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Beca tried to read the dictionary once, back in elementary school. Her classes were boring and the kids around her were boring and she figured—with the logic of a child—reading the dictionary would mean she knew what everything meant and she'd be smarter and could finish school faster. It was a brilliant, flawless plan.
She didn't even make it through the A's, because reading the dictionary was boring too. Obviously.
But she remembers some of the words she read pretty well. And one in particular has been bugging her for a while now.
Accident—An event that happens by chance or that is without apparent or deliberate cause.
There's other, less cool definitions that pop up when she googles it to make sure she remembers right. But this is the definition that sticks out to her.
A lot of things in her life have happened by accident, she thinks. Accepting her dad's college deal to get him off her back accidentally led to her finishing out her degree. Landing the job in New York accidentally led to her and Jesse breaking up. (There was another, more pressing reason, but they've silently agreed to let this be the story for now.) Not being able to afford the ridiculous rent on her own accidentally led to her having to roommate with Chloe and Amy. And, related, not being able to afford more than a studio apartment, even with the three of them chipping in, accidentally led to her sharing a bed with Chloe. For the foreseeable future.
Which brings everything back around to that more pressing reason for her and Jesse's breakup…
Falling in love with Chloe was an accident. There was Jesse and he was cool. Not a great boyfriend, but a good one. And a great friend. Which felt like a good enough balance back then. It should have worked for her.
But there was also Chloe and she was...everything. Shockingly bold, hopelessly optimistic, and undyingly kind. And beautiful. The kind of beautiful that artists desperately attempt to create. The kind that makes Beca's stomach flutter when it's too close.
Jesse noticed it first. And it wasn't until he flat out said, "You're in love with Chloe" that she was able to fully accept it herself.
Falling in love with Chloe was an accident. Except...she doesn't think it was. Because how can there not be "apparent or deliberate cause" when Chloe is constantly running her fingers along Beca’s forearms just the way she likes or waking her in the mornings by shaking her with soft hands and even softer whispers? Is it "by chance" that Chloe always knows exactly how Beca wants the music she makes to be interpreted? Just chance that Chloe can sense Beca's mood without her even speaking?
It can't be, Beca thinks as she sits on the end of their bed, watching Chloe. It's just the two of them, Amy out with Bumper for the evening, and Beca's just staring as Chloe dances around the kitchen while she cooks. She hums and sways her hips to whatever song is stuck in her head today. When it comes time to add the cheese to her pasta sauce, she opens the fridge and pulls out the cheddar. Amy's favorite is cheddar. Chloe's is pepper jack and Beca knows for a fact that there's a bag of it in the fridge, right beside where the cheddar was. The spoon taps gently against the side of the pot, musically, as Chloe stirs with one hand and conducts a silent orchestra with the other.
And that can't all be chance. Can't all be without apparent or deliberate cause. Because Chloe was made to be loved. Designed to draw people in and make them want to build a home in her presence. Everyone falls in love with her, because how could they not? And Beca, in particular, feels targeted. Because it can't be an accident that this girl who is Beca's opposite in so many ways harmonizes with her so perfectly. It just can't be.
And maybe that's why Beca speaks up.
"I love you, you know."
Chloe nearly drops the spoon as she spins around. "What did you say?"
Another time, another version of herself, she may have taken it back. Or turned it into a joke so nothing would get weird or awkward. But right here and now, she's so certain that none of this is happenstance. It was inevitable. "I'm in love with you," Beca says, shrugging. "I have been for forever. And I don't know why the hell I decided to tell you right now, but uh." She shrugs again and stands up.
Chloe hasn't moved from her place at the stove and she watches with wide eyes and trembling hands as Beca crosses the distance between them.
"I don't know, dude. You just..." Awkwardly, Beca motions to the dinner on the stove and the kitchen in general that Chloe has been dancing in for the last hour. "I just wanted to...say it. I guess. And it's totally cool if you—"
Chloe kisses her like she was made to do just that. Her arms wrap around Beca's neck with the kind of ease born of years and years of friendly hugs and maybe cosmic design. And when Beca grabs her hips to pull her in closer, Chloe’s sigh sounds so much like, "Finally".
When Chloe eventually pulls back, it's with a smile Beca knows well. She saw it that day in the showers of Barden, on stages around the world, and almost every morning since they moved in together.
"I'm in love with you too. Totes ridiculously in love." Chloe laughs against her lips as she steals another kiss. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."
"You should tell me." Beca grins when Chloe kisses her again for it.
"I will. But first." Chloe winces apologetically as she removes one arm from around Beca's neck and reveals she's still holding the cheese sauce-covered spoon. "I think I just got sauce on your shirt." She tugs Beca to the side to check her back. "Shit, I totally did. I'm sorry!"
Beca just laughs. "It's okay. It was an accident."