Archive of Our Own

The snow fell steadily, blanketing the now empty streets. White extended all the way forward, as far as his eyes could see. The world around him was wrapped in a gray undertone, something the rest of the world had grown used to seeing. 

The only thing he’d see for the rest of his life.

He had come to terms with the idea since he was old enough to hear stories about people that claimed the world wasn’t always blanketed by that grey undertone. That the world held colors beyond one’s imagination, but said stories were told by people who supposedly found their soulmates. Halves finding themselves to make a whole. It was all bullshit, Lan Wangji would tell himself, though the use of such a distasteful word at such a young age was against the rules of discipline and virtue. Still, the description didn’t fall short to describe what he thought. 

The proof was with his parents. He remembers hearing his uncle berating both his parents, cursing his own brother’s stubbornness and stupidity for falling for his mother. How he claimed his brother was a liar when he claimed his mother was his soulmate. No one had proof of it other than his own word, not even the elders were able to prove the theory, but Lan Wangji did. The last night he saw his mother, Lan Wangji asked a question he had been dying to ask. 

He was sitting on his mother’s lap while she brushed his hair. It was something she’d loved to do, and Lan Wangji never stopped her despite knowing his brother had brushed his hair that morning. The motion was soothing, making him sluggish with sleep even if it wasn’t close to the Lan strict sleep time. “A-Zhan, do you have a question?” She asked quietly, chuckling when Lan Wangji’s small frame tensed up more than it already was. A few seconds go by before he nods once. 

His mother hums in acknowledgment, giving permission for her youngest child to ask the question that had been roaming freely in his head. He had to ask, it was serving as a huge distraction from his studies. Lips part open, though his voice comes out more hushed than he anticipated. “A-Niang… What… What color are the gentians in the garden?”

The comb gliding through his hair falters on its movement, and Lan Wangji waits… he waits and waits for the answer. He waits for it when his mother resumes combing his hair, he waits as she ties the Lan sacred ribbon across his forehead, the light blue center jewel sitting cold against his skin. 

Lan Wangji waits… 

“What a big question…” His mother hums finally, but is still not an answer.

“Lying is forbidden…” Lan Wangji murmurs, his voice getting lost in the quiet sounds of the night. He didn’t know if he recited it as a warning or a reminder…

A lighthearted chuckle rumbles in his mother’s chest, “So it’s sneaking out of your room to see your A-Niang..”

“I shall receive punishment.” The little Lan said with conviction.

“A-Zhan,” she teases as she picks up her youngest son and accommodates him on her lap, so they can see eye to eye. The same muted golden eyes stare back at him. Despite the world around him being grey and deprived of the so called colors, his mother’s eyes were the only thing Lan Wangji could say had color. Yet, they looked to have much less light. More than usual. It could’ve been a trick of the light since Lan Wangji was so used to seeing her during the day. It was the first time he had seen her under the moonlight. “I won’t let them punish you.”

There’s a long pause between them. He knows his mother is stalling by how she plays with his hair, brushing two strands to frame his face before adjusting his forehead ribbon. Lan Wangji waits… and waits. He’d wait forever if allowed, because deep down he really doesn’t want to know the answer. He wanted to believe everything his mother had told him, how he’d someday find that one person that would make him feel whole. Someone that would love him so fiercely that it would hurt to part. Someone that would take the time to learn little things about him, what was his favorite snack or which flower was his favorite. Lan Wangji wanted to believe that… The drumming in his heart intensifies when a quiet sigh falls from his mother’s lips. 

Lan Wangji soon learns that it was a mistake to ask the question, because he would’ve done anything… anything to take away that sorrowful look from his mother’s eyes. Years of solitude and grief cast a heavy veil over them, “They’re the same as they have always been, baobie.” 

The memory dissolves when he hears a soft sneeze followed by a cough. Lan Wangji welcomed the intervention since every time he remembered that confession the disappointment that came with it was too much to bear. Not to mention how sad his mother looked while she spoke those last words to him… it was simply too crushing for his still little heart. 

The snowfall got heavier the more they walked through the empty street which only meant the cold became harsher. It rattled him to the bone, causing him to lean closer to his older brother. Before he could focus on his measured steps, the same cough caught his attention again, this time it was loud enough for Lan Wangji to stop on his tracks and search for it, the grip he had on his brother’s robe long forgotten. 

His feet crunch against the fluffed snow, his gaze alert in search for the poor soul that the cough belonged to. It wasn’t until he walked past an alley that he saw him, a small bundle of tattered rags barely covering the trembling frame of a boy. Lan Wangji stared at him, brows drawing together with mild concern. Did the boy live in the streets…? Where were his parents…? Before he notices, his legs carry him closer to him. It wasn’t until Lan Wangji was fully in front of him that the boy noticed his presence. It had startled him greatly, causing him to hug his frame tighter.

“A-Ying d-didn’t take anything… p-promise…” the boy, A-Ying, said with a trembling voice. Why would he say that? Lan Wangji only tilts his head in confusion since he really didn’t say anything, or accused the boy of taking something. 

Is he supposed to say something? Reassure the boy? It felt like he should, but his lips remained pressed tightly. Before he could muster the courage to speak, A-Ying had lifted his head and gazed at him with round, grey eyes. It wasn’t long until a bright, warm smile appeared on his face. It made Lan Wangji suck in a breath and clutch the rattle drum his uncle had bought for him for comfort. 

“Hello!” He beams, shoulders relaxing as he moves forward. It’s only when A-Ying leans forward that Lan Wangji notices that he doesn’t have any shoes, a frown soon taking place. He must be freezing… yet he held the warmest smile he had ever seen. 

It was rude to stare, Wangji knew that, but he couldn’t help but look at the sorry state the other boy was in. The tattered robes clinging to dear life on his body barely covered his legs… not to mention the bruises and scratches all over his arms. He should go get his uncle, he’ll know what to do. With new determination to help A-Ying, he looks around to get his uncle, only to realize it was just the two of them in the vast space of white and fluttering snowflakes. 

Oh, this is not good… he couldn’t see either his brother or uncle. This is what happens when he acts on impulse instead of thinking and waiting, but how could he not act when there was someone that needed help. He was only applying what his Sect promotes, what he’s learned from both his uncle’s and mother's teachings. However, despite finding himself in this predicament, Lan Wangji couldn’t be more proud, and terrified, of himself for taking the initiative. His mother would be proud…

“Are you lost?” A-Ying asks worriedly, taking the little Lan out of his thoughts. Lan Wangji fully turns towards the boy and nods slowly. It wasn’t a lie, since he was separated he did get lost. “No worry! A-Ying will help you find your A-Niang and A-Die! M-Maybe my A-Niang and A-Die are with yours too!”

At the mention of his parents, Lan Wangji can’t help but to stare down at his own feet, shuffling with discomfort. “Shufu…” Lan Wangji whispers, “A-Niang won’t open the door.”

“Oh… Shufu, then! No be sad or worried, A-Ying helps!” The boy reassures with confidence as he stands on his feet. However, the boy quickly loses his balance and falls back down, a wince crossing his face. 

Lan Wangji surges forward, worry creasing his brows. Before the little Lan could wrap his hands on A-Ying’s arm to help the other waves him off. “Sorry… A-Ying is fine. A-Ying just silly.” He laughs off, but Lan Wangji can now see several scratches and bite marks on A-Ying’s leg. There was a darkened crimson stain on the snow right where he had been sitting, which only meant A-Ying had been bleeding this entire time. 

“A-Ying is hurt…” the Lan observes. He should really go find his uncle and brother, but he can’t leave A-Ying alone. What if he walks away and can’t find him again? 

Maybe if he…

Lan Wangji slowly drops to his knees, sinking into the fluffy snow. A shiver runs up his spine when the cold seeps through his robes, but it doesn’t deter him from what he’s doing. He takes a hold of the front of his skirt and easily tears a chunk of the soft white fabric.

At the sound of fabric being ripped A-Ying begins to panic and wave his hands frantically in order to stop the pretty boy with the forehead ribbon and nice robes. The cloud motif adorning said ribbon and robes sparked a memory from his parents, A-Ying recalls his A-Niang talking with fondness and a light teasing tone about cultivator friends that wore white and blue robes, and a forehead ribbon. But he can’t remember what she said about them… if only he could remember…

“W-What are you doing to your pretty robes??” A-Ying almost shrieks in panic. He almost goes to shove the other boy when a rattle drum is placed in his hands as a distraction. It works since the boy settles down as he tentatively plays with it.

“A-Ying is hurt.” Lan Wangji repeats stubbornly, wrapping the piece of fabric around the biggest gash. He’s cautious and gentle as he does, careful to not touch A-Ying’s skin. It was already enough that he just started taking care of the injury without really asking for the other boy’s consent. Blood soon soaks the cloth, but at least is covered and protected from the harsh weather.

Grey eyes stare widely at his now bandaged leg. No one had ever stopped to take care of him ever since he lost his parents. People that walked down the streets that saw him would usually stir away, or yell at him for being in the way. People would look at him with disgust and beat him for searching the trash for scraps… not to mention the dogs… 

The dogs were the scariest things. 

It wasn’t the cold or the rain, or the fact he had to sleep on the dirt and hope for best things to come the next day. It wasn’t the worry he felt for his parents losing their way back to him… None of that scared A-Ying. Sharp canines sinking on his already frail body while viciously growling was what struck fear in the young child. 

Before he realized, tears ran warm down his dirty cheeks. He didn’t mean to cry… A-Ying tried to get the tears to stop spilling by harshly rubbing his eyes, which caught the Lan child’s attention. 

At first, Lan Wangji thought he had tied the piece of cloth too tight and had made the other boy uncomfortable. A knot settles heavy in his throat, blocking any words from coming out. Panic slowly spreads through his chest as his mind grows blank. He didn’t know what to do to make things better… to stop the boy from crying. 

A-Ying sniffles softly, roughly wiping the last few stray tears. “Sorry… sorry.” He mumbles as he tries to stand, this time succeeding since now his wound was more or less taken care of. A-Ying wipes his face, “Thank you, gongzi, for helping A-Ying. A-Ying help find gongzi’s shufu.” 

A smile soon returns to A-Ying’s face, bringing comfort to Lan Wangji. A-Ying starts to walk, bare feet sinking into the snow with each step. Lan Wangji doesn’t miss the trembles racking through his frame as he takes the lead. His gaze falls on the fluffy white cloak draped over his shoulders, fingers fiddling with the warm lining. With his mind made up, Lan Wangji hurries in front of A-Ying, silently placing his hand in front of the other’s chest. He unclasps the cloak with the Gusu Lan Cloud emblem, lets it fall from his shoulders and swiftly drapes it over A-Ying’s trembling frame.

The action clearly startles the other boy who had already started to back away. “W-Wait! Gongzi—“

“Need to stay warm.” Lan Wangji says, his focus fully on clasping his cloak over A-Ying’s neck. Now without the extra layer shielding his body, Lan Wangji could feel the cold more than he did. It makes him shudder, but it’s worth it now that A-Ying was warm. Even more so when A-Ying instantly melts and burrows into the warmth of the cloak with a sigh full of relief. 

Before they continue, Lan Wangji makes sure to bring the hood up to shield A-Ying as much as he can from the heavy snowfall. Their eyes meet for a brief moment, and Lan Wangji can’t help but to gaze at them. For a second he wonders what color A-Ying’s eyes truly are, but the thought soon disappears when he hears someone calling his name. 

Both boys turn towards the voice, but they can’t see anyone since the snowfall has increased significantly ever since they crossed paths. “Shufu.” Lan Wangji calls, though his voice gets lost in the raging wind carrying the crystalized snowflakes.

“Is that your shufu?” A-Ying asks to which Lan Wangji nods in response. “Lets go, then! Follow me!”

It happened too fast for Lan Wangji to react. A-Ying had grabbed his hand without a second thought and started dragging the younger Lan towards his uncle. The sudden contact had taken him off guard, but what he didn’t expect was an electric shock to run through his body followed by everything around him becoming too bright. The snow seemed brighter, even if the clouds covered the sun from touching the white landscape. He had to blink the discomfort away, and that’s when he saw it. 

The boy in front of him was covered in bright colors. The cloak Lan Wangji had given him was pristine white with vivid yet light blue accents. His eyes grew wide with fear at what he was seeing, even more so when A-Ying turned around to face him. Blush adorned A-Ying’s cheek and nose in bright pink, to the point it almost hurt his eyes. Just as A-Ying looked at him, seemingly having the same reaction as the Lan, he had come to a full stop to gawk at him with awe.

A-Ying’s eyes were glittering, shiny silver as they gazed at blinding gold ones. The grip on Lan Wangji’s hand seemed to tighten as the other boy inspected him. The action has his gaze falling on their conjoined hands, a blazing red ribbon tied on his small wrist. His eyes follow the blacks and blues blooming like painful flowers up his arm, the dark grey tattered robes clinging to A-Ying’s body. 

It was too much to process, too much to take. It scared and overwhelmed Lan Wangji to the point of harshly pushing the boy away with a soft grunt.

Both boys fall to the ground with a soft oof, though A-Ying was confused at the sudden change of heart whilst Lan Wangji only crawls backwards and away. The grey undertone blanketed his own world once more, the sight comforting to the little Lan. Everything was cold and bland, just like he knows things should be. 

A-Ying stared at him wide eyed, confusion and mild hurt in his eyes as he propped himself on his thin, wounded arms. If it weren’t for his now exposed head, and the pale blue accent of the cloak, he would’ve blended to perfection with the empty scenery. “W-Why did y-you push—“

“Wangji!” Lan Quiren called with relief, instantly grabbing and swooping the child with ease onto his arms. “Are you hurt?” 

Seeing the older man towering in front of him like a defense tower has A-Ying scrambling backwards and away from the trio. A whimper escapes the child which takes Lan Qiren’s attention from his nephew to the boy laying in the snow. Worry is replaced with anger, a look A-Ying has grown used to seeing on people that would lay eyes on him. Silver eyes shift from the angry man to the boy that had helped him, searching for an answer but the child had his back facing towards him. A-Ying doesn’t understand what he did wrong, but he wanted to apologize anyways. The gongzi had been so nice to him… it’s the least he can do.

“Um… I-I… A-Yin—“

“What did you do to my nephew?! Did you steal from him?” Lan Qiren almost shouts, his question being answered as his cold gaze falls on his younger nephew’s cloak. “That does not belong to you.”

A-Ying began to panic. No. No no, he’s wrong! He didn’t steal anything. He would never steal! A-Niang would be disappointed if A-Ying ever stole. The child wanted to defend himself against the accusation, but his lips wouldn’t part to let the words out. Instead he just looks at the child, silently praying that he would help him clear the misunderstanding.

But he only remained silent.

Understanding dawns on the young boy. He’s not mad… he’s not angry. At the end, A-Ying is glad to have helped him back to his family. A-Ying holds the rattle drum close to his chest, staggering on his feet as he stands. The boy bows as best as he can, just like his A-Niang and A-Die had taught him to convey his respect and sorry. Before the older man can scold him some more, A-Ying turns and runs away.

He runs as fast as he can until he’s swallowed by the falling snow. 

It was only when A-Ying had disappeared that Lan Wangji had called after him, regret settling in his chest like ice cold stone. How could he let this happen? How could Lan Wangji shove the only person that had been nice to him? How could he let his uncle accuse him of something he never did? A-Ying helped him… and he wanted to help A-Ying. Tears are quick to well in his eyes because he failed at being good. He failed his mother… he failed—

“Everything is alright, Wangji. Don’t be scared.”

“Gege is sorry.” Lan Xichen whispers next to him.

Lan Wangji shakes his head furiously. He needs to apologize. It’s the right thing to do! Because deep down he knows what he saw, what made the little Lan panic, couldn’t be real. It wasn’t real for his mother so there was no way the world he saw for a few moments was real. And because of his carelessness, A-Ying ran away.

Both older brother and uncle look at each other with concern when Lan Wangji hides his face. It was the first time they had seen him so upset, but it was enough to have the three of them moving and seeking shelter from the growing blizzard.

After they had settled, and Lan Wangji had calmed down, he fully explained what truly happened. How he found A-Ying in an alley and how he gave him his cloak cause he had nothing to protect himself from the cold. Him and Lan Xichen had stayed behind while their uncle ventured outside once more. His expression had changed significantly when Lan Wangji mentioned A-Ying’s name, as if he had seen a ghost. It sparked Lan Wangji’s curiosity, but he had decided that he had been impulsive enough for the day.

Lan Xichen brushed his hair, both of them sitting in silence listening to the raging winds making the whole inn creak and groan. Anxiety made his stomach turn but he did his best to keep himself calm. Of course that wouldn’t fool his older brother. “Shufu will be okay. There’s no need to worry.” His brother assured, but Lan Wangji’s concern lay on someone else. 

The candle light kept the room fairly lit, both his and Lan Xichen’s shadow settling on the wall in a soft silhouette. Even with the bright little fire flickering on it couldn’t compare to how bright the outside had seemed… no, it wasn’t real. The colors weren’t real… the warmth he felt when A-Ying touched his hand wasn’t real…

Hands ball into tight fists on top of his lap, nails digging into his palms. He needs to get his emotions under control. Feeling too much is against the rules. Breaking the rules only brings pain… Lan Wangji should’ve learned from the first time he broke them…

This time, though, he won’t forget the consequences of breaking the rules.

The door to their room opens slowly, revealing a snow covered Lan Quiren. Hope blooms in his traitorous heart as golden eyes search next to his uncle, expecting to find a shivering bundle but of course there was no one else. Disappointment sits heavy on Lan Wangji’s shoulders as they slump ever so slightly. 

“Did you find him, shufu?” Lan Xichen asked for his younger brother. Lan Wangji couldn’t be but more grateful for it. 

Lan Wangji’s heart sinks further when his uncle shakes his head as he unclasps his cloak, neatly folds it and sets it down on the small table in the middle of their room. “If that boy is who I think it is then he is just as slippery as his mother.” The older man says with a sigh, “I’ll search for him one more time before we head back to Gusu.”

He snaps his head towards his uncle, eyes filled with worry. He takes a brief look outside the window, sucking in a breath when he notices the blizzard has gotten worse since his uncle had arrived. “Shufu.” He whispers with urgency, a million thoughts crossing through his mind concerning A-Ying’s safety. If anything happened…

“There is not much to be done other than pray he has found shelter.” Lan Qiren responds, “We should rest.”

Helplessness is evident in his features yet all he can do is nod in response. The discussion had come to an end as the family of three prepared for bed. Sleep was evasive for the little Lan who kept looking out the window and praying for the boy’s safety. He thought how bright he looked, despite the tiredness and hunger clinging to his bones. 

He felt so warm… like stepping into the sun after being under the protective shade of a cherry blossom tree for a long time.

In the darkness he looks at his hand, just where A-Ying’s fingers had laced with his. He had been so focused on what was going on he didn’t have time to gather himself, or his thoughts, but now his heart was thumping frantically. The child closes his hand tightly, slowly bringing it to his chest. 

Lan Wangji trusts that A-Ying will be okay…

When morning came, and the snow settled, A-Ying had been nowhere to be found. With a heavy heart in the youngest Jade’s chest, and a silent prayer, the family of three headed back to Gusu. 

“The lectures will begin in a week.” Lan Xichen mentioned over tea, “I believe it’ll be good to join just this once.”

It was the same suggestion, at the same time, for the past three years. Each time, Lan Wangji rejected it with a graceful shake of his head. 

The last drop of the dark amber liquid falls in the tea cup, creating a soft ripple before stilling. The cup is placed in front of the older Twin Jade before another one is served. While holding the cup of tea in his hands, Lan Wangji couldn’t help but gaze out the window of the Jingshi. Pale pink, almost looking white due to the low vibrancy, petals flutter down, carried by the spring gentle breeze. He knew his brother meant well, but it was all a waste of time in Lan Wangji’s opinion. 

He doesn’t have time for trivial matters, let alone to make friends. 

It’s not a top priority for him. Not like anyone wanted to be near him either way. Lan Wangji was fine with that. He would rather put all his energy towards bettering his skills and being an useful asset to his sect, to be the perfect role model of what a respectable cultivator should be.

“Just… give it a thought.” His brother pressed before taking a sip of tea. “I heard the group joining us this year is promising.”

Lan Wangji lets out a steady breath, setting his cup down after finishing the warm content. He supposes it won’t hurt to indulge his brother just this once, and he also wanted to see how promising this group of juniors really is.

The night was quiet, the world already lulled to sleep by nature's quiet chatters and murmurs. The moon bathes his home in a silvery blanket. It was definitely one of his favorite things to witness, to enjoy despite the world around him being devoid of color. 

What a cruel world they lived in.

The young Twin Jade strolled down the familiar path, listening to anything out of place. 

A week had gone by in a flash. Faster than Lan Wangji would’ve liked. To his brother’s delight, he had agreed to assist the lectures this year, even if he already knew most of the things his uncle would be teaching. The guest disciples had all arrived earlier that day during his meditation time, so he didn’t really get to see any of the juniors that would be staying in the Cloud Recesses for the upcoming year. He just hopes choosing to attend this time around is not a mistake. 

Lan Wangji breathes out through his nose, willing his mind and thoughts to calm once more. It did nothing to get ahead of himself. If he deemed his time wasted then he can simply continue his studies in seclusion, just like he did throughout his childhood.

“Let’s go then! Follow me!”

The memory comes crashing to him like a freezing wave, causing him to slightly stumble. He hadn’t thought about that day in years. Even the memory seemed muddy, which caused his heart to clench. Now that he is older he knows he acted selfishly towards that boy. Lan Wangji can only hope he made it out safely. If they ever crossed paths again… well, it’ll be something fate will have to decide. 

Fate had already decided, yet you refused to admit it. A tiny voice reminded him. He sighs, frustration bubbling in his chest. This is not the time to let his emotions get the best of him. It was an incident that happened years ago, and who knows what he saw was even real…

The best thing to do is move forward.

Lan Wangji continues through the path, a harsh shadow casting over him when he reached the walls that protected his home. Separating them from the rest of the world. He couldn’t help but wonder… if it would make a difference if these walls weren’t here. Or perhaps, if everyone that lived within the quiet, prestigious sect felt the same way about them. His hand leaves the hilt of Bichen for just a moment, a childish need to just let his fingers graze the stone cold fixture taking over him. As soon as his fingertips hovered over it a rustling sound caught his attention. 

“Gods… why is this wall so damn high—“ someone grunts from the other side of the wall. 

Lan Wangji stands guard, body tensing as he retracts his hand to place it back on his sword. He looks down at the pastel blue yaopei strapped to his sash. It didn’t send off a signal that the wards had been breached. It couldn’t be someone from the sect, it was past curfew after all. No Lan disciple would break the rules like that, and Lan Wangji couldn’t recall anyone being out on a night-hunt. There’s no room for doubt that there was an intruder sneaking into the Cloud Recesses. He won’t let him get far.

He jumps onto the wall, swift and silently. Robes swoosh as he lands on top of it, back straightening as his gaze falls on the intruder who had also landed on top of the wall. There’s a smile full of mischief dancing on his lips as he glances with pride at the two dark jars held by a dull red string. Not a threat, Lan Wangji thinks to himself as he assesses the situation but that doesn’t mean he’s letting his guard down. 

A boy, just about his age, stood in front of him, moonlight bathing him in an ethereal glow. A faded red ribbon tied around a mess of inky hair in a high ponytail. There was a sword strapped to his left side, golden hilt that melted in a series of spirals down the scabbard. Clearly a cultivator. A talented one if he was able to sneak past the wards. Black robes with red accents hugged his body, and a bell hung from the red sash wrapped around his waist. A bell… Where has he seen cultivators wearing a bell…? Well, whoever this is, he clearly is breaking the rules.

“Hah, can’t believe how easy it was to sneak in and out…” The boy chuckles quietly, the statement makes Lan Wangji bristle. How dare he speak that way? His hand tightens around Bichen in a weak attempt to stop himself from unsheathing his weapon. “Okay, let's see how good you– AAAH!”

Finally the other had noticed his presence. The other boy jumped back, holding the jars close to his chest. Really? Was he more concerned about those jars than his own safety?

He shakes his head, already tired of the whole interaction. “State your purpose.” Lan Wangji says evenly.

The boy blinks before tilting his head in confusion. Grey eyes scan him up and down, briefly stopping on his forehead ribbon. Understanding dawns on him. Lan Wangji is clearly not prepared for the smile that lights up his entire face. His heart leaps in his chest, and suddenly Lan Wangji feels winded. He feels his knees wobbling, only for a split second. What in the world is happening to him? The grip on his sword only tightens, the engravings digging into his palm as though it helps him ground himself. 

“Ah, I was careless. I usually don’t get caught.” The boy starts, sneakily hiding jars behind his back. “It’s quite embarrassing, really. You see, I’m here for the lectures!” The boy’s voice is smooth, full of a charm Lan Wangji has never heard before. It makes his chest feel constricted. Lan Wangji does not like the effect it has on him. The young cultivator takes a step as he leans forward, still inspecting him. “I seemed to have lost my way to the guest quarters. One of my shidi forgot something very important to them at one of the tea houses we stopped on our way here, so I, being the good Shixiong I am, went back to get it.”

Lan Wangji watches him carefully. He moves along the tiled rooftop with grace, hopping closely with each step, as if playing a game. The teen continues his tale, “Alas, once I returned the wards were up!”

“Entry is not allowed after curfew.” Lan Wangji recites, “Only after mao time will you be granted entry. Get out.”

The other’s eyes grow wide with genuine surprise, it makes Lan Wangji’s brows furrow. If this young cultivator claims to be a guest for the lectures then he must know the rules. The Wall of Discipline is just at the gates. “After mao? But… Lan-Gongzi, where am I supposed to sleep? My clan is waiting for me.”

“No entry allowed past curfew. Only after mao time will you be granted entry.” Lan Wangji repeats, a bit more clearer just in case the other teen didn’t hear him the first time. Gods, does he hate to repeat himself. “Now, step off the wall.”

The other teen huffs, a small pout overtaking his features. Outrageous! 

Lan Wangji can only lift his eyebrow as he stares at the teen with the ponytail. He waits for him to follow as directed but he only stays rooted in place, lost in thought. The small pout is replaced by a mischievous smile, a playful glint shining in his eyes. “Lan-Gongzi no need to be so cold! I didn’t think your sect could be so cruel! I’ve barely missed the curfew, haven’t I? My shidi will be worried if I don’t return.”

The boy with the high ponytail hops closer, hands still behind his back. His words carry an air of innocence, a hint of truth. Foolishly, Lan Wangji almost believes him, almost considers letting him in. Until he hears the contents in the jars behind him sloshing with his movements. He exhales sharply through his nose as he regains his composure. His gaze is glued to the two jars, “What have you got there?” He asks, though he fears he already knows the answer.

“Oh, this?” The boy with the bright smile says as he lifts both jars in front of him, “Well, its Emperor’s Smile!” He waves the jars in front of Lan Wangji with one hand while he presses his other index finger against his lips. A wink follows soon after, “I’ll let you have one of them if you let me in, no one has to know!”

Is… Is he attempting to bribe him? Preposterous! He can feel a twitch under his eye and his jaw locking tightly, anger simmers slowly within his chest. “Alcohol is forbidden.”

“Eh? Of course it is. That’s a shame.” The other laments, tsking while shaking his head. “Is there anything fun to do around here?”

“The Wall of Discipline has all the rules listed. Go see for yourself.” Lan Wangji offers passively, even though the teen should know the rules by now. 

“The Wall of Discipline? Hah! Your sect has over 3,000 rules to follow. Who has the time to go over them?” The teen tosses casually with a wave of his hand. A sigh slips by, lips parting for a moment but soon clamping shut when he notices Lan Wangji’s cold glare. “Ah… Alright, alright. Guess I can just drink it here. You don’t mind, do you?”

Before Lan Wangji can even utter a thought to respond, the teen in the dark robes walks backwards towards a tree reaching over the rooftop, leaning against one of the branches. In an instant, the cover on top of the jar is gone, the cloth drifting mockingly to the ground. The boy tilts his head, pouring the wine into his mouth. How dare he mock him this way?! The audacity!

Sching! The sound of his sword unsheathing caught the boy’s attention just as he finished gulping the wine. The moonlight reflects on the white blade as he lets it rest on his side. Lan Wangji knows it's against the rules to pull his weapon on someone unarmed. He knows he is breaking the rules but how could he let this frivolous young cultivator disregard him, his sect and the rules like this. “Drinking alcohol is forbidden.” Lan Wangji grits, repeating himself yet again. 

The teen chuckles, “Technically, I’m not in your Cloud Recesses ground. I’m not breaking any–” Without giving it any other thought, Lan Wangji lunges towards the other teen, sword ready to strike. There is a smirk on the teen with the red ribbon, and that alone sparks something in his chest. In a series of quick steps, the other is fast to evade the first attack. He twirls as Bichen thrust forward, barely missing him. 

He’s fast, Lan Wangji notes silently. 

Golden gaze follows the other’s fluent movements. They dodge every strike, ducking and leaning backwards wherever the sword slashes. Lan Wangji continues his attack and, crazily, gets lost in the moment if only for a minute. No one had ever been able to keep up, let alone dodge his attacks so fluently. It almost made it feel like he was fighting against water, a steady yet strong stream that he couldn’t quite control or predict.

Who is this young cultivator?!

Lan Wangji steps back, holding Bichen in front of him. All this to say, the teen in front of him hadn’t once drawn his sword. There’s still a smirk drawn on his features, a challenging look in his grey eyes. The jar of Emperor’s smile sways in his hold. “That was fun!” He chuckles, “You’re fast! I almost broke a sweat. Almost.” 

The teen winks his way, and Lan Wangji swears he feels his skin becoming warm. Almost believes he can see red. If he can even tell what it would look like. “Well, I better get going. See ya around!”

Before the boy can make a run for it, Lan Wangji throws another attack in attempts to stop him. What he doesn’t expect is the teen to completely dodge. The blade stabs the empty air where his head should’ve been. In a swift motion, the teen uses the string attached to the jar of wine and wraps it around the base of the white sword and holds it in place. “Lan-Gongzi, attacking when I’m not looking? That’s a bit dishonest, don’t you think?”

It’s true. If he’s completely honest, Lan Wangji doesn’t know what came over him. It’s dishonorable to attack an opponent when their back is turned. Well, might as well follow through his actions. He exhales softly, shakily, as he calms his racing heart. With a twist of the blade, Lan Wangji cuts free the string holding him in place, sending the jar up in the air. The teen watches perplexed as it hovers for a second before descending and crashing. Unlike the other, Lan Wangji doesn’t flinch at the sound of broken pottery. Finally, he sheathes Bichen back in his scabbard and turns around.

“Hey! You owe me a jar!” The teen said furious, that playful tone in his voice disappearing. It shouldn’t satisfy him to hear him frustrated. “Do you have any idea how much that cost?”

Lan Wangji stayed silent, but did turn to offer a brief glance at the teen with the pale red ribbon. On the outside Lan Wangji looked bored, but his heart thundered wildly against his chest. Still hung up on the spar, no… it wasn’t a spar or even a fight. It was a dance between them, that description seemed to fit better. A dance between a calm lake and the wisps of a morning mist. 

Wind blows by them, robes and ribbons dancing along. Despite the frustration on the teen’s voice it wasn’t enough to hide the excitement and fire behind his eyes. Determination evident in his features. “I gotta hand it to you, Lan-Gongzi, you’re good. However, I didn’t even get to use my sword. Let’s spar again, Lan-Xiong! If I win then you have to get me more Emperor’s Smile!”

The boy salutes his farewell before hopping off the eaves, leaving Lan Wangji stunned speechless. 

What just happened?

By the time Lan Wangji had recovered himself, the teen was nowhere to be seen. Did… Did he just let someone get away without being punished? Him, the head of punishment and discipline, let someone get away without facing the consequences. 

He… honestly doesn’t know how to process what he’s feeling at this very moment. But he does know that there is no way he’s not reporting this, and now is certain that he’ll show up to the lectures. With an annoyance he had never felt before, Lan Wangji follows the path to the Jingshi. Just as he gets ready to end his night, the boy he had met all those years ago kept invading his thoughts. Only that… that smile kept shifting to the teen that shared a dance with him under the moonlight.

“Lan Zhan? Courtesy name Wangji? Tall and handsome, wears white Lan robes and wears a mourning expression as if in a funeral?

“Yeah, the very same!”

Wei Wuxian laughs, “No way! The Lan Zhan I met is definitely more fun than the one you’re painting.”

Lan Wangji did his best to ignore the small talk between the trio. Gossiping is forbidden, Lan Wangji recites in attempts to drown out their voices. His voice. 

That same morning the youngest twin Jade had marched up to his uncle’s residence to report his failure to apprehend the guest cultivator for breaking two three rules upon arrival. He was willing to receive punishment accordingly until his uncle asked him to stand from his kneeling position.

“This time we may let the incompetence slide.” His uncle sighed as he stroked his beard. 

Lan Wangji’s eyes grew wide, “Shufu?” He asked, concerned. Was his uncle ill? In his life he had never seen or heard of anyone, especially his uncle, let something slide like this. His uncle walked towards the window, humming in thought. 

“Wangji,” The elder starts, eyes vacantly gazing out the window. Clouds drift past the mountains, yet they weren’t dense enough to keep the sunlight hidden. Spring had arrived at their home, yet everything still looked faded and bland. The same as it has always been. “That young cultivator, Wei Wuxian, is the Head Disciple of the Yunmeng Jiang sect. A troublemaker at best. He is talented beyond his years, but extremely undisciplined.” 

Eyes grew wide as he listened. No wonder he had been such a match. Lan Wangji was more surprised to hear that he was a Head Disciple at all. He looked so young… Maybe he wasn’t lying about wanting to take care of a fellow shidi. Then again, it was hard to believe when he had clearly left past curfew and returned with Gusu’s famous wine. Irresponsible at best, and so undignified for his title. 

Lan Qiren continues, “With that said… he is also that same boy you tried to help nine years ago in the desolated town of Yiling.”

The revelation has Lan Wangji sucking a sharp breath. That… that was A-Ying? A-Ying was alive and well... He grew to be a distinguished cultivator like him. His heart picks up a rapid pace, relief and fear filling his chest all at once. How did he fail to see it? How did he fail to make the connection between the two? Of course it went over his head. The boy he remembered was covered in rags that barely protected him from the snow, inky hair loose in a mess of wavy locks that framed his thin face. 

What is he supposed to do with this new information? 

The boy that he had been worrying about ever since that day was here. He was all grown, alive and well… he was part of a well known sect, a head disciple. He was so different from what he remembered… but what he does remember is that he disappeared because Lan Wangji shoved him out of fear. Does he even remember Lan Wangji? It didn’t seem like it when they were on the rooftop the previous night… It was such a long time ago… he wouldn’t be surprised if A-Ying—Wei Ying—  felt a twinge of resentment towards him. 

His uncle is quick to pick the quiet distress from his nephew. A part of him was glad to see Wei Wuxian well. Not like he would admit it, but guilt plagued his mind for a few years after he lost track of Cangse Sanren’s and Wei Changze’s son. What happened to them was a tragedy, regrettably so that the cultivation world had lost two of the most talented cultivators he had the pleasure to meet. It was even sadder to think their son had perished with them, but when his nephew explained what happened that day… who he had wrongly accused of stealing and hurting his nephew… Lan Qiren had never felt greater regret to not find the boy and bring him to Gusu. 

At least Jiang Fengmian had found him. Someone more familiar and acquainted with the couple. Though… It looked like Wei Wuxian had inherited his mother’s carefree and rowdy behavior. It already proved to cause trouble to his dear nephew. Seeing how Lan Wangji had gone quieter than usual, distracted even, he’s not so sure if it was the correct thing to reveal such information to him. As much as he’s glad that Cangse Sanren’s son is well… he is not a good influence on Lan Wangji.

“Do what you must with this information, Wangji.” Lan Qiren spoke after a long pause, “But I advise you to be very cautious around Wei Wuxian. Do not let his behavior distract you from your own path.”

Lan Qiren’s words echoed in Lan Wangji’s mind, remembering the conversation that morning. He straightened himself, remembering his place. Though, he doesn’t stop his eyes from searching the teen with the pale red ribbon cascading down his ponytail. Brows draw together when he realizes Wei Wuxian had been looking at him this entire time, along with Jiang Wanyin and Nei Huaisang. 

“He’s targeted you.” Nei Huaisang says before opening his fan to hide himself.

Jiang Wanyin pats Wei Wuxian’s shoulder, “Good luck.” 

Wei Wuxian’s eyes stay on Lan Wangji for one more second before he sighs quietly, a pout making its way to his face. “Some friends I have.” He mumbles before the three take their respective place at the low tables,

His uncle is right, that was all in the past. Both the teens had completely different goals, and by the looks of it, both of them were polar opposite to each other. Lan Wangji fixed his gaze forward, ignoring the tickling itch that someone was watching him.

Things were not going accordingly.

Only on the first day of the lectures, Wei Wuxian had already gotten in trouble. Guess the leeway that Lan Qiren had given him was for nothing.

Not only that, a few days later he had caught Wei Wuxian attempting to cheat on a quiz. Absurd.

Lan Wangji had already arrived at the Library Pavilion at the exact time they had agreed upon. Earlier than that, actually. He sat at the low table, working on his own copy of the rules. Even if his uncle had absolved him from breaking the rules it didn’t mean Lan Wangji liked the fact that he did break them. He did let his emotions get the better of him, yet again, and had initiated their fight. 

Now that he knew who Wei Ying was, Lan Wangji had been thinking over if he should bring up what happened when they were kids, or if bringing it up would only make a fool of himself. 

He’s thinking too much. He shouldn’t be so stuck on something that only requires two actions. Do or don’t. Simple as that.

“I can’t believe you got me in trouble.” His voice traveled through the window, causing air to get caught in his lungs and his hand to stumble just at the end of the last stroke of a character. Wei Ying is not even present and he’s already making a fool of himself.

A steady exhale slips through his nose to calm his racing heart. Yes, he’ll be overseeing Wei Wuxian’s punishment but that doesn’t mean he has to interact with him. Interactions with the Jiang boy should be kept at a minimum if not completely nonexistent. 

The door to the library opens, letting a warm spring breeze in. He fights the urge to lift his gaze, restraining himself to finish his copy of the rules. 

“—It’s not like someone is gonna be supervising me.” Wei Wuxian replies with a sly smile, though it dies down when his own eyes land on the Twin Jade of Lan. “Oh… H-Hey, don’t leave me here— and they’re gone.” 

Finally, Lan Wangji lifts his eyes just to see the other closing the door to the library and unwillingly shuffling forward. The sound was irritating, but Lan Wangji ignored it. 

“Heeeyyy Lan Zhan.” The teen starts before letting himself fall on the other side of the low table, “Funny seeing you here. You know you don’t have to watch me, right? I’m very capable of copying the rules on my own!”

Wei Wuxian props his head on his arm, staring at him as if expecting something. It was a mistake to look at him back. Before he can give himself away, Lan Wangji directs his gaze to the paper where he was writing, attempting to continue as if unbothered by the other’s presence. Thankfully Wei Wuxian couldn’t hear how frantic his heartbeat was. 

Even if Wei Wuxian was just a teen he still had sharp features, like his jaw. He had a long neck, and definitely had gained a little bit of weight in his face. He was glad to know that Wei Ying didn’t suffer the hardships of the streets, or hunger any longer. What had stayed the same were his eyes, still full of wonder and brightness, even if dulled out by the lack of vibrancy. Not to forget his smile… It was still full of life and joy Lan Wangji could never begin to comprehend how Wei Wuxian managed to smile like that.

How did he do it? Wei Ying lost so much, faced such hardships at such a young age and yet still has the capacity to smile so widely. 

“Lan Zhan, are you listening?” Wei Wuxian asked. Embarrassment is quick to set Lan Wangji’s ears ablaze. How is it that he gets so distracted around him? He’s only met him twice now. He doesn’t understand… “Guess not. I said that we should just ditch this place and go somewhere fun! No one will know except us!”

Again with the bribery. Honestly, is this how he became head disciple? If so, Lan Wangji would only find that disappointing. “You need to copy the rules ten times. And sit properly.”

“But there’s so many rules! How am I expected to complete this in a day!” The teen complained, “Actually, I can write really fast! If I finish them then will you show me around?”

“The calligraphy must be legible.” Lan Wangji responds coolly, dipping his brush on the ink.

“What are you trying to say? That I don’t have good calligraphy? Hmph!” Wei Wuxian picks up a brush but only rolls it on top of the table. If he wanted to finish then he shouldn’t be wasting so much time complaining. It’s so counterproductive. “How about I only do one set? I promise I learned my lesson, and I won’t do it again.”

Lan Wangji just stays silent, clearly ignoring the several attempts to get out of the punishment. He has never met anyone who wanted to get out of punishment so badly. It was irritating and frustrating. He should be lucky he gets to sit while copying them, and not while doing handstands. There’s silence for a brief moment before he notices a hand slowly inching towards him. Panic strikes his heart, cause he knows doesn’t want to deal with what comes if they touch. And it might trigger Wei Ying’s memory. As smoothly as he can, Lan Wangji moves his hand away, and is glad when the teen doesn’t notice.

Instead, Wei Ying springs to his feet and rounds the low table, “It’s not nice to ignore a friend. C’mon, do you really wanna waste your time cooped up in here?” There’s only silence from the Lan, and maybe this time Wei Wuxian will take the hint but it only gave him more determination. “Wangji-Xiong?”

Silence.

“Lan Wangji.”

Nothing.

“Lan Zhan!”

A twitch under his eye. 

“Lan-er-ge~”

The brush stops moving, but the action is enough to send Wei Wuxian into a fit of laughter. He can only glare at the teen sitting against the table, unaware that he sat on his sleeve. “You’re too funny, Lan Zhan!” He laughs though it comes to an abrupt end when Wei Wuxian’s lips seal. 

Wei Wuxian brings his hands up in panic, humming loudly in an attempt to get his words out. Silver eyes glare pleadingly at the Lan after returning to his spot. Lan Wangji only stared at him before continuing with his writing. Only when he didn’t get a response is when Wei Ying grabs a piece of paper and writes quickly and shows it to Lan Wangji, begging for the Silencing Spell to be removed. Of course, Lan Wangji ignores the plea which causes the other to crumble the paper in annoyance. 

He grabs another paper and scribbles on it, this time taking a bit more time. Once presented to him, his eyebrow twitches just slightly. It was a drawing of a wolf looking at a chicken. Lan Wangji picks it and folds it neatly just to toss it in the disposal box. “Pathetic.” Lan Wangji says with annoyance, yet he finds himself removing the spell.

Wei Wuxian gasps loudly, “I thought I was gonna die! Lan Zhan, that’s so cruel of you!” He cried out dramatically, “What have I done to deserve this!”

For the first time in his life, Lan Wangji had to fight the urge to roll his eyes. He doesn’t roll them, though. “Speak again and you will be copying the rules 10 more times.”

The other teen gawks at him for a moment, a protest bubbling in his chest. However, the complaint never comes, instead he huffs quietly and actually begins to copy the rules.

Lan Wangji takes the small victory.

Two weeks have passed, and Lan Wangji doesn’t know how much longer his restraint will last. Both in annoyance and attraction.

Everyday both him and Wei Wuxian would meet in the Library Pavilion, whether it was by Wei Wuxian’s own will or against it.

Today was one of the days that Lan Wangji had to go searching for him. He doesn’t get it. 

Why hide from one’s responsibility when it would be over faster if he just stopped complaining? It was exhausting. Lan Wangji had never encountered such a problem before. When he would carry out punishment it would be taken in silence. It was time to reflect on one’s errors and mistakes. It was time to learn what not to do next time around.

Wei Wuxian would complain. He would be loud and tease Lan Wangji until he had to use the Silencing Spell. After a few times, even the silencing spell lost its true effect. Every time Wei Wuxian would be silenced he would just fill Lan Wangji’s side of the desk with random doodles and notes. It infuriated him to no end. 

Not to mention how little Wei Wuxian respected personal space. Lan Wangji had lost count of the amount of times Wei Wuxian came close to touching his hand. His reaction had been exaggerated, but he wasn’t ready for the Jiang teen to realize who he really is. After Wei Wuxian had accidentally (not really accidental) touched his arm, Lan Wangji had scrambled to his feet and had used the bookshelves in the library to keep his distance. Wei Wuxian had teased him endlessly for it. Calling him flinchy and comparing him to a small, frightened bunny.

Lan Wangji did not mind being compared to a bunny, and it annoyed him.

Now, Lan Wangji had grabbed him by the back of his robes and was dragging him towards the Library Pavilion.

“Lan Zhan! So mean! I don’t want to copy the dumb rules!” Wei Wuxian whined as he dragged him away from his martial brother and Nie Hauisang. “It’s not fair! I almost won, too!”

“Gambling is forbidden.” 

“It wasn’t even that type of gambling! We were betting loquats, what’s so bad about that?! Ow—! So rough!”

This time he didn’t bother replying to his cries. 

Wei Wuxian complained all the way to the library, and some while he copied the rules. Though he had quieted down for half an incense which had surprised Lan Wangji. Though as soon as he let out a breath the Jiang Head Disciple took that as an invitation to open his mouth.

“Lan Zhan, what do you do for fun?” Wei Ying asked, his focus on copying the rules. “Y’know, when you’re not babysitting me.” Lan Wangji was on the other end of the library, organizing some scrolls and booklets. If he just didn’t respond, or react, perhaps he’ll give up. “Lan Zhaaaaan, I know you heard me.”

Don’t react.

“Lan Zhan.”

Pretend you’re busy.

“Ignoring me won’t work.” He hears Wei Ying say. He can hear the smirk dancing in his words. “Ask Jiang Cheng. The Gods know he’s tried.” 

“…”

Wei Wuxian sighs from the table, “Fine, I’ll go first! I like going on night swims in the lotus lakes back home. Well, I like going swimming at any time of day! But there’s just something about swimming during nighttime. It’s relaxing. Oh, can’t forget about picking lotus seed pods! Everyone has to do that at least once!”

Lan Wangji found himself paying attention to his tale, the book in his hand forgotten. It sounded like Wei Ying was mostly active during the night if he went swimming often.

“Do you swim, Lan Zhan? I think you’d have fun in Yunmeng! You should come visit and we can go swimming together! I can show you around, too.” Wei Wuxian suggests with excitement, but is only greeted with silence. However, that doesn’t seem to deter him. “Anyways, I also like hunting pheasants! There’s not a lot of them around… ah, right. You can’t really hunt around here. I’d expect the place to be crawling with little animals since you guys don’t really kill. Wait, would you go hunting if it was outside the Cloud Recesses?”

“Resume copying.” Lan Wangji says instead, which earns him a groan in response.

“Yeah, yeah…” Golden eyes lifted from the book in his hands, briefly gazing at the other teen as he dipped the brush in the ink. It annoyed the heck out of him that his heart would skip several beats just by looking at him. He should probably get himself checked. Lan Wangji shakes his head and returns his attention to the book in his hands. “You know, it’ll be harder for you to make friends if you keep ignoring them. Luckily, you have me! There’s a lot of benefits to being my friend.”

Lan Wangji cannot see the benefit to being Wei Wuxian’s friend other than getting used to headaches. At the end of the day, Wei Wuxian wasn’t wrong. Then again, people tended to avoid him whenever they saw him. It was the norm, and Lan Wangji was content with that. His mother spent most of her days alone… he learned to treat loneliness as a friend from a young age. 

“How’s the book?” Wei Ying suddenly asks, “Haven’t really heard you turn a single page for a bit.”

He had forgotten entirely about the book in his hands. In a flustered manner, Lan Wangji shut the book close a little too loudly and shoved it in a random bookshelf. In an instant he turned his back to the teen, but that didn’t block the contained laughter from reaching his warm ears. 

“Wei Ying…!” Lan Wangji bites, attempting to control his breathing to calm his thoughts and heart rate.

“At least I know you were listening.” The teen giggles, “Now the next step is to— MMNNN?!”

Before Wei Wuxian could realize, Lan Wangji had casted the silencing spell on him, rendering him speechless while he attempted to compose himself. Wei Wuxian exhales sharply through his nose before letting himself fall onto the floor, arms and legs sprawled like a star. 

“Frivolous…!”

“You’re not hiding this time?”

“Nah, I’ve actually been having fun! Can’t see why people are so afraid of him.” Wei Wuxian adjusted the ribbon holding his ponytail as they walked out of class. A lopsided smile soon adorns his face, “Besides, I only have a couple of days left of my punishment, maybe with the extra free time he’ll finally join us!”

Jiang Cheng tsks while rolling his eyes, “You really are stupid for constantly pestering him. Do you really want to be on Lan Wangji’s bad side forever?”

“We are friends!” Wei Wuxian insists, “Lan Zhan may be a fuddy-duddy but he’s the funniest guy I’ve ever met!”

The trio continued their conversation as they headed to the dining hall. Lan Wangji could only watch with longing until they disappeared down the path. 

“You know… You can always join them for dinner.” Lan Xichen says as he slowly sneaks behind him. He has to cover a smile with his sleeve at how distressed his younger brother looked. 

“We dine in the same area.” Lan Wangji answers indifferently before heading towards the dining hall. 

The older Twin Jade soon follows, matching Lan Wangji’s unusual quick pace. “You know what I meant. It seems you and Wei-Gongzi are getting along.”

Lan Wangji doesn’t answer the question. What was the point of answering when his older brother already knew the answer? At least he’s having a blast watching him make a fool of himself. “His pointless flirtatious approaches are shameless. He has no regard for rules, or for proper etiquette. His talent is wasted in frivolous things…” 

Lan Xichen could only watch his younger brother with amusement. The outburst was almost endearing. He couldn’t help but remember the last time he got this flustered, which only happened whenever they visited their mother. It was clear as day as to why Lan Wangji seemed so attached to Wei Wuxian, not because they have already crossed paths before, but because the Jiang teen was a reminder of their mother.

“He is the definition of someone that’s as free as the rivers and lakes from his home.” Lan Xichen offers, “He’s something new and different from our usual monotony.”

The teen stays quiet, deeming the discussion over as he takes the lead. It made Lan Xichen happy to see his brother slowly coming out of his shell, and he couldn’t be more grateful for the chaotic storm that was the son of Cangse Sanren.

“Aiya, my poor wrist.” Wei Wuxian complained after setting his brush down. “I won’t be able to use my sword ever again! This is your sect’s evil doing, Lan Zhan!” 

“Ridiculous.” Is all Lan Wangji says in response, which only spurs a laugh out of the Jiang teen. 

Whether he liked it or not, Lan Wangji had gotten used to this little routine both he and Wei Ying had created. It was nice… steady, if you took the teasing away. But it also meant their hang outs were soon coming to an end. Lan Wangji tried really hard not to think about it, tried not to let it disturb his mind. Yet he found himself thinking about the end nearing every time he went to bed. Did Wei Ying feel the same way? Or was he excited to end this nightmare and go back to being his usual, chaotic self without Lan Wangji’s scrutinizing glare?

There’s quiet for a beat or two before Wei Wuxian speaks again. “Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you something. Hopefully you’ll reply.” The teen chuckles to himself. “How does your clan feel about soulmates? I mean, your founder, Lan An, fell in love once, right? I bet there’s a bunch of books talking about soulmates, huh?”

Lan Wangji felt his throat go dry as he swallowed air. Did Wei Ying figure him out? No, it can’t be that. Yes, it is true that there are countless books on the existence of soulmates in the Cloud Recesses Library Pavilion. It’s normal for people from all over the country to ask for Lan An’s collection of soulmates. Many even think that the soulmate bonds originated from Gusu, from the very mountain his home resides. But as the years went by, the Lan Clan started to have negative thoughts about soulmates and how distracting the idea itself was. And then the tale of his parents happened… then his mother confirmed it wasn’t real.

And that very belief was being threatened by the boy with the red ribbon.

He didn’t know how to respond other than in a soft, vague hum. Though, even if it was vague it made Wei Wuxian light up.

“I ask ‘cause there’s a rule that says to not speak of it, is that true? Why wouldn’t you want to talk about soulmates when legend says soulmate bonds originated from Gusu? It makes no sense!”

“It is a distracting topic.” 

“How so? You know, it’s funny that your sect’s founder was a monk yet he was the most romantic person to ever exist in Lan history.” How does Wei Ying remember all of this when he wasn’t even paying attention in class…? Or perhaps he did pay attention and was just making it seem like he didn’t? “I think it’s pretty cool your sect is considered to be the origin of soulmate bonds.”

Lan Wangji watches him carefully, “Ones life purpose shouldn’t be to waste time looking for something that might not be real. It is why it’s distracting.”

Wei Wuxian blinks in surprise, “Woah, this is the most I’ve heard you talk.” A chuckle follows soon after, “I agree, but just because it’s distracting doesn’t mean you should close yourself to the idea altogether. It’s a very extreme way to view things.”

“Why are you interested in said topic?”

Wei Ying’s face lights up. “I have my reasons, but also because there’s not a lot of information in Yunmeng. There’s no better place than to look for information from the source itself!” He replies while laying down on the floor with his hands clasped behind his head. “I was wondering if I could borrow some books from your library.”

Lan Wangji takes a moment to respond, gathering his thoughts. It’s not like there will be a book with his secret written in it. There’s no harm done if Wei Ying reads one or two volumes. The books are just on the floor above them, he could just go pick them himself and hand them to Wei Ying. And it would be the ones that are publicly accessible, so it’ll have the same information that Wei Ying has probably already read.

“Which volume would Wei Ying like?”

The teen rolls to his side, a bright smile on his face. “Any is fine! Uh— maybe one that talks about different signs? I know it’s different for every bond. I know it’s the same endgame, y’know, both people see true colors once they touch. But I’ve heard there’s other signs like… you feel warm when you’re near them and cold when you’re not. I’ve also heard some people even get marks wherever they’re touched by their soulmate.”

He listens to him talk, and he was to admit the surprise crossing his face at the extensive knowledge Wei Ying has about soulmates. It almost feels like he doesn’t even need to read the books at all. Still, Lan Wangji nods in acknowledgment and stands from his spot. He walks towards the staircase to the far right of the room they were in and climbs them swiftly. Now that he was on the next floor, he noticed how stale the air was. Has it been that long since anyone had come up to this part of the library? Lan Wangji wrinkles his nose slightly at the smell of dust in the air. Even if this part of the library wasn’t used very often, it would still be good to air out the room every once in a while.

Perhaps it’ll be something he can work on some other time. 

Lan Wangji grabs a few booklets, though realization crashes on him like a freezing tidal wave. Wei Ying remembers that they… No, if he did then he would’ve said something already. Or, perhaps, it was genuine curiosity all Wei Ying had and just wanted to learn more. A soft breath slips from his lips as he gathers himself and returns where Wei Ying is still laying on the floor.

The booklets are placed next to the Jiang teen, wordlessly yet with care. “Thanks, Lan Zhan! I’ll take care of them, okay?”

“Return them once you’re done.” He hums softly as he sits down. 

Silence blankets them once more, but it only lasts for a few minutes. As per usual, Wei Ying breaks the silence, “Lan Zhan… have you ever seen colors? Like, you know, how they’re supposed to look?”

His gaze stays put on his own work, unable to face Wei Ying on the matter. He doesn’t know… No, he does not want to admit what he saw. It’s childish, it’s foolish and it’s lying to himself, but he cannot allow himself to have this when his own mother did not have that choice. It’s the only way he can honor her… honor and acknowledge what she went through. 

Still… he cannot answer Wei Ying’s question, because it would be considered lying, and lying is against the rules. So, he chooses to stay quiet. 

A huff escapes the other teen, but Wei Ying doesn’t seem mad  at the lack of response, “I can’t really remember a lot of that day… but I know I saw true colors once. Lan Zhan, I think I met my soulmate.” Wei Ying says with a quiet chuckle, fingers sneakily yet playfully attempting to reach the Lan but soon retreat before it can even touch the white robes. “The craziest thing? I think they’re from Gusu. It was a long time ago, but… I remember the feeling.”

His heart only races in his chest the more he listens to Wei Ying reminiscing the same memory he has. Wei Ying remembers some of that day, and yet… he speaks as if it’s one of the happiest memories he has. 

Wei Ying makes a small pause, bringing his hand up and marveling at it, “That day… I felt a warmth I’ve never felt in my life. It doesn’t compare to the beating sun on the hottest day in Lotus Pier. It wasn’t harsh… it was more cozy. And the colors… It was for a short time, but it was so beautiful.” 

He speaks of the memory with fondness. The teasing tone is replaced by something soft and calm. Quiet. As if he dared speak louder the memory would completely fade. Lan Wangji couldn’t take his eyes from him as he waited for him to continue. The low rays of sunlight seeped through the window, bathing the Jiang Head Disciple in a washed-out orange and gold hue. Lan Wangji couldn’t tell if Wei Ying had already been this bright by himself, or if the light only aided in making him look like a sun god himself. His heart could only leap and do several pirouettes, because ever since Wei Ying had arrived at the Cloud Recesses he looked at peace. His features had softened significantly, as if there was nothing holding him back. Nothing weighing his shoulders. Lan Wangji could almost see the boy he met in that blizzard passing through Yiling all those years ago.

“Lan Zhan?” Wei Ying whispered, his voice uncharacteristically quiet. Both of them hold each other’s gaze as if it was something frail, something to treasure and hold dear. Hopefulness swims in his eyes making them shine like the silvery moon that witnessed their dance almost a month ago. The rest of the question never comes, but it doesn’t need to be spoken. He knows what Wei Ying is about to ask; ‘Do you believe in soul bonds?’

He has to look away, or Wei Ying will tell how flustered he got just by looking at him.

During the month-long punishment Lan Wangji had been learning little things about Wei Ying. The main thing he learned is that Wei Ying didn’t like silence, or sitting still. He talked through the hours they sat together, about anything and everything. From tales about his time as head disciple to absurd stories that Lan Wangji was more than sure were made up. He noticed how he had a knack for talismans, how he would rather work on his small inventions than meditate. Lan Wangji noticed how every time there was a sunspot seeping through the library’s windows, Wei Wuxian would drop everything to go lay on it and take a nap. 

Whenever Lan Wangji brought them dinner, if they happened to stay long in the library, Wei Wuxian would devour his meal, despite the endless complaining of it being bland. There were days Lan Wangji, without no one noticing, would add some of his own portion to Wei Wuxian’s share, and satisfaction would fill his chest when the other teen was satisfied. 

He noticed himself searching for the teen with the faded red ribbon whenever they weren’t in the library, or in a lecture. He noticed himself feeling awe and admiration when he saw Wei Wuxian performing the Yunmeng Jiang swordforms, and how he was right to compare his fluent movements with any body of water. From a calm lotus lake to a rapid river, from ocean waves crashing into the shore to a gentle spring shower. Lan Wangji could tell Wei Wuxian worked hard, even if it wasn’t to either his or Jiang Cheng’s standards.  

Did he believe in soulmate bonds? Now he’s not sure what he believed in. But he did believe that he had some sort of feeling for the teen laying on the library floor.

He should probably answer Wei Ying’s question… 

Lips part as to give the Jiang disciple his answer, but soon stops when his focus is redirected to him. Wei Ying’s eyes had fluttered close, his chest raising and falling in a tranquil, even breaths. Lan Wangji had taken so long to respond that he had fallen asleep. 

Lan Wangji didn’t know if to feel offended or find it endearing that Wei Ying felt so relaxed around him that it caused no problem for his guard to lower.

What is he thinking… It doesn’t have to do with him, Wei Wuxian would fall asleep anywhere, anytime he wanted. It didn’t have to do with Lan Wangji offering a comforting aura. He had seen him taking naps in some secluded areas in the Cloud Recesses. (It’s not like Lan Wangji was looking for him when he’d find him sleeping on a tree branch, or in a meadow.) He really needs to get these frivolous thoughts under control. 

He breathes out quietly and refocuses on the task he was working on. At first he was glad for the quiet and peace. It felt like silence was hard to come by recently, even if he knew why it was hard. His eyes drift to the sleeping teen, who had turned to his side and was mumbling in his sleep. 

Before Lan Wangji could urge himself to refocus, he had gracefully scoot next to Wei Ying. One arm was tucked underneath his head to pillow it while the other one was loosely draped over his torso. Was Wei Ying even comfortable napping on the floor? Should he get him a blanket…? Pillows? No, this is a library. Wei Ying shouldn’t be napping at all! But he looks so at peace… even if he’s not sleeping the Lan way, he looks so unbothered by the world around him.

The thought of waking him up made his chest feel sour with guilt.

A sigh escapes his lips as he sets his brush down and takes the papers where Wei Wuxian was using to copy the rules. His nose scrunches ever so slightly at the scratchy calligraphy, nonetheless the rules he had copied were legible. How is it possible for someone to be amazingly talented at drawing but have such poor technique on calligraphy? Well… Guess it would apply to him. Lan Wangji had always exceeded when it came to calligraphy to the point his uncle and elders would ask him to transcribe or fix old volumes that were considered far too gone, yet when it came to drawing his skills were… crude.

His eyes gazed at the rules he knew by heart, thumb absently caressing the characters that had completely dried up. ‘Be mighty, and others will die for you.’ Is the last rule Wei Ying had written before falling asleep. He caught subtle movement from the corner of his eye, and he turned just in time to see Wei Wuxian curling tight onto himself. Discomfort was evident on his scrunched face. It made Lan Wangji frown with discontent.

As quietly as he can, Lan Wangji gets up and lowers the blind from the window next to them. He’s not sure why he did that, it’s not like it was cold or anything, but something in his mind pushed him to do so. 

Oh… when did Lan Wangji shrug his outer robe off his shoulders, and was about to drape it on Wei Ying like a blanket? 

It was too late, the article of clothing had made contact with the sleeping teen, who instantly burrowed into it without a care. The sight before him made him stumble, his heart melting in a warm puddle in his chest. Without really thinking things through, Lan Wangji sits closer to Wei Ying. That should’ve been enough for him, but apparently his mind had other plans. Light fingers brush the bangs framing Wei Ying’s face, he made sure to be careful as to not wake him up but the contact has him gasping louder than usual. Vibrant colors bleed into existence, this time as if drops of dye fell into the water, slowly painting it in wild and vivid colors. 

He felt the same warmth spreading up his limb and through his body, making it feel as if he was holding the sun itself in his palm. Unlike nine years prior, it didn’t feel as overwhelming. He couldn’t move his eyes from the sleeping teen, how colorful and lively he looked despite being under the spell of slumber. His skin had changed from pale to dark tan as if the sun god itself had descended and kissed his skin. Freckles adorned his nose, they were faint at first glance but it was a nice surprise if you looked at him for too long up close. Lan Wangji had to take several breaths to steady himself, but no matter what he did the frantic beating of his heart was too loud to ignore.

Wei Ying’s hair was softer than he expected, and the crazy idea of brushing it hits him like a ton of bricks. Luckily Lan Wangji doesn’t act on it, but he does trace Wei Ying’s face with his fingers in a gentle caress. 

The contact has the teen sighing softly, unconsciously leaning and seeking for more. “Feels… nice.” Wei Ying mumbles in his sleep, but causes Lan Wangji to retract his hand to avoid getting caught. The vibrancy surrounding Wei Ying dissolves away like dust, leaving him covered in that unflattering pale grey undertone. Lan Wangji decides he hates how it makes him look. Wei Ying deserved to be bathed in all the colors the world had to offer.

Is this… what his mother meant by finding the one that he would cherish? But it seemed so scary… so uncertain. What if they weren’t really meant to be together like soulmates are supposed to be… Or what if Wei Ying rejects him after realizing he’s the same child that pushed him away… 

He can already see the disappointment in those silvery eyes when he finds out that his soulmate is not just any Lan but the cold, second Twin Jade of Gusu…

Lan Wangji stands in fury, knuckles turning white at how hard he’s gripping the side of his robes. There’s no reason for Lan Wangji to feel so upset, at the end of the day… Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian were complete opposites, they’re bound to fall off from whatever this is. At least Wei Ying will. 

He picks empty paper and his brush, silently rushing to the other side of the library to copy the rules to calm himself. Only this time, Lan Wangji swiftly goes on his hands, and soon is doing a perfect handstand. The strain on his arms already works its wonders and distracts his mind from all the chaotic feelings and emotions running through his mind. 

‘Maintain your own discipline.’ Lan Wangji writes without thinking. He breathes out a long sigh through his nose. There is only one way to maintain his own discipline and that was to avoid Wei Wuxian as much as he could after he finished his punishment.

It shouldn’t be that hard, right? 

WANDERING STAR

She walks the earth freely, yet her feet never touch the ground. Many hands will reach for her, but she cannot be anchored. She belongs to no one, to nothing, to nowhere. When you meet her, you will recognise her for who she is— a free spirit, a wandering star. She will fit in your arms like she was made to be there. And she will show you what it means to hold something you can never hold onto.

-Lan An

It was the last day of Wei Wuxian’s punishment. He didn’t find it necessary to oversee him write the last few rules he had left to copy so he had been occupying himself with reading a book of poems written by none other than Lan An himself.

Lan Wangji thought if he read some of Lan An’s collection then maybe he could find something that could help him get his emotions and urges under control, but every poem he read he just associated with Wei Ying. How bright he was, how talented he was…

It made him want to punch a wall…

He steals a quick glance towards Wei Ying, who looked to be using all his focus and concentration in whatever he was working on. A wandering star indeed… Guess he really wanted to get out of here as fast as he could. Lan Wangji does his best to not let the thought bother him, but it doesn’t stop the tug in his heart from stinging. He focuses on the pages once more.

TWIN FLAMES

There was a feeling of inevitability when I met you. The sense that we would be together; that there would be a moment when you would look at me in a certain way, and we would cross the threshold from friendship into something so much more.

We spoke once about lovers who kept finding each other, no matter how many times the world came between them. And I think I had to break your heart, and you had to break mine.

How else could we know the worth of what we were given?

I think you were always meant to know me a little better than anyone else. And our lives were fated to converge like some cosmic dance. I know there is a terrible distance between us.

But our bodies are made of celestial light, and we are hurtling through space and time, toward the most beautiful collision.

-Lan An

By far, this poem described both of them to perfection. It made his heart tremble with want and longing. 

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan!” He hears Wei Ying call, but before he can respond the teen had already walked towards the bookshelf he was standing next to. “I’ve finished copying your sect rules, so this is our farewell. I made you a parting gift!”

That peaks Lan Wangji’s interest. It’s not like they won’t see each other in lectures and around the Cloud Recesses, though he wouldn’t blame Wei Ying for wanting to keep his distance from now on. He closes the poem book and places it on the nearby shelf to take the paper Wei Wuxian is showing him. His eyes widen ever so slightly when he realizes it’s a drawing of himself… it’s just him reading a book at one of the low tables, his expression sharp and focused. His posture straight and proper, the representation of what the perfect Lan should look like. He reminds himself to breathe, yet he can’t take his eyes away from it. Wei Ying did this… he had been drawing him just because… He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t impressed. Lan Wangji had seen Wei Wuxian’s illustrations before but this… this took more effort and concentration. 

However, the butterflies roaming in his stomach soon freeze when he notices a peony drawn on top of his head. His heart flips before racing, and he can feel his ears being set ablaze with embarrassment. There’s a twitch under his eye, and that’s when the teen begins to laugh. “Oh, Lan Zhan! You should’ve seen your face!”

“Pathetic…” Lan Wangji bites, folding the drawing and tossing it in the waste bin, just like he has with the rest of his drawings. Though, what Wei Wuxian doesn’t know is that he’s kept most of the doodles and illustrations he had made for the past month. He sends one last glare towards the laughing teen before picking up the poem book and opening it where he had left off.

He was expecting to continue on the poem he left off, it spoke about one knowing their soulmate even if they had a different face, if it’s been centuries or a lifetime they could just tell… Instead, he was greeted by erotic drawings from a man and a woman doing something indecent. In a blur of panic, Lan Wangji tosses the book aside as if he got burnt by it. Did he grab the wrong book? No… spring books were locked in the forbidden section, only accessible by the Lan Head healer and only used for marital purposes.

There’s no way Wei Ying could’ve… 

Unless…

“Wei Ying…!” Lan Wangji snaps, embarrassment and ire evident in his face. He could feel heat spreading up to his cheeks and a little down his neck. Never in his life has anyone embarrassed him in such a manner. Anger simmered deep in his bones, and it didn’t help that Wei Ying was just laughing it off.

“I’m here! Oh! Oh that’s— Lan Zhan you’re face!” Wei Ying said between laughter. He doubled over as he gasped for breath, holding his stomach as he laughed away. “Lan Zhan! You act as if… as if.” Wei Ying’s laugh slowly comes to a stop, realization filling his grey eyes. “Wait… Lan Zhan have—?”

“Shut… up—!” Lan Wangji almost shouts, fists trembling beside him in a meek attempt to restrain himself. Every time he’s around him… every time he’s around Wei Wuxian he loses control and sight of himself. His family’s teaching, the rules, it all seems to cease from existence every time he’s around him. He’s a fool… a fool for even having hopes…

Without a second thought, Lan Wangji reached for Bichen and quickly unleashed the cold blade. The sound rings through the library, leaving a deafening ring in both teen’s ears. He’s had enough of the teasing. He’s had enough of that contagious laugh, and that stupid… infuriating, blinding smile that just made his heart tremble with something he’s not familiar. 

“Woah! Manners, Lan-er-gongzi! Remember your manners!” Wei Wuxian chuckled while slowly backing up with his hands up. “Lan Zhan, have you never seen…? Is this really the first time you’ve seen a spring book?”

The words only infuriated Lan Wangji further. “You… really are… shameless!” The Lan teen shouted as he lunged towards Wei Wuxian with his sword raised.

Wei Wuxian’s eyes widen in surprise but soon the surprise is taken over by intrigue. He dodges the attack with a simple side step, “Come now, there’s nothing to be ashamed of! We’re both men!”

That only seemed to fuel Lan Wangji’s anger. Without thinking, he slashed forward and this time the attack came too fast to correctly avoid it. The blade cuts a hair or two from Wei Ying’s ponytail before he falls on his ass. The blade points at his throat before he can fully recover, yet there’s no fear in those silver eyes. No, there is a fire setting his eyes ablaze with an excitement Lan Wangji has never seen before. He must be losing his mind by thinking it’s one of the prettiest things he has ever seen… Annoying. Infuriating. That’s all Wei Ying is!

“Aiya, Lan Zhan! People say how you are so virtuous and are the perfect example of self righteousness, yet look at you!” The teen teases, “Getting all mad because of some erotic art. Lan Zhan, ah Lan Zhan how many rules have you broken? You should be the one copying your sect rules instead!”

“Shut up…!” 

“Not to mention! Initiating a private fight? Tsk, tsk, don’t you remember fighting is forbidden, Lan Zhan?”

“Then we shall fight outside!”

“Such a bold request, but ah, I’ll have to decline.” Wei Ying sighs, feigning sadness. However, Lan Wangji doesn’t miss the way Wei Ying’s fingers inch towards the spring book. 

He’s not going to let him get away with this.

So he moves quickly, snatching the book a millisecond after Wei Wuxian takes a hold of it. Both teens tug the book in a tug war. There’s a sly grin on Wei Ying’s face while there’s a scowl on Lan Wangji’s. “Why grabbing on to it so hard, Lan-er-ge?” Wei Ying asked teasingly, oh how badly he wanted to wipe that smirk off of his face. “Oh, I see! You want to take a look at it. Well, if that’s what you want then you should’ve said so!”

Of course he didn’t want to take a look at the book! It was improper, undignified! How shameless of him to assume Lan Wangji would ever want to see something so obscene! The scowl only deepens the longer they play this absurd game of tug. However, the more he refused to answer the more Wei Ying spouted whatever nonsense came to mind, “Or maybe you want to confiscate it! But Lan Zhan, aren’t you worried your shufu will think you took a peek? What would he think! His pure nephew being exposed to such things!”

Lan Wangji clenched his jaw, gritting his teeth as he pushed the next set of words out. “I. am. Not. Looking!” he finalizes, letting his spiritual energy surge through his hand and shredding the cursed book. 

Wei Ying gasps when the book turns into shreds, whining softly, “Ah, what a waste!” he laments as he stands, bangs bouncing back and forth with his head shaking. “It had good art, too! Lan Zhan, there was no need to do that!”

The complaint only infuriates him more. His sword trembles in his hold as he tries his best to keep his composure, but it looked like just by looking at Wei Wuxian it would only urge him to attack forward in any way or form. He grits his teeth, forcing the words he can only think will reflect how he feels. “Get lost!”

Shock washed over Wei Ying’s face at the sudden outburst, but instead of causing him to back down it only encouraged him to tease the Lan teen more. “Hah! Look at you, Lan Zhan! Damn, I can’t believe you told me to get lost!” He says with a sly grin, mischief all over his features. “Where are your manners! Did you forget that clamor is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses?”

Lan Wangji just stays silent while Wei Wuxian laughs and gets closer to him. What is there to laugh about?! Why is he so gleeful?! Is this all there is to being friends with Wei Ying? He… he doesn’t want this. He doesn’t want a person that doesn’t have any regard for rules and manners to be his soulmate. He doesn’t want someone that is improper and takes everything as a joke. He knew it had been a mistake. 

His sect was right to think the topic of soulmates being a huge distraction. A curse, even.

“Lan Zhan~” Wei Ying calls, standing incredibly close, “Is this the first time you’ve said something like that?” 

A soft growl resonated in Lan Wangji’s throat as he slashed Bichen forward. Wei Wuxian flips backward to dodge the attack, and then another to near the window of the Library Pavilion, a leg flung over the sill. “Alright, alright! Get lost it is! I’m good at that, so no need to see me off!”

Before Lan Wangji could tell him to get lost once more, Wei Wuxian had jumped out the window and disappeared into the night. He took shaky breaths to calm himself down, but no matter how much he tried to center himself, Wei Ying’s laugh would come crashing into his mind. It only angered him more. He needed… he needed…

Not too long after, Lan Wangji storms out of the library, for the first time in his life not caring about the mess he left behind. Robes swooshing loudly as he walked with a quicker pace than usual. He doesn’t have any idea where he’s going. It’s not like he has ever experienced his emotions so intensely before. He’s not even sure how to handle this in the first place! 

“Wangji?” 

If it weren’t because he literally bumped shoulders with his older brother, he would’ve entirely missed him calling his name. His heart was still racing, blood rushing loudly in his ears. Not to mention the warmth settling on his ears and partially on his cheeks. What is he thinking, his whole body felt like it was lit on fire. Maybe going to the Cold Springs should help him center his mind and body. 

On the other hand, Lan Xichen could only look at his younger brother with mild alarm. In his life he had never seen Lan Wangji so flustered or overwhelmed by his own emotions. Not to mention how distracted he was as to completely miss him calling out for him a few times before they collided. Though, he can already imagine what —who— might’ve caused such distress on his younger brother. The worry soon melts into amusement.

The eldest Twin Jade has to bite back a laugh before asking, “Wangji, what’s the matter? Is everything alright?”

Lan Wangji inhales sharply, pale golden eyes looking at him and then averting to the side. Lan Xichen can see a million words and thoughts flashing through his eyes, yet none of them leave his lips. At the end, Lan Wangji exhales sharply, “I need to carry out punishment.”

Lan Xichen blinks surprised and then confusion settles in as he tilts his head, “Didn’t Wei-gongzi finish his punishment today?”

“Not for Wei Ying… For me.” That’s even more intriguing than what Lan Xichen expected, “Shufu must oversee it.”

“I—“ The eldest Twin Jade is at a complete loss for words. “I’m afraid I don't understand your request.”

“Wangji broke the rules.” Knuckles turn white once he grips the side of his robes. It felt all too familiar. The evening he snuck into his mother’s house before she passed. The day he went astray from his brother and uncle's side, and met Wei Ying. The night both he and Wei Ying danced fought under the moonlight. Wei Ying is right… He’s only half of the things people claim him to be. 

How is he to be a prime example of what virtue and discipline should look like when all it takes is one smile, one laugh! A tease carried on the summer wind, twirling and dancing along a pale red ribbon, to make him unravel at the seams.

“I see…” His brother answers after a pause. “Well, Shufu has gone out, he cannot oversee your punishment.”

“Then Xiongzhang must oversee it.” Lan Wangji insists. 

A subtle nod, “What rules have you broken?”

“Fighting without permission. Clamoring. Losing myself to rage. Acting impulsively.” He recites with ease. The grip on his robe only becomes tighter, and he’s sure his fingers had torn holes into the soft fabric. 

His brother waits for him to continue, but when nothing more comes he hums softly in thought. “Very well.” He answers finally, “We’ll discuss your punishment tomorrow morning.”

“Now.” Lan Wangji requests a little too quickly. It has his older brother arching an eyebrow, curiosity shining in his warm, honey eyes. “We will discuss it now. Please.”

The intrigue and curiosity only grows the more the younger Lan speaks. To see his younger brother act this way… Lan Xichen could only silently ask for forgiveness for finding this predicament so funny. “Wangji, what has gotten into you?”

Lan Wangji can’t help but find the question frustrating. To others it might look like a simple question, but under his older brother’s teasing tone and curious eyes it can only be taken as mocking and nosy. Lan Wangji decided to leave the question unanswered and move on from it, and Lan Xichen is quick to take the hint.

Nonetheless, it doesn’t stop the older Twin Jade from chuckling as quietly as he can. “Alright, alright. Follow me.”

Lan Wangji ended up copying the rules twice per hand while doing handstands before he set out for patrol. He silently vowed for this to be the last time he ever dared break a rule, and let Wei Wuxian be a distraction.

He exhales sharply under his breath, urging his emotion to stay under control. Sharp, cold gaze lands on Lan Xichen for a brief moment before he takes the lead and walks ahead of the group. 

Betrayal couldn’t even describe what he felt when his brother agreed for the Jiang Heir and the Head Discople to join their mission. They don’t have time to watch over their guests while they try to figure out the mystery of the water ghosts appearing in Caiyi town. 

‘It almost seemed like you wanted Wei-Gongzi to join us.’ Is what Lan Xichen replied to his quiet ire. It only made him flustered and despise his brother’s ability to read him.

The streets were busy, people walking leisurely as they looked at the vendors and different stalls. It was no distraction for Lan Wangji since he has walked down these streets countless times. However, the voice that had been invading every corner of his mind followed not too far behind. Wei Wuxian laughed with enthusiasm, easily amazed by all the little trinkets by the aunties and younger women. It made his whole body rigid while his heart hammered neither fury against his ribcage. The way he’d tell jokes and the younger women would laugh and giggle, and answer all flustered by his advances. 

The insolence…!

“Thank you, jiejie!” Wei Wuxian shouted, waving good bye at the young women while he walked towards Lan Wangji. Just the sight of him smiling like that made his blood boil. The Lan starts walking away but soon feels someone hovering a little too close to his side. “Lan Zhan, didn’t you hear me calling? Aiya, are you still angry at me for the spring book?”

The only response Wei Wuxian gets is a cold glare. Of course he was still angry at the incident. The images alone haunted his mind late at night, it made his body react in a way he was way too embarrassed to even think about. He continued on his way to meet with his brother, who was returning from speaking to the man that owned small boats to rent to pass through the water canals of the lively town. The faster they deal with these water ghosts, the faster he can return to his home and be away from Wei Wuxian.

“I said I was sorry!” Wei Wuxian groans, throwing his hands up. Still, he followed and caught up with him in a few steps. “Hey, wait up! Show me around, will you? Did you forget your promise?”

Lan Wangji stops in his tracks, slightly turning and fixing his gaze on the teen with the dull red ribbon. “I did not make such promises.”

A smile soon appears on Wei Ying’s face, and it makes his heart do several hops in his chest. Lan Wangji has to quickly divert his gaze from the teen before his heart betrays him any longer. “You talked to me again! Lan Zhan, do you want to see what those JieJies gave me?”

“No.” He answers a little too fast before starting to walk away, but Wei Ying is soon to grab his sleeve to stop him in his tracks.

“Lan Zhan, stop running away!” Wei Ying says with a huff before catching up to him. “Aiya, you’re so cold and scary. What would your future soulmate think if they were to see you act like this!”

The comment has him stumbling on his own two feet. Is Wei Ying just messing with or did he figure everything out? Well, who cares if he did. Lan Wangji wouldn’t want him to be nearby anyways. “I do not have a soulmate.” Lan Wangji bites without thinking, rendering the other teen speechless. 

Wei Wuxian gape at the retreating Lan, but he’s quick to recover himself and find his place next to him with a light jog. “What do you mean? Everyone has a soulmate. It says so on the books Lan An wrote!”

“I do not believe in soulmates. It has not been proven, therefore it does not exist.” He argues, not realizing the wince crossing Wei Wuxian’s face. However, it disappears when cold, pale golden eyes land on him. “Wei Ying should not be wasting his time and energy pursuing a foolish myth.”

It was the harsh truth and belief Lan Wangji grew up with. It’s the harsh truth his mother lived with until her very last breath. Lan Wangji half expected Wei Ying to leave him alone after his cold words, yet he felt the teen hover near him once more. He felt a familiar warmth course through his body which had him jerked his body away from it thinking Wei Ying had touched him, yet the teen was only merely touching his sleeve.

There was a gentle yet blinding grin on Wei Ying’s face, lighting everything around him as it always did. “Aiya, you’re too uptight! So what if it hasn’t been proven? That doesn’t mean your soulmate is not out there. Maybe they’re closer than you think.” He offers with a wink, “Who knows, maybe I’ll just prove you wrong when I find my soulmate! But for now, let’s share some loquats! Those jiejies gave me some nice ones!”

His gaze shifts from the teen to the loquats and then back, “Ridiculous.” Lan Wangji responds before walking away, and this time Wei Ying doesn’t follow him. He can’t decide if he disliked that Wei Ying didn’t pester any longer, or he was relieved that the teen had returned to his martial brother’s side to explore more of Caiyi town. 

Every time Lan Wangji thought Wei Wuxian to be laid back and lazy, he was always proven wrong and caught by surprise. Even if his face showed nothing, he could not stop thinking how that playful and childlike air had switched to full of seriousness and focus. He watched him carry himself as he fought and protected the townspeople from the water ghost that had infiltrated the water canal of the peaceful town. 

He had to admit it, Wei Ying was a skillful swordsman. Equally measured to his own skill. Maybe slightly higher.

The memory of the way Wei Ying danced and sidestepped as he dodged his attacks comes to mind. How the moonlight made it look like Wei Ying had descended from the heavens and graced the mortal realm with his presence. It was something Lan Wangji thought of often whenever he saw Wei Ying pick up his sword. 

After watching Wei Wuxian spring into action and share his knowledge in water ghosts and how to best handle them, he could see how deserving he was of the title of Head Disciple. Just like Lan Xichen had mentioned back in Caiyi town before the sudden attack; Wei Wuxian is sharp, talented and smart, serious when the moment calls for it but still a child at heart. 

Lan Wangji did his best to block his voice as he called for his attention. Child at heart or not, this wasn’t the right moment to call and beg for his attention. 

The best course of action was to ignore him and focus on the task at hand, Wei Wuxian is bound to tire himself out. What he did not expect was the teen to splash water at him. Luckily, his reflexes are sharp, and he was able to move aside and avoid the water landing on himself. Out of annoyance, Lan Wangji jumps onto his brother’s boat and glares ice daggers at Wei Wuxian. What in the hell is he doing?! 

There’s a sharp smile on Wei Wuxian’s face as he maneuvers to flip the boat upside down. At first, anger flares inside Lan Wangji’s as he thinks Wei Wuxian has gone too far just to get his attention but then he sees it. The water ghosts clinging at the bottom of the boat he was previously using. He hated to admit it… but he was more impressed than he has ever been with any cultivator he’s crossed paths with. It takes him a moment to come to himself, that’s until he sees Lan Xichen purging the water ghosts that were clinging to his boat.

“That was very impressive, Wei-gongzi.” Lan Xichen acknowledges, bowing in thanks. “May I ask, how did you figure there were water ghosts clinging to Wangji’s boat?”

Wei Wuxian flashes a half smile his way, his eyes specifically focus on the younger Jade of Lan. “Easy!” He answers by tapping his own boat. “The draft was wrong.”

Lan Xichen smiles, “Outstanding.”

How did Lan Wangji not notice that? He didn’t even feel them coming, or the boat shifting weight. Once again, he let his mind be preoccupied with Wei Ying. 

He can’t wait for the teen to leave him be.

“Lan Zhan!” He can feel his body tensing up as the teen nears his boat, and he’s ready to turn around and completely ignore him. “Lan Zhan, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to splash water at you. You see, water ghosts are smart! If I would’ve said anything out loud then they would’ve escaped!”

Lan Wangji stays silent, trying his best to ignore his mind agreeing with whatever he was saying. It makes sense, the reasoning is smart but that doesn’t mean he has to accept it. His robes flutter when he turns away, walking to the other side of the boat. That’s when he notices it, a shadow in the water. Without further hesitation, Lan Wangji summons Bichen and sends it in a sharp attack to whatever it was lurking down below. Wei Ying does the same, sending the fine sword with a dull red glare into the dark depths of the lake. 

“You carry a fine sword. What’s it called?” The question escapes him before he can even realize. Only Wei Wuxian would get him to talk with annoying ease. 

“Suibian.” Wei Ying answers with a glint of mischief in his eyes. His answer only makes him frown.

“There’s a spirit residing in your blade. It’s disrespectful to address it so casually.”

“No, really, its name is Suibian.” He insists with a soft chuckle. As they wait for their blades to return, Wei Wuxian explains the story behind the name of his spiritual sword. It was a ridiculous story, but it didn’t fail to make Wei Wuxian smile, especially when he said how he loved whenever uptight people got upset by it. It made Lan Wangji’s ears flush and all warm with embarrassment, because he knew Wei Wuxian was talking about him.

Returning his focus to the mission, he had started to wonder what was going on. Why were they being unsuccessful in catching any water ghosts, that’s until the lake itself attacked back. It all happened too quickly, resentment using the body of water to attack the young cultivators lured to the middle of the lake, all of them jumping and flying in their swords. Some of his own clan members had been sucked into the vortex of water, and his brother barked orders to focus on saving lives. 

Lan Wangji had lost sight of Wei Wuxian, and that had his anxiety spiking like it never had before. He urged his racing thoughts and heart to still so he could focus on what was around him. He’ll be fine, he kept repeating in his mind. Once they had gathered the men that had no means to stay afloat, they stayed to wait for both Jiang Wanying and Wei Wuxian. Frantic eyes searched for them, and then he saw Wei Wuxian moving at top speed, swiftly evading the resentful water tendrils attempting to throw him off of his sword. His heart is lodged in his throat, breath held in anticipation. The urge to go help him grows stronger each time Wei Wuxian barely dodged the attack, and it almost wins if he didn’t hear Jiang Wanyin yelling Wei Wuxian’s name to get his attention.

The relief flooding his body soon runs cold when Wei Wuxian misses the Jiang Heir’s hand. Wei Wuxian falls, and falls… the world around him seems to run colder than any harsh winter in Gusu, darker than any moonless night. In a desperate attempt, Wei Wuxian’s wide gaze made contact with Lan Wangji for a split second before the dark water pulled him under.

“Wei Wuxian!”

“Wei Ying!” 

Both him and Jiang Wanyin call for the teen. Lan Wangji ignores Lan Xichen’s calls when he zooms towards where Wei Ying had disappeared. Only after Wei Ying and the unconscious Lan clan member had fallen is when the violent water had soothed and calmed to the regular rhythm of its waves. 

Lan Wangji attempts to stay grounded as he searches the surface, as he waits for Wei Ying to break the surface of water and give him a sign that he was okay. But the longer he waited, the more his anxiety grew.

“Wei Wuxian!” Jiang Wanyin screams, frantically searching the surface of the quiet water. “For fuck’s sake… Wei Wuxian!” 

There was no sign of the teen with the pale red ribbon anywhere. 

He couldn’t endure it any longer, too much time had already passed and if he dared wait a second longer it would only result in disaster. Lan Wangji descends closer to the surface, and that’s when he sees it. Faint, barely visible in the darkness of the lake, but a trail of red peeking just enough through the resentment. “Wei Ying!” He shouts before diving into the cold water without a second thought.

As soon as Lan Wangji is underwater it doesn’t take him long to find the other teen. He was mere inches away from his reach. For a moment, he feared he had been too late. Despite Wei Ying’s gaze aimed at him, his eyes were glassy and unfocused. His whole body lax as he slowly sinks further from the surface. There’s no more time to waste. Lan Wangji’s hand grabs a fistful of Wei Ying’s robes and pulls with all the strength his arm allows while simultaneously summoning Bichen. Once he feels his sword under his feet, he heads for the surface, both of them breaking through the now calm waters. As soon as Wei Ying breaks the surface he takes a mouthful of air, gasping greedily and coughing the water that had made it into his lungs.

Relief washed over the Lan to see his soulmate being responsive. 

The thought crashed into him colder than the water of the Cold Springs. He almost… Lan Wangji almost lost his soulmate. Wei Ying, the boy he had met in that faithful blizzard and had lost because of his selfish actions. The teen that had come back to him and caused so much trouble and induced chaos into his usual calm life. The teen that has been spurring so many reactions and emotions he didn’t even know he had in the first place. 

The only one that seems to want to be close to him, despite his many attempts to make him go away. 

His soulmate… his soulmate. The only person who will truly understand him, love him, even. Lan Wangji could’ve lost…

“Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian gasps, uncertain of what he’s seeing. He groans softly, letting his eyes flutter close for a brief moment. “Why are you holding me like this…? I can barely breathe.”

His grip was in fact tight and it only got tighter at the realization. It was for multiple reasons, but Lan Wangji wasn’t about to admit why he was holding Wei Wuxian like a lifeline. As if he relaxed his grip, the teen would plummet back into a void of no return. He can’t even muster the strength to look him in the eye, “I avoid physical contact with others.” He half lies, because that boundary had been crossed nine years ago, and it had been crossed whenever Wei Ying napped during his punishment. 

However, the answer has Wei Ying shaking with a weak laugh. “See… i-if you keep thinking that way, how are you gonna meet your soulmate?”

Again with the soulmate topic… Why is he bringing it up all of the sudden…? Well, it would make sense since Lan Wangji let him borrow the first volume of soulmate bonds. 

“But…” Wei Wuxian continues, his body going limp with tiredness. “I’m different from the rest of them, right? We’re already so close to one another.”

Yes, because we are soulmates…. “We are not.”

The library was quiet, as it should be. It is a place that contains knowledge and it is a requirement to be silent when surrounded by such things. So why… Why was it so uncomfortable to be enveloped in what once offered comfort and reassurance to the young Twin Jade? It felt unnatural, frustrating, even. His mind was in turmoil, has been in turmoil, no matter how much he meditated, how much he attempted to center himself… the stillness and silence made him want to squirm out of his skin. Nonetheless, he kept on working on his report. 

The sky held not a single cloud, the Cloud Recesses was uncharacteristically warm as the sun bathed the mountain in its warmth embrace. His mind wanders places, thinking of a teen with a red ribbon laying on a meadow covered in flowers as he basks in the warmth of the sun. The world around him is grey, dull but it’s only because that same teen held every single vibrant color in existence. He can see him smiling, calling his name like it only belonged to him. No, his given name only belonged to that infuriating teen, just like his soul. His heart. His entire being.

“Lan Zhan! There you are!” Wei Ying chimes as he climbs into the window, causing the other teen to jump slightly. As if he was caught red handed thinking in such a way about the Jiang Head Disciple. 

Lan Wangji has to will his heart to settle back into a steady rhythm as he schooled his expression. 

Wei Ying grunts softly as he hauls himself into the room, using one hand to support himself once he lands on the wooden floor. Curiosity shines in his eyes as to see what antics Wei Ying has been up to.

“Why are you here?” Wei Ying asks with a huff, “Are you aware you’re wasting a beautiful summer day doing… whatever you’re doing?”

Lan Wangji scans him up and down, noticing his robes were a bit more disheveled than usual. Brows draw together suspicion, yet does not say anything. 

“Alright alright, minding your own business. Well, I’m here to say thank you, and sorry.” Lan Wangji lifts an eyebrow, his curiosity growing. He waits for the teen to continue. “You know, for the spring book! You were really mad at me for it, yet you saved me from the Water Abyss. I wanted to apologize correctly.”

Lan Wangji eyes him once more, his heart fluttering wildly inside his chest at the random yet thoughtful gesture. Yet, he can’t seem to let go of the pettiness. The absurdity of wanting to see the teen grovel. “Leave.” He says evenly, returning to his task. 

“Aiya, so mean! It’s been a couple of days since we’ve seen each other, do you hate me this much? What? Are you going to throw me out?” Wei Ying asks with a teasing smile and a slight wiggle of his eyebrows. 

Infuriating. He lets out a sharp exhale. He takes it back, he doesn’t miss Wei Ying at all! The longing and yearning in his heart is soon replaced by ire and annoyance by the teen that is his soulmate. At this point, Lan Wangji really believes it would be better if Wei Ying never finds out they’re each other’s soulmate.

“Why so scary! Lan Zhan, you keep frowning and being all scary like that, you’ll get wrinkles like old man— I mean, your Shufu. C’mon, don’t be a fuddy-duddy, I even brought you a gift!” The excitement in Wei Ying’s voice has his attention, though he better decline whatever Wei Ying had brought for him. It wasn’t proper to just accept a gift without having something of his own to give back. 

“I do not want it.” He answers coolly.

“Heh, are you sure?”

His lips part so he can decline wherever nonsense Wei Wuxian had come up with. However, before he could utter a word, Wei Ying had already pulled two fluffy rabbits from his lapels. 

Shock couldn’t begin to describe what he felt. The teen held them up by the ears, the two fluff bunnies squirming and fighting to be set free. What is the meaning of this? Animals are not allowed in the Cloud Recesses, Lan Wangji was about to say but Wei Ying had moved closer to him. “Aren’t they cute!” Wei Wuxian coos, settling the two bunnies in his arms and aggressively scratching their heads. 

The sight before him is way too adorable to take his eyes from. He shouldn’t find it so endearing, his heart shouldn’t be melting into a puddle just because Wei Ying has quieted down so the bunnies in his arms wouldn’t get startled any more. He shouldn’t… he shouldn’t keep letting the teen distract him, or even let himself feel utterly foolish when they are not compatible. He knows fate says otherwise, but he can’t see it.., he just can’t see how both of them belong to each other. 

“You know… your Cloud Recesses is so weird. There’s no pheasants in sight, but there’s all these little guys crawling every corner! I kept seeing them when I was… uh— nevermind what I was doing!” He deflects with a nervous chuckle. That only makes Lan Wangji want to press the teen to confess his crimes. Apparently copying the rules hadn’t been enough. “Anyways, I figured I’d bring you some. So, you want them?”

Wei Ying grabs the two bunnies by the ears again, both of them squeaking and protesting at how poorly they’re being handled. It makes Lan Wangji’s heart seize, the urge to take them and handle them with care strong. Still… Pets aren’t allowed in the Cloud Recesses… Wei Ying should know this! 

His eyes stay glued on the two bunnies, coincidentally one has white fur and the other has black fur… It’s as if they represented both of them… No, it’s completely absurd! Wei Ying wouldn’t have thought of it that way… right?

Still, Lan Wangji does not offer an answer, which has Wei Ying pulling both bunnies back to his side. “Guess not. I thought it was a good gift! Oh well, I guess I’ll give them to someone else!” 

Panic spreads through his chest when the teen turns towards the window, flinging a leg over the sill. What… who is Wei Ying giving them to? Is there someone else…? No, it can’t be— but it’s not improbable. Wei Ying knows his soulmate is from Gusu, he knows it’s a Lan, but that’s all he knows! Has he been trying to find…? Has he talked to someone else and Lan Wangji never noticed?

“Stop!” Lan Wangji says loudly. He can already see the smirk drawing on Wei Ying’s lips. Even if angers him to know this was yet another way to tease him, Lan Wangji still asks. “Who… Who are you giving them to?”

Wei Ying shrugs his shoulders, shifting his gaze from Lan Wangji back to the bunnies. He tickles their tummy as he hums his answer, “Dunno! Someone that’s good at roasting bunnies!”

His eyes grow wide at the answer. That’s far worse than Wei Ying giving them to someone else! “Killing it’s forbidden in the Cloud Recesses, it’s the third rule in the wall of discipline!” Lan Wangji recites in a hurry, cause now he’s questioning if Wei Ying remembers any of the rules. 

The other flashes a half smile on his way, a challenge dancing in his eyes. “Then I’ll leave the borders!”

This is unbelievable, it’s all Lan Wangji could think of. Wei Ying really had him cornered. Was this all so Lan Wangji would accept his gift? Or just to get under his skin because he’s finding loopholes in the rules. Fingers curl into a tight fist on top of his lap, knuckles turning white. Why is he even encouraging this behavior… “Give them to me…”

“Oh? What was that?” Wei Ying hummed, leaning closer to the Lan. The behavior only causes his ears to ignite with fury and embarrassment. “Now you want them? It’s so like you to not say what you mean the first time around.” 

The bunnies are set to roam freely on the table, leaving little prints on Lan Wangji’s report. The report he was about to finish and turn in… There’s a twitch under his eye, and the annoyance goes completely unnoticed by the Jiang teen, who had sat down on the table and was attempting to feed a piece of lettuce to the white furred bunny. “Look, Lan Zhan! This one looks just like you! It has a little frown and all! Oh, here comes the other one.” Wei Ying chuckles as he observes the two bunnies share the food provided for them. “Lan Zhan! They’re both eating from the same leaf! Just like a couple!”

There’s a glint of excitement in his silvery eyes as he narrates what both pets are doing, though at the implication of the buns being a couple it makes Lan Wangji’s heart hop hopelessly. 

“They… they can’t be a couple.” Lan Wangji mutters softly

Wei Wuxian stopped poking the black bunny to direct his attention to him. “Eh? What do you mean?”

“They’re both males…” 

“Wh—“ The Jiang teen furrows his brow in confusion and soon inspects the two fluffballs. His lips form a silent ‘oh’ before he bursts into laughter, “I didn’t even notice! Lan Zhan, ah Lan Zhan, where has your mind gone to?”

He should’ve seen this coming, which is why he shouldn’t have opened his mouth to begin with. He felt his body grow warm and his ears set ablaze. He just hopes Wei Wuxian doesn’t notice this reaction or he will combust and take the teen with him. 

“Get lost!” He tells Wei Wuxian off once again, unable to stop the outburst from coming out. Just like before, Wei Wuxian laughs that melodic yet annoying laugh. Before Lan Wangji could stand to push him away, Wei Wuxian had already ran to the window and jumped down.

“Bye bye, Lan-er-gege! Enjoy your gift!” He heard the other exclaim after he had disappeared.

Fists tremble by his side with contained emotions. He turns sharply and plops back to where he was sitting, burying his face in his hands in a meek attempt to block that radiant smile and that cheerful laugh. An exhale escapes his lips, what is he to do with these bunnies now? He has to return them to wherever Wei Ying had found them. His gaze raises and lands on the pair, who had huddled up together on top of his now ruined report. 

He can’t help his mind wandering to places, imagining himself leaning against a loquat tree on a sunny day while the obnoxious teen that had rudely stolen his heart rested his head peacefully on his lap.

“Wangji? Is everything alright? I have been calling—“

“Xiongzhang!” Lan Wangji said, alarmed, standing from his crouching position way too quickly to not be suspicious. 

Lan Wangji thought he had been sneaky enough, but he had forgotten he was supposed to have tea and meditate with his brother that same day. The scene before Lan Xichen’s eyes was of his younger brother standing as rigid as a board while attempting to use the skirts of his robes to cover something behind him. The younger Lan tried to school his expression, an excellent example of what someone unbothered by worldly matters should look like… Until a pair of bunnies hopped from under his robes. 

It proves to be difficult for Lan Xichen to hold his laughter, so he takes a few moments to compose himself before asking. “Oh? What do we have here?”

There are no words exchanged between the two brothers. Lan Wangji sighs quietly, crouching once more before picking both pets in his arms and walking out of the Jingshi. Amused, Lan Xichen follows after. They both reach the edge of the forest, the canopy above them swaying with grace at the soft wind. Once there, Lan Wangji reluctantly sets down both bunnies, staring at them for a beat or two before standing and rushing back to the Jingshi. Guess he won’t be getting an explanation after all. 

Lan Wangji serves tea for both of them, clearly moving on from whatever had transpired between him and those bunnies. But Lan Xichen wasn’t done investigating. “So… bunnies?”

“Mn.”

“Was there a reason why you were trying to hide them?” The question is left unanswered, but the older Twin Jade could already speculate what had happened. He has to hold back a chuckle for the sake of his younger brother’s sanity. “Alright, I won’t pry. Shall we get started, then?”

This time, Lan Wangji responds with a soft hum. Both Jades do handstands in unison, their movements fluid and synchronized to one another. Not another word was exchanged between the two, not even when the bunnies that Lan Wangji had shooed away returned and waited patiently at the steps of the Jingshi all huddled up.  

The evening had grown cold, the air carrying a heavy scent of rain their way. The sky had darkened and seemed to split open later on, leaving way to the first summer rain. Luckily, it didn’t stir the heat too much, given that there was barely any heat to worry about. 

The disciples residing in the sect had scattered like ants, seeking shelter from the heavy drops washing away what would’ve been the perfect summer day. Lan Wangji sat on the porch, watching raindrops bounce gently on the petals of the gentians surrounding his home. It was calming, refreshing even. He has a vague memory like this, just him, Lan Xichen and his mother watching the rainfall in a comfortable silence. While he and Lan Xichen sat on the porch, small hands leaving the safe space of the covers just to feel the drops falling in their hands, his mother sat just at the threshold of her home. Pale irises watching with delight at her two sons enjoying the rain. Looking back at it, he thought he had imagined it but now Lan Wangji is sure that he saw a glimpse of her mimicking what they were doing, fingertips extending just far enough to cross what separated her and the outside world, yet not daring to let her hand cross. She wanted to touch the rain just as both of them did. 

Lan Wangji did the same now, extending his hand further out until he felt the cold raindrops land on his open palm. The water pools quickly just before it spills down his arm. It’s soothing… grounding. 

A rustling sound snaps him out of his thoughts, eyes searching for the source of said sound. Soon, a very familiar couple of bunnies hop out of a bush drenched by the rain pour. It tugs a string in his heart, but he can’t bring them to his home… 

The white bunny stays close to the darker one as they hop together in search of shelter. Before Lan Wangji can stop them, both bunnies hop onto the porch, shaking in order to get rid of the water clinging to their bodies. Well, technically they came here by themselves… So it’s not breaking the rules, right? 

Gods, his thoughts are even starting to sound like Wei Ying’s. 

A sigh slips by, defeat clinging to his shoulders as he stands and walks into his home. Calmly, Lan Wangji searches for a towel or two, soon returning to where the drenched bunnies were. He starts with the darker one, gently scooping him into the towel and carefully drying it. It’s quick to settle in his arms, as if he always belonged there in the first place. Frivolous, he thinks, and it already reminds him of the boy that had invaded his very thoughts ever since that night under the moonlight. Who is he trying to fool, Lan Wangji had been thinking about Wei Ying ever since they were kids. 

Was he really going to keep denying what was in front of him? This entire time, Lan Wangji had been trying to lie to himself with the excuse to honor his mother… But was he really honoring her by being cruel to his soulmate? 

How disappointed would she be if she were to know Lan Wangji had denied his soulmate’s existence right in front of his face? Did he even deserve a soulmate…

“What should I do…” he mutters out loud, setting the now dry bunny to then pick up its companion.

Lan Wangji goes through the same motion, and soon both bunnies are fully dried, laying next one another next to the door of the Jingshi. Perhaps getting them a little food won’t be too bad. The weather is pretty bad, it will prove difficult to find any food. At least that’s what he tells himself as an excuse to go down to the kitchens in search of carrots.

The rain grows heavier, and it only makes him feel better for letting the buns take shelter in his home. Though, after it stops he’ll make sure to take them back to the forest. 

The Lan slowly makes his way down the path, the rain relentlessly beating on the umbrella shielding him. At least the sect was quiet for the night, and maybe he could get away with keeping the bunnies in the Jingshi for the night. 

A shadow passes quickly by his peripheral vision, speaking a bit too soon about the Cloud Recesses being at peace. Lan Wangji takes a detour, following the shadow until he notices it’s a person. If this is who he thinks it is…

Just as he thought, the boy with the dark robes and pale red ribbon jumped from the rooftop down to the courtyard. Does Wei Ying ever learn? Why is he always causing so much mischief? Already, Lan Wangji is following after him. He’ll make sure he kneels in the Ancestral Hall and repents.

Wei Wuxian is about to jump onto an eave when Lan Wangji stands in front of him. Once again, there’s two jars of Emperor’s Smile in his hand. How does he keep slipping through the wards without them signaling that someone has crossed?!

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian laughed nervously, and now that he was standing still the rain poured on him relentlessly. His bangs were stuck to his face, his robes drenched. Did he just shiver? “Ah, enjoying your stroll in the rain? I, uh… I forgot to bring an umbrella with me.”

“You’ve broken the rules again.” Lan Wangji says instead, “You are kneeling in the Ancestral Hall.”

“Oh— No, I’m okay.” Wei Wuxian answers instead, attempting to round the Twin Jade. “Maybe some other day. It’s freezing out here. Well, is not as bad anymore but—“

Lan Wangji didn’t wait another second, didn’t let him speak another word before unsheathing his sword and pointing it at Wei Wuxian’s throat. “You will receive punishment.”

Of course a smirk draws on Wei Wuxian’s face, “That’s a challenge I’m willing to take.” He retorts, taking one step back to put distance between the blade and his skin, “Fine, I’ll kneel in front of your Ancestors, if you catch me.”

The words almost get lost in the rain as he sets off, escaping Lan Wangji’s wrath. This time, Lan Wangji doesn’t bother to hold back. He follows him as if he had nothing to lose, set on the idea of catching the teen and bringing him to face his crimes. Just like the first time, Wei Ying evades all his advances with ease, dancing on the puddles created by the heavy rainfall. At some point, Wei Ying jumps onto the eave they had their first encounter and sets on another run. This time, Lan Wangji is faster, sheathing his sword as he runs after him. His hand reaches over, barely missing the teen’s sleeve. He tries again, and again and each time Wei Wuxian evades him.

“You want to catch me that bad, Lan Zhan? Fine, I’ll make it easier for you!” There’s a sly smirk on his lips, and Lan Wangji doesn’t like what that smile entails. Wei Ying has a plan and he’s not sure he wants to partake on it. This time, Wei Ying reaches for him, catching him off guard when his hand takes a fistful of his robes and yanks him closer. 

It all happened too fast, one moment they were on the walls, and then next they had fallen off to the other side. Wei Ying lands first, emitting a muted squish sound when his back hits the muddy ground. Lan Wangji lands on top of him, air being knocked out of both of them. His heart is racing faster than he has ever flown on his sword, and he can hear the pounding of Wei Wuxian’s heart against his chest. 

“Th-There. You caught me.” He feels Wei Ying’s voice rumbling, the sensation almost soothing, though Lan Wangji soon realizes his head is pressed on his chest and is quick to scramble upwards, hands slamming to each side of Wei Wuxian’s head. His own body was placed in between Wei Wuxian’s legs, which were spread out. It almost resembles… The image of the spring book springs to life, only this time it’s replaced by the teen under him, who was panting softly as he gazed up at him. 

Out of all the times for his brain to be creative and unrestrained…

There’s no smile, no teasing light on his features but Lan Wangji is not gonna wait for it to show up. Embarrassed to death, Lan Wangji attempts to scramble away from the obscene position, but a hand firmly grabs his wrist with a strength he had never felt before. Panic surges through his body at the sudden contact, and, without realizing, Lan Wangji grabs the same hand holding onto his wrist and pins it above Wei Ying’s head. “Wait—“ Wei Ying chokes out, but the words die when both of them are bathed in color at last.

Both teens pant as they gaze at one another, droplets of water falling from Lan Wangji’s hair onto Wei Ying’s face. There was a pink tint adorning his cheeks, stretching all the way down his neck. He was beautiful. He was oh so beautiful… 

And now Wei Ying can see colors too… he can see him. He’ll know who he is… There’s no more hiding it, no more denying it.

His grip tightens on Wei Ying’s hand, fingers instantly lacing. Colors bleed onto their surroundings the longer Lan Wangji holds his hand, painting his world like an artist bringing an empty canvas to life. That’s what Wei Ying was, the artist painting color into his life. 

Of course he would only admit such a thing when he got caught.

Silver eyes just grow wider by the seconds, pupils dilating the longer he stared at the youngest Twin Jade. The teen just stayed quiet, gawking at him as if in a trance. The longer he stayed quiet, the worse Lan Wangji’s anxiety became. 

“W-Wei Ying…” he stammers, the rest of the words getting caught behind the knot forming in his throat. Lan Wangji never stammers or is truly at a loss of words. Another new thing brought out by the teen underneath him.

Wei Ying takes a quiet breath, holding it for a second before releasing it with a soft: “Your eyes… they’re so pretty, Lan Zhan. Like little  winter suns…”

The compliment only makes Lan Wangji’s heart skip several beats, and he can feel his cheeks growing as warm as the tip of his ears. He doesn’t know if it’s due to the bond between his and Wei Ying’s soul, or if it’s just something else…  Nonetheless, the feeling is just too overwhelming for Lan Wangji. 

Lan Wangji hasn’t really changed one bit, hasn’t he? Just like the first time he experienced this, the urge to run away pulls at him. He averts his gaze, clenching his jaw in shame before he goes to pull away. A soft grunt escapes him, surprised when Wei Ying wraps his legs around Lan Wangji’s waist to keep him in place. 

“Wei Ying…!” He bites, voice pitched higher than he had ever heard it go. The embarrassment only deepens, and he wishes a lightning would strike him right at this instant. What is he supposed to say? What does Wei Ying expect him to say? Lan Wangji doesn’t doubt that he has pieced everything together, because he knows Wei Ying is too smart for his own good. The smartest person he’s ever met aside from his brother. 

“I don’t understand…” Wei Wuxian mumbles, more to himself than anything. Lan Wangji looks away, unable to hold Wei Ying’s scrutinizing gaze. “Why… I touched you before! How is this…”

He was right, Wei Wuxian had touched Lan Wangji multiple times, but the touches were always over his clothes, never skin to skin. The only one to do that was always Lan Wangji, whenever Wei Wuxian wasn’t aware. He thought he couldn’t get away with this, but the more quiet he stayed the more questions Wei Wuxian would ask. 

All of the sudden a joyful laugh takes him out of his thoughts. To see Wei Wuxian laughing freely, and bathed in so many vibrant colors prove to be too much for his heart. “I can’t believe this! You were the Lan I was looking for! Hah, I really can’t believe it…” 

The laughter slowly dies down to a series of  scattered giggles, and Lan Wangji just looks at him, not knowing what to say or how to even feel about the matter.

“Lan Zhan? Why are you looking at me like that? Why aren’t you…” The excitement gradually extinguishes from his usually bright silver eyes, he chuckles weakly. “Why… Why don’t you look surprised?”

Lan Wangji’s mouth becomes dry, anxiety creeping up and clogging his throat with everything he wants to say. What is there to say, even? Apologies? He can’t do it… he can’t even look Wei Wuxian in the eyes and admit his wrongs. Just like he had done all those years ago…

Wei Wuxian sucks in a breath before humming weakly in acceptance. “I get it…” he says, loosening the hold he had on the teen pinning him down. “You have that same look. Y’know, when you shoved me back then?”

Golden eyes grow wide, “Wei Ying—“

“Ah, I’m sorry for making you break the rules, Lan-er-gognzi.” Wei Ying apologizes with a strained laugh. The rain had stopped beating in Lan Wangji’s back, but seeing the forced smile, hearing the strain in his voice felt heavier than any boulder he had to lift when building his strength. “Good thing you caught me, though! A promise is a promise, I’ll kneel in your Ancestral Hall to receive my punishment.”

Wei Wuxian reluctantly slips his hand from Lan Wangji’s hold, and just like that the color drains from their little bubble. It dissolves like dust, and he absolutely hates how cold and dull Wei Ying looks. The Jiang teen crawls backwards until there’s a decent distance between the two. This is what he wanted, for Lan Wangji to let him be. Why does he hate it… Why does he have the strong urge to pull him back, hold him close and tight in his arms. 

Before he realizes, Wei Ying had gotten back on his feet, a nonchalant air surrounding him. “Aiya, what an eventful night. Oh, Lan Zhan, I never said thank you.” Wei Ying smiles at him as he talks, hands casually resting behind his head. He takes a step back, and then another. “Back then, you gave me your cloak. You saved my life, I’ll never forget that.”

He sucks in a sharp breath. What does he mean by that? In the most unflattering way, Lan Wangji scrambled to his feet. Never in his life had he been so improper. His robes, usually stain free, were muddied and wet. His hair plastered to his face and dripping, forehead ribbon askew, and for the first time he did not care for how he looked. He wanted to explain himself, even if he didn’t deserve that chance. In a blink of an eye, Wei Ying had disappeared into the night, leaving Lan Wangji all by himself under the cloudy sky. Alone and confused with his own thoughts. 

As promised, the Jiang Head Disciple kneeled on the gravel of the Ancestral Hall the next day.

Against his better judgment, Lan Wangji had kept their little feud to himself. To his surprise, however, Wei Ying had come clean on how he had left Cloud Recesses after curfew and had brought alcohol. This time, his punishment had been decided to be more severe, a hundred strikes with long, thick ferules. 

Lan Wangji had only found out because Jiang Cheng had been so loud about the injustice. The Jiang heir had sent a glare worth a hundred daggers his way, because he knew Lan Wangji had been involved too and yet, the Twin Jade had not received any punishment whatsoever. 

“Wei Wuxian,” one of the Lan elders called with contempt, “You have not learned to respect our sect rules. Your undisciplined behavior will not be tolerated for the time you remain a guest to our sect lectures.”

Wei Wuxian stayed quiet, head hung low in acceptance. The elder had expected more of a pushback, but he supposed this would work. The way Wei Wuxian’s body accepts, ready to receive whatever comes his way, as if he’s been in this predicament too many times to count.

Nails dig into his palm when his fingers curl into a fist. He can’t let Wei Wuxian face punishment by himself, not when Lan Wangji had broken a handful of rules himself. 

His body makes the decision before his mind, steps fast and steady in a graceful manner. The elder sputters when he sees the youngest Twin Jade step next to Wei Wuxian, the sandalwood ferule lowering just an inch. “Lan-er-gongzi, what are you doing? Ah, would you wish to implement the punishment?”

“No.” He simply answers. His gaze fell briefly on Wei Wuxian, who had kept his head lowered yet his hands had balled into fists on top of his lap. Even if it was true Wei Ying had broken the rules, it didn’t make it fair that Lan Wangji was getting away without one. Wordlessly, Lan Wangji falls to his knees next to his soulmate.

All eyes are on him, petrified and terrified at the sight of the second young master kneeling at the Ancestral Hall, next to a troublemaker nonetheless. 

“What are you doing?!” Wei Wuxian hisses under his breath, eyes still fixed forward and away from Lan Wangji. 

“Receiving punishment.” He states like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. He hears Wei Wuxian suck in a breath, sharp and quick. Still, he doesn’t look at him.

“Wangji, what are you doing? Get up!” From behind the elders, Lan Qiren makes himself present and ready to grab his nephew from the gravel. His hands barely grazed his sleeve when Lan Wangji moved away. “Wangji?”

“Wei Ying was not the only one to break the rules.” Lan Wangji spoke with contained fervor, “We both stepped out of the Cloud Recesses after curfew.”

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying shuffles closer, ready to shove him aside but is quickly restrained by two Lan disciples. “It’s not true! It was me! He didn’t even know—“

Lan Wangji shoots a soft glare towards the teen, who instantly quiets down. 

Everything stands still around them, it was so quiet one could hear a needle fall on the ground. Wide silver eyes gawk at him, stunned and unable to process what had just happened.

Lan Qiren is the first one to break the silence, his face had gone from a soft flush to dark with anger. “What is the meaning of this! Wangji, get up at once!”

Lan Wangji only answers with silence, staying rooted in his own place. His mind had been in turmoil since young, and even more so once Wei Ying came back to his life. The guilt he felt for letting Wei Ying slip from his fingertips haunted him, because he failed to stand by his side when he needed it. 

Well, not this time.

Never Again.

“Lan Zhan…” Wei Ying whispers next to him, gazing at the gravel below both their knees. Voice strained yet insistent. “Look, you’ve proven to be treated equally. I-I admire that, but you really don’t have to do this when I already took all the blame.”

Only then is when Lan Wangji turns his attention back to the teen kneeling next to him. His gaze softens just enough for the other one to notice, and he only hopes it conveys his thoughts. A second later, his gaze faces forward. His heart beats faster, like a rabbit racing to hide behind a bush from a predator. Lan Wangji had never been punished to this extent. Yes, he has had to copy the rules, and yes, he's had to do handstands while doing so but never record punishment from the ferule. 

But that did not compare to the thought of dishonoring his soulmate like he had been for the past months. It doesn’t compare to the fear he felt when he saw Wei Ying falling to the cold waters of Lake Billing. No punishment could measure to how he felt when he saw Wei Ying’s smile disappear because of his wrong doings.

“A hundred strikes for Wei Ying. Two hundred strikes for this one.” Lan Wangji commands sharply.

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying protests next to him, “What he receives, double it for me! He didn’t do anything, it was all me!”

“Strike!”

The water sloshes quietly as he walks into the pond. His muscles were still sore and tender from his punishment, and he could feel bruises flourishing like the very same flowers growing around the Jingshi. It was the right thing to do, and he does not regret it.

This punishment was overdue. No matter what others say, Lan Wangji deserved his punishment. For lying to his soulmate, for betraying himself and his sect’s teachings. For forsaking his mother’s teachings, as little and mundane as they were, Lan Wangji still held them at a higher standard just as the rules of his sect. 

A shiver runs up his spine without warning and he has to suppress a hiss the deeper he walks into the Cold Springs. He can still hear Wei Ying’s voice calling his name as his martial brother dragged him away. 

It was the right thing to do.

His muscles slowly start to unwind, the water already doing its trick. He had to remind himself to not let his core do all the healing, cause this was a lesson that he needed to take time to learn from. The water reached his waist, only then is when he let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. 

The sound of the small waterfall soothed his chaotic mind, relief flooding his limbs and getting rid of all the tension in his shoulders. Before he knew it, serenity washed over his body and he found himself in a meditative state.

It didn’t last for long, however. 

The sound was faint but still noticeable for any cultivator, or at least for a cultivator on his level. The steps were measured, careful and precise, they definitely belonged to someone who’s an expert in stealth and staying out of sight. It couldn’t be his brother, since this was the time he would usually meditate. 

The steps gradually grew louder, closer than what he had anticipated. A gasp follows after and only then is when Lan Wangji turns around. Silver eyes meet his pale golden ones, wide with surprise.

“Wei Ying…” his name slips from his lips, as if those are the only words he has ever uttered. 

“Lan Zhan.” Wei Ying whispers back, his body stiffening. “I didn’t know you were here.”

Before he knows it, Lan Wangji is walking to where Wei Ying stands, taking long strides. Lan Wangji doesn’t respond, yet there is so much he wants to say. ‘I’m sorry. I should’ve been by your side from the first moment I realized our souls belonged to one another. From this moment, I will honor my place as your soulmate.’

‘I won’t feel fear any longer.’

“I—“ Wei Ying starts, and for the first time, the carefree teen struggles to find the correct words. His hand travels up to the back of his neck, nervously rubbing it. It was definitely a sight to witness Wei Ying so reserved and careful. “Zewu-Jun told me about this place. H-He said it would help with... Ah, sorry. I’ll just—“

Sudden panic strikes once Wei Ying begins to turn. Lan Wangji moves forward, hand outstretched and reaching. “Don’t.” He whispers as soon as his fingers enclose around the teen’s wrist. The contact is sudden, causing the teen to tense up. Still, Wei Ying does not dare to spare a glance.

A beat goes by, he heaves a breath and then, “Let go, Lan Zhan…” There’s defeat in his usual cheerful voice, and it makes Lan Wangji wince because he knows he caused that. “You’ve made it clear that you don’t want anything to do with me. Trust me, I now get the hint.” 

“Wei Ying—“

“I already thanked you for helping me back then. That’s all I wanted… that’s why I came here in the first place.” Wei Ying confesses with a humorless chuckle, “When… When Jiang-shushu told Jiang Cheng he had to come to Gusu, I quickly wanted to tag along because I knew I would find my soulmate. The one that was kind to me… the one that saved me first.”

There’s a soft shake of his head, followed by a scoff. His left hand moves up, resting on his chest, “I felt something tug at me when we crossed paths that night. I knew… I just knew it was you, but then I touched you and… nothing happened.” The teen shakes his head sharply, “I felt so guilty for wanting you instead. I felt like I was betraying my soulmate, ‘cause I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I wanted to get your attention.”

For the first time since Wei Ying arrived in the Cold Spring, he finally offers the tiniest glance to the iron grip Lan Wangji had on his wrist. There’s a sad smile painted on his lips. “It wasn’t until last night that I realized it has to be skin to skin contact… I was so happy to know it was you!”

Wei Ying’s voice lowers to a whisper, “And then it all made sense… It made sense why you avoided being so close to me, or flinched whenever I tried to touch you. And then you said how you didn’t have a soulmate…” A scoff that could pass for a laugh slips from his lips as he shakes his head, “Isn’t that ironic? Funny, even. Well, you were right, it was a waste of time.”

“No. Not a waste of time.”

“Hah… Lan Zhan, what are you saying?!” Wei Ying turns his body just as he tries to yank his wrist free. “I could see it in your eyes, you don’t want me as your soulmate. That’s why… That’s why you keep shoving me away! You knew since the beginning, yet you didn’t– H-Hey! What are you—?!”

Lan Wangji had pulled him back into the freezing water with force, until their bodies collided. The freezing water wasn’t doing anything to lower the heat simmering under his skin, even less now that their bodies were flushed together. Wei Wuxian glared at him, a protest bubbling in his chest as he fought to be let go but Lan Wangji’s iron grip wouldn’t budge. He must have lost his mind, because words had been blocked off when plush lips pressed harshly against Wei Wuxian’s. 

The kiss was awkward and sloppy, but it worked wonders. He had dreamt about kissing Wei Ying for a while now, and it did not compare to the real deal. His lips were soft, plush. The urge to bite them was strong, but he didn’t want to push his luck more than he already was. In the end, it shut Wei Wuxian up just as he intended… even though he could’ve just used the silencing spell, but that would’ve just made him storm away!

Ever since Wei Wuxian had come into his life, everything had stopped making sense. Wei Wuxian had really turned his world upside down, and he feared if he didn’t act now… if he let him walk away like he had been for the past couple of months something bad was going to happen. 

Eventually, the tension lifts from Wei Wuxian’s body and melts into the kiss. Not caring for the freezing water, or that his robes were soaking wet. 

‘What did I just do? What did I just do? What did I just do?!’ The question kept blasting through Lan Wangji’s mind the longer he kept his lips pressed against Wei Ying’s. He was too scared to pull away and face the consequences of his actions, but what other choice did he have. He accidentally bites Wei Ying’s bottom lip, causing the other to choke on a squeak. That’s only when he pulls away, both of them panting softly as if they just finished sparing. 

Finally, Lan Wangji loosened his grip on Wei Ying’s wrist, staggering back and away. He doesn’t get far, though, because Wei Ying was now grabbing his hand and pulling him back. The world seemed more vibrant than what he had ever seen. It almost looked like everything had a candlelight glow, soft and haze-like. As if in a dream. 

Maybe this was really just a dream and he wasn’t really kissing Wei Ying, because Wei Ying would never be this quiet. 

It made his skin crawl to see him spacing out like that…

For the first time Lan Wangji hated that it was so quiet around them, and he felt the need to break the silence. He had to, right? He had kissed Wei Ying against his will! Once again, Lan Wangji had failed to uphold the rules of his sect. Acting by impulse, making irrational decisions without thinking further of the consequences. It was clear that the punishment he had received did nothing, it thought him nothing—!

“You… kissed me…” Wei Ying mutters under his breath, yet is loud enough to stop the train wreck Lan Wangji had going on in his head.

Fingers caress his lips with a gentleness he never thought Wei Wuxian to possess. The blush on his cheeks seems to deepen and spread down his neck. 

“Wei Ying, I-I— I’m so—“ the apology never leaves his lips for Wei Wuxian pressed a finger to his still glistening lips. 

“Don’t even dare…” Wei Ying stares at the water, small ripples disturbing the surface with the trembles raking both their bodies. “I don’t want your apology… I…”

He huffs quietly, and soon a laughter follows. Wei Wuxian tries to contain it by pulling his hand from Lan Wangji’s lips to cover his own. Still, his laugh spills without restraint, loud and boisterous. 

All Lan Wangji can do is watch him with slightly wide eyes, confused as to where Wei Ying is finding the humor in this. The more Wei Wuxian laughed, the more foolish Lan Wangji felt for his actions. He tries to escape Wei Ying’s grip once more. And just like the first time, Wei Ying kept it rooted in place by tightening his grip. 

“Wei Ying…!”

“I’m here, I’m here! Hah… Sorry, Lan Zhan. I-I really don’t mean to laugh. I’m just…” Wei Wuxian said between laughter, though it had simmered down until there were sparse giggles. Silver eyes regain that same shine they hold whenever they land on Lan Wangji. His gaze shifts to their hands, his smile dimming as his hold loosens. “I’m confused, I guess… One moment you hate the thought of being my soulmate, and the other you… kiss me?” The last part comes out as a squeak, the shade of pink darkening on his cheeks. The color looks adorable on Wei Ying’s skin, not to mention it makes his freckles more noticeable. Cute little stars marking the bridge of his nose to create constellations.

It is fair for Wei Ying to feel as such. Lan Wangji couldn’t begin to comprehend his own emotions and thoughts, but in that moment it felt like that was the correct thing to do. He didn’t want Wei Ying to walk away thinking the wrong thing, even if he himself had caused the misunderstanding in the first place. 

It wouldn’t hurt to tell him the truth, right? What was the point of hiding anything more when Wei Ying knew the most important thing? Guess it could also be a test for Wei Ying, to see if he truly understands him. 

Lan Wangji takes a steady breath, “A-Niang…” the knot in his throat only grows, causing it to hurt and making him want to keep everything to himself. He doesn’t know how to explain himself, or what words would be appropriate to use, but Wei Ying deserves an explanation. 

However, the mention of Lan Wangji’s mother has Wei Ying giving him all his attention. He’s never spoken about his mother out loud. It was forbidden to do so, even if it wasn’t written out in the wall of discipline, but it was treated as such. It made him nervous, but the way Wei Ying looked at him now… he still had that light in his eyes, but there was no teasing, no mischief, only concern and encouragement. It made the ice walls he had carefully built for himself slowly melt away.

He tries again, “A-Niang… was not able to… to see true colors.” He forces the words out, voice quieter than the murmurs of the waters in the Cold Spring. He’s not even sure Wei Ying heard him. Lan Wangji does not dare say any more, since just the mention of his mother was enough taboo. If there was something he had always hated in silence it was how his sect treated and acted when it concerned his mother. 

Madam Lan was the kindest, loving and funny person he had ever met. Lan Wangji understands she committed a crime, but he does not understand why everyone treated her as if she was a disease to the sect. Her name was spoken with contempt… it always made anger simmer under his skin but he did not dare to act on it. 

What could a child do when faced with a situation like that?

Wei Ying squeezed his hand, bringing Lan Wangji out of his thoughts. There was nothing but understanding in his silver eyes, “You should’ve said so since the beginning, er-gege.” The term of endearment has his skin becoming warm, not even the Cold Springs could lower his temperature. Only Wei Ying could get away calling him such, not even his brother would go that far. “Aiya, you had me running around in circles! Really had me thinking you hated soulmates just because! Lan Zhan, you really are honorable and loyal.”

Wei Wuxian leans closer, placing a kiss on Lan Wangji’s cheek before quickly pulling away. He giggles to himself at how Lan Wangji seemed to have stopped breathing after the action. “I get to do that now! Ah, Lan Zhan, I can’t believe this! Lan Zhan ah, Lan Zhan, I’m so happy! Does this mean you and I are going to be mated for life? Are you okay with that, er-gege? Oh, is your Shufu going to be okay with that? Aiya, he will have a qi divination once he finds out!”

Lan Wangji huffs quietly, his uncle will have to accept this… 

“Was that a laugh I heard? You actually laughed? Ah… Lan Zhan, let’s get out of the water! I know I feel all warm next to you but the waters are freezing still! Take responsibility, your soulmate is cold!”

There was no hesitation in his actions, Lan Wangji hooked his arms under Wei Wuxian’s legs and scooped him up. It satisfied him when Wei Wuxian threw his hand over his neck and shoulders for support. There was a bright blush adorning his cheeks, and he couldn’t help but want to kiss them. Yet, he restrained himself. He must keep restraining himself until both their families know about this. 

“Warn a guy next time! You think now you can do whatever you like? Well, I have news for you! You’ll have to court me properly! No soulmate of mine will get away that easily for hurting my feelings for so long.” Wei Wuxian added with a scoff, feigning annoyance. “Now you’ll have to come to Lotus Pier. You have no choice!”

“Mn.” Lan Wangji agreed to everything Wei Wuxian was saying. 

“You’re actually agreeing? Oh, I see, now that your secret is out then you just agree to everything I ask?” Wei Wuxian sighs softly, averting his eyes, “I’m telling you, you won’t win me over so easily. Well, what if I don’t want you as my soulmate, what are you going to do, hm? Just because I kept your cloak all these years doesn't mean anything!”

Lan Wangji stops on his tracks, carefully setting Wei Ying down and picking his own outer robe and wrapping it around Wei Ying’s trembling frame. “Wei Ying kept my cloak…?”

Now it was Wei Wuxian’s turn to be caught off guard. “I— well… Well!” The shade of red adorning his cheeks seems to deepen. He hadn’t realized he said so much. He wraps the outer robe given to him tighter around his body as he averts his gaze from the piercing golden gazes. This really felt a repeat of that day, Lan Wangji dutiful wrapping his winter cloak over Wei Wuxian’s frame while they were both in the middle of a blizzard. And now, it was him draping his own outer robe for the sake of keeping the breeze from making him shiver. “D-Don’t look at me like that! Of course I kept it… you really expected me to throw it away…? I told you it saved my life…”

Lan Wangji gazes at him, conflicted on wanting to ask what happened and not wanting to pry. Wei Wuxian gives him a side glance and sighs in defeat, “I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you, but can I get a change of clothes? I’m really cold… Aiya, how can you even manage being in here practically… uh…” the words seem to get stuck in Wei Wuxian’s throat as he tries not to take a peek under Lan Wangji’s inner robe. Despite seeing him bare chest a few moments ago, now it just seemed too improper to think about. 

“You… kept it…” Lan Wangji repeats, gaze becoming incredibly soft, it made the other teen want to shy away and kiss him all at once.

“Aiya… it was your first courting gift, how could I even get rid of it… At least, that’s how I saw it. Even though you shoved me into the snow…”

“I apologize for that.” Lan Wangji says quickly, a twinge of panic in his eyes. “I will never push Wei Ying away…”

Wei Ying chuckles, grabbing the other’s hand once more. Their world gets covered in all the colors they thought would be impossible to see. Silver eyes sparkle like small moons as they stare up at warm winter sun eyes. A blinding smile soon lights up Wei Ying’s face like it always did, “That’s such a big promise! Don’t you Lan have a rule of not lying? I am a bad influence on you, after all! Your Shufu will really string me up when he finds out the purest Jade got corrupted by me!”

There’s a slight curve just at the corner of Lan Wangji’s lips, barely visible but there nonetheless. “I do not lie.”

He hadn’t thought much about it then, but seeing Wei Wuxian wearing the colors of his sect once more had reminded him how he liked how they boy in the snow looked wearing his sect colors. Hand in hand, both teens walk down the path of the Cold Springs, concealing hushed laughers and promises of forever after. 

The summer breeze dances past them, making the gentians that had grown along the path sway gently. He sends a silent thought up to his mother, hoping she can hear him and see that she had been right about that special person who would take the time to know him and cherish him. 

“Lan Zhan, the color of those flowers it’s beautiful!” Wei Ying points out when he noticed the other gazing at them for a second too long. 

“Mn.” He agrees as they walk by.

‘A-Niang, the gentians are as beautiful as they have always been.’