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“That’s why you’ll die.”
Itadori could only watch in horror as his friend, Yoshino Junpei, was transformed before his eyes. He stared, he couldn’t move. Mahito’s grip on him released and he fell to the floor, not even caring if he landed on his feet or not. He watched as Junpei rushed for him.
“Junpei…”
They were fighting. Somewhere in his mind, it registered that this was a fight, he was being attacked, but all he could focus on was this was his friend before him. This was a person. He was right there in front of him.
“To sum it up, these guys died of shock from having their bodies modified,” Ieiri’s voice rang through his head.
This couldn’t be it. This can’t be it. He was supposed to come with me. He was supposed to be a sorcerer. I was supposed to show him that there is good in the world, there is meaning in this life. This can’t be it.
“Sukuna!” Itadori yelled. “Sukuna!”
“What?” the cocky voice of Sukuna filled his ears.
This can’t be it. This can’t be it.
“I’ll do anything! You can do anything you want with me!” Itadori pleaded. He was holding Junpei back, not caring for any of the blows that landed on him. All that mattered was getting him back. “Heal Junpei like you did when you restored my heart!”
This can’t be it. This can’t be it.
“I refuse!”
Everything stopped.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
“Now, your friend,” Sukuna’s voice dripped with malice. “Next, Fushiguro Megumi.”
Itadori swallowed. He could feel the anger rising in him. Not Megumi. “No,” he said. “Not him.”
Sukuna laughed, “And what could you do to stop me?” His voice was taunting, he could still hear the laughter in his head. “You’re so weak, brat. You couldn’t save your friend. You would have died in the detention center if it wasn’t for me. You can’t do anything to save him.”
Everything around him shifted, and Itadori was face to face with an image of Fushiguro. His eyes were sunken, he was lying down, surrounded by darkness.
“Megumi…”
“Not now… I’ve had enough”
Itadori swallowed. This isn’t real. This isn’t real. This isn’t real.
“I’m going to take everything you love and make you watch as it all burns. It will burn and it will be by my hand,” Sukuna declared. “Know this, Itadori Yuji: I will make sure that you suffer.”
Itadori tried to reach out, but the further his hand stretched, the further the distance in between them grew.
“And for what I have planned for Fushiguro Megumi,” Sukuna taunted, “will surely break you.”
He watched as the darkness enveloped Fushiguro, trying his best to reach him, running, sprinting, screaming. Fushiguro laid on the ground, unwilling to move or fight back.
Come on. Please, Megumi. Get up. For me.
“You will be hopeless,” Sukuna said, “too weak to stop it.”
Itadori woke with a start.
Sweat was dripping down his forehead and he was hot all over. His heart was racing and pounding loudly in his ears. Images of Junpei’s death plagued his mind, and the echoing laugh of Sukuna rang in his head. He tried to steady his breathing, but it felt like trying to breathe in water. Every breath felt short, the lack of air causing him to panic. Itadori swallowed. Breathe.
Everything else in the world faded away. The laughter wouldn’t stop. His mind wouldn’t stop. Everything was overwhelming him, surrounding him, consuming him. It felt as though there was a hand around his throat, constricting him. He didn’t even realize he was crying until he felt a teardrop fall on his hand.
“Go to Fushiguro Megumi,” Sukuna’s voice rang in his head. “Go on. See him. Bring me to him.”
The mention of Fushiguro worsened Itadori. He had to protect him. He couldn’t let whatever Sukuna had planned for him happen. Whatever he wanted to do involving him, it couldn’t be good. His pulse quickened and his breaths became more erratic and desperate. Everything felt like it was closing in on him. He had to get out. He had to get out. He had to get out.
Throwing the blankets off of himself, Itadori stood and raced to the bathroom. He just barely reached the toilet before he threw himself onto the floor, bile rising from his stomach and burning through his throat as he threw up into the bowl, eyes watering.
He coughed. It felt like he was choking.
A sob escaped his lips as he collapsed against the bowl, still shaking and crying.
It was another hard night.
Itadori hadn’t experienced a night like this in a while, the last time being when Fushiguro first found him sitting outside all alone. That one summer night.
But this was different.
This was the first nightmare that involved him.
Sukuna was planning something and Itadori didn’t know how or when it would happen. All he knew was that he had to do whatever he could to protect Fushiguro. Even if it meant leaving. Even if it cost him his life.
Coming down from his attack, his breathing slowed. Itadori’s entire body was trembling and his throat ached. All he could hear was laughter. He took a few more shaking breaths, each one longer than the last. Itadori reached up and flushed the toilet, closing his eyes and calming himself.
Slowly, he stood. His balance was wobbly and he had to grip the counter for stability. Rinsing his face and brushing his teeth, he continued to lean against the wall, eyes closed. When he looked into the mirror, all he could see was that evil smile, the King of Curses, staring back at him.
Itadori stumbled back, hitting the wall hard and slowly falling to the floor. His pulse was quickening again, he could feel his breaths become shorter and shorter. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he could hear movement, he could hear footsteps, but nothing else mattered. Everything was narrowing down to him in the bathroom, slumped on the floor and body trembling with fear and anxiety.
“—ji?”
His lungs felt empty. He gasped, but no air reached him. His vision was darkening. All he could think about was all the ways Sukuna could hurt or kill Fushiguro.
“Yuji.”
Megumi sliced by his technique. Megumi’s body beaten, bloody, bruised, slumped against a wall. Megumi as he cried out for him, a look of terror on his face, before Sukuna destroyed him, not even leaving a body behind. A mangled cry escaped from his lips.
“Yuji!”
Firm hands grabbed his shoulders and Itadori’s head shot up. He was met with two green eyes staring back at him, filled with concern. Fushiguro was there, he was grounding him. Itadori’s body shook, throat raw from the cries and the bile.
Fushiguro’s eyes race from left to right as they searched Itadori’s. He looked him over, mouth slightly parted and eyebrows furrowed. A gentle hand came up to Itadori’s cheek and another sob escaped from his mouth.
“Shh, shh,” Fushiguro whispered gently. “I’m here. What’s wrong?”
“Meg—,” Itadori choked on the word, reaching out and pulling Fushiguro into a hug. His grip on his shirt tightened and he burrowed his face into the crook of his neck. He was crying again, broken sobs being muffled by the shirt of the older teen. Fushiguro continued to shush him, rubbing circles into his back with one hand and using the other to hold the back of his head.
“What happened?”
Itadori just shook his head.
“That’s okay,” Fushiguro said, lightly stroking his hair. “I’m here. I’m here with you.”
They sat there for a while, Itadori sobbing into Fushiguro’s shoulder and Fushiguro whispering small comforts into his ear. Itadori could feel everything slow down as he took in the scent of his boyfriend—his heart stopped pounding, his breathing steadied. When they finally pulled apart, Fushiguro didn’t say anything as he slowly stood and extended a hand out. Itadori took it and allowed himself to be led back to his room, shuffling quietly as they made their way to the bed.
Fushiguro wordlessly got in and held his arms out and waited as Itadori crawled next to him, allowing himself to settle into him. He gave him a light squeeze and pressed a gentle kiss into his hair. Itadori’s head laid on his chest and he stared at the wall. Though in the dark, he was mostly just staring at nothing.
After several minutes of silence, Fushiguro spoke up, “Do you want to talk about it?” He continued to rub his back lightly.
Itadori swallowed and thought for a moment. He didn’t want to tell him anything about what Sukuna said. He didn’t want to tell him that Sukuna was planning something to hurt him. He just wanted to get away. I have to protect you.
“I don’t think we should be together,” Itadori said softly.
Fushiguro’s hands stopped, and despite no other indication that his words were heard, Itadori could hear his heart racing.
“What?”
Itadori took a shaking breath. “I… I need to protect you,” he said, slowly turning his head to look him in the eye. Bad move. Fushiguro stared back at him, eyebrows furrowed and a scowl resting on his face. “Sukuna is…” Itadori trailed off for a moment, “I’m dangerous.”
“The hell you are,” Fushiguro spat. “Where the fuck is this coming from?”
“No… nowhere,” Itadori faltered, gaze shifting to the side.
“Stop lying.”
“I’m not, I—”
“Yuji,” Fushiguro said. It was more of a demand than a call.
Itadori looked back up and noticed the glistening of tears over his eyes.
“You’re not doing this,” Fushiguro spoke with a low, dangerous voice. “You’re not pushing me away. Not without a good fucking reason.”
“Sukuna is the reason!” Itadori exclaimed. “I can’t… he’s… I don’t want to hurt you!”
“You’re hurting me right now, Yuji.”
“But you’re alive,” he cried. Fushiguro huffed a small exhale. “You’re here, you’re with me, you’re alive. I can’t… I won’t lose you. Not like Junpei.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“But you need to get away from me,” Itadori said, sitting up.
“Did you not just hear what I said? I’m not going anywhere,” Fushiguro was sitting up too now.
“Ever since I swallowed that finger, bad things have been happening. Yasohachi bridge, Mahito, that volcano curse that Gojo-sensei fought, that tree curse that we fought, the one that nearly killed you. All of it. All of it is my fault! I cannot let you get hurt, I will not let Sukuna touch you,” Itadori’s voice was rising as he listed off the recent events, the disasters that took place.
“Then protect me, Yuji!” Fushiguro threw his hands up in frustration. “But do it by my side, you are not going to push me away because you think that disappearing or dying will solve the world’s problems.”
“I don’t think that it will solve the world’s problems, but I know that less people would be hurt or killed if I died,” Itadori argued.
Fushiguro scoffed, looking to the side, “That is so selfish of you.”
“Selfish?” Itadori repeated. “How the hell is that selfish?”
“You’re only thinking about your feelings, how you feel about your death,” Fushiguro said. “I’ve already mourned you once, like hell I’m doing that again.”
“But as long as I’m around, you’re going to be hurt!” This argument was going nowhere. “People will die, you will die.”
“Everybody dies, Yuji, that’s how life is. We can’t save everyone, we’re not heroes.”
“You keep saying that, but my death would save people,” Itadori defended. “That’s why the higher ups want to kill me so badly.”
“The higher ups want to kill you because they have a backwards, outdated, conservative view on life,” Fushiguro spat.
Itadori scoffed, “But they’re right. My death means the end of Sukuna.”
“You don’t even have all of his fingers yet, how can you already be planning your funeral? How is this fair to me or Kugisaki?”
“It’s not fair, Megumi, but life isn’t fair! I am a ticking bomb, I was foolish to think that you could be safe with me. I was so selfish to try and live a normal life, have a normal relationship with you!” All Itadori could think about were Sukuna’s words. “I don’t want to be the one to kill you.”
Fushiguro swallowed, staring him in the eye. “Then tell me to my face that you don’t want to be with me.”
Itadori faltered, eyes flicking down.
“Yuji,” he said. “Tell me. Right now. Tell me this is over.”
Itadori swallowed, still looking at the blanket below him.
“Look at me now and tell me,” Fushiguro’s voice was shaky, cracking a little at the last word.
The two of them sat in silence, Itadori unable to meet the gaze of the other boy.
“Yuji,” his voice was softer this time. A hand reached out and lightly held Itadori’s chin, gently bringing his gaze up. “Please, tell me what happened.”
Itadori stared into Fushiguro’s eyes. Two bright, soft, comforting green eyes. Eyes that he could get lost in forever. He swallowed and choked out a sob. “It’s Sukuna,” he started. “I don’t know what he wants with you, but he… I had this nightmare and you were… he was…”
He couldn’t get the sentence out, the words stayed stuck in his throat.
”I’m here, I’m okay,” Fushiguro whispered, pulling him to his chest and holding him close. “I’m safe. We’re safe.”
”You’re never really safe around me,” Itadori said, voice cracking.
“Yuji,” Fushiguro once again brought a hand to his face and guided his gaze to meet his, “I need you.”
Itadori took a shaking breath, tears falling down his face again as they stared back at each other. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispered.
“You could never hurt me,” Fushiguro whispered back. His hand snaked to the back of Itadori’s head as he pulled him back into a hug. It was softer and Itadori allowed the two of them to fall back into the bed. “Please, Yuji, you know this isn’t the answer.”
“I don’t know what is, though,” Itadori admitted.
Fushiguro rubbed circles into the base of his neck. “That’s okay, we can figure it out. Together.” They laid there, tangled with each other. “But you need to tell me what happened.”
Itadori took a shaking breath, “I had a nightmare. It was Junpei, I was reliving his death. But then suddenly everything changed and Sukuna told me that he had something planned for you.” Next, Fushiguro Megumi. “He said that whatever it was, it will break me,” Itadori cried into his chest, shoulders shaking and breaths uneven.
“I’m sorry,” Fushiguro said as he let the words sink in. Sukuna had something planned for him and whatever he showed Itadori, it was enough to make him think that isolation or death was the answer.
It pissed him off. “Sukuna can try all he wants, but he won’t win. Gojo-sensi will help and you’ll protect me.”
“What if I can’t?” Itadori raised his head to look into his eyes.
“You will,” he reassured. “We will protect each other.”
Itadori laid his head back onto Fushiguro’s chest. “I just want us to live normal, happy lives. No curses, no fighting, no death. I’m so scared all the time, I’m so worried that one day you’re not going to come home from a mission or Sukuna will take over and I won’t be able to control him. What do I do? How do I stop these thoughts from consuming me?”
Fushiguro placed another kiss into his hair. “You need to talk about them. You can’t let them fester in your mind, it’s not good for you.”
“And who do I talk to about this? Gojo-sensei?”
“That’s one option,” Fushiguro chuckled. “That idiot can be pretty wise when he wants to be.”
Itadori huffed, his own version of a laugh in the moment escaping his mouth.
“You could talk to me too.”
“I don’t want to burden you,” Itadori mumbled.
Fushiguro placed a hand on his cheek, once again guiding him to meet his eyes. “You could never burden me. I love you.”
Itadori swallowed and despite the events of the evening, he could feel his heart swell. He cared for Fushiguro. So much. “I love you too.”
Fushiguro shifted and slowly pulled him in for a kiss. His hand was still on his cheek, caressing him with his thumb. The kiss was soft, light, and slow. Itadori could feel all of the negative energy, all of his negative thoughts being sucked away. He sighed and his grip tightened. Fushiguro gently pulled him in further, deepening the kiss, as if to say “I’m really, truly here. I’m never going anywhere.”
As they kissed, Itadori allowed his mouth to part and Fushiguro responded immediately. They laid together, holding each other as they kissed with more intensity, more intimacy. Itadori could feel everything that was cold become warm. The warmth spread from his chest and throughout his entire body, engulfing him and silencing his mind. He brought a hand up to rest against Fushiguro’s neck, fingers tangled in the strands of his hair. Fushiguro responded by pulling him impossibly closer.
After what felt like hours and seconds all the same, he slowed the kiss, leaving one more quick peck on Itadori’s lips before pulling away. He only pulled back far enough to rest their foreheads together, fingers playing with the small strands of Itadori’s undercut.
“We will figure this out,” Fushiguro promised. He stared into his eyes, captivated by the way the moonlight swirled in the warm sea of brown. “Together.”
Itadori nodded gently, looking back into that beautiful forest green that he loved so much. “Together.”
“I know how you worry,” Fushiguro said. “I know what you’re feeling. But I also know that you don’t actually want to push yourself away. You just think that you have to in order for me to be safe.”
He didn’t say anything. Fushiguro was right.
“But even if I was ‘safer’—” he made little quotes with his hand before returning it to the nape of Itadori’s neck. “—I wouldn’t be happy. I would be miserable. I love you, Yuji, I need you. I need to know that you’re okay and that you’re here, you’re alive. I need you with me.”
Itadori swallowed, staring back at him as Fushiguro laid everything out in front of him. “Okay,” Itadori’s voice was barely a whisper.
And the truth was that he needed Fushiguro just as much. He knew that he would drive himself crazy, being away from him and not knowing if he was okay. He already did that when Fushiguro went on missions without him. How could he really, logistically stand to be away from him for good?
“Sukuna can go fuck himself,” Fushiguro said, breaking him from his reverie. “We will defeat him, we will kill him. And you will still be here for me to say ‘I told you so.’”
Itadori gave a small chuckle. “You always have to be right.”
“I don’t have to be, I am,” he said, placing a small kiss on the tip of his nose before settling their foreheads together again.
“I’m sorry,” Itadori whispered, looking into his eyes. “I love you.”
“Idiot,” Fushiguro said, “I know.”
They laid together, foreheads pressed and bodies tangled. Fushiguro continued to play with Itadori’s hair, using his other hand to gently rub up and down his back. It wasn’t until Itadori finally fell asleep, breathing light and even, that Fushiguro finally allowed himself to sleep too.
He placed another gentle kiss into Itadori’s forehead, lingering for just a moment. “I love you.”