Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Soulmates were fiction.

Now, if Kim Dokja had his way, a lot of fictional things would become reality. Having wings would be great to avoid having to take the subway. Making a deal with a demon for untold riches would be even better; there was no difference between losing his soul to an evil spirit or to capitalism anyway, except the demon would at least let him laze about until his death. Being isekaied? He would miss modern plumbing, but it would be worth it to never have to see his colleagues again.

Having a soulmate, though. Would it fall under the “good” or the “bad” column? He had been having this debate with himself for years. Of course, the idea that there was someone out there who would see you and all your flaws and still accept you, someone who you could belong to unreservedly, was ridiculous. But if Kim Dokja looked at it like a thought exercise… Well. In theory, it might be nice. Right? When he mused on it, he thought it would not be the most terrible thing in the world.

But then Yoo Joonghyuk’s struggles would hit a little too close to home, and Kim Dokja would feel that it was just as well that he would never know the pain of his favorite protagonist.

Yoo Joonghyuk had a soulmate. Soulmates were an integral part of the universe of Three Ways to Survive in a Ruined World, although few characters found their match in the middle of an apocalypse. Yoo Joonghyuk wasn’t one of the lucky ones. Regression after regression, he went through the scenarios without the other half of his soul.

At the beginning of the novel, he was always searching for them. He questioned his allies, he investigated every lead, he even bargained with constellations for intel. As time went by, there were more and more turns in which he hid his soulmark and convinced himself that this absence wasn’t one more gnawing wound in his flesh. But always, inevitably, he came back to the search. For the promise of someone who could see and understand all that he was, Yoo Joonghyuk would drag himself through broken glass, over and over again.

Kim Dokja had questioned the author on this multiple times. Yoo Joonghyuk hadn’t unearthed new leads in hundreds of regressions, he would argue. Why continue dragging this tired plotline if Author-nim had no intention of letting him find whoever it was? Couldn’t they give him some kind of closure at last? There was more than enough going on in the scenarios without keeping that one subplot dangling. They might as well let him put his old search to rest and find solace in the arms of his first love Lee Seolhwa, who he had left behind when the obsession had gotten too consuming.

tls123 never replied to those messages.

Granted, maybe Kim Dokja was too pushy in those. He tried to be polite, generally. But Yoo Joonghyuk’s grief and anger at each one of his failures frayed Kim Dokja’s nerves like nothing else.

It felt like Kim Dokja was letting him down.

It was nonsense, of course. But since that passage in the very first chapter that had described Yoo Joonghyuk’s soulmark, Kim Dokja had never been able to look away from his pain.

It was just coincidence that the description of Yoo Joonghyuk’s mark matched exactly with the quirky birthmark on Kim Dokja’s chest. Just a fluke.

Even though it might have been nice if…

Whatever. Soulmates were fiction.

Dokkaebis were fiction. Three Ways to Survive in a Ruined World was definitely a fictional story.

So why… why didn’t Kim Dokja feel like he was dreaming?

Half of the subway car’s passengers lay dead on the floor. Blood had splattered all over the white faces of the survivors. The small and fluffy creature floating in the air, the creature that had killed all those people, laughed.

[Now, do you finally understand? This isn’t the “reality” that you know.]

No. No, Kim Dokja didn’t understand. He watched what was happening as if from a great distance, like a pane of glass had fallen between him and the world.

The surreality of the moment only heightened when Han Myungoh, of all people, tried to bribe the dokkaebi. One of the prime jerks of Kim Dokja’s company was offering money to a creature born from his favorite novel. The dokkaebi scoffed at the offer and snapped his fingers. Blue windows popped into existence all over the car. One appeared in front of Kim Dokja’s eyes.

[Good luck, everyone,] the dokkaebi said with one last bloodthirsty grin. [I expect to see an interesting story!]

He vanished.

Kim Dokja’s mouth went dry. System windows… the Star Stream… a dokkaebi… Then this was really…

He could hear Yoo Sangah talking to him, asking what they should do, but it was all white noise to his ears.

A commanding voice rose over the panicked din in the car.

“Okay, everybody! Please calm down. Take some deep breaths.”

The person talking this way was a tall and sturdy man. He stood among the survivors, who turned to him, eager for someone to take charge.

“Are you calm yet? Please stop your actions and pay attention to me for a moment.”

The young man took a government card out of his wallet and brandished it.

“I am currently an army lieutenant serving in the 6502 unit,” he said, but Kim Dokja heard nothing else after that.

As soon as he saw the name written on the card, his ears started buzzing again.

‘Army lieutenant Lee Hyunsung.’

If this man was real… If Steel Sword Lee Hyunsung was standing in front of him, then…

Kim Dokja took out his phone and frantically opened the text file he had just received. Lee Hyunsung always appeared in the story as soon as the first scenario finished. Then, if Lee Hyunsung was here, that man couldn’t be far…

His finger stopped on the paragraph he wanted.

He saw people gathered at the back door of the 3707 carriage. The wheel of the lighter he held tightly in his hand was cold. In this life, he absolutely couldn’t make a mistake. He would use any means for his purpose.

The 3707 carriage. Kim Dokja looked up. Above the door, the number 3807 was inscribed.

Then, the carriage just in front of this one…

Kim Dokja elbowed his way through the other passengers, deaf to the agitation his sudden movement caused. He reached for the door at the end of the car, but his hand was repulsed by painful static.

Kim Dokja shook his smarting hand. His eyes were on the door’s window. Through the pane, the dancing light of a fire was starting to filter.

Against the backdrop of flames, a wide and dark back could be seen.

Kim Dokja stared numbly at the system message. He looked at that dark silhouette again, then down at the blue window.

A skill.

Him, Kim Dokja, had a skill. Just like a character.

Just like Yoo Joonghyuk.

The people behind him backed up screaming from the door.

“Fire! There is a fire!”

Only Kim Dokja stayed where he was. His hand pressed against the force field. If the passage hadn’t been barred to him, would he have had the courage to cross this door? He pressed harder. The pain was the only thing forcing him to acknowledge that this was real.

His breathing froze in his lungs.

That dark head had turned. One eye was peering at him, aloof as a god staring at an ant.

The brow lowered. The disinterest faded as an anomaly was registered.

Yoo Joonghyuk turned and faced him.

‘Oh, fuck,’ Kim Dokja thought, and his heart gave a traitorous lurch.

He understood why Ways of Survival’s description of its protagonist was so short now. Thousands of words waxing poetry about Yoo Joonghyuk’s beauty still wouldn’t have done him justice.

Their eyes held for a long, suspended moment.

“Dokja-ssi…”

It was Yoo Sangah’s voice that snapped Kim Dokja out of his trance. She had backed up next to him, though she stared warily at the other passengers. Despite Lee Hyunsung’s attempts to reassure everyone, the reality of what was happening had finally hit them. The prime minister had just died on their phone screens. Muffled screams could be heard coming from the 3907 carriage. The 3807 passengers had retreated from each other. Fear and suspicion were thick in the air.

But what came out of Yoo Sangah’s mouth, incredibly, was:

“A-are you okay?” She threw a look at the door. “That other car… do you know someone?”

Kim Dokja glanced back too. Yoo Joonghyuk had turned away to contend with an enemy rushing at him. Was that the terrorist Choi Hangyu? The man looked unhinged enough for it.

Something ugly tried to bubble out of Kim Dokja’s throat. There hadn’t been any terrorist on this train. That was the setting of a novel.

He turned his back to carriage 3707. Immediately, he felt steadier.

“I’m fine.”

He couldn’t think about Yoo Joonghyuk anymore, nor about the impossibility of what was happening. Like it or not, he was living in the novel now. If he didn’t do something, he would also die in the novel. Carriage 3807 was only meant to have two survivors.

His eyes roved around the train. Lee Hyunsung’s tall figure stood stricken, too timid to act now that his hierarchy couldn’t give him orders. A white-haired teenager who had been leaning against the wall surged forward and slapped a sobbing elderly woman.

“Shit, would you shut up?”

The badge attached to his high school uniform read ‘Kim Namwoon’.

That’s right. Those two had already shown up.

Yoo Sangah flinched as the slaps kept landing on the old woman. Finally, as no one else moved, she strove forward.

“Stop this!”

Kim Dokja had to admire her. With no clue of what was going on, she was finding her footing astonishingly fast. However, Kim Namwoon only glanced at her with open scorn.

“Lady, do you want to die?”

“You…!”

“Hey, you understand the situation, right? The army isn’t coming to rescue us, and somebody must die. We will die if we don’t kill. It’s beyond our control, so who will blame us? Are you going to die in the end because of your morals?”

Indeed, that was Kim Namwoon for you. Only abnormal people like him could adapt so fast to an abnormal world.

Ways of Survival was Kim Dokja’s favorite novel. Of course, he had daydreamed many times about what he would do if he one day found himself in the story. He tried to remember those half-formed plans, but realized with dismay that he had already compromised them.

Yoo Joonghyuk had noticed him. He already knew something was strange in carriage 3807. A man he had never seen before had stared at him like a loon through the door. If Kim Dokja made it out of that train, no matter what, he would be suspicious.

A shiver ran down Kim Dokja’s spine. Fine. Yoo Joonghyuk could be incredibly dangerous to unknown elements, but that was fine. Kim Dokja had a way to fend him off.

Ugh, that skill. Kim Dokja impatiently brushed the notification away. If there was no way for him to stay under the radar, he might as well intervene now.

“Wait,” he said. Yoo Sangah’s shaky eyes turned to him along with everyone else. His strong voice seemed to give her hope. “There is no need for us to become killers.”

“What is that coward ahjussi saying now?” Kim Namwoon scoffed.

Kim Dokja stepped closer to a child huddled in the aisle. The boy stared at him with wide eyes.

“Excuse me,” Kim Dokja told him.

He took the insect carrier from the boy. Quietly, he slipped one of the locusts inside into the child’s hand. Then he straightened up and offered the carrier for inspection.

“Have you forgotten? The scenario clear condition isn’t to kill a person.”

“Insects!” some quick-witted person screamed. “Give me one!”

In a moment, it was a stampede. Kim Dokja only had time to grab the chubbiest locust and to throw the carrier to the other side of the car. A squirming mass of limbs took off after the released insects.

Kim Dokja squeezed his hand.

Kim Namwoon leaned back from the old woman.

“Hey, why did you do that? Couldn’t you have just given them the insects?” he said, cracking his neck, as he stared curiously at Kim Dokja.

“There are twelve people remaining.”

“Huh?”

“There were three insects left in the carrier.”

Kim Namwoon frowned for a moment before smiling broadly.

“Twelve to three? Hahahaha! Yes. Not all of them can survive anyway? So you threw that thing?”

Kim Dokja didn’t answer.

“Don’t make me laugh. A person with common sense wouldn’t do that.” Kim Namwoon’s smile widened. “Tell me honestly. You just wanted to see this scene, didn’t you?”

He was going to be a problem, wasn’t he? Kim Dokja’s fist stayed closed around the dead locust. He hesitated. If he burst the locust’s eggs now, he could buy advancements to his stats that would be invaluable if he couldn’t reason with Kim Namwoon. But then there could really only be five survivors in carriage 3807.

As he tried to recall everything he knew about early-novel Kim Namwoon, a new window popped up in front of him.

Oh. That was interesting…

Let’s see.

As expected, that was a pretty good starting level. Meanwhile, despite all his efforts, Kim Dokja couldn’t access his own Attribute Window. However, he had a feeling that his stats would look much lamer than this.

“Team up with me,” Kim Namwoon said. “How about it?”

That was an unexpected offer.

Honestly, Kim Dokja wasn’t fond of Kim Namwoon. He was a madman, and too difficult to control for anyone but Yoo Joonghyuk. If Kim Dokja had his way, he would rather see Kim Namwoon fail the first scenario.

But Kim Namwoon was one of Yoo Joonghyuk’s precious companions. Kim Dokja didn’t want to start their acquaintance by costing him something.

“It’s difficult,” he said calmly.

“What?” Kim Namwoon laughed.

“Rather, how about you team up with me?”

Kim Namwoon laughed uproariously.

“What is that? Old man, are you trying to get me to work for you? I’m nobody’s minion, you know!”

“I’ll make it worth your while. You want to become strong, right? I know someone really strong. I’ll introduce you.”

“Oh yeah?” he said with contempt. “How strong can they be?”

Kim Dokja’s sole answer was to point to carriage 3707. Kim Namwoon glanced at it. His eyes widened.

Against his best judgment, Kim Dokja found himself looking too. By now, a furnace raged in the car. Only one man was still alive. The smoke didn’t seem to inconvenience him. He stood in the middle of the aisle, focused on the events in their car. His dark eyes glittered when Kim Dokja met them.

“Damn,” Kim Namwoon breathed in awe. “That guy does look cool. You really know him, Ahjussi? You’re not lying to me, are you?”

Kim Dokja was caught under those eyes like an insect in a spider’s web. He shouldn’t have looked.

He found himself parting his lips. The words slipped out as if in a dream.

“He’s my soulmate.”

The system window shocked him out of his daze. He couldn’t believe he had said that aloud. He hadn’t let himself utter something so absurd since he had left behind adolescence and its whims.

But there was a reason why he had said it to Kim Namwoon, of all people.

“Shit!” the boy said, wide-eyed. “For real? Lucky bastard!”

That was all. No incredulity, no laughter. None of the taunts that would have poured out of his high school bullies if they had heard him say something like that.

Because Kim Namwoon was a character. And in his world, soulmates weren’t fiction, but reality.

“You know what, deal! You’d better keep your word, Ahjussi!”

Kim Dokja didn’t dare look at Yoo Joonghyuk again. He hadn’t reacted to Kim Dokja’s words, so the glass was too smudged for him to have read his lips. Small mercies.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me,” Kim Namwoon said, turning to the old woman again.

The trembling woman looked at him with huge eyes. Kim Namwoon took a knife out of his pocket and flicked it open. Kim Dokja caught his arm.

“What are you doing?” he said, keeping his exasperation silent.

Damn this psychopath.

“What? I still have to finish this scenario, you know.”

Of course he wouldn’t try to catch one of the insects. There might not be any left by now anyway. The scuffle in the car was still ongoing, but a few people had already stopped searching. Something unwound in Kim Dokja’s chest when he saw Yoo Sangah standing next to Lee Hyunsung.

“Leave the grandmother alone,” Kim Dokja said.

“What? Hey, Ahjussi, don’t tell me you’re one of those hypocrites…”

Kim Namwoon’s smile was turning dangerous. Kim Dokja cut him off.

“Leave her alone and I’ll give you something better.”

Reluctantly curious, Kim Namwoon let go of the old woman’s collar. Kim Dokja put the dead locust in his hand. Kim Namwoon grimaced.

“Are you fucking…”

“Squeeze it.”

“What?”

“Eggs also count as living beings. Squeeze it.”

Looking at Kim Dokja with the same disgust he had had for his gift, Kim Namwoon pointedly dropped the insect on the ground and stepped on it. His face lit up at the countless system messages that popped up in front of his face.

“Hey! Wicked! Haha, what’s that? The ‘Mass Murderer’ achievement?”

Kim Dokja kept his sigh to himself. There went a perfectly good scenario accelerator. Although, come to think of it…

“Give me half the coins and I’ll show you something even better.”

“How do I do that?”

Kim Namwoon’s eagerness was frankly disturbing. He didn’t want a teenage psychopath to look at him with such shiny eyes.

As he showed Kim Namwoon how to transfer coins, then how to use the ones he had left to level up his stats, the timer suspended under the car’s roof reached zero.

In carriage 3807, people’s heads started exploding. One, two, three… Kim Namwoon stared at the scene with a mix of fascination and morbid glee. Kim Dokja hauled him out of the way just in time for the spray of blood from the grandmother’s head to miss him. Kim Namwoon gave a weird laugh. He seemed entranced.

Kim Dokja also looked. There was no use denying it any longer. His world had changed.

When everything was over, there were six people left standing in the car. Him, Kim Namwoon, Lee Hyunsung, Yoo Sangah, Han Myungoh and the kid who had caught the insects.

With a screech, the train started moving again. Soon, they left the tunnel. The light of dusk flooded in through the windows. The Han River and a devastated Seoul spread out in front of them.

So it had. But as he watched the scenery with his shocked companions, Kim Dokja could only feel that this was really just a beginning.

Ah, yes. Those guys were also here. He had to be careful with what he said from now on.

... He should have been careful even earlier than this, actually.

The train stopped again and the dokkaebi reappeared to blink at them in curiosity.

[Wow, amazing. For twenty-two people to be connected to my channel… Haha, it looks like something interesting happened here while I was watching the other carriages? Welcome, constellations!]

He waved at the little stars floating above his head, then peered at the humans.

[The number of survivors is quite high?]

“Six out of twelve,” Kim Namwoon sneered as if disappointed. “Hey, Ahjussi, isn’t it a good bargain for a bunch of bugs? Haha!”

The other survivors watched him warily. Kim Namwoon’s attitude toward Kim Dokja was pretty good for now, though. He seemed to have decided that Kim Dokja was a profitable person to cast his lot with. Now, as for the others…

“Are you injured, Yoo Sangah-ssi?” he asked.

She gave him a wan smile.

“I’m alright. How is Dokja-ssi?”

“I’m also alright.”

“Dokja-ssi… you’re surprisingly… Ah. No, it’s nothing.”

She threw a terse glance at Kim Namwoon. Of course someone like Yoo Sangah wouldn’t take kindly to a person like him. She couldn’t approve of Kim Dokja earning his good will. He was sorry about that, but for the early scenarios, Kim Namwoon was a more interesting ally than a woman whose future performance Kim Dokja knew nothing about.

Come to think of it, there were four of them who weren’t characters. Kim Dokja’s eyes slid over Han Myungoh, ignoring the department head currently blustering at the dokkaebi, and fell on the child.

“Kid.”

At his voice, the boy looked up from the corpse of the woman he had been traveling with. There were bandages under his sleeves. His eyes were glassy from something that looked more like fear than grief.

If this had happened to him when he was the boy’s age, would Kim Dokja have looked any different? Despite himself, his voice gentled.

“Do you want to live?”

Shakily, the boy nodded. Kim Dokja nodded back.

“Then let’s go together.”

The boy slowly shuffled closer to his legs.

“Heh?” Kim Namwoon said in distaste. “Ahjussi, you’re going to lug a little kid around? Why are you pretending to be a bleeding heart?”

He couldn’t see the windows that had appeared to Kim Dokja’s sight, but the reminder of his own hypocrisy left a bitter taste in Kim Dokja’s mouth.

That’s right. He was a hypocrite. He was only taking in the child to make a good impression. But he wasn’t Yoo Joonghyuk, was he? He had to find his own way to survive.

“Kim Namwoon, enough!” Lee Hyunsung intervened. “After everything that happened, why do you have to provoke others?”

“What do you want, soldier man?” the teenager sneered. “Don’t get on my case. If you annoy me too much…” He made a slicing motion across his neck with his pocketknife, his smirk wild.

Lee Hyunsung ignored him and turned to Kim Dokja.

“Ah, hello. I am Lee Hyunsung.”

Kim Dokja took the hand offered to him.

“Nice to meet you, Lee Hyunsung-ssi. I’m Kim Dokja.”

“I wanted to thank you. If it wasn’t for Kim Dokja-ssi… even if I had lived, I wouldn’t have been able to live as a person. Thank you so much.”

Steel Sword Lee Hyunsung bowed deeply. It left Kim Dokja with complicated feelings. Lee Hyunsung would have lived with or without him. All he had done was throw a bunch of bugs across a room. Yet somehow, it had been enough to earn him the respect of both of Yoo Joonghyuk’s earliest allies…

That was good, undeniably. But wasn’t it too easy?

He threw a look over his shoulder. He was too far from the door to carriage 3707 to see the man through it, but it didn’t keep him from feeling a heavy gaze burrowing into his back. Thankfully, the force field was still up.

[Hellooo,] the dokkaebi sang. [Are you guys done gossiping in the back of the classroom?]

It seemed he had gotten bored of his argument with Han Myungoh. He was lounging in mid-air and leveling an unimpressed look on them.

[I’m trying to give you lot a reward, but if you’re not interested, maybe I won’t waste my breath.]

“A reward?” Kim Namwoon said.

The dokkaebi promptly perked up. He proceeded to explain the Sponsor Selection to his rapt audience. Kim Dokja alone tuned him out, hyperaware of the storm cloud brewing in the next car over.

Finally, the selection window opened in front of his eyes.

Oh, four propositions? That was pretty good for the selection of the first scenario. Let’s see.

The first modifier set off a little warmth in his chest. Demon-like Judge of Fire… As one of his favorite characters from the 999th turn, Archangel Uriel was certainly a good option.

Next… Prisoner of the Golden Headband! Kim Dokja’s eyes bugged out at the name. Now that was a very good option. He had no idea why Sun Wukong was interested, but it was enough to make him hesitate at following his initial plan.

Then… Secretive Plotter? He didn’t know this modifier. Probably not a very strong constellation.

And finally… Weaver of the Twin Threads of Fate??? Heat bloomed on Kim Dokja’s cheeks.

This constellation didn’t appear a lot in Ways of Survival. Unlike most of the constellations in the novel, she wasn’t inspired by real historical or mythical figures. She was only here to provide depth to the soulmate mechanism. In Ways of Survival, each corner of the world had developed mythology pertaining to the soulmarks. Weaver of the Twin Threads of Fate was one of those goddesses, an unnamed entity who appeared periodically to lament on Yoo Joonghyuk’s fruitless search. He had negotiated with her once, but she had been unable to give him more information on his missing soulmate.

And now she was offering to sponsor Kim Dokja. Had she offered the same to Yoo Joonghyuk? If she had, he was bound to have noticed. She had never before appeared on his list of possible sponsors.

How had Kim Dokja managed to dig such a deep grave for himself in just one scenario?

He closed the window with a decisive jab of a finger. The Sponsor Selection ended.

A thousand coins just for the Sponsor Selection? Kim Dokja tried not to goggle. Maybe he should rescind his opinion on that guy. He had to be rich if he could afford to blow that kind of money on the early scenarios. What had Kim Dokja done to please him so much?

Hey, now, no fighting. Or at least, no fighting outside of a donation fight. He wouldn’t mind it if Sun Wukong chose to outbid Secretive Plotter.

Sadly, that didn’t happen.

At least those two were getting along. If only they could do it outside of his notifications.

[Haha, it looks like there was an interesting choice,] the dokkaebi said, his beady eyes on Kim Dokja. [Well, it’s true that there will be another chance. Now, everyone, rest here for a while. I have to go prepare the next scenario. I’ll see you in ten minutes!]

No sooner had the creature disappeared that there was a loud metallic bang. They all turned toward the front car.

Another deafening bang rent the air. A dent appeared in the thick door.

Shit. The force field was gone.