Chapter Text
Topaz added Firefly, Sparkle, Black Swan, Sampo, Acheron, Aventurine, Dr. Ratio, Gallagher, and 4 others to the chat.
Topaz named the chat: best friends dorever
4:47 a.m.
Firefly: love you guys (♡ˊ͈ ꒳ ˋ͈)
-3 Weeks Later-
10:34 a.m.
Topaz: Hey, what the fuck?
Acheron: w.
Black Swan: Hello?
Boothill: NOW WHAT IN THE FUDGE IS THIS
Misha: um, who are these people??
Sunday: What in God’s name is this?/rh
Sparkle: WADDUP LOSERRSSSS
Sampo: SPARKLE!
Sparkle: HEY THERE FAG!
Aventurine: Whoa what the fuck
Gallagher: Well somebody came out swinging with the slurs
Sparkle: I’m right and I should say it
Sparkle: BESIDES HE’S MY FAVOURITE FAG!!
Sparkle: I LOVE THIS GUY <3
Sampo: AWW I LOVE U 2 SPARKLE
Sparkle: oh like what’s this gc about by the way?
Acheron: yi
Sparkle: and why can this person not talk correctly
Dr. Ratio: I’ve never seen so many unknown numbers in a single group chat. I don’t know any of you.
Aventurine: What about me, doctor?
Dr. Ratio: Remind me.
Topaz: OUCH he didn’t save your number
Misha: who is everyone?? I only know mx. sunday, miss robin, and gallagher
Gallagher: I figured none of you would remember
Gallagher: A few of you girls (dont remember which ones) got roaring drunk in Penacony and decided to keep in touch
Gallagher: You also didnt exactly tell some of the other people you were adding them
Gallagher: No idea how our uptight sunday got in here
Topaz: I literally have only the vaguest memory of what happened that night
Sampo: ahaa well since were all here we shld intro ourselves
Sampo: get rd of sum of those unknwn nmbrs ya feel me?
Boothill: I FEEL YOU LET’S GO
Boothill: I’M BOOTHILL, I’M A COWBOY, NUFF SAID
Black Swan: What are your pronouns, if you don’t mind me asking?
Sparkle: if they aren’t yee/haw i’ll be disappointed
Boothill: WHATEVER YOU WANT BUT MOST FOLKS USE HE/HIM
Sparkle: kys
Boothill: WELL DARN FUDGE YOU TOO
Black Swan: You can call me Black Swan. My pronouns are she/her. I’m a Memokeeper at the Garden of Recollection, although it isn’t nearly as fun as it sounds :)
Topaz: Oh cool!
Topaz: I’m Topaz, she/her, and I work at the IPC
Aventurine: I’m Aventurine, my pronouns are he/him, and I also work at the IPC in the same department as Topaz
Firefly: that’s so cool!
Sampo: hold on, ur the 1 that txtd 1st!!!!!
Firefly: oh
Firefly: yeah i am
Topaz: Well, introduce yourself!
Firefly: oh ok
Firefly: people call me firefly, i’m genderfluid (she/her right now), and i think i’m one of the only people who remembers what happened that night
Topaz: Oh shit sorry!
Firefly: it's ok i don’t mind
Firefly: you said we were all best friends so i’m just really happy that we still get to talk (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
Black Swan: Aww, how sweet :)
Sparkle: okay okay everyone clear the stage
Boothill: UH WHAT DOES TAHT MEAN
Sparkle: PREPARE FOR TROUBLE
Sampo: AND MAKE IT DOUBLE
Sparkle: TO PROTECT THE WORLD FROM DEVASTATION
Sampo: TO UNITE ALL PEOPLE WITHIN OUR NATION
Sparkle: TO DENOUNCE THE EVILS OF TRUTH AND LOVE
Sampo: TO EXTEND OUR REACH TO THE STARS ABOVE
Sparkle: SPARKLE (any pronouns)
Sampo: SAMPO (he/him)
Sparkle: TEAM ROCKET BLASTS OFF AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT
Sampo: SURRENDER NOW OR PREPARE TO FIGHT
Sunday: Did you need to be so… dramatic?/judging
Sparkle: A MEOWTH VOLUNTEER
Sunday: What?
Sampo: YOU ARE OUR MEOWTH NOW, NO CHOICE
Gallagher: Hey there sunday
Sunday: Gallagher./neg
Black Swan: You don’t need to use tone indicators for every sentence
Sunday: I always need to be fully understood./srs
Firefly: it’s helpful!
Sunday: See? My efforts are being appreciated.
Sparkle: ok then u go
Sunday: My name is Sunday. I manage the hotel/casino in Penacony that I believe most of you stayed at when this chat was made.
Topaz: What are your pronouns?
Sunday: My pronouns are he/hymn./ij
Sparkle: OMG WAIT UR CHICKEN WING MAN HAHA
Sunday: My actual pronouns are they/he.
Sparkle: CHICKEN WING PERSON HAHA
Misha: at least you’re inclusive?
Sparkle: OF COURSE!!!1!!
Sparkle: the more people are included the bigger the audience :3
Gallagher: Something about that feels wrong but i cant place it
Gallagher: Anyway im gallagher, he/him, im the bartender who served drinks for the makers of this godforsaken chat
Sunday: Of course, you enabled this.
Gallagher: Wheres my tone indicator?
Sunday: You don’t deserve them.
Sampo: yeesh did yall break up or wut
Gallagher: Misha introduce yourself
Misha: um!! i am misha!! i use he/him pronouns i think
Firefly: you’re the bellboy at the hotel we stayed at right?
Misha: yes! i remember you asking for my phone number very nicely
Sunday: Don’t give out your number to strangers, Misha./srs
Gallagher: Dont give your number to just anyone misha
Firefly: oh don’t blame him please!!
Firefly: i had a little bit too much to drink so i was being kind of pushy!! it’s my fault!
Gallagher: You literally drank that blue haired guy under the table and were still fully coherent
Gallagher: Id be scared of you too
Aventurine: Speaking of blue-haired people…
Aventurine: Somebody hasn’t introduced themself…
Topaz: He’s probably just typing an essay about himself
Black Swan: I’m almost scared to ask, but who?
Dr. Ratio: I am Dr. Veritas Ratio, a scholar and teacher of the Intelligensia Guild. I am well versed in the fields of biology, medicine, natural theology, philosophy, mathematics, physics, and engineering. My pronouns are he/him.
Topaz: Oh shorter than I thought
Dr. Ratio: I don’t self-aggrandize.
Misha: what’s your phd in, if you don’t mind me asking?
Aventurine: Lol, which one?
Dr. Ratio: I have a PhD in all of the fields I previously mentioned.
Black Swan: Very impressive! Perhaps you could stop by the Garden of Recollection and we can have a chat :)
Dr. Ratio: Perhaps.
Firefly: there’s only two people left who need to introduce themselves, right?
Acheron: hw
Black Swan: Oh dear.
Acheron: awwn
Gallagher: Skip?
Sparkle: why would u skip acheron!! she’s a really good unit!!
Sampo: wut r u talking abt
Sunday: Are you assuming Acheron’s pronouns? I thought you were inclusive, Sparkle./t
Sparkle: MY BAD
Sparkle: WHAT R UR PRONOUNS
Acheron: im hve no prinouns
Aventurine: Everyone has pronouns, they came free with your xbox
Acheron: nont
Topaz: Is this person speaking in code?
Gallagher: Im pretty sure your friend here has trouble with technology
Gallagher: No need to worry
Boothill: WAIT A MOTHERFUDGING SECOND
Boothill: ACHERON?????
Acheron: who are yu
Boothill: IT'S ME BOOTHILL
Acheron: wvp
Acheron: Apologies for the inconvenience. Acheron has difficulty with technology and touchscreens. I’m Welt Yang, a friend of Acheron’s. I can transcribe.
Acheron: ‘You can call me Acheron. I have anterograde amnesia, so I have difficulty forming new memories. If I don’t remember you, that’s probably why. I don’t have pronouns.’
Aventurine: Everyone? Has? Pronouns?
Acheron: Welt here, Acheron is agender and, yes, doesn’t have pronouns. If you’re referring to Acheron in the third person, Acheron prefers that you only use Acheron’s name.
Acheron: ‘It helps me keep track of who people are talking about. That’s also hard sometimes.’
Gallagher: Noted 👍
Boothill: I DON’T GIVE ONE FUDGE IF YOU’VE GOT PRONOUNS OR NOT
Boothill: YOU’RE AN IDENTITY THIEF SO SQUARE UP BEHIND THE WAFFLE HOUSE ACHERON
Acheron: ‘Who are you?’
Boothill: I DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE, ACHERON
Boothill: BUT I’M GONNA FIND YA
Boothill: AND WE’RE GONNA HAVE A DUEL AT HIGH NOON
Sparkle: that sounds impractical
Sparkle: duel before the sun is in the sky
Sampo: pick a place to die where its high and dry
Boothill: YOU TWO AIN’T COWBOYS SO STAY OUTTA THIS
Black Swan: There’s still someone who has yet to introduce themself…
Sunday: I have no unknown numbers left in my contact list.
Gallagher: Me neither
Robin: sorry! I just didn’t want to cause a fuss!
Sparkle: YOOOOOO LET'S GOOO SET COMPLETE
Firefly: oh, i remember you
Robin: it's nice to talk to you again!/gen
Aventurine: Oooh, we’ve got a celebrity in the chat
Robin: i’m really not that big of a deal, i just sing at the hotel sometimes!!
Sunday: My sister is an excellent singer and is the shining star of our hotel. She performs at stages all around Penacony and beyond. I will not allow any disparaging of her reputation, even from the woman herself./hj
Sparkle: wow how abt u do her intro then
Robin: that won’t be necessary!
Robin: my name is robin, and i’m a singer. my pronouns are she/her!
Acheron: ‘Cool. I think you had a nice voice. It was warm.’
Robin: oh thank you! I try!
Black Swan: Well, I believe that’s everyone, correct?
Sparkle: I COULD GO AGAIN
Sunday: No./srs
Sampo: but itd be so fun
Sparkle: yeahhh don’t be a killjoy chicken wing
Misha: um why do you call mx. sunday that?
Sampo: we saw them waiting infront of a kfc
Sparkle: IT WAS SO FUNNY
Sparkle: THIS 6FT SMTH WHITE-HAIRED PERSON IN A TAILORED SUIT WHO LOOKS LIKE A POORLY DISGUISED ANGEL WAITING IN LINE FOR KFC
Sunday: I don’t partake in Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Sampo: why were u thre then
Sampo: HMMM??
Sparkle: sounds sus :/
Sunday: Robin’s rehearsal was running late so I was picking up fried chicken for her and the rest of the crew.
Robin: thanks for that, by the way!
Sunday: It was my pleasure./gen
Sparkle: ew vom
Sampo: sparkle when a gen connction:
Sparkle: kys
Aventurine: Anyway I like have work
Aventurine: Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Dr. Ratio: One e would have sufficed.
Gallagher: Who hurt you man
Gallagher: Youre worse than sunday and thats saying something
Boothill: THE REAL QUESTION IS WHO HURT YOU
Gallagher: Was it not clear
Sunday: You’re the one who got hurt?/rh
Sparkle: ok srsly what happened here
Sunday: I don’t know, Gallagher, what happened here?
Topaz: Ok bye
Topaz: I’m not doing this shit
Misha: pleasepleaseplease not here
Robin: some conversations should stay in the dms, maybe?
Sunday: You’re right, Robin./gen
Acheron: ‘Are they gone?’
Black Swan: Yes, I think they’re gone.
Black Swan: I also have work to do, so I’ll have to go now.
Black Swan: It was a pleasure speaking to you all again :)
Acheron: bue
-
Acheron put the phone down on the coffee table, turning to look at Welt sitting on the other side of the couch.
“Do you want me to transcribe for you more?” he asked, tilting his head.
“No,” Acheron said. “It’s okay. You’re already letting me stay in your house. I don’t want to impose more.”
“I don’t mind helping you,” Welt countered. “I’m sure any of the others would be willing to help too, if you asked.”
“I… don’t trust any of the others to type for me except for Himeko and Dan Heng,” Acheron said. “Besides, I don’t want them to hear me through a proxy, even if it would be easier.”
Welt sighed, standing up and reaching for his cane, leaning against the arm of the couch.
“If you’re sure, then I won’t interfere.”
“Thank you,” Acheron said. “Can you remind me to check the chat, though? Until it sticks, at least.”
“Of course.”