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You're walking around in pitch black nothingness. There's no color in sight, not even for yourself, as looking yourself over proves you to be in black and white. Things feel hazy, fake and unreal. You certainly hope this isn't the afterlife, you didn't even get to say your goodbyes if this is!
The last thing you remember was falling asleep for the night, thinking about your friends. Maybe this is a dream then?
Suddenly, a table appears, and a familiar figure comes into focus, leaning back in a chair with their feet resting on the table. They give a lazy salute, beckoning you to join them. Now you know this is a dream.
What are you even doing here, huh?
They ask, yet their mouth doesn't move. You join them anyways, their gaze never leaving you.
You know I'm not real. Why don't you talk to your friends instead? You know they miss you.
You do know. You just don't care. You don't care about anything anymore, really. They'll miss you, sure, but they'll get over it. Everyone does.
Alright then. Tell me, what's been on your mind?
You have a feeling they know already. This is a dream after all, so they must know what you know. You lie to them anyways.
Everything's fine.
Come on, be honest. No one else is here to listen, you don't have to hide behind words.
They look bored at your answer, yet not surprised. You bristle, shooting them a glare.
And what good would being honest to you do? You're not real. This is just a dream.
Because if you tell me, that makes it easier to tell someone else. So, humor me.
Annoyingly, they have a point. It's something you knew already too. It's just difficult.
You know it's not easy. I'm not like you, I can't be bluntly honest to save my life.
You don't have to be like me. We both know that's not what you want, no matter how much you lie to yourself.
They remove their feet from the table, leaning close, resting the chin in the palm of their hand. They stare at you with such a caring expression, that if you didn't realize it was a dream before, you surely would now.
Hey, I can be caring! I'm not always a prick and you know it!
You refuse to agree, despite wanting to.
Stop reading my thoughts.
Can't. I'm in your head, remember? I know all your secrets, whether or not you're lying, and the things you want to say.
It makes sense, but you don't like it. You're used to hiding behind secrets and half-lies. Without those, you're vulnerable. Too vulnerable.
You don't have to be afraid, you know. I can't hurt you here. Or in the waking world, unless you start hallucinating me.
Wouldn't want that, now would I?
They laugh soundlessly, wiping at their eye.
Still got some sass, good!
They grin, though it's softer than you anticipated.
Now, admit why you're hiding from your friends, yeah?
You stare at them, before sighing deeply, bowing your head.
They could do better. I don't know why they keep me around, I hardly contribute to anything.
Lying's useless, remember? You know why. You're just still unused to the reason.
They care about you. Your friends. They say it everytime you talk with them. You can't remember when it started, but they always make sure to let you know they love and care about you. But, any joy you get from those words always sour from the following thoughts.
Because…
If it's so easy for them to say and mean that, why couldn't my own family do that?
Neither of us know. Neither of us want to find out. Even if we have some theories, they're just theories.
And you both know what would happen if you tried asking your family that question.
But, who cares? You've found a new family, with your friends. And they'll stick around, you just gotta stop trying to sabotage yourself.
Easier said than done.
It's a cruel cycle. Find people you care about, get a bit too used to their presence and comfort, then start distancing yourself before they could hurt you. Because you can't be betrayed and backstabbed if you distance yourself first.
I know. But trying even a little bit is enough. Because then it'll grow.
…I'm still scared.
You don't have to be. These friends have been with you for years. The longest yet. I doubt you'll be able to shake them so easily.
They get up from their seat, circling over to your side. They place a hand on your shoulder, squeezing it gently. You refuse to look at them. You don't want to lose it if they're giving you any kind look.
Talk to them. I'll be on my way. Don't expect this much kindness next we meet, nerd.
Their words sound mean, but you know they're just poking fun. They'd do anything to keep you safe and happy, if they were real.
Please don't leave yet.
They laugh, shaking their head in amusement.
Not leaving forever, y'know. I'm a part of you after all. Whether you like it or not, I'll come back again to talk some sense into you.
Their touch leaves you, and you see them stretch out of the corner of your eye. Though, they startle you by bringing you to your feet, patting your back.
Let's get out of here now, yeah? You got some friends to talk to!
You're turned around, held against their side. A door is now before you two, a bright white within the pitch black nothingness.
I'll try. …Thanks.
Don't thank me yet! I'll kick your butt next time if you end up avoiding them again.
You know they will, at least verbally. You two share a laugh, their's more boisterous than yours. As you two approach the door, you glance at them. They're smiling, bright and warm. You do the same to the best of your abilities.
With a deep breath, you gently open the door.