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After half an hour sitting there, waiting for his date to come, Doyoung still couldn’t understand why his I.DEAL would choose such an awful place for a first date.
Ok, it may not have been that bad. But it certainly was... different. The kind of place Doyoung wouldn’t choose even if every bar, coffee shop, and restaurant in Seoul were closed.
Unlike other places Doyoung visited with his friends, Pork Fried was a small pub in an unknown zone, with their outside practically destroyed and filled with graffiti. Inside, it was almost empty, only a bartender with an angry face and pink hair behind the counter and three very drunk businessmen close to the door. And, honestly, by the weird smell and the awful music, Doyoung couldn’t imagine how it would get better.
This definitely wasn’t his kind of place. He looked at his machine, wondering if it chose the place because of his partner.
Doyoung wasn’t an expert on going on dates through his I.DEAL, having only two relationships on his repertoire. But from what he understood from Jungwoo, the machine always settled on places where they might feel comfortable, places where they at least could start a conversation. He went through the bar with his sight for a second time. Should he draw conclusions about his new date with this information?
He sat down on a chair as far away as possible from the three drunk men, who right now were throwing weird looks at him, but still close enough to the door to have a clear sight of whatever happened outside. The bartender noticed his presence and instead of signaling him to come, he frowned and went back to his work.
Doyoung sighed. Great, this place doesn’t take orders from the tables; a dream come true.
He had to wait half an hour more to see the door open a second time. A ridiculously handsome guy—Doyoung could see it even behind the face mask the guy was wearing— maybe his age, with a big frame and cat-like eyes, crossed through it. He was dressed in a basketball t-shirt, a hoodie, and joggers. Doyoung looked at his blazer and pants, feeling a bit self-conscious. Maybe he was the only one who wasn’t ready for the kind of place they would visit.
“Sorry, I was practicing.” The guy sat in front of him and took off his mask, showing a beautiful, feline smile. He seemed like someone Doyoung had seen before, but he couldn’t remember where. “I guess you are Kim Doyoung?”
“Yes, and you are Suh John,” Doyoung nodded. To be fair, the guy seemed friendly and kind, and he was objectively handsome; if it weren't for the wait Doyoung would’ve appreciated it a bit more.
“A pleasure to meet you and please call me Johnny”
“You came late.” Half an hour late , he wanted to add. Being alone in an ugly bar, surrounded by men looking weirdly at him, made him cranky. Could you blame him?
“I’m sorry, the time flew by when I was practicing.”
“Sure...”
“Hey, I said I was sorry.”
“It doesn’t mean I have to forgive you.” This was his I.DEAL punishing him for Taeyong. Taeyong was good, smart, and determined—he was perfect and still Doyoung got bored of him two months before the machine sentenced the ending of their relationship. He broke Taeyong’s heart and now he was paying for it with a date in the worst restaurant of Seoul with someone who shows up thirty minutes late to his own date.
“Great,” the man sighed, “do you want to see how much time we have left?”
It was the first time Doyoung did it in five years, but he still remembered how the I.DEAL worked. They would meet in some place the machine said, they’d press the button to know how much time they had left for their relationship, and they’d enjoy being together for as long as the machine told them to. It could be long or short—which Doyoung certainly had his hopes up for with this date— but when it was over, that was it. At first glance, it might not seem perfect, but the system was used to take your reactions towards the date and find the best partner in the long run.
“Sure.”
Both left their I.DEAL on the table and, after a back count from Johnny, they pressed the green button that said TIME. Immediately, a countdown appeared; it said 04:32:15. Doyoung smiled at the machine, maybe this wasn’t a punishment after all.
“It’s not enough time to meet someone.” Johnny, unlike Doyoung, was frowning at the machine.
“But it’s enough to know you don’t like someone.”
Johnny looked at him for what felt like an eternity. “Really?”
Doyoung sighed. It probably wasn’t something that usually happened to him. He was handsome; others would have been busy trying to get on his good side.
“It’s better when it’s short.”
“What? Already know you don’t like me?”
“Well... you came late.”
“Thirty minutes.”
“You say that as if it could erase the fact that you left me hanging on our first date.”
“I was working,” he hissed angrily.
“And now we are fighting.”
“Because you are making it hard to not fight.”
Doyoung looked at his I.DEAL, the countdown was at 01:23:5 and descending rapidly.
At this point, four months after his second relationship ended, he knew his machine wasn’t close to recognizing who would be the best person for him (or that was what his friends said constantly. “ Of course it won't get it on the first try, give it more time ,” he could hear Jungwoo repeating to him). Still, he just wanted to get it over with. If the I.DEAL was as perfect as everyone said, why the only thing it left him with was a relationship that forced him to break the heart of one of the people he liked the most?
“Would you prefer ten years?”
“Of course not,” Johnny huffed, still with the anger of their discussion.
“Look, it’s not personal. I’ve had two relationships; both were too long and now I’m happy to have a short one.”
“You never had a one-night relationship?” he giggled “I thought it was everyone’s first.”
“No. My first relationship was a year, and it went badly. She and I weren’t made for each other.”
“And the second?” Johnny pried.
“It was better. He was good, fucking good. He came for university, and we lived together, and he even moved to Seoul to be with me, but it didn’t work out.”
He found himself telling his entire story to Johnny, a complete stranger. How he couldn’t understand what had happened to him, why he fell out of love and grew tired of their relationship. At the beginning, he was happily in love, but one day he noticed that what he used to feel whenever he was with Taeyong, wasn’t there. They still had “indf” on their I.DEALS and were supposed to keep trying, which Doyoung did. Until he couldn’t. Taeyong moved out, and Doyoung continued with his life, despite his I.DEAL marking him with Taeyong.
“So I’m your first date since Taeyong.”
“Yes.”
“That’s why you hoped to get a short date.”
“Maybe.”
“Do you still feel guilty?”
“Yes. Maybe we’d still be together today.”
It was the first time he admitted to someone else how guilty he felt. His friends thought that they broke up because of the I.DEAL, and not because Doyoung got bored even before the machine could break them up. Now the full weight of the admission was falling on him. They had to change the topic.
Thankfully Johnny was good at reading the room, because instead of going for comforting words and the cliched “ it’s not your fault ”, he said:
“Well, I had it worse.”
Doyoung laughed. It was the way he said it, cocky and arrogant, as if having a bad relationship was something you had to be proud of. “You didn’t.”
“No, I didn't. But I spent a year dating a man who hated my guts.”
“What?”
“We hated each other, he didn’t approve of my ways and told me he couldn’t date anyone who trained to become an idol.”
“He didn’t support you!”
“Yeah, it was bad. Very bad. And I couldn’t break up with him, so we stuck together until it was over,” he smiled. “I could swear my I.DEAL was trying to kill me there.”
From Johnny’s smile Doyoung knew he could laugh about it. “He wouldn’t kill you.”
“You never know!” he shrugged. “One day, we had such an awful fight that I thought he might grab the knife and kill me right there.”
“Well, you are big and strong. I’m sure you could defend yourself.”
“I’m sure you’d love to know what I could do with my strength.”
It was embarrassing to admit how fast Doyoung became red after Johnny’s insinuation. “You are also brave.”
“Well, we only have...” he looked at his I.DEAL and frowned, “seven hours together.”
He raised his I.DEAL, showing it to Doyoung. “It’s the first time I’ve gotten more time.”
“We must be doing something right.”
“How much longer do you think we can stretch this?” Johnny laughed mischievously.
“I don’t know,” Doyoung answered.
“Let’s do something. We shouldn’t worry about this. It’s boring to know how much time you’ll spend with someone. When it’s over, it’ll tell us.”
“Ok... It’ll be fun.” They had had a rocky beginning, but right now Doyoung could imagine himself having a good time with Johnny.
“Fine, what do you want to do on your first short date?”
Doyoung's eyes wandered through the bar—the three men were now gone, and there was only the waiter who right now was writing on a notebook.
“I want to get out of here.”
Johnny grinned playfully and Doyoung couldn’t help but imitate him.
“We have a plan.”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
“I have to tell you, I don’t like idol music.”
Despite it being winter, it wasn’t snowing outside but the air was cold, it was dark already and there weren’t clouds in the sky. The few people on the streets were moving fast to find a warm place to stay. Doyoung and Johnny, unlike everyone else and maybe being a bit dumb, kept walking calmly. Doyoung with his hands in his jacket, while Johnny had them in his pockets. He put his mask on again just as he went out, but did not raise the cap of his jacket so Doyoung could easily see his face.
Johnny laughed. Doyoung could see the wrinkles appearing in his eyes.
“I know.”
“How? Was it the pretentious air?” he joked. He didn’t think that being an idol had no value; after all, one of the reasons he chose his career path was SNSD’s Taeyeon. It was more that since his work included hearing a lot of idol music and passing it along to his boss, it wasn’t his preferred genre to relax to.
“Well, you were angry because I came half an hour late.”
“I think everyone would be angry in that situation,” Doyoung argued back, not losing the humorous tone.
Johnny walked faster to be in front of Doyoung and turned around to walk backwards, still looking at him, showing off his ability to keep walking in a perfect line. “Are you sure?”
“You are too smug for being so wrong.”
“Am I?” His eyes shined mischievously, and Doyoung couldn’t see anything else.
“Answering with more questions doesn’t make you sound smarter.”
“I’m pretty sure it does.” He stopped walking. “Also, we are not speaking about me. We are speaking about your total disregard for my dreams.” He kept smiling, so Doyoung knew they were still joking.
“Well, if it’s a dumb dream, I’m right to judge it,”
Johnny stopped and gasped noisily, pretending to be insulted. “I can't believe you said that!”
Doyoung shrugged. “You wanted my honest opinion.”
Johnny opened his bag, where his I.DEAL was, and looked inside. “Now the I.DEAL will say we have to date for three years.”
Doyoung nodded and said, “To be clear, I don’t think is dumb to become an idol.”
“I get it, you just hate the music.”
“It’s my work. I'm the assistant of the kpop director of a big company. And I have to listen to a lot of songs every day, you can’t imagine how many.”
“Really? That’s your job?”
“Yeah, and other things. But that’s one of the parts.”
“How did you get there?”
“I graduated with honors and became an assistant at a small company. Then, my actual boss discovered me, and now I’m there.”
“You sound sad about it.”
“I’m not sad. It’s a step towards my goals.”
“And those are...?”
“Creating music. I like making music, and yeah... I'm a musician, so there’s that.”
Objectively, he knew that being a musician was amazing and a great chance, yet he felt a bit uncomfortable speaking about his interest in it with Johnny’s eyes fixed on him.
“Well... everyone has their own path.”
“If you debut, I’ll support you.”
“Uhm...” he ran his hand through his hair, embarrassed. “I already did.”
Doyoung felt a rush of embarrassment. Johnny was handsome, very handsome, with his american accent, aloof attitude and charm he was the kind of idol who would easily attract everyone’s attention as long as they debuted.
“You must be in the worst company in Korea.” It was true. Unless Johnny’s company was really that incompetent, there was no way Doyoung would forget that face.
Johnny smiled softly. “I was joking, I’m still a trainee.”
“That makes more sense.” Doyoung shrugged, he definitely would notice if Johnny appeared in one of his videos.
Johnny scoffed, “I won’t even ask why.”
“Look, you are handsome, and I have to know about prominent idols and rookies. If you had already debuted, I would have recognized you just as I saw you.” Doyoung finished explaining his logic simply.
When he looked at Johnny, he noticed that the younger one was a bit impressed and had a sideways smile that Doyoung wanted to remember for the rest of his life.
“You think I’m handsome.”
“You know you are handsome.”
“You think I’m handsome enough to become noteworthy in an industry where everyone is very handsome.” He was delighted and Doyoung felt the red going to his ears. He shouldn’t have said that.
“I notice those things,” he huffed.
“So you go there calling everyone handsome?”
“Everyone and everything,” Doyoung pointed to a hydrant on the ground, “you are a very handsome hydrant.”
Johnny roared with laughter. He had a strong laugh, rich and very contagious. Little wrinkles formed around his eyes and his eyes closed in an endearing way. And the worst was that even with the mask, his eyes closed and his nose pink, he looked fucking handsome.
“You are incredible.”
“I know,” Doyoung smiled, “also, in my company they ask permission from the government for the rookies to not use their I.DEALS.”
“That too...” Johnny giggled in an adorable way Doyoung wasn’t going to forget anytime soon.
They kept walking, this time in silence. It wasn’t a calm silence, at least not for Doyoung, he couldn’t stop thinking about how the time they had together might end at any point. With their I.DEAL, everything meant something, even the silence. The machine was made to read their feelings and choose the best partner for them. Doyoung couldn’t stop wondering what his I.DEAL could be taking from him, that he liked silence? That he enjoyed being with guys who also worked in music? That his type was incredibly handsome and tall guys with catlike eyes and mischievous smiles?
“Do you want ice cream?” Johnny broke the silence, pointing to a small ice cream shop on the other side of the street.
“In winter?” Doyoung frowned. “Who eats ice cream in winter?”
“I do...” Johnny smiled, “and you should try to, it is a new experience.”
“It doesn’t even have space to sit inside!” Doyoung inflated his cheeks in annoyance, “I’ll die from coldness.”
“You look like a bunny,” he laughed between amusement and surprise. “I could tell you to come to the dorms, but I’m sure you won’t like it.”
“We can eat it at my apartment,” Doyoung offered. It would be comfortable and way better than walking in the cold.
“Great idea.”
That’s when it hit Doyoung. “Is this how you convince your shorts dates to have sex with you?”
Johnny’s eyes widened. “What?”
“You know, you tell them about the ice cream and then convince them to take you to their apartment, and you...”
“I don’t want to have sex with you.”
Doyoung was taken aback by the younger’s response. It was a joke, maybe a dumb one, but he wasn’t expecting to be cut off and receive an insulting answer. One that left very clear how little Johnny saw him as an attractive man.
“Well, thank you very much .” Doyoung responded to the younger man, walking away. It wasn’t just the phrase—he didn’t want to have sex with Johnny either, it was their first date—it was more the tone, like the idea of wanting to have sex with Doyoung was insulting to him. He knew what he was worth and if Johnny didn’t want to have sex with him, he was the one losing out on an amazing experience.
“Wait, are you angry?” Johnny walked behind him.
“No, I'm not. Let’s get your dumb ice cream if that’s alright with you...”
Johnny cursed under his breath. “Why are you so angry! Do you want to have sex with me?”
“I don’t have sex on the first date,” he huffed.
“Then why...” he stopped his words and took Doyoung’s hand, stopping him effectively.
Doyoung wanted to fight a bit more, but Johnny kept his grip. “Hear me out!”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“No, I need you to hear me out, Kim Doyoung,” Johnny said softly. “I want to have sex with you. I want to hear you moan my name until you come; I want to have your sexy, little ass under me; and I would love to feel your lips around my dick.”
“You are gross.” He turned around hoping Johnny wouldn’t notice the redness on his cheeks.
“But...” Johnny continued as if Doyoung didn’t say anything. “It's our only date and you don’t seem the type to like one-night stands.”
“I’m not.” He wasn’t, truly. But after hearing Johnny’s words, he couldn’t help but wonder how it would be to spend the night with him, even if it was only a one-time thing.
“Well, then, the question is answered.” Johnny brought Doyoung towards himself. “Can we go to your apartment?”
“Sure...” Doyoung agreed, falling under Johnny’s charming gaze.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
“So... this is where the magic happens,” Johnny said with a smile plastered on his face, looking at his little apartment.
Doyoung liked his apartment. It was a (very) small place with one room where he could relax after a hard day of work. He wasn’t one to spend too much time there because he practically lived at his company. It was the best way to comply with the demands of his boss, and to not be left alone during too much time. Yet, now, with Johnny’s eyes moving through it, checking everything he could see, he felt kind of weird. It was the first time he brought someone who wasn’t Jungwoo or Yuta to his space, and it felt daunting.
His apartment was a mess. The jacket he wore yesterday was splayed over the two moving boxes he still had in his living room. His only two glasses and three dishes were sitting on the dishwasher, dirty. And to make it worse, Doyoung could see from the living room his bedsheets lying on the floor of the bedroom. The apartment was so small that it was impossible to not notice the chaos.
“It’s cozy,” Johnny said after Doyoung never answered.
“You don’t have to lie.”
“No, it is,” his eyes were moving through the room, “you must love it.”
“It’s a place to live,” he shrugged and added, “I’m sorry for the mess.”
“I live in a two-room apartment with eight other men, it’s not a problem...”
“Sure....”
“Hey.” Johnny grabbed him, just as he did before, his hands felt hot over Doyoung’s. “It’s cool... you could have taken me to a literal shoe box, and I would still like it.”
“Oh!” Doyoung squealed to hide how much those words affected him. “You are cheesy.”
“I know... if we end up dating for longer, you’ll have to get used to it.”
“I hate it...”
“You don’t.” Johnny was full of confidence, and the worst part was that he was right. His little words worked like a charm on Doyoung. He never thought he would fall for cheesy lines, but there he was, flushed red because a handsome dude told him the corniest line ever.
“Ok.” He turned around. He had to save part of his dignity. “Take my phone and buy the ice cream,” he pointed towards his kitchen, “I’ll try to make this place decent.”
“Good idea, can I play some music?”
“If you want to. You can choose between the record player and the speaker.”
“Perfect.”
Doyoung’s attention was divided between washing the dishes in the sink and hearing Johnny roam through his apartment. After the younger found his speaker, which included a bit of a struggle to connect it to his bluetooth, Johnny started to read the flavors sold at the shop that was closest to his home out loud. Doyoung nodded when Johnny chose pistachio.
“Now, let’s wait,” Johnny said from the sofa. He was lying there, his body too big for the small piece of furniture, half of his legs outside, forming a weird diagonal and his torso in the middle of the sofa. His eyes were fixed on Doyoung, waiting for him. It was weirdly domestic and maybe Doyoung wanted more of it.
“How much do you think we have left?”
“Do you want my bet or the answer from the I.DEAL.”
“What’s your bet?”
“I have no idea... two years, three years?”
“Maybe...” He laughed at Johnny’s mischievous smile.
“Are you coming at some point?”
“Maybe...”
“So now you only know the word maybe.”
“Maybe...”
“Fuck,” Johnny cursed, still on lying on the sofa, looking at him with darkened eyes. “You are lucky you are hot.”
For what came after, if anyone asked, Doyoung would blame the slow r&b and Johnny looking at him as if he was the hottest person in the world.
He closed the distance between them, slowly, enjoying how Johnny's eyes followed his every movement, and sat down on Johnny, straddling his legs. The other was on his back looking at him, mesmerized, like he was the sexiest thing he had seen in his life. And you know what? Maybe he was. Doyoung certainly felt like it.
“I’m here.”
“I want to kiss you so bad...” He licked his lips and Doyoung followed the movement closely before closing the distance between them and going for it.
Johnny was soft. God, he was soft and sweet, and kissed Doyoung like he wanted to learn everything about him through it. It was too much, Johnny’s hands on his back, the taste of strawberries coming from his lip gloss, the softness of his lips. It was overwhelming, it was like the world was ending and there was nothing else except him and Johnny kissing for an eternity, without needing to breathe or anything else, because the only thing that mattered in the world, the only thing that could keep earth rotating, was them keeping their lips together.
Until it wasn’t. They needed to breathe, and there was someone ringing the doorbell of his apartment.
Doyoung broke the kiss, wishing they had more time to keep doing what they were doing, or better, that their I.DEAL decided that they were perfect for each other and gave them their “ indefinite ” status.
“The ice cream is here,” Johnny said breathlessly, his lips red and his hair a total mess.
“I noticed...” Doyoung moved from his place and walked towards the door. He could feel Johnny’s eyes following him. And suddenly he felt conscious about everything that just happened.
Doyoung took a deep breath before opening the door for the second time and found a frowning young guy with a uniform holding a pot of ice cream.
“You made me wait a lot.”
“I know...” he smiled, paid the fee to the guy with a generous tip, took his ice cream, and dismissed him. Then he looked at Johnny, who was still sitting on the sofa, his hair a bit better. Doyoung wanted to kiss him again, but instead he said: “Your beloved ice cream is here!”
“I can’t believe it! I thought it was another person you brought for a date.”
“It was. I made him bring the ice cream, and now he is waiting outside for me,” Doyoung went to the kitchen. “Can you go?”
Johnny faked being insulted for a second before going back to his relaxed attitude, watching him serving the ice cream. “Did you finish?”
“Yes... Do you want to go to the room to watch tv or stay here and play some music?”
“The music seems safer...”
Doyoung didn’t want to think too much about the meaning of Johnny’s ‘safer’.
“Okay.”
Johnny sat on the sofa, giving some space to Doyoung, who accommodated himself beside him. Both had their ice cream in an uncomfortable silence, only broken by the voice of Frank Ocean filling the room.
“Tell me something nobody knows about you,” Doyoung blurted when the silence was feeling more oppressive than anything else.
“Really?”
“Yeah...”
“Ok. I don't think I have friends. Not real ones at least.”
“Why?”
“Because I used to move all the time when I was younger, between my dad and grandma’s house, and I never made friends in school. And now that I’m in a company where you are competing against one hundred people to fit in a small group, you never know if they are your real friends.”
“Well, I can be your friend.” Doyoung touched Johnny’s thigh with his pinky finger, making him smile, his eyes almost closed and wrinkles adorning them. He was shining.
“You owe me a secret.”
“I promised to be your friend, and this is how you repay me?”
“First, it wasn’t a promise. And second, you still owe me a secret.”
“I don’t have secrets. My friends know everything there is to know about me.”
Johnny giggled at it, before noticing how serious Doyoung was being. And then added, “You are joking.”
“I’m not.”
“That’s the saddest thing I ever heard,” he put a spoonful on his mouth and smiled, “like ever.”
“Don’t be gross!” Doyoung fake-gagged at the younger speaking with his mouth full.
“I’m the gross one, but you are boring,” he replied, his thighs hot against Doyoung’s. “Tell me a secret. You had your feelings about Taeyong, so I know you have something else.”
“Fine,” he looked at the two boxes in his living room and knew what his secret would be. “I haven't finished unpacking because I know that if I do, it means that I'm officially alone in this apartment.”
Johnny nodded as if that explained something. And maybe it did, he had to notice how Doyoung was using the same two glasses he washed to serve the ice cream in. Or how there wasn't any decoration that marked the apartment as his. If it were a normal person Doyoung would expect them to say something like his apartment was still beautiful or ask when he was planning to start to unpack his things. Instead, Johnny had to ask the hardest question.
“What's the problem with being alone?”
“That...” he sighed. It was dumb how he didn’t have an explanation that didn’t sound like an entitled guy not wanting to confront the consequences of his choices. “It means that I'm starting over again. I’ve never lived alone. First, I was in university with my best friends and after that I had Taeyong, and I thought: that’s it, you’ll never be alone. But now I am.”
“Well, that’s life.” Johnny didn't say it to calm him, he didn’t even smile. He just said it as if it was a fact and that’s how everything worked.
“I know,” he covered his face, “and I know I was the one who broke it off, and I don't want to go back to it. But it’s more what it means to be alone. Literally, my parents were expecting the news of our engagement the day I told them we broke up.”
“Starting over isn’t that bad... the only meaningful relationship you have shouldn’t be with someone you don’t love.”
“I guess so...” He shrugged, still feeling a bit dumb by his confession.
“I’m not saying that you should feel guilty for not wanting to be alone,” Johnny said, hiding his frustration badly. “It’s normal to not want to be alone. It’s just that people get used to it.”
“Well, normally people don’t make the choice to be alone.”
“You didn’t either. Okay,” he said after Doyoung looked at him like he was crazy. “We are discussing two things here. Do you truly think you’d be happy if you stayed with Taeyong?”
“No... I felt so guilty all the time for not feeling like he felt.”
“Then you didn’t have another choice. And now you are alone, and you hate it. But it’s not your fault or a punishment for being a bad person.” He touched Doyoung’s thigh with his pinky, just like Doyoung did before. “Do you want to know a secret?”
“What?”
“I also hate being alone...”
Doyoung couldn’t stop the laughter that came through his body. Of course Johnny was going to say that—what else would be his secret —but it still felt unexpected. And the laughter brought more laughter, it was like something was breaking in him. He couldn’t stop laughing, not even knowing that Johnny was looking at him with laughter in his eyes. Doyoung wondered how someone could look soo eternally happy with himself.
“Better?” Johnny said minutes after, when Doyoung’s laughter faded into little giggles.
“I guess...” He looked up at Johnny’s face. His eyes were fixed on Doyoung, and he had a content smile. He was curious to know how it would be to see it every day. “You were right, this should’ve been a longer date,” he blurted.
Doyoung expected a cocky attitude or a joke to break the tension, but the only thing he got was Johnny losing his smile and a: “yes”.
“At least the I.DEAL will know what our types are.”
“You are the only one I ever liked, you know?” Johnny huffed, incredulous. “I don't believe in this shit. I only do it because I have to, and nobody will date you if you aren’t in their I.DEAL.”
“Really? Nobody?”
“When I told you my dates were awful, I wasn’t joking.”
“I know you weren’t. I would have thought that even if you had some bad dates, at least one was decent.”
“Not a single one. For a moment I thought I was the problem,” Johnny chuckled.
“You're not. You are too good, actually,” Doyoung blurted.
“Am I?”
Doyoung was very close to answering when he noticed what Johnny was trying to do. “I’m not inflating your ego.”
“Sad, I wanted a bit of love...”
“A bit of love? I can give you that.” Doyoung got up from the sofa.
“Are you going to kiss me, like before?”
“No, I was going for more ice cream.” Doyoung walked to the kitchen and took one of his two plates, the red one for more effect. While he wrote some words on the surface of the ice cream, he ignored Johnny’s eyes over him, and he went back to him with a smile.
“Your little bit of love.”
Jonny giggled at the plate of ice cream, the words “Bit of Love” drawn with Hershey's chocolate cream in Doyoung’s ugly writing. It wasn’t beautiful, but Doyoung felt proud when Johnny laughed.
“Ok, come here!” Johnny took Doyoung by the waist, making him fall down over him. Both laughed dumbly and then they were kissing again. And it was even better than before, more hungry, with more knowledge of their likes and dislikes. Johnny groaned into the kiss and moved to put Doyoung under him without breaking the kiss. His mouth traveled to Doyoung’s neck, kissing on his pulse, taking a whine from him.
“Take off your shirt.” Doyoung pushed him and Johnny followed through. “God, you are hot,”he murmured, without breaking his eyes from the sculpted-by-the-gods body.
“I guess I am.” Johnny dived back to his previous labor. Doyoung whined again when the younger one touched a particularly soft place behind his ears, and Johnny rolled his body against him. “You are so sensitive.” Johnny’s breath felt like life against his skin. “Can I mark you?”
“Please...” Doyoung muttered without breath. And just as he did, just as the words came from his mouth, an strident beep broke in the room. It was from the two I.DEALS.
“Fuck,” Johnny said against his skin. “Of all the times in the world”
Doyoung closed his eyes, hoping to not regret the words that came after. “If you want to keep going, we can.”
He almost covered his face in embarrassment when Johnny got up from his place and looked at him, trying to read him. He knew the younger wanted to be sure they were on the same page and that he wouldn't regret it.
“Are you sure?”
“We could go to my room...” Doyoung smiled mischievously and Johnny reciprocated not long after.
“You are so fucking hot.” He kissed him for a last time before taking his hand and walking him to his bed.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Doyoung woke up to an empty bed and the sound of someone in the kitchen. Johnny, he thought immediately; and a rush of happiness came through him. He just had the best first date he could ever imagine and now, maybe, they’d get an amazing morning together.
“Good morning,” he said, walking out of the bedroom.
“I’m making pancakes, I hope it is not a problem.” He wasn't dressed. He had the old pajamas Jungwoo left behind when he stayed the night after helping Doyoung move into his apartment, which Doyoung managed to find by luck; and to cover his upper body he was using one of Doyoung’s aprons. One that he could swear was in one of his boxes.
“No...” He looked at both I.DEALS sitting on his small table. They didn’t have numbers, instead they were black, just like they were after he and Taeyong officially broke up.
“How did you sleep?”
“Fine... Not too much time for sleeping, though.”
Johnny smiled sheepishly at that. “I know.”
“It was good, very good.”
“I know, I got the chance to spend my night with a cute, funny and sexy guy.” Johnny got closer to him, caging him against the wall.
Doyoung let himself melt into the kiss that came after. It was short, because the smell of something burning started to come and Johnny ran back to the pan on the stove. “Fuck.”
“I was thinking,” Doyoung leaned against the small kitchen island, “I’m open to keep the promise of being friends if you are.”
“I don’t have a problem with that. You might not be the one, but I could get a friend out of this.”
Obviously he felt a bit disappointed by Johnny’s easy answer, but he knew they didn’t have any other options. It was being friends or being apart until their I.DEALS put them together, and that last option was unthinkable. “Then, we are friends. Like, trying to be friends at least.”
“Sure...” Johnny finished the last pancake and left a plate with six pancakes in the middle of the kitchen island. “You only have two dishes.”
“Yeah...” Doyoung smiled, embarrassed.
“It’s not only the I.DEAL, you know?” Johnny took a bite from one of the pancakes. “You should get used to being alone.”
“I know.”
“Okay. You are still cute. Sad, but cute.”
Doyoung bit his lower lip in frustration. “Thank you. You are okay too...”
“Okay?” He faked being mortally wounded. “You are gonna break my heart.”
“Shut up... When do you have to be at the company?”
“Uhm...” He looked at his watch. “Two hours.”
“Then you should get going.”
“You should give me your number.”
“Why do you always have some comeback?”
“Because I'm smart. You should try it too.” When Doyoung huffed, insulted, Johnny beamed, proud of getting under his skin.
“Give me your phone. And take a shower and change.”
“It’s in my pants, you can take it when you need it. The password is 0102.” It was the last thing he said before the sound of the shower came with strength.
Doyoung walked towards Johnny’s pants which were thrown beside the bed, and unlocked it easily—he spared a laugh when he noticed how the password being the same as his wasn’t a joke. He finished writing his number when a message came to Johnny. He wasn’t planning on reading it but the popup for the notification had the text.
[7:56 am] Jaehyun: Bro, where are you? They visited our dorms yesterday and they want to...
He threw the phone away as if it was made of lava and walked to the kitchen to wash the dishes.
When Johnny came out of the bathroom, perfectly dressed, Doyoung was already fixing his room. He threw his sheets with the dirty laundry and was placing new ones at that exact moment.
“Hey... I could’ve helped you.”
“I’m fine and you should go.”
“Hey.” Johnny held him by the waist, hugged him from behind. “Are you ok?”
“It’s late and I’m keeping you here.”
“Yeah, it’s not like I want to be here with you,” Johnny murmured against his ear and Doyoung shivered under his ministrations. “I swear, I still have time.”
“Sure.”
By Doyoung’s answer, Johnny sighed, getting away from him and muttering, “You didn’t have any problem with my cellphone.”
“Of course I didn't. I don’t know if you know but your password is the same as mine”
“It’s my mom’s birthday.”
Doyoung snickered after hearing the explanation. “I have the same birthday as your mom.”
“I guess.”
“I swear to god, this is insane.”
“Maybe...” Johnny used Doyoung’s reaction to get closer to him. And, unlike his last try, Doyoung let himself be hugged by the younger. “You don’t seem real either.”
“I don’t want you to go.”
“I don’t want to go.”
“I know,” he sighed. “Promise me you’ll call me.”
“Pinky prom...”
Johnny didn’t finish. Doyoung was kissing him again. This one was way softer, with the knowledge that it would be their last kiss. Trying to mark each other on their memories, the feelings, the little sounds, everything they could.
Doyoung was the one who broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against Johnny’s shoulder. Still with his hands on his neck.
“You have to go now.”
“Then let me go.”
Doyoung nodded, putting some space between them. “Bye.”
“Bye, Kim Doyoung.”
Doyoung didn’t move from his place while he watched Johnny picking up his few things. He fixed his eyes on the floor while he heard the steps towards the door, and he nodded softly after hearing Johnny’s goodbyes. It was anticlimactic, but it was what he needed.
He had no idea about the future. If Johnny would call him and they became friends. Or if this would be a night that would live on only in Doyoung’s memories. But for the first time in more than a year, he felt excited about it.
And just like that, after six months, Doyoung unpacked his boxes.
The end