering as always.” Gilbert nodded to himself with pride. “Feliciano, I guess you guys have never met him. He’s a cutie and he wants to be an architect, following his father and grandpa. His brother is a bit snooty though, but fun to be around especially when drinks are involved.” 

“You sure we’re all going to fit in your apartment, Gil?” Francis asked. Antonio recalled the small third floor apartment that Gilbert’s family had in Boston. “It’s pretty small and I don’t want to make it too cramped for you, Ludwig, and your father.” 

Gilbert leaned back in his seat and answered vaguely. “Oh, it’ll be just fine.” Antonio was a bit weirded out by the answer but remained quiet. The flight was taking off and Gilbert’s hands were white as they gripped the armrests. Francis turned to raise an eyebrow at Antonio.

Antonio shrugged back. Gilbert was probably tired from waking up early or something. 

 

 

“Ah, sweet air!” Gilbert cried as they walked out of the Boston airport. “Fresh, awesome East Coast air!” He was huffing and puffing his chest, trying to inhale as much air as possible. 

“It feels quite similar to me, Gil,” Antonio said, taking in their surroundings. Not much seemed to have changed since he last visited during a college spring break a few years ago. Or even that different from Chicago, really. Some buildings looked a bit older, and maybe different kinds of plants – the color of green maybe looked a bit more vibrant, but Antonio didn’t know if that meant anything. 

“Such dramatics,” Francis agreed behind his sunglasses. “I’ve been on plenty-a-planes, Gil, the air inside is the same as out here.” 

A shiny gray SUV pulled to the side of the curb. The window rolled down, presenting a handsome younger man with light brown hair. Antonio noticed that his clothes were a bunch of light colors (cream shirt, white pants) and pressed nicely. “Hello, Gil!” His voice was very pleasant.

“Feli!” Gilbert hugged him through the window. Then, he thrusted half his body into the window. Antonio and Francis could hear him shout, “Luddy!” 

After a few scuffles, Gilbert was thrown out of the window. Antonio and Francis could finally peer into the window to see Gilbert’s younger brother, wearing a pair of framed glasses and a neat blue button-down. Ludwig got out of the car to help his brother bring the luggage in. 

“Hi, Ludwig! It’s been a while,” Antonio waved at the two men carrying their bags. He turned to shake hands with Feliciano. “Pleasure to meet you, my name is Antonio.” 

Francis followed suit, “And I’m Francis. Again, thanks to your aunt for inviting us to her wedding.” 

Feliciano smiled, all bright and warm. “No worries! Auntie Maria loves people. Now get in the car, it’s going to be a long drive!” 

He seemed to be such a sweet boy, Antonio mused. But he was a bit confused, Gilbert’s house was just in the city. 

After Gilbert and Ludwig were done with the luggage, they were off. Once they got on the freeway, Antonio spoke up, “Long drive? Gil, I remember your house just being twenty minutes away.” 

Feliciano answered instead, “Well, that is still a long drive. In my family that is, but we are going a bit farther. Actually, I heard that an hour and a half isn’t a long drive to some, so I’m not actually sure what is a long drive to you. But–” 

“We’re going to our grandfather’s house,” Ludwig answered.

“Oh, that’s nice. Will we all fit?” Francis asked. 

“Of course!” Gilbert answered, face a bit red. “There’s plenty of space at Opa’s house. We’re going to be sleeping in the basement, a bit more room.” 

Antonio hummed. “Cool, so is it in Boston or outside of Boston? Thanks Ludwig for picking us up, I didn’t know it would be such a drive. Gilbert didn’t say anything about your grandfather’s house.” 

The car got suddenly quiet. Antonio looked around the car, and finally, stared at Gilbert’s still-red face. Maybe he was sunburnt from the plane ride? He had no idea why Gilbert insisted on the window seat when he was so susceptible to burns. 

“Yeah,” Gilbert finally answered. “It’s a bit outside of Boston, you can say.” 

 

 

Over the course of an hour, Antonio learned an awful lot about Ludwig and Feliciano. Mostly Feliciano. They both confirmed that they went to MIT, that Feliciano was indeed studying architecture and his dream was to design a new dream home for his family. They’ve been dating since they were freshmen, and they've been playmates since they were in diapers. Apparently, the Beilschmidt family was very close to the Vargas family. Gilbert interjected here and there to tell stories of how Feliciano used to ride their dogs like a horse or how Ludwig almost drove off a cliff when he learned how to drive because he took the GPS directions a bit too seriously.

An hour later, they crossed the Massachusetts state border to Rhode Island. 

“Huh,” Antonio said. “We are definitely outside of Boston.” 

“That’s what I said earlier,” Gilbert replied, looking anywhere but his two friends. 

Antonio made eye contact with Francis, something was fishy around here. And it wasn’t just because of all the ocean-themed signs Antonio had seen. They just crossed the border, and everything was already blue and white. 

Feliciano broke the silence, “Only about thirty more minutes! We go straight into Narragansett and then we’ll be by Opa Friedrich’s home! It’s such a cute home, and you guys will just be a fifteen minute walk from my house! Maybe I could walk back when we drop you off, it’ll be dinner time soon and I could work up an appetite!” 

“Did you drive all the way up here to pick us up?” Francis asked. 

Feliciano shrugged, “Kind of. Luddy has been down at Narragansett since summer break and just drove up to pick you guys up. I wasn’t doing anything today and my older brother was at work, so I came with!”

After a few minutes, the landscape shifted from city to forest, to the horizon. At the distance, Antonio could see something sparkle.

“Gil, is that the ocean?” Antonio asked, eyes wide and locked on the glimpses of blue he could see. 

“Of course,” Gilbert snorted. “This is the Ocean  State. I promised you beaches and shit, right? We got surfboards and stuff at the house.” 

“I didn’t realize how far out we would be,” Francis added, also in awe as they drove closer. The road seemed to follow the coastline.

Antonio spotted a few small seafood restaurants right on the coast, they were blocking the view to the ocean. Antonio could feel the difference already. It’s been so long since he saw the ocean.

They turned the corner, and there was a long stretch of beach. 

Gilbert stared too, “Fuck yeah, this is the most awesome beach in town. Ha – who’s the greatest? Your best friend that invited you both to a sick summer vacation?” 

“This is amazing, Gilbert!” Francis said. “You never told us about this before.”

They crossed an old brick bridge and turned into a subdivision. 

Once they got to the end of the street, they parked at a two-story house that had a wrap-around balcony on the second level. The garden was blooming with vibrant blue hydrangeas. Once they got out of the car, Antonio was quick to admire the flowers in bloom. 

“Lud, is dad here?” Gilbert asked as he moved their luggage from the trunk. 

“He’s coming tomorrow. He’ll drive down here after work, he only got time off for then,” Ludwig answered. 

“That’s lame,” Gilbert said as he closed the trunk. “Whatever, we’ll see him tomorrow after our beach day. Come on, I’ll show you guys the basement.” 

“What about your grandfather?” Francis asked as they both followed Gilbert through the white picket fence. There was a glass sliding door below the porch, which Gilbert opened. There was a huge bed, a couch, and a flat-screen television. On the wall were the promised surfboards. 

“My Opa?” Gil asked as he propped his luggage on the bed. Antonio laughed at Francis’ disgusted expression. “He’s been dead for a while now. And besides, this isn’t really his house-house. He lived back in Boston too, this is just the house our family went to every summer now. It’s technically his house, though. Or it’s my dad’s now. I don’t know the legal shit.”

Antonio and Francis blinked owlishly. That was a lot of information to take in at once, “You used to stay here every summer?” Francis asked. 

Gilbert let out a nervous laugh, “Haha. Yup. Didn’t I tell you guys?” 

Antonio walked slowly, suddenly scared to make a mess in the house. He might make a smudge on the floor with his shoe by just existing. “Gil, I’m confused. What do you mean?” 

“It’s pretty easy to understand, it’s a house for the summer. A summer house. You guys never heard of it?” Gilbert grumbled as he repacked his clothes into the drawers. 

After a moment of silence, Francis said, “My friend, we didn’t realize that this vacation would be so…” 

Francis trailed off, taking a minute to take in the quaint summer home. 

“Fancy.” Antonio concluded, looking at the pretty patio furniture through the window. 

Gilbert looked at the both of them with a helpless expression. He looked so red and tired, Antonio almost felt bad for the guy. But Antonio wasn’t sure what exactly he should be feeling either.  Antonio had only heard of a summer house in the movies. He had assumed that Gilbert’s family was well off, but not that well off. They all went to a nice public school, and Gilbert always worked during the semesters. And besides, why else would the man be working 70 hours a week if not to pay off something? Antonio looked around the room, which he realized was actually a huge basement that was renovated to be a bedroom. He was stuck with the worst thought possible: was Gilbert working for fun

The loud screech of tires and a loud honk interrupted his thoughts. 

Ludwig shouted through the door, “Gil, Feli is leaving now!” 

Gilbert thanked god under his breath and motioned the two to come over, “Let’s go say bye to Feli. That was his brother.”

Antonio followed, still not sure exactly what to do with all this new information. 

In the driveway, Ludwig and Feliciano were hugging. Behind them was a fancy red convertible car that Antonio couldn’t even recognize the brand. It looked a bit on the older side, with retro-white stripes painted on the sides. The top was down too, and he could make out that someone was in the driver’s seat. 

Feliciano waved at them after he pulled away from Ludwig. “Gil! I’m leaving now, Lovi decided to pick me up for dinner! Bye, Antonio and Francis! It was nice meeting you both, hopefully, we get to hang out soon. I think that we’ll be by the beach tomorrow if you want to stop by, I know that me and my family might be busy with wedding preparations–”

The car let out another loud honk. Surprisingly, Feliciano stayed still as Ludwig jumped in the air in surprise. Ludwig moved to the side, and Antonio was able to see the person at the wheel. 

He looked a lot like Feliciano, with a handsome face and similarly tousled hair. However, his hair and skin were a bit darker. Antonio followed the curve of his mouth, to his nose. He was wearing a pair of dark sunglasses. 

“Lovi, it’s been a while!” Gilbert yelled while he flailed his arms. He jogged over and leaned on the passenger’s side. 

Antonio watched as the man’s lips curled into a frown. “Get off before I spit on you, Gilbert.” 

“Oh, so mean. How you wound my heart so,” Gilbert said in a monotone voice and brought his hands to his heart. He opened the door for Feliciano to come through. “See you guys later.”

Feliciano laughed and waved, “Bye, Gilbert! Bye, Ludwig! Bye, Antonio and Francis!”

“Lovi” briefly brought down his sunglasses to the tip of his nose and rolled his eyes. They were a shade of hazel–Antonio wasn’t sure if it was green or brown.

This must be the snooty older brother Gilbert was talking about, Antonio realized. He raised his hand to wave goodbye as the red convertible dashed out of the driveway with the same tire screech from earlier.

-

 

~Secret Homemade~ Eggplant Parmesan Recipe Card (that Antonio found at an antique store & he’s loved it ever since) 

Ingredients:

  • 1 eggplant
  • 1 box of Cento Breadcrumbs (Italian seasoned!) 
  • A few (2-3) eggs (as much needed to coat the eggplant) 
  • Some flour (again, to coat the eggplant) 
  • Marinara sauce
  • Mozzarella cheese
  • Salt & black Pepper
  • Olive oil
  • Parsley 
  1. Prep! Slice your eggplant in long, thin strips lengthwise. Once you're done, sprinkle some salt on each slice and, after a few minutes, dab it dry. This will make sure our eggplants are crispy! Whisk some eggs in a bowl and add some salt and pepper to the eggs. Also add your breadcrumbs to a separate bowl and your flour to a separate bowl.
  2. Bread your eggplant. Dip your eggplant in the flour -> then egg mixture -> then breadcrumbs. Put to the side and add your olive oil to a pan and heat it up to medium. At the same time, preheat your oven to 375 Fahrenheit.
  3. Fry the eggplant strips. Until they’re golden brown on each side. Once done, place the fried eggplant strips onto a baking sheet.
  4. Bake the eggplant. Add some Marinara sauce on each eggplant and follow it up with mozzarella cheese (the amount depends on your taste). When done, bake your eggplants for about 10-15 minutes (check for the cheese to be melted, but make sure you’re not burning your eggplants).
  5. And voila! Sprinkle some parsley and you’re ready to eat! A little birdie told me that Antonio is quite a big fan of his with a lot of Marinara sauce, but to each their own!