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Yoongi had been in love for a lifetime. Being in love with Hoseok came as natural as breathing. Loving Hoseok was easy, as easy as tying up his shoes or playing piano to a melody he knew by heart. Loving Hoseok was like loving life itself. Loving Hoseok was like doing something he was fated to do. He loved Hoseok so much it was already in his veins, in his dna. Loving Hoseok was so easy it didn’t matter Hoseok didn’t love him back.
Learning to love Jeongguk was like learning to love thunderstorms. He knew since the moment they met he liked Jeongguk but getting to love him was like loving something wild. If the love Yoongi felt for Hoseok was calm and steady and easy, loving Jeongguk was everything but that. The love he felt for Jeongguk was an indomitable force, something that pulled his heartstrings and made him feel brave. Brave enough to be vulnerable for once. Learning to love Jeongguk was learning to love getting caught in the rain, just so they could slow dance under it. Learning to love really bad songs Jeongguk would play on the stereo and even learning the lyrics to those horrible songs just so they could scream them out loud while being silly. Learning to love Jeongguk felt a little like learning to love himself, too.
Yoongi and Jeongguk had been dating for a little less than a year when Hoseok came back. It didn’t come as a surprise, Yoongi knew his best friend was coming back from the States but that didn’t mean he was prepared to see him again.
He was the one picking him up from the airport and during the ride there he couldn’t help but think how much things had changed. How much he had changed. How much Hoseok would have changed. It’s not that they didn’t talk at all, it was the different time zones, and their jobs, and their studies and also, Jeongguk. When Yoongi started to date Jeongguk, he decided to make him a priority in his life and if that meant having to cancel a Skype call with Hoseok because Jeongguk needed him then, he had no regrets. So it wasn’t as if they hadn’t tried enough, just life got kind of inbetween.
Yoongi wasn’t going to lie to himself. He, after all, was still in love with Hoseok and hell, probably he will always be kind of in love with him but he was his best friend and even if he felt scared (because being able to forget about his romantic feelings for so long was nice) he was giddy as well. He had missed his best friend so much it was like missing half of himself.
It was just kind of problematic that he had to arrive in the middle of the night. Something didn’t sit right with Yoongi when he had to get out of the comfiness of his bed and leave Jeongguk peacefully sleeping behind. More devastating than that was the little whine Jeongguk left out when he didn’t find Yoongi to snuggle up with. He certainly became even more cuddly when asleep, Yoongi thought, a sneaky fond smile spreading on his face.
By the time Yoongi was waiting for Hoseok at the airport, he didn’t have nails left to bite on and if he had kept up the rate, his lips would have started to bleed soon. However, all his worries and doubts and all the anxiety that had been burning low on his stomach, his bitten raw nails and damaged lips, were all meaningless. Because it was Hoseok. And there was nothing as familiar as him.
Seeing him again felt like one of those movie scenes where the love interest comes out of the airport gates, looking perfectly put together even after hours of flying. Hoseok looked anything but put together, though. He looked like a mess and a half but that just made everything more real, it resembled more the boy he used to know. Yoongi would lie if he said he didn’t feel like crying. It was exhilarating, he felt nostalgic and sad and euphoric at the same time. He didn’t know that was possible for him.
Again, like in a cinematic kind of universe, Hoseok lifted his gaze and their eyes met and Yoongi, he swore, time stopped. Like the Earth stopped on its tracks, who knows for how long, prolonging that moment in slow motion. Yoongi pulled by some sort of misguided instinct, smiled, and the smile he got in return made the Earth spin again. Hoseok smiled and god, had he missed that smile. Yoongi couldn’t say any longer that it was his favourite but being able to see it again after almost a year without meeting his best friend in person woke something up inside of him. Like a tiny fire that had been dormant and now was burning warm. And while Yoongi thought feeling all that again after so many months would scare him off, instead he welcomed that flame. ‘Ah, there you are’ He thought, as if there was nothing to worry about. And for the first time, it felt nice.
As soon as he got into bed he searched for a body he knew well. He pulled him close, back pressed to his chest, even when Jeongguk was just that bit wider than him, and left a searing kiss where his neck met his shoulder. Jeongguk made a tiny hum of contentment and Yoongi felt so warm. He hid a tiny smile, pressed into the other’s shoulder, and let out a deep breath. If he had him, he didn’t need anything else. He loved Jeongguk so much sometimes he felt his heart was too weak to carry the weight of it.