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Two weeks before Christmas, Viktor was in the lab helping Jayce decorate late into the night. They both began by untangling strings of colored lights from the boxes that had been collected for the last few weeks. The whole thing had been Jayce’s idea early on; they spent long hours in the lab almost every day, they may as well make things a bit more festive. Viktor thought it was a lovely idea and for those few weeks of early December, they had meticulously came up with design plans. Viktor had found it endearing to see how excited Jayce was about the venture, coming in every other day with a box of lights and a big smile.
Somewhere along the way they had also thought of Hex Boots; maximize walking comfort while also potentially offering gravitational shifts to help with hard to reach places. It could be something for those at work or even the common person at home.
“Be careful,” Viktor said with some mild concern as he watched Jayce lace up the boots. They had decided to take a break from the lights and run a trial on their new invention. Viktor had thought it’d be better to simply throw the boots off of something high to activate them but Jayce had insisted on performing it himself. “It would be rather inconvenient if we both needed to wear leg braces. I suppose it would be romantic though, if we matched?”
“Ha ha,” Jayce said with sarcasm, getting up with a grin and shifting his feet. There was a noticeably blue glue coming from his heels. “They’re comfortable and the gemstones are stable, so they’re safe too. For the record I also don’t plan to break my leg, the set up isn’t even that high.”
Viktor glanced at the makeshift crate staircase they had set up doubtfully. “And what if you hit your head?”
“I’ll be fine,” Jayce insists with a cheery tone, leaning over to press a kiss on Viktor’s cheek. Viktor spots the small gold christmas tree pin on his jacket; he had gotten it for Jayce one morning on their way to the lab. It was a small thing, but Jayce had treated it like it was the most extravagant gift in the world. It’s been about three days and Viktor hadn’t seen him without it.
Viktor watches Jayce observe the structure before he gives an affirming nod to himself. He makes his way over to the structure before looking at Viktor with an excited grin. “Hex boots, first trial!”
Viktor admired his ambition, truly, it was one of those many things that he loved about Jayce. He returned the smile, shaking his head as he grabbed a notebook and pen. He watched Jayce slowly climb the small staircase, keeping his balance. When Viktor saw Jayce turn around at the very top, his back to him, he suddenly did feel nervous.
Jayce held his arms out, stomping a bit harshly before he stepped off. Viktor was half expecting him to fall to the ground but it never came. Instead, Viktor’s eyes widened when he saw Jayce suspended in mid air, swaying a bit like a leaf falling from a tree.
Viktor heard him laughing, “So far so good V!”
“Yes, so far…so good.”
It was almost like the first time they had stabilized the crystals, except now it was isolated to shoes. Viktor wrote the notes down and almost as quick as it happened, the boots started to flicker and Viktor saw sparks.
“Jayce-”
Before Viktor really had any chance to warn him, he saw Jayce falling to the ground with a bang. Almost immediately, Viktor had grabbed his crutch and was heading over to him when he heard the loud groan. Viktor was already next to him by the time Jayce had sat up with a grimace, rubbing the back of his head.
“Are you hurt?” Viktor asked with concern.
“Does a bruised sense of pride count?” Jayce asked, looking up at him with a weak smile. He doesn’t let the silence last long when he sees that Viktor is clearly unamused. “I’m fine Viktor, don’t worry.”
“I told you this would happened,” Viktor said, lightly teasing with him a small smile as he nudged him with his crutch.
“It’s almost as if you maybe wanted this to happen, just so you could say you told me so.” Jayce retorts back, unable to hold back a smile and the laughter that comes not too long after.
Viktor ends up laughing along with him, but it doesn’t take long before he realizes that Jayce looks a bit disappointed. Jayce did have a lot of ambition and even if they were only trials, he always came into things with the hope that they would work on the first run through. Viktor took a step closer, a hand coming up to gently rub his head.
Jayce leaned against the touch, looking up at Viktor with a bit of a defeated expression as he lets out a sigh.
“There will be a trial two, a trial three, maybe even a trial four?” Viktor suggested with gentle enthusiasm, looking down at Jayce with a soft smile.
“Can’t forget a trial five.” Jayce says, a hint of a smile coming to his face.
“Of course not.” Viktor agrees.
It’s a comfortable silence between them both before Jayce starts to take off the boots. When he stands back up, Viktor can see that his socks have dogs with Christmas hats printed on them.
Cute.
“We should finish decorating.” Viktor suggests as he watches Jayce wander off to get his shoes by the desk, “I will get the hex claw and you can get one of the ladders?”
“Sounds like a well thought out plan if I do say so myself.” Jayce said with pride and a renewed sense of enthusiasm.
“Our well thought out plan.” Viktor reminds him with a small smile just as Jayce leans over to kiss him.
After studying the plans and actually setting up the area, they do move fairly quickly.
“We're going to be expected at the Gala.” Jayce had said from his place at the top of the ladder, clipping up the last bit of the light string to the wall. Viktor can hear the disappointment in his voice again even if he’s trying to be enthusiastic about the event, “I would really love for you to be there with me Viktor, we're partners in this.”
Viktor let out an annoyed exhale.
The Christmas Gala like all of the large scale events held at the Academy were for show. Viktor rarely made an appearance and when he did, he had always made sure to be on his worst behavior with the hope they wouldn’t invite him the following year. They didn’t seem to notice or maybe he simply had not been trying hard enough, because he still received invitations.
Jayce convinced him to go last year. Viktor was dressed in Talis house colors and the look of endearment on Jayce’s face almost made the night worthwhile.
Almost.
It didn’t bother him that Jayce was hounded with attention and they didn’t so much pay him a glance. It was the scrutinizing looks that bothered him the most that night, the obvious stares as they stood together and made a clear presentation of their relationship. Viktor also didn’t sit well with the idea that some of the guests had been making a blatant mockery of Jayce; a fake smile when speaking to him and then whispers as soon as he turned away.
Appearances were important to Jayce so Viktor never truly admitted to that truth, he knew it’d hurt him greatly. Instead, he swore to simply push for them to avoid the gala through whatever means necessary.
“Were you told that you were required to go?” Viktor eventually asks as he places the final clip on the string of lights he had been working to put up.
“No.” Jayce replied as he was in the middle of climbing down from the ladder. “But-”
“Then I think we should attend Caitlyn’s party.” Viktor interjected bluntly.
Caitlyn had actually personally brought her their invitations to the lab one night, a small party at her new apartment. Viktor thought it was a deeply personal gesture and he knew she was like family to Jayce, so it would be a hard refusal.
Jayce seemed to be thinking about it for quite some time before he finally replied, “Okay, yeah. We can go to Cait’s party.”
“I quite favor comfort over formal attire so good choice.” Viktor said with a sense of pride as he pulled out another tangled string of lights.
“I liked seeing you in red and gold though Vik.”
“Flattery will get you nowhere Jayce.”
Jayce rolls his eyes with a grin on his face. "Love you too."
They worked for a few more hours before the moment of truth came. Jayce had one end of the plug and Viktor had the other. They shared a look before connecting them together, illuminating the lab in a sea of twinkling colors. Viktor looked at their work with pride, a beautiful job that went according to plan, and Jayce got an arm around his waist.
“Beautiful.” Viktor whispered, working hard to not break this moment.
“Yeah, really beautiful.” Jayce replied, looking back down at him with a bright smile. The loving look in his eyes had said the obvious, beautiful like you.
In that moment, as with every other moment, Viktor saw him. He saw a man who had a big heart with an ambitious mind that could sometimes be his worst enemy time and time again. No matter, he was brilliant and Viktor loved every honest part of him, inside and outside of the lab.
Jayce leaned over, “Merry Hexmas.”
Viktor couldn’t help the laugh as he pulled him closer, “Merry Hexmas Jayce.”
They both shared a tender kiss in their quiet little moment.
With the lab decorated and their project finished, it only meant it was time to go home. Viktor let Jayce handle the process of getting his layers on. At first, Viktor had seen it as a bit odd and maybe a little overbearing. Viktor was not fond of the cold, it brought pain, but he never did layer up as much as Jayce had wanted him to. Along with the many blankets they had stored in one closet of their apartment, Jayce had also bought Viktor a ridiculous amount of winter gear over the time they’ve been together. It took some time but eventually Jayce opened up, telling Viktor about the horrible childhood memory of almost dying in a blizzard with his mother. Ever since that day snow wasn’t the same, winter brought bad thoughts, and he couldn’t stand the idea of someone else being cold.
So Viktor let Jayce do it, he let him do whatever he had to as long it meant that the anxiety was at ease.
Jayce had gotten the jacket on over his sweater when Viktor noticed his hands were shaking.
“Jayce?” He asked gently.
“You need a better jacket.” Jayce says, more to himself. His twitching fingers trace the dark fabric, his brows furrowed with a deep thought. “Even if you layer it, this one doesn’t warm your core well. You need lining on the inside.”
Viktor hummed in acknowledgement before he gently grabbed his hand, interlacing their fingers together. He can feel the nervous twitching in Jayce’s fingers which leads him to grip a bit tighter, his thumb stroking the back of his hand.
“Take it slow,” Viktor said gently with an endearing look. He can almost feel the anxiety radiating off of Jayce and he’s worried this might be building up to something much worse. “There’s no rush.”
“I don’t want you to be cold. Your hands are cold.”
“I’ll be warm soon,” Viktor says calmly, avoiding focus on the jacket. “I have you.”
That seems to get Jayce’s mind off the anxiety, at least for a moment. His eyes flicker up to Viktor, noticeably getting softer before he grabs the gloves. The hat comes next, then the scarf, before finally Jayce is able to get himself prepared.
He grabs Viktor’s hand after a moment and asks hesitantly, “Are you warm?”
“Yes,” Viktor says with reassurance, adjusting the scarf a bit. “Very warm, thank you.”
The words seem to work and they make their journey home. Jayce does ask him the same question a few more times and Viktor gives him the same response, without any judgement or hesitancy in his tone.
Yes.
The days pass them quickly and Viktor can see Jayce is clearly being more effected by the season then he lets on. Viktor doesn’t think he’s been sleeping much, he’s clearly anxious, and the sadness is coming off of him in waves. It’s a bit disheartening to witness because they promised each other early on they would not do this, they were supposed to talk about things. As selfless as Jayce was, he promised Viktor to let him help if something was wrong.
Viktor is considering the talk but only later comes to find out it might be too late for that. Three days before Christmas Eve, started falling and it also happened to be an awful night for Jayce, the unofficial breaking point.
Viktor wakes up at three in the morning. He’s a bit confused about woke him up, the room is still dark and he wasn’t exactly a light sleeper. He expects to feel some part of Jayce on him or hear his snoring but, there’s only silence. He opens his eyes confused for a moment, his hand falling over to Jayce’s side of the bed that just happened to still be warm.
Viktor rubs the sleep from his eyes, a confused frown on his face as he pushes himself up to a seated position. His body is already beginning to throb by the time he throws back the many layers of blankets that Jayce had set up on top of them. He yawns as he reaches for his leg brace on the floor, not putting much thought into securing the straps properly.
Viktor grimaced once more at the chill in the air, cursing under his breath as he grabbed his crutch and pushed himself up to his feet. He tests his weight before he makes sure to grab a blanket, the blue one on the very top of the pile. He puts it around himself before he makes his way out of the bedroom.
He hears quiet crying near the couch and that’s what leads him to see Jayce on the cold floor in his boxers with his knees to his chest. Viktor knows he surely has to be cold and he makes his way over, his heart cracking at the sight of him so sad.
Why did you not talk to me about this?
“You must be cold, Jayce.” He says gently as he drapes the blanket over his shoulders. Jayce hasn’t looked up yet and Viktor can’t help but wonder how many nights this has been happening, how many nights he’s faced this pain alone.
Jayce lifts his head a bit from his the safety of his arms, a vulnerable teary expression on his face as he looks at Viktor.
Viktor can see shame, misery, fear, all of it reflecting back at him as he eases himself to the floor next to Jayce. It takes a moment, his body protesting the movement, but he refuses to leave him down there alone. He can feel him shaking when he gets there, maybe from both the cold and sadness as he grips the blanket a little tighter.
“I didnt-” Jayce’s voice chokes up with a small sob as he covers his eyes, a fresh new wave of emotion coming out of him. Silently, Viktor gently eases him into a hug and just lets him cry.
I didn’t want to wake you up.
Viktor gently rubs his back and he’s not sure how long they’re there for but he can see the sun coming up through the horizon.
“You didn’t have to come down here Viktor.” Jayce eventually mumbles hoarsely, his face still in his shoulder. "You're cold."
Viktor feels Jayce shift, wrapping the blanket around the both of them and it gets Viktor so smile a bit.
“Of course I did,” Viktor says steadily, his hand still gently rubbing his back, “You are more than worth the effort.”
They sit in a comfortable silence for a while, the throbbing pain in his joints a mere after thought at the moment as he continued to comfort Jayce.
“Come back to bed.” Viktor says gently, his hand rubbing his head. “It is much warmer there. You did a wonderful job of making sure of that.”
Jayce nods silently and scrubs at his eyes as he gets up first, “Let me help Viktor.”
As much as Viktor would like to be stubborn, the pain was there and it makes pushing off the ground even harder. Eventually he’s up on his feet, Jayce with a supportive arm around his waist for extra balance. His cheeks are flushed, his eyes are red and Viktor can see that he's emotionally drained.
“You really didn’t have to do that.” Jayce says once more with a guilty expression on his face.
Viktor looks up at him with a smile and steadily manages, “I won’t leave you alone, Jayce.”
They make it back to their warm sanctuary in the bed. Viktor takes off the leg brace before climbing under the nest of blankets once more, taking Jayce in his arms. He feels his breath hitch as he hid his face against his shoulder. Viktor begins to resume rubbing his head gently, his eyes closing from the approaching exhaustion.
“I’m sorry.” He heard Jayce eventually mutter against him and Viktor hates how guilty he still sounds. “I didn’t want you to have to deal with this Viktor.”
“You should have told me,” Viktor said gently and he wasn’t upset. It only made him remember ever single time that Jayce had dropped everything to help him with pain or his needs. Viktor can’t remember the last time he asked him to do anything in return. “You always give so much to those around you and yet you expect nothing. You choose to carry your pain alone but you should not have to do that, not when I’m here. So allow me to carry this with you, please. ”
As partners. As lovers.
Jayce was quiet for a long period of time before he gave Viktor a light squeeze as he whispered, “I know…I know I promised you. I’ll be honest more, I swear.”
Jayce pulls back a bit to meet his eyes with the same vulnerable expression, almost to make sure Viktor believes him.
Viktor gives him a soft smile as he whispers back, “That is all I ask of you.”
He lightly presses a kiss to Jayce’s forehead before drawing him close again once more.
They wake up later than usual but Viktor doesn’t mind it. As much as Viktor would love to be in the lab right now, his priorities have shifted a bit to Jayce. He stays in bed with him most of the day until they both get hungry.
“I think we should not go to the party or anywhere at all.” Viktor says during their late breakfast and it earns a confused look from Jayce.
“But, we told Caitlyn we’d be there. Is this about last night? Because I’m fine.” Jayce asks, a hint of annoyance in his tone.
Viktor could just tell Jayce was exhausted, his emotional despair had clearly gotten to him. He paid no mind to Jayce’s tone as he calmly replied, “I will not stand by and do nothing as you let yourself suffer. Will you let me take care of things? No parties and yes, no lab. Just us for Christmas.”
Jayce looked surprised but eventually the soft look came back to his hazel eyes as he eventually agreed, “Okay. Just us.”
“Wonderful. Just rest, I’ll take care of things while you rest.”
Viktor didn’t have much time within those last couple of days before Christmas but he wanted to give Jayce something memorable. He picked up the sweaters Jayce had ordered for the party. He had also worked tirelessly into the night to create the contraption that was important for this plan to work. Viktor of course made sure to also take care of Jayce at every other moment as promised and thankfully Jayce accepted the boundaries of his planned surprise. He rested and he talked with Viktor when things felt wrong.
When it came time to Christmas, Viktor unboxes the sweater. It was red and gold with a prints of snowflakes, reindeers, and christmas trees plastered all of it. Viktor thought it was atrocious but at the same time, he loved it with his whole heart. He tugged it on and prayed this surprise, his presentation day to Jayce, would go as he hoped.
Viktor woke him up with a kiss and Jayce was surprised to see him, blinking sleepily as he yawned. “You’re up early. Is that…”
He looked at the sweater and Viktor nodded, handing over the box he had set aside on the side table.
Jayce sat up to look at the box, running a hand through his messy hair. Viktor was already on his way out of the room as he gestured to the sweater, “Get dressed and come out here. I have something to show you.”
As Viktor stepped out to the living room, he pushed the button on the small machine he had crafted. It thankfully started and as planned, the white paper snowflakes began to fly into the air of their home. The mess would be a future problem, what was important now was giving Jayce a good memory in the cold. The cold could be harsh, it could be cruel, but it could also be beautiful.
It took Jayce a moment before he came out with the sweater and a pair of sweats. When he saw the scene, an artificial winter wonderland, his eyes went wide.
Viktor held out his hands with a proud smile, “Merry Hexmas.”
In Viktor’s mind there were a lot of ways this could have played out. Jayce breaking down in tears, sobbing, had not been one of them. Viktor stood there, his heart in the pit of his stomach as he suddenly felt as if this was a big mistake. The room was warm and while it wasn't real snow, it still looked like snow. An innocent gesture suddenly felt like a nightmare, did he make it worse?
“Jayce?” He asked with concern, immediately moving to stop the machine before he was caught up in a hug. It took him by surprise and Viktor looked up at him confused. Jayce was still teary eyed but he was…laughing?
He seemed truly happy, looking up at the paper falling on top of him, pieces of white getting in both of their hair.
“You really did all of this for me?” Jayce asked, swiping at the tears in his eyes.
Viktor nodded with a soft look, “I wanted you to have a warm memory of the cold.”
He shrugged sheepishly and Jayce had a shining smile on his face, a smile full of light, as he leaned over for a gentle kiss. Jayce eventually pulls away, his forehead resting against his.
“Thank you.” Jayce says with a whisper full of love. “This is..it’s everything. I love you so much Viktor.”
“I love you too.” Viktor replied with a smile.
They’ve had Christmas in the past and they would have many more in the future, but Viktor knew this one would be one to remember for a lifetime.