Chapter Text
When Ryder was five, the family next door adopted a four year old white boy with blond hair and blue eyes. Well, adopted is a strong word. He sort of just wandered in, and Kendl begged to keep him.
When Ryder was eight, he had a new best friend. The seven year old boy who was living in the Johnsons’ house. His name was Liam. The pair ‘hung out.’ Ryder wouldn’t say play date. He was too old for that.
When Ryder was ten, he started dealing drugs. Not to Liam, but with Liam. CJ made sure of that. Ryder used Liam as the ‘dumb muscle,’ as he liked to say. Not that the boy was actually dumb, he just liked saying it. He’d put a gun in his hand and make him stand next him during the whole deal. It worked out well.
When Ryder was fourteen, he was getting jealous of Liam. Liam had grown to 6’2” over the summer. Six. Two! Over a couple of months! Ryder was still 5’ despite being the elder of the pair.
When Ryder was sixteen, he realized the ‘jealousy’ wasn’t exactly jealousy. Liam had grown another three inches, of course, and Ryder was now 5’6”. When he looked up at his best friend, he didn’t think “I want to be him.” No, he thought, “I want him.” That was a problem for Ryder. Nobody else in the Grove was gay. No one would want some midget, gay teenager in their gang. So he shoved those feelings down.
Now Ryder is twenty four, and he’s been in love with Liam for eight years. He’s had his share of hookups, but nothing compares to what he wants with Liam. He’s been in love with that piece of shit since he was sixteen, he’s not giving up on it now. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t even know Liam’s sexuality. He doesn’t want to think about the likely possibility that Liam is 100% straight.