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It’s not a courting gift.
Euijoo just wanted to get Nicholas something nice. To celebrate their successful comeback. You know, like friends do. Yeah, it was a collar, which is not… normal, but if Nicholas is being real, there’s a lot of things about his friendship with Euijoo that aren’t exactly normal.
They’re sitting on the couch, in their dorm. Everyone else is either out or in their rooms, and Nicholas has just opened a small black box to reveal his gift.
“Oh my god, I love it.” Nicholas picks the collar up from its box and takes a closer look at it. It’s black leather, with small blunt silver-colored studs across it in a line. Pretty simple, but there’s value in simplicity when it’s well made- which this is, clearly. It’s soft without feeling flimsy, with a small, elegantly curved silver buckle on the back. Nicholas knows this brand, has a different collar from them. They’re not cheap.
Nicholas continues, “This is too much, I can’t-”
“Of course you can.” Euijoo interrupts.
Nicholas pauses, looking back down at the collar. He fidgets with the buckle on the back before asking, “Put it on for me?”
Euijoo nods. Nicholas thinks it’s cute how Euijoo’s scent spikes, even though he looks totally calm. He’s a beta, so he can’t quite smell it as strong as an omega like Nicholas. Most of the time, he doesn’t really bother to control it.
Nicholas hands the collar to Euijoo and turns around. He gingerly places it around Nico’s neck and tightens it into place.
“There’s good?” Euijoo asks.
“Mhm.” Nicholas responds.
Euijoo finishes clasping it. For a moment, he lets his hand linger on the back of his neck. It makes Nicholas shiver.
Nicholas wants to kiss him- but he doesn’t, and even though Nicholas can feel desire thick in the air they don’t fuck either. Because Nicholas isn’t in heat, and they’re not a couple. Their arrangement is one of friendship and convenience, only when necessary. Besides, it's not like collars are only a couple thing. They're are a fashion thing too, especially among younger omegas. Nicholas wears fashion collars, so Euijoo got him one as a gift. Totally not a relationship thing.
They have a magazine photoshoot the next day, and Nicholas wears the collar on the way there. He’s not expecting to wear anything he came in for the shoot, but after he’s changed into the outfit he’s been given, a stylist comes up behind him.
“You know, if you’re okay with it… I think the, ah, collar you came in wearing could actually work very well with this.” The stylist suggests.
“Really?” Nicholas turns, considering what it would look like in the mirror, “Sure, I can try that.”
The stylist turns out to be very correct. She gives him a once-over, adjusts a few things in his outfit, then goes to adjust his collar- before thinking better of it. She brings her hand back abruptly from where it was reaching towards his neck and asks, “May I?”
Nicholas nods. She shifts it slightly further down.
“Ok, yeah- good. Just wanted to double check,” She laughs nervously, “Omegas can be… a little protective, about necks, you know?” She finishes, smiling her way through the awkwardness.
Nicholas shrugs. “Yeah, thanks for asking. I’m not as, like, intense about that as some people can be.” He finishes. He thinks back to Harua, back when he first presented. He’d been so sensitive about his neck. His whole body, really, especially around alphas. He’s better about it now, though. Nicholas was never really like that, to be honest.
“I like it! The collar.” The stylist says.
“Oh, thank you. It was actually a gift fr-”
The door creaks open as Euijoo walks into the room.
“Hi, sorry, I just forgot to check- oh,” Euijoo stops whatever he was doing and looks at Nicholas, what feels like everywhere but his eyes, “Is that… the one I got you?” He asks, referring to the collar.
“Looks good, right?” Nicholas replies.
Euijoo swallows. “Yeah. Really good.”
The stylist looks at Euijoo, then Nicholas, then back to Euijoo again. She clears her throat.
“Well! We’re, um, we’re all done here, so you should go out and join the others.” She says.
Nicholas smiles at her and walks out of the room. He feels Euijoo’s eyes on him all the way up until he shuts the door.
The shoot, in general, is nice. Nothing out of the ordinary. They’re playing good music and that’s always fun, helps Nicholas really get into the correct mood he's going for. They do their individual photos, then some group ones, and a few other combinations of members. Nicholas and Euijoo get paired together. It’s not a surprise, they’re a very popular duo among fans.
It’s usually not this awkward, but Euijoo still won’t look Nicholas in the eye. Nicholas hopes it’s just worse because he knows Euijoo, knows his body language, and the photos will still be fine. It’s just… different. More stilted than usual.
Nicholas also just feels weird, like, anxious, and he’s not sure why. A little nauseous, actually- wait. No.
It couldn’t be. It’s two weeks too early.
Regardless, Nicholas finds the nearest opportunity to excuse himself to the bathroom.
He locks the door behind him, thankful this place has single occupancy bathrooms, and leans against the wall. He doesn’t need to throw up, he doesn’t think so, he just needs a moment to collect himself after- whatever that was. Because he’s not in pre-heat. He’s on suppressants, he hasn’t missed any, and he’s not supposed to be experiencing any of this until the weekend after next, when everything’s already been scheduled.
God, this can’t be happening- but it is, Nicholas knows what this feels like, the wet heat growing between his legs and the feeling low in his belly that is destined to turn into complete, all-consuming wanting.
It’s fine. It’s only pre-heat, he knows how to deal with this. He grabs his phone and texts &omega , the group chat he has with Yuma and Harua.
Nico: hey can one of you bring me my bag
im in the gender neutral bathroom down the hall
need my emergency suppressants
It takes a moment for the message to show up as read, but once it is the response is quick.
Yuma: ofc
everything ok?
Nico: yeah i just need to lay down for a minute
A couple moments later, there’s a knock on the door. Thank god, Nicholas thinks. He really didn’t want to be waiting for long.
“Nico?” Yuma says from the other side of the door.
“Yeah, one sec,” Nicholas says as he moves to unlock it.
“Here,” Yuma hands him the bag.
“Thank you so much, gosh, this is so weird.” Nicholas starts rifling through for the pill bottle.
“Yeah, you’re not scheduled until…” Yuma trails off.
“End of this month.” Nicholas replies.
“You can probably just go sit in the green room for a bit. It’s empty, I can let everyone know not to go in there for a while.” Yuma offers.
Nicholas nods. “Yeah, that- um, that sounds really nice. Thanks.”
It doesn’t take long for Nicholas to start feeling better, laying down on the (surprisingly comfortable) couch in the quiet green room, with the lights dim. He forces himself to just close his eyes and lay there. Going on his phone right now won’t do him any good when his primary goal right now is just to relax and wait for the suppressants to kick in. So, he just sits in the quiet and thinks.
He won’t be able to stave his heat off for too long after this, or at least, he’d rather not try. He can make it to this coming weekend, but the day they’d originally planned is definitely too far out. He’ll have to deal with the scheduling mess later, he knows, but first things first, he has to make it through today.
The 30 minute timer on his phone goes off and jolts Nicholas awake from where he’d started drifting in and out of sleep.
He sits up. He feels better. A little off, but better. In the mirror across the room, he sees his hair’s gotten a little messed up from laying on it, but that should be fine- he needs to get re-styled anyways. He goes to get himself a paper cup of cucumber water from the cooler. He takes a sip and quickly realizes he’s a lot thirstier than he first thought he was. He gulps the water down, practically chugging it, before going back for more.
Before he can bring his second cup to his lips, there’s a knock on the door.
“Can I come in?” It’s Euijoo’s voice.
“Yeah,” Nicholas replies automatically.
Euijoo opens the door slowly, a little cautiously, until he sees Nicholas standing in the corner and finally steps into the room. He’s already changed into his second outfit for the shoot.
“Hey, Yuma told me you were dealing with omega stuff , is how he phrased it, and, it’s been a while so I just wanted to make sure you were ok?”
“Mhm, yeah, it- can you close the door?” Nicholas asks. He’d rather have a little more privacy for this conversation.
Euijoo complies, stepping further into the room.
“My heat’s come a little earlier than scheduled,” Nicholas says, noting the way Euijoo’s eyes get wider as he stands up slightly straighter than he was before, “I have those emergency pills I can take, that’ll give me a few days, but… I’m probably going to have to move my arrangements up a bit.”
Euijoo nods, “Okay, yeah, we can talk to the company and get that figured out. Definitely.”
“You don’t have to,” Nicholas says, “I know it’s a lot, and my unplanned absence is probably enough to deal with, so, to have two members missing, and one of them’s leader, I mean, I get it if you can’t. Or don’t want to.”
“Of course I want to.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. It’s my job to take care of my members, after all.” Euijoo says, half joking.
“I don’t think that’s what Hybe meant when they put that in the contract.”
Euijoo laughs softly, “No, but- for you, I want to. If that’s what you want.”
Nicholas nods, stepping closer. He pulls Euijoo into a hug and whispers, “Thank you.”
Euijoo rubs his hand along Nico’s back, and Nicholas feels tension dissipating from his body that he hadn’t even realized was there. He pulls back to look at Euijoo again. Unlike earlier, his eyes meet Nico’s, unwavering. Sincere, supportive.
Their foreheads are touching, just a bit. Nicholas doesn’t remember when that happened, but he’s not complaining. They’re getting closer and it’s like magnets, like it’s just happening, neither one of them making a conscious choice to. Nicholas lets his eyes flutter closed as he feels the warmth of Euijoo’s breath against his lips, and then-
Brrrring! Brrrring! Brrrring!
Nicholas jolts away as an alarm goes off on his phone. He goes to shut it off.
“Shit, I must’ve hit the snooze button by accident.”
“Yeah, I guess.” Euijoo says. He’s just standing there, smoothing his clothes, sort of awkward now that they’ve broken apart.
Nicholas feels cold. He misses holding Euijoo, honestly, but now is not the time. It would’ve been a bad idea, anyways. It’s just the last remnants of his pre-heat. He would’ve regretted it.
“I should- we should-” Nicholas starts.
“Yeah,” Euijoo is clearly just as eager to exit this interaction as Nicholas is.
There’s a lot of perks to fucking your beta coworker as an idol. No need to worry about him running his mouth to the media, and being together in public so often anyways means it’s not out of the ordinary for them to be seen together. Discretion is still key of course, but it’s not like hiring heat or rut services where a handful of fansite photos would be all it takes to trigger a PR crisis.
There’s other perks, too. Euijoo knows what Nicholas likes. They trust each other. Euijoo is familiar, he’s safe. Nicholas really likes that when he’s in heat. It’s part of his nesting impulses, he thinks. The familiarity.
So obviously, when he’s told that after three years he’ll be booked for a different hotel than usual, on such short notice, he takes this very well.
“ What .” Nicholas says, sharply. He’s trying very hard not to yell.
“Look, I know this isn’t ideal, but it just wasn’t possible to move the reservation up. We did everything we could.” His manager says to him over the phone.
He’s out for lunch with Euijoo, Kei and Fuma. A double date , Kei had jokingly called it. All three of them are looking at him, trying to figure out what’s going on.
Nicholas takes a deep breath in. He’s more irritable these days. Stupid hormones. It’s not his manager’s fault, he knows that. That doesn’t mean he’s not angry about it.
“Fine. Okay.” Nicholas replies.
His manager sighs on the other end of the line, “Thank you for understanding. Talk to you later.”
“Yes, bye.” Nicholas is terse. His manager is obviously aware that he’s pissed, but there’s no point in arguing or anything. What’s done is done, and just two days from now Nicholas will have to spend his heat in an unfamiliar place. Whatever. At least Euijoo will be there.
Everyone’s still looking at him expectantly.
“It’s nothing. Just heat stuff,” Nicholas says, then turns to Euijoo and adds, “we can talk about it more later.”
Euijoo nods while Kei and Fuma look at each other in a… way.
“What?” Nicholas asks, sounding a little more defensive than he means.
“Nothing.” Kei says.
“We’re just… happy you two have each other.” Fuma says, taking a sip of his water in an attempt to mask his smile.
Nicholas knows he means it, but there’s something else in his words. Not this again .
It’s a thinly veiled secret that basically everyone in the group thinks Nicholas and Euijoo would be better off as a couple. They tiptoe around it, they joke, but Nicholas isn’t stupid. He knows what they’re thinking.
They just don’t get it. It wouldn’t work. Euijoo doesn’t work like that. Nicholas will take any leeway he’s given, any pathway he can into Euijoo’s heart, but if he pushes even a little too far he knows he’ll be pushed right out. He can’t risk it. Nicholas will go right up to the line, take every bit he can- but, if he ever crossed it, he could lose it all.
That can never happen. He’ll take halfway over nothing.
Nico’s heat officially starts on Friday morning, when he takes his birth control- but not his suppressants.
An hour or so later the company car is pulling up to the hotel- the different hotel- and for all the worry it had caused Nicholas over the past few days, it does seem like a really nice place.
They send Euijoo to check in first, then Nicholas a few minutes after him. They’re both dressed in sweats, with bags slung over their shoulders packed for the weekend. Masked, obviously, and wearing hats just in case. It’s not public information that they’re going to be here, but you can never be too careful.
Nicholas moves through the interaction at the front desk as quickly and quietly as possible, but it doesn’t escape him that this lobby is… well, sort of a step up from usual. It’s a really nice place. If he were in a different headspace, he might’ve stopped to take in the ambiance a bit more.
Instead, he speedwalks to the elevator and rides it up to the fifth floor. He knocks on the door before he opens it to let Euijoo know he’s arrived. Euijoo’s still putting his things down, getting situated.
“Hey,” Nicholas says as he slips his shoes off. He walks further in to the room and drops his bag by the foot of the bed.
“Hi.” Euijoo says. He looks up at Nicholas briefly, then busies himself by rifling through his bag for something before he walks to the bathroom.
It’s always like this at first. Awkward. When Nicholas is too lucid to take what he wants and Euijoo is too timid to coax it out of him.
Nicholas busies himself by looking around. He hasn’t seen the bathroom yet but the main part of the room is very nice. Warm lighting, simple decoration. The panel molding along the walls makes the whole place feel a little too fancy for what he's about to spend two to three days doing in it. There’s a couch by the window and a lovely view- though, the curtains will be drawn for the vast majority of their stay.
It’s not a familiar place, but it feels safe in its own way.
The bed is also very comfortable. He pushes against it a little, bouncing as he sits and it doesn’t make much noise. Seems sturdy, too. There’s something… a little wrong, though. Ah, it’s these pillows. Something is wrong with the pillows. And the smell is too… neutral- wait. Nicholas remembers the clothes he snagged from the dorm this morning. Perfect.
By the time Euijoo emerges from the bathroom, Nicholas is in full nesting mode.
“Need any help?”
“No, you’ll do it wrong.” Nicholas replies, he keeps working, arranging things, and it’s almost good- until he feels this absence, like, something is really wrong, missing, empty.
Oh. Of course.
He motions for Euijoo to join him in the nest. He lays down and yeah, that’s what was missing. Nicholas finally feels calm.
Euijoo’s just sitting there, seeming unfazed at first, but Nicholas doesn’t miss the nervous way he’s unconsciously fidgeting with the bedsheet next to him.
Nicholas is in the early stages of heat, there’s no doubt about it, but he doesn’t really want to have sex right now. He doesn’t want to chat, or do much of anything, honestly- just lay here. With Euijoo. Being close to him, that’s enough.
So, that’s what they do.
It’s really nice, honestly. Some of the alphas Nicholas has been with in the past, they could be so demanding, sometimes, when he was in heat. Euijoo’s not like that. First off, he’s not an alpha, but it’s not just that. He understands a heat isn’t only sex for Nicholas- though to be clear, it’s mostly about sex. That’s the main biological reason any of this is happening.
But it’s also about this. It’s about a hazy late afternoon with his head resting on Euijoo’s chest, the dull ache in his torso slowly transforming into something else, something deeper. Finally, the good kind of tension, warm desire, the kind of thing he wants to revel in and just feel, feel, feel.
Euijoo is looking at him. Like, on purpose. Like he’s expecting something. It’s at this moment Nicholas realizes he’s started grinding against Euijoo’s leg. Whoops.
“Hey,” Euijoo’s voice is barely above a whisper as he says one of the two phrases they’ve exchanged since they entered this room.
It means something else this time, though.
Nicholas looks up at Euijoo and thinks, I want to kiss him , before he remembers that, yeah, he can do that. They’ve done that before. They have officially entered the time and place in their relationship where that is very much allowed.
So, he does. He leans up and captures Euijoo’s mouth with his own, halfway on to Euijoo’s lap with their mouths still connected before he breaks away to reply, simply, “Hi.”
Nicholas straddles Euijoo, and when he breathes in, he notices just how thick the air in the room is. It’s a lot of his smell, obviously, heat pheromones and all, but Euijoo’s in there too. His arousal, his adrenaline. Nicholas can tell, even if Euijoo’s beta senses aren’t quite as keen as his own, that he’s being affected by it. Well, that and the fact he has an omega in heat straddling his lap. That can also do things to a man.
His scent isn’t the only sign of his arousal, though. Far from it. The way he kisses Nicholas, hungry, bringing his tongue along the seam of Nico’s lips and then, when Nicholas parts them, pliant and ready, bringing it just far enough in to lick along the soft skin of his lips and drive him insane . Nicholas may be the one in heat, but Euijoo has his own desire- even if he’s sometimes not quick to show it.
Nicholas finds himself pawing at Euijoo’s sweats, whining when he remembers that taking them off means Euijoo can’t have another man on top of him for a few seconds. Nicholas begrudgingly sits up and watches carefully as Euijoo discards his clothing to reveal the soft expanse of his thighs, the thin fabric of his briefs, the bulge between his legs.
Nicholas bites his lip. “Shirt, too,” He breathes. He’s quiet, but it still feels loud after however long of silence aside from heavy breathing and the rustling of fabric.
The warm glow of earlier is slowly being replaced with something fiercer, more demanding. Nicholas rakes his eyes across Euijoo, his abs, his arms, his blown-wide pupils and mussed hair, before remembering he can touch and straddling Euijoo again.
Euijoo is stronger than last time. He’s been working out. His muscles are more defined than they used to be, that’s for sure. It’s too easy to forget how fit he is in day-to-day life, but not now, with his arms wrapped around Nicholas, hands rucking up his shirt before pulling it off entirely in one swift motion. It’s ridiculously hot.
The bulge in Euijoo’s pants is tenting now. Nicholas is- oh , he’s so wet, now that he thinks about it. Almost uncomfortably so. Well. Only one way to fix that.
They make quick work of the rest of their clothes and the moment they’re completely naked, Euijoo gets Nicholas under him. Nicholas lets it happen, lets himself melt into Euijoo’s touch as he gets a hand between his legs, moving in slow, maddening circles. Nicholas moves his hips in tandem, threatening to buck sharply up every time Euijoo reaches his clit. It’s delicious, it’s amazing . Nico’s lips slide against Euijoo’s jaw, leaving a line of spit there as he kisses down Euijoo’s neck before arriving at his scent gland. He nips it, just a little, leaving sloppy kisses as he lets Euijoo absolutely fill his senses.
Euijoo’s hand falters, rhythm turning into something more scattered, desperate. The pads of his fingers slip inside of Nicholas, and that alone is enough to make him mewl as his legs snap up to trap Euijoo there.
“Please,” Nicholas pants against Euijoo’s neck, “Please, I need it.”
Euijoo pushes his fingers in further, filling Nicholas up- but not in the way he wants, needs . It’s becoming very clear that neither of them are patient enough to wait much longer for the inevitable.
Euijoo takes his freshly slick-covered fingers and brings them to his cock, pumping it a few times before he comes back down. He presses his forehead against Euijoo’s, their eyes locked together and spit-wet swollen mouths open, panting, breathing each other’s air as he finally pushes in. Nico’s eyes flutter involuntarily shut, back arching at the sensation of Euijoo. Euijoo, Euijoo, Euijoo .
Nicholas hears himself saying the name, over and over, like a prayer.
They lose track of time, literally. It’s light outside, they fuck, they nap, then the cycle repeats and at some point it’s dark. They fuck again, then nap again, then Euijoo gets them both up and forces Nicholas to eat a protein bar and drink half a bottle of water. They don’t talk much, but it’s more words than they’ve said to each other this whole time so far. Surprisingly, it’s not that awkward. Turns out having a guy fuck Nicholas for literal hours, their hands and mouths all over each other, cock filling Nicholas up until he can hardly take it anymore- makes some casual chatting seem like nothing.
Then, they fuck again. This time it’s Euijoo’s head between Nico’s legs, tongue lapping at the soft pink skin with two fingers inside him. Nico’s heat-addled sex drive is a bit much for Euijoo’s cock to keep up with entirely, but honestly who fucking cares. Euijoo is far too good at this. It’s not fair. Nicholas is a whimpering mess by the end of it, his hands twisted in Euijoo’s hair as an orgasm crashes over him.
After that round, before their nap, Nicholas checks his phone and sees it’s four in the morning. When he wakes up again, it’s daytime.
It’s daytime, and something is wrong , very wrong. He’s not sure what, but he knows it before he even opens his eyes. He reaches out for- oh. Euijoo. Where’s Euijoo? Nicholas shoots up, searching frantically, heart pounding in his chest when he doesn’t see him.
Then, he hears noise coming from the bathroom. Oh. Nicholas takes a few deep breaths, but he still can’t fully calm himself down until he sees Euijoo walk in to the room. He’s got a pair of sweats on now, Nicholas notes. He himself is still naked. He’s also… sort of gross-feeling, in general.
“Everything ok?” Euijoo asks.
“Yeah I just, when I didn’t know where you were, I got a little, um, panicky.”
“Sorry.”
“No, not your fault.” Nicholas says. His stomach growls loud , Euijoo hears it too.
“Oh, d’you wanna get some food?”
“Yeah, but, could we shower first?”
Euijoo pauses for a moment before agreeing, “Sure, I’ll get the water running.”
It’s because I said ‘we’, Nicholas realizes. He just sort of assumed they would shower together. Well, it seems Euijoo agrees, and it’s not exactly out of line with how intimate they’ve been so far today.
To Nico’s surprise, and Euijoo’s probably, as well, they don’t fuck in the shower. They just shower like normal people, and then they dry off, get dressed and order food- which turns out to be amazing, but it probably helps that Nicholas hardly ate yesterday and is really feeling it now.
He’s got clothes on again. Once they’d started having sex yesterday, Nicholas had been naked until about an hour or so ago.
He’s clean, a full stomach of warm food, and through the most intense part of his heat- still riding the endorphin high of who knows how many organisms. It's a great headspace, honestly.
“This is nice. I really needed this.” Nicholas says as he stands by the window, curtains finally open to reveal the lovely countryside view.
“Yeah, you seem better,” Euijoo pauses before adding, “You’ve been pretty wound up these past few days.”
Nicholas nods “I wasn’t myself. Pre-heat, and all that.”
“Well, I’m glad to have you back.” Euijoo says.
He soon lives to regret those words, because now that Nicholas isn’t genuinely biologically desperate for dick he gets to resume one of his favorite hobbies: teasing, annoying and just generally being a little shit towards one Byun Euijoo.
It all starts when he remembers that he packed the collar before he left. The gift one, the photoshoot one. The one that clearly drives Euijoo crazy.
Nicholas grabs it from his bag at the foot of the bed and puts it on. When he stands up, Euijoo’s eyes lock on to it immediately.
“What? Oh, this?” Nicholas asks, playing dumb.
Euijoo leans back in the nest, “I didn’t know you brought that.”
“Yeah, I sort of forgot, until now. Been busy, you know.”
“Oh, really?” Euijoo plays along as if he’s not the reason.
“Yeah.” Nicholas sighs as he sits on the edge of the bed, just outside of his nest.
Euijoo moves over to where Nicholas is and gets behind him, bringing a hand to the back of his neck to move the collar slightly up on one side. Nicholas shudders as Euijoo buries his nose in his scent gland. Then Euijoo’s in front of him- straddling him and pushing him back into the nest.
He giggles as his head bounces on the soft mattress, “Ooh, okay, Sexy JuJu.”
“Shut up.” Euijoo replies. His ears go a little pink. Despite the fact he’s spent nearly the past 48 hours fucking Nicholas silly, he still blushes at being called sexy. Gosh. Byun Euijoo. Nico is so ridiculously fond of him.
“Why? You are.” Nicholas continues.
“The way you say it is, like, teasing.” Euijoo explains.
“Well, I’m not.” Nicholas says, even though he was. He sits up from under Euijoo- who moves to sit next to him- and says, “Byun Euijoo, I find you very sexy.” This is also true.
“Good, because we’re going to have sex now.” Euijoo says as he moves further in to the nest.
“Oh, are we?” Nicholas follows him.
“Yes. I hate you.” Euijoo cages Nicholas in under him, with a playful smile and eyes that are just drinking Nicholas in. He loves it.
“Hate you more,” Nicholas hooks a leg around Euijoo’s middle, grinding their hips together.
So much for clothes. Nicholas has better things to do.
Laying in the afterglow, they finally talk about their feelings. Sort of.
“This thing, drove me crazy when you wore it for that photoshoot.” Euijoo says, fidgeting with the buckle on Nico’s collar. It’s moved to the side of his neck instead of directly at the back.
“I could tell.” Nicholas says.
“Yeah?”
“Mhm. You could hardly look at me. I was worried about how the photos would turn out.”
“Really? Was I that obvious?” Euijoo asks.
“Not to other people, no. But to me? You felt… far away.”
Euijoo nods, processing, “Far away,” He repeats.
“Yeah.” Nicholas says. It’s a ridiculous thing to bring up now , Euijoo was inside of him not even ten minutes ago, but that doesn’t mean it’s not true.
Nicholas isn’t sure where to go from there, so he doesn’t. He lays there with Euijoo, feeling him near, listening to the sound of his breath. Nicholas thinks, after a while, he might just drift off and wake up who knows when, as they’ve been doing. But then the fire inside of him ignites once again and he’s coaxing Euijoo’s mouth open with his own, tangling a hand in Euijoo’s hair as he moves his head between Nico’s legs for another round.
On the third day, Nicholas knows his heat is over as soon as he wakes up. Right on schedule. It’s a strange feeling, knowing it’s done when it’s still so fresh. He’s a little sore. It’s the good kind, though.
Nicholas checks his phone. It’s only 8, so they have a few hours before they need to check out. If he really wanted, he could probably swing for a late checkout, but he’s been in this room so long he would rather get out early. He needs fresh air.
Euijoo is next to him, still asleep. He looks very… round, when he sleeps, is the best way to describe it. The slope of his nose, the shape of his eyes, the fullness of his lips, his cheeks. Even his hair, the way it frames his face. Very round. It’s adorable.
Nicholas wants to cry. It hits him quick and he’s confused by it, the emotions hitting before the conscious thought.
Once we leave this room, I don’t get this anymore.
That’s the problem with halfway. Nicholas can pretend it’s enough, but it never will be.
Euijoo doesn’t need to wake up. It doesn’t matter if they have to rush to leave later, Nicholas wants to sit in this moment and take every last bit he can.
At some point Nicholas falls back asleep, and when he wakes up it’s Euijoo standing over him, already dressed.
“Hey,” Euijoo speaks softly, “It’s ten, I had them give us late checkout so, you don’t need to rush.”
Because of course he did.
“Oh, thank you.” Nicholas says. He gets up, showers alone. He can eat later, somewhere else.
They do end up still needing the late checkout, but they’re out earlier than expected- if the absence of a company car waiting for them is any indication. They’re not going to be outside for long, maybe ten minutes, but they still go stand off to the side of the building where there’s less chance of being seen. They’re also bundled up again, barely any skin visible in an attempt to keep any nosy individuals or press from figuring out who they are.
Still, somehow, Euijoo notices when Nicholas starts crying.
“What’s wrong?” Euijoo asks, quietly.
Nicholas debates saying it’s nothing, that it’s just hormones, or whatever- but he’s driving himself crazy. He needs to tell the truth.
“I can’t do this anymore.”
Euijoo’s eyes go wide, “What? Did- Did I do something wrong?”
“No, that’s not what I meant. The heat was great. You’re amazing.”
Euijoo breathes a sigh of relief only to tense up again when Nicholas starts again.
“I just hate that after, we go back to being friends, and we never talk about it, and pretend like everything is normal when it’s-” Nicholas cuts himself off to regain some composure.
Euijoo’s frozen in place. He doesn’t say a word for a solid ten seconds.
Then, Euijoo says, “I hate it too.”
What?
“I just thought- I thought that was what you wanted.” Euijoo finishes.
Now it’s Nico’s turn to sigh and think for a moment, because… it’s complicated.
“I think I did, maybe, at first. I thought it was a good idea. But not because I didn’t like you enough to- to date you. I mean, I thought this was what you wanted,” Nicholas explains, “And I still… I think I was clinging on to it, telling myself it was the right idea, but… maybe I was wrong.”
“Oh. ” Euijoo says. He steps closer to Nicholas, pulls him into a hug.
“And when you got me the collar, it was so nice. You’re so nice. I didn’t want it to be a friendly gift, you know? It was just… such a couple item, drove me crazy.” Nicholas keeps rambling, floodgates open. He feels Euijoo’s shoulders shake. Looks like he’s crying, too.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” Euijoo says.
“No- I’m sorry.” Nicholas says.
They break apart, both wiping tears from their eyes.
“Well. Looks like we’re both idiots, hey?” Nicholas says, still sniffling, but the smile on his face is genuine.
Euijoo chuckles a little.
“I really want to kiss you right now.” Euijoo says.
“What’s stopping you?” Nicholas replies- knowing the answer is a lot, common sense first and foremost, but he doesn't care.
He pulls down his mask and Euijoo does the same. When their lips meet, it’s different, somehow. Better, Nicholas thinks. Oh. This is the first time he’s kissed Euijoo outside of heat.
A couple days later, Nicholas has a doctor’s appointment to discuss why his heat came early. Euijoo comes with him for moral support.
To be honest, they haven’t discussed their conversation outside of the hotel much further. Once they were in the presence of their driver, it wasn’t really an option. Then they just got so swept up in catching up with their members and returning to work that it didn’t happen.
It also helps that both of them are avoiding it. Like, they probably could have found time to talk about it, they should have, but they didn’t, and Nicholas knows if he lets it go for much longer it’ll be like it never happened. Part of him wants that return to familiarity, however damaging, but he meant what he said. He knows it’s a bad idea.
Back to the present moment, Nicholas is alone in a patient room at the omega clinic. The doctor’s been gone for a few minutes, finishing up the last of his tests that will tell him how he needs to adjust his suppressants.
The doctor walks back into the room with a clipboard, presumably of test results.
“Right, well first off, we won’t be adjusting any of your medications.”
“Really? But isn’t that why all this happened?”
“It can be, but your results suggest a different story,” The doctor pauses, looking at his computer for a moment, “Before your heat began, did you experience any emotionally extreme or distressing events?”
Nicholas shakes his head, “No, everything was very normal."
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
The appointment from then on is very straightforward. They don’t recommend adjusting his medications at this time, but they will continue monitoring and react accordingly if further issues arise. They also recommended Nicholas see a therapist, one that specializes in omegan social issues.
Euijoo’s waiting for Nicholas in the waiting room after he’s done. On their way back to the dorm, Nicholas explains everything.
“Emotionally distressing?” Euijoo repeats, opening the door to the lobby of their building.
“Yeah, that’s what he said. I can’t think of anything, though. Everything was… pretty standard.” Nicholas says.
They step into the elevator, alone.
“I mean, the night before was- what, when I gave you the collar?” Euijoo asks.
Wait, that could be it. Nicholas thinks. He doesn’t say it out loud, he's not sure if that's too much.
“Nicholas?” Euijoo tries to get Nico’s attention again.
Fuck it. He’s trying to be more open about this stuff anyways.
“Honestly? That could’ve been it.”
Euijoo furrows his brow slightly in confusion, “How so?”
“Remember, how I said I wished it was romantic, like a courting gift? I really did. I wanted it to be so bad. Then I wore it the next day, I couldn't stop thinking about it, about you. What collars usually mean when you give them to someone. Maybe that was it. Wanting that. Wanting it to be true. Well, that and all of our… history. Just reaching a breaking point.”
Euijoo stares at Nicholas. He gets it, that’s sort of a lot to process. He’s jolted back to reality when the elevator arrives at their floor with a ding .
Euijoo looks around and starts walking towards their dorm, speaking low and looking around to make sure no one can hear, “Y’know, I’ve been thinking a lot about that weekend. About what you said after.”
Okay, we’re doing this now, Nicholas thinks.
“And I meant it. When I said I was sorry. That I hate how we pretend to forget, after.” Euijoo finishes.
“Me too,” Nicholas says, “So… what if we didn’t?”
“Yeah,” Euijoo nods, “I like that idea.”
They’ve arrived in front of their door, but neither of them have opened it yet. Nicholas is standing with his back to it, Euijoo in front of him. Euijoo looks up and down the hallway, making sure the coast is clear before leaning forward, clearly searching for a kiss.
Nicholas feigns an offended gasp, “Before the first date? At least take a girl out to dinner-”
“We can hear you!” Maki yells from the other side of the door.
Nicholas immediately starts laughing as Euijoo’s head changes course to instead bang his forehead against the door in embarrassment.
“Sorry!” Nicholas says between giggles.
They finally go inside.
A few weeks before Nico’s surprise heat, Nicholas and Euijoo went shopping in Hongdae. Nicholas had almost bought a pair of earrings. He’d ended up deciding not to, then mentioned regretting it later.
A few days after the surprise heat, Nicholas and Euijoo are sitting alone in the dorm common room, and Euijoo has just given him a gift. It’s the earrings, and it’s a courting gift. Officially.
This time, when Nicholas wants to give him a thank you kiss, he simply does.