Chapter Text
Shaw finished with a groan, his eyes closing briefly in bliss as he pulled himself away, grunting at the chilly air that now surrounded him. Shoving the other body aside, he rolled over and collapsed on the right-hand side of the bed, smiling slightly when soft, pale fingers drew the covers up around his torso. Just as they were about to withdraw, Shaw struck out with his own hand and tangled his fingers together with those of his bed-partner, drawing them back to his chest.
‘That was lovely, my sweet,’ he said generously, squeezing the other’s hand and enjoying the limpness of the returning squeeze, a sure-indicator that the other was exhausted. ‘Very, very nice indeed.’
Charlie raised his head at that and blushed, his smile full of pride. Murmuring a word of thanks, he leaned down over Sebastian and placed a sweet, hot kiss on his mouth, which Shaw benevolently permitted. When the kiss began to get too heated, however, Shaw sighed and pushed Charlie’s head away.
‘Not now, pet,’ he said sternly, causing Charlie to pull away with a disappointed look that quickly turned petulant. Shaking his head and rolling his eyes fondly, Shaw reached out with his left arm and allowed Charlie to snuggle into his shoulder instead. Charlie, taking advantage of this unexpected intimacy, closed his eyes and hummed happily, snuggling in as close as he could.
Shaw smiled as Charlie wriggled up against him, feeling content.
‘There’s something about you, pet,’ he sighed, his fingers lightly tracing Charlie’s skin. ‘I don’t know what it is, but I just can’t get enough of you. No matter what I do. No matter how many times I have you.’ His mouth suddenly quirked up at that, as if in some private little joke. ‘And believe me,’ he murmured, ‘I have had you more times than you could possible know.’ His smirk faded after a moment, however, and his brows turned down so that he looked almost puzzled. ‘And yet … and yet …’
Charlie’s eyes peered up at him curiously from where he was buried in Sebastian’s shoulder. Shaw eyed him for a moment, a contemplative, almost clinical look on his face as he inspected Charlie. Then, humming to himself, he turned his head back again so that it was resting firmly on the pillow.
‘You know I’ve had you in every way possible?’ he mused, eyes on the ceiling even as the fingers of his left hand idly stroked up and down Charlie’s flank. ‘In every sort of state and mood and position? Willing, unwilling … frightened, desperate. Insatiable,’ he smirked at the memory. ‘Aroused. Virginal. Awake, asleep … in love with me,’ he added wryly, angling his head towards Charlie who looked back at him with a bemused yet doting smile. ‘Every single way that I could think of. And yet, every time – every time – there’s been something missing.’
Charlie gave him a bewildered look, blinking his big doe eyes at him. He cocked his head when Shaw paused, a confused, helpless smile coming to his lips.
‘I think you must have bumped your head, Seb darling,’ he said with a short hesitant laugh. ‘You’re not making any sense.’
Shaw smiled.
‘Never you mind, pet,’ he said affectionately, lifting his fingers to stroke through Charlie’s hair. ‘You just zip that clever little mouth of yours and go back to looking pretty for me. Now, as I was saying,’ he continued, his tone once more contemplative, ‘There’s always been something missing. Something that’s not … natural. Even when I make it so that you’re – let’s say unreceptive – to my advances, there’s something not quite right. Something … unsatisfying. And I can’t for the life for me figure out what it is.’
Charlie squirmed slightly, an oddly anxious look edging onto his face. His confusion was more palpable now, Sebastian’s words seeming to make him more than a little uncomfortable.
‘Seb,’ he began, biting his lip worriedly, ‘I’m not quite sure what you’re saying, but-’ He was cut off by Sebastian’s hand suddenly tightening its grasp on his hair.
‘What did I say about keeping that mouth of yours zipped, hmm?’ Shaw asked, his tone sweet but his eyes hard and his grip firm. He used his grasp on Charlie’s hair to shake him, causing a quiet gasp to leave Charlie’s lips. ‘Now, you go back to being a good little boy, or I’m going to be very unhappy with you. You wouldn’t want me to be unhappy with you, would you, pet?’
Charlie swallowed and for a moment there seemed to be a flash of real fear in his eyes. It was wiped away almost instantly, however, and a second later Charlie smiled and coyly lowered his gaze.
‘I always want you to be happy with me, Seb,’ he murmured, glancing up at Shaw from under his eyelashes.
Shaw smiled at that and released his grip on Charlie’s hair.
‘Good boy,’ he said, petting him gently. ‘Now don’t interrupt me again. As I was saying,’ he continued, ‘something is off. And I can’t understand it. I’ve tried everything that I can think of – I’ve even had you be as close to being Professor Charles Xavier as it is possible to be without actually being him, and yet … and yet it’s still not right.’ He turned to look Charlie in the eye. ‘There’s something wrong, pet, and I can’t quite put my finger on what it is.’
Charlie looked up at him with wide blue eyes.
Shaw slowly reached out a hand and drew a gentle finger down the side of Charlie’s face.
‘It’s not you, pet,’ he said softly, ‘It’s not your fault. You’re doing everything that I want, everything that I ask of you. But the fact of the matter is, you’re not him.’ And there was a sudden flash of rage in Shaw’s eyes, of jealousy and lust and possession. ‘Whatever I do, whatever I make you do, you’re still not him. You’re still not him and he still doesn’t know. He doesn’t know what I’m doing to him because I’m not doing it to him, not really.’ He tenderly brushed his thumb against Charlie’s lower lip. ‘And while you’re wonderful, dearest – truly a pleasure to be with – as long as I don’t have him, it won’t be enough. You’ll always be second best.’
Charlie pouted at that, looking hurt even though he obviously didn’t have the slightest clue what Shaw was talking about. As Shaw watched, a look of doubt entered Charlie’s expression and he began to chew on his lip in an anxious sort of way, his eyes flicking up to Shaw’s every few seconds with a vague sort of apprehension. Shaw, finding himself filled with an odd feeling of tenderness, gave him a rueful smile.
‘Oh, don’t worry, pet,’ he said gently, stroking Charlie’s cheek again. ‘I’ll never replace you. I’ll always have you. Always. I promise. It’s just a foolish whim, no more.’ He smiled and his fingers suddenly twisted into a harsh grip as he clutched Charlie’s chin tightly. ‘After all, why would I want anybody else when you serve me so well?’ He tightened his grasp on Charlie’s face before roughly shoving him down his body towards the foot of the bed. ‘You will serve me, won’t you, pet? Won’t you, my pretty little whore?’
Charlie’s wide, innocent eyes met his. That sweet red mouth then turned up in a secret smile before slowly lowering down, eyes never leaving Sebastian’s.
Shaw let out a muted gasp at the first touch, before he then closed his eyes, his hands sinking roughly into the thick hair below him.
He was merely being greedy, he told himself. After all, why on earth would he want anything else when he still had this?
And yet something black and hungry still coiled in his gut, wanting and lusting after the one thing that he wanted but could not have.
Yet.