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It was cold and snowy out. The type that made you wanna stay in and cuddle up beside a fireplace or beneath a blanket with the heater blasting with a good movie and a cup of hot chocolate.
"Birdie, hand me another ornament, please!"
"On it, dad!"
"The cookies look great, sis!"
"Yeah, no thanks to you trying to eat the frosting."
The house was abuzz with Christmas cheer. Songbird was helping Thorne, Philo, and Lola with the tree, and Michelle(the daughter, not the mom), was decorating a Gingerbread house with Muriel, Campbell, and her cousins. Michelle(the mom, not the daughter) was upstairs helping Nicole wrap presents away from peeping eyes. Jill had baked and decorated gingerbread cookies. Garrett was of some help, aside from trying to eat the frosting and sneaking a cookie.
"Ah," She warned, tapping his hand with a spoon. "No. Bad Garrett. Wait till they're done."
Garrett pouted, rubbing where she hit. "You're no fun."
"Uncle Garrett!" The little voice of Jill's daughter, Grainne called out as she pitter-pattered into the kitchen. Garrett turned to her.
"Yeah, kiddo?" He asked, leaning down to her height.
"I wanna play the spooky scary Chuck-E-Cheese game!" She chirped. "The one you and Uncle Thorne n Philo like to play!"
"Uh-you sure?" He quizzed. "I dunno if your mama's gonna wanna let you play that-"
"I'm a hundred, a thousand, a million percent sure!" She assured. "You said you'd help me get past the scary wolf lady! Besides, mama used to let me watch her play the exploding zombies game!"
"Well, if you say so," He agreed, picking her up and setting her on his shoulder. "Let's get past the scary wolf lady!"
"Yay!" She cheered. Her set her down on the couch and set up the game for them to play. Songbird hopped over the couch to join them.
"Don't worry, cous. I beat this game three times," They grinned, grabbing a controller.
Before they could begin, an eerie knocking came to the door. All activity stopped, even the music paused. Everyone looked toward the door in horror. Philo crept to the door, hand covering the knob. He put a finger to his lips, and swung the door open!
Thankfully, it was only his parents, who had come bearing gifts in the form of food.
"Oh, thank the gods," He sighed. "It's just you!"
"Did we scare you?" Aisling chuckled.
"Yeah, you almost gave us a heart attack," Garrett pointed out.
"Come in!" Philo chirped. Aisling and Absalom entered. The cheery mood continued as usual. Until the banging came again. Thinking it was nothing, Philo went to the door to answer.
"Maybe it's carolers this time," He thought as he opened the door. His face paled at seeing two horrifyingly familiar faces. "YOU?!"
Virginia scoffed and pushed him out of the way. She scowled at everyone, even Grainne who hid behind the couch.
"Oh, don't act so glum," She quipped. "You should be glad to see me."
"No one is glad to see someone we wouldn't want to touch with a 39 and a half foot pole," Garrett sassed.
"Hm. Where is that useless grandson and daughter of-"
"Bitch, we told you last time," Jill snapped. "You're going to respect the people in this house or you leave."
"Or Lola will stair-tackle you again," Garrett added.
"What is all the-" Thorne paused upon seeing them, face going pale. He remembered his last encounters with them last time, and how he came on top instead of them. Now, he had no reason to fear.
"You want em out, Thorne?" Garrett asked. "You don't have to deal with them, not with us here."
"Nah, let em stay," He insisted.
"WHAT?!" Everyone said in shock.
"Thorne-I love you, but you can not be serious," Philo perplexed. "I mean-she's been horrible to you and your family! She is a total and complete-"
"Bitch!" Grainne exclaimed. Jill spat out her hot chocolate. Songbird laughed.
"They're not doing much right now. Once they cause problems, then they leave," He compromised.
"If you say so, love," He agreed, kissing his cheek.
The day went on, and more snow fell. Virginia spent half the entire day talking bad on the family. How Jill should raise her kids, how "bad" a father Garrett was for letting Songbird have different pronouns, even judging Aisling's singing. The last straw was when Thorne heard what she said about his children.
The little ones bundled up in coats and gloves before going out. Aisling watched over them as they played. Of course, Virginia had something mean to say about them.
"Back in my day, we'd have to shovel it all," She told. "We'd get a lashing for each pile we didn't shovel. Maybe we should bring that back."
"Excuse me?" Aisling inquired. "They're children. They should be able to be children."
"Brats are what they are," She scoffed. "My grandson's especially."
Thorne's parental instincts went off. He knew something was up, and went to check it out.
"How could you say that?!" Aisling demanded. "They are very well behaved, and Thorne is a wonderful father, no thanks to you. He, my son, and Garrett are doing fine, and you do not get to interfere with that!"
"And why shouldn't I?" She inquired. "I'm only looking out for Selma and Miley-"
"Their names are Songbird and Michelle," She corrected.
"Whatever," She scoffed. "I'm especially worried for the bigger one. Who knows what she might become when she's older? Maybe a hooligan, like her father. Or like his mother. A slu-"
"ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT," He snapped. "OUT OF MY GODS DAMN HOUSE."
Garrett turned at his outburst.
"Thorne-what's wron-"
"I want that old crone out of my house, and I want her gone, NOW," He demanded.
"Well-it's true!" She scoffed. "The sins of the father will always rub off on the-"
She was cut off by one of the kids throwing a snowball at her.
"You don't get to talk about my sister like that!" Michelle lashed, throwing another snowball at her. Soon, all the kids, and even Thorne and Garrett were throwing them at her. She ran off the porch and toward her car. Everyone cheered as she ran.
"I don't need any of you!" She chided. "I still have my fame and fortune, and you're still left in the dust like the peasants you are! The press will hear about thi-
Everyone ignored her ranting, going back inside and enjoying the festivities. Virginia growled and began to stomp off, not noticing the sound of sleigh bells above her.
Hours passed. Outside from the window arose such a clatter, Thorne went and peeked out to see what was the matter. To his surprise, he saw his unbeloved grandmother laying flat on the snow. He dashed out from the door to look. The others followed behind.
"Oh, my gods," Jill gasped.
"YES! FINALLY, THE OLD BITCH IS DEAD!" Thorne cheered. Lola couldn't help but to giggle.
"Ding, dong, the wicked witch is dead," Garrett jokingly sang.
Peter ran out, seeing the scene.
"Virginia!" He gasped, shoving everyone out of the way. He found her at the bottom of the sleigh.
"You monsters!" He accused, jabbing a finger at them. "You allowed my wife to get run over by a sleigh!"
"Yeah, cos she's a bitch," Garrett said. "She was talking shit about the entire family."
"Help me get her!" He demanded, trying to pull her from the sleigh, taking off her arm instead. He screamed in horror.
"Uh...I feel like I should interfere with this-" Muriel unsurely said.
"Allow me," A voice answered. Everyone turned at the sudden heat nearby, seeing a large whirlpool of flame flickering out to reveal Lucifer with Michael, who was much more demonic looking. Kinda like a Tumblr Sexyman.
"We'll take it from here," They spoke. Lucifer took her corpse, Michael took her arm.
"So you're just going to take my wife?!" Peter demanded. "What kind of people are y-"
"Shut that yapper," Lucifer said, turning him to coal, and throwing it to Garrett. "It'll make your fireplace burn brighter. A little Christmas gift from us. Ciao."
They disappeared in a whirlpool of flame.
"So...Gingerbread, anyone?" Jill asked.