Chapter Text
One Note: I've never watched YHS, so everything written about it here mainly comes from the wiki and tumblr.
Hope you enjoy!
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Etho considers himself an observant person.
One grows to be observant when working with redstone systems as long as he has. It’s one of the reasons why the hermits typically ask for his help with troubleshooting. Over the years, he’s developed the ability to analyze these things with considerable proficiency.
And it didn't stop at redstone.
There have been many times where Etho has noticed things about his fellow hermits. Habits, movement, and behaviors that they themselves were unaware of.
Bdubs, for instance, has a tendency to ruffle or stroke his hair when stressed or frustrated - a habit that’s resulted in many, many bad hair days for his vertically challenged friend. (Seriously, so many. At one point, Etho had to physically restrain him from doing so before his hair became a tousled brown tumbleweed)
Impulse, too, had a subconscious habit. Tapping. When stressed, his leg taps the floor like a jackhammer. Deep in thought, his fingers tap the closest flat surface to him. Skizz also had a similar habit, constantly tapping his fingers as though he’s drumming along to something.
Gem couldn’t stay still during conversations.
Skizz gesticulates like his life depended on it.
Cleo sucks her teeth when annoyed.
You get the idea
Yep. At this point in his life, Etho would say he knows a decent amount of information about all his friends.
Well.. all except one.
Grian.
Etho never really realized how little he knew about Grian until talking with Scar a few days ago.
Going over to his base with the intention of doing a checkup on his mailbox, Etho was once again subjected to a trademark Scar rant.
As he listened passively to the talkative man, a particular part of his rant stuck out to him..
“-and then Tango and I got to talking about my tank for the axolotls since - as you know - they keep dying on me! He was stumped too, though, so we went to Grian and finally learned it was the gravel size and the fish inside the tank that kept causing their deaths. So we ended up switching all those as G said and-” Scar dramatically motioned towards the tank with a pleased grin. “-I am proud to introduce you to tank 2.0!”
Etho examined the tank before giving a few nods. “Mhm, very nice.” The axolotls seemed much happier. And alive. He turned back to Scar, a curious look in his eyes. “Why’d you go to Grian for this specifically, though?”
Scar gave him a confused look, to which he elaborated. “It’s just, I figured Gem would be your first choice to ask about this stuff since she studied marine biology. I didn’t know Grian was interested in that too.”
“Oh,” Scar perked up, smiling. ”Grian also studied marine biology.”
Etho looked at him with intrigue. “Oh really?”
“Yep, he actually has a PhD in biology.” He let out a chuckle, looking down with a fond expression.. “You should see him rant about this stuff, dude. Seriously, if you think I’m bad, wait till you hear Grian. He could talk about this for days on end.”
Now that caught Etho’s attention.
Grian has a PhD AND can rant longer than Scar? Scar?
“Huh,” Etho had a surprised look on his face. “I had no idea.”
Scar scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “Yeah, I didn’t know either. Only found out a few months ago. Cool, isn’t it?”
Etho hummed in agreement, glancing in the direction of Grian’s base.
As interesting as it was to learn about his education, this information sparked another question in the back of Etho’s mind.
How much did he really know about Grian?
I mean, he and I have been friends for years and I wasn’t even the slightest bit aware of this. Granted, they never really talked about themselves all too often, simply chatting about activities, projects, and other such things. However, Scar and Grian have been friends for longer than they have, yet apparently Scar himself wasn’t aware until a few months ago.
Come to think of it… he didn’t really know much about Grian, did he? Not much at all.
He found himself wanting to know more about his friend, though. Not many know, but he and Etho had become quite close over the last three years. While decent friends before then, it was from all the past events and activities they conducted together that Etho and Grian were able to grow even closer.
Curiosity now peaked, it was after this incident and realization that Etho decided to start paying closer attention to his friend.
I wonder if I’ll notice anything interesting.
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Well, to say what he noticed was ‘interesting’ isn’t exactly the most accurate word to use..
Concerning seems more fitting.
Much more.
There were a few things he noticed over the last few weeks - things which, by themself, wouldn’t garner too much concern. However…all this together was not painting a pretty picture.
Firstly, Grian was more introverted than he seemed.
Between the time he spends by himself, his unenthused expression when there’s small talk, his silence during conversations unless asked or being able to provide input he seemed to deem valuable (or funny), and his quiet mindfulness of his surroundings, Etho never realized how similar they were in this regard.
On the subject of his silent mindfulness, though, it was while observing this that Etho noticed a few other things - which brings him to his second observation.
Grian.. was incredibly observative and hypervigilant.
Regardless of who he was talking to, how tired he was, or whatever activity was going on, he remained aware of everything around him.
It’s hard to notice at first, with his typical lax posture and honest expression, but his eyes - they moved actively and frequently. His ears seemed to pick up the quietest of sounds. His fingers twitched at every noise.
He noticed a creeper approaching their group from 40 ft away in a forest , eyes filling with mirth and a mischievous look on his face as he silently watched it come behind Impulse. Etho was confused by his change in expression until a few minutes later when he heard Impulse scream and an explosion behind him.
When he, Grian and a few other hermits were given a tour of Impulse’s base, he noticed his eyes darting in the direction of the various noises within the city. Each glance was subtle, ears perking at the noise before he discreetly gave a quick look in the direction.
Heck, he’s caught Etho staring at him every single time they’ve interacted. Granted, Etho isn’t the best at being stealthy, but he is somewhat decent at it. To catch him each and every time was impressive.
And, thankfully, he’s only given him a confused look and an amused chuckle at his sheepish expression when caught.
.
.
.
Well, anyways, the point is Grian is observant, very observant.
It begs the question how he became so vigilant of his surroundings. This inconspicuous attitude and constant surveillance - it isn’t something you learn overnight. It’s definitely not something you develop unless you’ve been placed in a position where such a habit is necessary for your accomplishment.
Or survival.
“…”
Considering his third observation, he would say the latter is more likely in Grian’s case. It’s this habit that really worries Etho. Something so small and inconspicuous that he nearly overlooked it altogether.
Grian never ate first.
It was a subtle thing. Waiting a few moments until everyone else has tried something before taking a bite himself. Accepting food but never actually eating it unless the person who gave it to him ate the same thing before him.
Even when low on health and out of supplies, he would still hesitate before taking the smallest bite of whatever he was offered - it was only then that he would eat it heartily.
He thought he may have been coming to conclusions too quickly, but after testing it himself (offering him and a few others carrots after an exhausting pig-in-boat experiment) and noting similar results (Grian glancing at the others as they ate happily before finally eating himself), Etho knew he definitely wasn’t imagining things.
Honestly? He didn’t know how to feel about all this. These observations - the hypervigilance, the subtlety, the wariness towards accepting things from friends - were very concerning all together.
Etho was worried. He wasn’t certain what to do here.
He didn’t want to pry in Grian’s personal life or past, but he also knew that something was wrong here. Grian clearly loved the hermits as much as they loved him, but he was starting to doubt if the builder actually felt, well, safe with them.
Should I talk to him about it?
How exactly would he bring it up, though?
Hey Grian, I realized that I didn’t know as much about you as I thought and wanted to learn more because you’re my friend so I started paying more attention to you and noticed that you seem to be on guard all the time and a few other things and now I’m worried because all this is hinting to something bad like previous trauma and I don’t want to pry or anything but I just want to know if you’re okay.
…
Okay, that’s an information overload. Maybe he should reword that a little bit.
How about-
“Etho.”
Etho blinked hard, before turning towards the owner of the voice. Joel.
The shorter man stared down at his sitting frame with crossed arms and a very judgmental look on his face. He raised a brow, “You’ve been staring at the ground for 15 minutes.”
“Oh,” Etho scratched the back of his head, a sheepish smile hidden behind his mask. “Was I?”
“Yeah, you were.” Joel gave him an impatient look. “Do you know how long I was waiting at my base for you? Only to find you sitting on a chest outside your base having a staring match with the bloody soil.”
Oh right, he promised to help him with his glow squid farm.
He let out an awkward laugh, “Sorry about that, guess I got caught in my own head.”
“What were you thinking about anyways?” Joel asked absentmindedly as he fiddled with a nearby chest latch.
.
Etho looked away, hesitant to answer. Joel paused at the silence, turning back to him.
“Etho?” He asked, concern evident in his tone. “You good, mate?”
Etho looked conflicted, his expression unfamiliar to Joel. His brows furrowed as he stared at his friend.
After a few moments of silence, Etho warily spoke. “Joel, what do you know about Grian?”
The man’s eyes widened in surprise. “Grian?”
Etho nodded with a serious expression.
Joel stared at him for a moment before leaning against some stacked chests besides him. Placing a hand on his chin, he looked up in though. “Hm.. well - for starters -”
He turned to Etho with a grin. “-he’s an absolute menace.”
Etho chuckled at that.
Joel smiled at him before continuing, listing things with his fingers. “He’s a prankster, troublemaker, scaredy cat when it comes to horror movies,” Joel smiled fondly as he continued to reminisce, “he absolutely detests magenta glazed terracotta, has the funniest laughs - and screams..”
Etho stared at him curiously.
Joel’s expression grew softer as he spoke. “He’s very thoughtful, always checking in and doing his best to help. Even with his pranks, he never takes it too far and always asks to make sure he doesn’t upset anyone. When he and I blew up XB’s starter base to get my red name kill, he ensured that everything was rebuilt perfectly and even gave X a little something for the trouble.”
“In addition to that, he doesn’t lie to you. If he doesn’t like something, he tells you. I like his honesty a lot, actually. He’s nice about it too, not just blurting things out.” Joel turned at him, smiling. “He’s kind of like you in that sense. Doesn’t give compliments unless he truly means it.”
Turning away again, he continued, frowning slightly. “He.. he’s quite hard on himself. I mean, most of us are, but Grian especially. He gets this really depressed look with guilty eyes and stuff and…” Joel’s frown deepened. “..sometimes they’re filled with hate, which is especially worrying. His eyes are never filled with hate or resentment or anything like that towards anyone, but when it comes to himself..” Joel sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’ve been trying to get him to stop being that critical of himself, but it’s hard, y’know? Heck, somehow he’s convinced himself that-”
Joel paused, turning to Etho again. This time, however, his expression was serious.
“Etho,” Etho’s eyes widened. He’s never heard Joel’s voice be so solemn. “Before I continue, I need to know why you’re asking. This-, this is getting a bit personal and I don’t want to say anything more unless it’s important.” He looked down, face filled with shame. “I don’t want to reveal more about him like this. It feels wrong, you know, to talk about someone so personally when they aren’t here.”
Etho nodded seriously. “I know, you don’t have to say anything more. I don’t want to go into private things about Grian unless it’s coming from him. It’s just..”
“‘It’s just’?” Joel repeated curiously.
And so, Etho recounted everything to Joel. As the shorter listened, his face grew more and more concerned.
“That’s..” Joel plopped down next to Etho, slouching forward as he clutched his head. “- that’s just-”
“Yeah.” Etho sighed, leaning back in resignation. “I have no clue what to do now.”
Joel stared at the ground, expression tense. “Knowing this now, Etho - it’s hinting at something really bad.”
“I know,” He stared at the sky. “That’s why I was wondering what you knew about him, or more specifically, his past.”
Joel was silent for a while, before letting go of his head and staring at the sunset (Oh snap, how long have they been talking?) , “I don’t know much about his life or childhood, really. I mean, like you, I only heard about the doctorate recently.”
Etho hummed in agreement.
Joel glanced at him before turning back to the horizon.
Silence.
“What I was going to say earlier,” Joel began seriously, “was that Grian.. he doesn’t think he deserves to be loved.”
.
.
“Oh.”
“Yeah..”
“That’s not-”
“I know, it’s not true at all! It’s so very much the opposite and yet-” He clenched the fist tightly, trying to control his frustration. “-he still thinks so. Do you wanna know how I found out about it?”
Etho stared at him.
Joel turned to him with wide eyes. “It was after we managed to do that triple kill during one of the life games. I was so ecstatic I just hugged him without thinking. I caught myself, you know, as everyone here understands that Grian isn’t a touchy person-” Joel let out a small hysterical laugh, leaning back and slapping his forehead. “- so imagine my surprise when he gives me the happiest, most blinding smile I’ve ever seen. He was beaming, Etho, beaming!”
His eyes started to water, voice breaking as he spoke. “Turns out he loves it. He absolutely loves hugs. And the reason why none of us thought he did was because the first time someone did it, he didn’t react at all. He was in shock . He, he was baffled by the thought that we wanted to hug him, that it wasn’t a burden for us. Bloody hell, he didn’t even know why we would care about him!”
Joel swallowed harshly, blinking harshly as tears escaped his eyes.. “Sorry, it’s just-, he’s such a great guy and to realize he…”
Etho looked down somberly.
He wiped his face roughly before continuing, eyes fixed on the floor. “That’s why I’ve been trying to show him how much I care, you know. Been trying to hug him more and remind him not to be so hard on himself. It’s just.. I didn’t realize how deep this went until you told me about what you noticed.” His face tightened, clenching his fist again.
“With all this, it’s clear that he’s gone through something terrible in the past. Something that really harmed him.”
“Yeah.” Etho nodded seriously, looking over at Joel. “The question now, though, is what we do with this information.”
Joel glanced at him. He continued. “It’s clear that this should be addressed. I don’t want to invade his privacy, but I.. I don’t want my friend to feel unsafe or unloved, especially when everyone here adores him so much.”
“I just-” Etho’s voice grew quiet. “-don’t know how to do this.”
Joel stared at him for a moment, before looking away.
“Well.. let’s think of something together, then.” Etho blinked before turning to Joel, who had a small smile on his face.. “You don’t have to do this alone, you washed up coot.”
Etho stared at him for a moment, before smiling. “Guess not.”
The two turned towards the sunset, eyes filled with renewed motivation.
“What did you have in mind?”