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Aegon didn't feel loved when Viserys decided to host a royal hunt in honor of his second nameday. The grand event that was meant to celebrate his life and a gesture of affection towards him had felt more like a public display of the Crown's wealth and glamour. The loud cheers and merry wishes coming from Lords all over the Realm sounded so hollow to him. They thought more about the new King-to-be who would soon bear the crown than the boy who would wear it.
Unfortunately, his father never named him as his new heir anyways and kept firm on his decision for his older sister to be Queen.
Still he didn’t feel loved when the smallfolk watched as he was crowned King of the Seven Kingdoms, the weight of the Conqueror’s crown pressing down on his brow like a burden for him to carry until his death rather than a good blessing to bear.
The crown itself symbolized the power and responsibility that had been in their family for generations, but as appealing as ruling a whole fucking kingdom might appear to be, it did not come with the warmth or comfort of love Aegon so desperately craved. In those fleeting moments, love seemed distant, reduced to a mere formality, like it was one-sided and almost transactional. It felt as if the people around him showed him love only to gain something like his favor in return, they never truly came to him offering their love freely because they had wanted to.
Aegon wished for a love that was pure and unconditional, not the kind he was so used to receive that came riddled with high expectations and hidden motives. He never was a romantic, but even he knew that love wasn’t supposed to make you feel trapped.
Aegon felt love when his mother’s comforting hands gently rubbed his back, ever so steady and soothing, as she helped hold his hair up while he emptied the contents of his stomach after drinking himself sick. In those quiet moments that he let her see his vulnerability, her touch felt more than just a comfort, it was his shield against the harshness of it all, a constant he had in his life. He felt her love in intense waves when she stepped in front of him to protect him just as she used to when he was a child, standing steadfast as the only barrier between him and the fiery wrath of Rhaenys' dragon. To Aegon, his mother had never looked more beautiful than in that moment, even with the look of horror plastered on her face. Her courage was a testament to the unconditional love she had for him, a love so pure that no one else but one's own mother could give to her child.
Aegon recognized love was supposed to feel like his mother’s lifelong struggle and tireless fight for his birthright as the King’s eldest son and true heir to the Iron Throne. It was in her sacrifices and her silent battles waged in the small council that he found her to be the truest expression of love. Her love wasn’t just in her words, but in her every action growing with every choice she made to secure his future even if she had to give her own life for it.
Aegon came to view love as something like her. His mother who always defended his honor despite his shortcomings and her disappointment, she fought for him not because of what he could give her in return, but because he was simply her son, and that was enough reason to.
Love is mother, he acknowledged it one day as he sat upon the Iron Throne that she had put him on, observing the people around him and the way they moved almost robotically in his presence, afraid they'd anger him somehow. It was in that moment, as he watched her glide through the crowd of people and they willingly made way for her like the true queen she was, that he felt a deep sense of elation wash over his senses. He marveled over the fact that he was once held in the arms by the likes of her, his mother whose unwavering faith in him had placed someone as undeserving as him on the throne. His reign was not merely a result of his own actions and the twisted men seated at his council, but because of his mother's years long efforts.
Yet, for all the love he felt from her, the good, bad, and ugly manifestations of it, Aegon could only stare at her as he struggled to express his own love for her in return. He was never skilled with words and flattery, having missed almost every single etiquette class he had with the maesters, and his actions always fell short of what he wished to convey. It was as if the love he had for her was kept locked inside him, unable to find a way out the crypts of his dark mind. Everything he did out of the goodness of his heart all lately seemed to bring only disappointment to his mother. The warm gaze she reserved for only her firstborn son now held a perpetual frown, her dark eyes downcast and her pretty face troubled whenever she was in the same room with him. The sadness in her eyes as they locked with his teary ones weighed so heavily on him, filling him with a growing sense of dread he could not get off his chest. He wanted to make her proud, make her see him as the good king he can be, to show her the depth of his love for her that he felt not even his little brother could compare to, but he didn’t know how to and it ate at him whenever he saw his mother.
"Do you love me?" he demanded, barging into her chambers that night with nothing on but trousers he had haphazardly put on in his hurried daze. She was seated at her vanity, brushing her dark curls that were so much like his, already preparing to retire for bed when he stormed in. The look on her face as he approached her with long, uneasy strides was almost enough to send him cowering back to his own chambers. His sudden intrusion and the desperation in his voice made her pause, her brows furrowing together as she pondered how to respond to him.
A heavy, almost sufficating silence hung between them as she took her time mulling over his question. Finally, she stood up from her chair and walked over to the foot of her bed, her movements graceful and regal even when it was only him in the room. Without a word, she gestured to the spot beside her as she looked at him, a silent invitation for him to sit beside her. He followed her unspoken instructions, every movement driven by his desire to please her.
As he sat beside her, his anticipation grew, his eyes fixed on hers, waiting for her to say something anything. The impatience that often overpowered him became all the more difficult to suppress in her presence. He was desperate for her voice, for some answer that proved she loved him, that she still saw him as her baby boy and not just as her King, or worse, a stranger in the shell of the body she once held close to her heart.
She parted her lips as if to speak, but no words came. Instead, she sighed deeply and reached up to touch his face. The moment her hand made contact with his skin, Aegon felt like he melted into her touch, his resolve and desperate need for answers dissolving in the warmth of her affection. For a moment, everything seemed right, as if her touch alone could soothe the doubt within him.
But then as his eyes began to close, he saw it, the troubled look etched across her pretty features. The comfort he’d felt mere seconds before shattered, leaving him staring wide-eyed at the conflict in her eyes. Aegon frowned, the weight of her words unspoken crushing down on him. He jerked away from her touch like she was fire and she was burning him, his tears welling up in his eyes as the feeling he had earlier returned.
Without hesitation, he took her small hands fully into his bigger ones, cradling them as though they were the most precious things in the world, and to some degree, they were. He brought her knuckles to his lips, kissing them so tenderly, attempting to convey everything he couldn’t say to her with words. He pressed her open palm to his bare chest, allowing her to feel the wild, erratic beat of his heart. His heart that she had created inside her and brought to life, a heart that only ached for her love, her approval, her understanding.
"Aegon... I-"
"You hate me, don't you," he whispered with his lips to the shell of her ear, shuddering as he pulled her into an embrace that spoke louder than any meaningless words he could utter. He nuzzled his face into the nape of her neck, his breath hot against her skin as he seeked comfort in their warm embrace. As he gently stroked her hair, Aegon felt an overwhelming sense of rightness. His long fingers combing through her auburn locks that mirrored the way she had used to do for him, combing through his unruly hair before he decided to cut it short with his dagger in an act of defiance.
He was fond of his long hair, it was what made him appear Targaryen, but cutting it had made Aegon realize that mother was meaner to him than his siblings. Always pinching him when he'd lash out as a stubborn toddler, hitting him when he said things out of line. He could still remember the first time his mother's delicate hand met the side of his face in a harsh slap when she saw the piles of silver hair on the floor of his chambers. He could still see the instant regret and shock on her face after the act had been done. She fell to her knees and clutched the fallen tresses of his once long, silver hair close to her chest. She mourned and sobbed over them like he had been lost to her when he was just standing right there, dejectedly clutching his reddened cheek. He had visited the barbers the next morning to fix the jagged edges, but his mother did not speak a word to him for weeks.
A soft gasp escaped her lips as his nose brushed against her neck, the sensation sending shivers down her spine like he was a man made of ice. His nails grazed her scalp to hold her closer to him, to keep her within the safety of his arms. She had attempted to pull away when he began nibbling on her neck, trying so hard to resist the raw intimacy of the moment, but his strong hands refused to let her go. He was stronger than his mother now, and he held her as tightly as he had been held as a babe, cradled close to her where he had first known the comfort of what love could be.
"It was meant to be this way," he said to her with so much conviction in his voice like he was so sure of himself. They were meant to be this way, she created and loved him and thus their connection ran deeper than just blood, rather, by a love that defied any reason.
"Let me take care of you, mummy," he whispered as he gently eased her onto her back, his words laced with a twisted sense of affection and a promise he was set on fulfilling. Though she resisted his touch at first with her body tensing and growing stiff beneath his touch, but her struggles were weak and half-hearted almost as if a part of her had already surrendered to him completely.
Aegon swung a leg over her, caging her wide hips that had once borne the weight of him in the innocence of infancy, now she was positioned beneath him in a scene that was more befitting for a husband and wife, not a mother and son, it distorted the very nature of their bond.
He pinned her arms above her head, his gaze fixed on her angelic face as tears welled up in her eyes. She could have screamed for him to stop and he will, could have called for her guards to forcefully peel her away from him and they would, but no sound dared to escape her lips. A part of her wanted to, but another part buried so deep within her had won and kept her silent. The conflict in her eyes made Aegon’s heart race with a sick excitement. The thrill of him taking his father's place surged through him, she both wanted and hated what was about to happen.
Aegon had to remind himself that this was not about just merely claiming her. Not about taking something that wasn’t his. This was about giving, offering her the pleasure he so believed that she deserved. He thought that she deserved better, not the passionless touch of someone like his own father, she deserved her son all to herself.
They could never truly understand and love her like he was supposed to. He was made from her own blood, and who could love her more completely than the life she had created?
He kissed her tentatively at first, his lips trembling as they met hers, their tears mixing adding a bitterness to the act. His kiss was desperate, a silent hope for something she could never truly name.
She clung to the teachings of Old Town and the Seven that had shaped her life and whole being, the belief that a woman's duty was to serve her husband and children, to put all their needs first before her own. And what was this if not a twisted extension of that duty? To serve Aegon, to fulfill his needs always, no matter how dark, no matter how convoluted they turned out to be.
If this was what he needed from her, what he demanded as both her son and her King, then who was she to refuse? The thoughts swirled in her mind, tearing against the walls of her resolve as she allows him to ravish her lips, each kiss deepening the divide between what she knew to be right and what she felt compelled to do.
So she says nothing and lets Aegon slowly undress her as he slips the straps of her nightgown off her shoulders, tugging the material down her body until the thin fabric pooled around her ankles and she was left bare for him like how she came into this world. Her nipples harden when the cold air brushed against it, goosebumps quickly appearing on her pale skin. She watches as Aegon licks his lips wet and ducks down to take one of them into his hot mouth, the sensation sending tremors through her entire body as she watches him nurse from her teats again like the day he was born. The image of the babe he once was and the grown man beneath her mixing in her mind, which left her feeling disturbed. His teeth lightly grazed at her sensitive nub and her thoughts blank as her thighs instinctively squeeze shut, trying to satiate the ever growing heat slowly forming at her core.
Aegon reaches down between their hot bodies and spreads her legs once more to start slowly rutting into her, the only thing separating them is the thin material of his trousers. Her breath catches on her throat as she could feel the very outline of his cock rubbing against her wet folds and she forces the back of her hand to her mouth to stop the sounds threatening to spill from her, they were too sinful for her to let into the world. He lets her nipple go with an obscenely loud pop and he stares down at her state once again, his fingers mindlessly caressing her exposed skin.
Aegon had always been obsessed with touching her, always wanting to have a part of her he could attach himself to even as a little child. He would always grab at her fingers, pull at her dresses, or twirl stray strands of her hair with his tiny hands. He had taken it into adulthood and it was her fault for indulging his rotten habits and letting it continue to fester within him until it had consumed him whole.
She was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, her chest heaving as she struggled to steady her ragged breathing. The intense stare from Aegon made Alicent want to shrink away, wishing fervently that the bed could swallow her whole and spare her from the sins they were about to commit. Despite her thoughts, Aegon's fingers continued their journey, moving from her hips, gliding along the sides of her body, and eventually coming back to rest on her breasts. He touched her like if he was mapping out every part of her that had once nurtured him, each caress a reminder that bound them together in this moment of intimacy. He moves down to kiss her thighs, his nose dangerously brushing past her core as he moved to her navel and continued on until he reached her neck, whispering praises after every kiss, showering her with love she was denied of her whole life.
She deserved to be loved by him, for she was the one who had cared for him when he was helpless, nurturing him through his earliest years. She was the one who had brought him into this world and raised him alone, with nothing but the seed of his absent, godforsaken father.
"I do not hate you, Aegon," she sobbed into him as she kissed his cheek, allowing him to nestle into her soft hair that always smelled sweet of honey and cinnamon for as long as he could remember. He halted his movements and propped himself up to hover over her, his forehead resting gently against hers. His comforting hand began to trace slow, soothing patterns on her hips again, the tender gestures meant to ease her trembling form. As she clung to him, he continued to murmur soft words of reassurance while he lovingly cradled her in his embrace. His touch was meant to bring comfort to her, to offer her a moment of peace amidst her suffering.
"Will you have me, mother, just as you had me in you years ago." He finallys says, his voice barely above a whisper, lost in the quiet of the room. For a moment, he feared his words might have gone unheard. However, he soon felt her weakly nod her head against him, her hands gripping his shoulders with desperation. Holding on to her child as she feared they might fall apart if she didn't hold on to him, her touch both a reassurance and a silent affirmation she did care for him. Her fingers started digging into him with an almost primal need, seeking her own comfort in the midst of their shared troubles.
Aegon kisses her on the lips again before pushing himself up to untie his trousers and slipping them off, exposing all of himself in front of her. She swallowed at the sheer size of him, unsure how all of him could ever fit in her all at once. He sits back on the bed and looks at her, bidding her to come over to him, his eyes widen when she slowly comes crawling to him without a word, her compliance equally terrifying and exhilarating. He pulls her on top of him as she straddles herself on his thighs, glassy eyes flitting up to his own purple ones and back down to his throbbing cock beneath her. She shudders as he positions himself near her entrance, she wraps her arms around his neck and allows herself to rest her head against the base of it, her hot breath making the hairs on Aegon's arms to stand. An almost guttural moan escapes her as Aegon's firm hold on either side of her hips pushed her down all of his length, letting her take him all as he buried himself in her.
He took it upon himself to pray to all his mother's Gods so that they forgive her sins tomorrow when they see her praying in the sept at first light with his seed dripping out of her.
Incomprehensible words kept spilling out of her mouth through the discomfort when her walls slowly stretched to adjust to her son's cock. She was tight despite her mature age and even after birthing him and his siblings.
The thought of another man, his father, having been in his place years ago made bile rise to his throat and he wanted nothing more than to kill the dead man again. He would murder him in cold blood, even if it meant he would not exist, then his mother would have still been the innocent girl she once was, free of the burden of him. Aegon's thoughts are cut short with a whimper as she clenched around him, squeezing him deliciously tight, he wanted to have his lust control him and thrust into her like an animal gone wild. But, he had to restrain himself for his mother was a delicate little thing that needed love and care. She was not some Flea Bottom whore he could just use for his pleasure and then discard once he was finished. She was his mother and she was the perfect image of the Mother above, she deserved every good thing Aegon could offer her, the purest of love, not just a quick fuck.
"I'm sorry, m-mother," he rasped, his voice choked with overflowing emotion. Hot tears fell from his eyes, mingling with hers as he rocked them gently, reminiscent of how she used to lull him to the comfort of sleep.
"For always being difficult, for being the exact opposite of how you wanted me to become." Aegon sucks in a breath, feeling like all the air in his lungs had been knocked out of him. He didn't like his confession, he wasn't a bad kid, he just wanted her attention. She slowly raises her head from his shoulder and shakes her head at him before gently kissing his tears away, her touch tender as she pushes his tangled hair away from his face to better see him in the firelight.
She feels sick to her stomach when she gets a full look at his face. The darkness of the room could not properly illuminate his Valyrian features. In this light, he almost looked exactly like herself, like she was gazing into her reflection. Though he had inherited his father's silver hair and purple eyes, every other aspect of him was distinctly hers, from his somber eyes to his trembling lips, even her nasty habit of picking at her nails until they were bloody. Aegon sometimes wondered if her resentment toward him stemmed from the fact that he was a reflection of her in every way but one.
"Do you regret any of it? Having me?"
"We've had our struggles, but our moments of weakness do not define us," she murmured, her voice soft and soothing. As she felt Aegon twitch inside her, she sighed deeply, her calming words intended to comfort him, but he felt like it was for herself as well. Her touch was gentle always, attempting to soothe the tension from his body and bring him back to a state of calm. His hips stutter and she could feel him drag through her walls ever so slightly, the sensation making her curl her toes and gasp for air.
"I'll make you feel good, mummy. Better than any man ever will." Aegon's hot breath was on her face once again in a low whisper. He holds her hips tightly and raises her up, almost pulling out of her cunt entirely. She whines at the emptiness she felt in her after having him inside for the last few minutes. Aegon groans when he slowly sinks himself back into her, legs shaking at the intensity and shame of fucking one's own mother.
Targaryens had queer customs, but even they had their limits. They both knew it was wrong, but how can something so bad feel so natural, like he was meant to be inside her again?
She started out slow, testing the waters and moving her hips so his cock was dragging through her walls and she felt every single vein and curve of him. She bit her lips in concentration and her hair started sticking to her forehead and back with sweat. She mostly tried to stay silent save from the few moans she could not stop when his cock pushed against a certain part inside her. Aegon had his head thrown back in bliss, mouth parted to unabashedly let his moans out as he's patiently taking everything his mother was giving him like her good little boy.
"Aegon, I feel...there is...I'm gonna-" her words made no sense to him as she neared her release, but he could feel it in the way she started rutting into him faster, her legs shaking and threatening to close on either side of him. He knew she was close. Aegon held her up in the air and thrusted hard into her and that was enough for the coil in her to explode, her walls coated him white as it dripped down his cock and down his thighs. She released a shuddering breath as he continued to thrust into her to allow her to come down from her high.
She collapsed into him almost immediately, her chest heaving softly and syncing with his own and her hands pressed to his arms for support. Aegon places a kiss to her temple and moves them on the bed so she could lay on her back for him, never once pulling out of her. He places both her knees on his shoulders and buries his cock deeper into her, deeper than anyone had ever gone into her. This newfound sensation sent her into a mess of cries and moans, his name the only thing she could remember to say in her sex-addled state.
"I love you, I love you so much." He mumbles, kissing her shoulder before pulling out and slamming himself back in. A high-pitched squeal escapes her and she tries to cover her mouth in shame, but he pinned her hands down and intertwined their fingers beside her head. He started with a comfortable slow rhythm as he savored her cunt that was slick with her release, she was taking him so well that Aegon felt like he wouldn't last any longer. He looked down at their interconnected bodies and watched himself slip in and out of his mother, her soft cries of pleasure begging him for more ringing in his ears. He smiled at her as he quickened his pace, taking her hardened nipple in his mouth once again, his hand coming up to massage the other as he suckled on her, swirling the nub with his tongue and alternating between sucking and licking.
Their chorused moans bounced off the confines of the four walls of his mother's chambers, reminding him that whatever transpired inside would have to stay with the both of them like a grave secret.
Aegon hated the idea at first, to pretend he wasn't just carnally fucking his mother the night before as they stood in front of the pompous lords and ladies at court, but he eventually caved in when the thought of their clandestine relationship remained intimately between them. Their little secret, something he had over everyone in the castle.
Aegon felt the telltale signs of her release as her moans became breathy and her thighs started to convulse around him. He was close too, his thrusts becoming erratic as he selfishly chased after his own release, his moans muffled on her teats sending her waves and waves of pleasure. She lets go of his hand and wraps them around his neck, pulling her closer so their beating hearts beat as one when she whispers sweet nothings into his ear, every moan she let past her lips tickling him. One final thrust sends her reeling as her release washes over her, Aegon's hips halt their movement as he felt his own high approach him as her walls tighten around him, milking his cock dry while his thick seed spilled into his mother. She tries to get him to pull out but he grips her close to him and empties his load in her before he removes his softening cock out of her used cunt.
He collapses beside her on the bed, their chests rising up and down in quick intervals as they both tried to recover their lost breaths after their coupling. Alicent turns to face him and opens her arm to him and Aegon is quick to slide into her embrace, pressing himself flush against her body. He places a heavy hand over her waist and buries his nose into the valley of her breasts, inhaling her scent and his on her skin. Her fingers started softly running across his short hair as he stilled beside her.
She was lost in thought after everything that had just happened between her and her own son. No man had ever pleasured her the way that he did, and Alicent almost felt betrayed she had never experienced her peak before he gave it to her. But at the same time, she knew it was perverse, against the laws of the faith, of her own motherhood, of her righteous beliefs.
"You never answered me, do you love me?"
Alicent jumped as his husky voice, muffled against her breast, broke the silence. He slowly peeled himself away and lifted his gaze to her face, seeking for the answer she had yet to provide him, examining her face for any signs of disgust or regret.
"Mother," he repeated softly when she says nothing in her dazed state, his eyes locked onto hers with a vulnerability of a child, her child.
She swallowed hard at his use of the word and the overbearing burden and responsibility it held.
As her son, of course she loved him, possibly even more than her duty to the realm, her own life, and her very soul. She would do anything for him if he just asked her for it, without a single doubt of question.
Aegon as her lover, as a man she had witnessed grow up in her care, she was unsure of her feelings. Part of her loved him simply as Aegon, the one who could bring her such intense pleasure, but the Gods had dealt her a cruel fate in making him one of her own. He was her firstborn, her first challenge at just six and ten years old, and now, he was both everything to her and something wrong and forbidden.
"Yes, I love you, Aegon." Her voice was low, wavering as if she were unsure whether her exhaustion or her own attempt to convince herself was affecting her words. She was grappling with the realization that her love might extend beyond the bounds of what was deemed appropriate for a mother’s affection.
“Mmh, I love you too,” he murmured against her skin, his voice barely audible before he finally drifted off to sleep, content and satisfied he was able to show her his love and devotion in the only way he knew best.
Alicent lay there in the quiet aftermath with her thoughts crashing into her like an all-consuming turbulent sea of guilt and shame. She could feel the weight of their actions settling around her with the wetness that pooled between her legs, a physical remnant of their shared passion.
As she looked down at her son, Aegon, now peacefully asleep, she felt a mix of bittersweet emotions overcome her. The boy she had raised, the son she had fought so hard for, was now entwined with her in more intimate ways than she could have ever imagined.
Her chambers were dimly lit by the fire crackling near them, its light casting long, disfigured shadows that danced on the walls reminding her so much of the fickle nobility that followed her every waking movement. Oh how they would ridicule her if they find out of her disgraceful deeds, the self-righteous, ever pious, perfect Queen Dowager, falling apart as she begs for her son's cock.
It would be her unbecoming.
Alicent's heart ached with a tinge of regret, humiliation creeping in her heart, but the affection she held towards her boy would outweigh and overpower everything else. She would push it all down and bury it with no remorse if she had to. She knew that what they had done cannot be erased in the eyes of the Seven, their impulsive act of passion taking control of them and letting their emotions and desires rule their heads to a point where they could not fully comprehend what was happening.
She stroked his face gently, her fingers lingering on his lips as if trying to relive the moment of how he kissed her in her memory. Feeling the warmth of his body pressed against her own was both oddly comforting and deeply disturbing, a stark reminder of the ever growing complexity of their shared bond. She had always been his protector, his guide, teaching him of proper decorum and religous studies she'd learned from her own mother, but now their relationship had ventured into uncharted territory even for her, one that crossed the very boundaries she had set. He was Targaryen, it was almost natural for him to desire the familiar love of someone close to him, she had tried to understand their customs, no matter how wrong it had felt.
Her mind drifted back to the early years, the days when she was just a young mother who had held her first child no longer than 3 moons ago, brimming with hope for her son to have a great future and legacy ahead of him. She had envisioned her life to be of sacrifice and of duty to her children and kingdom, a life that now seemed too far, tainted black by the choices they had made behind closed doors. Despite the moral and ethical problems she was faced with, she felt a deep, unshakeable love for Aegon still, a love that had always been present but had turned sick and transformed and has now taken on a new, unsettling form.
As she lay there, holding him close, she desperately tried to find a reasoning behind their actions, though deeply flawed, she had only done so out of her duty to him as his mother.
What would they have her do if not to console him when he cried? No matter how absurd her methods may be.
In the quiet of the night, she closed her eyes shut and whispered silent prayers to the Mother Above, asking for mercy, begging that amidst their damnation she may find a way to absolve them of their transgressions, to seek some sort of forgiveness so she might be able to face the world without shame. Alicent's eyes grew heavier with every prayer she finished. She might as well have prayed to every faction of the Seven before the fatigue of the whole day caught up to her, and she drifted off to an uneasy sleep. She clung to him with the hope that the unconditional love she had for her son, no matter how it had manifested, was enough to grant her forgiveness.