Work Text:
The wild rune is lurking over Jayce. Like a predator about to jump on its prey, like a monster about to unleash its fury. But he is the one who created the monster.
“What have we done ?”
The monster closes its fangs and swallows him whole. He is dragged into a whirlwind of lights and colors. He is falling. He can’t breathe. His body crushes and expands at the same time. Is this how he dies ? It would be fitting, poetic, almost. Killed by the very thing he created.
He screams.
His eyes snap open as he gasps awake. He tries to take a breath, to make sense of what happened, of where he ended up.
He is… on a bed. In a room he has never seen before. It’s smaller than his own room at Piltover, but cozier. It feels warm.
“Another nightmare, huh ?” someone whispers and Jayce startles.
He knows this voice.
No.
It can’t be.
He turns his head as slowly as he can, afraid moving too fast would break the charm, the illusion, or whatever that is. Afraid he would only be faced with emptiness and his own solitude. Solitude that filled his heart ever since Viktor left.
But Viktor is here. On the other side of the bed. Looking at him with a worried and oh so tender gaze. He hasn’t disappeared, hasn’t vanished out of thin air. He is here. He really is.
And Jayce laughs, for the first time in what feels like forever. The wild runes, the newly discovered dangers of hextech, none of that matter anymore. All that matters is that Viktor is here, and he is alright, and he is safe.
Jayce jumps in his arms and engulfs him into a hug. Viktors wraps his arms around his back, holds him tight. And Jayce breaks into sobs. Because he thought he lost Viktor, he thought he lost him for good. He walked away, told him it was over, that whatever they had, whatever they were, was over. But Viktor is here, in his arms, and he is not pushing him away. Instead, he is whispering comforting words in his ear, gently stroking his back as if he had already done it a dozen times.
“It’s alright. Whatever you saw, it wasn’t real, not anymore. I’m here. We’re both here. It’s alright.”
Jayce takes a deep, shaky breath before breaking the hug. He keeps his hands on Vitkor’s shoulders, takes a moment to admire his beautiful face. “Don’t you ever leave me again.”
Viktor smiles. And oh, Jayce has missed this smile. “I’m not going anywhere.”
And Jayce laughs again. Because it feels so good. Too good. Way too good to be true.
His arms fall to his sides. “I get it. This is a dream.”
And really, he shouldn’t be surprised. Of course this can’t be real. Of course he is just hallucinating. The Viktor in front of him is not the one that left him. He is missing the scars from the explosion, the marks the hexcore left on his body. And his eyes… They are the beautiful amber eyes that mesmerize him every time he gets lost in his gaze. Those amber eyes that looked at him with exasperation, amusement, concern, fondness… Not the cold grey eyes who stared at him without the hint of an emotion as he said goodbye. This is his Viktor, before the world shattered, before he was forced to choose between keeping the promise he made to the man he loved and let him die in his arms or throw away that promise, their dreams and everything they worked for to save him. He didn’t realize it, back then, but both choices led to losing Viktor.
This Viktor, the one who looks at him with affection , is gone. He doesn’t exist anymore. Jayce killed him. In a desperate attempt to save his friend’s life. He had to. Or, at least, that’s what he told himself not to go insane.
“You’re a dream,” he tells the Viktor who can’t be real.
Viktor - the dream - chuckles. “That’s a nice compliment. But I can assure you, I’m feeling very real.”
And he sounds so much like him, so much like his Viktor, that Jayce gives up. If this is a dream, he doesn’t care. Real life is full of shit, anyway. Better stay here as long as he can before he awakes to another world in ruins. If the universe can grant him this small mercy, a little bit of peace before the chaos, a little bit of heaven before all hell breaks loose, then he will take it.
He doesn’t deserve it. He knows. But it doesn’t matter. He is grateful for it anyway.
And then, he notices it. The silver ring, glinting at Viktor’s left hand.
“Never took you for the marriage type,” he finds himself saying. It’s so easy to fall back into their old habits, teasing each other, laughing together…. He didn’t realize how much he missed it, all of it, all of Viktor.
It’s so easy to pretend this is real. Jayce wishes it was.
Viktor rolls his eyes, the way he does when he wants to pretend he is exasperated but is actually amused. “What can I say ? You convinced me.”
Jayce’s heart misses a beat. Or rather two. Or five.
His eyes fall to his own left hand where a similar ring sits.
His brain takes a moment to catch up on this revelation. God, he married Viktor. He can’t help but smile blissfully. He is definitely starting to like this dream.
“Not that I’d dislike spending the day in bed with you, but we promised we would take a look at the young inventors’ projects and help them if needed,” Viktor says.
Jayce blinks. “The young inventors ?”
Viktor sighs. “Don’t tell me you forgot. You were so excited at the thought of meeting them again. And I promised I would show you the places where I grew up.”
The places where Viktor grew up ? That’s in Zaun. They’re going to Zaun, and Viktor is talking about it like it’s nothing, like they do it often, like Jayce is excited to go. This is definitely a dream.
“Oh, no, I didn't forget,” Jayce lies. “How could I ?”
Viktor frowns, looking worried. “Are you sure you’re alright ? We can stay if you need to rest. We could go another day.”
The thought of spending all the little time he has before he wakes up with Viktor and only Viktor sounds absolutely perfect. But dream or not, he doesn’t want to be a burden for his partner. He already has plans, and Jayce is not going to make him cancel them just for him.
“Viktor, I haven’t felt this fine in a long time,” he says, and it’s true. “Let’s go.”
He gets up and hears the floor creak under his feet. This dream sure feels very real.
Viktor gets up too, slowly, hands against the mattress to push himself up. Before he has the time to think, Jayce is at his side, helping him. His body moves without him thinking it through, knowing exactly what to do to support Viktor, a muscle memory that isn’t his, or maybe that is his in another life. With the care of someone who has done it a hundred times before, he helps him sit in a wheelchair, his wheelchair. Viktor thanks him with a nod.
Jayce wouldn’t mind doing it a thousand times. Holding his partner’s body against his side, feeling his skin brush against his, feeling all the trust Viktor has in him.
Following Viktor, he enters what he guesses is both their living room and laboratory. There are gears and tools scattered everywhere, plenty of prototypes of devices, some he doesn’t recognize, and some he recognizes as devices he imagined, so many years ago, but that never passed the concept stage. He doesn’t know if the walls are made of real slate or if they were just painted with slate paint, but every centimeter of them is covered in equations and diagrams. There are multiple plans open on the counter. He notices one that looks like Viktor’s wheelchair, as well as some that seem like the first hextech devices they designed, to help the workers of the undercity. Except that it’s missing the hextech part. Actually, none of all the things he sees in this room seem to use hextech.
“Are we not working on hextech anymore ?”
Viktor frowns. He seems worried again, but more this time. “Jayce, you stopped working on the arcane years ago.”
Is this a dream of the future ? What their future would have looked like if he had given up on hextech from the beginning ? That’s… nice. Not realistic at all, of course. Viktor would never have stuck to his side if they hadn’t invented hextech together. He is the greatest mind in this world, he would have found another way to change the world, not letting Jayce hold him back.
His ears begin to ring. His heart is pounding in his chest. What is happening ? Is he waking up ? No ! He can’t wake up. Not now. Not yet.
It feels like someone is bashing his skull with a hammer. It comes from inside. Like something is so desperate to get out, to explode. Jayce doesn’t know why but it feels like it should definitely not get out.
There is a hand on his back. Viktor. He is still here.
“Jayce ?” His voice is so soft Jayce feels like he could cry. “I know I told you a million times, but I will tell you this once more : it wasn’t your fault. I hope you can forgive yourself one day.”
What ?
And just like that, the thing in his head breaks free.
He is walking to his flat, Caitlyn is following him, holding a few of his boxes. He grabs the doorknob, turns the key in the lock. The door doesn’t open. There is someone in his flat. He hits the door with his shoulder. It still refuses to open. And suddenly, the world explodes.
He opens his eyes, and there are glints of blue swirling all around. He searches Cait, finds her standing behind him. She looks unharmed, but her eyes are filled with horror as she stares at something. He turns his head, follows her gaze, and his heart stops.
There is a little girl with blue hair sobbing desperately, holding in her arms the stiff body of a teenage girl with pink hair. The kid is crying a name, her small body shaking with every sob.
“Please Vi, don’t leave me.”
He gasps. He can feel Viktor’s hand on his back. He is back in the flat, their flat, not the one that exploded.
What the fuck just happened ?
Was this real ? It felt real. Like a memory.
Does that mean Vi… she’s… no ! He remembers her being very much alive a few days earlier, when they fought together at the memorial. And it was years after she broke into his apartment.
This is just part of the dream. No, this isn’t right. This can’t be a dream. Vi wouldn’t be dead. If he was getting everything he wanted, she would be there, hanging out with Caitlyn and messing with him.
This can't be a dream. A nightmare, then ? But Viktor’s hand is still there, his touch gentle against his trembling body. He would already be pushing him away if this was a nightmare, or if this was real for what matters.
And yet, it feels so painfully real.
Is it real ? What if this is all real ?
“Jayce, it’s alright. I’m here. We’re home.”
Viktor’s hands are grabbing his, thumbs drawing circles on them. Jayce tries to calm down his breathing. This is a lot to process.
“I’m sorry, I’m such a mess. You shouldn’t have to put up with me.”
He doesn’t know how Viktor is putting up with all this, with him.
He can’t imagine a world where Viktor would have wanted to spend the rest of his life with him, not just as partners in science but in life too. He can’t imagine a world where Viktor would love him back, the way he loves him. Guesses he was wrong, because here he is.
Does that mean there could have been a chance ? For him and for the Viktor of his universe ? Could they have been something, if Jayce had found the courage to ask instead of convincing himself that his partner would never reciprocate his feelings ? Maybe. Maybe Viktor had been his all along, he just had to ask. But he never did. And it’s too late now.
Somehow, this not being a dream makes it all so much more painful. He can live in a world where he knows Viktor would never have loved him back, or at least he thinks he can. He doesn’t think he can live in a world where Viktor could have been his and he could have been Viktor’s, had they tried. Doesn’t think he can live with the excruciating reminder of what could have been but never was because of his cowardice.
At least right now he doesn’t have to. Because the Jayce from this universe, the Jayce he is stealing the place from, had the courage he never had.
“You’re my husband.” Viktor’s voice drags him back to reality. This reality anyway. “I vowed to take care of you. I am not going to break this promise anytime soon.”
Jayce shivers as he hears the word ‘promise’. He wants to tell him not to make promises he can’t keep. But it’s Jayce who breaks his promises, not him.
He lets go of Viktor’s hands and lets himself fall on the floor. He sits up, his back against the side of his partner’s - his husband’s - wheelchair. Viktor puts a hand on his head and runs his fingers through his hair, gently stroking it. If this is not a dream, then Jayce doesn’t have to wake up. Maybe he can stay there forever. He wishes he could.
“We all have bad days, Jayce.”
He doesn’t know who he is. He knows he is not from there. He is not the Jayce this Viktor fell in love with, the Jayce this Viktor married. And yet, he is pretty sure this is the Viktor he fell in love with, so many years ago.
His memories are fuzzy, old and new reality mixing up.
He remembers rushing to the girl’s side, checking her vitals in the futile hope that it wasn’t too late. He remembers shouting at Caitlyn to find a doctor while knowing it was useless, maybe he was hopeful, maybe he was just trying to get her away from there. He remembers his utter passivity as he was arrested, maybe he was still in shock, maybe he was just broken. He remembers the coldness of his cell, the hours he spent staring at the wall wondering how it could have gone so wrong, realizing he was a murderer now. Hextech was supposed to improve lives, not to take one. He remembers throwing his bracelet away. What was the point now ? He remembers being honest with the council, speaking the truth about his dream of giving magic to the people and how badly it turned out. Heimerdinger was right, magic is dangerous, it always has been. He remembers miraculously escaping a banishment sentence, saved by his mother’s pleas. He didn’t have it in him to feel grateful, or ashamed, he just felt empty. His sentence left a bitter taste in his mouth, he knew if the girl he killed was from the uppercity he would have spent years rotting in a cell.
He remembers going to see the Kiramans, and finding the gate closed. He didn't know what he had expected. Caitlyn was there, and he waited for her to look at him in horror and fear after what he did, what she saw, but there was only sadness in her blue eyes. He remembers Cassandra’s cold as ice gaze as she glared down at him. He remembers going back to the ruins of his flat, the desperate cries of the little girl echoing all around, playing on a loop in his head. He remembers standing at the edge, thinking he would never hurt anyone again, that truly, he was doing the world a favor by getting rid of a murderer. And then, just as he was about to take a step, his very last step, Viktor stopped him.
“Am I interrupting ?”
Viktor came. Evn in this universe, even when Jayce had nothing to offer him, Viktor came. He saved him. Some things never change.
“Why did you come ?” he asks, tilting his head to meet his partner’s eyes. “That night. When everyone else had given up on me.”
Why not you ?
There is a soft sadness in Viktor's eyes as he answers. “I heard you at your trial. You sounded like a man who just saw the dream of a lifetime crumbled down before his own eyes. It sounded like a burden too heavy to carry alone.”
Viktor didn’t give up on him. He never did. He saved him when Jayce didn’t even know his name.
“I don’t deserve you.”
Viktor gives him a half smile. “I think you do.”
Jayce grabs the front handles of the chair and pushes himself up. Leaning over Viktor, he doesn’t have time to realize what he is doing that his lips are pressing against him.
He is kissing him. He is kissing Viktor.
And Viktor is kissing him back.
It’s tender, and slow, and so full of love.
It’s not the first time Viktor kisses Jayce, but it’s the first time Jayce kisses Viktor.
He wishes it could never stop. He wishes he could stay in that moment forever.
In the end, he is the one who breaks the kiss. Viktor smiles fondly at him, and he smiles back.
“So ! Didn’t you say we had some inventors to meet ?”
Viktor raises an eyebrow. “You know, if you’re not feeling alright, we can -”
Jayce cuts him off. He is not going to stay here all day moping about all the ways his life could have been had he had the chance to start over. Not when he has a second chance. A chance to make this right.
Maybe this is his second chance. Maybe the universe granted them that, after everything they’ve been through. A second chance. Another life, by each other’s side. And maybe, this time, Jayce wouldn’t screw it up.
“We have to go ! What would the kids do without the precious inputs of the two most brilliant scientists in this city ?”
Viktor chuckles. “Well, I’m sure Powder would be upset not to have you to mess with.”
Jayce smiles. “See ! Can’t let them down.”
Viktor smiles back and rolls to the door. Jayce follows him, wondering what this new life has in store for him, for them.
He is going to make the most out of this second chance, he vows to himself. And that’s a promise he is not planning to break.