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a dilemma, crisis even.

Summary:

kirby olsen hates himself so much for a lot of different things, all of which have to do with being queer.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: bully!!

Chapter Text

kirby liked girls, he knew it.. or at least he tried to, he tried to make himself like girls but it was difficult to say the least, it wasnt that he was gay, of course not. But hed be lying if he said it didnt make his stomach flip after games and all his buddies were in the showers and they were shirtless and sweaty and—

..and not girls. They arent girls. So it doesnt matter. It doesnt make him gay to check dudes out right? i mean.. a good looking guys a good looking guy right? i mean christian bales pretty hot but everyone looked at that guy and drooled! …right? probably not.

that isnt the point, or— it is. But not about christian bale, its about trent northwick, kirby had talked to him in passing periods once or twice, trent was cool, sure he was a dick but,, who wasnt? shoving algie into any trashcan was something everyone at school did, except for algie and his buddies.

that isnt the point! stay on topic.

trent. theyd barely talked, they werent that different but at the same time they were, trent was taller, he wasnt really sporty— he was a wannabe movie star,, well to HIM hes not a wannabe- he is a movie star, (though the only thing hes every really starred in a school bullying psa, and the same day he got detention for shoving a kid into a locker and leavign them there till the end of the day, he didnt even help them out of it he forgot they were there and tried busting into the locker.)
aside from that trent had pretty blue eyes and pretty blond hair, he had a pretty voice and a real pretty face and—

stop that.

this is stupid. really stupid. he shouldnt feel like that, trents a dude, kirby just looks up to him!.. is it normal to imagine yourself kissing someone you look up to as friend? ..probably not? kirby isnt sure.

trent and kirby were different in the way that trent had made out with basically every boy and girl on campus, while kirby had kissed 2 girls. Mandy wiles, and eunice, the weird chic, he didnt know her last name. no one likes her, hell he was paid to kiss her, either way he hated both instances, they made him feel sick. He wondered how itd feel if it was trent.

“yo kirby! you good?”

oh right.

“yeah im good!”

hes been zoning out for like a good 20 minutes having a crisis, the games ended everyones already out of the shower and getting ready to go home— or to their dorms rather.
He probably should to, there was a party tonight, he might go to that, maybe kiss a girl or something, and not think abt the hot guys on campus, guys..? who are the hot guys even? johnny vincents pretty hot, so is peanut romano, and ricky, ethan was to, of course trent— jimmy hopkins is also kinda—

ok stop.

Chapter 2: party

Summary:

erm

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

kirby liked parties, its fun to get drunk off your ass and embarass yourself, sometimes, the day after is least fun.

kirby liked these parties a lot, there was a ton of people there, suprisingly gord vendome was always there, “you poor people parties are just so.. genuine!”, is what hes probably say. Kirby didnt really care about gord, he thought the preps were annoying, hot but annoying-he liked the muscles on the dudes, pinkys cool to, he supposes.

wait no he doesnt like the muscles on the dudes—

he looked around the party, looking at who all was there, he came with his friends; of course he did. Bo, mandy, damon and ted. But ted and mandy were off somewhere probably making out, damon was nowhere to be seen and bo split up the minute they got there, leaving kirby standing awkwardly with a drink in his hands, which he didnt mind— that doesnt matter though, get back on track.

kirby tapped his foot and looked around, he saw johnny vincent, vance
medici, peanut romano and, a few other greasers whos mames he couldnt recall, he didnt know many of them, he also saw lola making out with someone who was certainly not johnny, kirby thinks johnny needs to stand up and dump her, but hes not gonna tell that to johnny, not to his face at least.

he saw jimmy hopkins, who looked like he didnt wanna be there, his hand was clasped in gords, thats not THAT suprising really, gord basically jumped on the dude the minute he became their “leader”, derby was probably pissed about that.

he saw some girls to, one waved and giggled, he waved back and smiled.

anyways.

he saw some other guys , davis, ethan, tom, and troy. He got along with them pretty well— wait. Those are trents buddies arent they? Without realizing it he was searching around the party, searching for trent, he didnt doubt trent was there but he was hoping he wasnt making out with some girl—

wait why does it matter? kirby shouldnt care about that-

and almost as if hed sensed someone thinking of him-

“hey kirby.” it was trent, sliding in beside him, drink in hand “do you like yoyos?” without waiting for a response he scooted closer “did you know that yoyos were made in 500 BC, hell maybe even before. The first ever like uh- proof of one was in greece, they found a painted vase with a dude playing with one.”

huh, kirby didnt know that- but kirby also doesnt really know much about yoyos.

“oh yeah?” his voice came out a lot higher then he wanted it to.
trent didnt seem to notice.

“yeah.” they stood there for a second “did you come with anyone?”
kirbys heart did a backflip- he could just be asking because hes curious or because he wants to know if hes single, kirby wasnt sure why that excited him.

“duh uh— no just the guys.” kirby fumbled with the hem of his shirt, he was probably red.

“cool.” there was a pause. “wanna play shirts and skins?” kirby couldve melted,
“uh- guh- uhm.” he ended up nodding, a little to eagerly, but trent just grinned, pulling him by the wrist to a guest room.

kirby wasnt sure how he ended up making out with trent northwick, but it happened.

Notes:

one like and ill attempt
the makeout scene

Notes:

i havent written in like 3 …years srry