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Jimin looks out at the blue winter sea as the train shudders by, a contemplative melancholy sitting on his chest despite the weight now off his shoulders.
‘Is it melancholy?’ He wonders. ‘Or is it just what it feels like to simply…exist, for a moment?’ When the weight of a billion expectations isn’t baring down on you, he supposes, lightness can feel like hollowness. Right now, they’re just Jimin and Jeongguk, and perhaps this is the first time in a long while that they’ve been able to just exist as they are. It almost makes him want to cry.
Jeongguk jolts slightly, fighting off the sleep making his head droop, weighed down by the heaviness of his tired lids. Wordlessly the younger leans closer, resting his head on Jimin’s shoulder as piano renditions of their favourite songs hum gentle lullabies through their shared earphones.
Jimin stares out of the window, watching the vast world go by in the ebb and flow of the waves as the train passes. It feels oddly reflective, and nostalgic, everything singing of home – the sea reminds him of Busan, Japan of whispered confessions and first kisses, but the most calming song of home is the weight of Jeongguk’s head on his shoulder, and their intertwined fingers in the non-existent space between them.
There is an unspoken feeling in the air, but not the unbearable kind – it’s the kind that comes with accepting time limits and inevitabilities, in knowing all you can do is steal these moments of meaningful quiet and simply make the most of them. Jimin smiles and gazes softly at Jeongguk’s sleeping face, the slight press of his lips, the tangle of his freshly cut bangs in long lashes, the scrunch of his nose as he finally takes a moment for himself to just dream.
With his free hand, Jimin reaches over to adjust Jeongguk’s hood and brushes a few stray strands away from his face.
Jeongguk blinks open his eyes and looks up at him with a sleepy grin, he presses a quick kiss to the hand on his cheek and nuzzles back against Jimin’s shoulder. “How much longer?”
Jimin gently pokes his nose, making Jeongguk huff happily. “Long enough, go back to sleep.”
An hour passes before they’re pulling into the station, the train screeching to a slow halt on the frostbitten tracks. The doors open and a cold breeze blows through the train car, Jimin pulls his coat tighter around his torso.
[Stroll]
Jeongguk bites back a yawn as the couple untangle and grab their bags, the lure of sleep easing its grasp as they head out into the brisk air. Snow falls in flurries, the delicate flakes clinging to their cheeks and lashes.
Most of their luggage has already arrived at their airbnb, so they take their time walking there. A thin layer of snow blankets the ground, the soft crunch underfoot being the only sound as they wander through winding streets, close but not too close, their hands brushing with every step, fingers reaching out, yearning to reclaim the space between them. Their pinkies lock, and the lovers smile beside themselves, knowing there’s no point in trying.
They snap pictures along the way, and Jimin’s heart warms his chest when he lifts the camera to take a photo of Jeongguk; his beaming grin, the rosy pink of his cold-bitten nose and cheeks, the scrunch of his eyes when he looks at Jimin with so much love. He wonders if people will be able to see it, the adoring fondness that pours from Jeongguk’s entire being when he looks at Jimin – the blonde quickly realises, he hopes they do. He wants them to know, even if it can't be said outright.
Jeongguk hurries him and takes the camera, eager to get his own photo of Jimin. He’s always been the better one with photos, Jimin is always thankful for it. The younger lifts the camera to his eye.
“Look back over your shoulder,” he gently instructs, and Jimin follows, knowing he can’t hide the adoration on his face as he watches Jeongguk in his purest form, “pretty.” Jeongguk mutters with a small smile, clicking a single photo.
-
It isn’t long before they’re at the front door, kicking off the powdery snow on their boots and shuffling inside. The owner had clearly put the heating on before their arrival, the hard wood floors warming them from the toes of their damp socks, all the way to the tops of their heads. Jeongguk shrugs off his coat and hangs it next to Jimin’s.
“S’cold,” Jimin huffs, his body taking a little longer to warm up.
Jeongguk takes off Jimin’s hat and wraps his arms around the older, giggling when Jimin melts against him, his face buried into Jeongguk’s neck. Jeongguk slowly spins them further into the house, almost knocking over their luggage every time Jimin laughs and sends them off balance. He catapults them towards the bed, and Jimin yelps as they land with a thud.
“NO OUTSIDE CLOTHES ON THE BED!” He chortles as Jeongguk rolls them over, draping his body over Jimin, the hood of his sweater barely still on his head as he nuzzles in and blows raspberries on Jimin’s neck. The younger rolls back off and Jimin climbs on top of him, sighing happily against Jeongguk’s neck when two hands find his waist; Jeongguk’s long fingers dipping under the hem of his sweater and tracing circles on his lower back.
“I thought you said no outside clothes on the-.”
“Shhhhhh.” Jimin cut him off, putting a hand over Jeongguk’s mouth. “Too comfy- eugh!” He whipped his hand away and wiped it on Jeongguk’s hoodie, palm wet from his tongue. The pair devolved into tired giggling, and Jeongguk’s hands roamed further up Jimin’s back before caressing down his spine and settling on the swell of his ass. Jimin snorts.
“Did you know,” Jeongguk starts, “they say the quickest way to warm up when cold, is to get naked and share direct body heat?”
“Is that so?” Jimin mumbles, amused.
“Pretty sure I saw it in a documentary.” Jeongguk shrugs nonchalantly.
“Are you saying we should get naked, Mr. Jeon?”
“I’m not saying we shouldn’t.”
Jimin hears the smile in Jeongguk’s voice and laughs, he smacks playfully at Jeongguk’s chest. The blonde leans back to meet Jeongguk’s gaze, only to find his boyfriend struggling to keep them open. “We should get ready for bed.” Jimin coos, brushing the bangs away from Jeongguk’s forehead.
“But,” Jeongguk responds with a sleepy drawl, “David Attenborough says so.”
Jimin leans in and catches Jeongguk’s lips in a languid kiss. “We should get our pyjamas on; we can shower in the morning.” Just as he moves away to stand, Jeongguk whines.
“Nooo, wait,” he complains, pulling Jimin back down on top of him. Jeongguk slips a hand behind Jimin’s neck, the other settling back on his waist, and kisses him more thoroughly. He tentatively licks at the seam of Jimin’s lips and huffs out a slow breath when their tongues briefly meet. Jeongguk, resisting the urge to take it any further, breaks the kiss and peppers chaste ones all over Jimin’s face. “Okay, now we can change.”
The pair undress hurriedly, the cold nipping at their bare skin with every passing second, until they’re head-to-toe in matching pyjamas. Jimin looks so soft in his, his hat-hair and rosy cheeks making Jeongguk want to hold him close and never let go. Jimin tucks his hands into the too-long sleeves.
“Fuck, ‘m cold.”
Jeongguk carefully squishes Jimin’s face in his hands, and gently blows on his nose to warm it up. “Told you we should have gotten naked.”
“Yoh insubberable,” Jimin mumbles, Jeongguk snorts and cups Jimin’s cheeks far more gently, “I love you.” Jimin adds, his eyes curving into delicate-but-sleepy crescents. Jeongguk blinks owlishly, and a small smile pulls at his lips.
“I love you too,” the younger leans in, capturing Jimin’s lips in a tender kiss. The pair waddle over to the bed, still wrapped in each other as they kiss and fall onto it. They kiss slowly, sleepily, whispering sweet words and carding their fingers through each other’s hair as their limbs start to tangle, a leg sliding between thighs, hips pressing against hips. Jeongguk flops dramatically and huffs, his weight pinning Jimin down. “’M too tired for horny.”
Jimin chuckles and scratches lightly at the back of Jeongguk’s head. He wraps his leg around his hip and presses his face into Jeongguk’s hair, encouraging the younger to simply hold him. “Then sleep, baby, we’ve got plenty of time for everything else.” Before he can really finish, Jeongguk’s breaths have evened out, his lips slightly parted with gentle snores, and Jimin relishes in the moment, in the peacefulness that washes over them.
They won’t have a lot of these moments for a while, soon they’ll be merely feet apart yet unable to close the space – so Jimin whispers promises into Jeongguk’s hair; promises to hold him close, promises to love him, and make every moment until then, just for them.