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And the roses die and bloom
and I'm dreaming in my room
that you and I fell into the sky
and went dancing on the Moon
-"On the Moon", AA Bondy
***
Only the elite of the elite can visit the Moon and walk on the footsteps of the Diamonds. It’s a known fact.
Pearls sure aren’t the elite of the elite, but they have the privilege to visit the lowest floor of the base while the Diamonds discuss about vital information – the Earth, the Rebellion, Rose Quartz, the Renegade.
Nobody else is allowed to attend the meetings. What they’re debating about could change the course of the war and must stay a secret.
Many things stay a secret, up on the Moon.
Yellow Pearl leans against the wall, next to Yellow Diamond’s portrait, and sighs. Blue, hands behind her back, playfully balances herself on toe and heel.
«They’ve been up there for eternity» Yellow huffs. «Why is it taking so long? I bet Yellow Diamond will find a way to blame me for all the calls she’s missing».
She looks at Blue. She’s smiling quietly.
«Aren’t you bored?» she asks.
Blue shakes her head, her mouth opens up a little as if she wants to laugh. Yellow huffs again.
«Well, you’re used to do nothing, after all» she replies, crossing her arms on her chest. It’s meant to come out rude, but she can’t hide a hint of kindness in her voice and Blue doesn’t miss it.
Yellow stretches herself against the wall. Blue wanders around, hopping a little, quiet and calm. She looks at the portraits and at the stairs.
She eyes Yellow from time to time, finding out she’s always looking at her, and covers her smile with one hand.
There is a small variety of buttons on one of the walls. Blue knows that one will open the door, which she doesn’t want. Unaware of what the other will do, she pushes it.
For a while nothing happens and Blue is almost brought to believe it is out of order. Then, a soft music suddenly fills the room, coming from speakers at the corners of the hall.
Yellow jumps.
«Turn it off!» she exclaims. «What if the Diamonds hear us?»
Blue probably considers it extremely improbable, or she just really doesn’t care, because she doesn’t listen to her. She claps her hands, smiling widely, dancing across the room following the warm and gentle tune of the music.
«I’m serious!» Yellow calls her. «The Diamonds are already nervous, if we disturb them they will take it out on us!»
Blue doesn’t listen and Yellow snorts. She moves away from the wall and walks towards the button, intentioned to stop the music, but Blue catches her half way and holds her shoulders. She tilts her head, she smiles, she silently begs her.
Yellow bites her lip, looks away, looks again.
«Alright, fine» she gives up. «But this is going to be your fault».
Blue’s smile widens and she jumps, cheerful, before letting her go and going back to twirl and dance around the room. Yellow sighs and shakes her head, leaning again against the wall, resigned.
Blue moves smoothly at the music’s gentle rhythm, her skirt flutters. She looks so calm, so genuinely happy just to be dancing, to do something because she likes it, Yellow can’t help but stare.
Blue notices, again, and opens her mouth in a wide smile as she just had the most brilliant idea. She reaches her and takes Yellow’s hands between hers, dragging her away from the wall.
«Oh no, no» Yellow replies, but she isn’t really making great efforts to pull away. «If you want to dance, that’ fine, just leave me out of it».
Blue still doesn’t listen and Yellow thinks about making a dry observation about how she’s mute, not deaf. Then Blue puts one of Yellow’s hands on her own hip and intertwines the fingers of the other hand with hers and Yellow goes silent.
Blue rests her free hand on Yellow’s shoulder and, always smiling and ignoring the shades of orange that have tinted Yellow’s cheeks, guides her in a slow dance.
Yellow follows Blue steps, a bit stiffer, a bit more cautious. Her movements are rigid in contrast with Blue’s smooth moves, but the other doesn’t complain: her own cheeks are flushed, only a little, her mouth is opened and her chest shakes from time to time as she’s silently laughing.
Yellow finds herself smiling and she rolls her eyes.
«The things I do for you, really» she observes.
She doesn’t even notice her moves have gotten softer.
The music keeps playing and they keep twirling, slowly, like the song is guiding them, like there is nobody else upstairs, like they’re the only two living beings on the surface of the Moon.
Blue’s gem glows.
Yellow frowns, but doesn’t understand what’s happening – what is about to happen – until her own gem suddenly becomes brighter, too.
She pushes Blue away from her with a jolt. Blue struggles to keep standing.
Yellow covers her gem with one hand. She feels exposed, defenseless, completely vulnerable.
«What are you trying to do?!» she accuses.
Blue’s fingers brush against her own gem, twitching a little, feeling dizzy. She bites her lip, blushes, then projects a hologram: it shows two gems, a Ruby and a Sapphire, twirling in the air and becoming someone else.
Yellow’s hands run to her mouth to stop the yelp of surprise. Her eyes widen in shock.
«The Fusion» she murmurs, slowly, as this is something too horrible to be named. «Yellow Diamond spends days ranting about this… Abomination. Blue, this is wrong».
Blue shakes her head.
Yellow grimaces.
«Two gems of different kind who fused for… No reason! It’s wrong!»
Blue shakes her head harder and hugs herself, the hologram disappears.
Yellow massages her temples.
«And you just tried to-» she takes a deep breath, uselessly trying to calm herself. «We are pearls. We are not supposed to fuse, not with each other, not with other gems. Fusion is forbidden to us, and you know it. You know it».
Blue projects the hologram again, tries to explain something, but Yellow runs up to it and makes it disappear waving her hands. She grabs Blue by the shoulders and shakes her a little too hard.
«Why are you always like this? Are you actively trying to get yourself crushed? When you do these things, I-» she sighs. «You’re just like White. I don’t get you».
Yellow can clearly see Blue frowning from behind her bangs. She knows she has pushed the wrong button even before Blue frees herself from her grip and steps back.
She touches her forehead a couple of times.
They do not talk about White.
Yellow bites her lip.
«Listen, I’m telling you for your own good! Why can’t you just accept things as they are? With the war going on, a fusion between pearls is more than enough for the Diamonds to send us both to be broken».
Blue crosses her arms. Yellow feels her stomach twitch.
«Why should we fuse, anyway?»
Blue raises her head, which she has lowered, and Yellow can see her cheeks slightly flushed. She opens her mouth, closes it, sighs.
Yellow feels stupid.
She keeps talking in a desperate attempt to avoid that sensation.
«The fact that you had this idea is wrong by itself» she says. «Fusion out of the battlefield is wrong. Fusion between pearls is wrong. Is it so hard to understand?»
Blue’s hands hold tighter on her arms, she sticks her tongue out and turns around. Yellow frowns.
«I’m dealing with a gem fresh out of the Kindergarten, it seems» she hisses. «Fine. Do what you want, see if I care».
***
In the end, she cares much more than she would ever admit.
She’s not really thinking about it – she has so much work to do, she can barely think at all – but it just happens. She is searching for a file in Yellow Diamond’s archives when she stumbles upon a folder with the title FUSIONS printed in cubital letters over it.
She stops what she’s doing. She looks at it, fingers tingling. She wonders if she should take a look at it.
But no, no, and she shakes her head. What for? She knows what is written in it: fusions are only acceptable in fights and only between gems of the same type. Nobody has ever heard before about a fusion of two different kind of gems, and nobody will ever hear about a fusion of two pearls. Surely not about one Yellow is a part of.
And however, Yellow finds herself imagining it. Sometimes. While she cleans Yellow Diamond’s desk or writes down her meetings on a paper, her thoughts fly away, far away – to Blue, to the Moon – and she imagines.
She remembers how it felt when her gem started glowing. How exposed she felt, like Blue could see everything about her, could know every emotion that passed through her mind. It was a scary sensation, but at the same time, with Blue, it felt incredibly safe.
That was the scariest part.
A fusion between two pearls would be an abomination, of course. A crime. But thinking about something that will never happen is not a crime, it can’t be. Yellow doesn’t want it to be, she convinces herself it’s not.
Would the fusion have hair over her eyes? Maybe one would be covered and the other not. She would wear both a skirt and tight highs, and also Yellow’s shoulder pads. Yellow touches her chest, trying to imagine how it would feel to have another gem right there.
Would the fusion talk? Yellow’s heart skips a beat. Blue would love to be finally able to talk.
She’d be so happy.
And what color would the fusion be? Mixing Yellow and Blue’s palettes, the obvious answer would be green. Yellow grimaces and hopes she’s wrong, because she doesn’t like green very much. She would prefer a faint light blue, or to keep her natural color.
But again, would her desires matter? She has no idea of what fusing feels like. She imagines that both the components are in charge of something inside the fusion, but then she thinks about the hologram Blue has showed her and she isn’t so sure anymore. The Fusion looked completely disoriented, like she didn’t know what to do. Like she had just appeared, right there.
Yellow can’t refrain a little smile.
That must feel wonderful.
To exist without a purpose. Just because.
Maybe their fusion would like green.
But of course – she shakes her head, returns to clean the desk – it doesn’t matter. Pearls can’t fuse. Pearls won’t fuse.
She stops after half a minute, sighs. She brushes her gem with two fingers.
It’s wrong, and she knows, but she thinks of Blue’s face and her smile and how soft her hand felt and she wants it.
The Moon, after all, seems like a safer place than her own mind.
***
Yellow awaits and fears the moment Yellow Diamond and Blue Diamond meet again. The Moon base looks as familiar as foreign.
Blue is already there, Yellow’s cheeks are already orange.
The Diamonds disappear up the stairs. The two pearls are left alone, they don’t talk, they don’t move. Blue rubs her thumb over her wrist. She’s waiting.
Yellow envies Blue’s courage to be curious, to want things. She’s scared, mostly, because Blue reminds her of White and she could not stand her to being chased away, too. The idea of Blue being broken terrifies her, she wishes Blue’s mind could be quiet just as her voice must be.
But then, this is exactly what she likes so much about her.
«So, uhm».
Blue turns around gently. Yellow scratches the back of her head, looking away.
«I just wanted to say that I… I… You see, what I mean is that… Well…»
Yellow sighs.
She has to be brave, too.
«Just wait a minute».
She strides away and Blue slowly follows her, curious, her mouth slightly opened in a confused o. Yellow reaches the wall and pushes the button, letting the same soft music of last time fill the room.
She blushes.
«So, that’s it».
There are so many things she would like to explain, and she wonders how can Blue not explode with all the words she cannot say at all.
But then Blue smiles widely, her face lights up with enthusiasm and joy. She runs up to her, grabs her hands and holds them tight and she doesn’t have to say anything, this it is, they’re connected. No words are needed, and yet Yellow feels like they’re telling each other everything.
Yellow doesn’t need Blue’s hands to guide hers on her hip, or to interlace their fingers. It just feels natural. Blue puts one hand on her shoulder and smiles again, she blushes, Yellow nods.
They dance and the music follows them, cradles them. There are no more walls around them, no more ceiling, no more floor. They’re slowly twirling in the sky, like they just fell into it, like on the Moon the rules are worth nothing and for those moments, right there, they’re just Blue and Yellow and nobody else.
Blue presses herself a little closer. She rests her face on Yellow’s shoulder.
This can’t be wrong.
Blue’s gem glow, so does Yellow’s, and the Moon will keep the secret.