Chapter Text
John
Hey, it's John from Plenty of Fish. Really chuffed you gave me your number. I've been having a great time chatting with you. I was only going to renew my membership to stay in touch. So this is great. Not sure if you were teasing, but you said you wanted to see me in my army uniform. So I guess... Here, have a picture? How long can texts be? Is this too long? This is probably too long. But I don't want you to think I'm only sending you a picture of myself like half the creeps on that website.
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Sherlock
Too long? Is there such a thing?
Sherlock
Afghanistan or Iraq?
John
Well yeah. I think so, anyway. But texting as it is now happened while I was abroad (Afghanistan). Before I left, it was all ttyl after punching the keys a million times.
Sherlock
In that case, AWTTW- probably best to not admit your old age at the beginning. HTH
Are you still that tan?
John
Old? The truth comes out then. You like older men; I mean, you must if you're still talking with me. Right? :,-) To answer your question, no, not as tan. Hard to maintain London weather.
Sherlock
Shame.
Anything else succumb to the pressure of London?
John
Really…just going to skip over the 'likes older men' comment then. Must be true. What are you fishing at? Asking if I've had enough bubble and squeak to make my trousers tight?
Sherlock
Hopefully it's not just bubble and squeak that makes them tight.
John
If I respond to your second innuendo, will I be labelled an internet creep? Is this some sort of test to see if I asked for your number just to send your pictures of my dick?
Sherlock
I don’t test people, John.
Sherlock
Some people might claim that it is far too early for me to ask for your cock.
John
No. It's not just bubble and squeak that makes them tight.
John
Was that alright?
Sherlock
Why wouldn’t it be?
John
Erm. Internet creep? Once you've got that label there's no getting rid of it.
Sherlock
Fair enough.
Sherlock
Then, yes, it was quite alright. Internet creep is not a label I would espouse to you.
Sherlock
Yet.