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Uraume is at one of their properties in Hokkaido when Kenjaku drops by. He brushes the snow off his shoulders as he breezes past them into the living room, completely ignoring the disgruntled look on their face.
“Uraume-san, I’m surprised.” He says as he makes himself comfortable on the sofa.
“What do you want now, Kenjaku?” Uraume just sighs and pours themselves more wine. It was supposed to be a nice night where they could be alone, but Kenjaku just had to show up and ruin it.
“Oh, I was just passing by… But Uraume-san, I really am surprised! Playing house for so long with the Sorcerer Killer, one might think you’ve gone soft… but you’re still looking for his fingers. How many have you found? Four?”
Uraume stays quiet. They have ten of Sukuna’s fingers, but Kenjaku doesn’t know this, and they have no intention of telling him.
“You know my goal hasn’t changed in the slightest.” they say.
“So if I asked you to kill him…” Kenjaku asks, slipping around them to pour himself a glass of wine.
“I’m dedicated to my goal, not stupid. If you want to challenge a trained assassin with Heavenly Restriction, be my guest, but I’m not going to stop you from getting killed. Besides…” They give Kenjaku a smile, sharp and cold like the winter winds. “He’s a useful tool. I showed him the slightest scrap of affection, and now he chases after me like a dog.”
“Ah, I know that feeling. Men who have never felt loved, ignoring all the warning signs to be with you after you show them love.” Kenjaku laughs. “My Jin is like that too.”
“Plus, look at what I’ve achieved. In the eyes of Jujutsu society, I’m a respectable sorcerer. Gojo trusts me, the higher ups think I can be used. I have access to the young, impressionable teenagers of the schools, Jujutsu personnel, and even Tengen themselves.” Uraume says as they take a sip from their own wine glass.
Kenjaku stares at Uraume for a moment, then he starts laughing. Saliva drips down Kaori’s mouth and from the scars on her forehead as Kenjaku momentarily loses control.
“Oh, you’re more ruthless than I thought, Uraume-san!”
1
Before Uraume goes back to Tokyo, they stop by the House of the Children of the Star, aka where Geto’s cult is. It’s a stupid name for a cult headquarters, but then again, Uraume didn’t name it.
“Geto-sama! Uraume-san has come for a visit!” Mimiko and Nanako crowd around them excitedly. Uraume gives them both a pat on the head and a box of melon steam cakes from Hokkaido.
“Sensei.” Geto greets them warmly.
“You seem to be in high spirits, Geto.”
“Well, not having to listen to rotten old men really does wonders for one’s skin.” Geto smiles.
I’m sure certain things from Gojo also do wonders for your skin, Uraume thinks, but doesn’t say out loud.
“I need to talk to you in private. It’s important.”
2
“So what was it that you needed to tell me?” They’re in one of the many private consulting rooms. It’s a beautiful room with traditional Japanese decor, and they both sit seiza at the low table. Green tea has already been prepared by Geto’s secretary, a lovely young woman by the name of Suda Manami.
“I don’t know if Gojo has told you this, but…” Uraume considers what they’re about to say next. “Have you seen a person with a line of stitches on their foreheads? They should be… a tall, black haired woman.”
“Can’t say I have. Why do you ask?”
Uraume explains. Geto makes a disgusted face.
“Ew. A body-hopping curse user? And you think he’s going to aim to take over my body?” He scrunches up his face at the thought.
“Exactly. So be careful, Geto.”
“Of course.”
“I do wonder why Gojo hasn’t told you about him yet.” Uraume remarks as they take a sip of their tea.
“Well… Satoru can be quite silly at times. He forgets that he can rely on others now, instead of taking everything upon himself.” Geto smiles sadly. “I’ll do anything to protect this Satoru.”
Stop speaking in riddles or I swear to Lord Sukuna, I’m going to lock you two in a room until you spill all your secrets to each other, Uraume thinks as they leave the cult with a bunch of little gifts for Tsumiki and Megumi.
God, gay people.
3
Gojo barges into the staff room at Tokyo Jujutsu High with an overly gift wrapped box in his hands.
“Heyyy Uraume~ I have a gift for you!” Since becoming a teacher, he’s stopped calling Uraume ‘sensei’. Well, it’s not like he showed anyone (bar Yaga) any respect in the first place anyways.
“That’s unusual for you.”
“Shh… where’s my souvenirs? Gimme souvenirs and I’ll give you your gift.”
Uraume sighs and tosses him a box of Nama caramel candy. Gojo whoops and yeets the box at them. With each layer of gift wrap that is peeled off, Uraume’s patience runs lower, but any and all complaints are stopped when they see what’s under all those layers.
“Is this…” Their eyes widen as they stare down at the box in their hands.
“Tada! One Prison Realm for my second favourite sensei!”
“Where did you even get it?” Uraume pokes it. It jiggles a little and its eyes blink.
“From some guy in Russia with a fluffy hat. Don’t worry, I left a fake in its place. It looks and feels exactly the same, but when you try to open it, it spits out candy like a pinata!” Gojo giggles, then goes off to bother Shoko.
Uraume cannot wait to see the look on Kenjaku’s face when the fake prison realm doesn’t work.
4
“So this curse user has noticed Megumi and Tsumiki?” Toji asks. There’s a dangerous glint in his eyes, and he looks like he’s about two seconds away from pulling out the Inverted Spear of Heaven from Wormy.
Uraume nods.
“And I can’t just kill him?”
“Unfortunately. I do have a plan, though it might involve some acting… By the way, I’m sorry in advance for ruining your reputation.” Uraume says as they make a speedy getaway and speed walk away from Toji.
“Hey, hold on, Ume. What do you mean by that?” Toji calls out. When Uraume doesn’t respond, he gives chase.
5
Ever the master of avoiding awkward conversations, Uraume decides to run off to Geto’s cult and bother him instead.
“… Time travel?” They ask.
“What?”
“No, not a time traveller… Did you get isekaied? Are you from an alternate universe?”
Geto freezes for a split second.
“So you’re from another universe.” Uraume smiles, like a cat that’s caught the canary. He sighs and under their watchful eye, explains.
Unlike Gojo, who came from a different part in the timeline, Geto comes from a different universe where instead of Geto defecting, Gojo went insane after the Star Plasma Vessel mission and became a tyrant ruler over Jujutsu Society, killing everyone who opposed his rule.
“Something probably went wrong when he fixed his head back then…” Geto says quietly.
Without the higher ups, Geto went on to become a teacher at Tokyo Jujutsu High. He still ended up taking in Mimiko and Nanako, but also took in a bunch of orphans from the clans (y’know, after Gojo killed their parents.). Gojo’s rule wasn’t… terrible, but as the years went on he became insanely possessive of Geto, to the point of restricting him from leaving the school at all.
Gojo’s rule didn’t stop sorcerers from dying to curses, and while experimenting with creating stronger cursed tools, Geto made a mistake that led to his untimely demise.
“And then I found myself in 2005, about to start my first year at Tokyo Jujutsu High. I only realised this was a different universe when you showed up, and when Satoru didn’t go insane.”
“Interesting. What was I like in your universe?”
Geto looks away, avoiding Uraume’s gaze. Uraume just stares at him, awaiting an answer.
“… Very obsessed with Sukuna, the King of Curses. I met the other you once, and you nearly froze my arm off. But you’re not obsessed with Sukuna here, right?“
Now it’s Uraume’s turn to look away.
“You’re not obsessed with Sukuna, right?” Geto asks again, the smile slowly slipping off his face.
“…”
“…“
“I think I left the stove on at home-”
“Get back here, sensei!”
6
“Her name was Haruhi. Fushiguro Haruhi. ‘Haru’ from ‘spring’, ‘hi’ from ‘princess’.” Uraume looks up as Toji speaks.
It’s just the two of them tonight, cuddling on the sofa, a documentary of some sorts playing on the TV. Megumi and Tsumiki have turned in early. Wormy, ever the loyal pet, lies on the rug in front of them, little legs kicking in its sleep.
“She had a sharp tongue and good reflexes, but she was gentle and kind to those who deserved it. She was a bartender, working part time as she went to college for a nursing degree… Her biggest mistake was getting involved with a man like me.”
“Don’t say that. You’re a good man, Toji.”
Toji shakes his head at that, gives a self-deprecating laugh.
“We’ve been together all these years, Uraume. I know there’s a lot more to you that you’re not telling me, and what you’re hiding is way more than what your fake documents have. The Gojo brat knows some of it, the other squinty eyed brat knows more, but you’ve never revealed more than necessary.”
Under the dimmed lights, Toji looks like a panther, looming over them with intent. Uraume’s heart skips a beat, and it's not from fear.
“Will you tell me, Uraume?”
7
“Tsumiki… she’s…”
“Megumi, breathe. What happened?”
“She… They say they found her unconscious… We’re at the hospital now.”
The phone slips from Uraume’s hands and falls to the floor with a loud crack.
I’m going to kill Kenjaku.
~
Bonus:
“Why are you so mad, Uraume-san? This is a good thing for Tsumiki-chan!”
“Shut up, Kenjaku.” Uraume grits their teeth and sends out another wave of ice at him.
“She’ll get to have cursed energy, just like sweet little Megumi-kun!” Kenjaku says as he dodges.
“If you don’t remove that woman’s soul from Tsumiki… It’ll be hard to keep my cover.”
“We’ll make a Binding Vow.” The words stop Uraume directly in their tracks.
“I will heal Fushiguro Tsumiki completely, removing the foreign soul of Yorozu. In return… You cannot tell anyone about the connection between Itadori Jin, Itadori Kaori, and Ryomen Sukuna.” Kenjaku purrs out.
Uraume is not going to remind Kenjaku that nothing in the Binding Vow required them to keep quiet about the relationship between Itadori Kaori and Kenjaku, or the relationship between Itadori Yuuji and Kenjaku.
If they wanted, they could tell everyone that Kenjaku gripped the sheets so Yuuji could be a menace in the streets. It’s tempting… but Uraume still needs Kenjaku as an ally for now, and Kenjaku knows this, so they both know Uraume won’t tell.
This is the best plan for Sukuna’s incarnation.