Chapter Text
Lightstick – check.
Ticket – check.
Picket – check.
Beomgyu adjusts the metal angel wings adorning his choker, fiddling with both wings till they click together to form a heart. A surge of pride bubbles in his veins as he takes in how well the metalwork turned out.
Guess his new hyperfixation on metalwork paid off.
Twirling around and taking in how the combination of his cropped top and baggy jeans with a half-plaid skirt looked, he winks cheesily at his reflection, shooting finger guns and flicking his hair.
Concert fit – check.
You see, Beomgyu is a man of fleeting interests which he hyperfixates on. To be fair, leading a dreary life of being locked in the office for nine hours a day, five days a week, he had to find some sort of hobby. For a few months, he’d dabbled in nail art, then moved to knitting, and most recently, he’d taken an interest in metalwork.
It was him and his little hobby kit against the world, and a month before this big day, he’d begun putting in real work to make several renditions of a pair of metal angel wings to be attached to a choker, a silver half attached to a purple counterpart that separated as wings and clicked together to form a heart.
It’s cheesy, but as with everything Beomgyu does, there’s a story behind it.
While Beomgyu’s someone with fleeting interests, there has been one constant love in his life – someone whose music he accidentally discovered at the lowest point in his life five years ago, whose lyrics carved their way into his heart and soul and helped him get through each day.
Some singer named Jung Kai.
Yes, Beomgyu’s a loyal fanboy, and yes, everything he does in life, is somehow related to this charming singer-songwriter he’s crazy over.
So the choker was one part since Kai’s logo and signature symbol was a single wing – one wing represents Kai and the other represents Beomgyu haha romantic right? Haha. And well, his elaborate nail art, a set of self-designed and painted acrylics, was also inspired by Kai’s latest album and concert poster. And yes, he also has on a scarf he had knitted – violet, aka Kai’s favorite color.
It's all coming full circle.
Consistency has never been Beomgyu’s favorite, but somehow, he’d consistently idolized the singer-songwriter since he accidentally chanced upon his debut song on the radio while wallowing, days out of surgery following a career-ending injury.
His memory of the injury itself remains murky, only growing more distant as more time passes coldly. All he remembers was skidding on ice freely, the adrenaline in his veins dulling the chronic burn in his ankles and the soreness in his thighs as he parted his legs, getting ready to crouch lower.
The rest remains a blur – the collective gasps and screams from the audience set in first before he realized his ankle had given way with a sickening crunch.
One bad fall was all it took, the ice numbing most of the pain till a sharp, unmistakable pang shot right up his spine.
The days that followed were dark and full of desolation after he was informed that his ankle and back injuries were bad enough to force him into retirement from competitive figure skating.
Nothing and no one could pull Beomgyu out of his spiral as he lay in his ward post-surgery, refusing to see anyone – not his parents, not his coach or his fellow skaters, and definitely not Soobin, his best friend and fellow skater who looked at him with almost detestable pity.
As hazy as those memories had become in his attempt to move on, Beomgyu still remembers how Kai’s music had quite literally saved him.
Back then, while the singer-songwriter had just released his debut mini-album, Beomgyu lay on the hospital bed, registering nothing but numbness in his mind and body as his parents pleaded for him to at least say a word.
There was desperation in their voices, but Beomgyu’s hopelessness rendered him useless to the world.
Left in the cold silence after visiting hours were over, he finally made a move to grab the MP3 player his mom had brought for him when the silence got too suffocating.
The songs on the random radio channel he'd tuned in to droned on, and somehow, he'd snapped into focus when crisp vocals rang through his earbuds, followed by an upbeat melody.
I promise you, no matter what, I will always be right beside you
Hope – Beomgyu’s certain that was what began to surge through his veins as the music flowed through his soul.
And when he processed the lyrics that followed in the first verse, each word reverberated in his skull, the pressure in his chest growing stronger till he felt it constrict tightly enough to send the first wave of tears breaking through his lashline.
No matter what's happened in the past, I'll always have faith in you
I want you to share with me the pain you've been holding inside, and show me your true smile
Crumbling slowly, the numbness began to ebb away, replaced by a burst of despair as he finally felt. It was almost comical, the way he started bawling as such an upbeat song blared in his ears.
Years later, he'd grown from that, but one thing remained – Kai's music.
His music was the burst of energy Beomgyu needed as he braved the morning rush hour, squeezing into trains and dozing off as soon as he managed to clutch onto a grab handle.
His little album commentaries and Weverse lives filled the background as Beomgyu pored over presentation slides and excel sheets, his soothing voice droning out into comfortable white noise through Beomgyu’s earbuds.
And most of all, his acoustic tracks lulled Beomgyu to sleep at night after he crawled under the sheets, snuggled up and cozy as the day’s fatigue started to set in.
Somehow, Kai’s music had helped Beomgyu grapple with his role as a little cog in a machine, a far cry from the national figure skater dream he’d hung on to for a good eight years.
But somehow, despite that, Beomgyu’s certain that he’s at a place in life where he finds enough joy in indulging in his hobbies and fanboying when he’s not slaving after a paycheck. More importantly, he’s learned to power through the rat race with occasional short trips within the country and beyond, weekly gaming sessions, and when he’s lucky, exciting events.
Exciting events like Jung Kai’s first concert.
The singer had held another few showcases but being genuinely dedicated only to his craft, Kai always focused on producing music and performing for smaller crowds.
Beomgyu wasn’t there for every show, but each time he did manage to snag a ticket, he was repeatedly mesmerized, immersing himself in Kai’s beautiful vocals as he gazed dreamily from afar.
This time though, it’s slightly different, with his friend having gotten him barricade tickets for the concert. Technically, Soobin had told him that he’d reconnected with an old friend who was somehow affiliated with Kai’s team.
And somehow, he’d ended up swapping Beomgyu’s regular ticket for a new ticket.
He was half convinced it was some sort of awful prank when Soobin handed him a ticket that clearly said QUEUE NO. 0000. Like, that just couldn’t be real. Beomgyu hasn’t attended many concerts in his life, but even he knows QUEUE NO. 0 can’t be a real thing.
Soobin had sworn on his life that it was real and somehow, he’d managed to make it through with this dubious ticket, led quickly right to the front of the queue by a staff member whose stare lingered too long for comfort.
Beomgyu has no idea how close Soobin is to this long-lost friend, and better yet, how they’d ‘reconnected’ and why he’d go all the way to give a friend’s friend such a precious ticket.
It’s too good to be true, but Beomgyu is happy to take the opportunity in exchange for keeping his comments about Soobin’s intriguing love life to himself.
But the reality of it all only really sets in when Beomgyu’s planted right in front of the stage, body pressed against the barricade as he gawks at the stage.
He’s close, frighteningly so, and he believes if Kai just so as sat down on the stage, they could literally reach out and intertwine their fucking hands.
Not that Beomgyu actually imagined doing that. Yep, definitely not.
The concert has yet to begin and even the series of Kai’s various music videos being blown up on the screens has yet to distract Beomgyu, not when he feels slightly self-conscious.
Was Jung Kai going to see his face? That’s actually an unfathomable thought.
Turning slightly to see the concert hall filled up with throngs of fans, singing their lungs out to Kai’s hits, Beomgyu swallows hard.
bamning believer
holy fuck
I thought this sus ticket was gonna get me kicked out for fraud
I’m like right in front, it’s actually scary
Sent 7.27pm
soobles
You’re OBSESSED with this guy, beomgyu
Do you know the LENGTHS I had to go to just to get these tickets
Like do you know how EMBARRASSING it was for me to talk to this guy I just reconnected with after years and going like
Hey btw I heard you know Kai’s team, my friend’s a fan of him and is going to his fuckass concert, anything u can help with no make sure he has a great experience
And do you know how MIRACULOUS he just whips out this ticket for you
Received 7.28pm
bamning believer
omg i’m getting the soobyapper treatment on text i won in life 😇😇😇
and yes I knowwwww and thank u 🥺🥺🥺
omg but it’s scary
like i’m so close kai’s gonna actually see MY face??? 😭😭😭
Sent 7.29 pm
soobles
Lol jumpscare
Poor guy
Received 7.29pm
He’s about to retort with several middle fingers and angry cursing emojis, but the lights go out abruptly and he nearly drops his phone when he jolts in excitement and surprise.
And after that split second of distraction, he looks back up, breath hitching when he watches the lights come back on to reveal Kai standing in the middle of the stage.
With no obstructions standing between them, Beomgyu realizes Kai’s barely 10 feet away, ethereal and breathtaking as light blue and white hues wash over him, accentuating his defined features and inky dark hair.
None of those photos and videos did this Greek god any justice.
Beomgyu goes lightheaded for a hot second when Kai smiles, dainty fingers wrapping around the mic stand.
Time quite literally stops and Beomgyu can only gawk stupidly when music booms across the concert hall, Kai’s vocals immediately waking up every dazed fiber in his being.
I promise you, no matter what
I will always be right beside you
If it was even possible, Beomgyu’s jaw unhinges even further as he processes the opening song.
It was his song.
The song that saved him five years ago.
Overwhelmed by a flood of emotions and conflicted over whether to start bawling or screaming, adrenaline finally takes control and he ends up gripping his lightstick, bouncing excitedly as he joins the rest of the crowd in their cheers and screams.
Just like that, he lets himself get swept away by the incredible experience, screaming his lungs out and singing along to every song that he held dearly to his heart.
But at some point in time, Kai leaves his mic stand, moving closer to the edge of the stage and all the years of gushing over the singer’s pictures can’t prepare Beomgyu for the moment the man begins to scan the crowd.
They probably all look like tiny ants to Kai, right? Even if Beomgyu’s standing just a few meters away, that doesn’t mean he can actually see him.
The thought gets Beomgyu a little nervous and he swears he isn’t the delusional type of fan, but his heart begins to pick up its pace when Kai looks in his general direction.
It must be some sort of main character moment playing out in his head, because he swears that for a fraction of a second, they lock gazes, Kai's confident smile dropping ever so briefly as he misses part of his line.
Everything fades to white noise and Beomgyu stops bouncing on the balls of his feet.
Only when Kai shakes his head vigorously, lips curling into an embarrassed grin as he picks himself up from stumbling over the lyrics, does Beomgyu snap back to reality.
Despite his rationality screaming at him for being ridiculous, Beomgyu feels the heat rise to his cheeks petulantly.
But with a final roll of the snare Kai winks at the crowd before slinking off the stage and Beomgyu curses the charming singer for his impeccable fanservice.
Fuck parasocial relationships. Beomgyu knows he's better than that.
bamning believer
wake up omg
Sent 8.34pm
soobles
No, Beomgyu, I do not want to know about how you swear Kai winked at you
There were like 50 million ppl
No wattpad moment happened and bamning's not a real thing
I’m so sorry your virgin barricade experience fueled the delulu
Get well soon 🥰
Received 8.36pm
Beomgyu's not usually delusional. He almost never dreams of his idol being his boyfriend or anything. He’s not that kind of fan. But Soobin's exasperated response still makes him huff even as he gets continuously jostled by the rowdy crowd around him.
bamning believer
no im fr this time
i SWEAR he looked at me and then stumbled over his lyrics
Sent 8.37pm
soobles
Hahahahahahahahahahahahha fail
🤣🤣🤣
Received 8.37pm
bamning believer
fuck you
Sent 8.37pm
He would never stand for any Kai-slander.
soobles
🤣🤣🤣
Anyway if in a fraction of a millionth chance, he had been looking at you
He probably hates you now for distracting him by looking all silly
Received 8.38pm
The thought of Kai hating him sends Beomgyu into a frenzy and he starts raging at his best friend, angry thumbs flying all over his screen.
The VCR goes out and Beomgyu puts his phone away hurriedly after rushing another “you will start coughing violently in seven days” message to Soobin.
-
Beomgyu doesn’t like to be presumptuous, and he definitely will never be caught cheesing over a singer’s fanservice. He’s 25 for goodness sake, he’s had plenty of time to understand that having a parasocial relationship with a celebrity is a ridiculous fantasy.
So he tries to convince himself that no, Kai does not spare frequent glances in his direction, and no Kai did not actually lock eyes with him earlier.
And that helps him focus on enjoying his concert experience. Helps him simply scream with excitement when Kai looks at his side of the moshpit and shoots a heart or flashes another one of his beautiful smiles.
The show is much too short and by the time Kai finishes his last encore track – another track about tomorrow being a miracle – Beomgyu’s actually in tears, each lyric leaving Kai’s lips reminding him of how the man’s music had pulled him out of a dark place.
It’s slightly embarrassing and almost comical, the way fat ugly tears are rolling off his cheeks while the bass reverberates loudly in the concert hall. But he smiles brightly still, suddenly overwhelmed with emotion when he realizes how much he’s grown since he lay in his ward five years ago, and how Kai’s music had accompanied him every step of the way.
This time, he swears he isn’t hallucinating when Kai’s gaze sweeps over the entire crowd, lingering a good three seconds in his direction as his smile fades, replaced with stark concern.
Beomgyu’s aware of how he must look now, tears staining his cheeks and continuing to cascade down petulantly.
But ever the professional, Kai seems to catch himself just as quickly, grinning yet again and giving the crowd another flying kiss before he steps away from the stage.
Euphoria and charged emotions ebbing away to be replaced by a light giddiness, Beomgyu smiles to himself.
Perhaps, on a grand scheme of things for a celebrity like Kai, everything he had offered the crowd that night was nothing short of impeccable fanservice. Maybe he wasn’t even able to see Beomgyu’s face properly.
But perhaps, to Beomgyu, it still means the world – a precious moment with a precious person who had unknowingly saved his life.
Clutching his drained lightstick to his chest, he wipes his tears away, grinning despite knowing he must indeed look silly.
-
Looking silly should’ve been the least of Beomgyu’s concerns when he trails after the horde of concert go-ers out of the venue.
Because one moment he’s eavesdropping on a couple of fans discussing Kai’s guitar solo in his special cover segment while silently agreeing with their positive critique of the singer’s live guitar skills, and the next, someone’s stumbling into him and elbowing him hard in the process.
His phone is roughly knocked out of his hand, hitting the ground with a clatter.
You see, Beomgyu isn’t someone whose shine is easily dulled. And after having had a million fan interactions with his favorite singer, he wasn’t going to let anything upset him.
But still, staring into his cracked screen and being met with nothing but his own reflection does make his stomach flip and proceed to sink infinitely when the device refuses to light up or respond again.
His phone died.
Great.
Even greater for a tech-savvy Gen-Z who relied on cashless payments everywhere.
He rummages through his bag, a tinge of hope burning in him. Perhaps, he’d left his wallet or some spare cash lying around somehow?
Alas, that little flame is duly extinguished and he’s left trudging down the exact road he’d come from by bus.
It isn’t so bad, given his giddy mood, and he skips down the pavement, silently thankful he doesn’t live too far away. Perhaps a three-hour walk away?
A nice stroll after a lovely concert.
A gust of chilly wind hits him.
Maybe not. What a day to be wearing a cropped top.
The Soobin in his head snorts and calls him a loser, but the Soobin in his head also can’t magically appear and escort him home, so he sends that mental image away with a powerful punch.
Humming lightly, he folds his arms against his body, bracing himself from another gust of wind as he quickens his footsteps.
But where Beomgyu’s chirpy, he’s equal parts alert, given the late hour, and he begins to make an awful discovery that a vehicle has slowed down unnervingly close to him.
Shaking his odd feelings off, he continues down his way, muscles straining as he tries to speed up anyway. He chances a quick glance behind. No doubt, there’s indeed a black sedan that had come to a halt a few feet away.
Well, that couldn’t mean anything right?
Except, when he strides another few meters or so, he quite clearly registers the engine of the car revving up again before coming to another stop.
One peep to his side.
God. It’s even closer to him now.
Another few steps.
Another rev.
Peering over his shoulder, the black sedan is indeed creeping along in tandem with him.
Panic fills him. Why the heck was such a suspicious vehicle with tinted windows following so closely behind?
And then it comes to a halt again and his blood runs cold when he hears the click of a car lock.
Fuck.
He's sure he's about to get robbed, maybe even murdered. Hell no. He just saved enough money as a deadbeat corporate slave and allowed himself to fall victim to the evilness of capitalism by buying a bunch of albums for a tiny speck of hope for a fancall with Kai.
Hell no is he about to go down before he even knows whether he has a chance to fanboy to Kai about Kai.
Determination in his veins, he doesn't spare a glance behind, inhaling deeply.
Three, two, one.
He bolts.
Straight-up sprints as fast as his legs can carry him. Unfortunately, all the drawn-out hours of having his ass glued to his seat while he pored over reports and excel sheets catch up to him faster than his speed can, and within less than five seconds, he's beginning to pant embarrassingly.
Good try, because blood roars in his ears when he registers another set of footsteps reverberating from close behind him.
Panicking, he has half a mind to swing himself across the road and pray for one passing car to save him.
But he's torn out of his spiraling panic when a sharp voice rings through the quiet night.
“Beomgyu!”
He nearly slows down, brain rushing to process how familiar that voice was.
“Choi Beomgyu!”
Where had he–
“It's me, Kai!”
He freezes.
Was this some sort of realistic in-real-life voice phishing scam?
Alas, if Beomgyu ever got kidnapped, it would definitely be because he got fooled and baited with something related to his idol.
That also means he ends up stopping in his tracks and turning around like a damn fucking idiot.
He sincerely has to be a damn fucking idiot with mush for brain matter because he must be hallucinating the view before him.
Barely five feet away, the subject of his hallucination stands, panting away. Planting his palms on his thighs, the man crouches down and stares at him.
Was Beomgyu so obsessed he was imagining the strange man chasing him down along the freeway as Kai?
But that stature and that typical combination of a thick black coat and plain white shirt paired with black cargo pants – what he knew to be Kai's usual off-work attire screamed Kai.
Was this some sick cosplay hidden camera prank being played on him?
“Beomgyu right? It's really you?”
Damn, he even sounds exactly like Kai.
But the man pulls down his face mask, slipping his cap off and Beomgyu must be hallucinating.
“S-Sorry!” the man rasps out, straightening up abruptly and rushing to tidy his ruffled hair. “I didn't mean to freak you out.”
Beomgyu blinks once, twice.
No way Jung Kai was standing before him, in the flesh.
“The hell?” Beomgyu blurts intelligibly.
Man of eloquence, he is.
But Kai – or his doppelganger, twin, insane cosplayer whatever – merely stares back at him for a moment before chuckling, his eyes disappearing into little crescents.
“Sorry, I realize this must be a surprise.”
Kai takes a careful step forward and Beomgyu has a hard time processing how close he really is to his idol.
“You’re Beomgyu, right? I didn’t recognize you wrongly?”
Thoughts flying rapidly in his small little brain, he can only focus on two alarming facts: One, his idol is standing before him, realistic as hell with all his pretty moles dotting his gorgeous features in actual HD. No heavy editing, no filters, just Kai. Two, his idol knows his name.
“Yes…? It’s… me…?” his reply is stupid, drawn out, but it's pretty much all he can muster when he's essentially staring dazedly at Jung Kai who is barely a few feet away.
“Right I– I don't think you remember me but–”
“I just went to your concert?!” Beomgyu shrieks, the reality of the situation beginning to sink in.
What the hell was happening? Did the freezing cold leave him with hypothermia and render his brain non-functional or what?
Kai laughs again and Beomgyu nearly passes out.
“I meant, you might not remember me from before all this.”
“All what?”
Suddenly bashful, Kai rubs his nape, his amused smile dropping.
“Before I became a singer? In school. We were friends in school,” – Kai falters slightly – “well uhm. Somewhat. We attended the same high school and college. Though I wasn’t really around during most of our college life.”
“Friends?”
He winces immediately after the word falls from his lips.
“Not what I meant, sorry,” he mutters, though Kai doesn't seem surprised, merely shaking his head.
“We talked a few times. Uh– One time to be exact.”
Beomgyu racks his entire brain for a memory of Kai during his school days. Surely he would have remembered such a breathtaking, gorgeous, and talented boy.
“No, we didn’t?” he ends up shooting back, belatedly embarrassed at how defensive he sounds. “I mean, surely I would have remembered.”
All of this was bewildering, but even more puzzling is the way Kai puts both hands up as if he’s apologetic.
“No! Not at all, it’s not your fault. We really only talked briefly. I just remembered you,” he trails off and Beomgyu can only nod, still dazed and confused.
“It's… It's a lot to ask, and it's okay if you're not comfortable but I– I noticed you walking along the road so I…”
Shock beginning to ebb away, Beomgyu flushes, realizing how pathetic he must look.
“I broke my phone which has everything I need to get home so… Yeah.”
Kai seems to contemplate this for a while, his lips scrunched up as they usually did when he was deep in thought and Beomgyu has to remind himself that he definitely doesn’t want to earn himself a restraining order from his idol, to stop himself from going up to smush the other man’s cheeks.
“Do you– Do you want a ride back home? I don’t know where you stay but it’s going to take forever if you’re going to walk back, especially down this road.”
His grimy self in his idol’s car? Preposterous.
But he notices the cars whizzing by, heat rising to his cheeks when the crazy events sink in.
First, his favorite singer had just called out his name, then claimed to have known him back in school, and next, he’d proceeded to offer him a ride back.
Frankly speaking, this all feels unreal and Beomgyu nearly stumbles in dizziness when he registers that he’s been deadass talking to his idol for the past five minutes.
“I– I can’t accept that. What if someone starts a rumor? And seriously, I’m really like– erm I’m all dirty and awful looking after all that jumping during the concert.”
Once the words tumble off his lips, regret sinks in immediately, because when else in his worker bee life would he ever have the chance to be this close to the singer who he idolizes for practically saving his life?
Kai stares at him blankly for a good five seconds before he laughs lightly – a beautiful sight that has Beomgyu momentarily distracted from his interior monologue.
“You think too much, Beomgyu hyung. And I think we’re attracting even more attention by stopping in the middle of the road like this.” He pauses for a moment, ears visibly turning a little red as he averts Beomgyu’s gaze.
“Besides, you’re not dirty or awful-looking. You look uh– really nice, and I– I’m ahaha! I’m glad you had fun at the concert ha! Haha!”
His laughter is abrupt and it takes Beomgyu a few beats to notice the compliment Kai had slipped in before he began filling the air with loud barks of laughter.
Enamored – curse this guy and his occupational disease for making him so excellent at fanservice and smooth words – and slightly daunted by the long, never-ending walk he has ahead of him, Beomgyu ends up nodding dumbly.
“O-Okay. I’m sorry to trouble you then,” he mumbles dazedly, and Kai quite literally lights up, wide grin unabashedly plastered across his face as he jogs toward his black sedan.
Trailing behind unsurely, Beomgyu watches as the singer exchanges some words with the person in the driver’s seat before turning back to beckon him over.
And all Beomgyu can do is follow him to get in the car dutifully, the warmth from the heater instantly coaxing a content sigh out of him.
“Ah you must be cold,” Kai mutters as he reaches somewhere behind.
Before Beomgyu can react, he pushes a heat pack into his icy hands and retreats shyly.
Technically, he’s the one who’d quite literally just pulled some sort of K-drama oppa move on Beomgyu, yet in the next second, he’s also the one looking visibly flustered as he rushes to put on his seatbelt, jazz hands eventually finding their place on his kneecaps.
In the past five years of Beomgyu following most of Kai’s activities, appearances on shows, and interviews, he’s certain that he’s never seen the singer this frantic.
The thought of him being privy to how adorable Kai acts without the cameras around him leaves him immensely endeared and he has to hide a small smile, playing with the heat pack.
And then the nerves begin to set in.
He’s in the car with Kai.
He’s in Kai’s car.
Kai’s sending him home.
What the fuck?
“Where do you stay? Or– Or if you’re uncomfortable, you can just let us know where to drop you off!” His voice comes out a little loud and somewhere from the driver's seat, Beomgyu hears someone snort.
This is promptly followed up with Kai kicking his chair with surprising force.
“S-Sorry, Taehyun just has a weird sense of humor. He’s my manager by the way.”
Beomgyu peers into the rearview mirror, ducking his head politely with a quiet greeting and trying not to think too much about how Taehyun’s staring back at him with unnerving intensity.
But oddly enough, Kai's demeanor puts Beomgyu a little more at ease, knowing that he's not the only one feeling nervous. Probably for vastly different reasons.
Well, he's also a little shy, but Kai doesn't need to know that.
“Ah, it's fine, I don't live that far away by car.”
“Oh. Okay.”
Beomgyu swears this whole experience is feeding a little too much into his delusion and he's definitely hallucinating the dejection lacing Kai's words.
Nodding, he helps to type in his address in their GPS as best as he can without shaking and soon, they're engulfed in silence again.
Beomgyu had never found silence to be this nerve-wracking and as the seconds ticked by, he was frankly stressed about whether this would be it for his interaction with the singer who he views with so much adoration and respect.
But Kai clears his throat, startling him and snapping Beomgyu out of his thoughts.
He takes one look out the window, panic rising when the streets grow familiar.
That's when all his self-control crumbles. And for the love of god, it should really be stronger and stop crumbling so Beomgyu doesn’t make a fool of himself—
“I just want to say that your music saved my life!” The words tumble from his lips rapidly, sending heat right up his ears and cheeks when he realizes how strangely he'd just behaved.
And when he glances to his side, he's even more embarrassed when he finds Kai staring at him with wide eyes.
“Sorry,” he mumbles, suddenly relieved when he notices the familiar neighborhood they're turning into. “Ah! Haha. Great, I'm uh reaching soon. That's me in front ahaha! The blue building!”
Every sound yanked out from his throat is unnatural and grating and he unbuckles his seatbelt hurriedly as soon as the car begins to pull to a halt.
“Thanks for the ride!”
He’s fully prepared to bolt and then run up and scream into his pillow for the next ten minutes but his valiant endeavor is abruptly interrupted by a tug on his hand.
Turning sharply, he nearly passes out from the view and awareness of Kai clutching his hand, his lips parted beautifully in something akin to surprise.
The moment is lost, the tension dissipating instantly when Taehyun clears his throat somewhere in the vehicle.
“Shit sorry!”
Much to his disappointment, Kai lets go of his hand, breaking his fragile heart, and Beomgyu’s left heartbroken and crestfallen but also dizzy that goddammit he just felt Kai’s skin against him, why is he being such a weird freak about this now?
“What do you mean my music saved your life?”
Gobsmacked, Beomgyu’s fully prepared to respond by putting the blaring sirens in his head up on the aux, but Kai cuts in again.
“Never mind. I– I want to know more but it isn’t a good time now right?”
Uhm. Well, Beomgyu has his ass and one leg stuck outside a suspicious-looking black sedan with tinted windows so… probably not a good time.
He stays silent though, simply tongue-tied when he registers the pleading and hesitant gaze he’s being regarded with.
What the hell’s going on? Were they really acquainted and somehow, Beomgyu had just cleanly forgotten about it all?
“I mean,” Kai clears his throat awkwardly when the silence persists, the tips of his ears tinting pink as he averts his gaze to bore holes into his lap instead. “I would like to talk to you again…?”
“Goddammit Kai, just ask him for his fucking number.”
Taehyun’s sudden curt words send Kai sputtering and Beomgyu flushes instantly at the insinuation.
For once, since he got thrown into this fever dream of a night, Beomgyu decides to make a bold decision. Blood roaring in his ears, he reaches out, gesturing at Kai’s phone which had lain forgotten on his lap through the ride.
And the other man looks just as dazed as he unlocks his phone, handing it to him so he can punch his phone number into the dialpad. That’s as far as his calmness gets him and once he’s done, he yells out a hurried goodbye and thank you which sounded eerily like he’d just mashed them up and shouted “good you” in hindsight, before slamming the door shut and bolting up his apartment.
Yelling another fuck all to cleanliness, he dives into his bed, screaming into his pillow.
It's bloodcurdling and he makes sure he channels all his emotions into that one scream so his neighbors are less likely to be able to figure out he's the source of the abrupt screech near midnight.
It has to be a dream. Some sort of fucking fever dream.