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A soft sigh escaped Ookurikara’s lips. Nothing had changed… Shokudaikiri was still laying there in the same place, eyes closed, seemingly sleeping the day away… or maybe you could believe it was sleeping if it weren’t for the fresh bandages that adorned the other man’s body. Yagen had been here already then… or the Saniwa. EIther way, he wasn’t going to get seen by either one of them if he stayed here for a moment, so he moved to sit against the wall, silently watching the other man like a hawk. It was earlier in the day than he would normally stop by, but he had not going to stop by in a bit because he had been out on a recon mission, so he came by to see there was any change the moment he got back and had reported in. He really only waited usually anyway because if he waited until later, there was less of a chance of the Saniwa or Yagen seeing him when they come in to check Shokudaikiri over and giving him a look like they knew something… or Tsurumaru or Taikogane finding out and asking him way too many questions with a playful, teasing grin on their face. Of course… none of them were
wrong about
any of it, as much as he loathed to admit it… he just didn’t want to deal with the aftermath of admitting it, especially not right now… not with the mental image of when Shokudaikiri had returned from his last mission still so fresh in his mind…
Shokudaikiri was the only one from that team that made it back. It was supposed to be a simple mission… but the HRA was expecting them, planned for it… and this time they were a step ahead. Hasebe, Souza, Sayo, Imanotsurugi, and Ishikirimaru… all broken. Gone. Shokudaikiri managed to escape, barely hanging in there himself, his own fractured sword in one hand and the hilt of Hasebe’s in the other, holding it tightly to his chest. He collapsed before he could call for help… but thankfully the Saniwa was right there, having been trying desperately to recall them all, so they managed to get to him quick, got him in for repairs… wore themself completely out trying to save him, to a point that they spent the next couple of days in bed recovering. But even after all of that effort that went into it, Shokudaikiri did not wake. They said they had done what they could… It would all depend on Shokudaikiri’s will whether or not he would be able to wake and all they could do now was wait. Ookurikara hated it. He hated it for so many reasons… but…
He shook the thought from his head with a soft growl, nails digging into his palms as his hands clenched hard enough to turn his knuckles white. No. He didn’t need all of that replaying in his mind again. He didn’t need the what ifs and the internal panic that always set in with it… what he needed was Shokudaikiri to
wake up
so he could stop waking up in a cold sweat shortly after falling asleep because his brain had him convinced he would lose him if he slept for too long. Of course, Shokudaikiri still not being awake and his lack of sleep had made his recon mission absolute hell… and he still felt a little bad for getting so angry with the Saniwa when they told him he was going out. He knew why they did it… they were trying to give him something else to think about, something else to occupy his mind so this would be the watched pot that never boiled… their master was far too observant, adored them all too much to
not
have noticed how attached to Shokudaikiri he had become or how much this had shaken him, even if he tried to hide it and play it off like he wasn’t there to make friends like he always did… but at the time, all he could think of was what if something happened? He couldn’t handle coming back to learn that even after all of this effort and time that Shokudaikiri was just… gone. So in a way… he guessed no change was the second best news he could have gotten. AT least it wasn’t what he feared… at least- Suddenly, a soft knock at the door jarred him from his thoughts.
“Ookurikara?”
His head snapped to the door, hissing softly through his teeth because the sudden movement with him having gotten still decided to remind him of all the traveling he had done the past few days and he was sore. Even without his answering, the door slid open a second later and the Saniwa stepped in, giving him a small smile.
“I thought I might find you here… I was getting worried about you, but when I checked in with the Konnosuke that had accompanied you, I found him in the kitchen bothering Kasen for fried tofu.” They chuckled, walking over to sit near Shokudaikiri, giving Ookurikara his space but never obscuring his view of Shokudaikiri. “I’m glad you are back though… I’ll ask Konnosuke for the details, but… are you alright?”
“I’m fine.” He answered in the same, short tone he usually used… only to huff at himself a second later and let off a sigh. “Tired… sore… but I’m ok…”
“I’m glad that’s all it is… If you find that you can, I’d recommend a bath. The warm water could help. Especially since you didn’t even go get changed…”
He looked down at his travel gear and sighed through his nose… he knew they were right, but…
“I’ll sit here with him until you get back. If something changes, I’ll have someone come get you.”
He looked up at them, studying them for a moment… then looked away again with a soft huff before he got up slowly and walked out the door.
—
The first thing Shokudaikiri noticed as the world around him came back into focus was how much he ached… the second thing was in bed, so he guessed he managed to make it home… the third was the fact that it was so quiet around, but he could hear someone else across the room… and the fourth was the fact that he could feel someone next to him and they were partially clinging to his hand. At first, he assumed it was the Saniwa or maybe Taikogane and he slowly turned his head to look… only to find the Saniwa was who he was hearing across the room, sitting over at a table reading over something. The person next to him had to be Taikogane then, he was sure of it… only to make a small, weak noise of surprise when it wasn’t Taikogane at all. It was Ookurikara, seemingly sound asleep right there at his side.
“He’s been here every night since you’ve gotten back.”
He turned his head to look at his master. “I…”
“He tries to come in later at night so that he doesn’t get seen, but… I’ve accidentally surprised him coming in to check on you in the middle of the night.” They chuckled, putting down what they had been working on to face Shokudaikiri with a teary smile. “Welcome back…”
“Thank you, aruji… I’m… I-I’m sorry I wasn’t able to-”
“No. Stop… I’m just glad you managed to hold out until I could get you back… I didn’t lose
all
of you…” The Saniwa interrupted with a tremble to their voice. “What happened was not your fault any more than it was mine, Shokudaikiri Mitsutada.”
“Hah… full… full name… apologies, Aruji…” He chuckled softly, remembering the man sleeping next to him and looking over… only to frown when he didn’t even budge. “You said… you said he’s been here every night?”
“Every single night for the past three and a half weeks, yes. With the exception of the last four days when I had him out doing recon. but he came back in here pretty much the moment he got back today.” They explained, getting up to come sit beside the still sleeping Ookurikara and brushing a bit of hair from his face. “I came in after I noticed the Konnosuke that went with him was back to check on him, and promised I’d sit with you if he wanted to change and take a bath since he was sore… he ended up falling asleep in the bath. Thankfully, Taroutachi happened to find him and pulled him out before he got too much warmer or slipped into the water too much. We got him dressed in his pants at least and I had Taroutachi bring him back in here. I figured he might actually rest if he was next to you… and I knew if he woke up in his room he would be rather cross with me! I’ve already upset him once during all of this, I’m not trying to do it again, haha!”
That got his brows to pinch in concern. “He’s not rested much then… no wonder he’s not moved… I… Has he eaten at least? I’m sure if you… if you give me a moment, I could-”
“No, no. You will lay down and rest. I will have someone ask someone to make something for the two of you or I will do it myself here in a moment.”
It wasn’t comforting that they didn’t actually answer whether or not Ookurikara had been eating, but he let it go. “If you insist, Aruji.”
“I do. I need you to recover quickly. You are sorely missed around the citadel.” They chuckled. “However, first, as much as I don’t want to wake him. I have a promise to uphold.” They gave Ookurikara a gentle shake, hoping that they weren’t being too rough about it. “Ookurikara? Hey… you need to wake up please, just for a moment…”
At first, Ookurikara just sort of whined in his sleep, moving a bit to hide his face against Shokudaikiri’s arm (which made Shokudaikiri blush a bit)... but then a second later, he seemed to register who was talking to him and snapped away, sitting up with a soft gasp. When did he fall asleep?? Did something happen? Was Shokudaikiri-
“Hey hey hey, its ok, Ookurikara… sorry to wake you, but I did promise I’d tell you if something changed…” They cooed gently, smiling when the man calmed a bit and pointing over towards Shokudaikiri.
Ookurikara blinked and looked over at what was being pointed at, only to go wide eyed when Shokudaikiri smiled tiredly back at him.
“Kara-chan… you-oof!” Whatever he was going to say was cut off by Ookurikara suddenly latching onto him, clinging to him almost desperately. It was so… unlike Ookurikara to do something like that and he had to have the most comical look of surprise on his face too, but the Saniwa chuckled softly as they got up.
“I’m going to go get the two of you something to eat. I’ll be back in a little bit. And don’t worry. I’ll make something that will keep in case the two of you are asleep when I get back.” They said as they left the room, the soft click of the door closing punctuating their departure and leaving a still very shocked Shokudaikiri and very relieved Ookurikara alone.
Shokudaikiri hummed softly… then slowly lifted one arm to put around Ookurikara. If the man didn’t want him to, he’d move or say so. Once he did so though, he noticed that Ookurikara was trembling, still clinging to him as if he might disappear. “Kara-chan…?”
“Don’t…” He half growled without lifting his head, but the way his voice cracked diminished any anger that he had attempted to put into it and he knew that. He clung a little harder and took a slow shaky breath before lifting his head to look at him. “Don’t… you can’t do this again…”
When Ookurikara lifted his head and Shokudaikiri saw the tears in his eyes, he made a small noise of surprise… but he knew better than to argue or draw attention to it. “Apologies, Kara-chan… I’ll try my best not to-”
“No. You…” He glanced away a moment with a frustrated sigh. “You don’t get it… You can’t. I…” The rest of the words were kind of soft and mumbled… and when all he got was a look of confusion, he just hid his face again with a huff. “I can’t lose you…”
That surprised Shokudaikiri a little more… as did the fact that he could feel the heat coming off Ookurikara’s cheeks. Was he… blushing?? He hummed softly and just hugged Ookurikara as tight as he could manage. “I’m sorry, Ookurikara… I didn’t mean to worry you.”
“Mm… don’t do it again…”
“If it’s in my power, I won’t…”
Ookurikara lifted his head again and looked kind of at him, then slightly away. “Swear it…”
“I swear it on my name and the name of our master.” Shokudaikiri answered immediately. He knew Ookurikara knew that there was always a chance things would go wrong and they could break… but maybe that was at least enough for the man to relax a little. Of course it didn’t last long, because he just… had to tease Ookurikara at least a little since there was no one else around. “Though if it gets me a hug again… ow…” He chuckled tiredly when Ookurikara huffed and smacked him in the chest as he sat up.
“... you don’t have to go through so much to get that…”
The laughter stopped near instantly as a blush crossed Shokudaikiri’s face, his gaze roaming over Ookurikara’s features to find any sort of jest… but all he saw was a blush as bright as his was and the fact that Kara wouldn’t look him in the eyes. Maybe he was reading too much into it in his tired, still recovering state… but… on the off chance he wasn’t… “Should I just cook your favorites then once I get back on my feet?”
“No… just ask…” He answered. “Or just… do it if we are alone… whatever…”
That was enough to solidify what Kara meant by what he said and it caused a flutter in his chest. Slowly, he reached over to take Ookurikara’s hand, giving it a squeeze and smiling at him when the man looked back at him finally. “Then can I ask that you stay and rest with me for tonight? If anyone asks we can blame it on me.”
That got a softly, amused huff and a small smirk. “Sada-chan would know… but maybe it would fool Tsuru…” He said, giving a surprisingly gentle kiss to Shokudaikiri’s knuckles before moving to lay down next to him again, draping his arm very carefully over Shokudaikiri. “Wasn’t planning to leave anyway…”
“Mm. You’re probably right… but thank you for being willing to do so anyway. I’ll… I think I’ll sleep better with you here.” Shokudaikiri said softly. He got a soft hum of acknowledgement from Ookurikara, who had gotten just still enough that, with the weight of worry suddenly off his chest, he had started to drift off already. A soft smile came to Shokudaikiri’s face and he just made himself comfortable next to the man, waiting until he was completely asleep before he spoke up again. “You already helped me fight my way home once, Kara-chan… but now… now they’ll need the whole army to break me… I’ll be by your side for as long as you want me here be-” he got cut off by a yawn, humming softly as he leaned his head against Kara and closed his eye again, slowly letting sleep take over as the last few words fell from his lips in a mumble, “because… mm.. cause I love you… ”
By the time that the Saniwa returned, they found the two cuddled up together and sound asleep. A smile crossed their face as they slowly and quietly sat the tray in their hands on the table before slipping right back out so they wouldn’t accidentally wake them. “Good… I’ll just let Yagen know I’ll check Shokudaikiri in the morning and I’ll send Tsurumaru out to the general store with Taikogane… so Ookurikara knows peace for at least a little longer.” They chuckled to themself after the door was shut, heading toward the room shared by the Awataguchi swords. “Hakata won’t be thrilled, but I think he’ll forgive me. Juuust this once.”